I want to talk to you briefly about your inner voice, that
inner monologue that's formed around the age of two or three,
or in conjunction with the development of expressive
language, that ability to communicate thoughts.
We all have a inner voice somewhere, and some say that
inner voice is critical. Some say that inner voice is
encouraging. I would like to speak to you
today about what is your inner voice saying to you?
Is it supporting you? Is it not?
Is it trying to condemn you? There's three dimensions to
inner speech that I want to briefly talk to you about today.
And the reason why I'm sharing this is it's coming up a lot in
the coaching sessions that I'm having.
And if you don't know, I am a leadership coach just for social
workers. After 12 years of practice in
child protection, I decided to step back and set up the Social
Work Coaching hub.com, which offers one to one coaching,
which is similar to mentoring publications and events just for
social workers. And of course this podcast,
because this is your safe space to think about.
Reflect on your personal development, because I believe
that pouring into your own cup is going to help you show up at
work and in practice the way that you want to.
So today I want to talk more about the inner voice, that
inner dialogue, and I'm going to talk about some research that's
taken from very well mind that talks about 3 dimensions to
inner speech. So let's talk Now, if you're
listening to this thinking, I don't even have an inner
monologue. There's research that suggests
not everyone has one, and there are different ways in which
people think. Now that might sound obvious,
but for someone who hasn't inner dialogue, I have one.
For someone that doesn't have one at all, it may be difficult
to think of. Well, how do other people think
about their thoughts or observe their own thoughts?
So one thing that people can know is something called inner
seeing. So it's imagining an image in
our minds that doesn't match what we're seeing in reality.
So you might see yourself on a beach or climbing a mountain,
right? Another one is unsymbolized
thinking. So this is thinking without
employing words. Feeling consciously thinking
about your feelings, your true emotions, and others may have
what they call sensory awareness.
So thinking about the sensory aspect of the environment while
not thinking about others. So for instance, on a windy day,
you may feel the wind and the way it makes your clothes blow
around. But instead of thinking about
those things, you may focus your thoughts on how cutting the wind
fields on your hands. Now, there's some people may
think in all five ways, including the inner monologue.
But when we're thinking about the dimensions of inner speech,
it will be remiss of me, not to mention the other ways in which
people think so. Coming back to those 3
dimensions of inner speech, number one is condensation.
Essentially, how concise is the verbiage of your inner
monologue? Is it descriptive?
Talkative, loud, whole sentences?
Short words? Just consider for a moment in
the way in which you experience that inner monologue.
This is often a subject that no one talks about.
You either talk about it when you're in therapy or coaching or
counselling, but just general conversations.
Who sits down and talks about their inner voice?
I often think the reason why the inner voice gets louder
sometimes or talks quickly sometimes is there's a sign that
there isn't an outlet. Most importantly, there isn't a
safe outlet. A place where you feel
psychologically safe and at home to truly express what's on your
mind. I think that's quite a dangerous
place to be. When your thoughts have no
outlet, when that inner voice has no outlet, where does it go?
Where does it sit and what's feeding it to keep it alive?
What's the impact of that? I've had social workers turn up
in coaching sessions and respectfully, there's moments in
time where I cannot get a word in, and that's because, one, I
don't want to interrupt. 2. The social worker is fully
immersed in a space where they can speak, a space where they
feel safe to speak, and three, sometimes you just need to allow
the room for someone to say right, I've got it all out now.
Now, after you've expressed yourself, I always say thank you
for trusting me with that. They could be speaking to
anyone, but they chose to speak to me about how they were truly
feeling. My next question would be which
one of those topics that you've brought up today is most
important to you to discuss in this coaching session and that's
what is the beginning of ordering those thoughts.
It's also the beginning of being in the space where you're
reflecting and all that. You've shared all that inner
voice wanted to share. And you know, most social
workers have a certain level of self-awareness anyway because of
the training around self reflection.
So often you get parallel what we call parallel processing,
where someone may be speaking but also voicing out loud what's
what's going on. Like for example, someone would
say, I know I'm talking a lot, but I really just need to to get
this out right. Again, there is absolutely
nothing wrong with that. I'm encouraging you and inviting
you right now to just be the one observing these thoughts,
observing the inner voice, seeing the way in which it
speaks to you, it's pace, it's tone, it's attitude, it's it's
feeling #2, whether you're thinking in one or multiple
voices. Now, I've alluded to that with
parallel processing, but some people believe it or not, they
can hear more than one voice. So again, let's think about what
is that inner voice saying? Is there more than one?
What is their tone? What are they saying?
How do they make you feel? And you can end up anticipating
future conversations by imagining what someone else is
saying. Or you can have an internal
debate and you can think of several perspectives at the same
time. There's many people who think
like that. I've not long had a coaching
session with a new social worker who was experiencing something
very similar from home life to work life, family life.
All of that was playing a part in how she was presenting in the
coaching session. And what came about from from
that was the inner voice wasn't being as encouraging as it could
be. So when I said can Ioffer you
another possibility here, using her own words, she said I didn't
even see it like that. Now there's a couple of ways of
interpreting that. First of all, I want to remind
you that our subconscious brain is 80% or more of our thoughts,
actions and behaviours. So when you're saying to
yourself or you're saying out loud, as the case may be, I
didn't even see it like that. Which brain are we referring to?
Which thoughts are we referring to?
Is that an inner thought? Is that the subconscious brain?
Where's that coming from? Which part of you didn't see
that? Let's flip this on its head
entirely and think about what the inner voice could be saying
to one of your parents. Is there a duality?
Is there parallel processing when they're speaking to you?
What's the condensation, The pace?
Single words? Paragraphs.
How does that impact the way that they communicate with you,
With their children, With others?
We all know this, and sometimes it's difficult to grasp.
When you have deadlines and visits and court work to
complete, everybody thinks differently.
So as a result of that thinking about what we talked about
earlier, inner seeing and symbolised thinking, feeling,
sensory awareness, that inner monologue, some people could
experience all five of those, some people only just one.
Sometimes when you're listening to parents, listening to your
families, it's also about reading in between the lines.
Now on Saturday the 13th of April 2024 London, I am going to
be hosting the Empowering Social Workers Conference.
I'm super excited to bring this to you.
There'll be motivational speakers, panel guests, keynote
speakers, food, socialising, networking, you name it.
It's going to be a place for us to come together and share with
one another, but we most importantly grow.
As you can tell. And if you listen to me, I love
talking about personal development and I love talking
about professional development. And we're pulling those two
elements together to bring you the Empowering Social Workers
Conference. I will be releasing the names of
the speakers soon, which is super exciting, so stay tuned
for that. Go to
socialworkcoachinghub.com/events. I'll see you there.
Do you want more of this podcast?
More insights? Deeper insights?
Then you can go to the bio straight away and click the
premium podcast subscription at 299 per month.
How many of you spend 299 per month with a click of a finger?
You can buy snacks with that, right?
So I would love for you to join me over there.
We've already started a community and over there you'll
get deeper insights and personal stories for practice,
professional development and personal development.
I can't wait to see you over there, but in the meantime,
let's get back to this podcast episode.
When we're thinking about the inner monologue, it's worth it
to consider the intentionality of this inner monologue.
What is the aim? What does it want to achieve?
What is it telling you? So whether or not you're
deliberately using your inner monologue, there's a message in
it somewhere. Think about when your mind
wanders. Is the inner monologue active,
even though we didn't make a conscious decision to use it?
Is it in single words? Is it in paragraphs?
What's happening? Just stepping back for a moment,
really think about that question.
What is happening now? There may be moments for some of
you where you think I just want to shut this thing up.
Excuse my French Lord, but it is too noisy.
This inner talk is just sending me crazy.
And that can happen equally. If it is encouraging or inviting
you to think in a different way, in a more expansive way, in a
way that serves you, what is the positive outcome for you?
Now we know that the inner voice is probably made-up of all the
complex interplay of factors such as upbringing, cultural
influences, personal experiences and cognitive processes,
attachment which we've talked about before.
And as you navigate the various aspects of your working life,
the inner voice develops and evolves, and it shapes your
beliefs, your attitudes and your responses to different
situations. It can be such a powerful force
that can influence your emotions, your decision making,
and overall your mental health. Identifying the inner voice is
crucial for yourself, awareness and personal development.
Crucial. I'm underlining the word
crucial. Crucial.
Think about what it's saying to you, why it's saying it to you.
Now there's three ways in which you can recognise and understand
the inner voice, and I'm going to talk about that more on the
Podcast Premium. The link is in the bio.
If you want to join us over there in that community so
you're able to identify what's happening for you and how, how
exactly are you going to navigate it?
I've been Lisa Ram, it's been a pleasure as always speaking to
you today and I trust you are having a blessed new year so
far. We're almost at the end already.
I can't believe it now all the shops are going to be focused on
Valentine's Day, aren't they? Then it will be Mother's Day and
we have Easter early this year as well here in the UK.
So the year's going to start to move quickly as it is.
And I want to encourage you. Whatever it is you've written
for your Vision 2024, whatever it is, you have not started.
Come on. Whatever it is, you have not
started. Whatever it is you have not
followed through on just yet, make sure you do it before this
month is over. Declutter that draw.
Make that call. Start that course.
It's so easy to let the year and the months just roll on by and
get straight back into the same routine as soon as you get busy
again. It's so easy to do and even
today I had to have a talk with myself and I looked at my vision
sheet and I said I said I was going to do X by the end of the
month. It is now the 20 of January.
I need to make sure I'm on point and by the 31st of January this
is going to be completed. So I'm just extending that
empowerment over to you guys that whatever it is that you've
planned to do, that you have not yet put your finger on to get
started. Keep the promise to yourself,
get it done in the midst of you getting it done.
It's worth you considering coming back to the topic.
What is the inner voice that's happening for you for?
Not have started it yet. My inner voice was this is going
to take too long. This is going to take too long.
I often get that if I have to make a call, you know, to these
companies, energy companies think, oh, going to be on hold
for an hour, 2 hours. I'm going to need a good chunk
of time to deal with this and that stops me from making the
call. I know someone that I need to
call right now and I haven't made the call.
When I had a chat with myself this morning, I was thinking,
why? Why haven't I?
It's like I need a big chunk of time to do it because I know
once you get on the phone to these companies, they put you on
hold and then you might get passed to several departments
before you get to the right person and I have to gear myself
up for that. I don't know about you, I don't
know about you, but I'd rather not spend 3 hours trying to get
through to an energy company to not get it resolved potentially.
So we have to think about what's that inner voice telling us,
what's the impact and what's it going to achieve.
In this case, and in my case, it's achieved nothing.
It's still on the list, still needs to be done.
So in this case it's been completely unhelpful.
I guess I have to just block out the time knowing that it might
take that time and you never know, I might be surprised.
It might take me 10 minutes. On that note, I'm going to leave
it there. I said that 5 minutes ago,
didn't I? But I will see you next week
with another episode and join me over on Podcast Premium.
The link is in the show Notes to this podcast.
Have a blessed week. Remember, you're not alone.