Be a social worker, welcome to the podcast show, hosted by
social worker just for you offering you a safe space for
encouragement insights and to enhance your leadership skills
for your social work, practice and self-care.
I'm Lisa ran your host. And I went from a decade of
front-line, safeguarding Social Work to certified leadership
coach for social workers where I offer safe and independent space
for social workers to reflect and develop across the UK.
Welcome to the first podcast show that is really exciting.
We're going to be focused on adult attachment styles for you
as social workers. And how that shows up in your
self-care, I'm going to be talking from the premise that
you have an understanding of what attachment is.
Because of course, we're all social workers here.
We're talking about adult attachment Styles here because
adult attachment Styles become more complicated than
children's. Styles because there's more
influences, more contributing factors and different
experiences that have an impact, a whole list of things, we're
going to first start off with insecure attachment, and look at
the anxious or preoccupied as it may be called attachment style.
Now, this particular style tends to worry extensively about
relationships. And people with this style, tend
to be insecure about themselves. Possibly have Our self-esteem
and there is more of a codependency style that they
require from relationships. Can be clingy or needy Etc.
Then we have the avoidant or dismissive, as it may be called
attachment style. This is where you have someone
who's more, independent, confident, self sufficient.
At least that's how they appear to be.
But often people in this attachment style, do Don't want
other people to rely on them too much.
Okay, it's so they can become distant.
The disorganized style, is a mix between those two insecure
attachment Styles. So it's a mix between anxious
and avoidance behaviors. Now, my first question to you as
a social worker, working with families and our fellow
colleagues professionals. Do you know what your attachment
style is? And do you think it's important
for you to know what your attachment style is?
what I find in my coaching sessions is, often people do not
have an awareness of their attachment Style, There are
often looking at the outcome of a behavior and not necessarily
looking at the cause of the behavior.
They may even touch on the symptoms of what's happening,
but still, not really understand the cause What would happen if
you understood your attachment style better and how would that
influence? How you practice, or how you're
looking, after yourself, whilst you're at work?
I think that is a very important question to explore because all
of us have an attachment Style. Whether it's secure, whether
it's insecure, we all have an attachment style.
So having an understanding of what that is when that part of
the core of how you relate to others and the lens through
which you see information and receive information, I think
that's an important thing to know.
The fourth attachment style is secure, so this is where you
don't depend on anyone, where you are independent and you are
confident and you'll Eddie in your, your approach and your
response to things that happen. So I want to reflect on how a
colleague or yourself with an axe.
Anxious attachment style, may present, I'm going to give you
five elements here and then we're going to ask you some
questions to reflect on perhaps how that may show up in
self-care. And I will talk about a Coaching
or we call Cochise, Cochise is someone that I coached coaches,
I will talk about my interaction with a Kochi who had an anxious
attachment Styles. So number one, Hiya burnout
levels. Can you see why I say?
It's really important, you know what you are and how you
present. Because if you have a higher
burnout level, think of it as completing a single assessment,
when you're looking at your complicating factors, or what
you're worried about in your signs of safety, when you're
considering that element, you're considering level of risk.
And the level of risk that supposed to a child, you are
going to reflect on that in your recommendation and you're going
to want to put a service or ensure that there is something
in place that minimizes that risk.
We've got to do that for ourselves.
Particularly, if you have an anxious attachment style, if you
have a higher burnout, level potential, Then it's an
indication that something needs to be in place for you to
support you because of that increased risk.
Number two. Hypersensitivity to feedback.
How does that show up in practice?
You know as a TM IQ Aid Court statements reports assessments,
you name it all the time feedback has to be given all the
time for various reasons. So one with an anxious
attachment style may take some of those reasons personally and
may feel it's about them rather than let's make sure this report
is is detailed as it could be for this child, for example.
Less ability, number 3, less ability to work independently,
and autonomously, and over-reliance.
On the supervisor, That's self-explanatory number for
conformity. Conformity.
How does that show up? Do you want to just fit in?
Is that the reason why you make them form?
How does that show up when you're managing risk?
Number five, strong fear of rejection.
I've worked with social workers that have an anxious attachment
Style. And the fear of rejection showed
up in every conversation. So this particular social worker
would ensure that they have the answer to everything.
And if I was to question that plan in any way, ensuring that
we've covered all angles, Was after met with resistance.
The resistance was coming from a place of, I don't want to get
this wrong, so you can argue, it's coming from a good place,
but it's also coming from a place of fear, which from my
experience with just this particular Social Work, everyone
is individual. We're not saying that the
anxious attachment style shows up exactly the same in every
one. It is slightly different that
minimize the opportunity for that.
Social worker to be teachable coachable.
I'm wanting to learn because they wanted to make sure that
actually everything was done. So even with feather,
questioning to ensure that we've covered everything and those
things may not be covered, then that social worker became quite
defensive and it wasn't defensive to the point there was
conflict, but it was Defensive to the point where it was more
difficult to make suggestions to make something better.
That's just my experience. And I'm talking about one person
in the world here, but it's very important that you have a you're
reflecting as I'm talking to you and how that may show up in your
practice. Now let's talk about self-care.
I'm going to talk about again, a social worker that I've I've
worked with because let's think about it like this.
If you care for yourself in the way that you attach to yourself
and to others, Others through your style of attachment.
How would the anxious attachment style show up?
There's an intersectionality between survival and be
nurturing to yourself. So the word that comes up for
me, there is around Trust. Trusting yourself.
Do you trust yourself? Do you trust others?
Can you ask for help? A worker that I've worked with,
before, with this attachment style, they overindulged they
overindulged in work in particular, and became someone
who overworked. Out of fear of questioning this
script that they have, they had running through their minds, and
the script went something like this.
Am I good enough? Am I doing enough?
What will they say, if I do this?
So when they're asking themselves these questions, and
we're not saying that we should not be reflecting in action, but
it's also important that when we are reflecting, we have a self
awareness of what space that's coming from for us as the social
worker. Super powers of the anxious
attachment style. Let's talk about this.
They can be very accurate in detecting BS.
Their BS sniffers. They can see it coming.
The question is, why do you think that is?
Some of you may know the answer to this part of this is about
survival mold feeling safe. Who makes me feel safe, where do
I feel safe? Who doesn't make me feel safe?
Where do I not feel safe, right? So if you're breaking it down to
those four elements, the anxious attachment style can spot BS
Omar and they can see when that is being presented to them.
That can also come in the, in the form of hyper-vigilance.
Now, if someone is hyper Vigilant, that means that
they're on high alert all the time and it means ultimately,
they are activated. They are activated and being
activated in a place of being. Activated can be very, very,
very powerful. Not always in a good way, but it
can be useful if you're trying to spot the BS, right?
Self care. When you have an insecure
attachment Style, there has to be some consideration for how
you see yourself and how you treating yourself how you speak
to yourself? And even though we've talked
about some of the challenges associated with the insecure
attachment style, mainly the anxious attachment Style.
We're also explored how you can have these super powers, right?
Because, being able to spark BS, is great when you are
considering risk, right? You can be a high performer in
the workplace and that's a plus. However, the other side to that
is that you could be overworking or it could be coming from that
place of, am I good enough? The point of this is for you to
have an understanding Meaning of where you sit.
How it shows up? And what you can do about it.
Let's explore the avoidant attachment style.
So let's talk about the potential challenges of having
an avoidant attachment Style. It could be that you seek less
support from others. Number two, you could be
resistant to leadership and Authority.
Number three could be that you don't want to commit.
Number 4, you may avoid interpersonal closeness and
prefer to work alone think about the impact of that.
And number five, It may be that you experience more negative
emotions and there's less positivity.
Now, why would an avoidant attachment style show up in that
way? Well, let's think about the
benefits of that style, they can often be very quick to act.
They can be very productive and they can have real Focus.
Particularly if there's a deadline coming, or they want to
get the job done. And they can work independently,
not saying other styles will not were just highlighting what the
avoidant attachment style could look like.
Now the superpowers of this style, you work, well alone, you
can focus really well and finish the work.
So these elements are what make up the avoidant attachment
style. And we've looked at the
challenges and we've looked at the superpowers and let's think
about how that can show up. In your practice.
Could it be the GT rotors? You can hear.
I'm smiling with that, right? And then we have the
intersection between anxious and avoiding where we have the
disorganized type, which is between those two, right?
But those three that we've just talked about anxious avoidant
and disorganized they all sit within insecure attachment.
Lastly, we have The secure attachment style.
So what does this look like? It could be comfortable with,
and you're good at forming strong, bonds and relationships.
Number two, you could be least likely to have difficulty
completing tasks. Number three, better well-being,
few symptoms of illness. Number four, you could be more
trusting of others. and number five, Least likely to put off
work. Just want to get it done.
So let's think about the superpowers of the secure
attachment type that you can have a positive view of
co-workers leaders more trusting in Authority, less fear of
rejection, and failure and perceived as valuable to the
group or to UT. So now we've explored those.
Let's think about how does your attachment style affect you as
the social worker? How does that impact on your
self-care routine? How does that show up in your
practice? I've been Lisa Ram.
I am your host for the dear social worker.
Let's Talk podcast, this is the first episode and we're just
getting started, just getting started.
And I'd like to end with this question and I want you to go
straight onto my Spotify site and answer this question, click
interact and answer this question.
Have you ever had a time where you had unconditional love for
yourself? Thank you for listening to the
dear social worker. Let's Talk podcast.
I've been your host. Lisa ran a Kela.
Have a blessed day. Thank you for listening to the
dear social worker. Let's Talk podcast.
I've been your host. Lisa ran a Kela.
Have a blessed day.