1 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:12,720 Dear social worker, welcome to the first episode for 2024. 2 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:19,800 I'm excited for this brand new year and I'm so happy to be 3 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:22,200 welcoming the new year with you guys. 4 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:34,000 I want to ask you a question. How would your life look if you 5 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:42,120 stopped being in a hurry? I'm asking that because this 6 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:47,760 year I want us to be thinking about ways that we can slow 7 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:50,920 down. And as I was creating this 8 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:56,920 episode, there was an element that felt like the work is the 9 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,280 work, right? Social work will always be 10 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:05,000 social working. And there are moments where you 11 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:09,040 have to just dedicate all of your time and your energy to 12 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,400 what is happening and your cases, right? 13 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:20,120 So if that's the possibility, how can we navigate that? 14 00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:25,520 What control do you have? So it made me think of this 15 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:30,520 model, and it's a model I share in my coaching sessions all the 16 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:31,920 time. It's called the Sphere of 17 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:35,080 influence and it's three circles, similar to the 18 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:39,440 Brufenbrenner ecological model. The middle circle is green, it 19 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:43,680 has the word control, the 2nd circle is yellow, it has the 20 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:47,640 word influence, and the 3rd circle is red. 21 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:51,800 And that's named no control or no influence. 22 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:56,080 So starting with the red section, essentially that means 23 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:59,960 there's a situation or some circumstances that you as a 24 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:05,160 person have absolutely no control or no influence over. 25 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:10,080 Nothing at all. The yellow section is what you 26 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:13,920 can influence. So for example, writing your 27 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:19,400 your report for court, I'm writing your recommendations for 28 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,880 that. You have some influence over the 29 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,400 evidence that's been presented, right? 30 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,560 Not the outcome, not the outcome, the outcome is the red 31 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:30,560 area. But you have influence within 32 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:33,560 that report, you have influence in the way you've gathered 33 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:37,160 information, what you've done to get that information, who you've 34 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:42,080 spoken to etcetera, right. And the green area is what you 35 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:47,400 have control over. Now when you think of that 36 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:54,960 model, I what I thought let's match that model to attempting 37 00:02:54,960 --> 00:03:03,280 to slow down parts of our lives. Because in social work, 38 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,520 particularly in child protection, which is where I 39 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:09,880 spent over a decade, the pace is high. 40 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:16,640 Even in children, in care teams I've worked in, the pace is very 41 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:21,960 high and to an extent you have to match that pace, you have to 42 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:26,960 match those deadlines. So how can you, within that, 43 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:32,320 that mode of work in that system that we work within, how can we 44 00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:41,680 find places to slow down? And the other element is, why is 45 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:46,120 this important? Let's talk 46 00:03:56,200 --> 00:04:00,880 Welcome to season three of the Dear Social Worker podcast. 47 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:07,680 In March this year it's going to be the one year anniversary and 48 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:11,440 I'm going to be having a conference called the Empowering 49 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:16,240 Social Worker Conference happening in London in April. 50 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:20,440 Go straight to my website socialworkcoachinghub.com. 51 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:23,720 I would like to see every single one of you there because of 52 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:27,920 course we've got to celebrate the one year anniversary we've 53 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:32,600 got to. I'm also hosting several other 54 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:37,680 events next year we've got a social event happening 17th of 55 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:41,840 February in London. We've got the Christian Social 56 00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:46,280 Worker brunch happening in London and Birmingham as well, 57 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:51,640 so get involved, get onto the website and be part of the 58 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:54,480 social work coaching hub group. We've got a free membership 59 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,120 group. Just click on the website and 60 00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:01,840 you can be part of that. Can't wait to see you there. 61 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:16,320 When we talk about slowing down, often we think about mindfulness 62 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:21,360 and mindfulness practices. But if you're anything like me, 63 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:28,560 particularly in practice, mindfulness doesn't come easy 64 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:33,320 because you're used to the pace. So think of it like this. 65 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,400 In social work, you're working at a certain pace all the time, 66 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:43,040 and then the end of the day comes and then you just turn on 67 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:48,360 a switch to living mindfully. You just turn on the switch to 68 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:52,680 put some meditation on. I'm not so sure it works that 69 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:57,080 easily because you the body is still in some form of 70 00:05:57,080 --> 00:06:00,840 adrenaline, right? So when I was thinking about 71 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,480 this epithet, I was thinking about ways in which you can 72 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:08,160 control your green area from that model where you can control 73 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:13,360 the way in which or where you decide to slow down. 74 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,680 And I think this is where the master key is. 75 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:21,680 So my first question to you was how do you think your life would 76 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:26,360 look if you're not in a hurry? And my question to you now is 77 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:38,060 how does life look being slowed down now focusing on the yellow 78 00:06:38,060 --> 00:06:42,660 area, the area of of influence weaken from that yellow area. 79 00:06:42,660 --> 00:06:48,680 Think about the areas in our life where we could introduce a 80 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:52,040 slower pace. But this has to be done 81 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,920 correctly, right? As I said, you can't just jump 82 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:59,640 out of trying to find a missing teenager and finding them and 83 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,920 everything being OK. And you know, your whole day has 84 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:06,680 been focused on this teenager and then all of a sudden it's 85 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:16,200 like mindfulness, silence. And I think you may need to 86 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:20,120 practice the way in which you'd like to slow down what is 87 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:23,720 comfortable for you. So when we think of mindfulness, 88 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:30,040 for you, that might be silence, For others, it may be nature 89 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:34,960 going out for a walk. There may be people who like to 90 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:38,000 focus on their breath and grounding yourself in the 91 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:45,920 present moment, but I think you need to find a practice that is 92 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:51,960 comfortable for you that takes you a step away from the 93 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:57,200 constant rush. It may even be listening to this 94 00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:03,720 podcast. Another tip that I'm going to 95 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:09,120 share with you there is try your best to start multitasking. 96 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:15,040 So at work we know it's necessary at times. 97 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:22,840 At home you're in the green area, So what things could you 98 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:27,720 do to minimise the multitasking? Now, I'm not saying going cold 99 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:31,920 Turkey here, just actually putting something in place 100 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:36,240 that's quite small, a small win, and then you build from there 101 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:41,240 based on what works for you. So for example, you could, when 102 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:44,880 you get home, you put your personal mobile phone upstairs 103 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,800 in your bedroom while you're downstairs cooking your dinner 104 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:51,280 and eating dinner, and after that you go and get your phone. 105 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:54,320 Or you only get your phone when you're going to bed, for 106 00:08:54,320 --> 00:09:03,240 example, for example. OK, let's move on to this 107 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:10,040 constant double barrel word that requires attention. 108 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:16,680 Ongoing attention, because social workers are notorious for 109 00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:20,440 putting other needs before our own. 110 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:25,240 Your own. But what if we made self-care a 111 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,520 priority? What does that look like? 112 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:33,720 Just take a second and think about what does it look like to 113 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:37,320 prioritise yourself care, And what I mean by that is thinking 114 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:43,400 about it from your green area, what is within your control that 115 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:47,480 allows you to? Or you give yourself permission 116 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:56,240 for prioritising yourself care and what does that actually look 117 00:09:56,240 --> 00:10:00,000 like practically? Just visualise that for a moment 118 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:05,120 and anyone that says I don't want to work or not being at 119 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:08,080 work, we all know it's not an option to move along from that 120 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:21,280 vision. With that in mind. 121 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:25,760 That's something I would love for you to consider when you're 122 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:29,200 thinking about what do you want to achieve this year? 123 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:38,520 Now, if you don't know, I'm going to tell you now I'm going 124 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:44,560 to be hosting an online vision board pyjama party workshop. 125 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:53,160 I think it's key for us to think about how we're going to be 126 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:56,000 approaching this year. And when you do that in a 127 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:59,720 community in a shared space. Oh, I forgot I missed something 128 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:01,880 out. It's going to be a pyjama party. 129 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,400 Oh, it's going to be on a Sunday. 130 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,040 I'm going to tell you the date in a moment. 131 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:13,160 It's going to be on a Sunday. And my thought was, well, what 132 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:16,400 else are you going to be wearing on a Sunday when you're at home 133 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:24,000 at 4:00 in the afternoon? So, OK, we're making it a pyjama 134 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,360 party. I would love for you to join me. 135 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:32,120 That means everyone in Ireland, Germany, those of you in Africa, 136 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:35,400 Australia, all of you can be part of this and we can all meet 137 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,880 together. So it's going to be taking 138 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:42,400 place. It's going to be taking place on 139 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:51,920 Sunday the 14th of January, Sunday the 14th of January at 140 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:56,720 4:00 PM UK time. Tickets are now available. 141 00:11:56,720 --> 00:12:01,400 Just go straight to my website. You all send me Adm and I will 142 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:05,920 send you the link personally. And we are going to be joining 143 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:10,840 together online to place all of our visions, all of our 144 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:14,000 thoughts, everything we want to achieve this year, the person we 145 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:17,600 want to be this year, onto our vision board collectively in a 146 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:20,480 community. And those of you that have been 147 00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:25,360 coached by me before, you will have a discount. 148 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:28,080 So you'll have to contact me separately for the voucher code 149 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:32,760 for that back to the regular schedule programme. 150 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:37,480 The last thing I want you to think about is time management, 151 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:43,360 because usually we're quite reactive as social workers, 152 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:48,480 chasing times, chasing deadlines, feeling the pressure 153 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:56,280 of time. Now, we talked about how social 154 00:12:56,280 --> 00:13:03,720 work and the systems within it require you to respond. 155 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:06,840 It's a lot of crisis intervention. 156 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:10,360 We understand that. We respond to it accordingly, 157 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:14,840 yes. But going back to the model, if 158 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,240 we're thinking about what you can influence, what you can 159 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:22,400 control, that's where your life, your personal life comes in. 160 00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:24,800 That's when. When the laptop is closed, 161 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:31,000 That's the time that you may have more control over what do 162 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:35,120 you do with it. So by rethinking your 163 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:39,440 relationship with time, you may find that you can accomplish 164 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:45,360 more, or you can rest more, or you can find a sense of peace or 165 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:55,430 balance. How would your life look if you 166 00:13:55,430 --> 00:14:00,150 weren't in a hurry? Visualise it. 167 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:15,960 Come to the Vision Board party and implement the way you would 168 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:21,600 like to be this year, the slowed down version of you this year 169 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:31,280 and find joy in the challenge of of doing something different. 170 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:37,800 On that note, I am going to share with you some quotes. 171 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:44,720 And then for those of you who are part of the podcast 172 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:52,720 subscription group, I am going to be giving you another episode 173 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,360 in more detail focused on this topic. 174 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:02,760 Focus on the exact steps that you can take, the mindset 175 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:08,800 required to slow down this year and take more control of your 176 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,040 time now. There's going to be a few 177 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:16,160 changes to the way that I host this podcast this year and the 178 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:21,040 way that I have my coaching sessions this year and the kind 179 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:26,120 of services I'll be providing. I'll share that with you another 180 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:31,080 time. If you're not part of the 181 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:36,880 podcast subscription, why aren't you this podcasts? 182 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:40,440 A lot of you getting so much value from it and I received a 183 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,040 message and thank you for your message. 184 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:45,120 You know who you are. You sent me a message last week 185 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,800 about the Christmas Day episode saying that it was really 186 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,360 helpful for them and they really enjoyed it. 187 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:57,880 But if you've got the podcast subscription, it goes into 188 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:01,640 greater detail, giving you that little bit more support. 189 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:03,480 It's a bit more personal as well. 190 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:07,880 I share some more stories there if you'd like to be part of 191 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:10,160 that. Just click the link that's in 192 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:14,840 the show notes and you can have access to all of the episodes, 193 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:18,880 the exclusive episodes that are assigned to the podcast 194 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:23,440 subscription crew. So thank you to those that are 195 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,240 part of it. We will be doing more of that 196 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,320 this year and a lot of what we'll be focusing on this year 197 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:32,360 apart from today's episode, it will be focused more on social 198 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:35,960 work practice. That's all I'm going to share 199 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,560 for now. So let's move on to the quotes, 200 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:44,880 because I know sometimes it's so helpful to have quotes that just 201 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:49,160 get you to think. And this podcast, my hope is 202 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:53,120 that it just gets you to think and you are inspired and 203 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:56,200 empowered to take some action which is going to help benefit 204 00:16:56,200 --> 00:17:01,160 you. Quote number one, your first 205 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:05,000 thought in the morning should be thank you. 206 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:16,160 Take a step back and look at all those beautiful things that you 207 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:20,240 have. For me, I think that's a great 208 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,680 slowing down activity, a great way to start slowing down. 209 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:32,480 Life is very short and anxious for those who forget the past, 210 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:37,000 neglect the present, and fear the future. 211 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:45,040 I've chosen this quote because I think it speaks to three 212 00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:49,360 different people, and those three different people could be 213 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:53,520 in one person, right? You could have someone who 214 00:17:53,760 --> 00:18:01,120 forgets the past, disassociates someone who neglects the 215 00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:03,960 present. Your mind is always somewhere 216 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:08,240 else, and someone who fears the future. 217 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:19,800 Powerful Last quote I'm going to share with you is this time is 218 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:28,920 free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can 219 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:33,280 use it. You can't keep it, but you can 220 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:39,240 spend it. Once you've lost it, you can 221 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:45,840 never get it back. You can never get it back. 222 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:58,960 Hence why this year I'm inviting you to consider ways in which 223 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:05,560 you can slow down. What would your life look like 224 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:10,560 if you weren't in a hurry? God bless you and I'll see you 225 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:11,120 next week.