Good morning and welcome to Dear Social Worker Podcast, the
podcast that prioritises you, the person behind the title.
I'm your host, Lisa Ram, and today I am recording from my
mum's house because it's been Mother's Day weekend.
I mean, it's been an interesting week because we've had World
Book Day, International Women's Day and Mother's Day all in the
same week for us as social workers.
That's just an average day, isn't it?
So I want to talk about the concept of compassion today.
I've certainly observed a lot over the past few days.
I've been out for International Women's Day.
I was at church for Mother's Day, and I just wanted to share
some of these observations with you.
You know how we do. We like to talk to each other.
Just before I do that and step into podcast mode, I just want
to remind some of you who may not have seen or heard the
episode. The bonus episode that was sent
out on Friday, it's called Let Go and it's named that way
because I woke up with like a message that I just felt I
needed to share. So thank you to everyone who has
still getting over my cold. Thank you to everyone who has
listened to the episode and left a comment.
You know, I see all of the reviews that come in, so I just
want to thank you for that. For those that haven't listened,
I would highly recommend, highly recommend that you listen to
that episode. It's the most raw and unfiltered
episode I would say of this this podcast for the past.
We're heading to a year now at the end of this month.
Those of you who have not got your ticket for Empowering
Social Workers Conference, please don't message me and say
are there any tickets left when I say they're sold out.
Early birth tickets are now sold out, so we are on the home run.
So I would, if you want to come, go to
socialwork@coachinghub.com. Let me rephrase social Work
coaching hub.com/events to get your tickets.
Now let's talk about this concept of compassion.
But first I'm going to tell you a short story.
Whilst I was at church yesterday, all of the mothers,
which is usual, all of the mothers, received gifts from the
church. Just a small token and an
appreciation moment. The whole service really was was
about that and it was lovely to see all the mums and the
children and the children dedicating their poems and
letters to their mothers in front of the church.
It's such a joyous occasion and in our church we like what we,
what we like to call uniform. We wear a uniform so our uniform
colour, not literally like an army UU in the Caribbean, means
like a colour. So yesterday we were all wearing
pink and I'm telling you, pink is not really a colour I have in
my wardrobe. So that was an interesting buy.
But I did find a pink dress that I bought from time ago thinking,
yes, that might come in handy and it did.
So that that was good. I mean, it doesn't matter if you
don't wear pink. There was loads of people
wearing their own attire, but it's all been part of a group in
some cases. So that was a beautiful service.
But during that service there were many people who had lost
their mothers, love their grandmothers.
And whilst we were there, celebrating all the mothers that
were there and enjoying the speeches from the children to
the mothers and the sons, and you know all of that, we will
all joyous together. There was a whole group of
people where it wasn't a happy day for them.
And as I was leaving, I had a task that I needed to complete.
And so I left the main church hall, went into like the side
church hall to just rest my bag and my coat.
And then I went to do my task and come back.
But as I put down my bag and my coat, there were three ladies in
the in the in that space, all the tissues in their hands and
all the tears in their eyes, They had all left their mother
recently, and I'm talking about grown women, right?
So I gave them all a hug and I I stood with them for a moment
before, you know, I I went to do my task and in that moment all
that I could offer them was compassion.
In the midst of that, shortly after, my mum came to join me
because we were going to go out to afternoon tea and there was
this feeling of I bet those ladies would give their right
arm, literally, to go out afternoon tea with their
mothers. Compassion is that gentle force
that binds us together in empathy and understanding.
And whilst I don't have the full extent of understanding of their
pain and their love and their grief, I was able to offer
compassion. And sometimes your presence
alone is enough. No, I'm not saying that my
presence to these ladies was enough in that moment.
I'm. I'm not saying that at all.
I'm stepping away from that story for a moment, just to
interject this notion that presence can be very powerful.
And whilst there were people coming up to these ladies and
offering words of encouragement and quoting scripture to support
them and all of this stuff, I remember I was just stood there
with one of the ladies in in my arms.
I was just holding her and saying nothing.
And what came to me was sometimes for some people that
is just enough. And when I've experienced loss
and someone in church will come over to me, it's always the same
lady. She'll always come over to me,
she says, I'm not going to say anything.
I'm just going to give you a hug, you know.
And it got me thinking about how did Mother's Day link to us as
social workers? And I woke up with this word
compassion. And so now as social workers,
are we aware that some parents have passed away?
Let's be specific. Are we aware that those that you
are working with and supporting if they've lost their mother or
their grandmother? And if so, do we take a moment
to acknowledge that now? Admittedly, the dynamic in the
relationship may not allow for such a conversation or allow for
that compassion and empathy to be shown because equally you
know you are in their lives and it's likely they don't want you
in their lives. Yet within that you have these
days of the year, which is not a celebratory evolving for some.
So what do we do? At times, the dynamics of
existing relationships can present obstacles to extending
compassion. Sometimes all you can offer is a
sentence, you know, whether it's these underlying complexities of
the relationship social workers have with with parents
particularly. And I was talking with a friend
last week. She was sharing that she had a
child protection medical and she had to collect, she had to
collect mum and child to bring to the hospital.
And we were just talking about the dichotomy and the complexity
of that dynamic because the parent may in this case or not
be, they may be accused of the injury that's been seen on the
child. And we're asking this parent to
get into the car with us with their child and give consent to
a child protective medical. And we were just talking about
the complexities within that, the power dynamics within that.
And the friend I was talking to was expressing about the
consent, the complexity of consent that the parent gives
within a child protection medical cycle.
Shall we call it one of the fundamental aspects of
compassion? It's not just about the words
that are spoken, but also understanding the emotions that
are behind them at times. We're going to be required to
Createspace where those feelings are validated and their
experiences are honored. Even though as social workers we
may be seen as being the ones to create the distress for the
parent because we're involved in their lives, right?
Even though as social workers we understand that the bigger
picture is about being there for the child and making sure the
child is safe, we still have to interact with with parents.
And if they are in distress, if they are angry, it's you as a
social worker that that is helping support through that
time. And this is where that respect
comes in and lay the foundation for genuine support and
understanding. Sometimes, and I believe this
happens a lot in social work, Compassion and aptly invites us
to step outside of the confines of our own comfort zone and
extend ourselves in service to others can create that
interconnectedness, that rapport and that transcends the
boundaries of self-interest. You have to be careful of having
an ego as a social worker. I've seen many social workers
come and go over the years thinking that they know it all.
It's a dangerous place to be as a social worker in my view.
Confident, yes, but you are always, always learning.
Now, compassion isn't about being perfect, and I think those
that in quote think they know it all.
Want to project that perfection. It's really you need to think
about what's happening behind that.
But it's about showing up authentically with vulnerability
and humility and being willing to walk alongside others in
their journey, however uncertain or challenging it may be.
But as noted, as social workers, there's complexities within that
because it's likely we're offering that to someone who
doesn't want us there. But we're really put in a
position as social workers to kind of embrace the imperfect
relationship that we have to build to work with our children
and families. But underneath it all truly is
human connection. So I'm going to leave you with
this stuff. And just before I do, I want to
remind you, those of you who have not taken the risk to
burnout quiz, go to socialworkcoachinghub.com where
you can find out your archetype, which is what is your risk of
burning out. We always talk about prevention,
we always talk about what to do when you get there, but we never
talk about what are the characteristics that link to you
be more likely to burnout. So go to
socialworkcoachinghub.com, click the Risk of Burnout quiz and get
your results. And don't forget the Empowering
Social Workers Conference Saturday the 13th of April in
London. I want to see you all there.
We're going to be celebrating one year of my podcast.
It is super exciting. If you are listening on Apple,
leave a review. Click the five stars.
If you've got an extra couple of minutes, leave me a couple of
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And if you're listening on Spotify, I would love to hear
from you. Click Voice message and leave me
a voice message. Ask any questions throughout
social work month, which is this month.
I am going to be answering all of your questions, so leave me a
voice message on Spotify and get involved with the poll questions
that are put up for every single episode.
I want to hear from you because this podcast is about you,
right? So go to
socialworkcoachinghub.com for the quiz.
Go to socialworkcoachinghub.com/events
for the Empowering Social Workers Conference where the
early bird tickets are now gone. So we'll run through the
standard tickets. I'd love to see you there.
Let's wrap up this podcast by saying ultimately yes.
The essence of compassion lies in our capacity to see beyond
the surface and recognise the inherent humanity in each
person. It's through acts of kindness,
understanding, standing in solidarity with someone where
that's where we create compassion, where essentially no
one is left to navigate those emotional complexities alone.
So today, I want you to embrace the transformity, the
transformative power of compassion.
Remember your children and families who may not have had
the best day yesterday, and as far as you perfectly can be
there for others. They may even be colleagues that
did not have the best day yesterday.
Remember them today. Just a hug for some people will
do. Have a blessed week and I will
see you in the bonus episodes that are going to be throughout
the whole month. But of course I will always see
you on Monday morning. God bless.