1 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:12,680 Welcome to Dear Social Worker Let's Talk Podcast, the podcast 2 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:16,120 that prioritizes you, the person behind the title. 3 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:18,880 Social Worker. You already know me, but I'm 4 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:22,400 going to introduce myself again. I'm the host, Lisa Rand Edwards 5 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:25,400 and I'm here to encourage and inspire your personal 6 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,640 development, promote your wellbeing and leadership 7 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:32,330 development. I transition from over a decade 8 00:00:32,330 --> 00:00:35,850 in children's social work to founder of the social Work 9 00:00:35,850 --> 00:00:39,970 Coaching hub.com, where I offer Trauma Informed coaching, 10 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:44,690 leadership development, coaching books and events for social 11 00:00:44,690 --> 00:00:48,650 workers. Today's podcast is for all 12 00:00:48,850 --> 00:00:52,810 social workers, even if you're just thinking about entering the 13 00:00:52,810 --> 00:00:57,340 social work field. And this is episode 15 and it's 14 00:00:57,340 --> 00:01:01,940 untitled because it we are having a very, very special 15 00:01:01,940 --> 00:01:05,019 guest today. I've never done this before. 16 00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:08,460 So this is going to be exciting for all of you today who are 17 00:01:08,460 --> 00:01:12,420 going to be listening because we have the outspoken, the 18 00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:17,580 talented, the hat wearing true brother of mine who we've met 19 00:01:17,580 --> 00:01:20,620 many years ago in contact. And as you'll see, I'll be 20 00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:22,780 wearing my hat to represent you today. 21 00:01:23,140 --> 00:01:26,620 We have the resilience, coach Jamie. 22 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:29,850 Well, what an introduction. There's no pressure to live up 23 00:01:29,850 --> 00:01:32,610 to it or anything. Appreciate that. 24 00:01:32,610 --> 00:01:35,650 Thank you so much. It's great to have you here, 25 00:01:35,650 --> 00:01:39,130 Jamie, and thank you for taking time out to to speak with all of 26 00:01:39,130 --> 00:01:41,610 us today with our social work community. 27 00:01:42,250 --> 00:01:45,450 I reached out to Jamie and said, I need you, Jamie, because our 28 00:01:45,450 --> 00:01:49,290 social workers out here, we are really up against it. 29 00:01:49,290 --> 00:01:51,250 You know, we're up against it for mental health. 30 00:01:51,580 --> 00:01:54,020 We're up against it in terms of how we're managing our 31 00:01:54,020 --> 00:01:55,980 well-being. We're up against in terms of our 32 00:01:55,980 --> 00:01:58,660 mindset. And there's so many social 33 00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:01,340 workers reaching out to me saying, you know, your podcast 34 00:02:01,340 --> 00:02:04,300 has really helped me. It's given me an outlet for my 35 00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:06,020 anxiety. It's really helped me think 36 00:02:06,020 --> 00:02:09,180 about this or think about that. So I was like, you know 37 00:02:09,180 --> 00:02:12,300 something? What we need to do is have 38 00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:16,780 somebody on here who is known as a motivational speaker to 39 00:02:16,860 --> 00:02:21,500 encourage and inspire you. Welcome to the DX Social. 40 00:02:22,220 --> 00:02:25,260 There we go. Well, I go around the country 41 00:02:25,260 --> 00:02:28,740 and I speak in many, many different settings, environments 42 00:02:28,740 --> 00:02:30,340 into many different organizations. 43 00:02:30,620 --> 00:02:33,020 One day I can be speaking to primary school children, 44 00:02:33,180 --> 00:02:35,660 comprehensive school children. The very next day I can be 45 00:02:35,660 --> 00:02:38,780 speaking to murderers, rapists, Category A, sex offenders in a 46 00:02:38,780 --> 00:02:40,900 prison. So I go into schools, colleges, 47 00:02:40,900 --> 00:02:43,820 universities, youth offender institutes, prisons. 48 00:02:43,820 --> 00:02:45,220 I will go into the corporate world. 49 00:02:45,220 --> 00:02:47,900 I go into the sports. Professional sports field. 50 00:02:48,220 --> 00:02:51,580 And what I realize is, is I'm dealing with human beings, but 51 00:02:51,580 --> 00:02:54,260 there's a common thread that runs along a lot of them. 52 00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:58,500 Now when I'm looking in schools and I'm seeing the teachers 53 00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:01,380 really, really suffer in this particular field, I'm seeing 54 00:03:01,380 --> 00:03:03,940 social workers that are truly, truly suffering. 55 00:03:03,940 --> 00:03:06,860 When I speak to the police, when I speak to paramedics, when I 56 00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:09,140 you know you, you see it in many, many different 57 00:03:09,140 --> 00:03:11,860 demographics. So there is this element of 58 00:03:11,860 --> 00:03:14,140 suffering. There's a pressure that's 59 00:03:14,140 --> 00:03:18,340 weighing down on us that I would say we've never experienced 60 00:03:18,340 --> 00:03:21,300 before because there's things that happening that we've never 61 00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:23,220 experienced before. It's like when I speak to the 62 00:03:23,220 --> 00:03:26,380 youngsters in like schools and colleges and universities, I say 63 00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:29,460 listen, I wouldn't want to be a teenager in today's day and age 64 00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:32,860 for love nor money. Because back in the day that I, 65 00:03:33,020 --> 00:03:35,940 I had the problems, like we had the problems back in the day. 66 00:03:35,940 --> 00:03:38,540 But we had this resilience and it was kind of like an even 67 00:03:38,540 --> 00:03:40,900 fight. Nowadays we've got this 68 00:03:40,900 --> 00:03:43,020 heightened pressure. That's on us. 69 00:03:43,060 --> 00:03:45,860 Everything that's on us. Everything to do with 70 00:03:46,140 --> 00:03:51,180 self-image, paranoia, the stuff that messes with our well beings 71 00:03:51,380 --> 00:03:55,240 social media. Technology stuff, everything 72 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:58,600 that messes with our, with our emotional, psychological and 73 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:02,080 mental well-being has gone up. But what I'm seeing is this 74 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,400 natural old school dogged resilience that our nans and our 75 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:08,120 granddads, our moms and dads had have all of a sudden dropped. 76 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:11,040 So there's the problem. So I can't do anything about 77 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:14,280 today's day and age like what's in society and what we're 78 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,600 dealing with. But that's why I help people 79 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,959 like, bring up their resilience. And what's my background? 80 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:22,120 My background is I first got into speaking because back in 81 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:24,680 2012. My 19 year old nephew was 82 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:29,680 murdered by by a 14 year old boy and I decided to use my talent, 83 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:32,440 my words to go out there and use my words to help people. 84 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:36,480 Now I was getting feedback back from the people that I was 85 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:39,000 speaking to about how it was helping with their emotional and 86 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:42,080 mental well-being. So the emotional and mental 87 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,880 well-being element took on extra significance for me. 88 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:48,440 When back in 2020, during the first big lockdowns, the 89 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:51,040 youngest of my two older sisters took her own life during 90 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:54,440 lockdown. So I I know what this thing is 91 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,640 now, and this is what I need to bring to people. 92 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:01,000 I need to bring to people the element of listen, this is, this 93 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,600 is no joke. This is no joke. 94 00:05:03,510 --> 00:05:06,030 In what we're dealing with, like there is the thing out there, 95 00:05:06,310 --> 00:05:09,470 emotional, psychological and mental. well-being. 96 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,830 Like there are testing challenges that are being bought 97 00:05:11,830 --> 00:05:14,990 to us that wants to take us out of the game and really, really 98 00:05:14,990 --> 00:05:16,790 take us down. It's like fighting a massive 99 00:05:16,790 --> 00:05:20,470 opponent in the boxing ring and and and and it wants to take our 100 00:05:20,470 --> 00:05:22,950 head off. So we have to have this 101 00:05:22,950 --> 00:05:26,150 authentic way of thinking of right, what what? 102 00:05:26,150 --> 00:05:28,210 What is it? What is it I'm up against? 103 00:05:28,890 --> 00:05:32,570 I need to put it into context. I need to know who my opponent 104 00:05:32,570 --> 00:05:36,730 is, but I need to know that I am literally in the fight and and I 105 00:05:36,730 --> 00:05:40,330 can fight back against it. That's why you have to activate 106 00:05:40,330 --> 00:05:42,170 your dog, right? You have to activate the dog 107 00:05:42,170 --> 00:05:44,370 inside you. Now, everybody loves a loyal 108 00:05:44,370 --> 00:05:46,330 Labrador. Everybody loves a little cute. 109 00:05:46,370 --> 00:05:48,370 Wow, everybody loves the big fluffy Chows. 110 00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:52,450 But what you have to do is you have to activate the malanoid 111 00:05:52,450 --> 00:05:54,770 that's inside you. Now this thing is inside you. 112 00:05:54,770 --> 00:05:57,010 Why? Because we come from a blood. 113 00:05:57,090 --> 00:06:00,130 Line of Malinois, right. We have generations that have 114 00:06:00,130 --> 00:06:02,330 gone through many, many difficult things. 115 00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:06,130 It's like we may find ourselves sometimes in a trench like we're 116 00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:08,610 we're in the trenches. Like I've literally heard that 117 00:06:08,850 --> 00:06:11,250 that that that terminology used so much. 118 00:06:11,410 --> 00:06:15,170 But we have to remember that there are family members that 119 00:06:15,170 --> 00:06:18,450 literally back in the days, like in the 1930s and the 40s that 120 00:06:18,450 --> 00:06:22,490 were literally in the trenches. Now the trenches it's not. 121 00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:25,490 It's not a glitzy and glamorous environment in which to be in. 122 00:06:25,830 --> 00:06:28,990 But that place gives us an opportunity. 123 00:06:28,990 --> 00:06:32,510 It's an opportunity to win battles, to win wars. 124 00:06:32,630 --> 00:06:34,910 And it was the place where heroes were made. 125 00:06:34,910 --> 00:06:39,910 So if you find yourself in a particular trench that you you, 126 00:06:40,110 --> 00:06:42,910 you have to know that it's an opportunity to win a battle, to 127 00:06:42,910 --> 00:06:45,830 win a war and to literally become a hero. 128 00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:48,790 So by activating this dog, activating this Malinois. 129 00:06:48,790 --> 00:06:52,070 Now, I don't know whether you've ever seen this dog or videos of 130 00:06:52,070 --> 00:06:53,870 this dog. There's, there's, there's videos 131 00:06:53,870 --> 00:06:55,590 on YouTube, there's videos on the Internet of A. 132 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:58,790 Guy and he's bent over, stood in front of a 20 foot wall and this 133 00:06:58,790 --> 00:07:00,870 dog jumps on his back and scales the wall. 134 00:07:00,870 --> 00:07:03,150 This thing is like a missile on four legs. 135 00:07:03,350 --> 00:07:06,310 It will literally fly across lakes, fly across rivers. 136 00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:09,510 It's so it's so strong. It's not the biggest of dogs but 137 00:07:09,510 --> 00:07:12,430 it will takedown a 17 stone man like he's a rag doll. 138 00:07:12,430 --> 00:07:17,270 So this is what you have to have to activate because this problem 139 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,630 that's coming to you like this anxiety, this worry, this 140 00:07:19,630 --> 00:07:21,190 stress. Like when it's when when it's 141 00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:23,390 crumpling your chest. When it's literally grabbing 142 00:07:23,390 --> 00:07:25,070 your throat. When you're literally gasping 143 00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:25,630 for air. When you. 144 00:07:25,790 --> 00:07:28,750 Think that there's no hope when you think that everything around 145 00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:31,030 you is dark and and it's not going to get any better. 146 00:07:31,230 --> 00:07:34,190 You need to know that you need to fight back against this 147 00:07:34,190 --> 00:07:35,790 thing. You can't go into it half 148 00:07:35,790 --> 00:07:38,710 hearted, you can't go for it. Now there's this video that's on 149 00:07:38,710 --> 00:07:42,310 YouTube that I uses like an analogy to this now it's a it's 150 00:07:42,430 --> 00:07:45,310 a it's a group of these hunters in America and they've got these 151 00:07:45,310 --> 00:07:48,950 pack of dogs and they've got this massive wild boar backed up 152 00:07:48,950 --> 00:07:51,590 against, backed up against the riverbed right, right. 153 00:07:51,670 --> 00:07:54,270 Backed up against the riverbank and it's in shallow water and 154 00:07:54,270 --> 00:07:55,710 these three dogs are surrounding. 155 00:07:55,790 --> 00:07:58,310 Ending this wild boar and they're barking a lot, they're 156 00:07:58,310 --> 00:08:01,430 making a lot of noise. They're kind of just nipping at 157 00:08:01,430 --> 00:08:04,830 the at the boars feet, it's nipping at his ears, it's 158 00:08:04,830 --> 00:08:06,990 nipping at his side. But they're not doing what 159 00:08:06,990 --> 00:08:09,350 they're supposed to do. And the hunters get a little 160 00:08:09,390 --> 00:08:10,990 bit, a little bit frustrated with this. 161 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:13,910 And what they do is they let the Pitbull go and the Pitbull goes 162 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:17,270 like laser guided focus bang in one. 163 00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:21,980 In in in One Direction like an arrow and it goes bang straight 164 00:08:21,980 --> 00:08:24,620 around the bore stroke. It takes it down within 15 165 00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:26,060 seconds and it gets the job done. 166 00:08:26,260 --> 00:08:29,340 Why do I use this? I use this because there is 167 00:08:29,340 --> 00:08:32,700 something that's in front of you that needs to be taken down or 168 00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:35,460 it will take you out. It will literally knock you out 169 00:08:35,460 --> 00:08:37,260 and take you down, take you out of the game. 170 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,600 So you need to go at it like a laser guided focus. 171 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:43,080 Don't run away from the problem. Know that it's there. 172 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:45,520 Know that this, that this opponent has turned up. 173 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:49,320 Respect it, but do not fear it. Because a lot of people go into 174 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:53,120 that state of fear, false evidence appearing, real, false 175 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,600 evidence appearing right, and they're fearful of this thing. 176 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:57,480 You have to respect it. Absolutely. 177 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,640 Because it's turned up. It's turned up for a Ding Dong, 178 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,800 it's turned up for a fight, but you need to run towards it and 179 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,080 you need to grab it by the throat and you need to take it 180 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,480 down quickly. You need to take it. 181 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:10,080 Out of the game. So yeah, these problems and 182 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:13,560 these stresses, I know that people were up against them, but 183 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,840 a lot of people will, will, will won't fight back. 184 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:21,560 They, they, they want to stay in the Labrador mode, they want to 185 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,840 stay in the Chihuahua mode or the Chow mode. 186 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:26,800 But you need to activate this Malinois because you need to 187 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,640 understand, remember where you come from, a bloodline of 188 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,840 malinois that have been through problems and you've got it 189 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,080 inside you. You just need to activate it. 190 00:09:36,340 --> 00:09:40,900 On that note, they mean the fire started already, that I hadn't 191 00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:42,580 even asked a question. Really. 192 00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:46,180 As I said, introduce yourself. This is why I've got Jamie here, 193 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:49,940 because there's moments in time, as also social workers, we know. 194 00:09:50,180 --> 00:09:52,420 And if you've been listening to me, you know I've got over 10 195 00:09:52,420 --> 00:09:54,180 years working with local authorities. 196 00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:59,300 We need this kind of motivation. We need this kind of 197 00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:01,820 inspiration. And I know that Jamie is the man 198 00:10:01,820 --> 00:10:02,900 for the job. I want to. 199 00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:06,240 I want to pick a few things out of what you said there. 200 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:12,640 I'm just going to mention one name and one thing that this 201 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:18,240 person mentions. Doctor Eric Thomas. 202 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,520 Wow. Now Jamie and I, we, we've 203 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:26,480 bonded under over several things, but the one thing we do 204 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:29,360 we talk about is Doctor Eric Thomas. 205 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:32,240 If you haven't heard and you don't know, you need to get to 206 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:35,240 know. He trained me directly to be one 207 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:39,160 of his, what they call extreme execution coaches, and I was the 208 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,920 first in the UK to be trained by him. 209 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:45,800 But the point I'm making here is around the word execution, 210 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:48,040 because that was the word that came out when you were speaking 211 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,690 there. Because for social workers and 212 00:10:51,690 --> 00:10:53,850 getting a little bit into detail, into some of the things 213 00:10:53,850 --> 00:10:56,930 we face, there's always something to do, right? 214 00:10:56,930 --> 00:10:58,850 There's always case notes to write up. 215 00:10:59,210 --> 00:11:01,250 There's always a call that needs to be made. 216 00:11:01,250 --> 00:11:04,570 There's always an e-mail to respond to and that creates a 217 00:11:04,570 --> 00:11:08,010 lot of stress and overwhelm to an extent, of course, that 218 00:11:08,090 --> 00:11:12,170 naturally that's understandable, but something that you mentioned 219 00:11:12,170 --> 00:11:16,410 there around fear and false evidence appearing real fear. 220 00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:24,140 There's something about fear being a undercurrent in the 221 00:11:24,140 --> 00:11:27,260 social work field for various reasons. 222 00:11:27,380 --> 00:11:29,300 It could be that you've come up against a particular 223 00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:32,780 professional or a parent or you you've received threats that it 224 00:11:32,780 --> 00:11:35,700 could be anything, right? But what I want to focus on 225 00:11:35,700 --> 00:11:38,380 today is about the mindset shift. 226 00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:41,980 The mindset shift. And those are conversations you 227 00:11:41,980 --> 00:11:44,340 and I have all the time, Jamie, about mindset. 228 00:11:45,220 --> 00:11:50,000 Let's think about and let's let's think about how we can 229 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:54,800 encourage the social workers through mindset shifts. 230 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:58,720 And what have you seen through your resilience coaching around 231 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:02,680 people that are in a state of fear, a place of fear, a place 232 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:06,760 of lack. You're needing to move and shift 233 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:11,640 their mindset, as you say to get that dog to execute, as that's 234 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:15,640 Eric Thomas would say. Well, I I kind of bring a. 235 00:12:16,890 --> 00:12:20,210 Within the sporting field you will hear a terminology a bit of 236 00:12:20,210 --> 00:12:24,490 terminology or a phrase used a lot But also in like the 237 00:12:24,490 --> 00:12:27,130 corporate world to do with performance that you need to 238 00:12:27,130 --> 00:12:29,450 bring your A game right. You need to bring your A game. 239 00:12:29,610 --> 00:12:32,170 But I talk to people about bringing their our game right 240 00:12:32,170 --> 00:12:34,770 and that our game really does help them right with this 241 00:12:34,770 --> 00:12:37,730 mindset shift and it stands for different things. 242 00:12:37,730 --> 00:12:42,090 So the are is the reason, the reason you have to remember the 243 00:12:42,090 --> 00:12:45,570 reason why you are doing this, what what you are doing this for 244 00:12:45,770 --> 00:12:47,970 because me I'm very. Passionate about protecting the 245 00:12:47,970 --> 00:12:51,090 young ones, protecting their minds, protecting their hearts, 246 00:12:51,210 --> 00:12:53,090 protecting their emotions, their well-being. 247 00:12:53,090 --> 00:12:58,170 Because I I'm, I'm in a position where I'm a grown adult and I'd 248 00:12:58,170 --> 00:13:00,410 like to protect the younger ones, the weaker ones, the 249 00:13:00,410 --> 00:13:02,450 littler ones. It's always been inside me so. 250 00:13:02,810 --> 00:13:04,610 That, that, that. There is a reason. 251 00:13:04,610 --> 00:13:07,450 You have to remember the reason why you're doing this, why you 252 00:13:07,450 --> 00:13:10,530 have to make that extra call. Why you have to fill in that 253 00:13:10,530 --> 00:13:12,730 form. Why you chose this job in the 254 00:13:12,730 --> 00:13:14,890 1st place. Why, why, What did that? 255 00:13:14,970 --> 00:13:17,650 And the reason is the protection, the protection of 256 00:13:17,650 --> 00:13:20,250 the little one, protection of the younger ones, protection of 257 00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:22,210 the vulnerable, protection of the weak. 258 00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:26,130 You, you, you literally chose this profession back in the day 259 00:13:26,130 --> 00:13:28,450 for a reason. Don't forget that reason. 260 00:13:28,610 --> 00:13:32,170 It's why people like when when you look at relationships and 261 00:13:32,170 --> 00:13:34,090 you look at. Marriage is kind of breaking up 262 00:13:34,330 --> 00:13:35,850 now. I've been through this twice, 263 00:13:35,850 --> 00:13:38,890 I've been through two divorces, so I can speak from personal 264 00:13:38,890 --> 00:13:41,610 experience. But people lose the sight of why 265 00:13:41,610 --> 00:13:45,290 they fell in love at the 1st in in the 1st place and why you 266 00:13:45,290 --> 00:13:47,850 love that person so much and all their good qualities. 267 00:13:47,850 --> 00:13:49,930 Like you're just focusing on the here and now, and you're 268 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:53,650 forgetting to remember so. So remember your reason. 269 00:13:54,190 --> 00:13:57,430 And no matter how hard things get for me and I have to get up 270 00:13:57,470 --> 00:14:00,910 and I have to perform, I have to go and do 5-1 hour talks in a 271 00:14:00,910 --> 00:14:02,950 day. And and literally I will say to 272 00:14:02,950 --> 00:14:05,630 people, listen, the last five minutes of the 5th talk will 273 00:14:05,750 --> 00:14:08,270 will still have the same amount of energy, the same amount of 274 00:14:08,270 --> 00:14:11,470 passion and fire as the 1st 5 minutes of the first talk. 275 00:14:11,670 --> 00:14:14,110 I cannot let it slip. No matter what I'm going 276 00:14:14,110 --> 00:14:16,150 through, no matter what heartbreak I've got, no matter 277 00:14:16,150 --> 00:14:18,830 what grief is going through me, no matter how many miles I've 278 00:14:18,830 --> 00:14:22,410 traveled, all that stuff. Is your form, all that? 279 00:14:22,770 --> 00:14:25,250 All that stuff that I've got is that phone call you've got to 280 00:14:25,250 --> 00:14:28,210 make. Listen, it's it's a it's a you. 281 00:14:28,570 --> 00:14:32,610 You're putting forward a reason as to why you feel down and 282 00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:35,530 exhausted. But it is no excuse if your mind 283 00:14:35,530 --> 00:14:38,450 still works, your arms work, your heart still pumping, 284 00:14:38,690 --> 00:14:40,290 listen, you've still got air in your lungs. 285 00:14:40,450 --> 00:14:44,010 You can get that thing done. And the reason why I still 286 00:14:44,010 --> 00:14:46,890 perform is is, is is. My reasons are strong. 287 00:14:47,130 --> 00:14:50,810 My children I've, I've, I've got to show them by my action. 288 00:14:51,210 --> 00:14:52,810 That they can do exactly the same. 289 00:14:52,810 --> 00:14:55,290 Because this may sound silly coming from a professional 290 00:14:55,290 --> 00:14:57,090 public speaker, but talk is cheap. 291 00:14:57,370 --> 00:15:02,010 You have to back it up with your act, your words. 292 00:15:02,170 --> 00:15:07,530 So your reason, the reason, the person that has a strong enough 293 00:15:07,530 --> 00:15:12,650 reason will overcome any problem perfectly, said Jamie. 294 00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:15,530 Perfectly said. I'm going to throw something in 295 00:15:15,530 --> 00:15:19,700 here that you'll you'll resonate with, Excuse me? 296 00:15:19,980 --> 00:15:21,820 You'll resonate with for several reasons. 297 00:15:22,980 --> 00:15:26,780 The reason some social workers come into certain certainly with 298 00:15:26,780 --> 00:15:30,620 the social workers that I coach particularly, there is an inner 299 00:15:30,620 --> 00:15:35,140 child that they're protecting and that's why they've ended up 300 00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:38,500 in the social work role. And whilst they're out there 301 00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:42,460 protecting others, there's another element where in essence 302 00:15:42,460 --> 00:15:46,580 they are re parenting and parenting their inner child. 303 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,840 And I know you've had experience of of that and that's how you 304 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:53,360 had your title The Grief Preacher in in the early days of 305 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,160 you speaking and I'll know you still do that. 306 00:15:55,680 --> 00:16:00,880 What's your take on people that have perhaps lost their reason? 307 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:06,120 Because the reason actually is about them finding a space of 308 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:11,920 healing through the the work, yeah. 309 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:15,960 I mean, although they may have forgot their reason. 310 00:16:17,170 --> 00:16:19,810 It still doesn't give the excuse not to find it. 311 00:16:21,170 --> 00:16:22,610 Like is that. Yeah, it may. 312 00:16:22,650 --> 00:16:24,610 It may take a little bit of work, right. 313 00:16:24,610 --> 00:16:27,810 And I use this analogy that if there was, if there was like, 314 00:16:28,850 --> 00:16:31,690 listen, if there was a jewelry store, nobody in it but 315 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:33,210 literally, right. It's all kitted out. 316 00:16:33,210 --> 00:16:35,610 It's still got all the products in it but there. 317 00:16:35,650 --> 00:16:37,610 But no one, but no one was inside it. 318 00:16:37,610 --> 00:16:40,090 And there was a big massive Wrecking Ball like a big crane 319 00:16:40,090 --> 00:16:43,050 next to it, and that building was going to be demolished and 320 00:16:43,050 --> 00:16:47,010 it literally swung the ball and it smashed it, it and. 321 00:16:47,170 --> 00:16:52,490 And it leveled the building, and it's totally destroyed now. 322 00:16:52,610 --> 00:16:54,250 No one was in it. No one was hurt. 323 00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:58,370 But if that pile of rubble was there, would you go searching 324 00:16:58,370 --> 00:17:01,930 through the rubble, all the debris, to find the diamonds 325 00:17:01,930 --> 00:17:03,290 that are in there? Of course you would. 326 00:17:03,860 --> 00:17:07,260 You, you might have to hurt yourself, cut yourself. 327 00:17:07,380 --> 00:17:10,460 You may get injured lifting up all the bricks, lifting up all 328 00:17:10,460 --> 00:17:12,220 the debris, lifting up all the carnage. 329 00:17:12,380 --> 00:17:15,300 But you'll find that diamond that's worth 50 grand. 330 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:18,260 You'll find them diamonds that are, that are valuable and worth 331 00:17:18,260 --> 00:17:20,619 so much money. So you will go through. 332 00:17:20,619 --> 00:17:24,420 And sometimes in life, if you forgot the reason, you have to 333 00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:26,780 dig, you have to dig deep. You have to dig through the 334 00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:29,300 debris in order to find the diamond and that diamond. 335 00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:31,660 The reason? Is priceless. 336 00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:34,460 The reason is priceless. So how do they dig? 337 00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:36,340 How do they dig through the debris? 338 00:17:36,340 --> 00:17:38,580 Because I know there'll be some social workers thinking, you've 339 00:17:38,580 --> 00:17:41,380 got no idea. I've got 200 e-mail unanswered 340 00:17:41,380 --> 00:17:43,420 emails here. How do I dig? 341 00:17:44,180 --> 00:17:46,780 Well, they literally look within themselves and they ask 342 00:17:46,780 --> 00:17:49,380 themselves the questions. What's important to you? 343 00:17:49,660 --> 00:17:52,100 Why? Listen, they they they know why 344 00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:54,020 they started this job in the first place. 345 00:17:54,380 --> 00:17:57,060 Did they did they think that they were going to come into 346 00:17:57,060 --> 00:18:00,060 this job and they were only going to answer 5 emails a day? 347 00:18:00,340 --> 00:18:02,660 Did they did they think they were only going to take 10 348 00:18:02,660 --> 00:18:04,820 emails a day? And I, and I don't want this to 349 00:18:04,820 --> 00:18:07,420 sound harsh, but a lot of people, you know, what you're 350 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:10,100 getting into, you know, this kind of environment, you know 351 00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:13,420 that it's like people that want to defend the country they 352 00:18:13,420 --> 00:18:15,580 wanted, they they want to bat when they want to defend a 353 00:18:15,580 --> 00:18:18,740 country, but then go in going going into that environment and 354 00:18:18,740 --> 00:18:20,140 saying, oh, there's bullets flying. 355 00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:21,100 I didn't. I didn't. 356 00:18:21,140 --> 00:18:22,700 I didn't want that. I didn't want that. 357 00:18:23,190 --> 00:18:27,150 So you have to literally this the simple questions ask 358 00:18:27,150 --> 00:18:29,430 yourself why you started this back in the day. 359 00:18:29,790 --> 00:18:32,590 How did it make you feel? Why did you want it so much? 360 00:18:32,750 --> 00:18:36,030 What's important to you in life? Because because we're not 361 00:18:36,030 --> 00:18:38,110 talking to zombies here. Like we're not talking to people 362 00:18:38,110 --> 00:18:42,110 that haven't got a life. Life experiences things that 363 00:18:42,110 --> 00:18:45,190 they love, things that they don't care about, or people that 364 00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:50,390 they care about, that those that that there is, is, is is the 365 00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:54,840 content of. Of the answers that you've got, 366 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,640 that that there's the answers. That's the content need. 367 00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:02,080 So why did I start this? Who's important to me? 368 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,280 What's important to me? What's my passion? 369 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,760 Who is relying on me? Because I say that I've got to 370 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,200 go out there and I've got to do these talks and I've got to turn 371 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,360 up because there are people in the future that are relying on 372 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:17,190 me. I've never pause, pause, pause. 373 00:19:17,470 --> 00:19:19,270 You. You've got a pause there. 374 00:19:19,550 --> 00:19:23,910 There's people in the future that are relying on you. 375 00:19:24,510 --> 00:19:26,110 Elaborate. Elaborate. 376 00:19:26,590 --> 00:19:29,990 There's there's there's some little kids in a primary school 377 00:19:29,990 --> 00:19:33,750 somewhere that I've never heard of, Jamie Dean, never heard of 378 00:19:33,750 --> 00:19:36,630 the grief preacher that I've never heard of this man, and 379 00:19:36,630 --> 00:19:39,950 they are going through the trenches, but I'm going to be 380 00:19:39,950 --> 00:19:42,230 going to their school in the future. 381 00:19:42,540 --> 00:19:44,260 And I'm going to go and I'm going to change the game. 382 00:19:44,260 --> 00:19:47,220 Why? Because what drives me, what 383 00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:50,100 what? What drives me is the G of the 384 00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:53,660 game that that I have to give. You have to give of yourself, no 385 00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,460 matter if you don't feel like giving. 386 00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:58,940 And I can remember about 10 months after my nephew was 387 00:19:58,940 --> 00:20:01,780 killed that there was a talk that I was going to do and it 388 00:20:01,780 --> 00:20:02,940 was coming up. It was booked in. 389 00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:05,300 But I wasn't feeling it this day because I was still going 390 00:20:05,340 --> 00:20:06,980 through the darkness. I was still in the pit. 391 00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:10,060 I was still suffering from post traumatic stress disorder, all 392 00:20:10,060 --> 00:20:11,380 this stuff. And I was suffering from 393 00:20:11,380 --> 00:20:12,460 hardship. But I. 394 00:20:12,660 --> 00:20:14,300 Up I went and done this talk. Right? 395 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:18,100 I've done 3/1 hour talks on this particular day for 14 year olds 396 00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:24,300 that were going to do their exams and I got the feedback 397 00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:27,420 back from this one particular student that was the first of 398 00:20:27,420 --> 00:20:30,020 its kind. I have got many, many more since 399 00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:32,620 just like it, but it blew the roof off of me. 400 00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:37,020 It blew my mind because at the end of his e-mail he said thank 401 00:20:37,020 --> 00:20:38,740 you for everything you said today. 402 00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:41,420 You've not only changed my life, but you saved it. 403 00:20:41,420 --> 00:20:44,940 Because tonight I was planning on taking my own life and you've 404 00:20:44,940 --> 00:20:48,020 stopped me today. So Can you imagine if I didn't 405 00:20:48,060 --> 00:20:51,020 turn up just because I was exhausted and because I was 406 00:20:51,020 --> 00:20:54,060 going through the darkness and because I didn't feel like I had 407 00:20:54,060 --> 00:20:57,740 to give of myself at that time and I didn't know that that boy 408 00:20:57,740 --> 00:21:01,620 was relying on me. So there is this element that 409 00:21:01,740 --> 00:21:04,380 you, you, you, you have to understand that you're in a 410 00:21:04,380 --> 00:21:08,090 position of a real blessing. A blessing. 411 00:21:08,290 --> 00:21:11,250 It is hard. No, no, no blessing comes 412 00:21:11,250 --> 00:21:14,330 without its hardship. No, no positive comes without 413 00:21:14,330 --> 00:21:17,370 its negative. In youth, yin Yang sign, the 414 00:21:17,370 --> 00:21:20,530 black and the white and and and on each side you've also got a 415 00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:24,850 little dot of the corresponding color in any look for the 416 00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:26,370 positive. Yeah, that's amazing. 417 00:21:26,370 --> 00:21:27,010 That's it. That's it. 418 00:21:27,010 --> 00:21:28,210 That's the good way of looking at things. 419 00:21:28,210 --> 00:21:31,610 But what you have to understand is in any positive, there is an 420 00:21:31,610 --> 00:21:35,050 element of negative, an element of struggle. 421 00:21:35,050 --> 00:21:40,130 Nothing is 100% positive. So in this job where you are 422 00:21:40,130 --> 00:21:41,770 protecting the week, where you're protecting the 423 00:21:41,770 --> 00:21:43,690 vulnerable, where you're looking after their well-being, where 424 00:21:43,690 --> 00:21:46,250 you're pulling, you're going to be pulling the little ones out 425 00:21:46,250 --> 00:21:48,970 the trenches. Yes, that's an unbelievable 426 00:21:48,970 --> 00:21:51,090 blessing. You're like a superhero. 427 00:21:51,290 --> 00:21:54,130 You might not wear a Cape, you might not wear a mask, and you 428 00:21:54,250 --> 00:21:56,810 most certainly might not wear your underwear outside your 429 00:21:56,810 --> 00:21:58,730 tights. But that doesn't mean to say 430 00:21:58,730 --> 00:22:01,050 that you are not a superhero. You need you. 431 00:22:01,130 --> 00:22:04,050 You will bring them out of a darkness and into the light. 432 00:22:04,250 --> 00:22:07,130 So you have to know that it's a responsibility. 433 00:22:07,210 --> 00:22:08,890 Yes, you got a great responsibility. 434 00:22:09,210 --> 00:22:11,330 It's a it's a great privilege, it's a great blessing. 435 00:22:11,650 --> 00:22:14,210 But it does come with its weight. 436 00:22:14,530 --> 00:22:18,970 But you will never, ever, ever get stronger without lifting a 437 00:22:18,970 --> 00:22:21,410 weight. And by doing that you will 438 00:22:21,410 --> 00:22:24,450 become stronger in your character, in your resilience. 439 00:22:24,450 --> 00:22:28,010 You as a person, you are learning on the job to become a 440 00:22:28,010 --> 00:22:31,730 better version of yourself. And that is an amazing example 441 00:22:31,730 --> 00:22:33,970 to show the people that you love, adore and care about. 442 00:22:33,970 --> 00:22:36,010 Remember, you've got little eyes looking up at you. 443 00:22:36,490 --> 00:22:38,810 You've got people in your family that are looking up at you. 444 00:22:39,090 --> 00:22:41,530 You've got kids, you may have grandkids, you may have nieces, 445 00:22:41,530 --> 00:22:43,290 you may have nephews, may have little cousins. 446 00:22:43,490 --> 00:22:45,370 There are strangers that are looking up at you. 447 00:22:45,410 --> 00:22:48,570 And that's what that's what really kind of motivates me and 448 00:22:48,570 --> 00:22:50,930 keeps me going is I know that there are straight. 449 00:22:51,090 --> 00:22:52,810 It's easy to do it for your kids. 450 00:22:52,930 --> 00:22:54,770 It's easy. That's it, that's that's the 451 00:22:54,770 --> 00:22:56,810 easy thing. But I know that there are 452 00:22:56,810 --> 00:23:01,010 strangers, little kids, little strangers and adults that are 453 00:23:01,010 --> 00:23:03,490 relying on me, that don't know me yet. 454 00:23:03,650 --> 00:23:06,050 But, but, but I will come to meet them in the future. 455 00:23:07,250 --> 00:23:10,890 Thank you, Jamie. I know our time is running out 456 00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:13,690 and you're probably thinking, Oh no, the time is running out and 457 00:23:13,690 --> 00:23:17,930 you're enjoying this episode, but I'm going to throw in a bit 458 00:23:17,930 --> 00:23:23,930 of a red herring here go. As social workers, even 459 00:23:23,970 --> 00:23:26,650 everything you're saying is true, but there are social 460 00:23:26,650 --> 00:23:28,930 workers out there. I definitely was one of them 461 00:23:29,330 --> 00:23:32,770 where I would, what's the word I would. 462 00:23:33,230 --> 00:23:35,870 Give too much, right? There's a phrase out there at 463 00:23:35,870 --> 00:23:39,630 the moment, an article saying is there too much goodwill in 464 00:23:39,630 --> 00:23:43,190 social work Now? Some of that goodwill is about 465 00:23:43,190 --> 00:23:46,870 professional integrity. Some of that goodwill is not 466 00:23:46,870 --> 00:23:50,990 having boundaries. The other side of that is this 467 00:23:50,990 --> 00:23:53,310 is my job. This is the expectation of me to 468 00:23:53,310 --> 00:23:57,150 do XY&Z. What do you say to the social 469 00:23:57,150 --> 00:24:01,110 workers who are struggling to say no to certain things, 470 00:24:01,110 --> 00:24:03,270 covering for stuff when they know they haven't got the 471 00:24:03,270 --> 00:24:07,190 capacity over giving and too much goodwill? 472 00:24:07,190 --> 00:24:08,710 What? What are we saying to social 473 00:24:08,710 --> 00:24:12,230 workers that are in that mindset of of doing that and feeling 474 00:24:12,230 --> 00:24:15,950 they have to overwork? But that's where, again, you've 475 00:24:15,950 --> 00:24:18,790 got to look to yourself and within yourself. 476 00:24:18,870 --> 00:24:21,670 Look after yourself and stay in your own lane. 477 00:24:21,870 --> 00:24:23,910 Yeah, you can't. You can't pour from an empty 478 00:24:23,910 --> 00:24:24,910 cup. Absolutely. 479 00:24:25,430 --> 00:24:29,380 And yeah, I don't think there's any such thing as too much 480 00:24:29,380 --> 00:24:31,220 goodwill going out there. And doing good. 481 00:24:31,300 --> 00:24:35,500 Is is is what life is all about and what it should be, but not a 482 00:24:35,500 --> 00:24:38,700 detriment to yourself. And you said the word there, 483 00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:42,260 which is, which is the key that you have to have to implement 484 00:24:42,260 --> 00:24:45,580 and learn and then apply boundaries. 485 00:24:45,580 --> 00:24:47,980 You have to learn the power of the word no. 486 00:24:48,260 --> 00:24:51,500 You have to learn the power of the word no, no to other people. 487 00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:54,380 Because what you will find is other people will take advantage 488 00:24:54,380 --> 00:24:56,380 of you because of who you are. Your goodwill. 489 00:24:56,500 --> 00:25:00,660 Your good nature and people will and and and and that is 490 00:25:00,660 --> 00:25:02,980 something to do with human ages. They will always stretch 491 00:25:02,980 --> 00:25:04,900 boundaries. They will always take it that 492 00:25:04,900 --> 00:25:07,780 little step further. Oh I got away with this this 493 00:25:07,780 --> 00:25:09,140 time. Let's see if I can push it a 494 00:25:09,140 --> 00:25:10,940 little bit more. Little bit more. 495 00:25:11,060 --> 00:25:13,820 Oh, because Janet or Jeff, they will stand for it and they will 496 00:25:13,820 --> 00:25:17,060 say yes. So you have to learn it is again 497 00:25:17,140 --> 00:25:18,220 it. I've. 498 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,600 I've given you the reason as to where the problem is. 499 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,880 So it's up to you. There's no excuse now not to 500 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,240 kind of implement it or learn about it. 501 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:30,920 If someone is taking advantage of you, learn the power of the 502 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:31,640 word. No. 503 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,960 Like literally the first. The first time it might be 504 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:36,800 goodwill. If people are taking advantage 505 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,280 of you, right? The first time it may be an 506 00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:42,880 accident, it may just be you and your given nature. 507 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:44,720 But the second time, third time, the 4th. 508 00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:48,370 That's a choice. There's something I want to add 509 00:25:48,370 --> 00:25:50,970 there, Jamie. There are different ways to say 510 00:25:50,970 --> 00:25:52,890 no. I have this conversation in my 511 00:25:52,890 --> 00:25:56,570 coaching sessions all the time, and if you're one of my coaches, 512 00:25:56,570 --> 00:25:59,690 you'll be laughing right now because that's something I say. 513 00:25:59,690 --> 00:26:03,370 You know, if you just Google, there are ten ways to say no or 514 00:26:03,370 --> 00:26:05,810 20 ways to say no. There are other way. 515 00:26:05,850 --> 00:26:07,730 You don't have to use the word no. 516 00:26:07,730 --> 00:26:10,410 You could say that's not a good time for me right now. 517 00:26:10,610 --> 00:26:14,450 You know, you can say I'm have another commitment at that time, 518 00:26:14,690 --> 00:26:17,560 so. There is language that you can 519 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:22,240 use if you if there is a fear around saying no, and I guess it 520 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,040 would be remiss of me. I know we've only got a few 521 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:27,240 minutes left to not mention the phrase people pleasing. 522 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:28,960 I know you have a view on that, Jamie. 523 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:32,000 If you can just give like 30 seconds of support and 524 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,640 encouragement around people, yeah. 525 00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:37,320 And that listen, people pleasing that, that that is a fault and 526 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:40,640 that and that shows you that you need to work on something that 527 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:45,200 you so, so people pleasing coming from is it because you, 528 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,520 you, you, you're low on confidence. 529 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,960 You're low on self esteem. You want people to like you. 530 00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:52,880 Listen, the only person that needs to like you is the one 531 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,240 that looks back at you in the mirror. 532 00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:56,640 Go into going to go and literally work on that. 533 00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:00,690 First and foremost, want to please people by being yourself. 534 00:27:00,690 --> 00:27:01,810 Listen. Be yourself. 535 00:27:01,810 --> 00:27:03,650 Like, implement the boundaries. Just listen. 536 00:27:03,650 --> 00:27:05,010 Be yourself. And if you don't want to do 537 00:27:05,010 --> 00:27:07,290 something, don't do it. And if people don't like you 538 00:27:07,290 --> 00:27:09,090 because of it, guess what? That's a favor. 539 00:27:09,250 --> 00:27:12,170 That's a favor to you because you've literally identified 540 00:27:12,170 --> 00:27:15,610 someone that would literally get their claws into you, Get like 541 00:27:15,610 --> 00:27:18,250 literally attached to you like a Leech and drag you down. 542 00:27:18,490 --> 00:27:20,650 They will literally drag you down and not let you flourish 543 00:27:20,650 --> 00:27:23,970 and blossom. So look within yourself all the 544 00:27:24,530 --> 00:27:26,370 right. There's so many answers within 545 00:27:26,370 --> 00:27:28,370 yourself. Like I said, to ask yourself 546 00:27:28,370 --> 00:27:32,410 them questions as What drives you and what your reason is? 547 00:27:32,530 --> 00:27:34,890 Ask yourself again, listen, why am I people? 548 00:27:34,890 --> 00:27:36,810 But why? Why am I pleasing that person? 549 00:27:38,850 --> 00:27:39,330 Why? Why? 550 00:27:39,330 --> 00:27:42,770 Why am I sort of emptying my own cup for this person? 551 00:27:42,770 --> 00:27:46,020 Is it because, listen, my confidence isn't, isn't isn't 552 00:27:46,020 --> 00:27:49,980 the highest my my my own value and my own worth and how I think 553 00:27:49,980 --> 00:27:52,980 about people and sorry, how I think about myself, Is it not 554 00:27:52,980 --> 00:27:54,980 very high? Well, that's something that you 555 00:27:54,980 --> 00:27:57,860 have to work on. There's no good building a house 556 00:27:57,860 --> 00:28:01,700 if your foundation isn't strong. So go back to the basic and 557 00:28:01,700 --> 00:28:05,060 start working on your foundation, your foundation of 558 00:28:05,060 --> 00:28:06,940 yourself. Esteem, your confidence, your 559 00:28:06,940 --> 00:28:10,860 value, your worth, and your importance to this role and 560 00:28:10,860 --> 00:28:12,540 who's relying on you. And then all of a sudden you 561 00:28:12,540 --> 00:28:16,030 stand in your power and you realize, yeah, I don't need to 562 00:28:16,030 --> 00:28:19,590 please that person because the person that I am pleasing is 563 00:28:19,590 --> 00:28:20,870 looking back at me in the mirror. 564 00:28:20,990 --> 00:28:23,990 And there's loads and loads and loads of vulnerable little human 565 00:28:23,990 --> 00:28:26,350 beings that are looking up at me, liking me. 566 00:28:26,510 --> 00:28:29,870 And that is good for me because what you think about me is none 567 00:28:29,870 --> 00:28:32,470 of my business. The person that wants to drag 568 00:28:32,470 --> 00:28:36,390 you down and take advantage of you, do yourself a favor and get 569 00:28:36,390 --> 00:28:39,790 rid of that kind of Deadwood. Oh, Amen. 570 00:28:40,070 --> 00:28:42,430 That's all I've got to say To the bat is Amen. 571 00:28:42,870 --> 00:28:45,710 We have now approaching the end of the podcast, but don't switch 572 00:28:45,710 --> 00:28:49,150 off yet because Jamie's not finished, because he's going to 573 00:28:50,910 --> 00:28:54,510 just give a final word. And we call this section of the 574 00:28:54,510 --> 00:28:59,670 podcast Dear Social Worker. And the idea of that is, is it's 575 00:28:59,710 --> 00:29:03,310 as if you are writing a letter, so you're going to be writing a 576 00:29:03,310 --> 00:29:07,470 letter to social workers. From you, Jamie. 577 00:29:08,260 --> 00:29:14,500 Whenever you're ready, right dear, dear social worker, in 578 00:29:14,500 --> 00:29:17,180 this blessed and privileged position that you're in, 579 00:29:17,220 --> 00:29:19,500 although it is hard, although it is pressurized. 580 00:29:20,060 --> 00:29:24,800 Just know how important you are. You have to know all the good 581 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:28,520 things you make happen by you being you and by you doing what 582 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:32,000 it is that you're doing. You have to remember the bad 583 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:36,000 stuff that you are stopping from happening by you being you and 584 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,840 doing what you're doing. Your importance and your value 585 00:29:39,290 --> 00:29:43,650 is is is higher than you could realize imagine or what you 586 00:29:43,650 --> 00:29:46,410 could acknowledge. Just know how incredible and 587 00:29:46,410 --> 00:29:49,730 phenomenal you are. You have literally got through 588 00:29:49,730 --> 00:29:54,530 overcome and conquered 100% of your worst and most challenging 589 00:29:54,530 --> 00:29:58,170 days and you are still here. So what I want you to do is to 590 00:29:58,170 --> 00:30:02,090 carry on that statistic. Keep the 100% going. 591 00:30:02,330 --> 00:30:06,930 You are a part of the 100% club and when you're in you do not 592 00:30:06,930 --> 00:30:09,610 leave. You can't go able, you can't 593 00:30:09,610 --> 00:30:12,890 just unsubscribe and then leave. Keep on going. 594 00:30:12,890 --> 00:30:17,130 That statistic is so important because by you being you, you 595 00:30:17,130 --> 00:30:22,090 are literally creating a world of wonder for people and giving 596 00:30:22,090 --> 00:30:25,290 them the dream and giving them the opportunity for them to 597 00:30:25,290 --> 00:30:28,810 flourish and to blossom. And if you do not believe me, 598 00:30:28,810 --> 00:30:32,650 the only thing you have to do is sit down and watch a film called 599 00:30:32,890 --> 00:30:37,490 It's A Wonderful Life about George W Bailey and and how his 600 00:30:37,490 --> 00:30:41,910 importance is just by doing the simple and the basic things and 601 00:30:41,910 --> 00:30:44,870 the amazing things he makes happen and the terrible, 602 00:30:44,870 --> 00:30:47,950 horrible things he stops from happening just by being him. 603 00:30:48,110 --> 00:30:50,990 You are incredible. Stay with us, keep doing what 604 00:30:50,990 --> 00:30:54,630 you're doing and keep this work up because so many people are 605 00:30:54,630 --> 00:30:57,630 relying on you. Well done, you superhero. 606 00:30:57,830 --> 00:31:02,190 God bless all my love. Sincerely, kindest regards, 607 00:31:02,310 --> 00:31:06,310 Jamie Denya. Jamie, thank you. 608 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:11,240 Thank you so much for coming here and sharing your words of 609 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:13,400 wisdom with us. Where can people find you? 610 00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:18,240 Well, I do a lot of work on Instagram social media. 611 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:23,000 So Instagram is at grief preacher or one word at grief 612 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:27,160 preacher. It's Jamie Denya on Facebook. 613 00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:30,200 It's at grief Preacher on Twitter as well. 614 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,680 But yeah, I love, I love Instagram. 615 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:38,040 People at my website is www.jamiedenya.com. 616 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:40,680 You can go on there. You can look at the work in 617 00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:43,080 which I do get bit more of a flavor of what I do. 618 00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:45,920 There's a there's a contact section as well. 619 00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:48,280 You can reach out to me if you're interested in working 620 00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:49,800 with me. Listen, I would love to work 621 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:54,440 with you because I know that any organization be at a school be 622 00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:56,760 it social work. Be it, be it nurses, be it, 623 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,190 please. That organization is only as 624 00:31:59,190 --> 00:32:01,990 good as its employees, and it would be a pleasure and a 625 00:32:01,990 --> 00:32:04,270 blessing to work with people such as yourselves. 626 00:32:04,510 --> 00:32:06,590 So if you want to do that, contact me. 627 00:32:06,630 --> 00:32:09,270 Or if you just want to reach out to me, ask me anything, 628 00:32:09,430 --> 00:32:13,150 messages, whatever, I will always reply and I and I am 629 00:32:13,150 --> 00:32:16,740 there for you. Thank you very much, Jamie. 630 00:32:17,020 --> 00:32:19,940 Thank you for listening to the Dear Social Worker Let's Talk 631 00:32:19,980 --> 00:32:22,900 podcast. Don't worry, Jamie will be back. 632 00:32:23,100 --> 00:32:24,980 Jamie and I, friends, he will be back. 633 00:32:25,020 --> 00:32:29,420 So don't worry. But listen, every Monday, 7:00 634 00:32:29,420 --> 00:32:34,660 AM UK time is the release date. And so we will see you next time 635 00:32:34,660 --> 00:32:37,500 on the next episode of Dear Social Worker podcast. 636 00:32:37,500 --> 00:32:45,720 Thank you very much. Play Akshay Song.