Today I want to talk to you about the stories that we tell
ourselves to keep ourselves emotionally or physically safe
as the world celebrates Easter with chocolate eggs and bunnies
and baby chicks, the majority of the retail industry profiting
from that approach. There's others celebrating the
real story of how Jesus came and died for our sins.
Which narrative is easier for people to believe?
Stories that give meaning to our lives can make us feel better or
look better in the eyes of someone else.
Stories that can make us feel less than.
Stories that we simply just make up.
I want you to think about the stories your families are
repeating to themselves. What is the narrative they're
subscribing to, and what do they believe to be true?
Let's talk Welcome to the Dear Social Worker podcast.
I'm your host Lee Suran and this is the podcast that focuses on
you, the person behind the title Social Worker.
Welcome to the Easter episode of Dear Social Worker and it is the
first episode which is walking into year two of this podcast,
so celebrate with me as we cover this topic.
Don't forget you can leave a review if you are listening on
Apple. Please do.
And of course get involved in the Spotify poll.
Whatever seems to be true for your families may be in conflict
with what you, as the social worker, see to be true.
Whatever seems true for your families may be in conflict with
what you, as the social worker, see to be true.
This is the disparity between what some parts of the world
deemed to be Easter and what others say is true of the Easter
story. I want you to consider this
podcast almost like it's different characters.
One, you as a person behind the title 2 the person who is the
social worker at work, and three, you as a social worker
assessing or analysing your family's stories.
I'm going to be talking about all three of those elements in
today's podcast, and I'm not going to keep you long.
It's Bank holiday after all, right?
But those disparities between what one person believes to be
true and what another believes to be true, that is the recipe
for conflict, right? So think about this.
What story do children attach to receiving an Easter chocolate
egg? What do they think the purpose
of that chocolate egg is? So, for example, at Christmas,
the general story that children will receive because they're
given stories, that's a whole nother topic.
Santa supposedly visits with presents because you've been
good all year, but others will say that Christmas is about the
birth of baby Jesus. You see, no matter what you
believe, there's a story attached to it.
And that story gives meaning to your lives.
Your family's lives, the children's lives, and therefore
the lens through which you see things will likely be based upon
what you believe to be true. For example, you all will know
by now. I'm a Christian, so if I choose
to buy an Easter chocolate for the children in my family, I'll
be sending a book about Easter with it.
Or I'll be sending a copy of the Bible.
A kids copy of the Bible. Sorry, a kids version of the
Bible. That's what I believe to be
true. So from Palm Sunday, which is
the Sunday before Easter Sunday, So from Palm Sunday to Easter
Sunday, That's a key moment in Christian history as it's
established the true meaning of having faith, because faith is
the evidence of things hoped for and not seen.
So when Jesus died on the cross, it's because he wouldn't bow to
the king who wanted to be worshipped as the earthly king.
He did not want God to be worship, but Jesus refused and
therefore he was sentenced to death.
And the story of faith therefore continues when Jesus rose from
the tomb three days after he was sentenced, so he was sentenced
on the Good Friday. And then that's what we call the
Easter Sunday, is when he rose again.
Then he delivered key messages to his disciples to go out and
preach the gospel to others. Now here I want to mention
something Your families may want you to pick up their story.
We're getting into the model of projection and transference
here. But if you are already carrying
heavy bags of stories, so let's go back to what I believe the
Easter story to be true. If I'm already carrying those
bags. The speaking metaphorically here
do I have the room? Do you have the room listening
to your families for any other story?
Does it limit your capacity to listen, even if it's
subconsciously to any other story, and consider another
perspective? Listen carefully.
Are you simply looking for evidence to prove your own
story? So I'm going to pause here.
I want you to think about that first of all with your families,
because we're talking about families here.
Let's think. You have a particular story that
you believe about this family. Maybe the story is they will
never change. So therefore you may begin to
look for evidence to prove that story.
I can back some of this up scientifically.
It's something that I talk about in all my coaching sessions, the
recticular activating system, Ras.
It lives in the base of our brains, and I would describe it
as a deleting machine, because whatever you tell your brain to
look for, that's what it's going to look for and it's going to
delete what it deems to be irrelevant.
For example, playing Spot the red Car, you're in the car with
one of the children. You're like, right, let's play a
game, let's try and spot as many red cars as possible.
Who can spot the most? And let's say you're on a main
road or a main highway, For those of you listening in
America, I see you and you're looking all the way down this
highway, all the way down this dual carriageway to just spot
the red car and all of the greens and the whites and the
Blues, they're going to pass you and all you're doing.
You can scan that whole street and say there's a red one right
at the top there. That is how the recticular
activating system works. It works according to what you
tell it. So if you are telling yourself
about telling yourself a story about family and you think
they're never going to change, think about the impact that's
going to have when you are listening to their version of
their story when you are writing the assessment.
Mum may say X, but you may interpret it as Y.
If you don't ask clarifying questions, your story of that
family could dominate your assessment without you
realising. Why?
Because it has more meaning to you, It has more meaning to you.
So I say that to say this, giving you three points, one
from my story, what I believe to be true about Easter.
I invite you to do your research about Easter, and I want you to
consider it in the context for those children who are
Christians and you're working with them, what are you as their
worker doing for them in this season?
How are you offering support, information and experiences that
reflect their Christian faith, Their teaching of Easter?
Their understanding of Easter is not the same story of what the
supermarkets and the retailers are selling.
Because they are selling a story, they're projecting a
story. So I urge you as social workers,
Christian or not, don't get caught up in the hype of the
majority. It's a disservice to your
Christian children, particularly those that our children in care
are about to be adopted. Truly consider what is the
adoptive or foster carers understanding of Easter and
Christmas and are they willing to reinforce the child's Story
#2 Stories are so powerful. More than you'll ever know.
It's a whole other episode. Be aware of your stories and
challenge them and where you want to, where you can, where
you've considered it. Embrace them.
Understand their impact on you and on others.
Lastly, take a moment to consider the story.
The family that you're working with or the families that you're
working with. What is the story that they are
collectively telling themselves? Or are there individual stories?
Consider its impact and effect on your communication with them
to bring safety into their home. This includes your interaction,
your assessment, how you speak to them.
If you're not aware of those narratives that are circling
your assessment, you may end up with assessment that is more
dominant of your story than theirs.
It may be more dominant with what you deem to be evidence
through the lens, that story lens that you've been looking
through, than there's I've been Lisa Ran.
I truly hope that this has been a useful episode for you always.
Send me an e-mail, send me Adm. Let me know when you listen to
the episodes, how it's been for you, what you've got from it.
Have a blessed bank holiday and I will see you next week.