Dear social worker, welcome to the podcast that prioritises you
the person behind the title. I'm your host Lisa Ann Edwards,
and today we're going to be talking about giving yourself
permission. Because last week I had a
coaching session with a social worker who said they when
working overtime but felt guilty they were working overtime
because it was taken from their time, but then as a result of
feeling guilty, they were then feeling resentful towards the
job. So I want to talk about 10
different things you can give yourself permission to do.
Because sometimes what holds us back is actually saying yes to
ourselves. Let's talk.
Saying yes to ourselves sometimes can be one of the
hardest things to do, and it can be one of the hardest things for
us to recognise as social workers that we should do.
It's so easy to lose who you are in the job, and for students
listening to this, This is why it's important We understand now
at this point what we need to be saying yes to.
Now. I'm going to go through 10
things. I won't be keeping you here too
long today, but I just want to go through these just to get you
to think about what you're saying no to right now, which is
something that you need. Sometimes we're saying no to
things because we've created a narrative about this thing and
truly don't understand that if we just turned round and said
yes, it would make our lives easier or it would meet our
need, or it would help us do XY and Z.
So let me tell you what I'm talking about more specifically,
and if I have time, I will talk more about why we don't give
ourselves permission. Number one, embrace
imperfection. You are never going to get
everything that you need done at the same time, not going to
happen. You will always have a crisis.
You will always have an e-mail that you need to respond to, a
team meeting to attend. You will always have an
emergency meeting, a strap meeting of some sort.
That is the nature of social work.
And whilst sometimes it it can be frustrating that you're
having to put things aside in order to manage a crisis, manage
something urgent, if you're someone who really thrives off
getting things right, getting things perfect, these are one of
the permissions you're going to have to work towards.
Learning. Embracing.
Imperfection. Embracing that you can't control
everything. You can't control your time.
You don't know what's going to happen when you go out for a
home visit. You don't know what you're going
to be presented with when you attend a meeting.
So you do your best to keep the boundaries in place.
Be aware of what the boundaries are.
But equally, imperfection. Certainly something which is a
dichotomy. Now I think about it because you
don't go into the job to not do something right, to not be
perfect. It's not a job where you can't,
you know, get things right. But we are human, and sometimes
we have to embrace the human side of us and not be like
robots, which can happen, which can happen.
Be careful of that #2. We talked about this last week.
Prioritising your health, making your physical and mental health
a priority. The caveat here is where you can
give yourself permission to have your break or to finish on time
once or twice a week. Just like it's OK that you won't
get everything right and perfect, it's OK to say I want
to leave on time today. Sleep, Exercise.
Food. Getting check UPS at the
doctors, the dentist. How many social workers?
I've worked over the years who haven't been to the dentist for
years for one reason or another, mainly due to them saying they
were too busy #3 Celebrate your successes.
Come on now, it's so easy to forget what you've achieved, how
many people you've helped, how many children you've saved, how
many adults you've supported. Don't forget what you've
achieved. I know social workers that keep
a chronology of it and this is one of the recommendations in
some of my programmes. Keep a chronology of what you've
achieved. Because you're surrounded by
trauma and crisis all the time, it's very easy to let that
become your 80%. And then the 20% you just about
remember what you've done, what you've achieved, how you've
helped someone. It's time to celebrate your
achievements. Give yourself permission to do
so, No matter how small it may seem.
It can boost your morale and help you maintain motivation.
Number What number are we on? I'll carry it away #4
Acknowledge your limits. Give yourself permission to
know, understand, and embrace what your limits are.
You can't solve every problem. You can't help every single
child and family. There's going to be moments
where you have to ask someone else who has the expertise.
It's OK to acknowledge your limitations.
It's OK not to know everything. That's why you come to the
podcast or you go to someone else's event.
Or you may contribute to writing to a magazine or a journal.
Go where you know the expertise exists and give yourself
permission to do so #5 where you can.
The caveat is where you can. Give yourself permission to turn
off your laptop outside of work hours and even your mobile
phone. Give yourself permission to
unwind. Give yourself permission to
focus on your personal interests.
It's OK to have a life outside of social work.
It's OK. Give yourself permission number
six, Give yourself permission to take time off.
You can see I'm getting animated now and memory has just dropped
right here. I'm going to share it with you
briefly. I was in year two of my NQ
that's newly qualified for those not in the UK, approximately 18
months in and my manager said to me in supervision, she said you
didn't take a break last year and now we're moving into this
year and I haven't seen you take a break other than bank
holidays, she said. By September, I want you to have
taken a minimum of a two week break.
I was like a break. I I'm sure I I almost said or
worse of the effect. What's that?
I laugh about it now, but if you really check it, that's a
dangerous place to be. That wasn't a good place,
although during that time I didn't feel burnt out.
To an extent, I was protected as an NQI didn't feel burnt out.
I didn't feel like I was running on a treadmill.
I just, you know, was doing my job.
But I walked into the job with the habit of not even
considering the annual leave I was entitled to.
Give yourself permission now. Don't get into those kind of
patterns. This is why I'm so passionate
about it. I've I've been there.
I've done it. I had that mindset.
It doesn't work. What number am I on now?
Last track? Number six, I'm guessing number
six. Practical. self-care.
Practical self-care is taking part in activities that promote
your well-being, Hobbies, meditation, exercise.
Coming to one of my events and being around other social
workers, I have another one coming up.
Actually, I'll tell you more about that next week.
Something practical, Not where you sat in front of a screen or
sat reading a book. Something that that gets you
moving or gets you talking or being social #7 Seek support.
Reach out for support from whether it's your colleagues,
your peers, your supervisors, coaches, counsellors, art
therapists, your doctor. Asking for help isn't a sign of
of weakness. Give yourself permission to ask
for help. Do you know how many people
don't ask for help? Do you know how many people
feel? It's a weakness.
I'm sure you can think of some adults or parents that you're
working with right now that haven't asked for help.
And you're saying to them, well, why didn't you call me?
Why didn't you let me know? I could have helped you, but yet
sometimes we don't do that for ourselves #8 We've talked about
this before, but I'm reiterating boundaries.
Establish clear boundaries between work and personal life.
Sometimes they get blurred and sometimes for a period of time
it is necessary. I know there'll be a period of
time, whether it's two weeks or a month, where you've really got
it. Knuckle down and get get your
head into somewhere and you're aware that that's going to take
some of your personal time. That may happen.
Be aware of that. But on the whole, overall, there
should be clear boundaries between you and the person and
your personal life. It's OK to say no to additional
responsibilities that could overwhelm you.
Keep things in the realm of what's manageable for you, I
think. I've definitely taken the
numbering out, but whatever #10 I've said this before, I must
say it again. Take breaks.
Give yourself permission to take regular breaks.
Even if you don't take your one hour, you can take 15 minutes
twice in the day, four times in the day.
That makes your hour. It's important you take time
away from the screen. It's important that you
recharge. It's essential for you to
maintain your mental health. Think about all the work that
your brain is doing, all day, every day, all day, every day.
Constantly assessing, constantly thinking, constantly thinking of
the the best possible outcomes for children and the ways to get
there. Your brain needs to be hydrated,
you need to be nourished, and you need time away from the
screen. We know that social work is
physically and emotionally demanding.
We know with social work that trauma is part of the job.
You will be exposed to it. It's imperative that you
consider what you're saying yes to that you no longer mean.
And it's imperative you think about what have you stopped
giving yourself permission to do that would in turn benefit you?
Anything that you do to pour into yourself, whether it's just
listening to this podcast, whether it's just buying one of
my books, whether it's booking in with one of my coaching
sessions, and feel free to do that.
If you feel you need some support, go straight to social
work coaching hub.com and I'll be there for you to support you.
Use the resources you've got access to and give yourself
permission to look after yourself and pour into yourself
whilst you're pouring into others.
God bless you and have a wonderful week.
PS Give yourself permission to explore new opportunities.
There's so many social workers that I coach on a weekly basis
that are contemplating leaving the profession or leaving their
workplace, or trying a different form of social work.
Do you know where your social work degree can take you?
Where your master's degree can take you?
There's so many other roles out there where you can utilise
transferable skills and there's many roles out there where it is
focused on social workers, whether it's hospital, social
work or adult social care. If you're a children's social
worker, mental health, social workers, the list goes on.
Give yourself permission just to look at different types of
social work, different types of social work roles where you feel
you could embrace all of your skills and your creativity and
thrive. I worked in local authority for
over 10 years and I can't recall more than once or twice perhaps
where I was considering a different form of social work.
Now I think about it, I could have stepped into learning and
development and supported ASYES. That's the assessed year in
employment, The first year of employment for social workers
here in the UK assessed and supported year in employment.
That's it. Excuse me?
The point is, there are so many different forms of social work.
There are so many jobs out there which would welcome your skills,
your transferable skills from the role that you're in.
Give yourself permission just to look, particularly if you've got
one foot out of the door, particularly if you're feeling
burnt out, particularly if you're feeling completely
exhausted with your role or your workplace or your organization.
There's so much out there, and it doesn't mean you have to stop
being a social worker. It just means you're a social
worker in a different capacity, in a different workplace, a
different type of organization, whether it's a Christian
organization or a charity. What do you enjoy most about
your social work role? Find somewhere that just does
that. If you love direct work, for
example, perhaps a youth work role would suit you best or suit
you better, Should I say rather than best?
Don't want to make any assumptions now.
First rule of social work. Anyway, on that note, I'm
heading out because I know I am publishing this late, but I'd
wanted to make sure I didn't forget this element around
permission. On that note, I'll leave you to
it. I may revisit this next week.
We'll see. Until then, have a blessed week.