Hi and welcome to K Let's Talk, the podcast where we break down
storytelling across books, television and film with a
special love for book to screen adaptation.
Here we talk about craft, character arcs, structure,
dialogue, visual language, and the creative choices that shape
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conversational, deep dives into the stories you can't stop
thinking about, you're in the right place.
Let's talk. Hello everyone and welcome back
to the podcast. This episode is going to be AQ
and a episode I had asked people over on TikTok and my Instagram
page for questions that they wanted me to answer about heated
rivalry since I've been doing very extensive breakdowns for
the past month plus. And obviously those discussions
incite more questions. And there were some really,
really great ones that people reached out to ask.
So I'm excited to dive into some of them.
I did receive so many that this will likely end up being a
two-part series of Q&A questions and answers.
So Please be patient, if you asked a question and it doesn't
show up in this episode, it will probably be in the next one
because there were so many good questions that I feel obligated
to respond to and want to give them proper answers which might
result in some wordy answers on my part.
I broke these down into categories so hopefully there
will be a good flow between these questions and my answers
as I work through them. And if there are any topics that
I cover that you want me to go into further detail or do a
deeper dive on, please leave me a comment.
And I will try and come up with some sort of medium, whether
it's on the podcast again or on my sub stack page or making an
actual video dedicated to it. I will try and do that because I
think that the storytelling and the way that this show is shot
incites so many great conversations about the
characters, character development, how much we're
being shown and not told and why it's so effective.
There's just so many avenues that you can approach so many
moments in the show and scenes in the show and greater themes
of this show as well. So thank you in advance to
everybody who submitted a question.
And without further ado, here is my heated rivalry Q&A.
So this question is how do I think Svetlana knowing about
Shane Effects season 2 seems like a big change and it's a
huge change. I agree because she is now a
pillar in Ilya's life that he did not have in the book as he
navigates through his depression in the long game.
I think that it's still unclear though that she definitely knows
that Jane is Shane, but it's heavily implied and I think that
her character arc has to change because of the foundation they
gave her in season 1. She doesn't have a lot of
involvement in the long game really only one scene and Ilya
thinks about her a few times. But I've already talked about on
TikTok how the changes they've made in the show, specifically
her being as close to Ilya as she is, and their love being
rooted in a childhood friendship and a friendship in general,
really adds to how she can be used in the storyline for Season
2. Because Ilya's isolated in the
long game, both physically and mentally.
Once he moves to Ottawa and joins a new team and he's
grappling with a lot of unresolved childhood wounds and
he ends up with a Russian therapist that he's able to
converse with in Russian, and he says it's been years since he
was able to speak to someone in Russian freely.
So that again, would imply that he hadn't been talking to
Svetlana at all since he moves to Ottawa.
What I think is a key difference in approach here is that
Svetlana tells Ilya she will always be there for him, however
he needs her in Season 1. And we also know she loves him
deeply as a person. And so I don't think him moving
to Ottawa, especially if she knows it's for Shane, would mean
that she would ever not reach out to him again or drift away
from him. She would probably be calling
and checking in. And I think that you can still
replicate Ilya's isolation, but actually have it be more
impactful if Svetlana is trying to connect with him and he pulls
away from socializing with everyone, but especially from
her. That to me is a really clear
sign that something is wrong, and one that Shane would also
likely pick up on given that he knows that at that point
Svetlana is someone Ilya is close to, would have married to,
get citizenship for, and has known since he was a kid.
So I think them being childhood friends makes everything
different inherently, but I also think Svetlana potentially
knowing about Shane changes a lot because she wouldn't be
absent from Ilya's life. She would know and understand
given how much she knows about hockey and hockey culture, that
him being with Shane, moving for Shane, leaving Boston to be with
Shane and play for Ottawa is a huge deal and I don't think that
they can omit her storyline given those facts.
This question is what's a scene from the heated rivalry book
that I wish made the cut in the show?
And when I was thinking about this, I realized it was less of
a lack of scenes, more lines of dialogue that I wish made the
show. But I also like the concept that
they probably still happened just off screen from the viewer
because they took place in more private moments shared between
Shane and Ilya that the show does not allow the viewer to
see. Once they shift the narrative
focus away from the sex scenes and they hold back those more
intimate moments on screen. And how that changes the dynamic
between the two characters from episodes one and two versus 456.
I think a lot of the dialogue that I wish I could see in there
would have taken place in those moments.
And so inherently we we don't get them.
I like a lot of the dialogue between Shane and Ilya when
they're on the phone while Ilya is in Russia, and specifically
the conversation they have about Ilya's necklace and his mother,
which we also don't see on screen.
I like a lot of the moments where Ilya is saying things in
Russian that Shane doesn't understand, but we as readers of
the book do. And I think that could have been
used in more impactful scenes, like the Vegas hotel scene in
Episode 2 where Ilya says why does it have to be you?
And we didn't get that, which I was kind of sad about, but
again, we cut away during the act, so he could have said it
still and we just didn't get to see it on screen.
I also think there's a really good passage where Shane and
Ilya are speaking on the phone that establishes their
relationship with hockey really clearly.
And Shane expresses that he's always viewed hockey as
everything to him, and Ilya has viewed it as an escape.
And how, to me, that's really important to know when fleshing
the two people out as characters within the world of the sport.
And it also ties into the dialogue they share over the
phone, where Ilya and Shane are talking about how Shane loves
praise, but Shane says Ilya loves praise too, and calls him
out for lying. When Ilya says he doesn't care
what people say, Shane tells him.
You love the awards. You love the fans and the press.
You love beating me and Ilya says I love beating everyone but
yes, you the most. And when Shane asks him why,
Ilya says because you are the best.
And that line is mirrored in the long game.
So I wish we had that inserted somewhere in Season 1 because I
think that would be a really great payoff and hopefully they
can still do it. But that was one I was missing.
I also think the conversation they have where they talk about
Shane being with other men is really impactful, and that also
didn't happen, but it comes up again in the long game.
So they can easily recycle that dialogue somewhere in Season 2,
even though we did not get it properly in Season 1.
This question is what's a scene from the long game that I wish
to see in Season 2 of the show? And I had a really hard time
narrowing down a specific scene because I think a lot of them
are really pivotal to the overarching story.
So yeah, it's hard for me to just pick one.
But I would say that the the most important thing for me that
I want to see in Season 2 is basically every moment between
Ilya and his therapist that we are able to get.
Because so much of what we learn about Ilya and why he behaves
the way he does in the long game is through those conversations
that he has with his therapist. They also take place spread out
throughout the book, so they mark really important parts of
the relationship development and story arc in a way that I think
is very compelling. And so using them in the show as
those markers is a great way to time stamp and contextualize how
their relationship changes and develops over the course of the
season. They also have all of their
meetings in Russian. They converse with one another
in Russian. And so yes, that would be a lot
more dialogue for Connor's story to have to learn and speak
Russian quite frequently in Season 2.
But again, I think it's really important to establish and and
keep that part of himself very prevalent in this depression
storyline because he's giving up such a huge part of who he is.
And these conversations with his therapist are the only window
into his past that we get. Because a lot of times he
doesn't allow himself to even have the memory of them when
he's thinking in his head. She pulls those thoughts out of
him. And So what we can get and learn
in those conversations not only recontextualize Season 1 and
also his behavior in Season 2, but paint a a more vivid picture
of who Ilya is and where he came from, his family life and how
that shaped him and all of those details.
For people who maybe don't understand trauma or attachment
theory or any of those psychological constructs that
are on display with these characters, having them framed
this way makes his motivations much clearer.
And you can understand how he navigates the world much clearer
once you have these more long, drawn out conversations with his
therapist about his father and about his mother and about his
upbringing and about how he behaved from a very young age in
terms of his sexuality and hockey, how he feels about
hockey. And most importantly, he does
not communicate with Shane for much of the long game.
And so he bottles up his feelings inside and does not
express them to Shane, but he does pointedly tell his
therapist how he really feels. And so again, that as a
narrative device is going to be pivotal since the two of them
have a communication issue and do not communicate clearly with
one another. The therapist is who Ilya is
going to express his feelings to.
And we need to have all of those scenes in order to really
understand the gravity of what Ilya is going through.
This question is pretty significant and my answer is
going to be very long winded. I'll try to keep it concise.
It says I would love insight into which scenes from the long
game are essential to be included in Season 2, especially
if you feel it should be lifted from the book the way a lot of
season 1 was. A segment you feel is best to
leave out from the show would be great too, and I would love to
see your reasons why. So the long answer is a lot of
scenes I think are essential to be included in Season 2, and
most of them cannot be lifted directly from the book just
because much of the story is internal thoughts that Ilya
specifically is having. And so they're going to have to
come up with visual ways of telling that narratively and.
Put him in positions where his feelings and thoughts are on
display rather than omitting them just because their thoughts
and not spoken word so. That will be interesting to see
how many of these scenes are adapted, given the the necessity
of bringing them to life on screen visually because they are
thought heavy. I think the obvious one for me
is the wedding with the Pike kids.
That would be one that you could lift pretty closely from the
book. And I also love the Christmas
scene where Ilya gives Shane the photograph from their first ad
campaign in Toronto, because it's a deeply important scene
for their relationship too. I also really hope they're able
to bring Ilya's dreams of his mother to screen and same with
like I said, the conversations with his therapist.
I also love the dialogue of someone may notice my heart
eyes. That's something they think they
could lift right from the book. I think that Ilya snapping at
Shane about the documentary video and how Shane is
everything to Ilya but he can't say that in the interview is a
huge one that they could lift from the book and have it impact
us in the same way. I also think Ilya crying as
Shane drives back to Montreal is an important scene where he's
crumpled on the floor against the door because that's one of
the first moments where we really get to visually see Ilya
succumb to the emotions of his depression.
And I think that will be a big moment because it does happen
earlier in the story. I think Ilya looking through the
photos he took at the MLH Awards in his boring photo album is 1.
They could lift right out and would be really impactful.
Ilya going to the grocery store, the health food store, and
buying ingredients to cook dinner with Shane and the two of
them cooking their healthy dinner together in Ilya's house
is one that they could lift right from the book and have it
be a really successful domestic scene between them.
He also lights a candle on the table for their dinner together.
And I think that would be a really great thing to show on
screen because it's an example of how Ilya is as a partner and
how thoughtful he is without them having to spell it out.
I think that Ilya watching Shane's injury on the TV is a
big one. I think the conversations with
the commissioner, both that Shane has individually with him,
then Shane and Ilya have confronting him about Troy, and
then also the one after they're discovered.
So all three of those are going to be really important to
include. There's a phone call between
Shane and Ilya where they're apart and Shane asks Ilya to
talk to him in Russian while he falls asleep.
And I want that to be used as another sort of Russian
monologue moment. And there's also a scene where
Shane falls asleep at Ilya's on his couch before Ilya gets home
from a road trip. And the two of them go up to
bed. And Ilya is again succumbing to
a lot of his depression. And they try to initiate
intimacy, but Ilya ends up falling asleep.
And it's so sweet between them. But before Ilya falls asleep, he
is holding Shane's hand in a death grip because he missed him
so much and is so sad about how few and far between their
moments together are starting to become.
And I think that would be a really impactful scene for them
to include as well. I love the scene where they're
in Ilya's gym and he talks about adding mood lighting or dimmable
lighting because it's important to Shane and so he wanted it to
be available to Shane in his own house.
There's a scene where Ilya is remembering a fight that he and
Shane had while Ilya's in therapy.
He's recalling it to his therapist, and Ilya had told
Shane early in their relationship that he could sleep
with other people in between their hookups if he wanted to.
And it sparks a larger confrontation for Ilya about his
feelings for Shane because Shane was so upset that he even
suggested that that he didn't speak to him for four days.
And then he confronts him about it.
And I think that that would be a really great, almost like a
flashback moment. Even if we don't have the
visuals of it, I think it would be important for Ilya to share
that with his therapist. I think that would be a really
important moment to include. They also have a fight about
Ilya telling Troy that he's bisexual, and exploring that
fight in the aftermath of it is important alongside the I
Already Chose You Hollander scene because that's the first
one where Shane left feeling terrified.
And it also allows Shane to gain this perspective that he needs
in order to understand how Ilya has changed his whole life to
fit around Shane's. I think that Ilya admitting to
Shane that he has a Russian therapist because it's easier to
talk in Russian is important because in the book Shane has a
thought that he regrets not learning Russian fast enough.
So I think that would be a cool one for them to include.
The plane scare, obviously. Shane's proposal, obviously.
I think the All Star game hookup in the hotel is important
because it reminds the two of them of how they were before
this new phase of their relationship.
And this is actually the the moment where I I spoke on this
earlier, Ilya is telling Shane that Shane's always been the
better hockey player between the two of them.
And again, that's a great callback moment that they could
pay off if they really. Wanted to.
I think that some version of the Ilya and Svetlana conversation
needs to happen, because I think that that's very important, I
think. Shane being there for Ilya after
Troy comes out is a huge, huge scene because Ilya just falls
apart. And I also think Shane and Ilya
being discovered, the aftermath of that and Shane's reaction
within his team dynamics is important to include.
I think Ilya sobbing when he comes home from the playoff game
and admitting to Shane that he has depression is obviously
going to be in there. And then the end of the book
ends with them being at the cottage over the summer, Shane
signing with Ottawa, their wedding in Ottawa.
And within that, there's a few key moments like David and Ilya
having their conversation or Shane and Ilya getting ready for
opening night of their first season as teammates.
So that's basically the whole book, but.
Much of them are very important in order to, again, time stamp
places where the two of them are growing individually and also
growing together. But there's a handful in there
that you could lift right off the page and the adaptation
would be pretty close to 1 to 1. And I think those are going to
be impactful scenes. And then there's some that I
included in there that I think Jacob's going to have to rework
creatively. And I'm very excited to see how
he would accomplish that. So I want those included.
This question is. In the show, why do you think
Ilya doesn't text Shane back after the snowstorm?
I understand why he didn't in the moment, but there must have
been a new game day or something.
It just seems weird for them to have no contact for months.
So I think part of it is that he was preoccupied with Svetlana
and. She calls Ilya out for having
Jane's message on his phone. So if Ilya's trying to downplay
the secret and bury the idea of Jane being someone significant,
then he obviously wouldn't want to fuel that fire by being on
his phone and answering a text message in front of in front of
Svetlana. Then on top of that, I think he
would use that delay in responding to the message or
having to respond to the message as an opportunity to pull
himself together. Because we can see that he was
visibly disappointed and upset when the game was canceled and
that he couldn't see Shane, and that surge of feelings would be
foreign to him. So in an attempt to regulate
himself, again, I'd say that Ilya would very much try to
downplay the situation and put separation between him and the
emotions, and then by proxy, him and Shane.
So they at that point don't talk outside of planning hookups.
And I think for him, he's not going to start then.
But in terms of how the game being rescheduled would work in
the NHL, their schedules locked in over the summer and their
travel schedule is planned so far out in advance.
So if the NHL has to reschedule a game, they'll often try to
insert it into a gap in the calendar.
And sometimes that would mean a back-to-back game with the same
team since they would not have to add another trip to the
schedule. So that would mean the next time
they play Montreal, they'll probably just play them two days
in a row because they're already going to be there.
But in terms of continuity, you could make the argument that
this could be a continuity error because they may have been able
to play the game the following day.
We just wouldn't know that because it's never disclosed on
screen and this entire scene doesn't happen in the book, so
they leave that open-ended. But on the whole, I think that
Ilya probably got spooked by how upset he was that they couldn't
see each other. And in reaction to that, he
would pull away to try and deny those feelings and downplay
those feelings. And then in the moment I don't
think he answers because he is with Svetlana.
This question says it was unclear to me if Shane's place
in Montreal was actually the investment real estate that it
was in the book. I feel like that storyline that
Shane didn't want to have Ilya in his actual apartment is
pretty significant. Maybe it was hinted at and I
just missed it. So to me, this is likely because
of the budget and the production and trying to make the most of
the set designs and the cost of sets.
Because they seemed to streamline things and make
Shane's apartment be the place where they meet and then include
the line that he owns the one next door and rents it out to
nod at how it's written in the book.
And I do think that the way they emphasize that more impersonal
aspect of the apartment, which is really kind of the key in the
book, is that Shane says he had a designer pick out everything
in his room, and his room is very bland and impersonal to
reflect that. I think that the hookup building
in the book is meant to be impersonal, and that's a
conscious decision that Shane makes to separate Ilia from his
personal life in multiple ways. And so that line kind of again,
nods at that and how it's told in the in the book version.
Interestingly, we will have a whole new set of sets for Season
2, and both Shane and Ilya will have new homes.
So I'm excited to see how they look.
And I have already envisioned how Ilya's house in particular
will look in my mind. So I can't wait to see if I'm
close as to what it will look like and how I have envisioned
it in terms of the layout and stylistically what it will look
like. I have a very clear vision of
what I think it will look like. And I'm genuinely so curious how
they're going to use different sets in Season 2.
Because again, we're going to have very few sets from Season 1
that we will be revisiting again.
So it's exciting to think about how visually we're going to have
so many new and exciting places to explore alongside Shane and
Ilya. This question is you mentioned
Shane has autism slash autistic traits.
Is that something documented in the books?
I would say it's documented in how Shane is written and
represented. A lot of his thoughts and
tendencies and characteristics reflect his autism quietly.
But the author Rachel Reed has said that she wrote him as
autistic, but Shane himself as a character does not know that he
is autistic, which I actually think makes it all the more
compelling. This question was I have been
wondering. In episode 5, when Ilya is
packing, Svetlana says not to forget something for his niece
and he says he packed it. Why?
I thought he never wanted to see his brother again or go back
there. I know he had not decided yet to
go to the cottage, but still that bothers me.
So in the book, it's important to understand that Ilya doesn't
have that dialogue from the monologue over the phone.
And it's slightly different because in the monologue, he
resolves himself to the fact that he doesn't have a family
there and he doesn't have any real reason to return.
And without that family obligation, he can stay in the
States. In the book, he tells Shane he
doesn't want to come back here, whereas in the show, in Russian,
he says, I'm never coming back here again.
So interestingly, I think the show also makes more of a nod to
his niece being a reason why he would keep ties to Russia
because he sets up a trust for her and he's sending or bringing
things back for her. So that is something I hope they
explore in season 2 because it seems like a large reason behind
him even considering going back is that last familial tie that
he has there. And he's also close to Svetlana,
who is a childhood friend, and her father still lives in
Russia. So again, he could theoretically
go back and stay with her. Do I think that he wants to?
No. Do I think he would feel like he
has nowhere else to go? Probably.
I think that's more of it. I think that it's less of a want
or desire to go back to Russia and more of a drifting feeling
that he has felt his entire life and not knowing where to go or
anchor himself. And when he's upset about not
being able to go to the cottage, he doesn't want to sit in his
house alone all summer. Svetlana's going home to Russia.
He is closest to Svetlana. And so naturally I think that
that would probably lead to him considering a trip back to
there. I do think that in the book, he
is alone when Scott kisses Kip on TV and so he doesn't have
this packing to go home moment. It's more of a thought that he
has in his head that he has nowhere to go and So what else
is there for him? And it's, it's not until the
kiss happens that he decides to go to the cottage.
And that's pretty much a a .5 second shift in his demeanor and
his desire. And he immediately forgoes a
trip home to Russia. So you can tell just in how
quickly he pivots that he never actually wanted to go back.
It was, it was never something he wanted to do, more of a lack
of anywhere else to go. This question is pretty dense
and so my answer is equally so. And the question is what does
Ilya's trauma bring to his relationship with Shane?
That's actually a strength and my answer is fairly long winded
but it has to be in order to explain it fully.
So due to the trauma that Ilya has sustained in his childhood
with his father being an abusive parent both verbally and it's
suspected and implied physically as well.
Ilia would have. Developed hyper vigilance and
that would shape his entire outlook on relationships, his
characterization on love, both romantic and platonic, and it
would also inform how his brain and his nervous system operate.
And that all informs his public persona versus his private
persona and also his emotional intelligence.
From a very early age, he would be hyper aware of both his
parents and his brother's moods and emotions, and he would have
to learn to read them very well in order to survive in their
household. And that's because from an early
age, he would have learned that his behaviors can directly
affect the outcome of a situation, both negatively or
positively. And he had a father whose love
and attention was very limited, but his praise or his insult was
conditional, especially in regards to hockey.
And we saw this during the draft scene and also during the
Olympics. But it's fleshed out further in
the book. Ilya knows his father will
always find fault in him for something.
If he is representing his country in a way that reflects
positively on his father, then Ilya is spoken about and to in a
way that reflects that. But when Ilya has acted in a way
that reflects poorly on his father and his country, he is
punished for it. There's no way for him to win in
any scenario, So Ilya would resolve to navigate that
relationship with his father in the least disrupting way
possible in order to protect his own peace.
And so if you imagine a young boy who has a depressed mother
and an abusive father, he would have learned how to try and
protect his mother in any way that he could because she would
have been powerless to his father.
And Ilya would likely try to find ways to keep her away from
him, but also to keep her happy or improve her mood de escalate
conflicts. And he would use himself as a
way to regulate her emotions. And doing that would require him
learning her behaviors and observing her very closely.
So he would have created his own list of behaviors and tactics
that he himself could implement when needed in order to help his
mom. And he does the same thing with
his brother. In many ways, Alexi is the best
example of how self sacrificing his childhood made Ilya.
And when he finds his mother and is told to lie about the
circumstances surrounding that event, even though he knows the
truth but is made to lie, he's so young at that point that he
likely internalized much of that event.
His fault somehow. His brother also harbors a deep
hatred for him that would inform that feeling as well.
And because the environment he grew up in, both in his
immediate family and in Russia, inform his family first behavior
and mentality, it's not surprising that once he finds
success, he becomes the person that everyone expects to support
them without question. And that bleeds into much of his
life. And we see that most clearly
with Shane in the long game where Ilya truly believes that
love is sacrifice and he is willing to put his own feelings
and well-being aside in order to make Shane or his mother or his
father or his brother content and to appease them.
And his needs are last. That's something he would have
learned indirectly and he feels most comfortable in his own
brain when he puts himself last because his brain was
conditioned that way. This is what leads him to being
so hyper attentive with Shane. On a small scale.
You can see that in ways like how quickly he learns Shane's
personality, how he needs to be communicated with and spoken to
and loved. So Ilya's hyper attentiveness
means that he studies people and then adapts to their needs.
And he has studied Shane for years, so he's learned his
quirks and how his brain works. He's asked him very pointed
questions to better understand his patterns, and that makes
Ilya a very generous lover and partner because he genuinely
knows Shane and makes an effort to never stop getting to know
and learning him. And he loves him.
And that incites that behavior because he's constantly trying
to improve Shane's life, push him to be brave, and stretch
outside of his comfort zone so that Shane can comfortably
navigate the world without the fear that Ilya has observed
within him. And Ilya wants to help him grow
into his confidence and security and feel secure in who he is.
Because Ilya knows how special he is, and he wants Shane to
feel that too. He wants him to be free of the
mental burdens and limitations he places on himself.
And so he shows Shane how to move through his anxiety by
going into the anxiety alongside him and then giving Shane the
tools to make his overwhelm feel smaller, and then navigate
through those challenges on his own in a way that's healthier
and makes sense to him. That bleeds into things like
Ilya knowing what Shane's favorite drink is.
The ginger ale, always making sure it's available for him,
putting dimmable lights in his own gym because Shane uses them
in his own home, buying food at the grocery store that will
appease his current diet. On the larger scale, it shows up
in Ilia giving up Russia to go to the cottage and be with
Shane. It's Ilia leaving Boston for
Ottawa and essentially imploding his hockey career in order to be
closer to Shane. It's Ilya hiding their
relationship for longer than he wants to and in a way that he
doesn't feel great about because that's what Shane wants and how
Shane can feel most comfortable. It's Ilya hiding his mental
health struggles because he doesn't want to burden Shane
with them. It's hiding that he's going to
therapy from Shane. They all compound in more
serious ways in the long game, but it's a strength that Ilya
has. His hyper vigilance because it
makes him so attuned to Shane's needs and wants and feelings and
emotions, but it's weakened by his inability to communicate and
identify those same things within himself.
Once he works through those hurdles and starts to accept
that he's not going to come last with Shane like he had within
his own family, he is able to target those positive attributes
in a healthy way that benefits Shane and Ilya both, not just
Shane at the cost of Ilya. This question is multi part so
I'll do my best to answer it. It says I'd love to hear your
insight into Shane and Ilya's emotional awareness and
availability and its growth or lack, if any.
How do they differ and how they show love?
Are there any misconceptions you've seen people have about
their relationship? So I would say both Shane and
Ilya hold mirrors up to one another throughout this story
and the series, and that is how and why they are both able to
grow in general. They're only 18 at the start of
this series and the book and still very much learning how
they navigate the world, who they are, what they stand for,
what they believe, how they wish to be perceived versus how they
present themselves. They also don't know, you know,
how much value they place on their own thoughts, feelings and
emotions. And I think there's a lack of
conviction or sense of self in both of them when they meet at
such a informative age. But because they meet when they
are so young, they also actively shape a lot of those qualities
and outlooks in one another since they're hidden and
forbidden. Relationship is an enormous
mental and emotional pillar in both of their lives.
I think they each show up and are emotionally aware of and
available to different things early on in their dynamic, and
that shifts over time. So Ilya's emotional awareness
and intelligence is arguably much higher because of his
childhood and his hyper vigilance.
Even though he is programmed to repress his own emotions and
needs, he is hyper aware of the needs and emotions of those
around him. That makes him charismatic and
alluring and interesting to everyone he meets and interacts
with, and he can adopt the personality and persona needed
to navigate a conversation with anyone, and he can shift in and
out of those personas very easily and quickly.
I think Ilya is someone who can play the role needed for any
scenario, but he struggles with Shane because Shane simply wants
him to be himself without the Shields and the walls he uses to
keep himself safe. And that makes Ilya less
emotionally available when it comes to sharing things about
himself. But he thrives off of Shane
being available to him and because of that, being in such
direct opposition to himself. It pushes Ilya outside of his
comfort zone overtime, and he envies Shane's ability to be so
honest. I think that's equality in him
that he finds really attractive because it's in such opposition
to how Ilya is. Shane being autistic means that
he's very literal and open with how he feels and thinks.
He's very honest because he can't mask in the same ways that
Ilya can. And so even when he is
attempting to hide his emotions and feelings from Ilya, Ilya is
a master at pulling information out of him and can disarm him
very quickly. So as Ilya continues to do that
to Shane, who very much operates under the guise that if he's in
control, everything is OK and that's the only way his nervous
system can feel safe, Ilia is able to show Shane that he can
still be safe when he lets go of the control.
And Ilia inches Shane further and further outside of his
comfort zone. And he does that in a way where
Shane still feels like he's in control.
And that starts within their sexual relationship and then
steadily starts showing up in their actual relationship.
Which we can see in the finale as Shane's able to work through
his anxiety attack with Ilya there as a support system, but
then face a very scary task of telling his parents about
himself. And it's in a way where Ilya
takes a backseat and let's Shane dictate exactly how the
conversation is going to go. And he encourages him quietly
and empowers Shane to use his words and do the thing that
scares him because he has Ilya saying to him, you're brave.
And Ilya empowers him to be brave.
So again, I think Shane as a partner is much more open faced
as Connor story had described him.
And his autism makes him a more literal communicator.
But his anxieties and inner conflicts in the early parts of
their relationship when they're young.
Hunger and the fear of what his feelings for Ilia might mean
make him far more avoidant of communication in those early
years and episodes that depict the start of their relationship.
He wants Ilia but doesn't know what to do with that
information, and he needs to form safety around a situation
in order to exist honestly within it.
And since he can't given the optics of their relationship, he
often keeps his thoughts internal and denies himself what
he wants by putting up boundaries that help him keep
Ilya close but maintain an emotional distance because he
thinks he needs that in order to operate within their framework.
Shane also has a deep internal conflict about who he is and how
he identifies himself, and that shapes a lot of his interactions
with Ilya and the world around him, because he cannot fully be
himself. And so he tries so hard to will
himself into becoming the person he feels obligated to be.
But over time, he realizes that he wants Ilya enough to ask for
it and fight for it in a way that makes it happen.
And in turn, he starts to show up as a partner who validates
Ilya, listens to him deeply and intently, makes him feel seen
and valued and respected. Who celebrates him, supports him
as he works through his own traumas and hang ups, and
encourages Ilya to communicate with him in episode 5 And makes
him feel safe enough to do so by fostering an environment where
Ilya's vulnerability is rewarded and celebrated.
That ability to make Ilya feel safe is what makes Shane a
perfect partner for him. Shane's directness and his
earnestness and his honesty, along with the care and effort
he puts into the time they spend together at the cottage and his
clear communication that Ilya means more to him than just
their sexual relationship relationship that's all
monumental in Ilya feeling safe and understood and loved for who
he is and not for what he provides.
Ilya had used sex largely as an escape and a release since he
was age 14, and his relationship with that was very transactional
up until Shane makes him see that his value is not dependent
upon any of that in order for Shane to love him.
Shane's affection in love is not conditional.
This question is thoughts on the change to the tuna melt scene
where Shane initiates the sex post phone call.
So yes, in the book Ilia initiates this on the couch
after he comes back into the living room.
But I do actually prefer the show change because it serves
multiple narrative functions and is used in a way to better
convey a lot of the inner dialogue and feelings that these
two characters have in the book. Shane thinks to himself multiple
times that Ilya's behavior is to tender, new, indulgent,
dangerous, weird, unfamiliar, adorable.
Those are some of the words I pulled out of the scene.
And he's so. Used to their dynamic being
rooted in sex, that Ilya venturing outside of that
framework really freaks him out. It would make sense for him to
try and regain control by moving things back into that framework,
and he has grown to feel safe within that framework.
So the show adds more layers to this by having Ilya give Shane
his own clothes to dress in. Shane had asked if they wanted
to order takeout before Ilya makes him food in the book,
whereas in the show they don't include that part.
But there's a passage in the book where Shane thinks to
himself, whatever they were to each other, they weren't
boyfriends. He knew how to behave around him
when they were naked and pressed against each other, and he knew
how to play against him on the ice, but just hanging out with
their clothes on was uncharted territory.
When Ilya pulls Shane against his chest, Shane has a thought
that resting against Rozenov like this, in his home, watching
hockey, full of the food he had just made him, this was exactly
what they weren't supposed to be doing.
This is what couples did. But it feels so good to Shane
that in the book he doesn't resist till Ilya initiates.
So in the book, Ilya is behaving in a way that is described as
gentle and patient. So then Shane ramps things up a
notch because him being gentle and patient is so unfamiliar.
And Shane also says the line, why do I need this so much out
loud in the book? And Ilya says need what?
So that wasn't included in the show version of the scene
either. When Ilya says Shane's name
while they're waiting for their hearts to stop racing, Shane in
the book thinks to himself that his heart would never stop
racing racing again because Ilia called him Shane and they were
both looking at each other with the same terror that Shane felt.
So he automatically responds to Ilia, and Ilia kisses him right
away in a different way than Shane is used to.
He describes it feeling like an apology.
Then after Ilya is stroking Shane's back and Shane's hands
are on Ilya's face and Shane doesn't know what to do, so he
goes into flight mode. And in the book, Ilya doesn't
just say Hollander. Shane says I can't, we can't.
This is trails off. And Ilya says this is nothing
Hollander, which further hurts and confuses Shane because he
thinks to himself, Hollander, you just called me Shane.
So I definitely think the show changes this for a narrative
reason, because a lot of what's going on in the scene in the
book is internal and it's not verbalized fully, so it would be
hard for them to convey the exact motions and thoughts in
the book to screen. But putting Shane in that
position where he's the one trying to bring the dynamic back
to what's familiar, I think conveys the loss of control he
feels in the book. And how he's thinking about this
is weird, this is dangerous, this is unfamiliar, this is
indulgent. And at some points, he even
thinks this is adorable, but he's again, used to their
dynamic being rooted in sex. So Ilia is venturing outside of
that framework. And that is ultimately what
scares Shane. I think I'm going to break this
into a Part 2 at this point because I have a lot of great
questions left. But they kind of should be
grouped together, I think, in a separate episode.
So we're going to end the Q&A Part 1 here.
And I will do a second one breaking down the rest of these
questions. I want to thank everyone who
sent a question in again for putting so much thought into
what you're asking me. And there's so many inventive
angles that people are approaching the story and
thinking critically about it, which I think is really fun.
And hopefully you enjoyed this half of the Q&A and my responses
to some of your questions. And I'm excited to do the part
too. So be sure to come back for
that. And again, if you have any
additional questions or topics you want me to break down,
please leave them for me on any of my socials.
I love discussing this stuff. I think it's great to have long
form content where we can flesh things out in this way.
So I will be back for Part 2 and I look forward to talking about
the rest of these questions with you guys.