1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,300
You might, for example, you grew
up with like an angry man, your 

2
00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:03,400
house, your dad's really angry 
whatever. 

3
00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:06,400
When you, then seek out 
relationships with angry. 

4
00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:11,100
Men, are you seeking to just 
replicate that Dynamic and put 

5
00:00:11,100 --> 00:00:13,800
yourself back in that cycle of 
pain because it's what, you 

6
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:19,700
know, maybe some people say or 
actually is it more about we 

7
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seek to recreate those 
relationships that we know and 

8
00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:26,400
we seek to recreate the pain 
that we already know. 

9
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So that in this instance in our 
adult life, we can take it to 

10
00:00:30,700 --> 00:00:33,400
its conclusion, fix it and 
complete it. 

11
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So if you grow up with an angry 
man in your house, you might see

12
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how angry men, not because you 
think that's healthy love. 

13
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:43,200
But because there's a part of 
you may be that things. 

14
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,600
I identify that that was an 
issue and now I'm going to take 

15
00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:49,900
it on in my adult life so that I
can complete that and fix that 

16
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:52,300
up for myself. 
I'm gonna take that to its 

17
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:53,500
conclusion. 
I'm going to end that cycle, 

18
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:57,700
especially when it comes to 
romantic relationships, that 

19
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idea of what people think. 
They want and what they truly 

20
00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:05,500
like are attracted to and desire
often, like so different. 

21
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:07,500
Yeah. 
And also who are we tonight? 

22
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My business who I want, who I 
think I want doesn't make sense 

23
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is like, kind of inconvenient or
like, its it how many times 

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we've been like that. 
I just wish I liked that person.

25
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There that's really nice and 
great. 

26
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:22,900
He's great. 
He likes me and he's at all 

27
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stuff, but I don't. 
Feel and the person that you do 

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like is some fucking like why I 
was like my red flag. 

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I think it just feels like 
something that I just seen 

30
00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:40,100
throughout so many men and I 
just think I is not something 

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that I it does seem to be 
something that I see Cal but 

32
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every single time, it's a 
problem. 

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So I think it would be good for 
me to like, not go for that. 

34
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But there is clearly some kind 
of drawer if there's something 

35
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that we see as a problem, but as
an adult, maybe this is my 

36
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:04,200
chance to make that, right? 
And correct it. 

37
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,000
That's what I find interesting, 
is the tension between what you 

38
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find attractive, and what you 
find repellent, there's a 

39
00:02:09,907 --> 00:02:13,800
tension there of like, okay, 
that tray or that behavior is 

40
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,600
risky for me and I wanted. 
Yeah, if it goes a certain way, 

41
00:02:17,608 --> 00:02:18,900
I hate it. 
Yeah. 

42
00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:22,100
And if it works out, I love it 
and I want it. 

43
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:24,700
I don't love it. 
There's no bit. 

44
00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:30,100
Goes without saying you 
listening to go to that saying 

45
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:32,600
and Wing. 
I'm waiting, and I'm sappy. 

46
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:36,100
This is quite, you know, weighty
episode. 

47
00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:39,500
We're going about as far as you 
can go publicly on the internet 

48
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without completely yourself. 
Nothing in particular. 

49
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:46,600
Just some generational trauma 
just concepts of what we saw. 

50
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,600
Our parents do mistakes that 
were made things. 

51
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:53,500
We don't want to recreate red 
flags that we identify as things

52
00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:58,000
that we don't necessarily 
objectively see as healthy and 

53
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,800
yet we're still drawn to them. 
And also what makes our Dynamics

54
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,700
so special and work together in 
Perfect Harmony. 

55
00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:06,900
I really liked this episode, I 
feel like it's a very thoughtful

56
00:03:06,900 --> 00:03:12,900
intriguing, kind of opening a 
can of worms of an episode. 

57
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So enjoy Good. 
We've just been talking about 

58
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,400
the last of us, which that's 
kind of in my brain now. 

59
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,300
Yeah, I also watched something 
the other day, which I feel like

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00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:26,100
I was speaking about not that 
long ago and it definitely is a 

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00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:30,000
weird thing for me to bring up 
and even weirder to bring it up 

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00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,400
twice in the kind of succession 
that I have. 

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Or, like, I just shouldn't be 
thinking about it. 

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00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:36,500
That much a show at the moment. 
Hmm. 

65
00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:39,300
Okay. 
I the other day I had on, I 

66
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:42,300
don't, I don't know why I wrote 
that doctor who I feel like 

67
00:03:42,308 --> 00:03:43,508
everyone's watching Doctor. 
Who at the moment? 

68
00:03:43,516 --> 00:03:46,300
Really? 
I don't know why, is it a new 

69
00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:47,800
thing? 
I think there's a new one. 

70
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,500
Yeah, but I'm not watching the 
new one. 

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00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:52,200
Which one are you watch it? 
And I watched I watched one 

72
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,200
episode in particular where I 
was literally like this is 

73
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:58,300
weeping angels TV. 
Gosh. 

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00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:00,800
What not? 
Weaving ages, you'll know it 

75
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,400
immediately. 
It's the game show one. 

76
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,200
There's a bit where it's like 
stars in their eyes and they go 

77
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:08,300
blind. 
Yeah, they do. 

78
00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:10,600
They do big brother and they 
are. 

79
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:13,800
You alive on channel, 444 
whatever. 

80
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,399
Please do not sweat. 
They like Really go for it and 

81
00:04:16,408 --> 00:04:19,700
they do. 
And we could slink with Android.

82
00:04:19,700 --> 00:04:21,899
Oh my God. 
So good. 

83
00:04:21,899 --> 00:04:24,800
What was the other one? 
Oh, it's fucking trendy and 

84
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,400
Susanna with that loser. 
I don't like that. 

85
00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:31,400
Who's the like American Eagle 
guy that loser? 

86
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:35,100
Just the guys that really smarmy
so many. 

87
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:38,200
And basically growing up my mum 
had always been like mmm, 

88
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:41,100
everyone finds him attractive 
and I don't, and getting into 

89
00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:42,400
the episode. 
I took it on. 

90
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:44,200
And was like, yeah, either. 
I was like nine. 

91
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:48,000
Yeah, I don't, I so Truman. 
Yeah, everything you say is so 

92
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:51,600
Drive, definitely done that with
Matthew McConaughey Matthew 

93
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,000
McConaughey? 
Yeah, my mom said, I know you 

94
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,600
kind of a niche takes. 
She said he looks like he smells

95
00:04:56,608 --> 00:04:59,300
of pits. 
And now what I look at Matthew 

96
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,700
McConaughey, I can kind of smell
this. 

97
00:05:02,700 --> 00:05:05,600
My mum was always like, Brad 
Pitt is just not for me and I 

98
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:11,200
was just really good. 
Like yeah, just I'm just I think

99
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:15,400
he's for me, I think he's for 
me, I hear ya doctor. 

100
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:18,100
I just thought that's a fucking,
this is great TV. 

101
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:21,900
It fucking, you know, I've only 
rewatched, I rewatched the 

102
00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:23,800
Weeping. 
Angels one blink, I believe it's

103
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,800
called or something like that. 
So good and that I genuinely 

104
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,900
think is like, fucking genius 
with like, the time Loop 

105
00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:32,400
situation, is so fucking good. 
So good. 

106
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,900
Insane, Karen as well. 
I just when they lift the 

107
00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:37,200
wallpaper, it says dark and she 
dark since we were kids. 

108
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,700
Like what? 
So good. 

109
00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:42,600
My like 10 year old brain could 
nuke my. 

110
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,100
I watched it like three years 
ago at my 25 year old brain 

111
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:47,900
can't cope. 
I'm just like how done this. 

112
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,700
Genius. 
It's fine art. 

113
00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:52,900
And then at the end, it's like 
something about they're reading 

114
00:05:52,908 --> 00:05:56,600
these transcripts, but they're 
replying to the and when he 

115
00:05:56,608 --> 00:05:59,300
reads them, you have a 
conversation but then the 

116
00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:02,500
conversation with himself 
through a TV Fucking clever. 

117
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:05,400
So good. 
I know we spoke about Doctor Who

118
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:10,900
reasonably when not I said that 
they they said something was gay

119
00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:12,900
or something and I was I was 
watching it. 

120
00:06:12,900 --> 00:06:15,800
That can't be recent weeks ago. 
That must be like a year ago, 

121
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:25,500
maybe, what time is. 
Oh my god, when you Time is you 

122
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:29,200
know what is time fun up? 
We've got ahead. 

123
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,700
Who was your favorite? 
Sorry back today. 

124
00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:35,200
Who was your favorite sister? 
I think probably Billie Piper. 

125
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,300
Yeah I think it just has to be, 
doesn't it? 

126
00:06:37,300 --> 00:06:39,800
I think that was the most God. 
I was watching One the other. 

127
00:06:39,808 --> 00:06:43,500
Yeah. 
Watching on the other. 

128
00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:44,400
I can't remember what maybe it 
was. 

129
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,900
The game one or it was one after
yeah. 

130
00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:49,800
But she I just thought that's 
the most beautiful on the planet

131
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,800
in my life. 
Yeah they'd put her in like 

132
00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:53,800
everything was gold. 
Like she looked like she was 

133
00:06:53,808 --> 00:06:56,700
made of gold and like it was 
just kind of iridescent and I 

134
00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:59,200
just thought perfect. 
Perfect. 

135
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,600
Yeah, it was the Union Jack 
t-shirt that she was very much. 

136
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,200
I remember thinking God your 
core. 

137
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:05,800
Now it would have a different 
ring to it. 

138
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:10,400
Maybe I saw you inject t-shirt 
but there's one Queen Victoria 

139
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,500
and she's in like a kind of 
crown jewels like in dungarees. 

140
00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:18,300
She was so cool. 
I used to be like when you're 

141
00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:21,600
playing like imaginary games as 
a kid, my name was always Mary 

142
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:27,000
for if it wasn't very it would 
be right, Billy? 

143
00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:29,800
And everyone's like why did you 
want to be called a boy's name? 

144
00:07:29,808 --> 00:07:33,700
And I'm like, you just don't get
it, don't get it Billie. 

145
00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:36,700
Piper also best thing, a girl 
can have as a boy's name but 

146
00:07:36,700 --> 00:07:39,200
Billy is not. 
Maybe of Billy with a wife for a

147
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:43,400
girl, but maybe For, I mean, if 
you're Billie Piper, I mean, I'm

148
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,700
not posed. 
I love her. 

149
00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:47,500
She's like so. 
Yeah, I don't know. 

150
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:50,900
Yeah, that's where I've been at.
Yeah, just been all over these 

151
00:07:56,700 --> 00:08:00,700
Um, what about you? 
I've been more grounded here. 

152
00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:04,900
I would say, I've been very much
in The Last of Us Vibes. 

153
00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:07,000
That's kind of far. 
I've been, I've been, I've been 

154
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,100
in Chelsea Made in Chelsea Wilde
as well. 

155
00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:14,000
So much crazy shit going on and 
I can't believe they're still 

156
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,600
going to it. 
Oh God, boys, it's still going. 

157
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:21,100
Oh, this guy's like, oh, there's
a guy called Freddy that like I 

158
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:25,000
won't I think he if he was ever 
to hear this God he would I 

159
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,700
don't think he could even defend
himself. 

160
00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:30,000
He's The Biggest Loser I've ever
like he's like some thing and 

161
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:33,000
running for the royal family 
like he's like something in line

162
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,600
to the throne and he is horrific
like he just treats this girl so

163
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:41,000
horrendously like he's awful. 
But basically was there a time 

164
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,200
where we spoke about made in the
podcast and you were kind of 

165
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,600
saying you basically you've got 
yourself into a bit of a pickle 

166
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,700
because you kind of said 
somebody was hot but you didn't 

167
00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:50,600
really mean it and then someone 
messaged me like wait that's my 

168
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:59,900
yeah not the notation you. 
Was on it for like and one 

169
00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:02,300
summer, I was like he's hot and 
then someone messed me being 

170
00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:04,700
like, Oh yeah, we know her but I
actually didn't think, right? 

171
00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:08,800
And he's old was but if you're 
on Made in Chelsea, like you're 

172
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:16,700
limited, you're limiting 
yourself, you can't just You 

173
00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:17,100
Captain? 
Yeah. 

174
00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:18,800
You taking the foundation paper?
Yeah. 

175
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,808
All right. 
Well, just a little bit. 

176
00:09:20,816 --> 00:09:22,600
That's what we've been there 
today. 

177
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:26,600
Just a little bit of like 
parents and stuff. 

178
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:36,100
We just had a pre-conversion of 
sticking on Main in Chelsea 

179
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:37,200
territory. 
Oh good. 

180
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:40,500
I'm so sorry. 
Like about Made in Chelsea being

181
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:44,800
like a saying I'm so sorry it's 
talking point because I'm 

182
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:48,700
feeding the the industry know 
what else is what? 

183
00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:52,800
Unfortunately, I think you're 
the best of a bad bunch. 

184
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:59,800
I would love to speak to the bad
Bunch but no really nobody. 

185
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,800
Well, it is a bit. 
Like what you? 

186
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:05,000
This is my point. 
It was like, I'm in 2014. 

187
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,100
Is it actually any? 
Is it actually, is it shit now? 

188
00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:10,700
It's incredible. 
Why would I watch something 

189
00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:17,000
shit? 
But like it's the my longest 

190
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,900
running dedication to any show. 
Well that's why I think you 

191
00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:21,100
might be watching something 
share. 

192
00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:25,000
Yeah I wouldn't put it past me 
or just almost like reality TV 

193
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:29,300
off and has its Heyday. 
Oh like the Heyday has one 

194
00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:33,400
really passed but it's still. 
Oh God, it's still got it. 

195
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:37,000
Oh boy. 
Okay girl. 

196
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,700
Okay, so yeah, saying kind of a 
Made in Chelsea world. 

197
00:10:39,700 --> 00:10:43,800
I came from I stumbled upon 
Jamie, Laing talking to. 

198
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,600
I should have checked this guy's
name. 

199
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,900
I think his name is something 
like Elaine dibos. 

200
00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:50,000
Sorry, I love. 
And every time I've said it 

201
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:53,100
safely, I've put that same voice
on because I think he's French 

202
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:57,800
and that believe it or not is my
iteration of French. 

203
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:03,000
Know, it's not a lane of it, 
huh? 

204
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,000
Oh, you know what? 
It's a man on podcast. 

205
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,700
Some guy, he's written a book, 
He's on Jamie likes popcorn. 

206
00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:11,300
He doesn't need the publicists 
say from us. 

207
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:17,200
Yeah, he I saw this little clip 
and it was Jamie talking about 

208
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,700
him and his wife so fee, hams 
lovely, lovely dubbed? 

209
00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:22,800
Yeah. 
And he was basically talking 

210
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:26,000
about, he sometimes mothers her 
and she kind of like pushed him 

211
00:11:26,008 --> 00:11:28,200
away because and he said, 
because she doesn't need it 

212
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:30,100
because she grew up with her 
parents being really loving 

213
00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:32,500
towards her. 
Whereas he felt like kind of 

214
00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:35,000
rejected as a child. 
I don't want to put words in his

215
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,000
mouth about that sort of the 
dress. 

216
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:47,900
And this guy, the I think I've 
literally so there's that it's 

217
00:11:47,900 --> 00:11:53,400
like kind of Alan but French or 
is it Elaine the page? 

218
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:58,700
It's not La, it's kind of blah 
blah, right? 

219
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:03,800
Let's fucking try this Elaine de
botton, even worse. 

220
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:07,400
Okay, I'm thinking to both of 
that woman, as her name, Arianna

221
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:09,600
or something, I don't know. 
I did anyway. 

222
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:13,400
All right, then this guy was 
like, look, I reckon there's 

223
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:17,500
something, you know and then 
Jamie said, oh well when Sophie 

224
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:20,200
was younger her dad actually 
used to smother her a little bit

225
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,800
and she fell like a bit 
annoying. 

226
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,800
You kind of bat him away and 
this guy I'm calling Elaine 

227
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:27,800
Devoe said. 
Well, it sounds like you know 

228
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:30,200
even though she was kind of 
showered with love and that's so

229
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:31,500
nice. 
She was, you know, there was no 

230
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:38,000
kind of absence of affection, 
maybe her her mood or like you 

231
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,700
know personal space or privacy 
wasn't respected. 

232
00:12:40,700 --> 00:12:43,100
When it was kind of like you 
know she's not in the mood to be

233
00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:46,100
like smothered or whatever and 
that wasn't, it wasn't taking 

234
00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:49,200
into account how she might feel 
in the moment but interestingly,

235
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,800
he said and this was the bit 
that I was like hook. 

236
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:55,300
This is right? 
Remember your name. 

237
00:12:55,300 --> 00:13:01,500
But I'll stick with this so he 
basically said I wonder if you 

238
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:04,500
and Sophie Jamie Laing and 
Sophie or I wonder if you and 

239
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:09,300
your wife have this kind of 
perfect Balancing Act where she 

240
00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:13,400
pushes you away as much as you 
need to recognize that that is 

241
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:17,800
loved. 
And she feels that smothering 

242
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:22,300
from you as much as she needs to
recognize that that is love sort

243
00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:26,300
of thing and it went on to him, 
basically saying that often we 

244
00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:28,700
talk about like and this is kind
of what me and stuff. 

245
00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:30,500
We were saying before we started
recording often. 

246
00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:33,200
We talk about, you see your 
parents do a certain thing or 

247
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:36,000
your early experience is and 
your early viewing of the world 

248
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,900
shape. 
How you perceive love and 

249
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:41,900
romance and relationships, and 
what they'll look like for you 

250
00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:45,900
and often we talk about. 
Oh, you replicate and kind of 

251
00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:48,100
recreate the patterns that you 
experienced. 

252
00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:50,100
As a child, the things that you 
saw you're going to recreate 

253
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:53,600
that. 
And this guy Elaine debose was 

254
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,308
saying, you might. 
For example, you grow up with 

255
00:13:55,316 --> 00:13:57,500
like an angry man, your house, 
your dad's really angry 

256
00:13:57,500 --> 00:13:59,300
whatever. 
When you, then seek out, 

257
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:02,200
relationships with angry men, 
and this is where I think it 

258
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:06,600
gets interesting. 
He says, are you seeking to just

259
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:10,400
replicate that Dynamic and put 
yourself back in that cycle of 

260
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:14,500
pain because it's what, you 
know, maybe some people say or 

261
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:19,100
actually is it more about we 
seek to recreate those 

262
00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:23,300
relationships that we know and 
we seek to recreate the pain 

263
00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:26,500
that we already know. 
So that in this instance in our 

264
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:30,400
adult life, we can take it to 
its conclusion, fix it and 

265
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:33,200
complete it. 
So, if you grow up with an angry

266
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:36,500
man and your house, you might 
see how angry men not because 

267
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:40,000
you think that's healthy love. 
But because there's a part of 

268
00:14:40,008 --> 00:14:42,800
you maybe that thinks I identify
that that was an issue. 

269
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:46,000
And now I'm going to take it on 
in my adult life so that I can 

270
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,500
complete that and fix that off 
for myself. 

271
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:50,200
I'm gonna take that to its 
conclusion. 

272
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:53,500
I'm going to end that Michael. 
And I guess that has been said a

273
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:55,700
thousand times in terms of like,
you feel like, you know, way 

274
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:58,900
though totally in a different 
way I want like, you know, I 

275
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:02,000
want kind of a bad but I want to
fix here but that's too serious.

276
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:05,900
Yeah, because that's not, that's
almost like it's not giving the 

277
00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:08,600
thing to the cycle and the 
personal trauma, that's just 

278
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:10,000
being like, Oh, everyone's a bad
boy. 

279
00:15:10,008 --> 00:15:13,300
It's like, it's not great, it's 
not quite that. 

280
00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:16,000
It's more than That it's more 
interesting. 

281
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:20,000
And in the sense it's more like 
I think compassionate to 

282
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,400
yourself, to be able to identify
that in a way. 

283
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:27,800
You're kind of maybe, like 
foolishly But maybe trying to 

284
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:30,600
look out for your younger self 
that had to experience this 

285
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,400
negative painful relationship 
and make it right? 

286
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:38,100
So you don't have to feel that 
trauma anymore so that you can 

287
00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:42,900
fix that pattern and it's not 
because people think oh, I yeah 

288
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,600
angry man. 
That's great. 

289
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:46,600
I love that. 
They know that it's painful and 

290
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,100
they know that it's horrible. 
And they know that it's 

291
00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:53,100
unhealthy, but there's nothing 
more desirable for that person, 

292
00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:55,800
maybe in that moment, to have 
this angry, man in front of them

293
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:57,900
and that anger, man. 
Be like, I'm gonna work through 

294
00:15:57,900 --> 00:15:59,100
this together. 
Fixed. 

295
00:15:59,100 --> 00:16:01,100
What? 
Like, oh my God. 

296
00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:03,600
You've saved me from my dad when
I was. 

297
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,700
Yeah, not me but, like, Crazy. 
Yeah. 

298
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:10,200
And also trying to save kind of 
your parents, I think, like a 

299
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:13,200
lot of it will be, like, almost 
like looking at what, your mom 

300
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,700
went through and trying to be 
like, what, what are the ways in

301
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:19,800
which I can follow that path and
then save it basically the last 

302
00:16:19,808 --> 00:16:20,900
minute. 
I think it just makes perfect 

303
00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:22,400
sense. 
It's really interesting. 

304
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,400
It's very interesting. 
I know we talked about this but 

305
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:28,300
I think adding that extra step 
of, like, you don't just want to

306
00:16:28,308 --> 00:16:31,000
recreate it and then, you know, 
the conversation ends there, 

307
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:36,400
it's like you want to find it, 
replicate it and make it right? 

308
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,700
So that you don't have to 
experience the pain from it 

309
00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:41,100
anymore. 
Break the cycle break the cycle,

310
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,100
break the wheel, break the wheel
bearing. 

311
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:48,500
So, so definitely, I'm in love 
with the whole with Alan's whole

312
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:51,200
proposal Elaine debut with 
Elaine, debose his whole 

313
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:55,400
proposal here, we had some 
conversations about our own kind

314
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:59,000
of experiences and like the 
things that we like, patterns 

315
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:03,200
that we recognize, but don't 
want to do it on the Pod. 

316
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:07,200
Yeah, I'm so sorry. 
No, totally there. 

317
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,599
I was saying I this all came to 
me last year. 

318
00:17:09,599 --> 00:17:14,000
It's very quick turnaround and I
saw this thing and then just 

319
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,200
kind of moved on with my life 
and then got on this and I just 

320
00:17:17,208 --> 00:17:19,599
like I haven't had a chance to 
what I really want to do is I 

321
00:17:19,599 --> 00:17:22,599
sit down and I briefly spoke 
about my boyfriend last night. 

322
00:17:22,599 --> 00:17:24,500
How interesting. 
And we were kind of like letting

323
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:26,800
him know he's interesting and we
were all. 

324
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:30,500
So kind of picking people from 
our lives that I would do on the

325
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:35,800
Pod being like, Oh I can see why
that girl her dad was like that,

326
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:41,600
and now she's chosen to have, 
this makes perfect sense and I 

327
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,700
do think if it's not judgmental 
and actually Passionate. 

328
00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:47,000
It is really also, interesting, 
is serious. 

329
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:52,700
We're curious cases of people 
doing weird stuff and I think as

330
00:17:52,700 --> 00:17:55,900
well sometimes people have an 
idea about the things that they 

331
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:58,900
do or don't like or like, oh, 
this is the thing that I always 

332
00:17:58,900 --> 00:18:02,700
do, I always go for dinner and 
maybe that is an Acura, I always

333
00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:04,800
ambitious of things like that 
because I feel like that there 

334
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,900
is such people get attached to 
narratives. 

335
00:18:06,900 --> 00:18:09,800
We spoke about this a million 
times in terms of like type 

336
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,200
conversations. 
That's my type. 

337
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,800
That's my time, but especially 
like it's sort of the morning 

338
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,200
person thing of like oh I always
go. 

339
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,800
I always go for this kind of 
person. 

340
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,900
I I am just this sort of person 
that I need. 

341
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:23,700
Someone that does this. 
It's like You don't know what 

342
00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:27,300
you like, like, I really, really
think like, especially when it 

343
00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:32,900
comes to romantic relationships,
the idea of what people think 

344
00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:36,900
they want, and what they truly 
like are attracted to and desire

345
00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:39,800
often, like so different. 
Yeah. 

346
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:42,300
Yeah. 
And also, who are we tonight? 

347
00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:45,300
Oh my business who I want, who I
think I want. 

348
00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:49,800
Who wants that actually have 
those feelings for is often? 

349
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,400
Doesn't make sense. 
It often is like kind of 

350
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:56,100
inconvenient or like it's or 
would be like how many times 

351
00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:58,500
we've been like oh I just wish I
liked, I don't know. 

352
00:18:58,508 --> 00:19:00,600
Like kind of wish I like that 
person. 

353
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,500
There that's really nice and 
great. 

354
00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:06,800
He's greatly and 100% my type on
paper whatever. 

355
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,000
Yeah. 
Right. 

356
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,200
He likes me and he's at all the 
stuff that I don't. 

357
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,600
Feel it and the person that you 
do like is some fucking like, 

358
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,600
why they probably isn't this 
weird cycle. 

359
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:20,000
I think it, I think a lot of it 
and it comes from somewhere. 

360
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,600
Yeah. 
But I also think, when people 

361
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,800
talk about the things that 
they're drawn to, it's very 

362
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:27,100
flattering, like they'll people 
speak with a very flattering. 

363
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:28,600
Yeah. 
But it comes with a very 

364
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:31,600
flattering place of like, what 
it, I'm just drawn to someone 

365
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:36,900
who is hardworking and rugged 
and it's like, no, I don't see 

366
00:19:36,900 --> 00:19:38,500
it like that. 
Like you know what I mean? 

367
00:19:38,508 --> 00:19:40,100
Like it doesn't. 
They're not looking rugged to 

368
00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:41,800
me. 
They're looking like, they're 

369
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,900
not that interested in you or 
like, Johnny, something like 

370
00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:46,900
that. 
Like there's people like people 

371
00:19:46,900 --> 00:19:50,900
that are quite detached. 
Like we were just so I was like,

372
00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:53,500
we can talk about Jamie took the
cows come home. 

373
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:56,900
Okay, I've been watching 
famously for like my whole life 

374
00:19:56,900 --> 00:20:00,700
and I have seen Jamie his 
patterns of relationships 

375
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,800
throughout that show have been 
chasing chasing chasing. 

376
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:07,200
The second, he gets the, he 
cheats on them, like that has 

377
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:10,100
been the pattern that has. 
I don't know The Narrative of 

378
00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:15,500
that show and his Like character
has been that he pursues a girl 

379
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:20,600
like with everything wins them, 
kind of conquers them and it 

380
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,200
sleeps with them, has them as 
his girlfriend then treats on 

381
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,500
them and moves on to whoever 
like that. 

382
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:29,300
Is it perfectly describes this, 
like cycle that he's just said, 

383
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:31,700
but like, yeah, I'm glad I've 
seen the growth in him. 

384
00:20:31,708 --> 00:20:35,900
Now that, you know, he seems 
like he's not, he's being in 

385
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:37,600
that weird cycle but like, it 
makes sense. 

386
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:38,900
That's why someone that pulls 
away. 

387
00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:42,800
Yeah, so interesting to know 
that for him romance and love 

388
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:47,400
looks like him feels like, 
Chasing for somebody's attention

389
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,900
because maybe like, for example,
he says, you know, like being 

390
00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:54,600
sent to boarding school when he 
insane or like, you know, just 

391
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,600
vowing for like his parents 
attention and not necessarily 

392
00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:01,800
receiving it in the way that it 
seems like he needed has created

393
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,700
someone who acts in a certain 
way, but I also think when 

394
00:21:05,700 --> 00:21:09,900
you're in that behavior, it's 
very hard to identify. 

395
00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:12,600
And this is why I was saying, 
like, I didn't have the chance 

396
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,600
to get into, I want to, I want 
to sit down, not necessarily 

397
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:19,300
now, on the Pod, but in my own 
life, I want to, you know, draw 

398
00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:23,700
a few conclusions of like that. 
Is that, yeah, balancing act 

399
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,300
that me and my boyfriend have 
got going away. 

400
00:21:25,300 --> 00:21:29,000
He doesn't this just enough to 
make me feel like I like and I 

401
00:21:29,008 --> 00:21:31,900
do this, just enough to make him
feel like, yeah, like sort of 

402
00:21:31,900 --> 00:21:33,600
thing. 
I wonder what it is. 

403
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:37,600
Mmm, it is. 
I think it's, you know, so many 

404
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:39,000
things. 
I don't think it ever just for 

405
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:42,100
people comes down to, like, one 
thing of like, you are drawn to 

406
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:43,300
an alcoholic. 
No, no. 

407
00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:45,400
And there's nothing more to be 
said it. 

408
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,400
Doesn't need to be that like 
push and pull because I feel 

409
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,900
like that, for example, in the 
situation they describe I would 

410
00:21:50,900 --> 00:21:54,600
find that very, I don't know. 
It's kind of like it's all about

411
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,600
pulling in and pulling back, 
like it's kind of quite 

412
00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:00,700
simplistic view of relationships
of like the attachment style 

413
00:22:00,700 --> 00:22:04,600
thing of being like he's he's 
avoiding and he's anxious like 

414
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,500
that. 
It's kind of got that ring to 

415
00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:08,400
it, which I don't mind. 
I do think there's a lot of 

416
00:22:08,408 --> 00:22:09,800
Truth in it, but I don't, I 
think there's. 

417
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:14,200
Yeah, so much more than just 
like, But she's avoiding he's 

418
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:15,200
anxious. 
There's an out. 

419
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,000
You had now. 
Collect dad and there's so now 

420
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,900
you're gonna well I think it's 
like not even about necessarily 

421
00:22:20,900 --> 00:22:25,300
like they want someone who 
pushes so you push and they and 

422
00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:26,500
you need someone who pulls and 
they pull. 

423
00:22:26,500 --> 00:22:29,100
I think it could be like you 
want someone who pushes and they

424
00:22:29,100 --> 00:22:33,200
push and they need someone who 
twists and a new twist and you 

425
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:36,700
need someone who pops it and 
they bop it sort of more than 

426
00:22:36,700 --> 00:22:39,300
just two. 
I don't, you know, I mean, it's 

427
00:22:39,300 --> 00:22:41,600
not necessarily like yeah, like 
you say that simple. 

428
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,400
I think it, but I think you can 
find. 

429
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,000
For example, we always say 
perfect harmony. 

430
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:49,200
There's something about our 
Dynamic, where, when one of us 

431
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,000
is doing something that other 
one can lift and the other. 

432
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,300
Yeah, I mean, there's like a 
swing and okay, well maybe, 

433
00:22:55,300 --> 00:22:58,100
let's do it for each other. 
Like what should we try and walk

434
00:22:58,100 --> 00:23:01,200
out? 
That is that, well, that's gone 

435
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:04,400
looking one. 
Well, you said an interesting 

436
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:07,900
thing and a while ago that 
someone had said to that, you 

437
00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:10,600
and your sister have both ended 
up in like, kind of creative 

438
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:11,300
partnership. 
Yeah. 

439
00:23:11,300 --> 00:23:14,900
Oh my God. 
This was and I was my like, 

440
00:23:14,900 --> 00:23:18,100
she's like my mom's friend, but 
she's like, oh my friend's mom, 

441
00:23:18,100 --> 00:23:23,300
and she's kind of family. 
So like we and she's also like 

442
00:23:23,300 --> 00:23:31,000
the local post one. 
She's like, okay, like lovely. 

443
00:23:32,300 --> 00:23:36,500
Julie, that was just yeah. 
That was just so like kind of a 

444
00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:38,900
town like oh, and she also runs 
the bakery. 

445
00:23:38,900 --> 00:23:43,300
Her name is Julie and Julie was 
saying to me. 

446
00:23:43,300 --> 00:23:48,300
So I worked actually at a 
community Cafe and she came in 

447
00:23:48,300 --> 00:23:50,300
and had lunch and I was like, 
fucking I'll take my break now 

448
00:23:50,300 --> 00:23:53,800
and I have lunch with him. 
And she was like, this was two 

449
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,000
years ago, two years ago, 
however, and I was sitting with 

450
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,600
her and she was like, it's so 
funny that you have the podcast 

451
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:02,300
you and Aaron have this. 
Like she never met him but no so

452
00:24:02,300 --> 00:24:06,000
much everyone knows you know 
staff and she's like, it's so 

453
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,600
funny that you have this like 
podcast that you do with your 

454
00:24:07,608 --> 00:24:12,400
friend and then my sister, she 
is like, she's an artist and she

455
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:16,300
like works with her best friend 
like they work really strongly 

456
00:24:16,300 --> 00:24:18,700
together and they do everything 
together with stuff, blah, blah.

457
00:24:18,700 --> 00:24:22,000
And Julie was like, I do you 
think there's something about 

458
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:27,500
you, both seeking Sisterhood in 
your son, French ships, like 

459
00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:29,800
throughout your life? 
Are you seeking that like same 

460
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:33,500
clothes that you have like 
You're just like that, what you 

461
00:24:33,500 --> 00:24:36,100
replicate and like, that is what
your friendships become that. 

462
00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:40,100
Like, but I think, like, why are
we like, Let's start business. 

463
00:24:40,100 --> 00:24:42,200
Like that's quite yeah, I don't 
know. 

464
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,800
But it is a nice thought, the 
fact that these two sisters grew

465
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,700
up and in their Endeavors, 
they've both kind of like done 

466
00:24:49,700 --> 00:24:52,100
things with the car. 
I don't know anyone else that 

467
00:24:52,100 --> 00:24:54,600
has done that other than her, so
it's kind of a specific. 

468
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:56,500
Yeah. 
But then I almost feel like, is 

469
00:24:56,500 --> 00:24:59,600
it sort of replicating. 
The thing of being like, us in 

470
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:01,300
our childhood bedroom, being 
like, let's start Sweet Shop. 

471
00:25:01,300 --> 00:25:05,300
We can sell, like, share the 
lemons, to all the neighbors. 

472
00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:09,500
It's kind of like, we've just 
gone and done that as I think. 

473
00:25:09,500 --> 00:25:12,200
So, like, yeah, I don't know 
because I didn't, I'd never 

474
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,400
identified that we'd both done 
that and then when she said it, 

475
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,500
I was like, yeah, that is kind 
of a specific. 

476
00:25:16,500 --> 00:25:19,100
Oh, I sort of thought that 
everyone did that and I was 

477
00:25:19,108 --> 00:25:20,700
like, oh wait, I don't even 
single up. 

478
00:25:20,700 --> 00:25:23,900
That's why it's difficult for me
because I'm kind of like oh well

479
00:25:23,900 --> 00:25:27,800
everyone does that, but if I 
zoom out, I don't know as well. 

480
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:32,200
The people that I know who are 
kind of in partnership's, When 

481
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:36,300
necessarily friends first know, 
and it was like, kind of career 

482
00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:40,400
partners that have come like and
also in the essence of both, 

483
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:44,200
those Partnerships like the core
of it is the friendship like we,

484
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:48,100
this this was born. 
This is not the word, you know, 

485
00:25:48,100 --> 00:25:57,800
like this is um, Like the core 
of this is our friendship and 

486
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:01,500
very much the same for them, 
like it's just weird. 

487
00:26:01,500 --> 00:26:04,900
Yeah, it is really interesting. 
I think because as well, I'm 

488
00:26:04,900 --> 00:26:06,700
gonna speak in a hypothetical 
sense now. 

489
00:26:06,700 --> 00:26:09,100
So it's not necessarily about 
you or whatever your childhood. 

490
00:26:09,100 --> 00:26:12,900
Yeah, but it feels like it would
be nice in the sense that you 

491
00:26:12,900 --> 00:26:18,000
have like, you you seek out. 
I'm literally saying you like 

492
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,000
and I've said, it's 
hypothetical. 

493
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,200
But yeah. 
Who else could? 

494
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:24,600
It could be you. 
Sounds like you guys happy? 

495
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:29,100
Yeah, it I feel like it is kind 
of nice that you feel safe or 

496
00:26:29,100 --> 00:26:32,700
secure. 
Like you kind of grew up in ya, 

497
00:26:32,700 --> 00:26:36,900
like having that like fun and 
that burst something that you 

498
00:26:36,900 --> 00:26:41,000
want to do with, you know, 
should I mean? 

499
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:42,500
Just nice. 
Yeah. 

500
00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:46,900
No, that feels true. 
Like, that's kind of exactly it.

501
00:26:46,900 --> 00:26:49,600
I just sort of had an put that, 
I don't know. 

502
00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:53,500
I think it's like, A certain 
thing of like maybe not seeing 

503
00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:57,400
that relationship is that 
influential like you know, when 

504
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:01,800
you are, I don't know. 
Yeah, my family is everything, 

505
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,700
like it's literally in me. 
Like that's almost it's not it's

506
00:27:04,700 --> 00:27:07,700
not an extension of me almost 
like it kind of we are sort of 

507
00:27:07,708 --> 00:27:12,200
one beer, it's like almost don't
really think of it as like My 

508
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,900
relationship with Lizzie impact,
like, kind of being something 

509
00:27:15,900 --> 00:27:18,900
that it's almost like God, it's 
where I could be like God, 

510
00:27:18,900 --> 00:27:22,200
there's friendship, I had in my 
teenage years has made me. 

511
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:25,000
Yes, I just almost, you know, 
when something is so big that 

512
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,500
you can't even see it. 
I think because it's so 

513
00:27:27,500 --> 00:27:30,900
intrinsic to who you are. 
Always had that like, it's never

514
00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:34,300
been hated. 
It's almost I cannot picture not

515
00:27:34,300 --> 00:27:38,100
having that relationship and I 
it's everything but like it's 

516
00:27:38,100 --> 00:27:40,800
hard to measure the. 
Yeah of it because you don't 

517
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:44,500
know where that impact ends 
because it's so much of who you 

518
00:27:44,500 --> 00:27:46,200
are. 
Yeah, it was almost like God. 

519
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,000
I didn't even think of it as a 
dynamic, you know? 

520
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,000
Oh, it's totally a dynamic. 
And I think as well, what is 

521
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:55,100
what shows is like, I know a lot
of people who wouldn't 

522
00:27:55,100 --> 00:27:58,200
necessarily say that they grew 
up in a dynamic with their 

523
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,000
siblings, where it was like a 
healthy. 

524
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,800
Hmm. 
And like, when your kids, it's 

525
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:04,100
whatever. 
Yeah, we literally would like 

526
00:28:04,100 --> 00:28:06,800
this shake. 
I've got scars to show that. 

527
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:11,300
But I think a lot of people 
their big reflection on their 

528
00:28:11,300 --> 00:28:16,400
siblings would be like we were 
in competition or was you know I

529
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:20,400
mean and I think that is really 
important in informing. 

530
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:23,700
Yeah. 
Relationships and making sure 

531
00:28:23,700 --> 00:28:25,200
that like we're not in 
competition. 

532
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:29,100
I think that's actually one of 
the things that my mum did 

533
00:28:29,100 --> 00:28:32,100
really well to give her some 
praise and I always think it's a

534
00:28:32,100 --> 00:28:33,800
symptom of having a single 
parent household. 

535
00:28:34,500 --> 00:28:38,800
Like it, it becomes such a unit,
like the almost the dynamic of 

536
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,500
like parents and children get 
split, we'll just completely 

537
00:28:41,500 --> 00:28:43,700
eradicated. 
Basically, it's like the, the 

538
00:28:43,700 --> 00:28:46,000
power is gone from the parents 
free for all. 

539
00:28:46,008 --> 00:28:49,800
It's like just memory of like. 
Now we are all equal. 

540
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,200
This is one unit rather than 
like the parents. 

541
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,800
Say like bedtime. 
Now it's like, this is now a 

542
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,200
like, a joint effort. 
Yeah. 

543
00:28:57,200 --> 00:29:00,900
This is like we need to build 
like a respect here within like,

544
00:29:00,900 --> 00:29:04,100
you know, we've all got voices 
and like it's not a hierarchy so

545
00:29:04,100 --> 00:29:05,600
much. 
But like, I do think that's one 

546
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,800
of the things that I have never 
ever ever thought any 

547
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,600
competition with any of my 
siblings or family like that. 

548
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:19,100
Really other than cousin is 
about like, yeah, my family. 

549
00:29:19,100 --> 00:29:22,600
Like I really, really don't feel
any competition at all and I 

550
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,000
feel like maybe that's something
that I seek out in my 

551
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:28,000
friendships as well that there's
not a feeling of comparison and 

552
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,900
competition and it's just like 
pure like wanting the best for 

553
00:29:31,900 --> 00:29:32,800
each other. 
Yeah. 

554
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:37,600
And like it's a safe. 
Space for you to just like do 

555
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,700
something. 
Yeah and it's not about fighting

556
00:29:40,700 --> 00:29:44,300
no, no even though I've had some
fights but there'll be more 

557
00:29:44,300 --> 00:29:47,000
about like that's my fighting 
for. 

558
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:51,300
We're not fighting for our 
parents affection here and also 

559
00:29:51,300 --> 00:29:54,700
I think as well, interesting 
that this came from Julie who 

560
00:29:54,700 --> 00:29:58,500
was in as a kid so it's like, 
she could probably see Yeah. 

561
00:29:58,500 --> 00:30:01,900
Yeah but as well sometimes that 
like like for example you can 

562
00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:04,700
see the pattern with Jamie Laing
so clearly because you've 

563
00:30:04,700 --> 00:30:07,400
watched him for years and you're
so external to his life. 

564
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:08,600
Yeah. 
Did it. 

565
00:30:08,608 --> 00:30:18,300
And it's like being a rich Baron
like a sort of thrown away 

566
00:30:18,300 --> 00:30:21,700
whatever and he's actually 
technically not inheriting. 

567
00:30:21,700 --> 00:30:22,800
Technically. 
No. 

568
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:28,200
That's because that's because 
probably it's like you, of 

569
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,500
course, I can see it because 
it's a man that is, like, 

570
00:30:30,500 --> 00:30:34,000
cheating on loads of women. 
And like, being like, why do I 

571
00:30:34,008 --> 00:30:36,300
keep ending up in situation? 
What I think? 

572
00:30:36,300 --> 00:30:39,900
That's the thing, is it comes 
from multiple places, it also 

573
00:30:39,900 --> 00:30:42,800
comes from, of course, he's 
doing that because he can, and 

574
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:46,800
because he show that impacts, 
its like growing up. 

575
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:49,300
He's been a boarding school. 
Of course he like feels a need. 

576
00:30:49,300 --> 00:30:51,200
Yeah, win stuff. 
And then when he gets it, 

577
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:53,100
doesn't know what to do with it 
makes perfect sense and that's 

578
00:30:53,100 --> 00:30:55,600
why I think it's like his 
parents could have treated in 

579
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:58,100
that way and he could have ended
up completely different and not 

580
00:30:58,100 --> 00:31:00,300
Got in this cycle. 
But sometimes I think there's 

581
00:31:00,300 --> 00:31:03,100
this like, Perfect Storm of all 
of these different aspects of 

582
00:31:03,100 --> 00:31:04,900
nurture come together. 
Yeah. 

583
00:31:04,900 --> 00:31:08,400
To create a certain, like, 
Behavior or pattern within 

584
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,500
somebody. 
Because if you take away his 

585
00:31:11,500 --> 00:31:15,100
parents acting like that, he may
have still acted in this way, 

586
00:31:15,100 --> 00:31:18,300
just by being who he is, and 
being in that circumstance and 

587
00:31:18,300 --> 00:31:20,300
whatever, I think. 
But when you put them all 

588
00:31:20,300 --> 00:31:23,600
together, all of these factors 
together and the influence, I 

589
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:27,000
think that you're Early life and
your formative experience with 

590
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,300
your parents are so they 
outweigh. 

591
00:31:29,300 --> 00:31:32,900
I think a lot that can happen to
you later down the line. 

592
00:31:32,900 --> 00:31:35,700
I do think it's just like such a
case of nurture. 

593
00:31:35,700 --> 00:31:38,900
Like I don't I just think what 
other chance is that, for 

594
00:31:38,900 --> 00:31:43,000
example, that show that society,
that that show is looking at all

595
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:44,900
the men, just can't stop 
cheating. 

596
00:31:44,900 --> 00:31:47,700
They've all just got this like 
drive to cheat, on all the women

597
00:31:47,700 --> 00:31:49,500
or is it the fact that that is 
just allowed? 

598
00:31:49,500 --> 00:31:53,300
Like, that is produces a calling
them in and saying create 

599
00:31:53,300 --> 00:31:58,900
attention but Show you'll get 
more like it's just a 

600
00:31:58,900 --> 00:32:01,100
relationship, forming them 
cheating on them, new one they 

601
00:32:01,100 --> 00:32:02,200
get with the best friend like 
what? 

602
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:05,000
That's literally what that is. 
Yeah. 

603
00:32:06,900 --> 00:32:08,600
Should we dig into something? 
Yeah, no. 

604
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:09,900
I kind of wanted to know what 
you think. 

605
00:32:09,900 --> 00:32:13,600
Um, with our. 
That was why I have gone, okay? 

606
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,800
Why? 
I why I have done that like a 

607
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:19,100
sister thing. 
I would kind of love to know why

608
00:32:19,100 --> 00:32:20,200
you've gone into this whole 
thing. 

609
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:25,000
I might take me some time, but 
Forgive me. 

610
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,200
I've never thought about this 
before. 

611
00:32:27,500 --> 00:32:30,200
So, I'm sure they're different 
concepts. 

612
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:34,900
I'm sure there's a lot of 
reasons obviously, but I 

613
00:32:34,900 --> 00:32:36,100
wouldn't mind giving something 
interesting. 

614
00:32:36,100 --> 00:32:39,000
Let me think. 
I sort of bread for the table 

615
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,000
for you in this because I 
thought I'd be nice. 

616
00:32:42,900 --> 00:32:47,200
Sorry, Julie. 
Reductive okay, but like I think

617
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:52,000
you offer a really, really like 
There's something really stable 

618
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:55,900
about you. 
I, you are stable but like go 

619
00:32:55,900 --> 00:33:00,700
there was something very like 
genuine and like real. 

620
00:33:00,700 --> 00:33:03,000
I don't know. 
Like I don't, I don't think it 

621
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:07,000
is just like I don't any old 
schmuck in and be your sister. 

622
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:11,200
Yeah, it's not okay. 
It's literally like There's like

623
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:14,300
a passion and like you know 
there's like the whole thing is 

624
00:33:14,300 --> 00:33:16,100
so nice. 
Yeah, I do really think. 

625
00:33:16,100 --> 00:33:19,000
And I think it's like, yeah, 
there was like a feeling of like

626
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:24,000
safety and stability. 
But why does that oppose or not 

627
00:33:24,008 --> 00:33:26,700
opposed but why is that not 
considered in Julie's? 

628
00:33:26,700 --> 00:33:30,000
It is, but it's just like I 
wouldn't be like but even if 

629
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:33,500
that obviously does a reply to 
Lizzy, but I wouldn't be like I 

630
00:33:33,500 --> 00:33:36,900
feel that there's something like
separate in that, like it's 

631
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:41,600
Yeah, I don't know. 
I think there's that. 

632
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:45,800
That's also why I'm drawn mmm. 
You're drawn to my stability. 

633
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:54,000
I think it's a unique trait. 
Like, I think it's like Yeah, I 

634
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:55,300
do think that's specific about 
you. 

635
00:33:56,500 --> 00:33:59,900
Stability. 
Yeah, almost like because I 

636
00:33:59,900 --> 00:34:05,800
don't mean financial and I don't
I mean like at your core. 

637
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:08,800
I do. 
I actually do think that you're 

638
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:13,000
very sane, you really are? 
You are like and I you've got 

639
00:34:13,007 --> 00:34:15,600
your struggles for you. 
I think you think I'm clever. 

640
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,400
You are. 
And I think I rational and 

641
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,800
you're saying, you really are. 
Like I can yeah. 

642
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:24,400
Even though it will be like 
they're a tough moments and all 

643
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:25,300
of the stuff. 
Yeah. 

644
00:34:25,300 --> 00:34:28,000
Like my yes. 
I get what you're saying. 

645
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,400
I get in. 
But like, if I was to come to 

646
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:33,600
you with like, okay, here's a 
situation, you will see what's 

647
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:36,400
going on there. 
Yes, you're not an idiot. 

648
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:38,800
You're very, yeah, I agree with 
you. 

649
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,300
I agree with you. 
I have a wisdom, you do. 

650
00:34:41,300 --> 00:34:46,000
And I have a like, You switched 
on you're not guys. 

651
00:34:46,699 --> 00:34:47,900
Come on. 
Yeah, yeah. 

652
00:34:47,900 --> 00:34:49,600
All right. 
Bloody hell. 

653
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:53,199
Well, well, well, I'll tell you 
where that came from exactly. 

654
00:34:53,199 --> 00:34:57,100
This is good. 
Well, not necessarily because 

655
00:34:57,100 --> 00:35:00,200
also, like, I am an idiot in, 
everyone is in many ways. 

656
00:35:01,100 --> 00:35:04,200
But I do think I am. 
I am balanced. 

657
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:07,800
Yeah, and I do think as well, 
like in terms of like navigating

658
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:11,200
relationships and and if someone
has an issue or someone's going 

659
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:16,000
through something, I think I Am 
quite good at. 

660
00:35:16,900 --> 00:35:19,500
Zooming out and getting 
perspective and being like kind 

661
00:35:19,500 --> 00:35:23,300
of reasonable definitely. 
And like, offering kind of fair.

662
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,700
Advice. 
And yeah, advice and judgment 

663
00:35:26,700 --> 00:35:32,300
and stuff. 
And I think, because Well, this 

664
00:35:32,300 --> 00:35:34,800
just feels like I'm just talking
about myself. 

665
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:37,100
I wouldn't be opposed, why don't
you? 

666
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:42,900
Because, okay, so I'm responding
to you saying that, that might 

667
00:35:42,900 --> 00:35:45,200
be why you've sought me out. 
That's not that's like a part of

668
00:35:45,208 --> 00:35:49,700
the reason why you like doing 
this with me. and I'm saying 

669
00:35:49,700 --> 00:35:54,300
okay well why I've made part of 
where I think that comes from is

670
00:35:54,300 --> 00:36:00,500
as a child feeling like well, It
just feels very Spotlight, 

671
00:36:00,500 --> 00:36:02,000
right? 
Okay, well we don't have to do 

672
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:05,100
it but I also it's not doing 
exactly. 

673
00:36:05,100 --> 00:36:10,000
It just feels kind of selfish of
me to just be like this is me. 

674
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:15,200
I, I know exactly what you're 
gonna say, and it's so right. 

675
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:19,000
You say, yeah, you say then. 
You looked around as a child. 

676
00:36:19,008 --> 00:36:26,300
I've used that phrase when yeah,
I thought No one here is know 

677
00:36:26,300 --> 00:36:28,300
everyone. 
Here is making crazy. 

678
00:36:28,300 --> 00:36:31,400
No. 
Okay, no, even though, yeah, 

679
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:34,000
probably true or like. 
That's definitely a good. 

680
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,200
That's your right. 
Everyone was insane. 

681
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:39,300
But that wasn't why I was trying
to offer sanity. 

682
00:36:39,300 --> 00:36:42,300
Yeah. 
I think it also and maybe it is 

683
00:36:42,300 --> 00:36:47,600
that as well, but I feel like it
comes from not feeling like how 

684
00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:50,500
basically my priority was making
sure that other people that 

685
00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:52,900
adults were, okay? 
So like making sure that my mom 

686
00:36:52,900 --> 00:36:56,100
was okay and then my dad was in 
a good mood and that everyone 

687
00:36:56,100 --> 00:36:57,900
was functioning normally and 
they were. 

688
00:36:57,900 --> 00:37:00,000
Yeah and that was my 
responsibility. 

689
00:37:01,100 --> 00:37:04,800
So here I could turn for work 
and eight years old logging in 

690
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:11,300
for the day terrible, it's all 
looking shit, it's my 

691
00:37:11,300 --> 00:37:16,500
responsibility now. 
Mmm to so look he's all looking 

692
00:37:16,500 --> 00:37:21,100
at fucking seven years, why? 
So that's that's it on the down 

693
00:37:21,100 --> 00:37:22,700
that's looking that graph is 
going. 

694
00:37:22,700 --> 00:37:28,400
Everything's fucking low looking
at the data and it's comes back 

695
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:32,200
to me, okay? 
Yeah, and yes, everyone was 

696
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:33,900
insane. 
So I wanted to offer sanity 

697
00:37:33,900 --> 00:37:37,700
maybe, but I think also, how I 
felt wasn't important. 

698
00:37:37,700 --> 00:37:40,500
Their feelings were important. 
My feelings were not important. 

699
00:37:40,500 --> 00:37:44,700
And so I feel like if I ever am 
experiencing an emotion, I have 

700
00:37:44,700 --> 00:37:47,900
to be like exceptionally 
Justified. 

701
00:37:47,900 --> 00:37:49,700
Yeah. 
Any response. 

702
00:37:49,700 --> 00:37:52,800
Any behavior from me other than 
just like good? 

703
00:37:54,100 --> 00:37:57,900
Quiet perfect. 
Yeah, you know just anything 

704
00:37:57,900 --> 00:38:00,300
other than puffed. 
Not. 

705
00:38:00,300 --> 00:38:03,600
Okay. 
And so I had to like, validate, 

706
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:08,400
I just felt like, okay, I have 
to be very reasonable then like 

707
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:10,500
I can't be. 
No one would ever describe his 

708
00:38:10,500 --> 00:38:13,800
like a hormonal teenager. 
No one would ever be like oh you

709
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:15,700
know childish like I have always
sought to be. 

710
00:38:15,700 --> 00:38:18,200
I'm just always been very 
mature. 

711
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:23,300
Yeah child. 
Yeah because I have to prove to 

712
00:38:23,300 --> 00:38:26,900
you that I am like valid. 
Yeah, yeah. 

713
00:38:27,500 --> 00:38:30,900
I'm like, no, trust me. 
Like this comes from You know, 

714
00:38:30,908 --> 00:38:34,200
like I would never over that she
wouldn't overreact or Aaron 

715
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:37,400
wouldn't just say that for 
nothing or like almost trying to

716
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:41,400
buy myself more validity. 
I think that's it doesn't person

717
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:45,700
almost like it's kind of storing
your Chips for, when you add 

718
00:38:45,700 --> 00:38:46,800
them, that you're bargaining 
chips. 

719
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:49,900
I'm not boy who cried wolf yet, 
it's exactly that because it, 

720
00:38:49,900 --> 00:38:51,808
which is really horrible because
it's almost as a kid. 

721
00:38:51,816 --> 00:38:56,600
Identifying, I'm going to need 
people to Believe my side here 

722
00:38:56,600 --> 00:39:00,500
and being like so I'm not going 
to kick up any fuss so that yeah

723
00:39:00,500 --> 00:39:02,600
I can use. 
I don't know nothing. 

724
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:06,900
There is no strike by my name. 
Yeah so that when I take this to

725
00:39:06,900 --> 00:39:10,000
court my case is clean. 
Yeah do you know I mean like 

726
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:14,600
there is no word against me 
because yeah, that makes me less

727
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:19,100
credible but the horrible but 
the No One Believes you are 

728
00:39:19,100 --> 00:39:21,400
horrible but is it doesn't count
for anything and you're still 

729
00:39:21,408 --> 00:39:23,600
just why. 
Now you just didn't validate 

730
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:25,900
your own emotions. 
So which is why I'm always like 

731
00:39:25,900 --> 00:39:29,800
to kids kick and scream and be 
just like the loud. 

732
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:32,400
Like, if you have a fucking 
problem of something, let it be 

733
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:35,400
known. 
Like, and genuinely like, I 

734
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:40,100
genuinely think, like, kids are 
supposed to be like, how like 

735
00:39:40,100 --> 00:39:42,800
teenagers. 
How fucking day you like cry. 

736
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:46,400
Emotions are huge for teenagers 
to ask them to underplay it. 

737
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,900
For manners or polite. 
I actually think it's in human 

738
00:39:50,900 --> 00:39:54,300
remember you feel as a teenager 
you're fuking like fuming. 

739
00:39:54,300 --> 00:39:57,700
Everything is just huge and as a
kid as well, I just think let 

740
00:39:57,700 --> 00:40:01,100
kids be huge. 
Let them be just like so angry. 

741
00:40:01,100 --> 00:40:04,100
Yeah just upset and all of the 
stuff I think it's so important.

742
00:40:04,100 --> 00:40:06,700
Yeah. 
Yeah. 

743
00:40:06,700 --> 00:40:09,400
And then it leads. 
If not it leads the consequence 

744
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:13,600
of feeling like how you feel as 
in literally isn't valid. 

745
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:15,100
Yeah. 
It's not good. 

746
00:40:15,100 --> 00:40:17,200
Yeah. 
Find it very hard to raise 

747
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:20,600
concerns in life off my own 
back. 

748
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:23,300
Like remember I was saying like 
someone say to me about my dog 

749
00:40:23,300 --> 00:40:26,300
I'll just need some more trouble
like no no don't worry because I

750
00:40:26,300 --> 00:40:30,000
see him extension of me and 
undermining. 

751
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,800
Now my dog's need. 
Yeah because I feel like I can't

752
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:38,200
need anything or like yeah crazy
when also its so, small of 

753
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:43,400
water, it's just like, but then 
I always say, You've come so far

754
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,800
with that, even in the time that
I've known you. 

755
00:40:46,700 --> 00:40:49,100
If we ever told the story of the
wooden chat like the wooden 

756
00:40:49,100 --> 00:40:54,100
chair that we would say, don't 
know, the story was the Fable of

757
00:40:54,108 --> 00:40:56,700
the wooden chair God, you. 
Okay. 

758
00:40:56,700 --> 00:41:00,100
So we lived in a house at Uni in
third year of Five Guys, 

759
00:41:00,100 --> 00:41:03,100
Brighton. 
It was amazing times. 

760
00:41:03,100 --> 00:41:05,400
Like literally like one of the 
best years of my life like it 

761
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:10,000
was incredibly incredibly fine. 
Did you see someone sent a thing

762
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:11,600
of them listening on whipping 
them, right? 

763
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:14,000
No, that's fucking Insane. 
Yeah. 

764
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,300
Like from their house on 
whippingham road. 

765
00:41:16,300 --> 00:41:19,000
Can you send it again? 
Guys, I'll send it to you. 

766
00:41:19,008 --> 00:41:20,500
Thank you. 
It's screenshotted. 

767
00:41:20,500 --> 00:41:24,200
Um, so like that's that's really
meaningful. 

768
00:41:25,300 --> 00:41:26,300
Is what? 
No. 

769
00:41:26,300 --> 00:41:28,500
Okay. 
Wow, thank you. 

770
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:32,500
Yeah, we lived in a house with 
five guys. 

771
00:41:32,500 --> 00:41:37,600
There was a sofa that would fit 
three of the girls on there was 

772
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:41,700
a bean bag and there was like a 
chat that people sat on the 

773
00:41:41,700 --> 00:41:42,700
table that were like a few 
chairs. 

774
00:41:42,700 --> 00:41:44,700
But we, when we watched 
something, someone would sit on 

775
00:41:44,700 --> 00:41:49,600
the wooden chat and the setup. 
See where this is good. 

776
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:54,108
And it was like, we'd all know 
each other for ages, it was all 

777
00:41:54,116 --> 00:41:57,900
very close to blah and we'd all 
Scrabble for like the seats 

778
00:41:57,900 --> 00:42:04,400
other than who would. 
So the setup usually was me, 

779
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:08,200
Alice Eleanor on the sofa Stella
on the bean bag, like the dog 

780
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:13,300
and you insisting that you're 
comfortable on the wooden chair 

781
00:42:13,300 --> 00:42:16,600
and everybody at Wing, please, 
please, please, like someone be 

782
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:17,700
on the same. 
On the sofa, please. 

783
00:42:17,700 --> 00:42:19,700
Come on the sofa. 
Please like, sit on the bean 

784
00:42:19,700 --> 00:42:22,800
anyway and you'd be like, no, 
no, I like the chair. 

785
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:25,100
I like the chat and then you'll 
be really existent. 

786
00:42:25,100 --> 00:42:31,400
No, no, I like the chair and 
nobody would want to watch a 

787
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:35,800
film but you know, everyone else
is like in line with the TV and 

788
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:41,300
I'm like, we were so comfortable
and it's we used to just be like

789
00:42:41,300 --> 00:42:43,500
and I got the shity bedroom as 
well. 

790
00:42:43,500 --> 00:42:46,800
We were that which also and in 
second year which I was like, 

791
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:48,600
I'll do it. 
We all pulled this was that was 

792
00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:52,500
crazy because we pulled up for 
the room and Wing got this and 

793
00:42:52,500 --> 00:42:54,800
like, The dungeon she was quite 
nice. 

794
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:56,100
It was nice. 
I was one of you. 

795
00:42:56,100 --> 00:43:01,100
Yeah, we got the dungeon room. 
It was one of those things of 

796
00:43:01,100 --> 00:43:05,600
like, yeah, swear I belong. 
Yeah, but it was like he's very 

797
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:08,100
disturbed, like motivational 
would have kicked up a fast. 

798
00:43:08,100 --> 00:43:10,300
I mean, like, I want the fucking
dungeon room, but you were like,

799
00:43:10,308 --> 00:43:12,600
I love the tundra. 
Oh, I love this. 

800
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:14,900
That I was hoping. 
Yes, please give me the night. 

801
00:43:14,900 --> 00:43:18,900
Yeah. 
Yeah, I'd still sit on the 

802
00:43:18,908 --> 00:43:19,700
wooden chair. 
I would. 

803
00:43:19,700 --> 00:43:22,500
But now I, but I always think. 
Maybe it's because our 

804
00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:27,400
relationship is so different. 
Now, I would kick you off of the

805
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:29,500
wooden chair. 
Now I'd be like sometimes, yeah,

806
00:43:29,500 --> 00:43:32,700
we have like a, it would be 
like, come the fuk on now. 

807
00:43:32,700 --> 00:43:34,700
Well, it's become. 
It's a bit now where it's like, 

808
00:43:34,700 --> 00:43:37,900
are, you know, we're honoring 
the tale of the wooden chair and

809
00:43:37,900 --> 00:43:43,600
like, yeah, I would genuinely 
rather some of my boyfriend, I'd

810
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:47,200
rather Like for example, we're 
going into a thing and there's a

811
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:49,300
booth and an outside chair. 
Yeah. 

812
00:43:49,300 --> 00:43:53,400
You're having the baby 100%. 
I'm not going in the booth, but 

813
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:57,300
I like when he required. 
I like when we both got the 

814
00:43:57,300 --> 00:44:02,700
booth, when we just sit here, I 
like that. 

815
00:44:02,700 --> 00:44:06,000
Obviously that backs to Corners 
though. 

816
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:07,600
Exactly. 
So I thought that's really nice 

817
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:12,600
of you when you're like knowing 
my my needs because I like my 

818
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,500
thing. 
I really like to be like as far 

819
00:44:15,500 --> 00:44:18,600
into a corner. 
As possible to like, almost 

820
00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:20,800
here's the thing, they're weird 
in a weird way. 

821
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:24,300
So do I, I want to have my back 
against the wall, but because I 

822
00:44:24,300 --> 00:44:27,200
would know that how like you to 
say how I know, I know how that 

823
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,000
feels so then I don't want 
someone else to feel like that. 

824
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,200
Oh god. 
Well, that's exactly kind of no,

825
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:32,500
no, I will. 
Let's make sure we both get back

826
00:44:32,500 --> 00:44:35,500
to the corners know. 
Well, ideally, but if someone 

827
00:44:35,500 --> 00:44:37,000
has to take it, look, I can take
my back. 

828
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:38,700
I can take sitting in a random 
chair. 

829
00:44:38,700 --> 00:44:41,000
I'd rather that would make me 
feel more comfortable. 

830
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:44,600
I can't I don't have you being 
uncomfortable, I didn't know 

831
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:46,000
that. 
I would, I would have thought 

832
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:49,000
that well, I'm taking a dodgy 
chair, it's obviously like 

833
00:44:50,300 --> 00:44:53,600
Because I don't see that I think
I I always have a weird thing 

834
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:55,300
about back to chairs because 
then Stella will always be like 

835
00:44:55,300 --> 00:44:56,200
that. 
Alright, go on. 

836
00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:00,500
That like people often say to me
like right go I don't. 

837
00:45:00,500 --> 00:45:02,400
So I always thought I have a 
weird. 

838
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:05,900
I think it's I think a lot of 
people probably relate to 

839
00:45:05,900 --> 00:45:11,300
wanting like the tucked in. 
And having your eyes out to the 

840
00:45:11,308 --> 00:45:13,400
rest of, for example, the 
restaurant rather than having 

841
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:16,100
your back, the whole meal. 
I think, if I was looking behind

842
00:45:16,100 --> 00:45:18,600
me. 
Yeah, I mean, look, I'm no Marta

843
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:21,200
but I would, it would make me 
more uncomfortable, you know? 

844
00:45:21,208 --> 00:45:23,900
I mean, it's a little boohoo 
sharp Wing sort of thing. 

845
00:45:23,908 --> 00:45:28,200
Yeah, but it would make me more 
uncomfortable knowing that that 

846
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:30,300
would pain me more. 
I'd rather suffer the pain of a 

847
00:45:30,300 --> 00:45:32,300
dodgy. 
See then suffer the pain of 

848
00:45:32,300 --> 00:45:35,700
knowing that you're in a dodgy 
see in a situation but I just 

849
00:45:35,700 --> 00:45:39,500
hear it is as well. 
Like, I thought I wouldn't want 

850
00:45:39,500 --> 00:45:41,500
you to be uncomfortable, but I 
also if it was just like, 

851
00:45:41,500 --> 00:45:43,500
stranger, I'd be fucking happy 
for them, to take the dog. 

852
00:45:43,500 --> 00:45:45,700
This is how, you know, it's not 
fake with me. 

853
00:45:45,700 --> 00:45:47,300
But like, this is how, you know,
it. 

854
00:45:47,300 --> 00:45:49,400
All it breaks down very quickly.
When it's my boyfriend, I'm 

855
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:52,900
like, yeah, you take the dodgy 
see and I and I because I feel 

856
00:45:52,900 --> 00:45:55,100
like I have nothing, you know, 
I'm just, I'm safe there. 

857
00:45:55,900 --> 00:45:57,900
How crazy is that? 
No, it's not crazy. 

858
00:45:57,900 --> 00:46:00,000
It makes perfect sense, but I 
just would want you to feel 

859
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:04,700
that. 
Safe and more situation agreed. 

860
00:46:04,700 --> 00:46:06,900
Yeah. 
Because objectively, I am safe 

861
00:46:06,900 --> 00:46:09,200
with. 
Yeah, I'm not on safe in any 

862
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:10,700
way. 
But yeah. 

863
00:46:10,700 --> 00:46:14,000
Okay. 
So you know, I needed to take in

864
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:15,400
the nice chair more. 
Okay. 

865
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:19,200
No please. 
Why would like What do you 

866
00:46:19,208 --> 00:46:19,700
think? 
I'm gonna do? 

867
00:46:19,700 --> 00:46:22,100
I'll just be. 
Oh, it makes me feel more safe. 

868
00:46:22,100 --> 00:46:27,000
I like you for it. 
I like that's the thing is, you,

869
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:30,600
you want to take it please? 
Perfect. 

870
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:32,800
We're in the perfect Dynamics. 
Believe that. 

871
00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:36,500
Because I'll be like, maybe 
Maybe I do it. 

872
00:46:36,500 --> 00:46:39,700
I am someone genuinely. 
If someone I realized thing, I 

873
00:46:39,700 --> 00:46:46,100
will take it and I will overcome
say in order to feel Valid. 

874
00:46:46,100 --> 00:46:49,200
So like I will always like, oh, 
let me do it. 

875
00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:53,800
I can just so I can feel like, 
okay, I'm like a little bit 

876
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:56,400
safer in a dynamic. 
I don't find it for if you were 

877
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:57,800
like, oh, let me get that for 
you. 

878
00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:00,400
I'd be like, no, no. 
Yeah. 

879
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:03,000
Whereas if I'm like, oh, let me 
get that video. 

880
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:07,000
You like, thanks normal person 
so Like no big deal. 

881
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:09,200
Yeah, no big deal. 
And it's not. 

882
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:11,600
Um, I'm so kind and I'm so 
generous. 

883
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:14,800
It's like, I've got an issue and
I'm working on it and you are, 

884
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:18,600
but I also think you don't get 
any prizes for taking the doggy 

885
00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:22,700
chair know you don't actually 
has is, the is, the probably is 

886
00:47:22,700 --> 00:47:24,700
the problem. 
People do take advantage of you,

887
00:47:24,708 --> 00:47:26,900
this is something I've been 
thinking is I do get taken 

888
00:47:26,900 --> 00:47:30,500
advantage of go on. 
Because I I have this 

889
00:47:30,500 --> 00:47:35,300
overcompensating thing where I 
want to do the most and like be 

890
00:47:35,300 --> 00:47:37,000
perfect and like, take 
everything off your hands and 

891
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:39,200
like don't you worry about 
single freaking thing. 

892
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,700
Yeah. 
So then people will be like all 

893
00:47:41,700 --> 00:47:42,100
right. 
Cool. 

894
00:47:42,100 --> 00:47:45,600
Well that's you know and like oh
I'll just you know, I can kind 

895
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:52,000
of like, oh She's suffering on 
my behalf and oh God, just just 

896
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:53,400
small Dynamics. 
Nothing. 

897
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:58,700
Like I also did like plays out, 
I don't know. 

898
00:47:58,700 --> 00:48:02,400
I feel like you know and 
relationships in life are 

899
00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:03,900
knowing people's things like 
this as well. 

900
00:48:03,900 --> 00:48:06,900
I think people know when there's
like, I don't know. 

901
00:48:06,900 --> 00:48:10,400
Like if people are if it feels, 
it's someone's exploiting. 

902
00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:13,100
I think like that's not good, 
that's not good. 

903
00:48:13,100 --> 00:48:19,100
But it's I nominate myself. do I
mean, I get it but I still feel 

904
00:48:19,100 --> 00:48:21,900
like even if you know someone's 
nominating themselves and I 

905
00:48:21,908 --> 00:48:24,600
think it also depends on like, 
oh, some things are deep and 

906
00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:29,400
something's arm but like I do 
think that Go on. 

907
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:31,000
It's not great. 
That was it like it's just like 

908
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:34,600
fuck that. 
Well, what if someone is, if 

909
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:38,300
someone is making you do 
shittier things, I don't know. 

910
00:48:38,308 --> 00:48:43,900
I don't like that. 
It's not even like one person. 

911
00:48:43,900 --> 00:48:46,500
It's just, I know, I know that 
in my life. 

912
00:48:46,500 --> 00:48:49,000
Yeah. 
I and it's, it's the thing where

913
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:51,900
you end up and this is something
that I saw, my parents do my 

914
00:48:51,900 --> 00:48:54,700
parents love, if you have, if 
you take issue with this, if you

915
00:48:54,708 --> 00:48:57,000
know me in real life or like, 
you're my parent, then. 

916
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:58,400
Yeah. 
You're gonna have to take up 

917
00:48:58,400 --> 00:48:59,200
with them. 
Okay? 

918
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:04,000
But yeah. 
But you're not, you're just like

919
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:05,400
a girl on the tube. 
Yeah. 

920
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:15,100
Hey, how are you getting on? 
My parents had a lot of 

921
00:49:15,100 --> 00:49:16,700
resentment. 
Yeah, towards each other. 

922
00:49:16,700 --> 00:49:19,600
I felt like my perception of it.
Maybe they would say it's 

923
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:21,200
different, or maybe. 
I'm speaking for them. 

924
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:24,400
But I definitely grew up in a 
situation, observing something 

925
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:26,900
that felt like things were not 
vocalized. 

926
00:49:26,900 --> 00:49:30,600
Yeah, that was resentment. 
And so this is now my issue of 

927
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:33,900
like I don't want to be a 
resentful person know. 

928
00:49:34,900 --> 00:49:37,900
But I know that I am someone 
who, like, if you get yourself 

929
00:49:37,900 --> 00:49:41,600
into a cycle of like, constantly
feeling like you have to just 

930
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:45,200
diminish Who You Are. 
To like when you're you know in 

931
00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:48,100
relationships and just in life 
you're going to feel resentful 

932
00:49:48,100 --> 00:49:49,500
of all of the other people who 
you feel. 

933
00:49:49,500 --> 00:49:51,200
Don't have to do that. 
Yeah. 

934
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:52,100
Does that make sense? 
Yeah. 

935
00:49:52,100 --> 00:49:56,600
And that is on me, that's not on
them for doing for taking the 

936
00:49:56,600 --> 00:50:01,000
things that I offered that isn't
on them to it depends, it really

937
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:01,500
does. 
Yeah. 

938
00:50:01,500 --> 00:50:03,000
And I was trying to think that 
is it on there? 

939
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:04,800
Is it when you? 
I think it's a bit of both. 

940
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:10,600
It's shared, I think. but if I'm
if I'm not, if no one is curbing

941
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:13,800
me and if no one's paying 
attention, I will literally like

942
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:17,600
I just need to sort my life. 
I think you've got so much 

943
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:20,600
better. 
I have you really have like 

944
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:23,600
which is saying something. 
Yeah, no you you have because 

945
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:26,900
now All thing is, I don't know 
if I'm the best judge because I 

946
00:50:26,900 --> 00:50:31,200
think now I would just know. 
So I'd be like Well, so, how 

947
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:34,000
much better is it if I'm just 
recognizing it and then 

948
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:36,800
repeating it anyway? 
It's like, oh, I've recognized 

949
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:39,600
the behavior that I have and I 
know I think you've changed 

950
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:43,900
behaviors though. 
Sometimes I don't think as much 

951
00:50:43,900 --> 00:50:47,300
as I as you want to, I don't 
think really much at all if I'm 

952
00:50:47,308 --> 00:50:51,200
on a suffering. 
God, I think I have like a, you 

953
00:50:51,200 --> 00:50:54,000
know, I don't know. 
I feel different because we have

954
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:54,900
exactly. 
Yeah. 

955
00:50:54,900 --> 00:51:00,900
If like for example, I get your 
house and let me get your glass 

956
00:51:00,900 --> 00:51:06,000
of water and thank you so much 
Ben and then you'll be um, if I 

957
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:09,800
just go to the tap and fill it 
up, you that would That would go

958
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:12,700
right through you. 
But so I now try and do things 

959
00:51:12,700 --> 00:51:14,500
where I'll just like go and get 
the fucking. 

960
00:51:14,500 --> 00:51:20,100
I'll just go do that. 
I don't know what he Because you

961
00:51:20,100 --> 00:51:24,000
shouldn't be doing anything. 
You should be relaxing, but I 

962
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:25,700
don't like to push it with 
things like that. 

963
00:51:25,700 --> 00:51:30,600
Like, just go get the water for 
myself because it's like you 

964
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:32,600
don't need to go over time. 
Getting me water. 

965
00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:36,200
Like that's the most basic and I
know couldn't be easier to just 

966
00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:39,700
fit up my my car. 
It feels unsafe. 

967
00:51:39,700 --> 00:51:42,900
It feels like, that's my safety.
And my relationships is knowing 

968
00:51:42,900 --> 00:51:45,900
like for example, if we were to 
come to huge blows, you would 

969
00:51:45,900 --> 00:51:48,000
never be able to say we 
shouldn't do anything for me. 

970
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:51,200
Like, you know what I mean? 
I don't measure my relationships

971
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:52,500
in. 
I know I've done for me. 

972
00:51:52,508 --> 00:51:57,800
I know, I know, I don't measure 
anyone else like that, like, the

973
00:51:57,800 --> 00:52:00,800
people that have done so much 
for me, why? 

974
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:05,600
Hey, I love they've never done 
anything for me ever in my 

975
00:52:05,608 --> 00:52:10,100
entire life. 
Like, I, I don't think, Who was 

976
00:52:10,100 --> 00:52:11,100
it? 
There's like the famous credit. 

977
00:52:11,100 --> 00:52:12,600
Like you don't remember people? 
What they did. 

978
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:15,000
You remember that? 
What they say how they feel? 

979
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:18,200
And I do think it's true. 
Like my Angela, I don't remember

980
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:20,600
any actions anyone's ever done 
any conversations I've ever had 

981
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:24,600
famously but I don't, yeah. 
But I would never be like But 

982
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:26,600
they made you feel know, it 
makes me feel. 

983
00:52:26,608 --> 00:52:32,600
That makes me feel made you feel
confidently, well, to talk about

984
00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:36,300
it, it's terrible, but to make 
you aware of it, but it's 

985
00:52:36,300 --> 00:52:39,800
supposed to be, you're not even 
aware of, and that's where the 

986
00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:41,600
know I'm. 
So you can't be not aware of it 

987
00:52:41,608 --> 00:52:43,500
because that you're going to the
top to get glass of water and 

988
00:52:43,500 --> 00:52:46,300
someone's like, stop. 
Small. 

989
00:52:46,300 --> 00:52:49,700
Do you know I mean just like the
sun Yeahs and that's why it's my

990
00:52:49,700 --> 00:52:53,100
responsibility to be like, oh 
I've overstepped here. 

991
00:52:53,900 --> 00:52:57,700
It's not overstep. it's just 
like, That's all. 

992
00:52:57,700 --> 00:53:03,300
We're all friends here but also 
I do think it's one of the 

993
00:53:03,308 --> 00:53:08,000
things that makes you like the 
way that is kind of a cool 

994
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:11,900
personality, trait know, it kind
of is because, do you remember 

995
00:53:11,900 --> 00:53:15,200
actually was it It might have 
been frail was like doing 

996
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:18,100
impression of each other and 
your impression of me was sorry 

997
00:53:18,100 --> 00:53:22,000
and I thought fuck. 
Okay. 

998
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:27,100
So that's like oh, right, it's 
not just sorry in general. 

999
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:31,000
It's this. 
The impression is this, I have 

1000
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:33,400
hit you by accident. 
I've accidentally walked into 

1001
00:53:33,400 --> 00:53:36,000
you and you're like, sorry, it's
like wait, that's me. 

1002
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,800
I hit you with my bag. 
I know you don't like that. 

1003
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:41,000
You don't like that person. 
Makes me laugh. 

1004
00:53:42,100 --> 00:53:44,200
Far it's not that. 
I don't like them. 

1005
00:53:44,200 --> 00:53:47,600
It's just like I've been clumsy 
or something and then someone 

1006
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:49,800
says sorry to me. 
It's just almost like it's not 

1007
00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:50,700
that. 
I don't like them or anything. 

1008
00:53:50,708 --> 00:53:53,108
I would just I don't know what 
it is. 

1009
00:53:53,116 --> 00:53:56,400
I think that might be one of the
yin and yang things of like I 

1010
00:53:56,400 --> 00:54:00,200
don't understand that person. 
Because if someone hits me with 

1011
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:02,900
their bag, I'll be like, you 
know, fuking idiot. 

1012
00:54:05,400 --> 00:54:07,000
Be my impression of you would be
like someone hits you. 

1013
00:54:07,700 --> 00:54:11,800
I accidentally hit someone. 
I'm like more on. 

1014
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:20,100
Yes, because I just genuinely 
believe they were like, oh, I 

1015
00:54:20,100 --> 00:54:22,100
know. 
I don't know. 

1016
00:54:22,100 --> 00:54:31,500
Yeah, but like there's there's 
More for me. 

1017
00:54:31,500 --> 00:54:38,000
Yeah, I don't know, but it all 
comes from somewhere. 

1018
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:40,200
Yeah. 
I mean, I like it when we do 

1019
00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:40,600
that. 
Yeah. 

1020
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:42,400
Me too. 
Just like, what is this? 

1021
00:54:43,300 --> 00:54:46,100
Okay, I think this is this is 
actually something we were 

1022
00:54:46,100 --> 00:54:48,900
touching on earlier, but we 
started recording and it's 

1023
00:54:48,900 --> 00:54:51,200
something we've spoken about and
I kind of like it. 

1024
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:52,700
But okay, yeah, we'll get into 
it. 

1025
00:54:52,700 --> 00:54:55,500
Okay, so that's been said so 
basically we asked how was your 

1026
00:54:55,500 --> 00:54:58,400
parents relationship shaped the 
Romantic decisions you make. 

1027
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:01,700
I love you, don't mind just an 
invitation for everybody to 

1028
00:55:01,700 --> 00:55:04,500
share and this person said they 
have a lower tolerance for 

1029
00:55:04,500 --> 00:55:08,000
bulshit from men as I refuse to 
end up in the same generational 

1030
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:10,500
pattern. 
Lovely. 

1031
00:55:10,500 --> 00:55:14,300
Yeah, we were speaking earlier 
when we were kind of fast 

1032
00:55:14,300 --> 00:55:16,000
speaking about this, we were 
saying like which was a very 

1033
00:55:16,008 --> 00:55:17,800
different conversation to what 
we just had somebody. 

1034
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:22,300
Yeah, I mean, it's just shit. 
Everything wasn't necessarily 

1035
00:55:22,300 --> 00:55:24,700
better, we should recorded that 
private conversation. 

1036
00:55:25,900 --> 00:55:29,500
You said something like a, you 
know, happy family or whatever. 

1037
00:55:29,508 --> 00:55:32,500
And I went deluded and then I 
was like, oh maybe I shouldn't 

1038
00:55:32,500 --> 00:55:35,500
say that because like all like 
hmm interesting that I think 

1039
00:55:35,500 --> 00:55:38,400
that if someone thinks happy 
family, they're deluded. 

1040
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:39,700
I don't necessarily believe 
that. 

1041
00:55:39,700 --> 00:55:43,300
But my instinct was to just be 
like have diluted and then I was

1042
00:55:43,308 --> 00:55:45,000
like, No. 
And my insect was to be. 

1043
00:55:45,008 --> 00:55:46,300
Yeah. 
And you were like, yeah. 

1044
00:55:46,300 --> 00:55:50,600
So deluded then we kind of had 
the moment of like, okay, this 

1045
00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:55,900
is how we like, yeah, I have a 
specific world view or like, a 

1046
00:55:55,900 --> 00:55:59,500
very specific belief and what 
you were kind of saying, in some

1047
00:55:59,508 --> 00:56:03,100
ways that's negative, but in 
some ways it spares you from 

1048
00:56:03,100 --> 00:56:07,000
going through certain pain, I do
think like I was having 

1049
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:13,200
conversation with my mom 
recently and she was from like a

1050
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:17,300
happy family like that my 
grandpa together until they 

1051
00:56:17,300 --> 00:56:19,200
died. 
Like they it was very 

1052
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:22,500
traditional and like A sort of 
what? 

1053
00:56:23,300 --> 00:56:27,300
society looks at and was, would 
be like perfect relationship 

1054
00:56:27,300 --> 00:56:32,300
which so many of that generation
kind of were and then like my 

1055
00:56:32,300 --> 00:56:34,800
childhood was so different from 
that. 

1056
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:38,700
Like, it was Hmm. 
What society looks at things, 

1057
00:56:38,700 --> 00:56:44,700
shit. 
And I think like we were talking

1058
00:56:44,700 --> 00:56:49,000
about it. and I was like, I 
expect, I hear the word happy 

1059
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:53,900
family and think, dream on where
she grew up by my age, she was 

1060
00:56:53,900 --> 00:56:57,200
thinking happy families, like 
the default and I was just sort 

1061
00:56:57,200 --> 00:57:00,500
of just talking about the 
contrast there and I how like I 

1062
00:57:00,500 --> 00:57:07,100
it shit having a Like a family 
that went together and that was 

1063
00:57:07,100 --> 00:57:10,700
messy and all of the stuff that 
was obviously, so much harder in

1064
00:57:10,700 --> 00:57:13,600
my childhood. 
But I do think like there was a 

1065
00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:17,100
certain there is a certain 
naivety from growing up and like

1066
00:57:17,100 --> 00:57:20,800
I even talked to people in my 
life about this. 

1067
00:57:21,500 --> 00:57:25,800
And it does seem to be that 
people that who people from 

1068
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:28,400
families were their parents are 
still together and all that. 

1069
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:34,600
They do really like believe in 
like they want to find someone 

1070
00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:36,700
and be with that person for the 
rest of their life and get 

1071
00:57:36,700 --> 00:57:39,200
married and have like, that 
seems to be like a narrative. 

1072
00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:43,500
For a lot of people, whereas I 
do think, like, I have such a 

1073
00:57:43,500 --> 00:57:45,800
more fluid understanding of, 
like, what makes a relationship 

1074
00:57:45,800 --> 00:57:48,900
valuable. 
And like, I do think it's 

1075
00:57:48,900 --> 00:57:50,100
prepared. 
Yeah, I don't know. 

1076
00:57:50,100 --> 00:57:53,900
I feel there's a naivety in it, 
but also, like, I'm happy with 

1077
00:57:53,900 --> 00:57:57,000
where I've landed almost with my
understanding of like 

1078
00:57:57,000 --> 00:58:02,100
relationships and love and all 
of the staff and I do see a lot 

1079
00:58:02,108 --> 00:58:06,600
of naivety and kind of like, 
we're not in that Society 

1080
00:58:06,600 --> 00:58:08,800
anymore, but also, I'm just 
being a bit of a bummer to 

1081
00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:10,100
everyone. 
That does things that I'm really

1082
00:58:10,108 --> 00:58:11,300
sorry. 
I don't think, you know, I don't

1083
00:58:11,300 --> 00:58:13,400
think you're being a bummer, but
I think it is interesting to 

1084
00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:16,000
think about, like, for example, 
this person who said, I'm, I 

1085
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:17,500
don't tolerate bulshit. 
Yeah. 

1086
00:58:17,500 --> 00:58:21,000
And thinking about like, okay, 
when you're young and you see, 

1087
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:23,300
bulshit happening left and 
right. 

1088
00:58:23,300 --> 00:58:26,900
Yeah, what sticks and what 
becomes it's almost like what's 

1089
00:58:26,900 --> 00:58:29,200
on your radar? 
For things of like that will not

1090
00:58:29,208 --> 00:58:32,000
be tolerated. 
Yeah, versus them, the things 

1091
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:37,000
that you subconsciously are 
drawn to even though maybe it's 

1092
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:40,500
bullshit. 
Like I've got so on the tip of 

1093
00:58:40,500 --> 00:58:43,800
my tongue, come on, I said this.
So the other day, someone asked 

1094
00:58:43,800 --> 00:58:48,000
me what my red flags are, hmm. 
And it does without going like 

1095
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:53,300
too much into for you for me and
it's just like a loose one but 

1096
00:58:53,300 --> 00:58:57,100
like I do think in with like the
last guy that I dated this did 

1097
00:58:57,100 --> 00:59:01,000
end up being like quite a 
problem but like and I do think 

1098
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:04,400
it fits into this idea of like 
cycles of family and everything.

1099
00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:10,500
I was like my red flag, I think.
Oh, I think a red flag to me is 

1100
00:59:10,500 --> 00:59:13,700
someone being a stoner? 
It just feels like something 

1101
00:59:13,700 --> 00:59:20,200
that I've Just Seen throughout 
so many men, and I just think I 

1102
00:59:20,200 --> 00:59:23,600
it's not something that I it 
does seem to be something that I

1103
00:59:23,608 --> 00:59:28,300
see cow, but every single time, 
it's a problem. so I don't know,

1104
00:59:28,300 --> 00:59:34,200
I think it would be Good for me 
to like not go for that but the 

1105
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:37,000
same time there is clearly some 
kind of draw. 

1106
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:43,600
Well it's kind of If there's 
something that we see as a 

1107
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:47,900
problem, but as an adult, maybe 
this is my chance to make that, 

1108
00:59:47,900 --> 00:59:50,200
right? 
And correct it. 

1109
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:54,400
And so we like over Correction 
yeah. 

1110
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:58,900
Like okay I'll get with somebody
like that and this time it's 

1111
00:59:58,900 --> 01:00:00,500
going to go there. 
Yeah. 

1112
01:00:00,500 --> 01:00:04,600
And it will be like this and 
that will fix whatever's gone on

1113
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:07,400
in. 
But I think the thing with all 

1114
01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:12,400
of these things really they 
don't really go the way that 

1115
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:16,500
like oh, almost like stone is 
kind of a specific behavior but 

1116
01:00:16,500 --> 01:00:18,700
it's like that is like you 
cannot. 

1117
01:00:18,700 --> 01:00:22,400
Yeah. 
It's kind of an umbrella next to

1118
01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:24,200
that that's just a personality 
type. 

1119
01:00:24,200 --> 01:00:28,300
Like there's no changing that 
and it's not something I even 

1120
01:00:28,300 --> 01:00:31,300
really care to change but it's 
just like that is a personality 

1121
01:00:31,300 --> 01:00:36,400
type that type that lends itself
to a certain other load of Staff

1122
01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:38,800
like it just as. 
Yeah, it's an umbrella term, all

1123
01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:43,400
those types of people and 
actually within that umbrella is

1124
01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:46,200
maybe not really where I 
wouldn't be, that's what I find.

1125
01:00:46,200 --> 01:00:48,500
Interesting, is the tension 
between what you find 

1126
01:00:48,500 --> 01:00:50,600
attractive, and what you find 
repellent. 

1127
01:00:50,600 --> 01:00:56,100
Yeah, like, there's Thing that 
you know is there's a tension 

1128
01:00:56,100 --> 01:01:00,800
there of like okay, that trait 
or that behavior is risky for me

1129
01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:03,600
and I want it. 
Yeah, if it goes a certain way, 

1130
01:01:03,600 --> 01:01:04,900
I hate it. 
Yeah. 

1131
01:01:04,900 --> 01:01:08,600
And if it works out, I love it 
and I want it. 

1132
01:01:08,608 --> 01:01:11,300
I don't love it. 
There's no bit. 

1133
01:01:13,200 --> 01:01:15,800
I don't know, I don't, I 
literally don't know. 

1134
01:01:15,800 --> 01:01:20,000
And I don't think I ever I can 
add to the millions of people 

1135
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:22,200
that have been trying to work 
out desire for the whole life. 

1136
01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:25,000
Like it's, I don't think it's 
something to be worked out. 

1137
01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:28,600
No, but I think it's something 
to just find it. 

1138
01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:32,200
Yeah, just on the whole. 
Yeah, exactly. 

1139
01:01:32,200 --> 01:01:35,800
A lot of people were saying, 
they avoid relationships and 

1140
01:01:35,800 --> 01:01:38,400
intimacy. 
Altogether terrified of romantic

1141
01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:42,800
relationships, chronically 
single, actively avoiding 

1142
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:43,700
relationship. 
Like God. 

1143
01:01:43,700 --> 01:01:46,700
There's quite a lot of people 
being like, yeah, I'm not 

1144
01:01:46,700 --> 01:01:49,400
getting involved. 
And what cycle would that be it?

1145
01:01:49,400 --> 01:01:52,800
That's almost like if you have 
had like a single parent or 

1146
01:01:52,800 --> 01:01:56,900
something that maybe has been 
like a bit miserable me, trying 

1147
01:01:56,900 --> 01:01:58,900
to prove yourself that you can 
be happy single. 

1148
01:01:58,900 --> 01:02:02,900
Like what would that cycle? 
Be ah okay, so like a parent who

1149
01:02:02,900 --> 01:02:05,500
didn't want to be who like was 
struggling to be single. 

1150
01:02:05,500 --> 01:02:07,200
Yeah. 
I'm always thinking like if it's

1151
01:02:07,200 --> 01:02:13,300
in terms of this Cycle Theory 
that Alan if you propose as 

1152
01:02:13,300 --> 01:02:15,700
hypothesis of it being like a 
cycle. 

1153
01:02:15,700 --> 01:02:18,600
If it's something that you want 
to be single or you, Trying to 

1154
01:02:18,600 --> 01:02:21,600
prove to yourself that. 
That is it can be a happy path. 

1155
01:02:22,300 --> 01:02:25,500
I thought it was less about them
wanting to be single and more so

1156
01:02:25,500 --> 01:02:28,500
that they've the relationship. 
They've seen is awful and so 

1157
01:02:28,500 --> 01:02:31,400
it's like well I'm not getting 
involved in that and therefore I

1158
01:02:31,400 --> 01:02:34,400
won't let enter like 
relationships aren't worth me 

1159
01:02:34,400 --> 01:02:38,400
even investigating even taking a
peek into, but that's not a 

1160
01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:42,800
cycle that's just like you're 
seeking to correct it by not 

1161
01:02:42,800 --> 01:02:44,100
doing that, I guess. 
Yeah. 

1162
01:02:44,100 --> 01:02:47,500
You know, I mean, yeah, like 
almost if that's what 

1163
01:02:47,500 --> 01:02:49,300
relationships are then, I don't 
want on. 

1164
01:02:49,300 --> 01:02:52,900
Yeah, I definitely get that. 
I really relate that like I 

1165
01:02:52,900 --> 01:02:56,700
really relate to like I thought 
if anyone that's kind of got a 

1166
01:02:56,700 --> 01:03:02,600
width of kind of an air of 
avoidance about my asthma that 

1167
01:03:02,600 --> 01:03:06,200
might ring about. 
Like I think I find that quite 

1168
01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:10,000
relative of just like that feels
Like a space. 

1169
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:15,800
That is like, threatening and 
like Just kind of. 

1170
01:03:16,900 --> 01:03:20,200
Like painful and her under us. 
I think mine might be something 

1171
01:03:20,200 --> 01:03:22,700
like I'm just working much 
shopping this. 

1172
01:03:22,700 --> 01:03:25,900
You know just right now. 
This is just super off the cough

1173
01:03:25,900 --> 01:03:26,500
at home. 
Yeah. 

1174
01:03:26,500 --> 01:03:30,900
But maybe in seeing something 
that I thought that's horrendous

1175
01:03:30,900 --> 01:03:35,400
and then having that thing of 
like, I'm Just the arrogance but

1176
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:38,900
I'm not going to fuck. 
Yeah, things are like I'm not 

1177
01:03:38,900 --> 01:03:43,200
going to be resentful. 
Yeah, I'm not going to fall for 

1178
01:03:43,200 --> 01:03:47,100
these stupid red flag. 
I'm not going to like I'm 

1179
01:03:47,100 --> 01:03:50,000
determined to not recreate. 
Yeah. 

1180
01:03:51,400 --> 01:03:54,800
That's kind of incomplete. 
Know, but I don't think it can 

1181
01:03:54,800 --> 01:03:56,500
even be completely. 
I do feel like resentment is a 

1182
01:03:56,508 --> 01:04:00,300
huge one like, I feel like we 
always talk about resembling in 

1183
01:04:00,300 --> 01:04:05,000
relationships, like, being the 
thing that we are most scared to

1184
01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:08,200
mirror basically like I feel 
like that's something and maybe 

1185
01:04:08,200 --> 01:04:12,600
that is why Kind of even bring 
it back to this like stable. 

1186
01:04:12,600 --> 01:04:14,500
Ah, yeah. 
And just like the idea like 

1187
01:04:14,500 --> 01:04:16,700
stable and like us and like what
this is. 

1188
01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:23,200
Just like, yeah, we I'm Not 
Gonna Leave You unexpectedly on 

1189
01:04:23,200 --> 01:04:26,200
a Friday night. 
Like, no, we go. 

1190
01:04:26,200 --> 01:04:30,300
I think we both are saying like,
we both and we both have really,

1191
01:04:30,300 --> 01:04:35,200
really like almost like Strict 
with very strict almost with our

1192
01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:38,700
happiness and like, sanity in a 
way. 

1193
01:04:38,708 --> 01:04:41,700
Like I feel like I don't know if
this will actually come through 

1194
01:04:41,700 --> 01:04:45,100
on the podcast in any way 
because I, from what you what. 

1195
01:04:45,100 --> 01:04:47,200
I've said on this, because 
sometimes I get political and 

1196
01:04:47,208 --> 01:04:51,200
angry, and like, I feel like I 
often get like that tone comes 

1197
01:04:51,200 --> 01:04:54,000
out through this. 
Okay, but I'm like quite 

1198
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:57,000
optimistic person. 
I think that comes okay. 

1199
01:04:57,000 --> 01:05:00,400
Does that come through? 
That's something I I definitely 

1200
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:03,400
have cynical stuff and all of 
the stuff, but I feel like I 

1201
01:05:03,400 --> 01:05:07,300
generally am a very, like, happy
and like, yeah, content and 

1202
01:05:07,300 --> 01:05:10,700
like, very my, like, natural 
state is very, like happy, and I

1203
01:05:10,708 --> 01:05:13,400
like to see good in or not 
necessary. 

1204
01:05:13,400 --> 01:05:14,800
So good. 
I am just a happy. 

1205
01:05:14,800 --> 01:05:17,000
I really truly do that very 
happy as a person. 

1206
01:05:17,008 --> 01:05:20,500
Well it might that's my state 
and I feel like that was a 

1207
01:05:20,500 --> 01:05:24,800
direct Rebellion from the 
resentment and everything that I

1208
01:05:24,808 --> 01:05:27,700
saw growing up of like wallowing
in staff. 

1209
01:05:27,700 --> 01:05:32,700
So I feel like I resentment, I 
feel like Not wanting to 

1210
01:05:32,700 --> 01:05:36,300
continue that cycle of like 
letting things get down in the 

1211
01:05:36,300 --> 01:05:37,300
fucking narrow. 
Yeah. 

1212
01:05:37,300 --> 01:05:41,100
Like kind of like worries mean 
narrative and go unchecked has 

1213
01:05:41,100 --> 01:05:44,900
completely like fucking spring 
boarded me into like a complete 

1214
01:05:44,900 --> 01:05:50,500
I like will not. 
Do that or like that really 

1215
01:05:50,500 --> 01:05:53,500
doesn't feel like my character 
at all. 

1216
01:05:54,700 --> 01:05:57,900
And we are very much like we 
say, we don't sweep under the 

1217
01:05:57,900 --> 01:06:01,600
rug and Beyond, we don't just 
know, sweep on the reactively. 

1218
01:06:01,600 --> 01:06:03,400
Look on the wrong. 
There are no rugs there. 

1219
01:06:03,400 --> 01:06:07,300
Oh, yeah, they're high ceilings 
big Windows. 

1220
01:06:07,300 --> 01:06:09,300
There's no hiding places. 
It is. 

1221
01:06:09,300 --> 01:06:13,500
No rugs. 
Hmm. because I think we are 

1222
01:06:13,500 --> 01:06:16,300
really scared of resentment like
that feels like a big thing that

1223
01:06:16,300 --> 01:06:22,000
we Did of love, it's the death 
of love and lie directly. 

1224
01:06:22,900 --> 01:06:26,300
All right, with what lovely 
place to end, really? 

1225
01:06:26,300 --> 01:06:28,600
How nice. 
All right. 

1226
01:06:28,608 --> 01:06:35,100
Okay, if you don't hear, I did 
enjoy that you go so good. 

1227
01:06:35,100 --> 01:06:39,300
Okay, if you assume the worst,