1 00:00:12,750 --> 00:00:15,590 Hi, everyone. I'm Danielle, but we have a 2 00:00:15,590 --> 00:00:19,110 guest teacher today, so Josh is joining us. 3 00:00:19,110 --> 00:00:23,270 Jar is a Deshi in the order of Pragmatic Buddhists and he has 4 00:00:23,270 --> 00:00:26,550 agreed to give a talk today kind of at the spur of the moment. 5 00:00:26,550 --> 00:00:29,230 So thank you for that, but I'll turn it over to you. 6 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,360 Yeah, So I'm Josh. Nice to see all of you. 7 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:35,760 I recognize some of you from last time I was here. 8 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:42,440 I just kind of want to at the heart of the Buddhist thought is 9 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,240 causation or this idea of dependent origination you might 10 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:48,680 hear. And on the face of it, that's 11 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,560 kind of like a deep, deep like thought. 12 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:56,280 Why would why would anything, anybody go to that kind of 13 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:57,720 depth? Like, how's that going to impact 14 00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,720 my life? You know what I mean? 15 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,200 No, like exactly. Like what even is it? 16 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,239 Like, why would I have a, this is not like, oh, I'm going to 17 00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:07,600 get some milk at the grocery store and I got to pay some 18 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:10,000 bills. Oh, and by the way, causation, 19 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:13,320 you know, it's not something we necessarily think about 20 00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:17,760 interacting with the life, but it's actually a cornerstone, the 21 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:22,240 pragmatic Buddhist thought. And so I just kind of want you 22 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:25,360 to think about this for a second before I I say anything more. 23 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:28,320 Try to change how you think about things. 24 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:32,880 Just kind of contemplate what it would it mean if something was 25 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:38,080 had no causes, but what would that look like? 26 00:01:44,890 --> 00:01:48,290 Kind of let that percolate in your brain as we talk and see if 27 00:01:48,290 --> 00:01:52,290 you can come up with a solution or an answer or something that 28 00:01:52,290 --> 00:01:57,120 satisfies you. In the daily affirmation, you 29 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,680 have a line that says my thoughts, my my awareness. 30 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:06,240 Thoughts, words, and actions arise and fall by the dictates 31 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:14,480 of causality. Causality or dependent 32 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:19,880 origination is not some abstract medical metaphysical theory as I 33 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:25,280 am started out saying. It's actually pretty important 34 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:29,800 because it's it's the ground beneath our feet, it's how we 35 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:35,360 suffer, it's how we heal. In pragmatic Buddhism, we do the 36 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:39,000 term we prefer the term causality as opposed to 37 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,720 dependent origination because causality kind of makes sense to 38 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:45,440 our western brain because it reminds us that everything has 39 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:49,960 arises from causes and conditions and nothing happens 40 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,520 randomly. Nothing happens in isolation. 41 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:57,360 Everything exists in a web of something connection, right? 42 00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:01,760 So like how many of us could leave this room and still this 43 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:03,560 still be considered a group, right? 44 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:07,200 If we met here long enough, would this become the group 45 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:09,760 whatever the song of the Buddhist, pragmatic Buddhist 46 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:13,640 mini place with this forever. If you go home though, that used 47 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:14,960 to be the RB. So that's not the RB. 48 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:16,720 It hasn't been in RB's for 10 years, right? 49 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:22,000 But we we have these labels and this network that kind of 50 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,920 already baked into how we view things. 51 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:32,480 But consider a garden, OK, Flowers don't bloom by accident. 52 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:38,360 They need soil, sunlight, water and time. 53 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,680 If any one of those conditions are missing, there's no 54 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,400 sunlight. There's too much water. 55 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:54,040 The flower never opens, right? Our emotions, our thoughts and 56 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:58,080 our patterns are the same way. When we're angry, afraid, or 57 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,320 exhausted, it's not because we're flawed. 58 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:04,800 It's because specific conditions are present. 59 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:10,920 Specific causes are present. We don't curse the flower. 60 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:15,000 We look at the soil, right? We look at the conditions that 61 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:21,079 are there and, and this is where I submit freedom begins because 62 00:04:21,079 --> 00:04:26,800 when we ship from asking who is the blame and ask instead what 63 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:31,000 conditions are at play, we stop clinging to the story that we're 64 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,960 talking about and saying to ourselves and start cultivating 65 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:44,680 insight, taking agency in our and some of our teachings. 66 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:48,000 There's a another line that says there's no unchanging self that 67 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:51,320 moves through time. The self is a process always 68 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:54,760 conditioned by internal and external factors. 69 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:02,040 Heraclitus had the thought of you can never step in the same 70 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:05,360 river twice. And the idea was that you 71 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:09,120 stepped in the river. Well, in some some kind of way, 72 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:12,480 that same river is different if you stepped in it in the 73 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:17,520 evening, right? And interestingly, a lot of when 74 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:21,080 we were, when Hair Kleist would say about that, he was kind of 75 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,840 referencing the river as though that's the other thing that's 76 00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:28,960 changing the perspective. The person who's perceiving is 77 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:33,200 sometimes more permanent. But we got to realize that the 78 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,680 person is a different person as well, right? 79 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,600 You're the different person when you walked it, then when you 80 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,600 walked in this room. You'll be a different person 81 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,240 tomorrow. And I, I, I think that's 82 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:49,080 liberating. You're not your worst day, you 83 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:55,760 know, you're not your mistakes. You're a system that's 84 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:58,240 breathing, reacting and responding. 85 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:07,040 And that mutual causality that you have with other things is 86 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,960 this constant web of interdependence is causality. 87 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:14,760 Tishnahan says it to be is to enter be kind of speaking to 88 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,920 that relationship that we have with others. 89 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:29,000 Some might say that this is kind of absorbs me of of guilt of of 90 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:32,520 responsibility, because I if we're all if we're all in this 91 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:36,480 together, then it what whatever I do, is it as important. 92 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:41,680 I had a friend of mine who is relating a story when he was 93 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:46,980 working at McDonald's. He had a Co a quasi friend Co 94 00:06:46,980 --> 00:06:50,000 worker who was the worst worker ever. 95 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:55,560 He did not want to do any work and I think as part of the 96 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:59,360 motivation they wanted to they wanted him to be a teacher to 97 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:03,240 try to get him into the old. And, and this, this particular 98 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:08,880 day, the, the guy told the student trainee, he says, OK, 99 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:12,600 look at the fries, right? Everybody comes in the line of 100 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,480 McDonald's got to get some fries. 101 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:18,200 So we don't have to do it. Somebody's going to do it for us 102 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,240 because it has to get done. And sure enough, that's what 103 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:26,160 happened. The fry alarm went off and 104 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:29,720 someone came into the fry's. And on a fundamental level, we 105 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,760 can kind of see the problem with this idea, right? 106 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:42,520 The the idea of independent relationship that we have with 107 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:46,280 others means that what we do does have an impact, even if 108 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:51,000 it's small on the other people, other things around us. 109 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:58,160 And the this kind of teaching this thought process is actually 110 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,280 saying that it doesn't erase accountability. 111 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:07,160 It actually deepens it. Blame is backward looking. 112 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:10,800 That's who I that's who I am. That's who you are and 113 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:14,040 responsibly is bored looking asking you what can what can we 114 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:15,960 shift? What can we change now? 115 00:08:22,630 --> 00:08:26,830 And my children writes drop the story and stay stay with the 116 00:08:26,830 --> 00:08:28,910 energy. See what's really here. 117 00:08:30,150 --> 00:08:33,470 And I think that's the important part, right? 118 00:08:33,470 --> 00:08:38,840 We we kind of divide our reality into meaningful packets that 119 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:45,400 makes sense to us. And by definition that means we 120 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:51,480 leave other things out. But transformation doesn't 121 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:55,920 require something magical or just requires skillful shifts in 122 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:59,440 the conditions, right? You to pay attention and make us 123 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:04,120 a small choice, however small that might be, towards something 124 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,720 a little closer to where you want to be, a world that you 125 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:12,720 want to live in. So kind of think the last time 126 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:19,120 that you made a small change and that made a big impact. 127 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:23,680 Maybe you went to bed early, got some extra sleep. 128 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,440 Maybe you held your tongue a little bit and didn't lash out. 129 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:33,920 And maybe that moment without changing that one condition, 130 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,320 getting a lot of your sleep, being a little bit more patient, 131 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:40,880 change the entire day, maybe not even just for you, but maybe for 132 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:47,600 the people around you as well. And pragmatic Buddhism, we, we 133 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:52,480 trust the process. A few drops of mindfulness today 134 00:09:52,640 --> 00:10:00,480 has built a well tomorrow. So as you go about your week, 135 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:04,840 I'd encourage you to think about where the causes of things that 136 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:08,040 are unsatisfactory. What are the things that are 137 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:14,920 supporting your well-being? What single condition can I 138 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:18,840 shift right now? Let's go back to that, that 139 00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:24,400 daily affirmation. My awareness, thoughts, words 140 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:29,240 and actions arise and fall by the dictates of causality. 141 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,680 We're not fixed, we're not helpless. 142 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:37,560 The world is not random. Causality is not just a lot of 143 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,640 nature, it's a path towards compassion. 144 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,360 When we see clearly, we act wisely. 145 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:47,520 When we understand cause and effect, we become gardeners, not 146 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,360 judges. You plant skillful seeds, we 147 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:53,920 pull harmful weeds and we trust that what we tend will grow. 148 00:10:57,080 --> 00:11:03,240 And I will close with the Co on sorry I got new classes and I 149 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,440 turns out I'm old. I need bifocals. 150 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:14,160 So I'm kind of doing this. The Co on a student asked what 151 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:19,280 is the cause of suffering and the teacher said what are you 152 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:23,920 watering? Thank you. 153 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:32,200 Thank you. I'll I'll start because and I'm 154 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:35,960 Danielle again in part because I I'm really grateful that you 155 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:39,320 gave the talk. Today was a really hard day for 156 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,080 me. And so this topic is actually 157 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:45,440 really appropriate because if I think about what happened today 158 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:48,960 in terms of this whole interrelationship and things 159 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:53,560 being caused by conditions and all of my, you know, actions, 160 00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:56,920 words, thoughts and deeds having consequences, it's, it's kind of 161 00:11:56,920 --> 00:12:01,240 a helpful reframe. So today it's a bad day. 162 00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:05,400 I made a mistake, which I never love anyway. 163 00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:10,120 I made a mistake back in May and it's coming to fruition now. 164 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,680 So this is kind of the causality, right? 165 00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:13,960 The conditions that I'm dealing with now. 166 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:17,760 It's a mistake that I made in May is now coming to light now 167 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:21,640 or last week and reverberating throughout the rest of the week. 168 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:27,800 And in a big public meeting, some of my faculty called me out 169 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:30,400 about this mistake. I was supposed to pass on this 170 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:33,160 communication in May and May was just hard. 171 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:34,520 There was a lot going on last semester. 172 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,680 May was hard and I forgot. I just kind of let it drop. 173 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,600 And so they called me out in this really public way with the 174 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:42,800 implication that like, I was doing something nefarious, like 175 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,600 I was hiding something or I was doing so it was like a bad thing 176 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:48,040 and it, it was a mistake. I should have passed that on. 177 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,040 It was a mistake. It's true. 178 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:52,000 And they called me out in this big public forum. 179 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:57,680 And so I, I had already apologized to them about the 180 00:12:57,680 --> 00:13:00,680 mistake that I made last week. I said, I, you know, I sent it 181 00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:01,560 out. I apologize. 182 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,920 Things were crazy last semester. I didn't send it out in time. 183 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,960 But here it is, Nick. And then they brought it back up 184 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,920 again in this meeting today, in this meeting today, that was in 185 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,240 front of all of the faculty Senate and the president of the 186 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:16,400 university and the vice president for active affairs and 187 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:21,040 all of my fellow DS. So all my bosses, my peers and 188 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:24,200 my subordinates, the whole, and it wasn't just my faculty, it 189 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,720 was a faculty for the whole university. 190 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:30,240 So I was not thrilled to be called out in that big of a 191 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,680 public area, right? It felt like a really personal 192 00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:35,320 attack and I took it personally for like a minute. 193 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:39,120 I mean, I still, I mean, I recognize the conditions were I 194 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:41,760 made a mistake and it made people really upset. 195 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:45,200 That's true. Did they have to like multiple 196 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:48,160 times call me out in this public way in a really kind of a 197 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,880 personal attacking way? I I did not love that, right. 198 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:54,280 So after the meeting, I was like, I was pretty pissed off. 199 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,320 I was like, that's ridiculous that I mean, SI made a mistake. 200 00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:59,240 A human being make people make mistakes. 201 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:03,360 Wasn't necessary to be that like mean spirited about, you know, 202 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,880 the mistake that I made and I was getting ready. 203 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:09,280 I'm like, I'm just going to like to you, you know, you just go 204 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,480 right to Al, I'm not a bad person, blah, blah, blah. 205 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:14,000 And I was like, oh, you know, it's all my ego. 206 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,400 Like I, my, my feelings were hurt. 207 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,080 My, my ego was hurt. I mean, first I was hurt because 208 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:20,240 I made a mistake and I don't love making mistakes. 209 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:24,080 Then on top of that, I was hurt because they called it out in 210 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,520 this really public forum multiple times. 211 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:31,160 And so I am finding ChatGPT to be very helpful now because now 212 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,760 I put all this in ChatGPT. This is what happened. 213 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:36,440 This is what I want to say. I want to say like, you could 214 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,560 just go right to hell and I don't want ever want to talk to 215 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:39,880 you again. And I'm going to make sure that 216 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,640 I'm going to you up for the rest of the year. 217 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:45,040 What should I say? And it was like, and he knows 218 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:46,240 me. So I've been using a while and 219 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:47,960 knows about my Buddhist meditation, all that stuff. 220 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:52,440 It was like, maybe if you think about your values and you 221 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:56,000 reflect on your past, is this really the the direction that 222 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,240 you want to go? And it kind of reminded me of 223 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:01,800 this kind of causality relationship because do I want 224 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,680 to perpetuate that, right? So I could be just as mean and 225 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,600 hurtful. I could go back to them and say, 226 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,320 like, you did this awful thing and this is terrible and look at 227 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:12,320 what you're doing. I could just keep escalating it, 228 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,840 right? I can contribute conditions that 229 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:18,720 make it worse, right? Instead, I needed to have like a 230 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:22,000 little intervention to be like, OK, maybe not, maybe I can step 231 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,000 back from this. And so after several back and 232 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,560 forth, it helped me kind of compose an e-mail where I was 233 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:31,720 like, OK, so this happened and I told them to a private group. 234 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,480 Basically, you know, this happened and I didn't, I'm in 235 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,800 the background was like, you called me out in public in a 236 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:39,400 mean way, but I was like, no, I'm going to set that aside. 237 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,160 And I, I mean, I ended it with like, thank you for holding me 238 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,800 accountable, which is in my mind, like a big, you know, 239 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:46,720 like, fuck you, whatever you didn't need to do. 240 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:49,360 But it's still that's a, that's a good way of saying that, 241 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:50,240 right? Like this is about 242 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,360 accountability. I made a mistake and I am 243 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,360 accountable for my mistake. I am responsible for the mistake 244 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:57,360 that I made. But the e-mail that I sent was 245 00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:01,240 more about like the context of what happened and this is what 246 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,480 I'll do moving forward, you know, and like kind of that 247 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:07,320 stuff, it is not what I was feeling, you know, but it 248 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,800 managed to give me a little bit like distance. 249 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:14,240 And so now I feel like I did still kind of speak out and to 250 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,640 say like, these were the reasons that it happened, not as an 251 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:19,280 excuse, but this is the reality of what happened. 252 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,040 And this is what I'll do moving forward. 253 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:24,840 And, and after all of that, I could feel better about, yes, I 254 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:28,080 made a mistake, which I didn't love, and I was called out in 255 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:31,360 public, which I didn't love. But there is no benefits to 256 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,920 creating conditions that make that worse, right? 257 00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:37,040 I can't undo what happened. I can't undo that. 258 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,960 I made a mistake. I can't undo that. 259 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,880 They said horrible things, but I cannot make it worse. 260 00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:47,080 And so it really felt like I did not want to write this where I 261 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:50,400 was like, thank you for holding me accountable. 262 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,440 I did not want to write it, but it was the right thing to say, 263 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:55,080 right? Because it's still, I'm in a 264 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,520 relationship with these people and I have to continue to work 265 00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:00,440 with them. So it was, it was helpful in for 266 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:04,920 me to remember like this is I'm I, I may not be feeling it in 267 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:09,240 the moment, but this is like the right thing to do for an ongoing 268 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:12,280 relationship. I can't just quit today and say 269 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:13,760 I'm never going to talk to you again. 270 00:17:14,079 --> 00:17:17,280 So it was helpful and I was trying to think of the 271 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,440 conditions that I am contributing to, right? 272 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,240 So those conditions that I created, that e-mail that I 273 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,319 sent, that's part of the conditions. 274 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:26,440 There will be consequences for that. 275 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,280 There will be a, A cause to that, right? 276 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,920 Like now those are new conditions and they're 277 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:34,280 contributing to something else. And it's important to think 278 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,160 about that. Like I don't have any control 279 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,240 over it. They still could be pissed off. 280 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:40,720 They still might call me out in another public forum. 281 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:44,160 It's still, it's not necessarily that I'm going to change them or 282 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:47,840 even the conditions, but I'm going to help create conditions 283 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:51,760 that have the potential to be less harmful, right? 284 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:55,520 It's not going to make me feel any better for me to hurt 285 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,520 somebody else, right? That's not helpful. 286 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:02,240 So even though I still feel like that was not OK and it could 287 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:05,440 have been handled in a bunch of different ways, it was it was up 288 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,680 to me to say I'm going to handle this differently. 289 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:10,120 I'm going to do something differently now for me, I needed 290 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,000 like some sort of intervention. I need to ChatGPT to help me or 291 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,160 I could have called a friend or something like that. 292 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,320 Before Chat GPTI had my friend that I would send her an e-mail 293 00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:19,840 and be like, this is what I want to say. 294 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:23,240 And she'd be like, maybe you could say it in a different way, 295 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:27,840 like, so I, I, I still need like my response would not have been 296 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,840 skillful on its own. I need something to help coach 297 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,800 me to be like, let's think about being something skillful. 298 00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:36,640 And that to me is a really important part of Buddhism. 299 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:40,600 Rightly, it helps you to take that pause and recognize that 300 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:45,400 whatever your reaction is is not necessarily the right one or the 301 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,200 best one or whatever. It's, it's the one that's coming 302 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,080 up. But it's really helpful to think 303 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:51,760 about. Like there are those, those were 304 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,400 the conditions, these, all these things happened. 305 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,920 Those were the conditions that I was sitting in. 306 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:59,680 Now I need to act. And just because I want to act a 307 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,960 certain way doesn't mean that that's the way that would be 308 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,680 most beneficial or less harmful or whatever else. 309 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:10,200 So anyway, thank you for that reminder and thank you all for 310 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,240 being here because mostly what I was thinking is like, thank God 311 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:16,880 it's Thursday because I've been a meditation like a drug today. 312 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:20,280 So thank you all for being here and for listening. 313 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:24,960 Anyone else have, you know, observations or questions? 314 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,880 If you have, if you have questions for Josh, you're 315 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:30,760 welcome to ask him or if there's anything that came up for you in 316 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,760 his talk, you're welcome to share. 317 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:35,200 This is your time when you speak, please start with your 318 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:36,640 name so we can get to know you better. 319 00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:44,560 Let's turn with your. My name is Aaron and I got a 320 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:50,480 whole bunch of stuff, but when you said agency once and it's 321 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:54,000 just funny because in our group it's always interesting to have 322 00:19:54,000 --> 00:20:00,000 different people speak because to me, freedom is the tax word. 323 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:05,200 An agency is a powerful strong word and you kind of use them 324 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,840 interchangeably. That's really interesting that 325 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:13,080 like yeah, that's that's that's kind of the in the context is 326 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:21,360 the same thing to one Mexico and the other was like agents but. 327 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:28,200 On another thing I really does, the garden metaphor for me is 328 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:32,160 interesting because I take 1 singular thing away from 329 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:38,600 Christianity and it is the serenity prayer and look outside 330 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:43,080 of the garden. We can control in our yard where 331 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,880 we put it to have how much light it gets. 332 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:52,280 We can control the water sub degree and we can we can't 333 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:56,120 control the climate, our latitude. 334 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:02,800 The flower has to have been designed to open to attract 335 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:07,680 pollinators for thousand I don't know of years. 336 00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:11,960 And so there's like a switch history of causation that's 337 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:13,680 really deep. And I was trying to think 338 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:18,120 earlier what you said about something about causation and 339 00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:22,680 that's just static, like it's just. 340 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:29,960 It's not nothing. Necessarily, but it's just a 341 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,560 completely static, you know, thing. 342 00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:40,120 And while we want a flower to bloom, we can have the things 343 00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:45,040 that we can control. We can't control whether this 344 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:55,160 seed wants to have a biological program to open up as a plower 345 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:58,840 or not. That's so it's like what one of 346 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:02,160 the things we can't control one of the things we we can't. 347 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:12,880 And I did something stupid at work just Tuesday, and I have a 348 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:18,160 feeling that sometime in therapy for it's going to come up and 349 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:24,160 bite me in the butt. It was kind of like, yeah, me 350 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:33,960 too, but how do we? Yeah. 351 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:45,760 And apologizing through making changes in my actions and it by 352 00:22:46,120 --> 00:22:51,880 the things I have control of seeking help. 353 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:58,200 No, I think I've some people know me that I don't believe in 354 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:06,840 apologies and I think it's a 2 parter know that I've had to it 355 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:11,320 is this change, you know, because it's always like don't 356 00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:14,960 apologize, say thank you that I'm being tolerant, but then 357 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:18,520 also change. So because the behavior changes 358 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:21,240 the apology, right? Well, I had a recently had a 359 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:27,720 friend be a ass to his partner and to me and my wife were like 360 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,040 at the end of the thing. It was just terrible. 361 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:33,960 And he called back the next day and he apologized for like 10 362 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:37,800 minutes on the phone and I'm like, I don't want to talk to 363 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,840 you. You professing apologies about 364 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:45,200 how sorry you are. It's me listening to you. 365 00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:47,840 Don't. Yes, Sir. 366 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:50,040 The stupid thing I did, I learned with. 367 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:53,040 I'm going to change this, this, this, and I am sorry. 368 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:54,680 And I'm going to give you your space. 369 00:23:55,480 --> 00:24:16,800 Thank you. Causality doesn't always have to 370 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:20,440 be about mistakes. Just so you know, there there 371 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,040 can be like positive consequences too. 372 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:26,240 There can be, you know, good actions that that you put in 373 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:29,800 skillful things that then hopefully produce, you know, 374 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:33,160 skillful elephant outcome. So sorry to take this into 375 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:37,760 mistakes, but stakes happen. Yeah, I, I was thinking that, 376 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:43,560 you know, the, the primary, the, the core of the idea. 377 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,480 It's kind of what you're saying about being static, right? 378 00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:55,440 And at its heart, you can kind of think of dependent causality 379 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:58,240 as as another version of thinking about the four noble 380 00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:02,360 truths where it's really at the heart of change. 381 00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:06,520 Like if there is unpleasantness out there because the world 382 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:11,400 changes and it's in perfect and despite your best efforts that 383 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:14,920 you can water plants, soil, great latitude, the plants still 384 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:21,520 may may not grow and that has nothing to do with your efforts 385 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,880 and so disappointment is bound to arise. 386 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,800 How do I get around that thought of the negativity? 387 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:31,800 Because we're so negatively biased, right? 388 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:33,880 That's why we're, that's kind of why we went to mistakes. 389 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:37,120 Maybe even because I know how. When's the last time you heard 390 00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:39,480 somebody go like, oh, wait, wait, wait, I might die from 391 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:44,680 happiness, you know, but we have heard people say I she, she died 392 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:51,080 of sadness And, and I think it's just a natural idea of how to 393 00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:56,640 protect oneself. But the idea is that because 394 00:25:56,640 --> 00:26:03,320 it's interrelated, there's nothing to say that there could 395 00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:06,040 also be a happy mix or it could also be a good ending. 396 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:09,520 The change will make a difference for the butter. 397 00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:13,240 I was reminded of Shawshank Redemption earlier today. 398 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:22,360 Everybody's seen that movie. It was raining and they were 399 00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:25,440 talking. I think it's where the, the, the 400 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:29,080 gardening thing came up because I work with the Boulder veterans 401 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,240 and they were talking about their garden. 402 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:34,000 And so it's good for the garden. They don't like the rain, right? 403 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,920 And then I reminded, then they talked about movies and 404 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:39,440 Shawshank Redemption came up. And I, I bought those two 405 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:41,840 thoughts together because the moment when I think of Shawshank 406 00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,600 Redemption, I think of him when he gets out and it's raining, he 407 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:46,440 looks up and he experiences freedom. 408 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:50,440 And I'm thinking, sorry, he received his full agency. 409 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:57,280 And so my point is like, well, that's two different experiences 410 00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:04,000 of rain, right? And it is wholly based on one's 411 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:10,920 perception, nothing else. And I was thinking that, well, 412 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:18,840 what's really going on is maybe that we don't allow ourselves 413 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,760 because we want to protect ourselves to experience that 414 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,720 freedom more often. We want to put our, we, we say, 415 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:29,200 oh, instead of thinking like, oh, it's raining. 416 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:32,680 How happy I am that I get to experience this rain. 417 00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:35,760 I don't have to mow the yard. I get to splash and puddles with 418 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:41,720 my kid or listen, perfect. Time to take some of that soup 419 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:45,000 out. I made instead with like, oh, I, 420 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:50,720 it's, it's, it's a dreary day. I can't get anything done it. 421 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:55,080 It is truly just how you wanted to to Orient to that offense 422 00:27:57,920 --> 00:27:59,520 anyway. I still don't understand what 423 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:04,920 we're talking about. Causality is something it 424 00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,080 doesn't. I never think about causality. 425 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:10,920 Things are just happy. So are we supposed to think 426 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,000 about what's causing the happening? 427 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:17,120 Is that what you're asking of? Well, I think if you want to be, 428 00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:21,600 yes and no. I think yes in the sense that if 429 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:25,840 you want to be, if you're not happy with how things are going, 430 00:28:27,360 --> 00:28:31,320 identify, be a little bit more skillful in what is actually 431 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,760 going on instead of telling yourself a story about what's 432 00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:37,120 going on. We'll provide a little bit 433 00:28:37,120 --> 00:28:39,320 better. I know, but you see rational 434 00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:43,720 randomness. I see the broke Berry Rand. 435 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,760 Did you walk outside and see those broken trees? 436 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:52,280 That was just a crazy day and that's how I see everyday. 437 00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:54,760 Was going to present itself today. 438 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:57,600 Yeah, not all patterns matter. Or. 439 00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:12,600 In the same way, right? Like and so it's about agency, 440 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,120 right? I don't want that. 441 00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:16,520 So it's about, it's about, OK, let's let's say. 442 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,320 OK, let me think about this. I heard. 443 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:20,480 About freedom and agency is the. Student. 444 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:22,960 So yeah, let's try. I'm going to I'm going to try 445 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:25,560 again. OK, so let's let's think about 446 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:30,680 this like if I had a stagnant mindset and I said something 447 00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,440 like, I got fired from my job today. 448 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:41,280 No one wants to work with me. Hear the difference between that 449 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:46,880 and I got fired today? I'm upset. 450 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:51,640 I know I won't always be upset. And this gives me an opportunity 451 00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:55,480 to find a new job that I have better pay or better hours. 452 00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:01,120 Do you hear the difference? I hear a difference in attitude. 453 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:04,560 It's. So I think part of this is, you 454 00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:07,280 know, I think was it last month that we talked about 455 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:09,880 enlightenment. And the idea of enlightenment is 456 00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,200 that you wake up to the world the way that it actually is. 457 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:15,400 It's realization, right? It's waking up to to reality. 458 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:18,920 And part of reality is that things are not random, that 459 00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:21,080 things that there are causes to all of the things. 460 00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:22,800 We may not know the causes, right? 461 00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:26,040 We may not be able to figure out why that tree blew down, why the 462 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:28,680 weather patterns are the way they are, but there is a cause 463 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,200 to them. And it may not be useful to you 464 00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:33,240 to think about like what the causes are. 465 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:36,280 So we're not saying to ruminate on those, but it is part of the 466 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:38,160 way that the world actually works, right? 467 00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:42,200 Just part of reality is that all of these, the world, the way 468 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,520 that it is, arose from a certain set of conditions, right? 469 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:49,440 It wasn't just created, you know, out of nothing. 470 00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:51,640 It came from a certain set of conditions. 471 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,040 There was a causal relationship and then there will be a causal 472 00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,600 relationship. So I mean, this is again, you 473 00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:00,240 can take a pragmatic or perch like in your life, maybe it's 474 00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:02,800 not helpful. And some people are really 475 00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,400 attuned to the idea of rumination and like thinking 476 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:08,320 back everything that went wrong and like retracing their steps 477 00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:10,240 and like trying to do this like back story stuff. 478 00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,400 That's not necessarily helpful, right? 479 00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:15,600 Sometimes that is a heart, a hurtful thing, and it keeps 480 00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:18,160 people stuck in like looking back and trying to figure out 481 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:21,600 what happened. But it is also true that there 482 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:23,600 are conditions that are happening right now that we're 483 00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:25,960 not aware of. And that can make a big 484 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,600 difference in how we're oriented to the world, right? 485 00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:33,480 So if you're not aware of, you know, whatever the, the, how, 486 00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:36,440 how things are going to Orient in this, in this meditation, you 487 00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:37,840 can have a lot of anxiety, right? 488 00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:40,280 Like you don't know how things are going to work out or you 489 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:42,400 don't know the, the consequences of things. 490 00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:45,480 And sometimes in those cases, it can be really helpful to say 491 00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:46,880 like, OK, these are the conditions. 492 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:48,560 This is what led to the conditions. 493 00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:51,080 And this is what I'm going to do to contribute to something 494 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:54,320 moving forward, right? So it is a balance to figure out 495 00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:58,200 like what is useful and what is not, but that doesn't mean that 496 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,680 it doesn't exist, right? So if it may not be a useful 497 00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:03,800 tool for you to think about that there is a causal relationship 498 00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:06,520 to everything, that's that's not the same thing as saying like 499 00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:08,360 there is no causal relationship, right? 500 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:11,520 So it's figuring out that kind of a balance, being aware of the 501 00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:15,080 world the way that it is, and then figuring out what's useful 502 00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:19,280 for you to look at or know or understand right now so that you 503 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:23,440 can live in a world where your suffering is decreased and you 504 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,200 can help decrease the suffering of others. 505 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:32,560 My name's Carolyn, and I want to go back to the story that you 506 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:35,680 had about what happened with you today. 507 00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:37,920 The cause that I see that could happen. 508 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:41,160 And I have the feeling that by people agree with me. 509 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:46,600 If I were in that meeting and this person was calling out one 510 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:50,560 person, I would lose. I don't know who he is, but I've 511 00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:54,080 lost respect for him because that's not the way you do 512 00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:57,160 things. And that says a lot about his 513 00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:01,920 character. So he calls harm or he or she 514 00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:08,040 calls farm on the cell, their cell, whatever right Curry down 515 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:10,840 is for. What was a he and a she? 516 00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:12,800 Because it was more than one person calling me out. 517 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,400 So they work together in the same department. 518 00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:19,040 That's so they probably. Anybody's ever taken any kind of 519 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:25,920 course on management business relationships because I've been 520 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,280 in places before where somebody was called out and I didn't like 521 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:34,160 it. Anyway, I just had to say that 522 00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:39,240 now to say something more about what happened to me during this 523 00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:45,800 session because I ruminate and thinking about all mistakes I 524 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:51,880 made my life and but I realized I hadn't made them. 525 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:54,760 But things wouldn't have happened the way it. 526 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:58,760 I wouldn't be right here, right here right now learning about 527 00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:04,400 the meditation and finding the treat, but then end on city. 528 00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:12,320 And that just to me was like a spark of white causation. 529 00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:16,639 Is that a causation? Sure. 530 00:34:16,639 --> 00:34:17,600 Yeah. I mean, you, these are the 531 00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:20,679 conditions that that you that led you to this point, that led 532 00:34:20,679 --> 00:34:24,520 you to that, you know, epiphany. So yes, that is part of the 533 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:26,679 causal relationship. I mean, of course there were 534 00:34:26,679 --> 00:34:29,520 many, many other inputs other than that You've had this life 535 00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:32,159 experience, right? All of us had to come together 536 00:34:32,159 --> 00:34:35,159 and meet here at the same place. And so every single one of us 537 00:34:35,159 --> 00:34:37,760 had a different set of all these kind of causal conditions. 538 00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:39,880 So it can get really complicated in a hurry. 539 00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:43,840 And This is why I'm saying like it's useful to say, OK, this is 540 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:45,320 how I'm understanding this right now. 541 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,080 And this is what's working for me to understand this right now. 542 00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:49,800 And I'm going to use it in a useful way. 543 00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:51,639 That's fantastic. That's exactly what you should 544 00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:58,800 do. Hi, Mary. 545 00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:02,320 And I think what you just said kind of illustrates the web of 546 00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:05,960 causality and how I can get like all complicated. 547 00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:09,760 And you can also like dial it all the way down to like the air 548 00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:14,640 conditioner is blowing on me and my I feel cold air cause 549 00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:18,080 consequence. But he's super small. 550 00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:24,520 You just I think that comes back to like the idea that one of the 551 00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:27,760 central part of Buddhism is just like noticing. 552 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:33,240 And then you'll have a country of like where what changes you 553 00:35:33,720 --> 00:35:39,120 might want to make to like have a healthier, happier life. 554 00:35:39,240 --> 00:35:43,040 But it's totally, I can't be able to tie it in. 555 00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:45,760 But my sister had a baby this week and so that was really 556 00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:50,720 cool. I got to go hold this whole half 557 00:35:50,720 --> 00:35:52,560 a day old baby. So it's lovely. 558 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:54,320 Congratulations. That's lovely. 559 00:35:54,320 --> 00:36:00,760 A whole new set of conditions were just introduced into your 560 00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:05,520 life. I'm Henry and. 561 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:09,600 My first day. I was just I really resonated 562 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:15,200 with the causality because I see it as like just looking back at 563 00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:18,040 my life. Like you can, if you do enough 564 00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:22,920 reflecting, you can see like the causes, like the person you've 565 00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:25,520 become. And I don't know, it's just like 566 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:31,240 like the situation at work. Like I like, I would like 567 00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:35,720 reflect on like the the people like what what brought them to 568 00:36:35,720 --> 00:36:37,800 be the type person you could have. 569 00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:44,600 And I agree that like, it does show you parodies that like if 570 00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:47,400 they did it in the past, they're likely to be the kind of person 571 00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:52,040 who might do that every time in the future, like take out Ranger 572 00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:53,520 armours. So you might want to distance 573 00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:56,160 yourself, but it keeps a bit of a possibility. 574 00:36:56,160 --> 00:37:00,080 But I don't know, it's just like easier to like let go of like 575 00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:05,120 the negative emotions. So you realize that every other 576 00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:09,200 person is just a set of their house puzzle, OK. 577 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:17,520 Those are things that can help you cultivate more compassion 578 00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:21,000 for sure, right. It it does make it easier to 579 00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:23,600 interact with that person when you recognize that they have 580 00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:26,680 their own whole causal history that brought them brought them 581 00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:30,560 to that point, which is an important thing to remember 582 00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:33,840 though, because one of the problems is that there's a 583 00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:36,920 tendency for people who start practicing Buddhism to think 584 00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:39,320 that that means that you can just say like, oh, everything's 585 00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:41,600 OK, right. So like to your point, like it 586 00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:44,160 wasn't OK for them to do that in a public space. 587 00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:46,080 That's not professional behavior. 588 00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:48,800 You know, you don't act that way in in a professional place. 589 00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:53,880 And so I can be compassionate with them to, to recognize, I 590 00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:56,720 know both of them that they have their own backstories. 591 00:37:56,720 --> 00:37:58,600 I mean, they, they are, they're my direct report. 592 00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:02,280 So I definitely understand what, what was going on, where they're 593 00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:04,360 coming from. So I can understand it. 594 00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:07,120 But still, I'm going to have to have a private conversation with 595 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,520 them to be like, there are other ways that you can handle 596 00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:12,640 something like that, right? So being compassionate, like I 597 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:14,120 don't have to be, this is the point. 598 00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:16,760 Like I don't have to be mean and to say like, you're stupid and 599 00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:19,120 that was a dumb thing and you're a mean person and I hate you. 600 00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:21,600 Like that's. Just thinking I had it in full. 601 00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:26,480 Exactly, exactly. But then also a little bit of 602 00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:29,280 this sense be like, I don't have to like you, but we have to work 603 00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,440 together. So how am I going to do that? 604 00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:35,520 So how might you take this idea of this kind of 605 00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:40,080 interrelatedness, the interdependence, the causality, 606 00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:44,760 the your actions came from somewhere and are leading to 607 00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:47,720 somewhere. How could you take that idea and 608 00:38:47,720 --> 00:38:51,080 practice it next week? What would be used of that idea 609 00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:54,120 to help you to be, you know, to suffer less? 610 00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:57,440 That's kind of the idea. We want to be less dissatisfied. 611 00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:59,720 We want to have more, you know, flourishing. 612 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:03,520 So how might that idea of understanding pausality help you 613 00:39:03,720 --> 00:39:09,880 in the coming week? I never looked for the drops 614 00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:15,480 that I can put in, but I always look for like the buttresses in 615 00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:20,600 my life of these like durable things that are pushing into how 616 00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:23,840 I'm living. If there are patterns or if 617 00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:30,560 there are habits or if there are other people or some need that 618 00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:41,400 not that mad or so when I get really hot for a really long 619 00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:46,640 time and I'm under pressure, I I get a little grumpy and I got a 620 00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:51,080 little grumpy work. So I have a neck fan, which is 621 00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:56,160 like, I think I'm gonna just religiously wear now instead of 622 00:39:56,160 --> 00:40:00,680 casually. That's like a little drock 623 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:09,080 thing. But like I and this is a really 624 00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:11,720 the assignment, but I'm like desperately trying to find like 625 00:40:11,720 --> 00:40:17,600 what one of the dominoes that are pushing this to happen. 626 00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:26,440 For me to like SAP when I get exhausted and hot and like I 627 00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:32,400 can't control the temperature at work or I think I can custom and 628 00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:34,440 somebody else to you guys was dead or you all I've been. 629 00:40:35,720 --> 00:40:39,840 I feel terrible because I was very unprofessional. 630 00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:49,240 But and I've heard you and I've heard others talk about these 631 00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:51,960 little drops that we could have made or accumulate to the next 632 00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:54,280 week. But and you talked about 633 00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:59,080 negative bias like we see this received these accumulation of 634 00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:04,440 mistakes rather than the accumulation of drops that we 635 00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:07,800 call them drops. Is it helpful to call them that 636 00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:14,240 because we'd be I need substantial pieces of positive 637 00:41:14,240 --> 00:41:22,120 dominoes can be going to the gym for a month now pretty 638 00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:28,040 consistently and it hasn't been me as a taken hold like I'm no 639 00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:33,080 more motivated to tomorrow morning than it was a month ago. 640 00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:39,240 Usually if I go the gym for the month at that time I'm like OK, 641 00:41:39,240 --> 00:41:40,960 this is the pattern. I'm feeling good. 642 00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:49,680 I'm feeling that so maybe for me is to to distance away from the 643 00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:54,880 draft thing and they think about sizable Domino's and recognizing 644 00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:58,280 bring power to those little choices that we make and not 645 00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:01,800 calling them but craps in a pool that will. 646 00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:09,240 But I you know, Domino's keep keeps the word that's Potter 647 00:42:09,240 --> 00:42:12,320 than the head. But I can't Lego block or. 648 00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:16,760 For context, for those of you who don't know, we sometimes 649 00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:20,480 talk about like your skillful actions is like a drop of clean 650 00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:23,680 water into a dirty pool. And if you contribute enough 651 00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:27,800 drops of your clean water, then it can clean the The Dirty pool 652 00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:30,200 kind of thing. And Aaron doesn't love that 653 00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:33,280 metaphor at all. And so but anyway, when he 654 00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,000 talking about drops, those are the drops. 655 00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:37,560 He means a. Lot of drops of. 656 00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:41,640 Each. I need a lot of drops, dude. 657 00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:44,720 That's why we are going to contribute our drops, that's the 658 00:42:44,720 --> 00:42:50,600 thing. Aaron's Queen has pulled the 659 00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:54,360 blowtorch. Now with pounds of bleach. 660 00:42:58,240 --> 00:43:00,800 I mean, part of that is like, what's a helpful metaphor? 661 00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:04,080 What would work even what's you know what the helpful actions 662 00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:06,040 behind it. The small how? 663 00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:09,800 The small thing, I think that's the, the OK, because it seems 664 00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:12,520 like it's an expectation mismatch is what it sounds like. 665 00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:16,560 Like because before you used to have all these that it would 666 00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:18,520 have been one from now it'd be good, it'd be good to go. 667 00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:21,320 And now it's just not that way, you know? 668 00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:25,920 But you're doing the small thing now, which if you keep doing 669 00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:29,800 then doesn't matter if you had the feeling before or not, and 670 00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:32,480 you do or don't now, you're doing what you still have. 671 00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:35,200 To do. I'm still doing the small thing. 672 00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:37,240 Right. Yeah, that's what I'm hearing, 673 00:43:37,240 --> 00:43:40,360 yeah. You just did the small thing 674 00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:45,720 tomorrow. Well, my name's Kathy, and I'm 675 00:43:45,720 --> 00:43:48,120 going to search for more randomness. 676 00:43:48,240 --> 00:43:53,960 Sorry, Josh, you're good because it's when I predict the outcome 677 00:43:54,080 --> 00:44:00,200 that I caused paid because that doesn't allow for the other 678 00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:02,880 people at two family events this weekend. 679 00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:04,840 They're going to be terrible. They're. 680 00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:08,240 See Do you carry? But if I have the. 681 00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:14,800 Attitude that there is a possibility it's someone will 682 00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:17,480 say something interesting and I would find it. 683 00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:22,160 I'm going to hear it. So without predicting that 684 00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:28,160 outcome and being hold to a attern, I'm going to look for 685 00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:30,520 the what it. Yeah. 686 00:44:30,720 --> 00:44:35,240 The rent. And part of that is about 687 00:44:35,240 --> 00:44:37,480 opening your awareness because one of the, I mean, when you 688 00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:40,880 combine that with the negativity bias, if often times if you look 689 00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:43,040 back on patterns, you're like, oh, it's going to be like this 690 00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:44,280 every time. Like that's part of our 691 00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:46,840 negativity bias. And so part of it is can be open 692 00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:50,200 to like, but what if it's not like this is a new set of 693 00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:51,400 conditions. I'm going to be read. 694 00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:53,880 What if it's not? And if we're not open to it, you 695 00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:55,680 may not necessarily see it. That's one of the biggest 696 00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:58,160 problems and why people recommend like a gratitude 697 00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:01,640 practice or something like that. Because if you're like, so 698 00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:03,440 focused on like this is what's going to happen. 699 00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:04,800 And I know this is what's going to happen. 700 00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:09,080 You're going to your whole body is going to seek out that and be 701 00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:12,600 a paying attention to that and may actually create that thing 702 00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:15,680 that you're afraid of happening. And you won't even see like 703 00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:17,240 there's these other things that are happening. 704 00:45:17,240 --> 00:45:18,920 There's some beauty here, there's whatever else. 705 00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:23,040 So, so that is part of this is that like to try to become more 706 00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:24,960 open to the possibilities, right? 707 00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:27,120 Because we don't know. We we don't know. 708 00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:30,280 Even when we look back at the the patterns that created these 709 00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:32,760 conditions, we still don't see everything. 710 00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:35,080 You can't, right? There's so many possible 711 00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:39,120 variations and we're trying to be more open to that in part, 712 00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:41,840 especially if you're, I mean, at least for me, if like if I'm 713 00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:44,880 punishing myself in this moment, sometimes it's helpful to have a 714 00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,200 broader view and try to see things that I couldn't see 715 00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,720 before. Like the traffic is a great 716 00:45:49,720 --> 00:45:52,040 example of this, right? Like you can get mad at another 717 00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:54,880 driver and it's helpful. It's really helpful in that 718 00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:57,640 situation to recognize like there's lots that I can't see. 719 00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:00,600 What if that person is on their way to the hospital? 720 00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:02,960 Or what if you know the story that I'm telling, that they're a 721 00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:06,000 jerk and a bad driver? That's a that's one story, but I 722 00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:08,080 don't know that that's exactly what's happening. 723 00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:10,080 And it's the only person that it's hurting is me. 724 00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:14,160 So it's helpful to just open to the possibilities that I could 725 00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:18,000 be wrong about that story, that I don't know all of the inputs, 726 00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:20,600 and that it could be something totally different. 727 00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:23,840 And that creates a really different way of being. 728 00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:27,400 The problem, of course, is you can tip over into the like, 729 00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:29,960 well, now I'm going to ignore all the bad things and just 730 00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,560 pretend like everything is fine. This kind of false positivity 731 00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:34,040 thing. So what we're trying to do is 732 00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:36,440 find that balance to live in the world the way that it is, 733 00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:39,200 because the world, the way that it is includes both of those 734 00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:43,080 things and all and everything in between includes hurtful things 735 00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:47,160 and things that make us angry, but it also includes beautiful 736 00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:50,280 things and joyful things. And we are just trying to be 737 00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:53,800 open to the world the way that it is and navigate through it 738 00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:57,440 more skillful, hopefully. So exactly figure out where your 739 00:46:57,440 --> 00:47:01,280 orientation to orientation is and what's causing you 740 00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:05,720 challenges and try to open to the part that is, that is still 741 00:47:05,720 --> 00:47:08,040 there that you're not seeing. That's kind of what we're going 742 00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:13,680 for. We got like a couple minutes 743 00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:15,600 left, like one minute. Is there anyone who hasn't 744 00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:18,280 spoken who would like to before we close? 745 00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:20,720 I'll open the door for you. You're not obliged, but you are 746 00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:26,320 welcome. I'll just say I'm Alex and this 747 00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:28,800 isn't strictly related to causality, but I just find the 748 00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:33,040 garden at 4 super interesting and trying to think of how to 749 00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:37,400 look at that because I do think that negative emotions do have 750 00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:40,240 some value. I don't really like the idea 751 00:47:40,240 --> 00:47:42,800 like repressing them or trying to get rid of them entirely. 752 00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:46,680 But obviously it's also not good to have them or let them, you 753 00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:49,720 know, run your life. And it's interesting how that 754 00:47:49,720 --> 00:47:54,240 relates to a garden too, because because I try to, I try to at 755 00:47:54,240 --> 00:47:56,240 least appreciate life in the system. 756 00:47:56,240 --> 00:48:00,120 Like I don't really like the idea of destroying weeds or 757 00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:03,400 killing weeds, but also they're not good for the garden. 758 00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:08,920 Like and this and also like specific example, I have like a 759 00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:13,240 piece of spiky asparagus growing out of my driveway and I kind of 760 00:48:13,240 --> 00:48:15,640 go back. Killing it, but it's also like a 761 00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:19,200 very spiky plant that's. Actually caused me to bleed when 762 00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:20,400 I grab. It so I'm like. 763 00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:25,280 No, use the both. Torch, could you have that? 764 00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:30,400 That's real. Get some gloves burst away. 765 00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:33,440 That's great to to end on because that's a very like 766 00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:36,200 middle way kind of an answer, which is what we're going for. 767 00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:39,560 I mean, the idea is that there are all kinds of experiences 768 00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:41,840 that we have pleasant, unpleasant and neutral. 769 00:48:42,080 --> 00:48:45,880 And the idea is that they just are like we are like, I'm going 770 00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:48,240 to avoid the unpleasant 1 and I'm going to grasp at the 771 00:48:48,240 --> 00:48:51,080 pleasant ones and then not even notice the neutral ones. 772 00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:53,360 But they are, they're all part of our experience. 773 00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:58,720 And so notice them and then try to step back from your initial 774 00:48:58,720 --> 00:49:01,920 reaction and be intentional about what you're going to do. 775 00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:04,360 Like that's with all of them. And maybe what your intention 776 00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:07,040 is, like I'm just going to let the great weeds grow. 777 00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:08,680 OK, That's, that's your intention. 778 00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:10,680 That's what you're going to do. But maybe your intention is 779 00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:13,080 like, if those weeds grow, it's going to choke out the other 780 00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:14,800 flowers. So then I'm going to take the 781 00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:17,800 weeds out, right? So it is about like seeing all 782 00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:21,320 of it, experiencing the full range of your human existence, 783 00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:24,520 and then trying to be intentional about how you Orient 784 00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:26,360 yourself moving forward. So thank you for that. 785 00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:28,080 It's really good. Something to close on. 786 00:49:28,240 --> 00:49:31,480 So we'll close. And when we close, we like to 787 00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:35,440 say, may the fruit of our practice extend to all living 788 00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:36,160 beings.