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Hello again. 
My name is Aaron and last week 

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we spoke about Zen mind, 
beginner mind. 

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We talked about the first part, 
which kind of got into the 

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simple attention to posture and 
sitting and the simplicity of 

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what it is to meditate correctly
is to just sit and do it. 

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And if you're sitting and doing 
it, it's right and you're not 

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doing it wrong because you're 
doing it. 

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They talked about things that we
struggle with within that the 

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sitting meditation are the kind 
of if, if, if we have more 

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trouble with something and 
that's our sticking point, then 

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that's a skill that we're 
building and not to treat it 

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with negativity. 
And we got really big into the 

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no dualism, how I am both 
physical body and mind AS2 

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separate things and as to to as 
one thing and two things. 

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And that contradiction making it
difficult to to to look at 

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anything in the world that's 
just simply one or two things 

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dualistically. 
This week we're going to get 

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into that same book and we're 
going to discuss right attitude.

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And in that a couple of points I
wanted to to touch base on the 

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first first kind of introduction
to it. 

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I found the the introduction of 
the the single minded way. 

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You are a, if you are aligned 
with your true Buddhist self and

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you're just kind of perceiving 
the world on this, this rail 

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that is the same and it's always
the same because you are the 

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same and always the same. 
And that when we sit in 

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meditation, we need to just 
observe. 

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And when we try to, to sit for a
reason or for a purpose that 

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that becomes counterintuitive to
what we're, we're trying to do. 

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Danielle often talks about the 
cushion that we have between our

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social interactions and our 
crises in our lives that we get 

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from sitting on the cushion. 
And in this it discussed what I 

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drew from it was we cannot sit 
to seek to build the Christian, 

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but we have to be aware that 
when we sit, we are building the

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cushion at the moment. 
We're trying to sit and chase 

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after that thing and to try to, 
to not just ride on the rail of 

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who we are and try to chase 
after that goal of, of, of 

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building the cushion or settling
our mind or trying to actively 

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do something. 
I, I think it degrades the, the 

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meditation it got into, in the, 
in the sitting in what we're 

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doing to called leave no trace. 
And, and that like when we're 

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engaging in our world, we're 
engaging in our tasks that we go

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through life to engage in them 
fully and to, to leave nothing 

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left to be redone. 
And in doing that and being 

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fully present while we 
experience something, we're less

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likely to come back with a 
residue. 

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And even thinking you did a 
really good job of something and

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being pride prideful of it, 
that, that that pride is not a 

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memory of that, but a residue of
it. 

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And that in your further 
interactions with the people and

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that task that you did that 
pride of, we'll, we'll stick to 

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it. 
And so that we want to try to be

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as fully present and engaged 
with what we're doing. 

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I know in my workshop, if I'm 
doing a piece of art or creating

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a woodworking piece and I'm not 
fully engaged, not only do I 

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make errors or I just make it to
a lesser quality, will that that

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piece for the rest of its 
existence will, will wear that. 

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And like, it's funny, I didn't 
realize this pin right here I 

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made and I see the imperfections
all the time. 

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And this was a rather early pin 
that I made. 

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And so some of the errors that I
see are like, oh, well, that's 

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just me doing the best I could 
at the time. 

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And then some of the errors that
I see are from distraction. 

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So there's a difference in 
those. 

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But that's the thing. 
So when we sit in my journey, 

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when I first set, I found a lot 
of joy come in the earlier 

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moments of it. 
That's another thing it talked 

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about. 
And that are sitting shouldn't 

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really be chasing that joy. 
And if you would have told me 

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that 10 years ago, I feel like I
was like, you did tell me that 

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10 years ago and I was like, 
shut up. 

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That's not true. 
This is great. 

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I'm going to keep doing this in 
the most advanced stages or what

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they would call the book, the 
level 4, you're just sitting 

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just to sit and just to be 
turned in with the now and the 

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present moment. 
On the third level, you're, 

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you're having some physical 
pleasure from just being there. 

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Level 2, you have some spiritual
and a physical joy from being 

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there. 
And I remember sitting in the 

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chair. 
Do you remember those earlier 

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meditations where you're just 
like, good, I'm doing it good. 

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And and this, this is funny 
because I hosted meditation here

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on the 1st on the holiday and 
not there wasn't a lot of energy

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for that. 
Danielle was like, I'll just 

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cancel it. 
It's fine. 

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But I was chasing it. 
I wanted like, no, I need to 

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build some of that cushion. 
I need to say I'm trying to get 

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that whatever back that I felt 
like I've lost. 

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And in that I looked into this 
book and and since then I really

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found a rejuvenation in the 
book, which has been really 

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good. 
But if you're chasing a goal for

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chasing that good feeling, then 
you are attaching to something 

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that is not anchored, real and 
present. 

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And then therefore you are 
taking away from the experience.

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There was a point where we 
talked about hip hop, talked 

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about limiting your activity in 
that. 

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And I'm going to go back to my 
workshop like I have to have 

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sharp tools to do good work. 
And it takes a lot of time to 

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sharpen the tools and then and 
then it takes time and effort to

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do the project. 
And I haven't even just the 

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other night, I just committed to
the tools are not that sharp, 

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but I'm just going to focus on 
doing the work with the tools 

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that are not as sharp as they 
should be because there's one to

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do less because there's wanted 
to be present with what I was 

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doing. 
And if I tried to sharpen the 

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tools that I'd have to adjust 
the sharpener and then there was

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like 7 or 8 different things 
that I had to do to get it to 

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work. 
But I could just work with 

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slightly dull tools. 
They're still sharp, but not as 

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sharp as they could be. 
I don't think that is exactly 

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what this had in mind, but it's 
just easier to be present when 

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you're we're trying to do less 
when your goal is to just finish

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the project or to engage with 
the relationship or to to just 

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sit. 
But that's that's better. 

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There was a bit of talk about 
the repetitive nature of sitting

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and that you need to have 
tolerance for the the 

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repetition. 
And then if something, if your 

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practice is starting to feel 
redundant or unpleasant, that 

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that is just your practice 
communicating to you that 

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something is out of tune and 
needs to be adjusted and talk 

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towards the the need to have a 
teacher or relationship with the

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Sanga. 
It it ended the section talking 

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about the the Nirvana or the 
end. 

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And for those who know me, I 
don't like to dive too much into

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the spirituality of things and 
that I I tend to to feel 

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repelled by the thinking of 
that. 

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But the the book had a really 
good, good way of, of 

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associating just the wholeness 
of of God. 

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A monk was sitting at Yellow 
Star or Yosemite and and saw the

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waterfall and considered the 
river being whole and then the 

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falling water, having the water 
broken into individualized drops

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and falling and then back into 
the river whole again and 

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associated the human life. 
Amazing thing as the experience 

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of dropping as the individual 
water droplets and that while a 

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river is whole, we don't think 
of the water in it as separate 

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from the fish and the life and 
the the leaves and the rocks, 

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but in the waterfall. 
Then the image reality of the of

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the the the drops of water. 
For some reason the monks 

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thought the water was struggling
to fall. 

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But I think that was just 
important for the metaphor. 

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So we shouldn't go with that, 
but just the the kind of 

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metaphor that the even 
experience is, is us being 

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isolated from the, the true 
combined way, the dualistic 

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everything is whole but part at 
the same time and reducing our 

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apartness and our practice and 
being settled down to the to the

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way of things is is generally 
the the right attitude. 

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So on that we'll open up the the
room to a discussion and, and 

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kind of I wanted to just open it
up to people's like expectation 

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of what meditation should be and
what, what kind of conflicts 

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they've had with that 
expectation of what they felt 

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meditation should be and then 
the initial experience they had 

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with it. 
I'm trying not to expect 

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anything or yeah, I, I try not 
to tie it down. 

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There's some type of formulation
in my mind, some type of, I feel

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just go in and just for the sake
of doing it. 

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So I try and forget about the 
past meditations or the future. 

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Meditations that this drop is 
something now in the present and

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I love non dualistic thinking 
was like the waterfall reminds 

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me in like. 
Like like the ocean of mirror 

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the waves. 
You know and. 

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When they call mirror the ocean 
that we're all the ocean. 

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And I feel like maybe in 
meditation that gives me a 

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chance can be the wave and the 
ocean. 

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You know, at the. 
Same. 

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Time, of course, in. 
Commute thoughts? 

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Compliment binds, so I'm going 
like this. 

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After. 
Certain waves, you know, but 

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yeah, I just find peace and 
just. 

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Relax at me. 
As you like. 

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The right intention. 
Is that is that how you 

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initially approached it or or 
was that like I learned Pat 

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initially? 
I know I initially would get 

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this a little discouraged 
because like it. 

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Sounds the pop of my mind and 
then I'd feel myself. 

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You're flustered, got it. 
You know, I can't even do right,

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you know, So I kind of. 
Relax and let it. 

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Go you know, it oscillates to 
this psychic, you know, thoughts

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and it right you guys in dogs 
and they're relaxing. 

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I think that's such an 
interesting part of the process 

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because we've all come to this 
room, we've all had to been 

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motivated to come to this room. 
But then at the same time, the 

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act of sitting in Drew Zen Zazen
is is so averse to being goal 

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driven or goal related. 
And we just have to force 

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ourselves to do something then 
and then do nothing while we're 

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doing that something that we're 
forcing ourselves to do. 

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They're trying to find that 
balance of that and I found time

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sitting on the cushion with a 
racing mind, trying to to not be

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frustrated or think that I was 
doing it wrong. 

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And then and then finding 
different shabbies to just 

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ultimately be like, just the 
fact that I'm sitting on this 

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cushion. 
And here it really is amazing 

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how you can just put that 
through your head a few times 

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and it seems to just quiet it 
down. 

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But it's it's been so long since
I learned that I forget that 

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thinks a little bit of fate. 
Initially is what it takes 

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because otherwise, while we're 
hearing it's just sitting here, 

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you know, you have a little bit 
of faith and it it, you know, 

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something you told me, I guess. 
But then at the same time, 

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because she can't put too much 
expectation in them. 

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So. 
Oh yeah. 

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But I. 
Definitely had a little. 

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Bit of faith that it was 
something I should be doing, you

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know? 
I was going to say that I'm sure

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pretty sure. 
So what's coming to my mind 

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tonight is the middle class. 
And I was drawn to Buddhism 

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because it's a more grounded 
than reality kind of aspect 

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because Don was scared of a 
little bit. 

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And you know, I want to see 
things and experience things for

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where they are and not have to 
distribute by this idea. 

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And brutism tells me that I 
practice these things that I'll 

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be able to be see. 
Clearly, yeah, Base. 

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But I think all real news have 
an aspect of truth. 

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And then? 
And what's flowing in my mind 

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tonight is the middle pass. 
And so one thing that I do a lot

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is I take things away to its 
reconcile and I think that gets 

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in the way of the spirituality. 
And I think a lot of the little 

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setup was in my beginner's 
modern. 

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I think that beginner's, but 
might had that aspect of not 

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taking place too serious. 
Uptronic is beginner. 

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I've heard recently that we're 
coming to this world as soft 

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beings, you know, and that is 
light and life is flexible and 

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moving them and and the person 
also told me that death is rigid

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and whenever we die, like we 
come stiff but causes. 

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And so maybe we actually relax 
back into the flow of reality, I

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guess. 
But. 

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I don't know, I want to try and 
be more. 

226
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,400
Serious about not taking? 
Things so serious. 

227
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,760
And that's interesting. 
Through this book, I, I 

228
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:28,080
definitely feel that there's 
aspects of it that are calling 

229
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:31,640
for you to take things less 
seriously and be more settled in

230
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,800
a very strict way. 
And if, if you've read it, it's 

231
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:37,280
like, this is the way, this is 
absolutely the thing that's your

232
00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:39,720
like. 
It is very assertive and it's 

233
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:44,200
taking things less seriously, 
which is a kind of a interesting

234
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:49,160
contradiction in itself. 
You brought up you're moving 

235
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:51,920
away from dogma and trying to 
find more into Buddhism. 

236
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:55,280
And I had an interesting 
conversation before I came here 

237
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:58,560
with my wife. 
There was a a portion of the 

238
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:03,160
book that was talking about if 
you believe that you, I don't 

239
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:07,119
know if this is is dogma, but if
you believe that you come from 

240
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:15,119
of God and you are not of God, 
that when you are of God and you

241
00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:21,119
give that, that is a kind of 
creation within that dynamic 

242
00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:25,480
that just you giving to somebody
else is actually giving to 

243
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,440
yourself. 
And that's why it feels good 

244
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:31,680
because we're all this, you 
know, and this non dualistic us 

245
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:37,120
is like a thing. 
But when you are from God and 

246
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:40,440
you create something, then 
you're creating something that's

247
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:45,160
independent of God. 
And then that's why you have an 

248
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:49,880
attachment to it because it is 
not a like a stable whole thing 

249
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,000
in your life. 
It is something you created 

250
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:56,200
outside of you because it's 
outside of God and you're 

251
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,160
outside of God because God 
created you and it That's 

252
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:03,760
convoluted, but the way that my 
brain thinks to my I can re 

253
00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:07,000
explain it, but did you 
understand any of it? 

254
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:10,920
Yeah. 
I feel like I can almost draw a 

255
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,360
picture of it better than I can 
explain it, but yeah. 

256
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,880
That's why I believe that there 
is no guy that don't make guys, 

257
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:21,720
you know, but guys just a word 
trying to describe the 

258
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,840
indescribable. 
I just not. 

259
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,400
Real estate means we're all one 
essentially. 

260
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,640
So. 
I think I don't think I'm alone 

261
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:31,840
in this when I first started. 
Meditating, I thought the. 

262
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:35,440
Goal is to empty Iran and of 
course that's impossible. 

263
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:40,560
And what I've kind of come to 
realize is when I meditate, the 

264
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:44,680
point isn't to empty my mind, 
it's just to notice and. 

265
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,160
It was AI. 
Don't remember who was but I was

266
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:53,720
listening to sort of a master 
meditator and one of the one of 

267
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:54,480
the. 
Tricks that he uses. 

268
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,800
Is every time you start to 
meditate and mine just your 

269
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,400
monkey mind just goes off a 
million different directions 

270
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,240
every time you notice? 
That you just say. 

271
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:07,800
To yourself, welcome back and it
brings you right. 

272
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,240
Right back. 
To the present parliament. 

273
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:14,240
So what I try to do when I when 
I meditate is I do try to quiet 

274
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:18,080
my mind as much as possible, but
but I do start going off in in 

275
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:20,920
different directions. 
I'll just sort of jet neighbor 

276
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,480
and I salt back and say welcome 
back. 

277
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,240
I I always kind of visualize. 
By thoughts that. 

278
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:31,600
That come in I don't Sicily want
I sort of just picture sitting 

279
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:36,480
by the Bank of a river and a 
raft flowing by and I just 

280
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:39,280
mentally take that thought. 
Put it on a raft. 

281
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:43,680
And then watch it. 
Watch it full of a mine so. 

282
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:47,680
I just I think for me the point 
is just to be part of the 

283
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,880
president is just noticing. 
Thanks and the now. 

284
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,600
Judge went away. 
You know, we're not judging it 

285
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,520
because we all have thoughts 
that we don't want. 

286
00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,760
You know, it's inconvenient or 
it's just about we don't want, 

287
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:02,400
but we don't. 
I try not to judge it too much 

288
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,480
and say bad John, don't break 
that. 

289
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,680
You know, it's just it's here. 
Isn't that interesting? 

290
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,120
And. 
Then move. 

291
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:11,880
On so it's it's sort of helps me
with the non attachment out 

292
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:14,520
there, the non judging and the 
non attachment. 

293
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,360
Because when we judge things. 
So I have to read something 

294
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:18,760
somebody said. 
One time it's like. 

295
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,720
My life is so exhausting from 
COM, from just the constant 

296
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,400
judging of everything. 
And it does feel that way 

297
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:26,480
sometimes. 
Is when you're. 

298
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:27,880
When you're in that judgement 
mode, is. 

299
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,880
It's just it's. 
Exhausting, kind of, to judge. 

300
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,880
Everything in your life. 
And it becomes, it becomes 

301
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:36,600
lighter when you just sort of 
opt out or just start noticing 

302
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:38,160
instead of judge. 
It's him. 

303
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,240
We're. 
Very split ourselves into. 

304
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,040
The Watcher. 
And the watcher, we'll get out 

305
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:47,520
like, who's doing the right 
watcher, Yeah. 

306
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,240
Is that the it's not what I 
think of you? 

307
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,680
Is that what you think of me? 
It's what I think you think of 

308
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:56,160
me. 
Mental chaos. 

309
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:03,720
I'm Mary, when you were talking 
about your initial meditations 

310
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:07,600
and how you felt joy, I inspire 
because my initial meditation 

311
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:11,160
were so irritated that was 
taking so long. 

312
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:16,520
It's just Dean impatient and 
when I finally like started to 

313
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,840
let go of that and just be like 
fine, I guess we'll sit forever.

314
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:28,680
That's when I could actually 
meditate and and then it was 

315
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,280
better. 
Yeah yeah, I don't I don't think

316
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:34,760
I had that enjoy the first time.
Maybe like, well, and that's, 

317
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:38,200
I've just noticed when people 
come in so often times they, 

318
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,560
they report that they think 
they're doing it wrong or it's 

319
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,680
like, I'd, I didn't do it right.
And they're like, well, you're 

320
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:50,040
still sitting there. 
So you did which which I just 

321
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:52,480
kind of wanted to open up the, 
the conversation to like, well, 

322
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:57,440
how, how did everybody get past 
those first three, you know, few

323
00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:00,720
meditations where they just like
thought you were doing it wrong 

324
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:06,320
or and, and it is that you think
you're supposed to quiet your 

325
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:13,480
mind and, and yeah, yeah, don't 
think of the yellow Jeep. 

326
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:18,880
There's an interesting thing I 
remember from where you tossed 

327
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:22,640
my beginner's mind, he said. 
When you're when you're new with

328
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:24,160
something, all things are 
possible. 

329
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:26,280
But when you're an expert or a 
few. 

330
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:29,960
Things impossible and that 
that's always that, as was the. 

331
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:34,080
Something that I, I meant to 
speak on that I, I couldn't read

332
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:39,240
my handwriting, but it's also 
just a really wonderful thought 

333
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,560
is that there's just no 
preparations for anything. 

334
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,440
You're not going to go back to 
my tools. 

335
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:48,360
Like I'm not sharpening my tools
and I'm not preparing my tools 

336
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:52,680
to work on the lathe. 
I'm sharpening my tools. 

337
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:57,720
I'm just sharpening my tools. 
I'm not brushing my teeth to go 

338
00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:02,720
out into the world to have 
shiny, good, fresh, filling 

339
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:06,880
teeth out in the world. 
I'm just brushing my teeth and 

340
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:16,200
to really, I think that can also
you're not sitting to be calm 

341
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:20,320
and to have an easier life. 
When you get up off the cushion,

342
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:25,360
you're just sitting. 
You're preparing to sit and also

343
00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:29,080
you when you're getting down and
you know, weight shifting in 

344
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:32,120
your body and you're getting 
comfortable, you're not 

345
00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:37,520
preparing to sit when you are 
doing that, you're already, you 

346
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,960
know, you're already meditating 
when you're finding yourself in 

347
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:43,920
the position when I'm sitting. 
Sharpening your tools do you? 

348
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,400
Do you treat that as a 
meditative? 

349
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:51,120
Experience like should if I'm 
doing it right. 

350
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:56,760
Sometimes I well, it's difficult
too because you're literally 

351
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,960
cutting miles off. 
Like if I'm carving a bowl, I'm 

352
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:04,040
literally carving miles of 
strips of of wood off of the 

353
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,600
chunk of wood that I'm doing. 
And so that you may have to 

354
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:11,160
sharpen your tool 3 or 4 times 
during a large project. 

355
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:19,760
And and, and when I am doing 
well in Evans zone, I am I turn 

356
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:24,320
the lathe off, I stop, I turn on
the thing, I load up thing a 

357
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,400
key, I measure and then I 
meditatively sharpen the tools. 

358
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:32,160
But I the reason I do a blade, 
it also is a meditation. 

359
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:39,720
So it's it's hard to but it can 
be optic it it's not sharp 

360
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,520
enough. 
I got to go sharpen the damn 

361
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:48,000
tool and then then then I've 
lost the a little bit. 

362
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,400
You might catch the dart. 
You know, that's when you make 

363
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:55,800
your mistakes. 
It was when you're like, but you

364
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,720
know, when I'm good and in the 
zone and sharpening is an 

365
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:02,280
extension of the meditation that
it that's just an extension of 

366
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:05,160
the meditation. 
But if it's not, that's usually 

367
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,480
just a good time to step away 
from the whole darn thing and 

368
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:15,360
and reset. 
And this isn't really related to

369
00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:17,920
anything, but just the moments 
that I realized like, oh, I need

370
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:21,560
to make a small project right 
now because I don't have I'll 

371
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,280
make a handle for something 
that's just going to live down 

372
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,080
here and doesn't need to be 
terribly beautiful. 

373
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:30,920
It just needs to be functional. 
And then I have times where 

374
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,240
like, oh, I'm going to make 
something. 

375
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:36,840
I've got time, I've got space. 
The dog doesn't have to go out 

376
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:41,040
for another two hours. 
Kind of moments I remember. 

377
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:48,480
One thing that was like really 
story is frustrating is 

378
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:53,000
sometimes I feel like or felt 
like, I remember there were 

379
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,760
times where I felt like, oh, I'm
doing this really, really well. 

380
00:25:55,760 --> 00:26:02,160
Like I'm in the zone type thing 
when I'm meditating and then I 

381
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:06,840
would like I'd be aware of 
things in general, but like 

382
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:11,480
those these tiny little micro 
thoughts that come up and I'm 

383
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:13,320
like, what is this like a whole 
nother labor? 

384
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:16,480
Like I thought I was, I thought 
I was aware, I thought it was 

385
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:20,480
doing good. 
I don't know. 

386
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,920
And that's up. 
That continues to be frustrating

387
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,920
because I consider myself be 
pretty self aware. 

388
00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:34,440
But then there's all these like 
I consider the microphones, but 

389
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:40,640
they're really like hard for me 
to wreck against and be aware 

390
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,640
of, especially in the home. 
And they're usually the ones 

391
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:48,000
that I need to be aware of or it
would be ideal if I was aware 

392
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,400
of. 
There's a book called Why 

393
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:52,120
Buddhism is True that I read a 
few years ago. 

394
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,040
That's really good book. 
I think you would enjoy it. 

395
00:26:56,080 --> 00:27:00,040
And it it talks about a lot of 
the bio neurology that's going 

396
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:07,920
on and the current theory on the
part of your brain that receives

397
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:13,120
the thoughts. 
That would be I need to pee, I 

398
00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:16,680
need to not go to that unsafe 
looking area. 

399
00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:22,240
I'm hungry, thirsty, I'm sad. 
And there's it's like module 

400
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:26,160
theory and there's just a module
that receives it's the resting 

401
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:28,800
node nodule and it receives all 
that information. 

402
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:35,320
And when we sit and meditate, we
do our best to just quiet down 

403
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:41,000
all of those things. 
And what you're describing to me

404
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:44,640
just sounds like when you quiet 
down everything, they're still, 

405
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:48,880
these nodules are saying like, 
all right, I think you'll 

406
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:53,120
actually be able to hear me now.
And so it's, it's good. 

407
00:27:53,120 --> 00:27:55,760
It's a process you're doing, 
you're quieting down all the, 

408
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:59,000
the, the noise and, and like, I 
don't think we're actually 

409
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:03,800
supposed to quiet our minds. 
But when we allow that resting 

410
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:10,280
not no nodule to quiet to to 
hear things that aren't 

411
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:14,320
necessarily being heard, then 
that's then then we can actually

412
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:19,120
let that that little micro 
thought that's worked its way in

413
00:28:19,120 --> 00:28:25,280
there to to to express itself a 
bit and to to maybe maybe listen

414
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:26,680
to it. 
I've had moments. 

415
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:31,480
The big one is the middle way, 
which I I strongly believe it. 

416
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:37,280
I had a conflict with an 
ex-girlfriend that I just felt 

417
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:43,440
either like a victim or an 
asshole with in my head and I 

418
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:48,400
could never figure it out. 
Depending on the context of how 

419
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:50,800
I saw a situation, or it could 
be the same situation. 

420
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:54,440
I was either a terrible person 
who did a terrible thing, or she

421
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:57,480
was this terrible person that 
took advantage of me. 

422
00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:01,000
And both of those things were 
happening at the same time 

423
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,160
because we were both wounded and
terrible and hurt. 

424
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:06,240
And, and it was one of those 
that was one of those 

425
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:08,800
meditations where everything got
really quiet and then this 

426
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:10,440
little voices kept coming in 
there. 

427
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:17,400
And then I just sat with that 
and let that be and like, oh, it

428
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:18,720
wasn't my fault. 
It wasn't her fault. 

429
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:22,680
It was our fault. 
And we, we moved on to it 

430
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:26,880
because we recognized the 
unhealthiness of it and, and it 

431
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:29,600
was very liberating to me. 
You know to to. 

432
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:33,960
Just have this little micro 
thought that was persistent to 

433
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,000
believe. 
Does that sound like what that 

434
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,320
could be or? 
Yeah, yeah. 

435
00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:43,840
It really to me feels like 
layers of like, OK, here are the

436
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:47,560
things that are like relatively 
easy to be aware of and then 

437
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:49,800
like I no idea at this layer, 
but like there's this whole 

438
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:55,080
layer down here of these just 
tiny little invasive little 

439
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:59,960
thoughts usually for me about 
anxiety, like anxious. 

440
00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:01,040
Thoughts. 
This. 

441
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:04,520
You're working eyes and now. 
And I think part of the key 

442
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:08,400
might be not to watch on tour. 
Yeah, they pop in, then go. 

443
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,040
They pop in quick and they're 
sneaky. 

444
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:14,280
I don't but which one they 
start. 

445
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,920
Carroting to a dialogue. 
That's why I'm trying to get 

446
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:17,840
aware of. 
Yeah. 

447
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:21,120
No, yeah. 
And, and there's, there's a 

448
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:25,440
difference between being aware 
of them and letting them trickle

449
00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:29,960
in and take over and then but 
trying to kick them out as soon 

450
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:34,200
as they come in that that's when
they take over because you don't

451
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:36,760
even, you have to be aware and 
recognize them. 

452
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:42,200
And, and yes, that's where I 
live. 

453
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:46,600
Sometimes it feels like when I 
meditate, it's like number like 

454
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:48,280
the old radio dials and you 
would just. 

455
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,160
Go up and down the. 
Dial and do $200 different 

456
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:52,440
frequencies because. 
Not to. 

457
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:54,200
It feels like that. 
It's like you're. 

458
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:56,560
We just twing all these 
different. 

459
00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:58,880
Frequencies and. 
Rain and rain. 

460
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:02,320
Prince and then, you know, but 
well, yeah, maybe occasionally 

461
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:04,040
somebody could. 
But the hell. 

462
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,880
A lot of times. 
Where I was it? 

463
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:08,760
Was like thinking it was 
maintaining but I would just. 

464
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:11,280
Get her from the computer, get 
her from the couch or whatever. 

465
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:14,320
Just. 
Walk outside and just sit. 

466
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:16,080
I would always sit temporally 
have. 

467
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:18,760
Like great ideas were how but 
could I was sort of just. 

468
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:22,000
Whiting a little bit. 
And allowing something to come 

469
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,480
in. 
That didn't have there. 

470
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:24,840
Wasn't a space to pound in 
before. 

471
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:29,000
Seemed like there was something 
about that in the book and the 

472
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:35,440
kind of the doing less and and 
being fully engaged in what you 

473
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:40,040
were doing allowed you to 
complete tasks and move on to 

474
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:44,520
from them or that is just don't 
leave as much Taft or residue 

475
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:49,200
calling that calling it residue 
to me really kind of resonated 

476
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,520
with when you're when you're 
working on something and you. 

477
00:31:54,440 --> 00:32:00,360
It's it's just. 
Chaff in your mind that that if 

478
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:03,080
it's not resolved, that it's 
just a head full of chaff. 

479
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:05,400
You can't think straight. 
That's a trading. 

480
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:09,280
On sound, losing mess up in that
sound seems to help. 

481
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:11,520
It helps. 
Me, the sun is all the way 

482
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:14,400
easier. 
I used to hate the traffic. 

483
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:17,400
I've been sitting here for 12 
years and I, I used to think the

484
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,920
traffic was like, I can't sit 
and rather take a stupid 

485
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,120
traffic. 
And now I hear an ambulance go 

486
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:26,480
by and I'm just like, oh, thank 
you round date. 

487
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:29,280
And it brings me back to the 
moment and I can't even imagine 

488
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:34,000
it not doing that. 
And now it's it's a, it's a tool

489
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,360
that I use and I just get 
kidding with family that I used 

490
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:40,800
to just shake my fist at it 
mentally. 

491
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:44,720
And you asked how do, how do we 
get over like those initial 

492
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:49,200
misconceptions or whatever? 
I think for me first of all, I'm

493
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:53,000
still working on, but for me 
guided meditation, like a good 

494
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:57,280
guided meditation course really 
except like a good foundation 

495
00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:02,160
for me I and then a lot of I 
think is experiential like like 

496
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:05,280
similar to your car thing. 
Like I remember there's one time

497
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:09,360
I doing 1 meditations and my 
girlfriend at the time called me

498
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:12,880
and it was like a really long 
meditation like longer than I 

499
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:15,600
ever done before. 
And I remember immediately 

500
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:19,960
getting pissed and being like 
how dare she interrupt me? 

501
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:22,120
Like what is she doing on my 
way? 

502
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:25,800
Wait a minute now like. 
That's kind of the full point of

503
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:30,120
this thing. 
It's OK, that's not the point. 

504
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:32,160
Like to do. 
How many? 

505
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,240
Yeah. 
So I think it's like 

506
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:36,480
experiential too, yeah. 
I would have blamed. 

507
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:40,640
The person that yeah, yeah, put 
on the brakes, you know, it's 

508
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,040
not that person. 
That's what's going on inside a 

509
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:45,320
desk, right? 
'Cause someone, I see it like 

510
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:50,840
everything, can become a new 
like to ask what what make a new

511
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:53,520
thing to like. 
Practice this thing random. 

512
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:57,040
True. 
I had a a truly unsuccessful 

513
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,360
event. 
I was on a backpacking trip with

514
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:01,920
a friend and the lady that he 
was a Buddhist and we just sat 

515
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:05,800
and meditated and I had this fly
kind of buzzing me to land on my

516
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:13,320
face and I just got him and I'm 
like, oh, I think I did that 

517
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:19,000
wrong. 
But but after like I Oh yeah, 

518
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:24,280
well, the and then like quick 
was like, no, it's better now. 

519
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:29,560
Well, we're running towards the 
end. 

520
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:31,880
We like to close our practice 
way. 

521
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:36,719
May the fruits of our practice 
extend to all living beings. 

522
00:34:37,199 --> 00:34:37,800
Spa.