1 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:17,560 My name is Aaron and I've been practicing for a little over 12 2 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:20,560 years. I'm needing more. 3 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:28,000 I'm dependent on this meditation and in that I'm searching for. 4 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,800 I thought, well, since I'm the one doing it, I should probably 5 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:35,120 lead it and do it. And I had this in the back of my 6 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:39,320 mind to do this book. Beginner mind, Zen mind. 7 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:43,360 And I picked it up a long time ago thinking like, oh, that 8 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:45,760 sounds like a beginner book and it is not. 9 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:51,600 And I know we have some beginners here and this may or 10 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:57,440 may not be wonderful for that. But I wanted to talk about the 11 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:00,640 beginner mind because it said I've been practicing for 12 12 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:06,400 years. And when I first came, it seemed 13 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:11,280 like there was this some of the things that I found in the book 14 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:16,480 that were very present that are less present now in my practice 15 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:22,840 that are wonderful than mid Mr. before we sat, I wanted to 16 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:31,680 reemphasize our posture in the the opening of of the section. 17 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:42,760 His his name is Suzuki and he he addressed posture as a big piece 18 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:47,240 of what we're doing when we sit with us in the crossing of the 19 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:57,240 legs or the holding of the mudra can represent a dualistic and 20 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:01,600 conflicts that have resonated throughout the rest of the 21 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:05,640 section as we hold our hands together and one, we can 22 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:10,919 identify this as the mudra as one item or a left hand and a 23 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:15,560 right hand. And so is this a oral thing or 24 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:23,400 is this a one thing and your mind and your body, are they one 25 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,240 thing? Are there two things? 26 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:30,320 If you say it is one thing that you are wrong, you say it is two 27 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:36,360 things that you are wrong is more complicated than than that 28 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:43,640 symbol do out. But in the emphasis on the 29 00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:48,440 posture holding the chin in holding yourself in a stable, 30 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:53,720 balanced, controlled cause the just the energy mentally and 31 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:58,920 physically that it takes to maintain that can hold you in a 32 00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:07,520 state that he identified as the the Zen state and that just 33 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:14,160 sitting with intention holding that posture is as it and it 34 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,560 takes happening more to be desired than it's a bats. 35 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,920 I have Terrell the last years of my life meditated. 36 00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:27,320 I found relationships to how meditation has proved my 37 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:30,240 relationships with people, how it's improved my work 38 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:33,880 performance, how it's improved my view in life and my overdose 39 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:39,080 happiness. And then in that process it 40 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:47,640 mapped Zazen and city as as a responsibility relationship to 41 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,720 those things. And so I've lost just the nature 42 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:57,760 of sitting today as I sat and just focus on the cost beer just 43 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:04,920 with absolute effort to this hold the Foster and then 44 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,520 breathing as well. Something that they talk about. 45 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:15,600 This is a little out there, but the options in the world outside 46 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:21,399 of you is infinite and what you can do when you're is also 47 00:04:21,399 --> 00:04:25,560 infinite does your breathe. You draw the air out from an 48 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:29,560 infinite source and into an infinite source and that we are 49 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:33,480 only the door or the passageway. So often times when I do 50 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:41,000 breathing focuses, I think and I worry about the breath and I 51 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:45,800 control the breath. But in the bazaar and state, 52 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:51,600 we're supposed to just observe it and not foil it or change it. 53 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:57,120 And I have these in stress revealing things that we were 8 54 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,760 seconds in, eight seconds hold, 8 seconds out, eight seconds 55 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,720 home. We do these different things and 56 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,360 we think of those as administrative, but they are, 57 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:09,640 but they are not this basic Sauzen state. 58 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:18,520 That is just the focus of this chapter was to just kind of 59 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:22,320 simplify it, reduce it and bring it back to that setting. 60 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:34,480 Just being still and aware of the oneness or the popularity or 61 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:37,360 everything, just being being still. 62 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:45,720 Towards the end of the section, he talked about these four 63 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:49,600 horses and the Buddha would say there were four horses. 64 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:53,720 There's very good horses, big horses, bad horses and terrible 65 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:57,480 horses. A good horse when the lip comes 66 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:01,160 it it runs when it first nose look is coming. 67 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:09,840 The pretty good horse will run when it can feel the whip about 68 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:15,280 to reach it, and then a bad voice means the whip to actually 69 00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:21,760 hit its skin and a a fair die force doesn't move until it 70 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:26,960 feels it in the marrow. And I know I think pervasions a 71 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,920 lot of this. I'm speaking to my personal 72 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:36,520 experience, but in this analogy Buddha spoke at the very bad 73 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:40,280 forces. Not the worst thing to be in 74 00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:43,240 Zazen and that. So. 75 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:48,440 Often time when we are good at something, we we can't get 76 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:50,560 better at it because we're already good about it and we 77 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:53,640 don't have the skill set to grow word with that. 78 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:59,000 But if we are terrible at that, then we have to work on it. 79 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:03,040 We have to sit, but that we have to reshape our thinking about 80 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,080 it. We have to use it, use almost 81 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:11,000 exercises to get there. And he used an example of people 82 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:17,760 who were very good at calligraphy with the very super 83 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,760 bright, wonderful people that tried polygraphy would get to a 84 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:23,040 certain skill level and just stop. 85 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:28,240 And people that you would not they would be successful with. 86 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,920 That's when we'll be able to try. 87 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:35,400 I listen to this on an audio book or in video audio 88 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:38,040 performance because that's how I process information. 89 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:46,120 And so, so much of things that I feel when I navigate to the 90 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:49,800 world, some things are just simple and easy for me and I see 91 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:54,240 other people struggle with them with perplexion and some things 92 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,560 I see other people just do with these. 93 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:02,760 I think that that's such a halt and it it is something that is 94 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:07,480 very much why Capture says. But in this reading, I was able 95 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:16,680 to see that, go back and look at things that are easy for you and 96 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:19,360 understand that you still might need to focus here and do the 97 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:23,480 better on that. In that, also reflecting on the 98 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:30,080 text, the Dharma that we're reading, if you did look at it, 99 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,559 you could consume it. It was very repetitive. 100 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:40,480 And in that it was also stating within tech this as we read, as 101 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:44,520 we take in our Dharma to make sure that we're looking at it 102 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:48,600 without all the filters that I've been talking about of our 103 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:54,200 experience. Guess it's like getting to it, 104 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:58,800 but the beginner is in mind. In mind the idea of the 105 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:04,360 beginner's mind. This just see things with the 106 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:08,080 emptiness of mind where things are new like child and see then 107 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:15,840 and the value that you can add to your interaction with your 108 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:23,360 experience that that breeze. That is a lot of word salus 109 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:25,640 because I'm watching video word salad. 110 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:27,720 I'm going to open it up to the group. 111 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,440 Does anybody read or watch the clip? 112 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:38,240 So if anybody had any other comments on the reading or any 113 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,560 questions about it, I'll have no before. 114 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:49,800 Reading is good. I don't belt this precania what 115 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:53,040 you said, but sometimes employees lost someone without 116 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:57,880 experience so they can teach in the right way doing these 117 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:03,640 because like how can you feel a full cut, you know, and I think 118 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:07,360 that the. Older we get. 119 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:15,360 Sometimes when you accumulate junk, we think they know 120 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:23,800 everything almost and they think that like pure Landryism, they 121 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:33,680 teach pure Mine is the original line that's that's always there. 122 00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:39,640 But we have our ego. We have all of our all the 123 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,800 things that we think we know is true, you know, even though 124 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:47,960 everything's a permanent and we can't fill our cup. 125 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,960 In the head. It's it's already filled with 126 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:54,040 all the stuff we think it should be filled. 127 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,720 Oh, you wonder why sometimes things in the where they are. 128 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:05,720 That's all I get. And Danielle, thank you. 129 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,760 Aaron for that talk. It's been a long time since I've 130 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:09,840 read. Zen mind. 131 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:13,640 Beginner mind and I appreciate that you walked through the the 132 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:17,640 first part of it helped. Breakdown a lot of. 133 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:21,560 Concepts and. There was a lot and what you say 134 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:24,200 and I appreciate that it's going to take me a little while to 135 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:27,920 kind of digest it I think, but couple of the. 136 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:31,760 Things that you brought up. Really hit me and probably 137 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:33,840 because whatever is going on for me right now, it was really 138 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:38,560 useful and I think the two that were most that are most present. 139 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:40,680 For me right now are the idea of. 140 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:44,960 As I was in being about observation and not like 141 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,760 obligation and. The and the. 142 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:51,760 Beginner's mind. The the idea of. 143 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:55,920 Zazan being about observation was really, really important for 144 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,960 me and is part of my practice because. 145 00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:01,160 I'm a I'm a. Spoily person, I'm like a doer. 146 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:04,360 I'm like I have to always do something no matter what it is. 147 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:08,400 It's I don't, I can't sit still for very long and that is also 148 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,160 at work, like always having to do something at work and even 149 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:14,560 with relationships like it's for most of my life it was. 150 00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:18,520 Very well, I. Didn't know how to just be. 151 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:23,240 I actually thought that like just being was being lazy and 152 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:27,920 procrastinating and lots of negative connotations with being 153 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:31,520 still. So coming here and learning 154 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:33,720 that. Like the idea of. 155 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,560 Being still is not being lazy. It's it's. 156 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:40,640 It's being observant about what's happening, but without 157 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,320 judgement because in those moments in my life when I would 158 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:47,080 be still, there was so much judgement of like, am I being 159 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,680 still for too long? Is this is this enough of a rest 160 00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:53,160 or am I am I is, am I exceeding some threshold? 161 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,840 So much judgement. So it's just was really useful. 162 00:12:56,840 --> 00:13:02,800 Like my only task while I'm sitting in Zazen is to just sit. 163 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,960 And then allow. Whatever is coming up and not, 164 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,360 and it doesn't have to mean anything because that was, 165 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,680 that's the other thing. Like if I have a thought, it 166 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:14,080 must be brilliant and I really have to analyze it because I had 167 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:17,920 a thought, you know, but it doesn't have to be it's, I can 168 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:21,400 just observe like, oh, a thought came up or Oh, I'm seeing this 169 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:25,040 in my body. And it, it's been a really 170 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:29,320 useful tool to, to know that that is OK because I honestly 171 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:33,960 just didn't know that that was OK to just sit and observe 172 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:35,160 things. I I thought. 173 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,640 The only. Reason to observe something was 174 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:42,360 to act on it. And sometimes it's, you just 175 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:46,800 observe it and, and that's really, really useful to me. 176 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:50,040 And I think that for me, that also relates to the idea of 177 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:55,640 beginner's mind because again, you know, like I, I always want 178 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,640 to know what the answer is and I want to know what the right 179 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,200 thing is. And I want to know what I'm 180 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:04,120 supposed to do and that. Requires a whole lot of. 181 00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:08,600 Assumed knowledge and judgments. And if you approach something 182 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,800 with a beginner's mind, well, you don't know. 183 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:15,400 You have to just observe kind of what's coming up and experience 184 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,640 it as it is when you when you do something for the very first 185 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,440 time. It's like what is. 186 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,200 What is this thing? What's happening you you don't 187 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,120 have all the experience of like it should be this way or you 188 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:27,960 should do it? That way so. 189 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:31,400 It was a lot that that you said that I really appreciate, but 190 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:34,960 those two things really just they they've been a really 191 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:38,240 important part of my practice and thank you for the reminder. 192 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:46,440 I've I've kind of felt a sterile this in my practice per bit and 193 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:50,160 I felt that that I read the introduction of it. 194 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:55,880 So I wonder if this is on audible and you know when I on 195 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:59,080 the 1st 5 minutes and we actually for those who was here 196 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:02,840 instead of doing the top, I was just like this is perfect. 197 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:06,640 This is exactly the fact this is 5 minute talk is what I wanted 198 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:10,200 to talk about and then I was working for more on the Internet 199 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:16,640 where I found out. Oh, the whole thing's so but it 200 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:21,880 that first 5 minutes I just was in my house with the industry. 201 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:28,440 Yes, you get their mind and I've gone through maybe 5 or 6 years 202 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:32,040 here. Emptiness would be we sudden it 203 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:36,560 and I felt like at the time, I 100%, absolutely understand 204 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:41,960 emptiness. And that lasted about 5 minutes 205 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,920 and then I didn't understand it at all. 206 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:50,080 But in the book, just in the opening, a way to describe it, 207 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:54,320 it's that tease of like, oh, it's just as simple as 208 00:15:55,160 --> 00:16:01,200 beginner's boy. That's emptiness amazingly 209 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:04,400 complex and hard to understand what it's full swing, but also 210 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:11,520 just the simplest come to it was nothing and see it without 211 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:14,440 judgement. It's incredibly hard, but 212 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,840 conceptually it is very. Powerful. 213 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:25,400 And I don't think that the culture in America really, and I 214 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,160 encourage this, is sitting and being. 215 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:31,480 You know what I mean? The other places don't close on 216 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:35,480 Sundays and on afternoon, you know, rests, you know, siestas 217 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:37,480 and stuff. But we have to keep you except 218 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:39,840 the whole time or else you're a loser. 219 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:48,120 Well, I know I'm just kidding, but you know, it's just like 220 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:52,400 productivity. It seems to be a major focus. 221 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:58,160 We don't get enough rests. One piece. 222 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:01,640 My name is Kathy and I go to the gym. 223 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:05,920 And have a trainer. And I've been athletic all my 224 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:12,280 life and there's comfort in doing the things. 225 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,720 That I'm good at. I'm familiar because I'm. 226 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:19,160 Old and I. My cop is both but the trainer. 227 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:23,040 Says no. This is new to. 228 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:26,160 These. Hand weights, so the. 229 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:31,080 Phrase beginner's mind. Is like the I love that phrase. 230 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:36,320 I have read the book is. There is a possibility that you 231 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:40,040 can learn something new, that there's something else out 232 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:44,720 there. And so the trainer said, 233 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:52,600 whatever it is you're avoiding or that Dewey, that's what you 234 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,000 need to work on. I didn't like that advice 235 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,800 because really good at certain things and then those other ones 236 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,160 I think. Oh, those are for. 237 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:05,520 Men, it's you know, not for the graceful womanly body and says 238 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:11,200 no, you got muscles back there lady, use so that phrase. 239 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:15,000 If we could say. That to ourselves every day, the 240 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,440 beginner's mind, every day is a new opportunity. 241 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:21,960 Every day you just let it unfold and say to yourself. 242 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:27,880 Maybe, maybe I could do that. Maybe I could do? 243 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,760 Lap pulled outs. I don't know and the only way 244 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,120 to. Find out it was to say. 245 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,720 Maybe some? I'm Megan. 246 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:43,080 I'm new here tonight. I read that book A. 247 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:49,400 Couple of times and I just reread it last year and and I 248 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:55,520 came to like learning about this house and through Natalie go 249 00:18:55,520 --> 00:19:01,480 Burke and wrote. Yeah, but isn't. 250 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:06,360 It run down the. Balls, it's a writing craft book 251 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:10,840 and she's study with a Zen. Master. 252 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:16,400 She still does, but. She was fought against it all 253 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:20,200 the time and her Zen master was bomber. 254 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,880 Like look, your practice is probably writing. 255 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:27,840 Like don't worry about zazen, it makes you angry. 256 00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:34,560 And she keeps. Doing all of that and so like 257 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:38,200 from her I I learned or I got the idea. 258 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,920 That like zazen? Kind of supports the rest of 259 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:46,680 your life like the rest of your practice and in a forms that and 260 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:50,560 it's kind of like Stephen King says, you know, don't cut her 261 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,920 that the writing supports your life. 262 00:19:56,320 --> 00:20:03,800 So that introduction goes. To your my memory of the book is 263 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,960 like kind of sketchy. But. 264 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:10,080 I remember him talking. About those four horses. 265 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,720 Like the excellent horse and then very good horse and. 266 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,400 Bring a bad horse, terrible horse, or whatever. 267 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:21,080 Oh, and then I guess so with a beginner's mind. 268 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,800 There's so much freedom. OK, so. 269 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,400 Whoever has readers familiar with that part? 270 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:31,200 As you were talking about that, I'm thinking there's an. 271 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:35,600 Implication of violence. There and like force and being 272 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:36,720 compelled. To do. 273 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,760 This thing which is. Totally. 274 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:41,600 Optional like know what's making us come here? 275 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:45,080 I do this word and which is also like very elemental and basic, 276 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:51,840 you know, deceptively simple. It's not and the same as the 277 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,840 writing. Nobody was making us do it, but 278 00:20:54,840 --> 00:21:00,560 we feel compelled to do it. So like, what do you? 279 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,400 Like I would love. To know thoughts on. 280 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,200 That. Kind of threat of. 281 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:08,920 Violence and I feeling and being compelled to. 282 00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:11,840 Do this practice. That's totally. 283 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:16,400 Optional. Actually can I because I was 284 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,120 also. Really uncomfortable with the 285 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,200 kind of I the. Violence in the horses and I was 286 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,720 like why, why are we whipping horses again? 287 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:26,280 And it was, it made me like really uncomfortable. 288 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,320 And I and I thank you for bringing this up and especially 289 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:33,400 putting it into this context of like the idea of zazen and and 290 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,600 requiring like the implication that it requires this kind of 291 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,640 like violence what I would. Say is. 292 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:42,040 Actually, what it requires is skillful, skillful effort. 293 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:43,920 That's part of the Eightfold Path. 294 00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:48,520 And the idea is not that we have to punish ourselves or we have 295 00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:51,520 to make it difficult for ourselves, but we have to apply 296 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:55,440 an appropriate amount of effort to the tasks that we do. 297 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:59,160 And some of the tasks that are more difficult for us but are 298 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,600 also really helpful for us require more effort. 299 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,920 I wouldn't say more violence, right? 300 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,880 I don't think that that's helpful because I think that 301 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:10,440 that can go wrong in a lot of ways, but sometimes they require 302 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:13,080 more effort. And I think figuring out what 303 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,960 skillful effort is for us is important. 304 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,360 And I think this is one of the things like, like Kathy, you 305 00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:20,880 were talking about your trainer saying like, oh, you're trying 306 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:22,680 to avoid that. That's what you should focus on. 307 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:24,440 We talked about that a lot, right? 308 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:28,400 The same sort of thing is something is, is healthy for 309 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:32,480 you, skillful for you, or even was recommended to you and you 310 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:35,800 find yourself pushing away. It probably requires a little 311 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:39,400 bit more effort for you to kind of get back into that thing. 312 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:43,960 What I would say is be careful with how you apply the effort. 313 00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,880 So I'm just going to recommend that you put down the whip. 314 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,760 Let's, let's not like whipping the horses. 315 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,920 Let's not do that, but let's figure out what appropriate 316 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:57,920 effort is and how can you apply effort in the direction of 317 00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:01,960 something that is skillful for you, but that will that will 318 00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:03,680 allow. You to make it. 319 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,280 Less effortful. Do do you know what I mean? 320 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:08,800 Like sometimes we have this idea. 321 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:10,960 Of like the right. Thing the quote UN quote right 322 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,200 thing. You have to do it this way. 323 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,040 I call this like, you know, Buddha your way. 324 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,320 Through like, oh, I'm. Supposed to sit this way and I'm 325 00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:21,040 just going to sit here even though my legs are falling 326 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,560 asleep and I'm not going to be able to walk but this is what 327 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:26,640 I'm supposed to do so I'm just. Going to do it and. 328 00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:29,400 I don't think that that is skillful effort. 329 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:33,920 I, I do think that you can say like, OK, being uncomfortable in 330 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,520 this situation is part of my practice. 331 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:39,400 Like, like when you're talking about going to the gym and and 332 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,640 doing some exercises, it's difficult. 333 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:45,240 It can cause discomfort and you have to apply a certain amount 334 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:48,160 of effort to be like, I can do this, but we can do that. 335 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,440 We can apply effort in a compassionate way. 336 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,640 We can say, I mean, I'm trying to learn this myself. 337 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:56,960 I can say to myself, you've done difficult things before. 338 00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:59,680 You can do this. Of course you're feeling 339 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:03,800 resistant to this because it is a difficult thing for you, but 340 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:08,640 it's you have the capacity to do it that is like, and for me 341 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:12,720 anyway, an appropriate amount of effort to apply to a situation 342 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,880 that I know I need to do, but that is difficult for me, right? 343 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:19,360 So I think that that's probably a more helpful frame than 344 00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:22,240 thinking about how much you have to beat your force with your 345 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:24,320 whip, thinking about like what is an? 346 00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,000 Appropriate. Amount of effort and what can 347 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,800 allow you to open the door to the thing that you need to do? 348 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:32,920 Like what? What will help you do that 349 00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,520 instead of punish you into doing that? 350 00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:39,080 I think that's that makes a lot of sense. 351 00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:43,040 To me and I think to. Thinking about why you. 352 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,680 Have. To or compel to or. 353 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:49,160 Want to do it is really important to me, figuring out 354 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:51,120 like first of all, I hated doing that. 355 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,720 That was terrible. I'll. 356 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:57,320 Probably do it again, but you know I did not I. 357 00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,320 Didn't do it right. I was super fidgety. 358 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,080 I ended up like. Tracing. 359 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,960 All of the details of this huge bite. 360 00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:08,520 I had with my parents, like my last night of high school, like, 361 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,160 OK, which way did I walk? You know, I don't think that's 362 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:14,720 what this is supposed to be about, but. 363 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:20,040 Knowing why to do. This practice, like any other 364 00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:23,600 practice, is optional. I didn't be. 365 00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:27,680 Able to it's like. It comes down to me right in 366 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:32,480 this moment as like. You do it because it's worth it. 367 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:38,320 And you get to define that like you like to go to the gym caddy 368 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:39,400 because it's. Worth it? 369 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:43,600 And. Ones that you do though, what 370 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:48,320 you don't do going to sleep, you don't even do riding a bike. 371 00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:52,200 You just put in the tension and practice. 372 00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:56,440 You know, I don't know lately when I was riding that pipe, but 373 00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:58,040 eventually I was able to ride it. 374 00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:04,360 So it might need to be unfolded. And don't take the seat off when 375 00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:07,640 you're writing the bike, you know, Enjoy it, you know? 376 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:09,960 This is your rest. This is your. 377 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,440 Time you don't have to worry about the future, you don't have 378 00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:14,880 to worry about the past. I know that T you sent him down. 379 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:19,400 Obviously I know that, but but you're, you're here and this is 380 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,720 your time, you know so. Are you? 381 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:24,040 Saying that like it's. OK, that I trace. 382 00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:27,360 A long yeah, so. Yeah, actually, Micah, don't 383 00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:29,440 forget your point. But you did it, right? 384 00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:33,920 Because it's fine. OK, So this is one, this is this 385 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,560 is one of those things where people are like, what is the 386 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:39,920 right way to meditate? The right way to meditate is the 387 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:44,320 way that gets you to meditate. So there can be more and less 388 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,040 skillful ways to meditate, right? 389 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,920 There can be, you know, deeper and more surface ways to 390 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:53,400 meditate, of course, right. But any way to meditate that 391 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,800 gets you meditating is the right way. 392 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,800 So, so I, I, we have a discussion about this a lot, 393 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,760 right? So it may not have been like a 394 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,840 peaceful meditation. It may not have been the like, 395 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:07,520 you know, light shining down from above meditation, but it's 396 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:10,320 still meditation, right? It's it. 397 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,160 Maybe it's unfortunate that you meditated on an argument that 398 00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:16,440 happened so long ago, but you know, it's. 399 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:18,920 Still, it's still. Kind of a meditation. 400 00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:23,320 And this is another one of those things like if you if you have 401 00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:26,000 certain expectations, it has to be this way. 402 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:29,440 There's if there's going to be variation in that. 403 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,880 The other thing is meditation is an exercise. 404 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:35,960 It's brain exercise, right? So one of the former leaders 405 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,880 here, Dave, used to talk about different kinds of meditation. 406 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,200 Like, like the kind of meditation that we sort of 407 00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:44,680 visualize is like, imagine you were rowing a boat across the 408 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,520 lake, a lake, right? And the lake is flat and 409 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,760 pristine and totally still. And you're just like rowing. 410 00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:52,400 And you're like, yeah, I'm in groove. 411 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:56,400 I'm rolling across the lake and just fly across that rate late, 412 00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:58,200 right? That's the kind of ideal 413 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:02,160 meditation that we have. But if you are in that boat and 414 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:05,840 it's stormy and choppy and you're rowing and you're putting 415 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,080 in all this effort to like, come on, I'm going to get across 416 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:11,800 like, which one is better exercise for your brain, right? 417 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:15,920 So even those choppy meditations, it's still training 418 00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,480 your brain to like, even if you're like, no, oh, no, come 419 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,200 back to this moment. And then you're like, oh, I'm 420 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:21,680 going to think about my grocery list. 421 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,320 Oh, wait, I'm going to come back to this moment. 422 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:26,080 Oh, my foot is itching. OK, I'm going to come back to 423 00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,760 this moment. Every time you come back, it's 424 00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:30,880 just another reputation repetition. 425 00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:34,080 So you did it right. Yeah, maybe it's the masculinity 426 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:35,560 you need. But that's what I hear with the 427 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,560 horse. That's what you hear with the 428 00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:38,720 horse. About the. 429 00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,360 Yeah. With Mima, but it's an. 430 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:46,200 Allegory. Maybe back then when? 431 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,360 He wrote he was speaking about. Course and with. 432 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,680 Today we just. Talk about separate and we. 433 00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:59,720 'Cause our own we suffer a lot. Some have more potential to bear 434 00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:06,160 up than the light suffering that snaps you out of it. 435 00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:11,560 So the whip to me had nothing to do with the IT was an allegory 436 00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:14,760 and I saw the suffering. That. 437 00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:18,800 Some people. And really do some sweaty. 438 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:25,880 Suffering and other people learn faster or shed their problems 439 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:32,320 easier, so there's no knowing. But it's an allegory, just to be 440 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:36,000 aware. My name is Lillian. 441 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,480 What you said really doesn't mean about. 442 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:42,000 The coming back, you know that I had a meditation teacher said 443 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:45,600 that, you know, that's that's where you know, that's that's 444 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,560 the import for like you're out there thinking about whatever 445 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:52,960 and they come back. That shift is that awareness 446 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:56,440 right there of like I would, you know, there's that sort of 447 00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,520 fantasy, but then I'm back to. What are for reality? 448 00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:00,480 Which is my. Breath or. 449 00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:03,680 Or whatever so that he said like as long as you sit on the 450 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:06,640 cushion, you remain there, you generate meditation she no 451 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:07,760 matter what. So. 452 00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:10,480 That would be a discourage. Like when I I would bring myself 453 00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:14,440 back, it'd be a cows in that you know, and then that you know it, 454 00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,000 that makes you hurt. Pumping makes you trying to, you 455 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:20,240 know, disturbed. But that part of the practice is 456 00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:23,760 being able to do that and not let it fluster you. 457 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:29,600 Also, that's practice. Michael, you know, so first of 458 00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:33,840 all. Mine is makeup, 80% of the time 459 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:39,240 I think I'm here. Like 80% of my meditations are 460 00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:43,360 just what did you call it? Scatterbrained or whatever, 461 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,120 Whatever you call squirrelly, whatever it is. 462 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:49,440 And maybe that's. Because like I outside of here, 463 00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:53,800 I have kind of system in place or a routine and my mind just 464 00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:57,160 resi better and it's is better able to tap into that. 465 00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:02,200 And ultimately, I think the goal would be to be able to tap into 466 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:06,400 it at any time. I think that's. 467 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:09,200 The goal is to be able to just live life back, you know? 468 00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,200 With that level of. Awareness and so like but. 469 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:13,920 Actually what I want to talk. About is. 470 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:24,320 The the horses like the way I'm interpreting it is more similar 471 00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:29,720 to what you were talking about in terms of observe, not. 472 00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:34,120 What did you say? You said Oh my God, like. 473 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,080 Acts or judge? Where he it was so. 474 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,600 Good it was too. Over it was an O. 475 00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:43,280 Observation versus. Obligation. 476 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:46,520 There was think. Observation versus obligation. 477 00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:50,960 And to me, that's kind of when what it was getting at. 478 00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:56,600 And that's why the, the example of, of violence, I think I'm not 479 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,200 going to say it's important, but to me, I really resonated with 480 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:07,800 that because what I struggle with is impulses that are like 481 00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:14,240 my impulse reactions to an emotional situation, which feels 482 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:16,800 like an obligation, which feels like a compulsion. 483 00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:23,600 And it is similar to that impulse reaction to like a 484 00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:28,920 flinch or like however you know the an animal might be respond 485 00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:32,720 to getting whipped or. Whatever, but I. 486 00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:35,880 Think that's kind of why how I. Related to it because. 487 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,720 Emotionally that. Reaction is very similar to 488 00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:41,520 maybe like the unimpulsive reaction to that. 489 00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,040 I know that might not be exactly what you were. 490 00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:45,440 But it really resonated with that. 491 00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:47,920 I like the observation, not obligation. 492 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,160 That's what it feels like. So often it's like, I feel like 493 00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:53,880 I need to do this thing. Like no. 494 00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:55,280 That's not true. I. 495 00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:01,760 Think. The idea of it? 496 00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:07,600 Being an aldore but suffering, if I think about it in terms of 497 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:15,920 process that kind of removes like that like judgment of 498 00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:20,400 whether it's in a positive or negative that like just the 499 00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:24,640 resistance of like a horse against, you know, the wet 500 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:28,640 border us, you know, trying not to suffer. 501 00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:34,280 So yeah. The roof I was first, I was 502 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:37,960 going to apologize I for all the noise during meditation. 503 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:41,840 I had to go out and come back in three times because because I 504 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:44,680 went out there because I remembered that my sunroof was 505 00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:48,440 over when I got out in the hallway. 506 00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:49,960 I didn't have my keys because they were. 507 00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:52,320 Here on the floor. So I had to come back in and get 508 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:53,320 the keys. You are paying. 509 00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:55,960 So it wasn't, it wasn't completely open, it was just 510 00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:57,680 open like that. So it's a much. 511 00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:00,280 More noise than that. That was happening, yeah. 512 00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:05,640 That was massive, yeah. It was pretty wet inside, so I 513 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:08,120 just spent some time wiping it out, but it was for it was fine. 514 00:34:08,159 --> 00:34:10,320 It wasn't, wasn't that much a problem, but that's why I was 515 00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:14,040 making all that noise. And what you were saying really, 516 00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:16,880 really resonated and, and some of what other people are saying. 517 00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:22,239 Because I, I have this thing where I have a hard time doing 518 00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:27,679 anything unless I can find a way to make it a sustainable thing. 519 00:34:28,679 --> 00:34:33,080 So that that can be a good thing because it's like, I don't, I 520 00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:36,320 don't like do things that seem unsustainable, like smoking 521 00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,840 cigarettes is unsustainable because if you continue to do 522 00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:42,840 that, you'll get sick. So I, I can't do something that 523 00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:47,440 seems to be unsustainable. So I might avoid doing that's 524 00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:48,960 like things that might not be good for me. 525 00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:53,440 But then I also have a hard time doing things that might be good 526 00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:57,040 for me unless I can find a way that they're sustainable, right? 527 00:34:57,040 --> 00:35:01,320 Like for instance, if I want to work out, I can't just go, I'm 528 00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:05,200 going to work out today unless I can think of a way that this is, 529 00:35:05,240 --> 00:35:10,320 this can be a pattern. And so then sometimes I won't do 530 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:13,120 those things unless I can find a way to make it a pattern. 531 00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:17,960 And that connected to what you were saying because Danielle, 532 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:20,480 because of. How I? 533 00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:24,400 Also have this continuous urge to be doing stuff right. 534 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:27,400 Like you said, it's very American to feel like time is 535 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,640 supposed to be used in productivity in some way or 536 00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:32,000 another, or the pursuit of some sort of pleasure. 537 00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:36,840 So then if I find I find myself some time stuck between this 538 00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:41,560 isn't I need to do something, but I can't find a sustainable 539 00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:44,760 way to do it. And then I get stopped there 540 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:48,720 until I can find that this has to be done, but I have to find a 541 00:35:48,720 --> 00:35:51,240 sustainable way to do it. It's not like a thing that I can 542 00:35:51,240 --> 00:35:53,640 say, well, I this is a sustainable so forget about it. 543 00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:56,920 It's like, no, this has to be done, but I can't figure it out. 544 00:35:56,920 --> 00:36:01,560 And then I get stuck in this this like intermediate zone. 545 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,880 And so. Then that's when I try to just 546 00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:11,080 say, all right, well, it is OK to just let this be the way the 547 00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:14,000 deviates. I don't have to continuous. 548 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,600 I don't always do this very well, but I don't have to 549 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:20,000 continuously spin my wheels until this gets solved, right? 550 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:21,400 This isn't going to be solved right now. 551 00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:24,920 I can't figure out a way to solve it right now, so I have to 552 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:30,080 live inside of it and observe it without a feeling of obligation 553 00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,760 to complete it. But also. 554 00:36:33,240 --> 00:36:37,120 You know, use, you know, think of find the right action 555 00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:43,160 eventually, but not be not not not be in this like state of, 556 00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:46,280 you know, discomfort until it's solved. 557 00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:49,840 That doesn't work very much for me. 558 00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:55,640 But I that's what I tried. So the next part is right 559 00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:59,840 attitude. The book is beginner minds in 560 00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:02,320 mind. It's available in the library, 561 00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:07,520 but also from audio For those of us, it's just on YouTube. 562 00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:11,360 There's the three hour little movie that you can watch. 563 00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:14,400 There's a four hour what too? I don't know, but I'm doing the 564 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:17,320 three hours. This talk faster. 565 00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:20,080 Norse. It's on Spotify. 566 00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,160 Too. No, Yeah, OK. 567 00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:26,520 Yeah, Peter Coyote is the one on the one that like, you know, 568 00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:30,040 he's gonna really could badly voice like that's the new 569 00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:33,840 Walter's. Just I'm doing the Peter Coyote. 570 00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:44,400 Afford because we say. May the free of our practice. 571 00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:47,040 Extend to all living. Beings.