1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:04,280 In this episode, I'm joined by Family Futures cofounder, CEO, 2 00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:08,000 and therapist Jay Thorne, alongside social worker and I 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:11,640 Adopt team leader Phil Kane. We talk about the importance of 4 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:15,080 support from assessment to early placement and our unique offer 5 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:18,520 to provide I Adopt parents with the first year of therapeutic 6 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:21,320 support for free. The funding for this has been 7 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:24,920 provided by a major donor and at a time where accessing support 8 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:28,040 can be so challenging for families, we discuss what that 9 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:31,720 support looks like in practice. If you'd like to know more about 10 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:35,000 becoming a parent through our IDLOP service or you have any 11 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,840 questions about adoption, you can contact us via e-mail, phone 12 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,520 or our website familyfutures.co.uk to arrange a 13 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,320 one to one call with a member of our team. 14 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:49,160 I think a really helpful place to start would be to talk about 15 00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:52,200 the assessment that we offer. Because I think support really 16 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:58,240 starts from the moment we start assessing you and what that 17 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,720 looks like. And how that support continues 18 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:06,760 on through the assessment into family finding into when your 19 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,320 child is placed with you. And then how we think about and 20 00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:13,560 consider what type of support options there are and what is 21 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:15,560 best suited to you and your family. 22 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:20,440 I don't know what the Phil you want to start as by introducing 23 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,960 yourself and explaining here. Well, that's probably a good 24 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,600 place to start. It's good. 25 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:28,160 I'm Phil Keane and I'm the the leader of the I Adopt team, 26 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:33,040 which is part of Family Futures. What we do is we recruit and 27 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:39,040 assess and approve perspective adopters to become become 28 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:43,120 adopters and do much with children and to be then have the 29 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,400 opportunity to have the the therapeutic support that's 30 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:49,520 provided by the other teams within family futures. 31 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:52,720 And I think that support, as you said, Charlotte starts at the 32 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:57,040 beginning because we are a collaborative of in respect is 33 00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:01,280 that maybe I adopt, but the the multidisciplinary therapists 34 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:04,320 within the team, one of them was allocated to carry out the 35 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:09,120 assessment with the social worker and and I adopt and that 36 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:13,200 the assessment lasts 6 months. But the whole part of that 37 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:17,080 support is to help people to feel confident, to feel as if 38 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:21,640 they provide the skills that they have, that sometimes they 39 00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:24,800 don't even realise they have childcare experience and things 40 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:28,600 like that, voluntary work and to equip them as best as possible. 41 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,560 The research practical issues, all as if it is for the 42 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:34,400 assessment, assessment strength based. 43 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:40,000 And we're trying to help people with that support to, to realise 44 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:45,480 the challenges and the rewards of adoption, but also is to to 45 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:49,320 understand the therapeutic needs and what we call the 46 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:52,280 developmental trauma that children have suffered that have 47 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,600 come for adoption. So I sometimes see their 48 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:58,360 assessment as a sort of AU bend as a big prepare. 49 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:02,040 And then on AU bed, we start to talk about the therapeutic needs 50 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:08,520 of children and how our adopters can become therapeutic parents. 51 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:12,760 And that is really, really facilitated by our therapist 52 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,640 being alongside the social worker and gathering 53 00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:18,680 information. So therefore, we feel that our 54 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:23,880 adopters are going to be approved with a lot more skills, 55 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:27,760 more understanding of the brain, understanding of trauma, 56 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:32,000 understanding of themselves and their own unique experiences and 57 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:35,320 where they need support and whether and how they can feel 58 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:39,520 that support is not something that you say, oh, I don't want 59 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:40,680 to support. It's as if there's something 60 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,920 wrong, right? To actually see support as a 61 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:44,800 strength. And I think that's really 62 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:48,440 important is if you see asking for support using your network, 63 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:51,800 the professional network, seeing that as a strength to be able to 64 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:54,360 ask for support because everybody needs support, no 65 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:57,080 persons on island. So I think it's really important 66 00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:02,080 that that when we get to panel is that people can adapt weak 67 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,960 within themselves, they under they understand their strengths, 68 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,680 but also potential blind spots and where they need support. 69 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:09,560 So I think that really starts there. 70 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:15,160 Yeah. And you mentioned the therapist 71 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,200 being alongside in the assessment. 72 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:21,200 Can you just explain a bit more about how that works and what 73 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:25,480 that looks like? So what it means is that we, we 74 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,680 have our own unique way of doing our assessment, you know, but 75 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:32,640 what it really means is the the social worker and the therapist 76 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:35,800 are with you and all those sessions that we do. 77 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:40,440 And I think that also helps is that we do use some therapeutic 78 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:44,240 tools that adopters want to use their own children, you know, 79 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,520 and therefore that they're doing that and they're getting to 80 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:50,000 being enrolled and integrated and it's a therapeutic 81 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:54,240 techniques. But I think that I think a lot 82 00:04:54,240 --> 00:05:00,120 of times the therapist for me goes a bit deeper and actually 83 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:02,320 helps people to actually think about things. 84 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,480 And maybe they all thought about and look at their own attachment 85 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,440 styles in different ways that they were parenting and things 86 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,920 like that. Whereas sometimes, and I'm a 87 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:13,920 social worker, I'm saying this is that sometimes that we have 88 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,280 just said, can you tell me that? Can you tell me that? 89 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:20,040 And sometimes we don't go as deep as maybe we should have. 90 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,680 And I think that that's where the therapist actually 91 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:27,520 facilitates people being able to actually explore themselves, to 92 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:31,680 strengthen their weaknesses. And that gives us more depth to 93 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:35,560 our assessment and our understanding all the people and 94 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:37,680 how we can support them. Ultimately, that's what we're 95 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:43,680 talking about. And Jay, you're a therapist and 96 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:47,240 you've, I know that you've been part of quite a few assessments 97 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:53,160 in your time having founded Family Futures, thinking about 98 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:57,040 the assessment and how the therapist is involved through 99 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,720 the assessment process and that support. 100 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:03,560 But then also how they're involved at the family finding 101 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,000 stage. And at that early stage in 102 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,760 placement where there's a lot of social work support, but also 103 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:12,840 the therapist is still kind of there providing that 104 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:14,920 consultation to talk a bit more about that. 105 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:20,080 Yeah, I think it's been, I remember when IODOP was set up 106 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:23,680 and it was a really new model to have social worker and therapist 107 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:27,080 working together and bringing the therapy tools that we use 108 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:30,280 with children and families into the IODOP process. 109 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:36,200 So I think it's, it's a really inspiring thing to be a part of 110 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,440 and you're on this journey together. 111 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:42,080 Now it's led by the social worker, but that you're working 112 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:46,880 collaboratively with the social worker in in the Ideopt team and 113 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,200 with the parents to really get to know them and to really think 114 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:52,160 about what their strengths are, what they're going to need more 115 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:55,200 support with what it's going to be like when a child's place. 116 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:58,320 Because of course, we all bring our experience of knowing what 117 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,560 it's like when a child's place and things that are more 118 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:04,000 challenging. So we can really guide people in 119 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:08,280 making sense of what that might feel like for them when a child 120 00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:10,640 is placed and how, how, what sort of help they might need. 121 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:12,760 Yeah. And I think that that does help. 122 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:16,640 It helps as the social worker and the fact is that you could 123 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:19,240 someday you're laying on it's not all you need to know when 124 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,600 you can actually say let's chew the fart here. 125 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,960 And if we treat the fart a professional level help, it 126 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,080 helps us. Do we treat the fart with their 127 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:31,480 doctor and say this is what you might and might see or might do 128 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:35,640 or such and such and sometimes maybe take the fear out of 129 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:38,000 certain terms. Do you know what I mean? 130 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,400 Like what is global developmental delay? 131 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,200 Do you know what I mean? And things like what does that 132 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,880 mean? And every day, yeah, everyday 133 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:50,080 life, a child or understand the spectrum of autism or whatever, 134 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:53,240 but it's FASD and things like that, it just helps people. 135 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,040 And to me that's support because we're supporting you to make 136 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:59,960 informed choices. So I think that what happens 137 00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:04,200 with finally very Charlotte is that we have that breadth of 138 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:08,320 experience and knowledge that we can share with the adopters when 139 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,200 they're thinking of making one of the most life changing 140 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,440 decisions. I've been my child. 141 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:17,600 I was thinking, Phil, being a parent is hard and when you when 142 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:21,240 you give birth to a child, that's still a shock and is a is 143 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:25,080 a process of adjusting to being a parent and for a lot of people 144 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:26,840 it takes a long time. It's. 145 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,800 That's normal, but if you're taking in a child who's had 146 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,120 difficult experiences when they're little, who's had moves 147 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:37,480 of families, they're going to come with a little bit more 148 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:43,600 challenge, more needs, but you're still going to be 149 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,400 adjusting. So having a social worker and a 150 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:49,800 therapist alongside to support you and to know well what's in 151 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:52,960 the normal range and what you need more understanding about 152 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:57,840 and more specialist help with is really crucial. 153 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:01,680 And I think that all about an assessment is theoretical, 154 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,920 right? What we're getting formified is 155 00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:08,320 practical so that the support that we provide about maybe 156 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,800 meeting the birth parent, you know, and preparing for 157 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,640 questions. And I think the therapist can 158 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:16,080 always give that angle as well, you know, as a social worker, 159 00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:20,200 And I do think it's important that by that time is that the 160 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:23,840 adopters adopter is that they actually know the social worker 161 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:25,320 therapist. Do you know what I mean? 162 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:30,480 So it's people that know that continuity of they're allocated 163 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:33,400 workers, but to actually talk about how you're going to meet a 164 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:36,840 birth parent whose social work will be there to support them, 165 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:39,520 but also what kind of questions we're going to ask because we're 166 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:43,760 going to ask preparing the welcoming book for a child, you 167 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:46,000 know, doing the videos, things like that. 168 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,800 These are really such all practical issues that are really 169 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,800 important because what they do is they set the tone. 170 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:57,920 They set the tone for confidence building and for the adopters to 171 00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:01,240 feel confident in what they're doing is so there's all those 172 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:05,080 little tasks that we break down and that support, I think has 173 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:09,600 been really invaluable. You know, and, or, and also 174 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:15,480 sometimes it's just giving them that experience and examples of 175 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,600 how to do things. I think it goes a long way. 176 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:21,960 I think it'd be quite helpful kind of offer some explanations 177 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:24,320 of what support looks like in reality. 178 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,200 So from a social work perspective, I think it'll be 179 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,920 really helpful, Phil, if you could give an example, like a 180 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,760 case example of some support that you provided and what that 181 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:35,240 looked like. And then from a therapeutic or 182 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:38,920 therapy perspective, Jay, if you could provide an example of when 183 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:42,160 you've stepped in and supported in a therapist's role, just so 184 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:45,760 people have an idea of what that looks like, what that would be. 185 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:50,920 Was so we as the social work roles, as the statutory tasks, 186 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:54,720 there's a meeting, the social workers meet to discuss the 187 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,040 matching of a child and all the different things like that. 188 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:59,960 So there's there's reports I've got to go to panel, things like 189 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,120 that. And I think that what's 190 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,600 essentially there is a support plan, it's called the adoption 191 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,840 support plan. This is a plan that's going to 192 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:10,720 be provided by the by the child's authority to support the 193 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,680 placement. So I think at that point and 194 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:15,840 even before we're, we're thinking about what is the 195 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:18,720 therapeutic needs, what's it, I've never made holistic needs 196 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,600 of this child, right. So we're thinking about what is 197 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,520 that? And that's when we'd be talking 198 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:29,840 to our colleagues again within the the treatment service about 199 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:32,360 what is the needs of this child. We would actually have an 200 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:37,080 analysis of group from the reports on the children of who 201 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,560 we anticipate it needs to be before we because we can't meet 202 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:44,480 the child until the adoption has been agreed by Dutch House 203 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,480 authority. So we're thinking ahead. 204 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,600 I think that's what we're doing, but for a social war angle is 205 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:54,280 that we're there with the adopters to help them prepare 206 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,400 the paperwork. We've been we'll be in the 207 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,760 matching panel, but there will be we're called, isn't it a 208 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,600 transition plan? We're part of that how that 209 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:06,360 child is going to transition over to the care of the the 210 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,120 adopter. So those little things I've 211 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:09,360 talked about meeting with us parents. 212 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,280 So the welcomed books are bumping to meetings. 213 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:14,960 We're there, we're helping. I've opened in this strategy as 214 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:19,760 being that person that's there for the adopters when the 215 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:23,440 wobble. God doesn't actually go, you go 216 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:25,320 with them. You went recently. 217 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:29,400 I think you did quite a long drive with some of our adopters 218 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:35,800 to go and meet. Was it for you drove somewhere 219 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:39,320 with them in their car to go and do like an early transitions 220 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,960 meeting, didn't you? So you're what I'm getting at is 221 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:44,640 that you you're practically when you're saying alongside it's 222 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:47,040 not, it's not. You know we're here with you in 223 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:50,640 spirit, like you're practically there with them, right? 224 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:55,400 I think that you we went I had AI tried this session meeting 225 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:59,840 and then we went on to meet the birth parents, right. 226 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:01,600 Yeah. So we've done it all, you know, 227 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:06,080 and yeah, and I suppose that's our experience that serves us 228 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,400 the support. I guess it's it. 229 00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:10,720 But picking about and letting them, you don't have to worry 230 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,240 about how they're going to get there and going to do this and 231 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:16,520 that they can concentrate on what they're going to do and 232 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:17,680 then we could do something, right. 233 00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:20,280 OK. And you that's what you feel 234 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:25,440 quite humble, is it how how people are relying on you? 235 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:27,680 Do you know what I mean? Because you're the person you've 236 00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:29,560 been you've done it before and you know what you're doing. 237 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:33,200 They don't like it's time go guys, that's a lot. 238 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,720 You do feel quite humble, you know, and you can see what it 239 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,160 means. Do you know what I mean? 240 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:41,080 How these are special moments and and that's before the back 241 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:42,320 the child. Do you know what I mean? 242 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:45,200 So you're there with them all the way and you're talking about 243 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,200 case, but they talk a bit quite a lot. 244 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:51,120 And then I bump into them, you know, you know, about how you 245 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:53,080 decide to just lift the pressure off. 246 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,520 That's what you're done. You know, I let them go on 247 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,560 there. So we're there and I think that 248 00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,480 everybody's different. Some people want that to a more 249 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:02,920 in depth help and some people, you know, I'll just meet you 250 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:06,240 there or whatever it is. But we're there, right, because 251 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:09,040 we're a team. We're A-Team from the futures I 252 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:12,240 adopt, we're A-Team and we want to adopt as a part of that team. 253 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:16,720 And we're presenting as a team to the child's authority, our, 254 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:20,240 our adoption agency, you know, and I think that that shows 255 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:24,360 strength and the assessment process and how we work, you 256 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:30,080 know, back to how our adopters are able to promote and advocate 257 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,320 our advocacy support that they need. 258 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:36,320 And I think that's what Jay and the therapeutic team can win is 259 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,680 that we are then saying that we need an assessment of this 260 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:41,920 child's therapeutic needs, right? 261 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:45,960 And that's not a job for me. And we go to Jay and the rest 262 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:47,880 there. And then they would not take 263 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:51,440 over, but they would take, they would move into that, that sort 264 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:54,120 of sphere of that child's support. 265 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:55,480 And then we would have that in the plan. 266 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,520 And it sounds, I mean I know from working at family features, 267 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,480 it's very, it's very hands on practical. 268 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,800 Support but I. Also know I've just picked up 269 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:06,240 that Jay mentioned assessing couples earlier, but we've had 270 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:10,200 quite a few single adopters who've we've supported and I 271 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:13,080 think that level of practical support and really, really and 272 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,800 truly being alongside is really helpful. 273 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,760 Adopting. If you're adopting us as a 274 00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:23,320 single person to know that you're, you know, I know that 275 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,800 you've done family finding visits as well with some of our 276 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:29,200 single adopters for where you've gone with them to meet foster 277 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:33,680 carers and maybe do bump into meetings and, and how helpful 278 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,920 that would feel for someone who was doing this journey on their 279 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:39,280 own. But Jay, if you would like to 280 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,160 maybe just share a bit about some practical support or what 281 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:45,400 that looked like for you from a therapy perspective? 282 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:49,080 So I was thinking what would be a good example, and I suppose a 283 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:53,560 more straightforward example from a therapy perspective is a 284 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:57,720 family that I've worked with, I've known for over 10 years 285 00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:01,440 now. The child was placed age 3. 286 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:08,680 She'd had profound neglect. She had really not been 287 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:12,520 parented, spent long periods of time on her own in the cot or in 288 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:17,360 a buggy, and when she was placed she settled in without a 289 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:20,880 backward glance. She she didn't even notice that 290 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:24,960 she'd moved place. But what became very apparent 291 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,360 when we carried out an assessment and everybody had 292 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:30,960 realized she would have needs because of her profound neglect, 293 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:35,240 was that she was very bright, had lots of skills, but she 294 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,640 didn't understand what the other person was for. 295 00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:42,640 She didn't know what the point of her mum was and so we 296 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:48,080 undertook a a an extended process of offering Theraplay. 297 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:51,240 Now Theraplay is a particular intervention which focuses on 298 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:54,240 working with a parent and child together to build an attachment 299 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,480 relationship. It's early really. 300 00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:02,200 Parent child games, developmental gains, silly 301 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:07,480 little things like peekaboo like head, shoulders, knees and toes 302 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:13,960 games, or this is the way the lady rides or counting fingers. 303 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:17,000 So they're the gains aren't the important bit. 304 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:21,680 The important bit is how you help that child build a bond to 305 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:24,920 their adoptive parent. Now this was a single adopter. 306 00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:27,079 It's a great honour to still know them. 307 00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:30,840 Now I don't see them very often at all and they're doing really 308 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:32,800 well. But what this three-year old 309 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:37,440 needed was to learn what the point of a mum was and that that 310 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:41,720 needed to be done practically in a room with the mother and child 311 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:45,680 together to help them. Because this child in many ways, 312 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,240 she had language. She just liked to use the 313 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:49,800 language when she was on her own in the room. 314 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,600 I'm sure this parent who will know exactly what I'm talking 315 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:56,600 about will mind this. So that is theraplay and that is 316 00:17:56,600 --> 00:18:01,320 a practical intervention that we can offer for a range of 317 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:04,440 families through I adopt. That is a really good early 318 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:08,120 intervention model. And I really believe that if you 319 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:11,120 can get it right from early on. And that's why we're making our 320 00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:14,960 offer of saying through our donation funding, through our 321 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:18,080 our kind donor, we are going to guarantee a first year of 322 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:22,240 therapy because if you set up families in the beginning to 323 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:26,080 feel they've got that connection, the outcomes are 324 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,280 much better. I wanted to pick up, you've sort 325 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,080 of said it, but I wanted to pick up on something. 326 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:32,800 You said it, but you said, oh, I don't hear from them very much 327 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,440 anymore. So I think it's quite 328 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,320 interesting because you said, well, you know, I've known them 329 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:41,040 for 10 years and a lot of our families, because we have been 330 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:44,920 going for so long, over 27 years, is, you know, we talk a 331 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:48,400 lot historically about, oh, this family and they feel so present, 332 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:52,080 but it's, it's not, they've been having intensive therapy for the 333 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:57,800 last 10 years, you know them. But because they had that work 334 00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:01,960 early on, you get to, you know, hear from them at points, right? 335 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:05,920 It's not consistent. You know, they're in the office 336 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:09,280 every week, which is it's nice to have that, but that 337 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,120 relationship is still there. Exactly. 338 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:16,360 And that relationship means that we can slot back in where we 339 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:19,400 left off. Mum doesn't need to explain her 340 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,800 history. I know the child's history, I 341 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:25,560 know how they're managing. So it means that it's very easy. 342 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:28,360 And for me the great joy is. I know what's happened. 343 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:31,440 I know that they're managing while they're in good shape and 344 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:34,840 that helps me and informs me about what works. 345 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,720 So no, they've not been coming every week for you. 346 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,760 I don't see them very often at all in recent years. 347 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:45,560 And but what's lovely is I know the progress they've made and I 348 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:49,880 know, and mum would say as well, the Theraplay work early on 349 00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:53,480 cemented that relationship. Help this child learn what a 350 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:57,880 parent is for to turn to her mum and her mum is now her mum. 351 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,880 There is no doubt her first port of call if there's any problems 352 00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:05,480 in any area of her life for this particular child is to go to her 353 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:07,960 mum. Now she didn't have that before 354 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:12,840 and I do think Thoroughplay was instrumental in helping that 355 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,240 security. Now that's a much more 356 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:17,480 straightforward there are more complicated ones, but it it 357 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:22,240 gives a taster of why therapy. Can be such an important part 358 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,360 early in placement. And I think that the it's not 359 00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:28,200 the end, but it all goes back to the beginning for me all the 360 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,400 time. Is this when do you come? 361 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:35,000 We're here to help you to become an adopter through the 362 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,120 assessment process, right? And as an assessment, there's no 363 00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:42,640 two ways about it, you know. But as I said, but then what's 364 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:44,880 the proof? Once you're approved, we start 365 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,920 looking at the practicals because you're starting to look 366 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,280 at family findings, things like that. 367 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:52,800 And you start to this theory of, yes, therapeutic parent and 368 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,280 developmental trauma. They're actually seen in real 369 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,320 terms because this real life children you're looking at, you 370 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,880 know, and then I think that then it goes into the actual, the 371 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:06,880 implementation of the the therapeutic story. 372 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:09,800 If you get a point, is that you're actually doing those 373 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:14,680 therapeutic exercises with your child in real life, you know, 374 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:16,240 because it should become real life. 375 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:20,320 And I think that from the social work perspective, what it does, 376 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:24,240 and I think this is what does make it unique, is that it 377 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,680 provides that underpinning of the placement. 378 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:33,360 Other agencies that don't have the wide range of therapies that 379 00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:36,560 multidisciplinary therapists that we have, the social workers 380 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:40,960 but don't have that. So that helps us underpin. 381 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:44,880 And that underpinning actually provides placement stability, 382 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:48,400 but also provides confidence. Confidence comes from the 383 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,000 support. And that support then, as you 384 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:54,160 said, is that people could come back, even if it's just a bit of 385 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:57,240 signpost and a bit of direction and we've got help. 386 00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,120 Or do you know, I just want to talk something through it. 387 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,440 We're here because I feel that we're alike. 388 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:07,440 We're part of that family network one way or the other 389 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,800 because we have been part of it right from the beginning, you 390 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,960 know, so you don't feel bad falling in his up and saying, 391 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,920 oh, have you got 10 minutes of your time? 392 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:17,680 That's going to be right. Exactly. 393 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:23,760 Can I just add in a little bit, I was just thinking in 2019, we 394 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:29,280 reviewed our iadopt families and what we could see very clearly 395 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,040 is that for iadopt families who had been offered and the 396 00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,840 majority had taken up early intervention in that first year 397 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:40,120 or so a placement there. They were on a much better 398 00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:43,440 trajectory than families that come in, in crisis through our 399 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:46,840 treatment service. So in a way that really confirms 400 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:49,840 if we can get this right from the beginning, if we can make 401 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:54,080 sure the support is available at the beginning, then actually we 402 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:58,160 are confident that we can help you not go into crisis like 403 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,120 sadly other adoptive families are later on. 404 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:05,080 And we are going to be redoing our research on that. 405 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:08,080 That's we've got an what are the paper being published this year, 406 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:11,840 but that will be one of our next research projects is to really 407 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:15,120 look back at I adopt again and look at the outcomes for those 408 00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:17,880 children, because the outcomes is what tells us what we're 409 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,320 getting right and what we're not getting right. 410 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,560 So we've all really need to be looking at, well, what happens 411 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:26,680 to these kids. And I think that as you said 412 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,880 earlier, pen is not easy and pen by adoption is even harder. 413 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:34,160 You know, since I've been here for the half years is that every 414 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,320 placement's had its bumps in the road, right? 415 00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:39,440 They've had times where it's been has been tested and it's 416 00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:43,920 been difficult, you know, but with support and was are helping 417 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:46,680 people just realise to be confident they do have the 418 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,040 skills and the abilities and have the network and all those 419 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:50,240 kind of things. Is that. 420 00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:53,760 But you had a placement breakdown, you know, and I think 421 00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:57,600 that that's that actually sort of echoes that early 422 00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,880 intervention and the early invasion, I think starts that's 423 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,000 an assessment, right? You know, I mean, because 424 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,080 because we're more aware, but you get the meat and drink is 425 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:10,320 the the therapeutic support actually, as I say, a better 426 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:12,960 underpinning. It really cements the 427 00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:16,960 foundations of that placement of that child within an adoptive 428 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:20,920 family. When the Ofsted inspectors came 429 00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:26,840 right in December 2025 is that they've met two families, right. 430 00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:31,600 One was of over 10 years standing of working with with 431 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,840 family futures and one was over five years, right. 432 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:40,360 So which evidenced the fact is that that continuity of service 433 00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:42,680 that we provide. I think the proof is in the 434 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,800 pudding, really. We've been offset outstanding 435 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:48,200 now for over a decade. That's 12. 436 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:52,320 We're on our 13th year now. They look at all of our services 437 00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:55,440 and they're always interested in all of our services and our 438 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,280 services really do inform each other. 439 00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:01,000 They are very intersectional. And you know, we've spoke a lot 440 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:04,200 about the their therapy team and how they work with the social 441 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:08,200 work team provide that consultation and how helpful 442 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:12,200 that is. But the I Adopt service has been 443 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:17,120 running for over 10 years, since 2000 and eight, 2009 was first 444 00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:20,520 placement, 2008 was when it started, I think. 445 00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:25,920 And you spoke to Jay about the, you know, doing another round of 446 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:30,200 research based on the IODOP data and those families. 447 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:34,520 But we also know just through qualitative feedback, through 448 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:39,800 working in the service, we haven't had a, you know, a tired 449 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:44,600 wave of families who are 10 years in, who are suddenly in 450 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:46,800 complete crisis and needing loads of support. 451 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,760 And I think that's partly to do with the early intervention, but 452 00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:52,160 it's partly to do with the education and training that 453 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:58,680 happens in the assessment. And people always feel feedback, 454 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:05,360 how equipped they feel and that they understand the language and 455 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:08,760 what needs would look like and how behaviour plays out. 456 00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:11,800 I think that's really powerful. And I think it can also be 457 00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:15,080 quite, you know, I'm part of marketing team and we think a 458 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,560 lot about language. And I think it can be quite 459 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:21,760 intimidating for people because we don't, you know, put a spin 460 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:26,600 on this early doors. We don't sell the the Disney 461 00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:31,520 lovely shiny version and wait for people to suddenly be 462 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,600 shocked with very open and clear about the realities and the 463 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:38,640 challenges, also the benefits. But I think that is what is so 464 00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:45,080 helpful for people is they come into the process feeling that 465 00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:48,640 they're made aware what this, what it, what this journey is 466 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:50,080 going to be, what it's going to look like. 467 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:54,000 And they're really informed. And it's great to have that 468 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:59,880 feedback, but also to know that it works because of the input 469 00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:02,560 that we provide, but also because of how many families 470 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:05,720 come back to us, which is none to say, Oh no, we're really 471 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:07,600 struggling. We had no idea what it was going 472 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:09,880 to be like. We have to be honest about this. 473 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:13,680 They have to say adoption. I've I've been doing this a long 474 00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,520 time as her spill. I believe in adoption. 475 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:19,560 I believe there are really good things about it and I'm lucky 476 00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:23,240 enough to see 2030 and 40 year olds coming back to me. 477 00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:27,720 As you know, 40 grand adults say I'm OK, I've had, you know, 478 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:29,720 things are good. I've got married, I've had a 479 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,520 baby. That makes it me know that it 480 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:36,080 works. It can be really positive, but 481 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:40,680 it's it's hard as well. And they give, once prepared 482 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:45,800 properly in that assessment process, really understanding 483 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:48,560 what the challenges are, really understanding what the possible 484 00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:51,640 triggers are going to be in one's own history, then one's a 485 00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:53,960 quick better to manage it. And if you feel you've got 486 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:57,760 people alongside that you trust that you know, you can come back 487 00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:01,480 to who can provide direct support and therapy for the 488 00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:05,520 child and therapy for you if you need it, and that's the level of 489 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:08,440 support, then you're in a better position. 490 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:12,000 And then we're not selling some dream that it's all a fairy tale 491 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:13,440 and everything's going to be lovely. 492 00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:17,400 We're talking truthfully and we can sleep at nights because 493 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:22,280 we've not mis sold and we can feel confident that we can 494 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:24,680 provide the support and we will provide the support. 495 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:28,760 That's what we're guaranteeing to make sure you can come out 496 00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:30,520 the other side. Have a good life. 497 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:35,960 That support is not a failure. No, you have people haven't been 498 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,080 sold a dream. And then if it doesn't work, 499 00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:40,320 it's because some you know it's it's on them. 500 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:44,320 And I think a nice full circle is that one of our panel members 501 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:49,120 is actually was a service user and was supported by family 502 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:51,840 features and has now sat on our adoption panel. 503 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:57,400 And I know from when I've worked previously in, in I adopt admin, 504 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,200 but you know, he asks some really great questions. 505 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:05,280 He's very realistic and he provides a really vital lived 506 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:09,000 experience sat on that panel. But everybody out there the 507 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:13,040 point is that support is not a weakness, it's a strength, 508 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:15,480 right. I really think it's that 509 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:18,560 important, right. And if you come and yes, 510 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:22,680 adoption seen it or that not seen it as a truck wire don't 511 00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:24,400 see how they're trying to catch you out. 512 00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:29,000 They're trying to help you right And I think that that's so 513 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,760 support is there everybody needs it. 514 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:36,000 No person in an island, you know, and I think the the valley 515 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:40,840 futures and I adopt you clearly get a a breadth of support that 516 00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:43,160 will go beat you and your child's needs. 517 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:45,120 We hope you enjoyed this episode. 518 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:47,920 If you'd like to know more about becoming a parent through our I 519 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:51,080 Adopt service, or you have any questions about adoption, you 520 00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:53,880 can contact us via e-mail, phone or our website 521 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:57,800 familyfutures.co.uk to arrange a phone call with a member of our 522 00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:58,120 team.