Ramadan is the best time to get closer to the Dean, but going
into it, having things, situations, and people weighing
your soul down is going to make this shift so much harder.
The reason you're failing to make progress is because you're
stuck in the past. You need to learn to let these
doors fully close in order to accept abundance and happiness
into your life. Assalam Alaikum, this is your
host Nasin and welcome to Journey to Jenna, a podcast care
day to help you become your own dream girl.
On the second episode of the Ramadan series, we are going to
cover Cleansing your Soul, letting things go, forgiving and
detoxing. The month of Ramadan is such a
huge Iman boost, but what a lot of us don't realize is that we
need to prep our souls in order to be able to properly feel that
Iman boost. We need to clean out all that
old negative energy that's there so that we can accept all the
positivity and Iman boost that Ramadan brings.
Whether this negative energy comes from past situations or
people or influences that are currently present in your life,
you need to work through it and remove it from your life so that
you can cleanse your soul. Your internal world is just as
important, if not more important than your external world.
Your internal world influences how you think, how you view your
external reality, your perspective, how your
relationships with people are, how you react to situations, and
your soul is a part of that internal world.
Your soul is affected by all of these things, especially when
we're looking at it in a more spiritual context.
It can affect your relationship with the loss of Hanawatala.
Your internal world should be a place of comfort for you.
You should be able to look within yourself and feel content
and happy and most importantly, at home.
But instead you have all of these thoughts, all of these
negative situations that happened or negative people that
entered your life at one point that are making your internal
environment a very toxic place. So it's very important to work
through this and learn to let go and to clean out your internal
environment so it does become a place where you feel safe and at
home. I'm a very strong believer that
if you put your mind to something and you work for it,
you can achieve anything. The only person that can hold
you back from this is yourself, and having a negative internal
space is one of the biggest ways that you can be doing this.
The reason that you're failing to make progress, whether that
be in the Dean or in the Lumia, is because you're stuck in the
past. You're holding on to things,
situations, and people that don't serve you anymore, and
through this you're subconsciously stunting your
growth and holding yourself onto the same exact place.
If you want to grow, you need to let go of all the negative
energy you're holding onto. Look at the future.
Look at the bigger picture. Look at the amazing things that
you aspire to achieve. These doors won't open for you
unless you allow the doors of your past to close.
Yes, fully closing these doors will hurt.
Yes, it's going to be hard. But you need to realize that
sometimes a law opens a door for you so that you can learn a
lesson. Not everything and everyone that
comes into your life is meant to stay.
Not everything in your life is going to work out the way you
expect it or want it to. Some things are simply meant to
come into your life, serve their purpose, and then leave.
And when that time comes, you need to let it go peacefully.
And sometimes when they go, we are hurt by something that this
person has done to us, and the best thing that we can do in
this situation is to forgive. And I understand that this can
be hard for a whole bunch of reasons.
But before we get into that, let's talk about what
forgiveness actually is and what it's not.
Forgiveness isn't an emotion. It's not something that you
feel. Forgiveness is an active choice.
It's a decision that you make. And by choosing to forgive, you
aren't saying that what the other person did is OK, nor are
you excusing whatever it is that happened.
Instead, what you're doing is saying, yes, what you did hurt,
but I'm not going to hold it against you.
It's a decision to let go of the past and to move on from it and
instead live in the present. It's choosing to not hurt those
who have hurt you. Forgiveness is choosing to let
go of your anger and your resentment and leaving the rest
of the Allah subhanahu, Attallah.
What happens a lot of the time is that we tend to get hurt from
so many different people. Or maybe for you it's one
specific person and we hold on to that hurt for a long time.
We hold on to it because we resent the people that hurt us.
But I've learned that by doing this, we are inadvertently
causing more harm to ourselves than anyone else.
Forgiveness isn't just something you do for others, it's
something you do for yourself so that your heart can find peace.
Imagine every time a person's name comes up and your energy is
automatically killed because you haven't been able to forgive
them yet and let go. That's such a draining way to
live. Now imagine the same thing.
A person's name comes up and you don't feel any shift because
you've chosen to forgive them and to move on because they've
allowed yourself peace to no longer be held down by the
negative emotions. The hurt that was caused to you
by someone else is genuinely freeing.
Forgiving others for what they've done is allowing freedom
to yourself from them. It's something that you do for
yourself. So overall, forgive the people
that hurt you, one for the sake of a lust Bahna with Allah, and
two so that you can finally be at peace and be free.
Because for every person that you forgive, you are healing one
of your own wounds. But how exactly do we get
ourselves to that point where we are ready to truly forgive and
to let go? My biggest tip is to vent.
Make a video. Record yourself talking about
it. Journal it out.
Get out every single emotion that you feel about this person
or the situation. What happened?
What led up to it? What are your thoughts and what
have you been feeling? Why do you think you haven't
been able to forgive and let go yet?
Anything and everything that you want out puts it out and be
truthful with everything that you're saying.
This is so that you can First off let yourself fully feel all
your emotions, because by doing this you can slowly come to
terms with the situation. You can't let go of emotions
that you haven't fully faced yet.
It also allows you to let go of any resentment that you're
holding on to, and this helps you get back in control of your
emotions of the situation. You've already given so much
time and so much energy to this, and now because you fully let
yourself feel the extent of your emotions, you can finally stop
giving it that time and energy. Tip #2.
Pinpoint whether your anger is constructive or destructive.
The anger that you feel can manifest in two different ways.
The 1st way is constructive anger, which is when you express
anger in a positive way and the end result is good because
you're able to channel your energy as motivation to address
and fix the issue instead of just venting.
You're actively trying to find the underlying problem that's
triggered your anger, and you're able to communicate all of this
to the other person without using any aggression.
The 2nd way is called destructive anger, which is when
you express your anger in ways that are harmful,
counterproductive and damaging to yourself and to others.
This usually manifests in aggressive behavior, So an
example would be verbal or physical violence, and this
leads to escalating the situation, making it worse than
it already is, and this makes it so much more difficult to
manage. If you find yourself being in
the second category, that you're dealing with your anger in a
destructive way, take a step back and reflect.
Rethink what it is that you're doing.
Yes, your emotions are 100% valid, but you need to learn how
to use them in a constructive way and to help better the
situation, because all you're doing is making the situation
worse. Tip #3 is talk to the other
person. This of course doesn't extend to
every single situation. If a person has disrespected you
over and over, then they've shown you exactly what they
think about you. And in cases like these, it's
better to not, since this person has basically shown that they're
through their actions, that they don't care at that point.
Trying to communicate is more disrespectful to yourself than
anything, but in a lot of situations communication does
help. This can clear up any
misunderstandings that you guys can have, and it can also
provide closure to you. Tip #4, Ask yourself how you can
go from the situation. Your mindset effects how you see
every single situation, so switch your mindset to see the
positive. How can you learn and grow from
this experience? What can I do in the future to
make sure something like this doesn't happen again?
Maybe you didn't listen to your intuition when you first became
friends with a girl and that ended up backfiring.
Your lesson is to listen to your gut next time.
See what things you can pick up and use to better yourself so
that you can protect yourself. I want to fully wrap up the
whole topic of cleansing your soul by saying this.
The best way is to talk to Allah.
Subhanahu with Allah. And on top of that let yourself
feel. Sometimes we tend to avoid
emotions that are building up inside of us and this only makes
them last longer. So feel all the emotions that
you've been holding in, really fuel them and give yourself
compassion. And then when you're ready, let
go of them. Replace them with Allah's love
and the knowledge that whatever it is that has happened, Allah
is there for you through it all. Next we're going to cover
detoxing, and I'm going to give three specific things that I
feel like we should all aim to detox from this Ramadan and
obviously afterwards as well. All three of these things can
take the focus away from what we truly should be focusing on this
month, which is our Dean, Allah, the Quran in our prayers.
It's about how you go about utilizing them.
They can help you or make things harder for you, but honestly,
make it a rule. If you notice something is
taking you away from your focus, constantly remove it or work on
controlling it so that you can focus on what actually does
matter. Number one is your phone.
Yes, we all need our phones to make calls for school, work,
etcetera. But are you really using them
productively? And also this extends to any of
your electronic devices. If the answer is no, rework your
electronic device your phone so that it works to your benefit
and helps you get things done instead of being a distraction
for you. I highly recommend you set up a
screen time for yourself so that you can track how long you go on
your phone, on what apps do you use the most and you can set
limits for yourself as well. It can be so easy to just go on
your phone all day doing Ramadan and you know, just scrolling
through tik toks and reels and this is something that you
should aim to eliminate. This leads me to #2, which is
social media. I know a lot of people just
start up, deactivate their accounts, and delete all their
social media apps from their phone.
For this month I have personally given a snapshot and TikTok and
I'm using Instagram very strictly for content creation
purposes. It's not like a full detox per
SE, but even then I am definitely feeling the positive
effects of it. Not only do I have more time to
do more, my mind is a lot less cluttered because I'm not taking
in all this short form content. If you do choose to use social
media, set a time limit using the built in screen time option
and just go through and unfollow pages and people that post
content that don't add to your life in a positive and
productive way. This actually also leads me to
#3 which is dopamine. One of the main ways we get
dopamine now is through short form content on social media.
If you don't know what dopamine is, it's the chemical in our
brain that is responsible for feelings of happiness and
motivation. It's often called the happy
hormone and it plays a role in controlling our memory, mood,
sleep, learning and concentration.
The reason that this can be negative is because we're
getting so much dopamine from social media and all of the
other external stimuli in our lives that it's actually having
a negative effect. High dopamine levels result in
anxiety, insomnia, hallucinations, ADHD, you know,
not being able to focus and this really does have a negative
effect on your life. So really watch out for all of
the stimulus that you have in your life and put in point what
you need to cut out so that you can control the dopamine that
your brain is getting. That brings us to the end of
this episode. I hope you got something out of
this to help you cleanse your soul.
Forgive, let go and detox and make the most out of the
following month. Make sure to follow my Instagram
for daily motivation and to just see my life.
I'll have a link to it in the description.
Also Ramadan Kareem. I hope each and every single one
of you have a very, very spiritually fulfilling month.
I pray that you are able to change your life this Ramadan.
I pray that you're able to build new habits and you're able to
become a better version of yourself.
As always, thank you so much for tuning in.
And Aslam, I come. I'll see you in my next episode.