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Salaam Alaikum, welcome back to 
my podcast. 

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This is my first podcast episode
that I've done also in video 

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format. 
Hi, it's been a hot minute since

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I posted my last episode. 
Today's episode is called 20 

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Lessons I Learned Before I 
Turned 20. 

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And I mean, the title speaks for
itself. 

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I'm going to be giving 20 
lessons that I learned before I 

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turn 20. 
This video is going to be posted

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after I turn 20. 
My birthday is November 3rd. 

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But I've seen a lot of other 
people do it and I thought why 

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not do it myself? 
I feel like I have a lot of 

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things that I've learned and I 
don't know. 

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Things that I just. 
Want to share? 

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So let's get into it. 
Lesson #1 is to fill your own 

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cup of first, and don't fill 
cups that aren't filling back 

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into yours. 
No matter what the situation is,

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no matter who it is, no matter 
what it is, always make sure to 

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fill your own cup first. 
Then once your cup is full, let 

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that overflow go into other 
people's cups. 

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Because you can't fill up other 
people's cups unless you 

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yourself are full. 
And imagine you're giving to 

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other people when you are 
already empty. 

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You're basically at 0 and you 
are forcing yourself to go to 

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the negatives and that's never 
ever healthy for anyone. 

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That is what is going to cause 
you to burn out. 

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And that isn't like the last 
thing that we want because 

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getting back from that is the 
hardest thing and it takes a lot

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of time. 
So pour into yourself 1st and 

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then let that overflow. 
Pour inside other people. 

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And secondly, don't pour inside 
Cubs that are not pouring into 

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yours. 
I don't care if it's friends, I 

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don't care if it's family. 
I don't care who it is. 

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Just don't do it because imagine
you're always the one that is 

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initiating things. 
You're always the one that is 

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helping someone out and they 
never return that ever. 

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And I understand that sometimes 
in life you're going to have 

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relationships where that is the 
case, but you're not doing it 

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for, you know, for a friend or 
for a family member. 

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It's for someone that's in need 
and in cases like that, it's 

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completely OK. 
I'm talking more about things 

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like friends and family and 
people that are supposed to be 

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there for you. 
If they are not there for you 

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like you are there for them, 
that isn't a relationship that 

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you should be investing in. 
I have been in so many 

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friendships where I was always 
the one that was asking, hey, 

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can we study together? 
Hey, can we hang out? 

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Do you want to do this or just 
even initiating just like 

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texting each other, you know? 
And then the 2nd that I stopped 

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putting in that energy, that 
friendship just completely died 

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because I was the one that was 
putting all that effort in to 

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continue that relationship. 
And it's like, why am I the one 

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that is constantly initiating 
things? 

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Why am I the only one putting in
any effort into this? 

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And like in other words, keeping
the friendship going because it 

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just felt extremely one sided. 
I have lost so many friendships 

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over this because when I 
realized just how important it 

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was for other people to also be 
pouring back into my cup instead

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of it just be me giving and 
giving and giving. 

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Like when is it my turn to 
receive? 

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And when you reach a place where
you are giving from basically an

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empty cup, you are really, 
really hurting yourself. 

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And take it from me because 
there have been so many times 

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where I have genuinely drained 
my cup to negative like 100. 

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And I would still try to give to
other people. 

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I was growing up extremely a 
people pleaser. 

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And there was this one time 
where I ended up literally 

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burning myself out so much to 
the point where I had acne like 

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all over my face. 
I've never broken out like that 

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in my whole entire life. 
Like I literally just kept on 

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giving and giving and giving to 
everyone besides myself and it 

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took I think almost a year to 
come back from that point. 

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I just felt so sad and depressed
and just burnt out from 

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everything and it's a mistake 
that I will never ever be making

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ever again because my happiness 
is my priority. 

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And if I'm giving myself out to 
everyone but myself, when am I 

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ever going to get to myself? 
Everyone has themselves, they're

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grown, they got themselves. 
If I do not have myself at the 

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moment, I'm not going to let 
anyone else feel bad for me not 

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being there for them. 
And it's like even still you try

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like imagine you're burnt out 
and your friends asking you for 

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advice and telling you something
that they're going through. 

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I have been in this situation a 
lot where it's like my brain 

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can't even like bring a proper 
response. 

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Like I'll sit there and I'll 
like, you know, try to help 

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them, but it's like I'll let 
them know, hey, I'm feeling like

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this. 
I'm kind of burnt out. 

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Like my mind just can't handle 
this right now. 

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It's not even going to help them
at the end of the day. 

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If I am giving them something 
from a place where I don't even 

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have anything, it's not going to
be constructive. 

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It's not going to be anything 
good. 

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So it's OK to take a step back 
and tell someone, hey, I'm not 

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feeling like up to this right 
now. 

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I'm feeling very burnt out. 
I need a few days or you know, 

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maybe a few hours come back to 
me later. 

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Like saying that is completely 
OK and don't feel bad for it #2 

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And this is a very big one. 
It's OK to say no. 

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Again, I used to be an extreme 
people pleaser. 

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So you're gonna see, I guess, a 
pattern in these 20 lessons 

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because a lot of these are 
lessons I learned while coming 

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out of that shell and not 
becoming a people pleaser and 

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just letting people talk to me 
any type of way or treat me any 

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kind of way, or like just 
overcompensating. 

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But yeah, saying no is perfectly
OK. 

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And again, I learned this the 
hard way. 

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Like every single other lesson 
in this video. 

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If someone asked me for help on 
something, if someone asked me 

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to hang out, if someone 
literally like last minute asked

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me to do something and I had to 
compromise something on my end 

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to help them, I would say yes. 
I would not say no. 

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A lot of that came from thinking
that saying no was being mean 

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and saying yes meant that I was 
being nice and I could not have 

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been more wrong. 
Because a lot of the time saying

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yes is a disservice to myself. 
A lot of the time saying yes is 

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just over crossing my own 
boundaries for myself. 

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Being a nice or being a kind 
person isn't about saying yes 

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all the time. 
You can be that while having 

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boundaries, because if you do 
that, if you are nice and you 

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don't have any boundaries, 
that's how you end up being a 

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doormat. 
You're literally letting people 

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walk all over you to get what 
they want regardless of what it 

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is that you want. 
Saying no whenever you don't 

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want to do something or whenever
you can't, it's completely OK. 

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Like you can literally say no. 
Just because you feel like it. 

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You know, like that doesn't make
you a mean person. 

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It just means that you are 
someone that has boundaries and 

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that's completely OK. 
That means that you're 

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respecting yourself. 
Saying no doesn't mean that 

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you're a selfish person. 
Saying no does not mean that you

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don't like the person. 
Saying no literally does not 

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mean anything bad. 
It literally just means that you

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would can't or you don't want 
to. 

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And that is completely, 100% OK.
People will live. 

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They will find somebody else. 
Like for example, if they need 

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help with something, I can't do 
it right now. 

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I'm busy, they'll find someone 
else. 

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If they want to hang out and 
you're just feeling drained, you

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just want to stay in bed, you 
want to go out, they'll find 

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somebody else. 
I promise you, they're grown. 

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They will find someone else to 
help them if they generally need

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help. 
And if they don't need help, 

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they can do it themselves. 
It really is not the end of the 

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world. 
Like, I would literally think 

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like that. 
Like, Oh my God, I can't help 

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them right now. 
Like, what are they going to do?

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They can do it themselves. 
They are completely capable 

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human beings just like you and I
are. 

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If I can do something, I promise
you they can't. 

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And it's one of the things that 
were really hard to do starting 

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off. 
But as time went on, it became 

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easier because it became more of
a habit of respecting my own 

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self and respecting my own time.
I only have so much time to 

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give. 
I only have so much time to 

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focus on things that I want to 
work on and things that I want 

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to do and if something is 
overlapping into something that 

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I need. 
To do for myself. 

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I'm compromising that, you know,
and a lot of the time that's not

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something that I would want to 
do, and I would still compromise

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it. 
And now that I don't, I have so 

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much more time to myself to 
generally just focus on my own 

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projects and to focus on my own 
well-being. 

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And there's literally no guilt 
that I feel #3 the only ones 

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that are truly always there for 
you are yourself and God. 

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Nobody is coming to save you. 
And yes, I know this is a hard 

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pill to swallow, but it's true. 
Nobody is going to magically 

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come into your life and fix it. 
You can't heal yourself. 

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You can't change your life, you 
can't change your circumstances.

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You can't literally change 
everything about you internally 

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and externally through somebody 
else. 

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You just can't. 
That has to come from you. 

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You're not going to randomly 
find a man one day that's going 

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to completely change your life, 
that's going to heal all of your

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childhood traumas, that's going 
to, you know, give you all the 

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money that you need and it's 
going to set you up for the rest

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of your life. 
Like, yes, maybe that's going to

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get you so far to change some of
the external things, but it's 

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not going to change what's in 
here and it's not going to 

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change what you're feeling in 
here. 

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No mentor can help you if you 
don't want to help yourself 

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first. 
If you don't have that 

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discipline and the drive to 
actually be consistent and work 

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towards it. 
No amount of talking to friends 

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and venting about a situation is
going to help you get over it if

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you don't actively work on 
yourself to get over a 

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situation. 
You know? 

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Like yes, these people exist and
they can support you in certain 

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ways, but overall they cannot 
help you fully. 

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The only people that can do that
are you and Allah that like that

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internal healing that you need 
to do that is completely on you.

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Yes, a therapist can help you 
along that journey. 

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Yes fencing to your friends can 
help you along that journey. 

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But at the end of the day, that 
is completely on you. 

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That discipline that you want to
build, Yeah, that's completely 

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on you. 
Yes, you can have a friend to 

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help motivate you and keep you 
consistent and accountable. 

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But at the end of the day, 
again, it's on you being 

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emotionally intelligent and 
maturing and self growth, That 

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is completely on you. 
Like, again, yes, you can get 

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help from other people, but at 
the end of the day, it's all on 

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you. 
And when you don't have anyone 

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else around you, the only people
that you're gonna have on that 

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journey is yourself and God. 
And it doesn't matter how scary 

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it feels, it doesn't matter how 
messy it gets. 

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It does not matter literally 
anything because life is gonna 

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keep on going. 
The world is gonna keep on 

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spinning. 
And if you choose to stay in the

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same place, the only one being 
affected by that is you. 

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And that's something that I had 
to learn the hard way earlier in

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high school. 
I would literally just stop. 

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If it got hard. 
I would just stop and nobody was

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going to come and save me. 
I didn't really like event to 

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people. 
I didn't really have a lot of 

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friends around that time. 
I would literally just be 

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depressed in my room. 
And I realized that nobody was 

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going to come and help me. 
I was going to have to do that 

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for myself. 
The responsibility of building 

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myself into the woman that I 
want to become and the 

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responsibility to build the life
for myself that I want to have 

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is completely on me, and it's on
nobody. 

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Else to do that. 
For me, and even then, let's 

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just say like throughout 
everything, I have so many 

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friends, so many mentors, like 
just a huge supporting village 

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behind me. 
Even then, nobody is going to 

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have your back like God does. 
When I was possibly in my most 

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darkest like moments in my life,
I would say that I felt very far

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from God. 
And even in those moments where 

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I felt very far from him, I 
still felt his presence. 

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I still felt that he was there. 
Like, The thing is, I wasn't 

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doing anything to get closer to 
him. 

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I wasn't, you know, trying, but 
I still felt him and His 

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presence. 
And, you know, I knew that He 

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was going to be there for me. 
Like I was completely alone, 

233
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physically, nobody else was 
there for me. 

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But emotionally, like 
spiritually, I could feel that 

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there was someone there for me. 
I could feel God's presence in 

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my life. 
And I think it was in that 

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moment when I realized just how 
deep His love for me when and 

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it's kind of like an emotional 
topic because there have been a 

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lot of times when I have 
rejected God. 

240
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There have been a lot of times 
where I've questioned him and 

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not to expose my sins or 
anything. 

242
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This is like. 
It's. 

243
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Purely for educational purposes,
but you know, like my Iman was 

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just extremely low. 
It was extremely, extremely low.

245
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And the fact that even in those 
moments, He was still there for 

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me because it was never him that
rejected me. 

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It was me that decided to go far
from God. 

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Regardless of how many sins I 
had committed, regardless of how

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far I went, regardless of how 
much I questioned Him, at the 

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end of the day, I could still 
feel that pull in my heart. 

251
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I could still feel His presence 
in my life. 

252
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And I know I've been repeating 
that over and over, but 

253
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genuinely like he has been there
since day one and He's the only 

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00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,800
person that's going to stay with
you till the end. 

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God tells us that if we take one
step towards Him, He's going to 

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take 10. 
Steps towards us. 

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And that's just how big His love
for us is. 

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It doesn't matter how much we 
do, He is always going to be 

259
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there for you. 
He is always, 100% always going 

260
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to be there for you. 
It's just up to you to go to 

261
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Him. 
That's all that you need to do. 

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And actually, God puts us in 
these places sometimes to 

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realize that you really don't 
need anyone but him, that you 

264
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don't need to rely on people. 
You don't need to rely on your 

265
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,680
friends. 
You don't really need to rely on

266
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your family. 
You, you got God, You know, like

267
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when you got God, you generally 
don't need nobody else. 

268
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The amount of times God has 
single handedly pulled. 

269
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Me out of places that I. 
Have not told a single soul that

270
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I was in at the time. 
Looking back and reflecting on 

271
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all of that is genuinely crazy 
because I didn't know how I was 

272
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,160
going to make. 
It out of that. 

273
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Situation, I didn't know if life
was going to get better from 

274
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:38,400
that and it did because God 
helps me. 

275
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God was there for me. 
Like I will find myself now 

276
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sometimes just talking to God, 
you know, like thanking him for 

277
00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:49,880
the life that I have, thanking 
Him for, you know, putting me on

278
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this path that He has put me on.
I wouldn't be here without him. 

279
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I would not be here without his 
love, without his mercy, without

280
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:00,280
his Rahma, without his 
forgiveness. 

281
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Like I am so blessed because I 
have. 

282
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:08,079
God in my life and that mindset 
of being. 

283
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:12,319
So grateful for that has helped.
Me overcome so much and 

284
00:17:12,839 --> 00:17:16,880
especially loneliness, like I 
feel like a lot of the time when

285
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:20,480
I don't have a lot of people 
around me or I feel like there 

286
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,599
are a lot of people around me 
that I can relate to or I can 

287
00:17:23,599 --> 00:17:26,560
actually talk to about things. 
God is always there. 

288
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:29,240
Number 4. 
The hard part isn't getting 

289
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,160
started. 
It's staying consistent. 

290
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:37,200
I have started so many projects 
and just things that I have not 

291
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:40,960
seen through, Like for example, 
this podcast I started, I want 

292
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:47,520
to say 2021-2022. 
And then I was consistent with 

293
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:49,320
it for a minute and then I just 
stopped. 

294
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:55,280
And I think the last time I 
posted was a year ago and here I

295
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,800
am making another one. 
Yeah, I can say that with a lot 

296
00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,760
of things in my life, when I was
drafting different lessons that 

297
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:06,040
I would add into this video, I 
was like, damn, like there 

298
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:09,320
really are just a lot of things 
that I have started and just 

299
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:12,320
never really saw through. 
And it's something that I am 

300
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:16,200
currently working on because 
staying consistent in your goal 

301
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:20,040
is genuinely the hardest part. 
Like you can start, you can do 

302
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,840
it for two days, you can do it 
for a week, you can do it for 

303
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:26,040
maybe even a month with 
motivation. 

304
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:30,080
But the hard part is going on 
with that for a long time to 

305
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:33,800
build that habit and make it a 
part of your life and actually 

306
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:37,960
see that through to success. 
See that through to success. 

307
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:46,440
And that's because you need 
motivate, and that's because you

308
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:49,440
need discipline. 
You don't move, and that's 

309
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,560
because you need discipline. 
You don't use motivation for 

310
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:54,920
things like that. 
Yeah, you can use motivation 

311
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:58,200
with discipline, but you can 
never use motivation alone. 

312
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:01,880
And I realized that I was using 
just motivation sometimes. 

313
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:05,520
And that is why I just stopped 
doing a lot of things. 

314
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,840
I needed to build that 
discipline, like even self 

315
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:11,040
improvement things like going to
the gym. 

316
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,200
A lot of the times I would 
start, go for a week, and then 

317
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,720
yeah, I would not step into that
gym again. 

318
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:20,560
Like it's just something that 
has always been very hard for 

319
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,600
me. 
And that's actually my goal 

320
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:27,480
right now, to be extremely 
consistent with the things that 

321
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:32,760
I do #5 sometimes you have to 
make decisions that break your 

322
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:35,560
heart right now in order to 
protect your future, whether 

323
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,760
that be your peace, your 
physical health, your mental 

324
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,560
health. 
You're going to have to make 

325
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:44,440
decisions sometimes where you're
going to have to give up things 

326
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,360
right now that you really don't 
want to give up. 

327
00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:50,720
Or you're going to have to make 
an extremely hard choice that is

328
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:54,720
going to hurt you in order to 
protect your peace in the 

329
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:58,760
future. 
This was a extremely hard 

330
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:02,880
lesson. 
That I had to learn and it was 

331
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:07,320
actually very recent and it was 
a lot like I was in the 

332
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:08,800
trenches. 
I'm not going to lie. 

333
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:12,440
At the same time, I am happy 
that I made that decision. 

334
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:15,120
I didn't want to have to make 
the decision that I made. 

335
00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:19,440
But I am happy because I know in
the long run, in the future, 

336
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:25,160
after I fully heal from the 
situation, I am going to be 

337
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:30,680
thankful to myself for going 
through with that because my 

338
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:33,720
life in the future would have 
just been so much harder if I 

339
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:37,600
hadn't done that thing. 
Number six, you can't let your 

340
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:42,560
parents dictate your life. 
No, I know that sounds like a 

341
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,320
lot. 
Having immigrant parents will 

342
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:49,080
have you in the state of mind 
where you need to do everything 

343
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:52,400
that they ask of you. 
And that's not healthy. 

344
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:57,120
That's not how it should work. 
Obedience to your parents does 

345
00:20:57,120 --> 00:20:59,360
not mean that you love them, you
know? 

346
00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:01,040
It just means that you're scared
of them. 

347
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:03,880
And I feel like this is a 
mentality that a lot of 

348
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:08,720
immigrant parents have, is that 
if my child says no to me, if 

349
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,000
they don't follow me, if their 
whole entire life isn't based 

350
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,720
off what I want for them, then 
they don't love me, then they 

351
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:15,600
don't. 
Respect me and it's. 

352
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:19,160
That's not how that works. 
And don't let them try to make 

353
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,960
you think that that is how it 
works, because it's not. 

354
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:25,920
You deserve to live a life that 
is true to yourself and you 

355
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:27,320
should be able to do the things 
that you want. 

356
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:31,920
I know a lot of what I'm saying 
may sound scary because I was 

357
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:33,040
scared. 
Before I started. 

358
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:40,640
Telling my parents no and for 
reference I literally was not 

359
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:44,360
able to go out with my friends 
or anything like the first time.

360
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:48,960
That I was able to go. 
Over to a friend's house was 

361
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:53,200
senior year of high school. 
Like I literally did not have 

362
00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:56,480
genuine friends throughout his 
school because I couldn't hang 

363
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,160
out with them after school. 
And everybody was just like 

364
00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:03,320
building stronger bonds and, you
know, just hanging out doing 

365
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:08,160
teenager stuff and I was stuck 
inside my house. 

366
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:13,120
Not able to go out. 
And that was my life growing up.

367
00:22:13,120 --> 00:22:17,960
It genuinely messed me up so 
much. 

368
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:22,920
And now that I'm in college, I'm
currently a junior, Looking back

369
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:26,880
like that genuinely affected me 
so much. 

370
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,880
It stunted a lot of my social 
skills. 

371
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,200
Like I'll handle a lot. 
I've been able. 

372
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:31,920
To grow that. 
Back. 

373
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,760
I've been able to put myself in 
situations where I've been 

374
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:40,560
forced to just be more social 
and not be extremely awkward 

375
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:44,520
like I was growing up. 
I was literally the perfect 

376
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,240
child. 
Like my parents would tell me me

377
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:49,280
to do something and I would do 
it like I wouldn't question it 

378
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,960
and it still wasn't enough. 
At the end of the day, you're 

379
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:57,000
going to be asked of for more 
and more and more. 

380
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,320
There's going to be a point 
where you have to put your foot 

381
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:04,280
down and say no because your 
life is yours to live. 

382
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:09,000
You are the one that is going to
live the consequences of your 

383
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,560
actions. 
At the end of the day, it's not 

384
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,440
your parents that are going to 
be living that career. 

385
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:15,880
It's not your parents that are 
going to be living the person 

386
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,800
that you're going to marry, you 
know, like these are things that

387
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:20,880
you're going to have to go 
through and they should be 

388
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:24,160
decisions that you're OK with. 
It's OK to want their 

389
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:27,000
validation. 
It's OK to want your parents to 

390
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:30,200
think good of you, but you 
shouldn't want that at the cost 

391
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,160
of your own peace. 
Sometimes you're just going to 

392
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:36,000
have to make decisions and be 
like, I'm OK with them saying 

393
00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:39,840
that I'm a disappointment for 
making this decision or for them

394
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,440
being upset with me for making 
this decision. 

395
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:45,640
Sometimes the things that 
they're upset at you about are 

396
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:48,760
so small that it shouldn't even 
really matter. 

397
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,600
And here I'm not trying to like 
push you to make stupid 

398
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,200
decisions because that's not 
what this is about. 

399
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,280
Like let's just say your parents
want you to marry a certain 

400
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,160
person and you don't want that 
person for. 

401
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:02,960
Yourself like. 
That is 100% a situation where 

402
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,480
you should put your foot down 
and say no, regardless of what 

403
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:07,920
it is that they're going to say 
to you or how they're going to 

404
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:10,360
treat you after that. 
And I know there's a lot of 

405
00:24:10,360 --> 00:24:13,040
guilt that comes with that, and 
they may not understand it right

406
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:17,640
now, but when they see you 
genuinely happy and thriving and

407
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:20,760
successful, they are going to be
proud of the person that you 

408
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:24,280
became #7 Allah will always give
you better. 

409
00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:27,360
It doesn't matter how many 
things you have to leave behind.

410
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:30,040
It doesn't matter how much 
you've done. 

411
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,320
It doesn't matter how far you've
gotten from him. 

412
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:36,880
God will always give you better.
Like, I promise you that God 

413
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:39,000
will give you better. 
There have been so many 

414
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,720
situations where I have 
genuinely thought, yeah. 

415
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:43,880
This is it. 
I'm never going to get higher 

416
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:46,840
than this point or like what 
have I done? 

417
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:52,520
God has just continuously proven
to me that He will always be 

418
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:56,120
there for me and He will always 
give me better than what I've 

419
00:24:56,120 --> 00:25:00,160
gotten. 
I will always rise higher and 

420
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:02,440
higher because God will always 
give me better. 

421
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:07,760
That is my mindset and I believe
it 101,000% because I know for a

422
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,600
fact that He will. 
I've seen it with my own eyes, 

423
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:14,360
I've seen it in my life, and 
I've seen it in my friends and 

424
00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:16,840
my parents. 
Life is full of so many things 

425
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,680
and one of those things is God's
graciousness. 

426
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:23,680
He will always give. 
He will always be gracious 

427
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:28,000
towards you, even if you've hit 
rock and you don't know if 

428
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:32,360
you're going to make it back up.
Have faith in Allah because He 

429
00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:35,760
will help you get back up and 
He'll help you get back up a 

430
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:37,760
million times better than it was
last time. 

431
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:39,960
He will help you rebuild 
yourself. 

432
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:43,280
He will help you become the 
woman that you want to become. 

433
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:46,000
He will help you literally do 
anything and everything. 

434
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:49,800
All you got to do is ask. 
Literally all you have to do is 

435
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:54,600
go to your prayer mat and ask 
Allah and be genuine about it in

436
00:25:54,600 --> 00:26:00,120
your heart because God what sees
through all of us and he will 

437
00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:03,760
put you in places that you would
never even dreamed about being 

438
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,440
and He will open doors for you 
that you didn't even know 

439
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:07,800
existed. 
God has a way. 

440
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:12,040
Of making these things happen #8
your reality starts within your 

441
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:16,000
mind, your perception of reality
is 100% up to you. 

442
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:21,560
I don't think you guys genuinely
understand the level of power 

443
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:25,280
that your mind has. 
The person that you are, the 

444
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:31,040
things that are around you, they
are completely in your minds. 

445
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:35,560
Like it's everything is dictated
by your perception of life. 

446
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:41,120
If you see something as 
positive, it will be positive. 

447
00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:43,560
If you see something as 
negative, it will be negative. 

448
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:47,720
Like you can literally like 
they're like, why do you think 

449
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:52,160
everyone has different opinions 
or they're just, or everyone has

450
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,480
their own different version of 
reality? 

451
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:59,280
It's because the mindset that 
they have is completely 

452
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:02,560
different to yours and the 
mindset that I have could be 

453
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,320
completely. 
Different to somebody else. 

454
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:08,040
'S meaning you could have 
completely different mindsets as

455
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:10,280
well. 
Like everyone's reality is 

456
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:15,560
different based off how they see
reality based off of like your 

457
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:20,640
mindset off of how you perceive 
things and you can literally 

458
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:25,600
hack into that to help you get 
what you want from your own 

459
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:29,320
self. 
For example, you can just be a 

460
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:32,520
very argumentative person and 
every. 

461
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,600
Single time, someone says. 
Something you take it as an 

462
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:39,200
attack on yourself, you know, 
and then you just start arguing 

463
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,120
with them over it. 
Or you can. 

464
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,000
Take it at. 
Face value, be very calm about 

465
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:48,840
it and move on. 
Those are two very different 

466
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:52,360
reactions to the same situation.
If you want to change your 

467
00:27:52,360 --> 00:27:55,480
physical reality, the first 
thing that you need to work on 

468
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,640
is changing the reality within 
your head because that is going 

469
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,520
to translate. 
So for example, let's just say 

470
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:03,640
you want to get closer to God, 
right? 

471
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:08,800
That is your goal. 
The first thing that you do 

472
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:13,600
isn't go about changing the 
people that you hang out with 

473
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:17,440
your surrounding, although that 
is very helpful. 

474
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:21,360
That's not what you do because 
let's say you do start hanging 

475
00:28:21,360 --> 00:28:24,280
out with people that are more 
religious, but you're not on the

476
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,640
same way front system. 
You know your mindset isn't 

477
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:29,240
there yet and you don't really 
enjoy the conversations that 

478
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:32,960
I'll be having and you go back 
to your old friend group or the 

479
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:34,840
old people that you stay and got
with. 

480
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:37,720
On a regular. 
Day basis, you know like you 

481
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:40,480
need to put yourself into that 
mindset. 

482
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:44,880
You need to get closer to God. 
You need to read Quran more and 

483
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:47,880
really understand who he is. 
Go to the mosque more. 

484
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:52,360
You start focusing more on the 
Islamic morals and values and 

485
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:55,800
principles and putting that 
within yourself so that your 

486
00:28:55,800 --> 00:29:02,320
perception of reality is more 
focus on how Islam focuses on 

487
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:04,120
it. 
And with that, slowly your 

488
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:07,280
outward reality is going to 
mirror that. 

489
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:10,800
And this is just one example. 
You can literally put this on 

490
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,880
anything. 
And on top of that, the power of

491
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:17,800
your words to shape your reality
because that is also a very 

492
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:20,880
important aspect. 
You can literally speak things 

493
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:26,840
in existence, like the power of 
what you say to manifest things 

494
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:28,920
into your life is extremely 
overlooked. 

495
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,600
And obviously when I say 
manifest, I mean in like a 

496
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:36,000
Islamic perspective of 
manifesting from God. 

497
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:40,120
And like obviously all things 
come through all this. 

498
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:43,840
We can't have anything without 
him and his blessing. 

499
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:48,480
Literally just don't be afraid 
to put what you want out there. 

500
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,560
Speak it into existence. 
You know, tell yourself, look at

501
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:54,640
yourself in the mirror and tell 
yourself that you have of it, 

502
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:56,960
that you're going to have it, 
that you are going to live the 

503
00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:01,320
lifestyle that you are going to 
achieve your goal and you will 

504
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,800
like watch yourself do it. 
For example, let's just say that

505
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:07,000
you want to become a content 
creator, right? 

506
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:11,520
I am a content creator. 
I will be a content creator. 

507
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:17,560
I am going to have 10,000 
followers, 20,000 followers. 

508
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:22,280
Like speak it into existence 
because you're tuning your mind 

509
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:27,240
into a state where you already 
have what you want, so you're 

510
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:30,040
going to work even harder to 
reach your goals and you're 

511
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:33,520
going to live that life because 
in your mind you're already 

512
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:35,760
there. 
The way that you speak about 

513
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:41,120
your life also becomes the 
standard that your mind will try

514
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:45,800
to even like casual self talk 
that generally matters a lot. 

515
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:51,320
Like self degrading jokes like 
saying like oh I'm. 

516
00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:54,880
Not I'm not pretty. 
Things like that. 

517
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:57,080
Like it literally adds up 
because. 

518
00:30:57,440 --> 00:30:59,640
Even if you don't. 
Realize it subconsciously. 

519
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:03,120
You're going to start believing 
it and it's going to make you 

520
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:05,240
insecure. 
It's going to make you not as 

521
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:09,400
confident within yourself. 
You can't plant these negative 

522
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:13,600
thoughts about you within 
yourself and expect to grow from

523
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:15,840
it. 
You're just not like if you 

524
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:20,480
constantly tell yourself I'm 
ugly, I'm not pretty enough. 

525
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:27,840
I am not enough to be able to 
reach this or like just things 

526
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:30,880
like that. 
Like, stop doing that because 

527
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:35,680
you are going to believe what 
you're telling yourself. 

528
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:38,760
And I did this for a really long
time now. 

529
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:42,800
You will not hear me saying 
anything like that. 

530
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:46,000
Like you talk to any of my 
friends, I promise you they will

531
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:51,000
be like, yeah, she's egotistical
as Frick because I am never 

532
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:52,840
going to speak down on myself 
ever again. 

533
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:56,560
I did that for so long and it 
just made me an extremely 

534
00:31:56,560 --> 00:32:00,040
insecure person. 
And the second that I stopped, 

535
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,480
the 2nd that I genuinely started
looking at myself and saying 

536
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:07,000
yeah I'm beautiful, yeah I am 
more than enough is when the 

537
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:09,440
game changed. 
I am never going to let me or 

538
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:13,200
anyone else talk to myself like 
that again because I deserve 

539
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:16,280
more respect #9 Don't put men 
before yourself. 

540
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:23,720
I am a lover girl down and when 
I say this like literally I am 

541
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:27,480
such a lover girl and one of my 
bigger lessons that I've learned

542
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:31,640
is to never put a man above 
yourself. 

543
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:37,760
No man deserves that First off 
and secondly, you are yours 

544
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:40,840
before you are anybody else's. 
Don't let yourself get too 

545
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:45,440
attached. 
Don't let yourself let someone 

546
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:50,440
control you or treat you like 
you're there is to do whatever 

547
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,880
you want for them. 
You are your own person. 

548
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:56,440
What one man isn't willing to do
for you, I promise you there are

549
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:58,600
100 out there that are willing 
to do. 

550
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:02,120
That and more. 
I feel like a lot of women, 

551
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:06,920
including myself in the past 
have accepted the bare minimum 

552
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:08,920
because that's what we believed 
we were right. 

553
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:14,760
And that's just not how it is 
like there are so many men out 

554
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:17,160
there. 
Build yourself up to a point 

555
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:20,920
where you deserve. 
I guess I don't like using this 

556
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:25,160
word, but high value. 
Build yourself to be a high 

557
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:28,960
value woman and you will find 
yourself a high value man if you

558
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,360
are constantly looking for 
someone. 

559
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:33,240
If you're constantly looking for
love. 

560
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:35,880
And you weren't even working on.
Yourself, you're going to find 

561
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:39,840
someone that's subpar. 
Like lower than that, you know, 

562
00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:47,120
like you attract what you are. 
You attract mediocracy if what 

563
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:48,720
you're looking for is 
mediocracy. 

564
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,080
If you're literally letting 
anyone, anything in your life 

565
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:55,880
because you are so desperate for
love, you're going to get that. 

566
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,680
You're not going to get someone 
that treats you like the queen 

567
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:04,360
that you are if you're literally
letting anyone into your life 

568
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:06,000
and you're just talking to any 
guy. 

569
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:10,400
Don't do that sweetheart. 
You are meant for so much more. 

570
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:17,679
You are going to get a man that 
treats you like he genuinely 

571
00:34:17,679 --> 00:34:21,639
loves you. 
The older that I get, the less 

572
00:34:21,639 --> 00:34:23,920
important I feel like I. 
Put on men. 

573
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:28,159
Because I have genuinely. 
Realized it's nice to have 

574
00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:31,440
someone in my. 
Life but it's not a necessity 

575
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:34,600
and also on top of that, Haram 
relationships are just not worth

576
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:36,960
it. 
Like they really are not. 

577
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:43,360
If a man isn't willing to have 
yours and actually make it 

578
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:45,880
official, then he's not worth 
it. 

579
00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:49,520
He is not worth putting into 
your life and putting effort and

580
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:53,639
time and all of those things. 
Obviously time constraints and 

581
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:57,000
you know if y'all don't want to 
get married at the moment 

582
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,600
waiting and stuff, that's a very
valid reason. 

583
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:03,280
But if he wants a harm 
relationship, he that's just not

584
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:06,320
worth it. 
He has shown you what he wants 

585
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,680
and it's not a genuine 
relationship with you and it's 

586
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:13,560
not to follow God's rulings. 
This has just turned into a 

587
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:15,600
whole point about all my 
opinions on men. 

588
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:20,880
So I guess that's that. 
Don't let them tell you who or 

589
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:25,240
what you are because you know 
who you are and who don't know 

590
00:35:25,240 --> 00:35:26,640
who you are. 
Don't get into a relationship 

591
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:30,280
because you need to focus on 
yourself and finding yourself 

592
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:32,800
first. 
That is your priority. 

593
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:38,200
Men coming later and I promise 
you there are more than enough 

594
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,560
to go around. 
Don't put yourself on the mind 

595
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:43,480
to like oh I need to get married
right now or oh I need to be in 

596
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:46,560
a relationship right now. 
You don't build yourself up to a

597
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:50,880
point that you want to be at, 
and a man will come in and match

598
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:54,760
that exactly, if not more #10 
What other people think about 

599
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:57,600
you does not matter. 
Your fear of what other people 

600
00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:00,680
are going to say about you, of 
what they think about you, is 

601
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:03,400
genuinely holding you back so 
much. 

602
00:36:03,720 --> 00:36:08,120
It genuinely does not matter 
what they think about you. 

603
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:10,600
Are they in your shoes? 
No. 

604
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:13,200
Are they living your life? 
Are they living the consequences

605
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:14,680
of your actions? 
No. 

606
00:36:14,720 --> 00:36:17,400
Let's just say that you want to 
start making content, right? 

607
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:22,600
And you start making videos. 
People from your school find 

608
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:27,880
out, and they laugh at you, they
joke about it. 

609
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:30,920
And you have two decisions here,
right? 

610
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:34,240
One, you stop making content. 
Or two, you don't care and you 

611
00:36:34,240 --> 00:36:36,520
keep going. 
Let's just say you stop, right? 

612
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:39,920
Let's see you in six months from
that point. 

613
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:42,720
You're literally in the same 
exact place. 

614
00:36:42,720 --> 00:36:46,440
You haven't worked towards your 
goal of consecration because you

615
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:51,240
let other people and what they 
think about you dictate what you

616
00:36:51,240 --> 00:36:53,440
are going to do with your life. 
You're literally in the same 

617
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:58,080
exact place. 
And that joke about what you 

618
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:02,160
were doing with consecration is,
you know, they still tease you 

619
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:04,240
about it. 
That's that. 

620
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:08,840
Then you have option 2 where 
it's like you didn't care and 

621
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:12,680
six months go by, let's just say
you gained 5060 thousand 

622
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:15,920
followers, right? 
You're still being content. 

623
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:22,760
You're going, you got PR deals 
and now what are they going to 

624
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:23,680
do? 
Laugh. 

625
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:26,200
Oh my God, you have 6000 
followers. 

626
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,880
Oh my God, you got a brand 
partnership with this brand. 

627
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:33,080
Like if someone is laughing at 
you for genuinely trying in life

628
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:38,360
and for genuinely just going out
there and working for whatever 

629
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:41,400
it is that you want, they're 
coming from a place of 

630
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:44,600
insecurity and you just 
shouldn't care. 

631
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:48,680
In either situation, the one 
person that was genuinely 

632
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:53,200
affected by your action of 
deciding to care or not care 

633
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,560
about what other people think 
about you is you. 

634
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:58,640
Like, you're only going to be 
affected by this. 

635
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:02,480
If you want something for 
yourself, don't be afraid to be 

636
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:06,920
seen trying to achieve it. 
Do not be afraid to be seen. 

637
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:11,960
Just trying in general. 
I don't know when trying became 

638
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:15,880
cringy, I don't really follow 
with it. 

639
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:19,200
The people that are there for 
you when you start that are 

640
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:21,840
going to support you. 
Listen to them, you know? 

641
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:24,640
Don't listen to the people that 
are going to try to stop you 

642
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:27,000
from doing whatever it is that 
you want because they don't care

643
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,520
about you. 
The people that support you do. 

644
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:32,960
When I was starting out with 
content creation, I remember on 

645
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:37,920
my Instagram, I had someone that
I thought was a friend literally

646
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:41,640
comment this one thing and I'm 
not going to say what it was, 

647
00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:45,120
but it was like really hurtful. 
It's been a few years. 

648
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:47,120
They still follow me whenever I 
see them. 

649
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:50,920
Like I remember this was last 
year. 

650
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:55,640
They literally asked me, Oh my 
God, how did you like get to 

651
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:57,440
this point? 
Like help me out. 

652
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:02,000
Weren't you like hating on me 
when I was starting out? 

653
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,200
Someone will always have 
something to say about you 

654
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:08,360
regardless of what it is that 
you're doing, so do what you 

655
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:10,280
are. 
Like, that's just literally my 

656
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,240
mindset. 
I could not care less about what

657
00:39:13,240 --> 00:39:15,600
other people think about me 
because I know I'm being 

658
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:18,320
authentic to myself when it 
comes to anything. 

659
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:20,960
Like I want to do something, I'm
going to go do it. 

660
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:26,000
And if you think I'm cringy for 
it, if you think that I'm corny,

661
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,920
that you're going to laugh at me
about it, go ahead. 

662
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:36,480
I am actually trying and I don't
care to be seen failing at that.

663
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:39,640
I don't care to be seen at the 
start of it not being 

664
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:41,920
successful. 
Because when I am successful, 

665
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:44,920
which I know I am because I am 
going to work hard enough to be 

666
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:46,720
successful, you're not going to 
be laughing. 

667
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:49,560
And if you are laughing, then 
let's look at the place in life 

668
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:53,560
that you're at #11 self pity is 
not doing you anything. 

669
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:58,120
I would say in middle school I 
would just give myself a lot of 

670
00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:02,040
self pity. 
I did not need to be doing all 

671
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:04,480
that. 
It literally put me in. 

672
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:09,680
A deeper place of like, darkness
and sadness than I was already 

673
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:12,040
in. 
And it was just fortifying in my

674
00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:16,920
mind that the place that I was 
in was just such a bad and 

675
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:21,040
horrible place. 
And like, Oh my God, like, I 

676
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:22,800
feel so bad for myself. 
What? 

677
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:28,240
Like, what are we doing? 
Why am I sitting here thinking 

678
00:40:28,240 --> 00:40:32,960
about like, Oh my God, this 
happened to me and life is so 

679
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:37,560
hard and I went through this and
this happened and all my friends

680
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,840
stopped talking to me. 
Like, are we being for real 

681
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:42,840
right now? 
Why am I listing out all the 

682
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:47,360
reasons that I have to be sad? 
Oh, I'm just making myself more 

683
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:48,640
sad. 
Like what? 

684
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:52,040
What was the point of that? 
That was just not how I should 

685
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:56,040
have handled those situations. 
And I feel like it was a habit. 

686
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:58,760
I really did stick with me past 
middle school. 

687
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:03,440
Like every time I would be sad, 
it would just manifest like 

688
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:05,040
that. 
Like I would go back to that 

689
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:09,720
pattern of self pity and it 
would just making me more sad 

690
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:14,080
and just crying more because 
that's what I do. 

691
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:17,120
I just be crying a lot that 
there's no reason for that. 

692
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:21,520
And the only thing that self 
pity was doing for me was making

693
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:25,600
me relive the same pain that I 
had tried to heal from. 

694
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:30,040
It trapped me in a mindset that 
I was powerless over the things 

695
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:33,760
that happened to me. 
And that's like just not true. 

696
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:38,080
I have complete control over how
I react to those things. 

697
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:41,760
Like yes, I don't have control 
over how they happen to me 

698
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:44,760
because life is life. 
It's going to happen regardless.

699
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:47,480
But how I react to those things 
and how I let those things 

700
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:53,560
affect me is what I can control.
And I wasn't letting them 

701
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:58,320
control me in a good way, I was 
letting them just take over all 

702
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:04,000
of my emotions and my 
overthinking and it was just a 

703
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:07,160
mess. 
And yes, while feeling sad is 

704
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:10,520
OK, you know you have to feel 
your emotions in order to let 

705
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:17,600
them go and not hold on to them.
You also shouldn't make yourself

706
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:21,520
like, force yourself honestly to
relive that cycle. 

707
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:25,240
Like feel those feelings over 
and over and over and over. 

708
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:28,960
You can't move on while you're 
forcing yourself into that 

709
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,000
cycle. 
The moment that you stop using 

710
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:34,200
your pain as a form of 
punishment to yourself, because 

711
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:37,480
that's essentially what you're 
doing, you're punishing yourself

712
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:40,880
with the things that you've been
through by forcing yourself to 

713
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:44,760
relive them. 
That is when you actually see 

714
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:47,840
yourself growing. 
And another part about it is 

715
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:52,440
that I was honestly 
romanticizing the suffering that

716
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:55,000
I had gone through. 
That sounds so bad. 

717
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,240
Suffering, like just the shit 
that I've been through, you 

718
00:42:57,240 --> 00:42:59,600
know, like I wasn't trying to 
get better. 

719
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:04,520
I was just trying to feel 
something that made my pain make

720
00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:06,400
sense. 
I went through all of this. 

721
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:10,320
I. 
Didn't want it to feel like. 

722
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:12,680
I had gone through all of it for
nothing. 

723
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:17,520
And also sometimes it just felt 
more comfortable to sit in the 

724
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:22,720
pain because I was more used to 
that than actually healing and 

725
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:25,840
letting myself let go of the 
emotions. 

726
00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:27,520
Yeah, I was going through it. 
Yeah. 

727
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:30,320
I was like feeling a type of 
way. 

728
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:33,800
But I did not need to make that 
my whole entire personality. 

729
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:38,120
You can acknowledge that 
something hurt you without 

730
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:41,600
letting it define you. 
I think the most recent 

731
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:46,080
situation where this really 
showed itself, and I'm happy 

732
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:51,320
that after this I generally just
stopped like this habit because 

733
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:54,480
I realized what I was doing, the
cycle I was putting myself into.

734
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:59,920
I would say two years ago, 
almost two years ago now, I was 

735
00:43:59,920 --> 00:44:03,560
diagnosed with a chronic 
illness. 

736
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:10,920
And I'm not about to lie, that 
was such a hard point in my 

737
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:13,800
life. 
And even after that, it just 

738
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:15,560
kept on getting harder. 
And this. 

739
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:19,080
Is a very. 
Sensitive topic for me because I

740
00:44:19,240 --> 00:44:24,120
I really was going through a lot
and I would just sit in self 

741
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:26,080
pity. 
I would literally just be like, 

742
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:29,160
why me? 
Why did I have to, you know, go 

743
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:34,360
through this? 
And it stopped me from getting 

744
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:37,320
to that point of acceptance of 
like, yeah, I have this, I have 

745
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:40,760
to live with it. 
And you know, like it sucks, but

746
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:42,960
I'm OK with it because it's my 
life. 

747
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:47,320
And I'm not going to let it 
dictate what I feel and what I 

748
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:50,960
do and make me constantly, like 
every single week, cry about it 

749
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:54,400
because I'm just asking God, why
me? 

750
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:59,120
Once I stopped doing that, once 
I stopped asking those questions

751
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:06,040
and making myself feel that pity
for myself, I was able to just 

752
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:10,360
accept it. 
And move on from that number 12.

753
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:14,760
How bad you want something is 
completely different from how 

754
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:16,280
hard you're willing to work for 
it. 

755
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:17,880
There are a lot of. 
Things in life that I want. 

756
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:21,920
And if you follow me, you know, 
I'm a very ambitious person. 

757
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:23,920
There are just a lot of things 
that. 

758
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:29,040
I want and I want to accomplish 
in this short life even outside 

759
00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:34,120
of worldly things like religious
like I want to strengthen my 

760
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:36,520
faith. 
I want my Iman to be higher. 

761
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:39,520
I want a stronger relationship 
with the less upon with Allah. 

762
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:44,080
It doesn't matter what it is. 
I realized how bad I want those 

763
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:46,400
things is completely different 
from how hard I'm willing to 

764
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:48,280
work. 
And in order to get them, it 

765
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:52,440
goes back to motivation and 
discipline and consistency. 

766
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:55,600
You're not going to get 
something unless you build those

767
00:45:55,600 --> 00:46:00,320
skills of being disciplined, of 
being able to be consistent on 

768
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:03,440
your goals, regardless of how 
hard it becomes. 

769
00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:06,480
And if you're not willing to 
work hard, if you're not willing

770
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:09,160
to stay consistent, you're not 
going to be able to get to that 

771
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:11,480
place in life that you want to 
be up. 

772
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:14,560
And it's all up to you. 
You can want something, dream 

773
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:18,360
about it, and literally never 
even take a step towards 

774
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:22,040
achieving that. 
Or you can want something and 

775
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:23,960
you can. 
Work your butt off. 

776
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:27,080
And get that thing. 
It's all up to you. 

777
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:30,760
When I was in high school, I 
really wanted to become a 

778
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:32,960
content creator. 
I used to make YouTube videos 

779
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:35,680
when I was a child in 
elementary. 

780
00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:39,920
As I got older, I really wanted 
to become a content creator. 

781
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:45,520
And so I started being content. 
I would literally post so much 

782
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:48,120
on my social media. 
That. 

783
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:51,240
One day it would literally be 
like 1020 posts. 

784
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:54,480
I just started gaining because I
was working hard on it. 

785
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:56,040
I was being smart with what I 
was doing. 

786
00:46:56,040 --> 00:47:00,560
And then I wanted to become a 
podcaster because I really 

787
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:03,640
wanted to share different tips 
and tricks and just help people 

788
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:06,680
out. 
So I did that. 

789
00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:10,720
I went out and I bought a mic. 
Actually, the first few episodes

790
00:47:10,720 --> 00:47:14,280
on this are without a mic. 
I literally recorded on by 

791
00:47:14,280 --> 00:47:17,080
phone. 
I went into the quietest room in

792
00:47:17,080 --> 00:47:23,040
my house, recorded, and then I 
posted and it was only up from 

793
00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:25,680
there. 
I'm so proud of myself for that.

794
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:28,880
I also wanted to start a 
business, so I got up and I did 

795
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:30,560
that. 
Like there are just so many 

796
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:34,120
different things that I have 
done for myself that have led me

797
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:37,840
to being where I'm at today. 
I wanted to go to college. 

798
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:43,480
I wanted to get my degree, be 
independent, and you know, have 

799
00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:46,760
my own apartment. 
Here I am junior in college 

800
00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:51,760
majoring in data science, doing 
my master's as well, and I'm 

801
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:53,880
living alone in my own 
apartment. 

802
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,360
I'm literally living that 
lifestyle right now that I 

803
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:58,840
wanted a few years ago. 
It's really shown me that I can 

804
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:00,920
do whatever it is that I want to
do. 

805
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:04,960
I just have to put my mind to it
and actually be willing to put 

806
00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:07,400
in that hard work to get myself 
there. 

807
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:11,960
I just need that dedication, 
that time, that discipline and 

808
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:14,320
consistency. 
Also, I need a little spot on 

809
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:16,280
that level. 
My side, I can get whatever it 

810
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:18,240
is that I want. 
I didn't get a large following 

811
00:48:18,240 --> 00:48:20,280
overnight. 
I had to work for that. 

812
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:24,720
I didn't get a large following 
on my podcast and like get a lot

813
00:48:24,720 --> 00:48:28,240
of listeners overnight. 
That was, again, hours and hours

814
00:48:28,240 --> 00:48:32,560
and hours of dedication and work
to be able to get to that point.

815
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:37,720
Yeah, I, like Loki, fell off on 
both those things, but to get to

816
00:48:37,720 --> 00:48:42,560
that point was a long time, a 
long work in progress. 

817
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:46,040
You just need to be dedicated to
what it is that you want, and 

818
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:50,440
you'll get there #13 your 
potential is only as high as you

819
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:53,840
make it. 
Do not ever tell yourself that 

820
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:57,480
you can't do something like, oh,
this is too hard, oh this is too

821
00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:02,080
much for me, or this goal is 
unrealistic because yeah, it's 

822
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:04,520
unrealistic now because you told
yourself it is. 

823
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:08,200
Nothing is unrealistic unless 
you make it unrealistic for 

824
00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:11,320
yourself. 
The bar is only as high as you 

825
00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:13,680
make it. 
One of the lessons before was 

826
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:16,640
that your reality shapes your 
mind. 

827
00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:23,040
And this goes off of that. 
If you tell yourself that the 

828
00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:26,840
pious that you can ever get is 
to like this certain point and 

829
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:29,560
you can't get higher than that, 
you're going to believe that 

830
00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:32,120
you're never going to get higher
than that point because. 

831
00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:34,840
That's what you. 
Believe you are capable of you. 

832
00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:37,680
Don't believe you're more 
capable than that point. 

833
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:40,600
You can always do more if you 
want to do more. 

834
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:44,160
What you're doing by having this
type of mentality is you're 

835
00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:46,720
limiting yourself by saying that
you just can't. 

836
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:50,960
If you see someone else having 
the thing that you want, it's 

837
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:55,040
more than attainable. 
If they can do it, I can 100%. 

838
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:58,000
Why can't I? 
Nothing that someone else has 

839
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:01,800
done, you cannot do. 
You can 100% do it. 

840
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:05,200
They have proven to you that you
can do it. 

841
00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:08,280
So like, what's the issue? 
Let's just say you want to make 

842
00:50:08,280 --> 00:50:13,920
$10 million by the age of 25 and
you're like, you know, I don't 

843
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:15,920
think I can do this. 
This is a lot. 

844
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:17,640
I need to lower the bar a little
bit. 

845
00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:21,360
I need to be realistic, there 
are literally people that have 

846
00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:24,480
made more than that by the time 
they're 20. 

847
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:28,240
From social media, from 
Instagram and TikTok, or from 

848
00:50:28,240 --> 00:50:32,920
owning businesses. 
Whatever you think you can't do,

849
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:36,080
someone out there is doing 
exactly that and even more. 

850
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:38,120
Hope this is coming across in a 
good way. 

851
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:42,640
You are capable of so much, and 
you're only limiting yourself by

852
00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:47,040
telling yourself that you have a
bar that you can't go above 

853
00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:49,560
because that bar is only there 
because you. 

854
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:52,120
Put it there. 
In reality, there isn't really 

855
00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:55,320
anything. 
Your maximum is so much higher 

856
00:50:55,320 --> 00:50:57,400
than what you actually think it 
is. 

857
00:50:57,440 --> 00:51:03,040
Obviously everyone's mental, 
stay physical, stay the class 

858
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:06,440
that you were born into. 
Like obviously all those things,

859
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:09,440
your circumstances in life, like
they're very different and 

860
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:12,360
you're maybe going to have to 
work harder than other people to

861
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:15,720
reach a certain place. 
Maybe it's easier for you to get

862
00:51:15,720 --> 00:51:17,520
to a certain place than other 
people. 

863
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:22,040
Like it's very different. 
But I am a firm believer, 

864
00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:25,920
regardless of that, that if you 
work hard enough and if you work

865
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:28,920
smart enough, you will be able 
to reach any. 

866
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:34,560
Like nothing is too far for you 
to achieve. 14 Everyone is 

867
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:36,840
insecure about themselves in 
some way. 

868
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:40,040
Confidence isn't about ever 
doubting yourself, it's about 

869
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:41,720
not letting those doubts control
you. 

870
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:44,920
The start of me being genuinely 
confident in who I am as a 

871
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:48,720
person started when I stopped 
listening to the voices in my 

872
00:51:48,720 --> 00:51:49,800
head. 
Everyone. 

873
00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:53,680
Like when I say everyone, 
everyone has some sort of 

874
00:51:53,680 --> 00:51:57,320
insecurity about themselves. 
The only difference is that some

875
00:51:57,320 --> 00:52:00,040
people don't let that insecure 
already control themselves. 

876
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:03,040
Some people own up to it. 
Some people say, yeah, I have 

877
00:52:03,040 --> 00:52:06,520
this, but I don't care. 
I'm so beautiful regardless. 

878
00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:09,640
I'm so confident in myself, 
regardless of the fact that, you

879
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:13,160
know, I think my eye. 
Shape is ugly. 

880
00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:15,400
Or, you know, maybe they think 
their lips are too small or 

881
00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:19,200
their lips are too big, or they 
feel like their jaw is not the 

882
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:21,160
way that they want it to look, 
regardless of. 

883
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:23,840
What it is? 
That you're insecure about. 

884
00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:27,520
Let those thoughts pass through 
your head because at the end of 

885
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:30,440
the day, that's all they are. 
They're literally just thoughts 

886
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:32,800
that go into your head. 
And what you're going to do is 

887
00:52:32,800 --> 00:52:35,440
you're going to collect them, 
come out the other side, and 

888
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:37,800
you're not going to let them 
control you. 

889
00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:40,480
Because if you do let them 
control you and you do let them 

890
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:43,120
sit in your head, that's when 
you're going to become insecure.

891
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:44,920
That's when you're going to 
start believing those thoughts. 

892
00:52:44,920 --> 00:52:48,000
And that's not what we want. 
For example, me, one thing that 

893
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:53,120
I really am insecure about 
physically at least, is my hip 

894
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:55,680
dips. 
And I was talking about this to 

895
00:52:55,680 --> 00:53:01,080
my girl and she was like, girl 
where like, yeah, they're like 

896
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:05,360
there, but they're very minimal.
I didn't even really notice that

897
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:07,800
they were honestly there until 
you pointed them out. 

898
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:10,160
And it was like, are you, are 
you lying about that? 

899
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:12,960
Or am I just too hyper fixated 
on it? 

900
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:17,200
Because we look at ourselves so 
much more than other people do 

901
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:19,480
and we notice things about 
ourselves that other people 

902
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:22,000
don't to other people. 
They're not hyper fixated on 

903
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:23,280
that. 
They're not looking at that. 

904
00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:26,280
They're looking at you as a 
whole person and they're seeing 

905
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:28,440
how beautiful you are. 
There have been so many times 

906
00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:32,040
where I have been talking to 
other women and they've been 

907
00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:35,920
like, oh, I don't like this 
about myself or I'm like, girl. 

908
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:38,080
Be. 
For real right now you literally

909
00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:41,200
look gorgeous and I didn't even 
notice that until you pointed it

910
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:43,040
out. 
And I feel like we've all had 

911
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:47,560
instances like this, and what we
can take away from that is that 

912
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:51,480
it's not really as big of a deal
as we make it. 

913
00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:55,600
Being insecure about something 
is only going to make that thing

914
00:53:56,400 --> 00:54:01,240
bigger than it is, because the 
more insecure you are, the more 

915
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,720
other people are going to notice
your behavior. 

916
00:54:03,720 --> 00:54:06,680
You know? 
Like you can see the difference 

917
00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:09,800
in the behaviors of someone 
that's insecure and confident. 

918
00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:13,440
The energy that they hold is 
just two completely different 

919
00:54:13,440 --> 00:54:15,000
worlds. 
Even if the thing that you're 

920
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:18,880
insecure about is extremely 
noticeable, if you own that, the

921
00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:22,040
way you carry that is what 
changes the outcome. 

922
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:25,400
Let's just say you're shy. 
In the corner, people are going 

923
00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:29,680
to notice that if someone points
it out and you're just very 

924
00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:33,760
confident, you're like, yeah. 
And so the fact that you don't 

925
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:37,080
care is going to affect how. 
People treat you. 

926
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:40,440
In that thing, that's when 
there's a whole different energy

927
00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:43,400
shift in that. 
So more of the story. 

928
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:46,440
Be confident regardless of 
whatever it is that you're 

929
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:50,560
insecure about, because whatever
doubts you've got, at the end of

930
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:54,520
the day, they're just thoughts. 
Don't let it control you #15 

931
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:57,240
everyone enters your life for a 
different reason. 

932
00:54:57,320 --> 00:55:00,120
Not everyone comes into your 
life to stay for the whole 

933
00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:02,560
entire thing. 
Sometimes God sends someone to 

934
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:05,160
be a lesson to you. 
Sometimes God sends people into 

935
00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:07,560
your life to stay for a few 
chapters. 

936
00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:11,240
Sometimes God sends people to 
stay in your life for maybe half

937
00:55:11,240 --> 00:55:13,240
a chapter. 
Every single person has a 

938
00:55:13,240 --> 00:55:17,200
different timeline and purpose 
in your life. 

939
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:19,280
It's OK that they don't stay for
the whole thing. 

940
00:55:19,280 --> 00:55:24,400
Sometimes people are meant to be
lessons to you to help you stop 

941
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:29,000
doing something or to help you 
start doing something to inspire

942
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:32,200
you. 
Maybe you're like me and or like

943
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:35,920
how I used to be a people 
pleaser and you just let people 

944
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:40,840
walk all over you and you give 
out more than you receive and 

945
00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:45,400
someone comes into your life 
that teaches you to never do 

946
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:48,080
that again because of how 
harmful it is to you. 

947
00:55:48,160 --> 00:55:52,040
Like, yeah, that lesson may hurt
and maybe you wanted that person

948
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:55,760
to stay in your life even, but 
you had to realize that you had 

949
00:55:55,760 --> 00:55:59,320
to choose yourself because at 
the end of the day, that person 

950
00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:02,360
does not matter. 
At the end of the day, you are 

951
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:05,080
what matters to you. 
Maybe God sent someone into your

952
00:56:05,080 --> 00:56:09,800
life to be an uplifting spirit 
for a few chapters because that 

953
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:12,120
is what you needed. 
And then they're going to go 

954
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:17,840
back to not being in your life. 
And regardless of how long they 

955
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:23,480
stay, regardless of what effect 
they have on your life, it's OK 

956
00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:25,760
because different people have 
different roles. 

957
00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:28,880
It's OK if they don't stay for 
the whole thing #16 don't hold 

958
00:56:28,880 --> 00:56:31,960
on to things are people longer 
than they were meant to stay. 

959
00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:33,960
Going back to. 
My last point, as I said, 

960
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:36,360
different people are going to 
have different timelines and 

961
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:39,240
purposes in your life. 
You know they're not meant to 

962
00:56:39,240 --> 00:56:41,600
stay. 
You need to learn to let go when

963
00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:43,520
it's time. 
Don't hold on to something that 

964
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:48,040
obviously isn't meant to stay in
your life because by doing that 

965
00:56:48,040 --> 00:56:50,440
way you could be doing is 
blocking a blessing. 

966
00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:53,000
Maybe that person was meant to 
leave, or maybe that you were 

967
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:57,640
supposed to get yourself out of 
that situation so that God could

968
00:56:57,680 --> 00:57:01,680
put you into bigger and better 
rooms or let you meet someone 

969
00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:05,680
else that is a better person to 
have in your life than the last.

970
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:09,960
Once you let that door closed to
that chapter in your life, you 

971
00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:13,440
can let the next door open. 
Sometimes you're literally 

972
00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:17,160
blocking your own blessing. 
It's OK to be grateful for the 

973
00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:23,240
experiences that you had with 
something or someone or you 

974
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:25,640
know, whatever the situation may
be for you. 

975
00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:29,800
But also you can realize that 
you can appreciate those moments

976
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:35,040
and memories and the time that 
you had while also letting go 

977
00:57:35,040 --> 00:57:38,040
and moving on to what's next. 
You're going to outgrow people, 

978
00:57:38,040 --> 00:57:40,640
you're going to outgrow places, 
and sometimes you're going to 

979
00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:45,440
even outgrow yourself. 
And holding on to all of that 

980
00:57:45,440 --> 00:57:52,280
because of guilt or here or 
attachment, whatever it is, it's

981
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,840
just going to keep you stuck in 
a place that you're not meant to

982
00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:57,160
be. 
Sometimes growth looks like 

983
00:57:57,160 --> 00:58:00,480
letting go of what you once 
prayed for because it's no 

984
00:58:00,480 --> 00:58:03,400
longer serving you. 
And again, that is completely OK

985
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:08,280
#17 be confrontational. 
Literally, girl, just stand up 

986
00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:10,400
for yourself. 
If there's one thing I could go 

987
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:13,520
back to tell me is be 
confrontational. 

988
00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:17,760
Do not let people that are 
disrespecting you keep on 

989
00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:20,520
disrespecting you just because 
you are scared to stand up for 

990
00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:22,080
yourself. 
Confront them. 

991
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:23,760
Ask them like what's up, you 
know? 

992
00:58:23,760 --> 00:58:29,560
Like there's no reason as to why
you should ever be letting 

993
00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:33,280
anyone do anything because 
you're scared of being 

994
00:58:33,280 --> 00:58:36,320
confrontational. 
It's literally something that 

995
00:58:36,320 --> 00:58:39,520
has to be done. 
And I understand that it can be 

996
00:58:39,520 --> 00:58:44,480
hard, but I've just realized 
it's so much easier to just talk

997
00:58:44,480 --> 00:58:47,240
and say something then deal with
all of that emotion. 

998
00:58:47,240 --> 00:58:50,760
A lot of the times all it takes 
is 1 conversation for it to 

999
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:53,440
stop. 
Sometimes all it takes to clear 

1000
00:58:53,520 --> 00:58:56,560
up awkwardness, maybe in a 
relationship, friendship, 

1001
00:58:57,040 --> 00:59:00,080
anything, it's just one 
conversation just to actually 

1002
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:01,600
bring it up. 
Yeah, I can be awkward. 

1003
00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:04,800
Yeah, I can be uncomfortable. 
But be confrontational about it 

1004
00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:08,760
regardless, because the end goal
of that is going to bring you 

1005
00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:12,480
more peace than not confronting 
it at all. 

1006
00:59:12,480 --> 00:59:14,840
And on top of that, 
confrontation doesn't have to be

1007
00:59:14,840 --> 00:59:16,160
a bad thing. 
It doesn't mean that you're 

1008
00:59:16,160 --> 00:59:19,440
arguing with someone. 
It just means that you're seeing

1009
00:59:19,440 --> 00:59:21,920
something happening and you're 
going to talk about it. 

1010
00:59:21,920 --> 00:59:24,400
You know you're going to bring 
it up instead of brushing it 

1011
00:59:24,400 --> 00:59:26,600
underneath the rug and 
pretending that it didn't 

1012
00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:27,840
happen. 
There's something that happened 

1013
00:59:27,840 --> 00:59:29,880
to me recently. 
I was hanging out. 

1014
00:59:29,880 --> 00:59:34,880
With a group of girls. 
And any time that I talked, I 

1015
00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:39,360
would literally just see these 
two girls side eyeing each 

1016
00:59:39,360 --> 00:59:40,480
other. 
Like I would talk and things 

1017
00:59:40,480 --> 00:59:44,960
like be like you know. 
So I was like yo what's up? 

1018
00:59:44,960 --> 00:59:48,320
Like did I say something wrong? 
Like what's what's the issue? 

1019
00:59:48,440 --> 00:59:50,840
They were like what? 
And I was like, y'all are 

1020
00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:55,040
looking at each other anytime 
that I talk, like literally side

1021
00:59:55,040 --> 00:59:57,280
on each other anytime that I say
anything. 

1022
00:59:57,360 --> 00:59:59,840
Old me would have literally just
let that pass. 

1023
00:59:59,840 --> 01:00:02,760
I would have ignored that 
happening and just gone on with 

1024
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:06,040
the night me now. 
I was like, you know, just 

1025
01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:10,920
trying to see the issue of it 
because I could have said 

1026
01:00:10,920 --> 01:00:13,320
something wrong. 
I could have offended someone. 

1027
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:16,880
It's not always. 
Them trying to be mean, and I 

1028
01:00:16,880 --> 01:00:19,760
mean, in that situation, yeah, I
was, they were like saying Oh 

1029
01:00:19,760 --> 01:00:22,440
no, nothing. 
If you're telling me nothing, 

1030
01:00:22,440 --> 01:00:24,560
then you're just side eyeing to 
be mean. 

1031
01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:27,440
I haven't really talked to 
either of them since then. 

1032
01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:30,880
It could have been that I said 
something and I just wanted to 

1033
01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:34,400
also clear that up #18 it's OK 
to be disliked. 

1034
01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:38,200
It's not your responsibility to 
make Someone Like You. 

1035
01:00:38,320 --> 01:00:43,320
Let's repeat that with me. 
It's not your responsibility to 

1036
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:46,560
make Someone Like You. 
Obviously, yes, we want people 

1037
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:49,480
to like us. 
We want people to think good of 

1038
01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:52,680
us and, you know, be friends 
with us. 

1039
01:00:52,680 --> 01:00:57,440
We want them to not think that 
we're a horrible person. 

1040
01:00:57,480 --> 01:01:00,280
But at the end of the day, 
people are going to have their 

1041
01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:02,800
own opinions about you 
regardless of how kind you are 

1042
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:05,040
to them, regardless of how much 
you do for them. 

1043
01:01:05,520 --> 01:01:11,240
Sometimes people will hold that 
first like initial perception 

1044
01:01:11,240 --> 01:01:14,440
that they had of you on the 
whole in time that they know 

1045
01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:16,520
you. 
Sometimes people even just want 

1046
01:01:16,520 --> 01:01:18,440
to have a certain kind of 
perception about you. 

1047
01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:21,320
And even if they're wrong, 
they're going to hold on to that

1048
01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:24,560
negative perception because 
that's how they want to view it.

1049
01:01:24,560 --> 01:01:28,640
And we do not have any 
responsibility to change the 

1050
01:01:28,640 --> 01:01:31,880
reality that someone else has. 
It's worked for them so far. 

1051
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:34,720
It's their life. 
Why am I going to go out of my 

1052
01:01:34,720 --> 01:01:37,920
way to dictate that? 
Let's just say, for example, 

1053
01:01:37,920 --> 01:01:42,560
someone says that I am an 
extremely mean person, that I am

1054
01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:45,480
just so horrible and all this 
other stuff. 

1055
01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:48,920
Am I? 
No, I know myself more than 

1056
01:01:49,080 --> 01:01:52,320
literally anybody else. 
I'm a very introspective person.

1057
01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:56,360
I reflect a lot on if I'm doing.
Good or bad? 

1058
01:01:56,360 --> 01:02:00,480
And what I need to improve on, I
know myself inside and out. 

1059
01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:03,520
And them saying that about me 
isn't going to change that 

1060
01:02:03,520 --> 01:02:07,160
perception of me because I know 
that I'm not like, maybe I'm 

1061
01:02:07,160 --> 01:02:10,920
going to sit there and be like, 
like, did I do anything to them 

1062
01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:15,000
or did I say anything or in 
general to anyone that could 

1063
01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:16,920
have made anyone think about me 
like that? 

1064
01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:21,600
Just being so grounded and 
comfortable in who I am as a 

1065
01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:26,640
person and knowing that. 
I am. 

1066
01:02:27,080 --> 01:02:30,800
The person that I want to be has
helped me not care about what 

1067
01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:33,960
other people think about me or 
whether they like me. 

1068
01:02:33,960 --> 01:02:36,760
Because you know, again, 
sometimes that's going to 

1069
01:02:36,760 --> 01:02:38,160
happen. 
Like sometimes you're going to 

1070
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:40,880
meet someone and your energies 
just don't align. 

1071
01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:42,320
Y'all don't vibe. 
And that's. 

1072
01:02:42,320 --> 01:02:44,880
OK, regardless of the fact that 
there. 

1073
01:02:45,080 --> 01:02:48,240
Are 100% going to be people out 
there that don't? 

1074
01:02:48,240 --> 01:02:51,080
Really vibe what you like that 
you have to be. 

1075
01:02:51,120 --> 01:02:55,320
OK with that because you are 
just so grounded within yourself

1076
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:58,680
and who you are as a person. 
Teen eating healthier, this is 

1077
01:02:58,680 --> 01:03:03,520
something that I got into fairly
recently just like eating 

1078
01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:06,200
healthier. 
Living in America especially, 

1079
01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:10,400
there's just a lot of food 
everywhere with chemicals and 

1080
01:03:10,640 --> 01:03:12,760
ingredients that we don't even 
know about. 

1081
01:03:12,840 --> 01:03:16,560
Regardless of if it's like 
snack, like I want chips or I 

1082
01:03:16,560 --> 01:03:21,720
want candy, I want like a soda 
or something is going to have 

1083
01:03:21,720 --> 01:03:25,200
something that's not good for my
body that my body was never 

1084
01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:29,000
meant to digest. 
We owe it to ourselves and our 

1085
01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:31,120
bodies to treat ourselves 
kindly. 

1086
01:03:31,200 --> 01:03:36,080
I realized that feeding myself 
all of that junk food was just 

1087
01:03:36,120 --> 01:03:39,600
not doing it, and I needed to 
start eating healthier and being

1088
01:03:39,600 --> 01:03:42,200
more intentional. 
With what? 

1089
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:47,200
I let myself eat #20 Iman is 
something that is always going 

1090
01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:51,000
to fluctuate regardless of how 
strong your Iman may feel like 

1091
01:03:51,000 --> 01:03:52,560
right now. 
And if you don't know, Iman 

1092
01:03:52,560 --> 01:03:55,320
means faith. 
So like how strong your belief 

1093
01:03:55,320 --> 01:03:57,840
in Islam is? 
There are going to be points 

1094
01:03:57,840 --> 01:03:59,720
where you don't have that. 
There are going to be points 

1095
01:03:59,720 --> 01:04:03,040
where you backtrack so much that
you're going to be like, how did

1096
01:04:03,040 --> 01:04:06,280
I end up here? 
I used to wear abayas and chill 

1097
01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:08,880
Bob's pretty regularly. 
That was like a few years ago. 

1098
01:04:08,880 --> 01:04:13,360
I would say now I wear a lot 
more like baggy clothing, jeans.

1099
01:04:13,360 --> 01:04:16,760
Sometimes I'll wear like tighter
clothes and. 

1100
01:04:16,800 --> 01:04:19,600
I just feel. 
So guilty a lot of the time 

1101
01:04:19,600 --> 01:04:23,680
because of the fact that I used 
to be a certain way and now I 

1102
01:04:23,680 --> 01:04:25,360
feel like I've backtracked in 
that. 

1103
01:04:25,360 --> 01:04:28,000
However, I've learned that 
that's just a part of life. 

1104
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:30,440
Like your Iman is always going 
to fluctuate. 

1105
01:04:30,520 --> 01:04:33,720
And regardless of how strong it 
may be right now or how weak it 

1106
01:04:33,720 --> 01:04:35,920
may be right now, it's going to 
change. 

1107
01:04:36,040 --> 01:04:38,160
It's going to go higher, it's 
going to go lower. 

1108
01:04:38,240 --> 01:04:41,480
That's just the part of life. 
And regardless of what happens, 

1109
01:04:41,480 --> 01:04:43,240
make sure to tell yourself that 
it's OK. 

1110
01:04:43,240 --> 01:04:47,640
Because the level of guilt that 
I felt for my Iman not being as 

1111
01:04:47,640 --> 01:04:53,040
strong as it once was is like 
insane. 

1112
01:04:53,080 --> 01:04:56,240
But I've realized that it all 
happens for a reason. 

1113
01:04:56,240 --> 01:05:00,240
Because even though outwardly I 
was very much doing what I was 

1114
01:05:00,240 --> 01:05:04,640
supposed to, my Iman like on the
inside, when it comes to my 

1115
01:05:04,640 --> 01:05:07,720
relationship with God and how 
strong that was, it wasn't 

1116
01:05:07,720 --> 01:05:10,320
really where I wanted it to be. 
Now I feel like it's the 

1117
01:05:10,320 --> 01:05:13,320
opposite. 
Where yes, physically I may not 

1118
01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:18,480
look like I am on my theme as 
much as I was before, but my 

1119
01:05:18,480 --> 01:05:21,480
relationship with God has 
definitely gotten a lot stronger

1120
01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:25,760
and I feel like going through 
this phase was 100% needed in 

1121
01:05:25,760 --> 01:05:30,280
order to get to this point. 
And Sha Allah will help me get 

1122
01:05:30,280 --> 01:05:33,240
to that point again where I'm 
able to wear abayas and the full

1123
01:05:33,240 --> 01:05:35,800
hijab and everything. 
Please Make Love for me. 

1124
01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:38,440
Your girl is struggling when it 
comes to that aspect. 

1125
01:05:38,440 --> 01:05:42,560
The lesson out of that is that 
you never know where you're 

1126
01:05:42,560 --> 01:05:45,360
going to end up, especially when
it comes to your Dean. 

1127
01:05:45,440 --> 01:05:48,480
You need to tell yourself that 
it's OK because God Forgives and

1128
01:05:48,480 --> 01:05:52,200
as long as you repent and you 
genuinely feel that in your 

1129
01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:54,040
heart. 
God will forgive. 

1130
01:05:54,040 --> 01:05:58,960
You, he will forgive you and you
will have more chances to show 

1131
01:05:58,960 --> 01:06:01,880
him that you genuinely do love 
him. 

1132
01:06:01,920 --> 01:06:06,560
Just become a better Muslim and 
life will take you on this long 

1133
01:06:06,680 --> 01:06:10,200
road of so many different things
happening. 

1134
01:06:10,200 --> 01:06:13,720
All that matters is that you go 
back to God after every single 

1135
01:06:13,720 --> 01:06:18,400
wrongdoing that you do and you 
choose to try and be better 

1136
01:06:18,640 --> 01:06:20,320
because that's all that we can 
do. 

1137
01:06:20,400 --> 01:06:24,280
That brings us to the end of 
this episode. 

1138
01:06:24,520 --> 01:06:28,520
Thank you so much for tuning and
I really hope you all liked it. 

1139
01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:29,160
I. 
Know. 

1140
01:06:29,640 --> 01:06:32,440
This is my first episode after 
my long hiatus. 

1141
01:06:32,440 --> 01:06:36,360
If you want any specific 
episodes please let me know. 

1142
01:06:36,360 --> 01:06:41,320
If you guys want me to do more 
of these podcast episodes with 

1143
01:06:42,160 --> 01:06:45,920
like a YouTube version to it, 
please do let me know that as 

1144
01:06:45,920 --> 01:06:48,000
well. 
Thank you so much for tuning in.

1145
01:06:48,120 --> 01:06:50,840
I've generally missed y'all 
comment down below anything and 

1146
01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:55,160
anything that you want. 
To thoughts, ideas. 

1147
01:06:55,960 --> 01:06:59,480
Any episodes that you all want, 
please let me know and I will 

1148
01:06:59,480 --> 01:07:01,520
see you guys in my next podcast 
episode.