Ever walk into a negotiation feeling like you're totally
prepped, only to walk out like what just happened?
Yeah. You're not alone.
Not by a long shot. Today, we're going deep on the
psychology of negotiation. That make or break mental game
beneath the surface, right? Exactly.
It's fascinating how much of negotiation comes down to what's
happening inside our own heads. It's like our brains have their
own agenda sometimes. They really do.
So for this deep dive, we're ditching the, you know, surface
tactics, the stuff everyone talks about, right?
We're going deep on the sychology, the stuff that can
really make all the difference. Whether you're aiming for a
raise, haggling over a price, anything.
Or just trying to get your way, let's be honest.
Absolutely, and that often starts with understanding the
sneaky ways our minds can trip us up.
OK, our own minds working against us.
What's that about? We're talking about cognitive
biases, those mental shortcuts that well, they can lead to some
serious negotiation. Fails.
Negotiation fails. OK, so like what?
What's an example? Let's start with the
overconfidence bias. Overconfidence.
How can being like confident be a bad thing?
Confidence is important for sure, but overconfidence?
That's different. That little voice in your head
that says I'm a negotiation ninja, I got this.
Oh yeah, I've totally been there.
But how is that a bad thing? They can be blinding.
You walk in assuming you deserve a certain price without really
considering the other side. So it's like going into a salary
negotiation and I'm like 6 figures no less, without even
like checking what other people are.
Making exactly overconfidence can lead to unrealistic
expectations and you miss crucial information from the
other side. Which can lead to.
Deadlocks, or even losing out on opportunities you might have had
otherwise. So how do we avoid that trap?
We can't just like, switch off our confidence, right?
It's about finding a balance, being confident in your
abilities, but also being realistic.
So being prepared to, you know, to pivot, adjust your approach
based on what you're learning in the negotiation.
Precisely OK. Makes sense.
What else? What other mental traps are out
there? Let's talk about loss aversion.
This one's a real deal breaker. Loss aversion?
That sounds kind of intimidating it.
Can be, especially in a negotiation setting.
OK, So what is it? Basically, loss aversion means
we feel the pain of a loss more strongly than we feel the
pleasure of an equivalent game. So you're saying that that we'd
rather avoid the losing 50 bucks than we would enjoy finding 50
bucks? It might seem irrational, but
that's how our brains are wired. So how does this like, how does
that play out in a negotiation? Imagine you're buying, let's
say, a used car. You've done your research.
You know the fair price is around $5000.
You offer $4500, the seller counters with $5200.
OK, so a little bit above what I want to pay.
Even though $5200 might still be reasonable, the thought of
losing that extra $200, it feels way too significant.
And you walk away from decent deal exactly because it just
feels bad, that feeling of getting a bad deal, even if it's
not that bad. And here's where it gets
interesting. To overcome loss aversion, you
need to reframe the negotiation. Reframe and how?
Instead of focusing on what you might lose, highlight what the
other party gained. Oh.
Interesting. So instead of saying I'll give
you $4500 for the car, I could say you'll.
Walk away with $4500 in your pocket today if you accept my
offer. Well, that's good.
So by shifting the focus to their potential gains, it's less
likely to trigger that loss aversion.
Exactly, and that can make all the difference.
That's a game changer. OK, so we've tackled
overconfidence and loss aversion.
What other mental gremlins are out there?
Well, now that we've covered some common biases, let's talk
about emotional intelligence in negotiation.
Because it's not just about being smart, right?
It's about being smart about your emotions, which let's be
honest. That's where things get really
interesting. It's.
Not like we could just flip a switch and suddenly we're, you
know, emotion reading experts. Right, but it starts with
self-awareness. Think about a time you felt
angry or frustrated during a negotiation.
Oh, tons. What triggered those emotions
and how did you react? Oh.
I've definitely been there. I once let my emotions get the
best of me during a salary negotiation.
I was so worried about like, seeming pushy OK that I just
ended up accepting a lower offer than I deserved.
That's a perfect example of how our emotions can hold us back.
But by understanding those emotional triggers, like the
fear of seeming pushy, you can start to, you know, develop
strategies. To manage them.
Exactly so. It's like learning to recognize
those feelings when they come up and finding ways to like, stay
calm and collected. Yeah, even under pressure, which
can be tough. Oh, for sure.
Taking a few deep breaths, pausing before you respond.
Just like. OK, got a chill.
Exactly, or even injecting a little humor can de escalate a
tense situation. That makes sense.
So it's about finding that balance between being assertive
but not letting your emotions like hijack the whole
negotiation. Yeah, exactly.
You don't want to go from zero to 60.
Right, right. But emotional intelligence isn't
just about managing my own emotions, right?
It's also about understanding what's going on with the other
person. Absolutely.
It's about asking yourself what are their underlying
motivations? What are their fears?
What do they want? OK, their hopes, their dreams.
Exactly, and once you understand what makes them tick, you can
tailor your approach to build rapport.
So instead of just focusing on my goals, I need to try to see
things from their perspective. Yes, that's empathy.
That's where empathy comes in, right?
Exactly. It's like that saying I can't
remember who said it. People don't care how much you
know until they know how much you care.
Or something like that. It's true, but how can I
demonstrate empathy in a negotiation without seeming like
a pushover? Well, you can acknowledge their
perspective, validate their concerns.
So they don't feel like I'm just dismissing.
Them exactly. You can even find points of
agreement, all while advocating for your own interests.
So it's about finding those win, win solutions, yes.
Where both parties feel heard and respected, which is
important. That makes sense.
But I mean, let's be real, negotiations can be, you know,
they can be tough, things can get heated.
Oh, for sure. Even with the best intentions,
it's easy to lose your cool. Absolutely, and that's where
professionalism comes in. OK, so how do we stay classy
even when things get a little? You know, think of it like a
tennis match. OK, things might get intense,
but you still adhere to a certain code of conduct.
So how do we keep our cool? When you know when the
pressure's on, It's easy to say stay professional.
But how do you actually do that? One thing that helps recognize
your own triggers. If you feel yourself getting
flustered, defensive, take a break.
Step away from the table. Take a few deep breaths.
Gather your. Thoughts.
Because nothing good comes from like firing off that angry
e-mail or saying something you'll regret.
Exactly, and it's also important to stay focused on the core
issues. Don't get like lost in the
weeds. Exactly, if the conversation
starts to veer off track or you get bogged down in little
details, you got to steer it back to the main points.
Back to the point, yeah, so it's about finding that, you know,
that win, win, but how can we aim for that win, win when it
feels like the other side's just being, like, difficult?
Remember a win win doesn't mean getting everything you want.
It's about finding a solution that you know it meets the needs
of both parties, even if it requires some compromise.
Right. And sometimes that takes a
little creativity, right? Instead of just focusing on
dividing the pie, how can we make the pie bigger for
everyone? That's a great way to think
about it. It's about shifting your mindset
from I win, you lose to how can we both win here and that can
make all the difference. This has been, I mean, really
eye opening. We've covered so much today.
Any final words of wisdom for our listeners as they navigate
the the often tricky world of negotiation?
Remember, negotiation is a skill, and like any skill, it
takes practice. Don't be afraid to, you know,
experiment with these techniques.
Most importantly, be kind to yourself.
Not every negotiation is going to be perfect, but each one is a
chance to learn and get better. It's all about progress, not
perfection. So next time you find yourself,
you know, gearing up for a negotiation, remember what we
talked about. Understand those biases, that
emotional intelligence is key and prioritize being
professional. You might be surprised what you
can achieve. Thanks for joining us on this
deep dive, everyone. We'll see you next time.