Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of Lazy Boys
with his head, my Daisy boys, esteemed colleagues, William
Thompson. Thank you, Bartlett.
Good day. We know each other's middle
names, don't we? Use Brian or.
No Aiden. Aiden, Patrick.
Aiden and Brian are similar. They're both Aya in them.
Aiden and Patrick. Yeah, Michael, Aiden, Patrick.
Michael Aiden Patrick is a brilliant name.
Michael Aiden Patrick. Michael Aiden, Patrick.
It sounds like a shop you'd buy fancy candles and.
No, he sounds like a Irish actor who's in Hallmark movies in the
90s. Michael Aiden.
Yeah, yeah, drop the Bartlett. Yeah, Michael moved the Bartlett
to where? Michael Aiden.
Patrick Oh my God, to clean up like I've been live with the
Poland Fortnite. Absolutely.
There's a Unity fan is doing. Bartlett sounds too close to
Bartlett. Do you know?
What you you sound too close, like Bob Thompson and Todd like
like on your own? Yeah.
Yeah, on your Todd. But you wouldn't be on your own
if you. Recall I remember we want to
have the voice of my head the demon yes yeah every alcoholism
schizophrenia. So in your face, in both, in
both your faces, if he's are even here, who's the tell?
Who's the know you? Should drink like you're so
complex, what happened? You're so complex because.
You're Michael. That's Michael.
And here if you. Want to throw in a curveball
come His name is Brendan, so I'm technically.
Dominion Royalty. Brendan Bartlett would work as a
separate guy. Brendan Bartlett?
No, he's a solicitor. Get you off.
See, when you're in the house, you're Brendan Bartlett.
No. Not see when you're out, No.
Not when I'm in the house. I'm fucking dotty to who?
There's literally nobody. No, you're sensing when you're
in the house. Yeah, I'll take all your gear.
Like, yeah, Michael and I also do the eyes in the mirror, Mike,
these ones. Do you know who would make
Mantle like that? Michael Aiden Patrick.
He. Was very serious.
He's very serious, man. He's very serious.
He's very stoic. He loves a whiskey, but not like
you not. No, he likes he likes a PD 1, he
likes a 12 year old Scotch and then he has a whiskey.
Every time you write, Michael. Aiden Patrick's not a
paedophile. Brian Bartlett on the other.
Hand Brian Barton is a 30 months it's he not what's your
mentally. Let's make up the characters for
you, Montake. No, it's not.
No, it's. Not what's that?
How'd you get name? By the way, Montague or
Montague? Because Montague sounds like
like a Catholic called Q who's trying to pretend he is
Protestant to get a job in a shipyard.
Montague. Montague, how do you spell?
MONTAQUE Montague. Where does it come from?
My Uncle Montague. Your uncle's skip AQ, He was
getting DLA as well. You're you're all going to
snooker hall. Just a fucking just three
generations of sunflower lanyards.
That's also skip accused. What?
Was your dealer uncle want the key?
I said that. Oh, Danny, no, no, no, no.
Want a key? Yeah, I said that.
Different key. Different.
Kind of, yeah, Yeah. Drugs.
Yeah, some magic. Joey doesn't take drugs.
He's clean living Michael Lead and Patrick.
What's your middle name, Mr. You know what?
What's? Your middle name?
What have you guys been up to? Dennis, it's not Dennis.
No, it's my dad's name. No, no.
But some people, yeah. My dad's name is Patrick.
It's. My name is Patty Bartlett.
Yeah, there you go. You have my name.
Everyone knows that. Why?
I thought your mom was Asian. That's what you've been telling
me. Big cheeks so upper.
I haven't seen the back ones. Tell us more about what's your.
Middle name? What's your middle name?
It's Sheen, Stewart Todd. Yeah. s s Todd.
Yeah. Calm down dad, don't try and
flip it over the dam. My favorite is Stewart.
Todd Oh Stewie. Stewie T.
And the worst thing is, it's spelled EW.
Oh fuck, like a supermarket. It was called out at my wedding
and I heard people tether and I look right like this.
She and. Stuart Todd, Stewie.
Todd. Stewie Tease.
She and Stuart. She and Stuart Todd as a witness
for the prosecution for the Crown.
Yeah. Do you know what I mean?
Yep. He's like Andrew did nothing.
Yeah. Yes, he collected a few 10
miles, but he. The police used the right amount
of force in this situation. I stand over it.
That man needed shot 15 times in the.
Back, yes. Burn the yachts.
I mean Boots, yeah, yeah. She and Stuart Todd.
She and Stuart Todd, the honourable member for Islington.
Yeah. Tory party donor, She and
Stuart. Todd Oh my God.
Yeah, you and fucking Jacob Rees Mogg paddle about.
Todd the Mug, Morgan. Todd Morgan, Todd.
I was going to be called if I was called Chain Henry.
I was going to be called Henry. I'm not talking about that must
have been a popular name back in it.
Were you going to be called Henry?
No, but you, Henry. Henry.
Henry, Henry Bart. Henry Quick.
But you can, I mean you can do.
That. Damn quick.
I was going to be Henry Bartlett, which.
The Henry Bartlett is is called for the prosecution.
No, Henry Bartlett plays cricket at a professional level.
Yes, and. He doesn't brag about it like.
Right. You know what?
He's a sub. Did you have any other names for
floating about? No idea, right?
No idea. I think I was always going to be
with him. If you can't get enough of Us
Gorgeous 3, head on over to patreon.com/lazy Boys for The
Afters. Oh, you get extra episodes, some
live shows. It's a fun time.
Everything, he said. I, I can't, I can't put that
anything. Yeah, it's extra content.
It was on point, it was succinct, it's brilliant.
Comes here as we do more. It's funny, it's good.
A little bit raw, a little bit raucous.
We'll give it you. Yeah.
What is your actual middle name though?
Montague. It's not Montague.
Stop man it. Was Montague 5 minutes ago?
So you so you're talking chat unless it's William Montague.
Montague Thompson Montague. Montague.
Montague you said Montague three.
Oh no. Which I tend to do.
No, you don't. That's just the habit of
Montague, you know what I mean? I can figure this out through my
detective skills. Yeah, you sent me your passport
multiple times. Fuck.
Yes. Fuck, gotta find out my name is
really Michael Montague. By the way, you look like a wee
sexy fat Mexican guy in your password picture.
No, I look like we've talked about this.
That fucking Mexican actor that didn't everything.
Louise Guzman. Louise Guzman.
Oh you do look like an extra in Narcos.
Oh, William. Oh, believe that.
What? Don't tell people my actual
name. Oh yeah, I forgot Thompson's
your stage name. What?
What a showbiz twist, that. Is I don't believe.
That you're not Engelbert Humperdinck like.
We will be but I didn't know I wasn't to read it.
But like, how are we going to dox you with your real name?
Just don't like people know my actual name.
But I'm she and Stuart Todd. And I'm Megan Patrick Bartlett.
Yeah, but that's the names you go under.
OK. I don't like using that.
Name. OK, we'll be you.
Don't want to use your slave name exactly.
Yeah, exactly. Jamie.
Yeah, William, Jimmy. But here's your Wang Chong is a
mad surname. That's what people do know.
Yeah, also a strange flavour of ice cream.
But you've taken you've taken your names away with changed in
the early days of stand up. Changed up.
Once I know you're considering another name change.
What was that? Oh yeah, I want to be Liam and I
wish I would have went with that.
Way nicer. Name Liam Thompson.
No, because you can't walk. You shouldn't let anybody call
you Liam. Do you know what this is?
Mental when I was young. LAME.
Yeah, when I was young, I want to change it to lame.
And that's the exact reason my mum gave me two.
She was like, no, you don't want to be lame and like.
Smart woman she was. That's why I don't call myself
Big Deck Bartlett, because it'll be a lie on it.
It's also not a name. It is my.
House. It is a guarantee deck.
I guarantee you in Texas, there's one big deck, Bartlett.
Not by birth, Big Richard Bartlett.
That's what they're like out there, yeah.
They do be said there's no there's a Bart Bartlett.
I have a third cousin called Bartholomew Bartlett.
Yeah. And my father told me in front
of him and call and get us, and they didn't let it go over but a
year. And I was like, I've never met
the man. We're like, why do?
You not do this on stage at all. He was just ashamed.
Bart. Bart Bartlett there, you know
his middle name is Bart. Yeah, Bart, it's Bart.
Bart Bartlett. Any weird names in your family
I'm. Trying to think of mine.
Family are very straight and to the point.
No, no strange names at all. No messing about, no don't have
anything a. Couple of Uber tag names like I
can't even pronounce them. Bartlett doing.
Uber tag. Yes, actually, yeah, a handful
of them. Like give me $5.
No, they won't even. They won't even.
They won't even lower themselves to Uber like fucking Robin
bastard. So we are are worse than fucking
and then they'll introduce some. Race they get interrupted.
Yeah, yeah, phone the cash call at work, Yeah.
I do tend to fight like pro families.
The names are never they'll be normal and then you'll get one
that's out of the blue mantle out of nowhere and it's always a
double barrel. Yes, yes.
Shocker win what Chuck on with. Chuck on with you.
Know it's a great we name block. So I thought you meant that as a
name. I was like, that's why I meant
like Demi Lee. But.
Demi is not there, right? I know everybody.
There must have been a time where there was a lot of women
that had were conceived watching Ghost because the amount of
demis that have appeared in this country between the ages of
about 30 to 33. Yes, yes.
It's and I because to me that's it's French for half.
I mean watching that movie give. Me halfly watching.
That movie gives me a dummy like so.
Demi, absolutely. Yeah, but here's the thing.
Loads of Demi's haven't met a single Whoopi.
Yeah, now the thing with Demi is great name for great name for
getting called Dami. Whippy.
Yeah, yeah, you don't met his auntie.
Whoopi, Demi Lee. Montague's wife.
No, my auntie not met my Auntie Goldberg.
No, that's my auntie. Have you not met?
Have you not wet? Not met with being nothing.
You know I haven't. Remember, we want to, you know,
the classical fist. I gotta take our time.
Introduce you to Whoopi and Matagu.
I have. I used to have a way uncle with
no legs called Bobby Todd. But no, you didn't know.
You fucking didn't know. You did.
Not my life. Was he called Bobby?
Because if you put him in the water, he would just.
Dude should be called Sinky Todd, a famous Barber.
Why did no legs? Why did they up?
I can't remember, but my granny here to see him come to the
house, he's a dose, he's a dose, he's a dose like.
Was it her son or no? No, no.
Was her brother-in-law. Half brother, No.
Dude, do not make jokes about Bobby Todd.
God rest his whole. Sound like he lives.
You know I and here never show you some newspaper article about
why you got kicked off the bus in the middle of High Street
person about no. Yeah, it's not real.
He got told he was getting his legs cut off.
Doc out. My granny told me the story of
like, they were all there when the doctor came into the room
and said good news and bad news, bad news.
Your leg. But I, we probably taught, had
no legs. That's yours. 10 years should
have fella caught you and what do you know how I end up with
all those no legs? Sorry just didn't have legs.
Was it the war? Didn't have legs.
No, he wouldn't have. Seemed like a war guy like.
Did he tie his chargers and knots at the end?
I don't know, like Lieutenant them.
Called that, it's fairly this out.
Why is it he sounds like he lives in a shark?
Bar but no, he's dead. There's no coffin.
Yeah, shoebox. We got 50% off here, here.
Just just a quick one. We're on the podcast here.
See Uncle Bobby. Yes.
Why did he have no legs? He.
Didn't have a say on it, I don't think no.
Probably diabetes. Diabetes.
Yes. How did he get a bike?
Did he have fake legs? He.
Used to. I was going to say he just
touched the bike. I've already done that.
Yes, already. Yeah, it's not, it's not nice.
Yes. Did he have a wheelchair?
No, he had real legs. As well as.
Yeah, he got another pair of real legs.
How did he get a bike? No, but did he have a wheelchair
or did he? How did he get around?
You know me with a memory loss. You're asking the wrong guy,
right? I think a combination of both it
would have been. Wheelchair and sticks and stuff
but did he have fake legs or did he just have stumps?
I. Can't remember mate.
Right. I can find.
Out. No.
Are you going to speak to? Relatives.
Right. No, don't worry, because they'll
wonder why they'll we're we're being a bit disrespectful about
him here. Oh.
No, it's yeah. Right, right.
All right. Thanks.
But OK, overnight. Hi.
Dennis No, He had another power of real legs.
Is it personal? That's phenomenal.
Phenomenal. That's how phenomenal it.
Is a Bobby. I love Dennis goes right over
and out so. See where Sandra is that used to
be a Mace. And I remember being there when
I probably when I was 10, me and my cousin Michael and mate Sean
and were in the shop and Bobby was there and Bobby recognized
my cousin Michael. So we we would have seen him the
all time, but he wasn't, he was like our grandest brother.
So he walked, he goes right son and Mike goes hiya.
And he gave him a pound and our mate Sean was down on the side
of him and he gave Sean a pound. And I saw this from across the
shop and I was like, I need a pound.
So I'll really overdo it. So I walked over and I went.
I said, all right, Uncle Bobby, anyway, all right, so I just
walked out. Never gave me a pound.
Yeah, well, it's a miracle. Do you think he was just weighed
down by the coins? This is slightly call them.
Shout out, rest in peace. Rest in peace uncle Bobby
pieces. Did the bury his legs separately
or did the by the plot early and then he just like reattached
them at the end? Both ends.
Oh God. Terrible to do, we suit.
Did he literally? Every day I'd rather lose a leg
because then I'd have an excuse to do nothing.
I think he bought, like, cargo shorts, right, Demotic?
You know what I mean? Yeah.
I'm not meaningfully I couldn't lose an arm because then how am
I playing PlayStation? That's I think with that all
time. I could lose my legs, I usually.
Would rather play PlayStation than walk.
Yep. What do you think we do all day?
Are you going to walk to a closed door?
Then we're like fuck. Can't wait to get in.
Can't wait to get in from work so I can go for a walk.
Shut up. What time is it?
I don't know. Don't have an arm.
Yeah. Therefore we walk from.
Blackwater to Valentine's most nights.
Most nights last all my did the Valentine's strawberry.
In fact, less than 5. Minutes, oh, on the horse.
Yeah, float quickly. How?
Many steps would you get a day. In red. 12 for me.
No in life. Oh, about 5000.
I was I67 on average day 6-7. We are.
We're so young and hip. Yeah, by 5000 on an on an off
day. I don't get a lot of like, I
never had 10,000. That's what you're supposed to
get in it. Bobby got him.
Rest in pieces. Fuck I.
Didn't have anywhere to say that the.
Second thing we've said. I said it to him, he said to.
Me. I know I doubt, but I didn't
mean to say it. I meant to say rest in peace.
Yeah. Paramount dead.
I have an uncle that lost a pinky finger told.
Us someone's butt. What was your sneeze?
Yeah, well, I was the thing he told us.
It was like you had all these cool stories about it.
There was a German of a shark, and then it turns out he was
helping a guy back reverse a lorry out of a thing and put the
wrong hand up down the stop and just squish his finger.
Yeah, racist. Again, I get it's a shark.
Why? Why would a German take his
finger? A German shark.
Great white. You're going to.
Need a bigger of you're? Going to need a bigger ball of
all right. A bigger boot.
That's boot. That's George, Yeah.
You'll see a Sharks ice chiefs. They have black eyes like a Jews
eyes. Sorry, every time I say that I
have to do. Mob.
I love it. There's good, there's mob news,
This. Week.
So the Mafia have dropped the ban on homosexuality after
discovering a mob's boss son as a fabulous drag queen.
Great, about time. How good do you need to be
though as a? Job or like.
This guy, this girl, this guy, this girl, the state name.
Watching someone slot drop the Cardi B and then they're just
like, and you know, we need to modernize.
Yeah. It's about focus.
I'll do it later. It's about time we got with the
times. Wasn't all I saw Tommy do the do
the splits with some fake tits that I realized love is love.
They. Forgot you Rigatoni.
It doesn't matter, it all goes in the same pot.
There is a friend of ours. You're a mayday them you never
touch and made they them on my mother father's eyes.
But that's nice, isn't it? That's a lovely story.
Like, that's nice. Yeah.
But we have to take it too far
to sort of whacking people from misgendering.
Hey, you used the wrong pronouns over here.
Hey, love is love. What the fuck?
Are you going to sleep with the fucking fishes?
You ever call me a dude again? You motherfucker, you.
Yeah, so it's one that story, I read it.
It came from like an anti mafia journalist.
Uncle Mafia. Uncle Mafia, Yes.
Who? So he's trying to like, expose
the mafia and he came out and was.
Like, I feel like they've been exposed.
Yeah. What are these boys up to here?
Yeah, he's talking about it like it's the building.
Flow to the Pride Parade now. Yeah, yeah.
That'll be that'll be if they reboot The Godfather and that
guy's walking through the middle of fucking the Bronx.
But. It's the pride parade.
Hey, Slay, Ricky Slay. We got with RuPaul's hand, your
man. I'm going to make you one off.
You can refuse if you want to pro-choice.
Oh, queen, oh. That is a great story.
It's a nice, it's a nice little. Don't know why I'm all of a
sudden hold my coffee like that's lovely.
As if now the mafia is cool that I can be like finally I can
reveal myself. The Taliban seem more relaxed
these days. I don't think they're open in
the same way. Give it a while but do what I
mean like and subscribe. We make the wee videos.
It was not like Bernard always did the we videos to the camera.
Yeah, vlogs and stuff, yeah. Hey dudes.
Doing a mock bang. Yeah, just follow me in the day
of the life of an Islamic Titleist terrorist.
Get ready with me but on my journey one day.
Wind back the clock. What?
What will I wear today? Your question, same old hey.
TikTok Boom. What was it?
He had a movie collection that they found been landed.
Bin Laden had a collection of movies.
Grace 1 and 2. No, but it was.
I like it when then they say it. Was stuff like that like it was?
IA shirt little one of them I just like how he they adopt him
like he real boy. Adorable, adorable.
I like home alone. Home Alone 2 lost in New York
gave me a good idea. I regret, I regret Problem
America, in case Stewart is there.
Have you seen clocks one and two?
2 is not as good. See Stewart Little in the plane
Be Like Me thinks we can paint it on the mouse.
A mix of Western animated children's movies, documentaries
about himself and viral videos. So he had ants checking little
cars. Ice Age.
One man, one glass. Guys this, guys this.
Charlie put my finger. You'll love this.
Sorry, run them 34 mega. Ants checking little cars.
Ice Age home on the range 3 Musketeers that various Mr. bean
episodes Mr. Bean get the fuck out of my face.
Have you seen one where he Dr. mainly with paint Cam it make
me. He's tried to jump off diving
board. Watch this shit.
He is adorable. Teddy remind me of myself as a
boy. He.
Has Ice Age cars, Bin Laden's by the.
Fire. He is Mr. Bean.
Nobody has Mr. Bean. Maybe Mr. CX doesn't have Mr.
Bean. You can't find Mr. Bean and that
fucker I don't like. Maybe Bean got him in the bombs.
Remember when Bean's got to paint his living room and he
can't be bothered, so he just tapes everything up in newspaper
and does a white bomb of paint in this house?
Guys, there's something in this. I have idea.
Niche documentaries, World's Worst Venom, Inside the Green
Berets and Kung Fu Killers. Brilliant.
Yeah, by the way, you just just to let you know me and when's
his birthday? 10th of March, same as mine,
right? Fuck we are.
You told me there's a bin Laden, Bart.
Bin Laden, Bin Laden. Honestly I feel if I went Sam.
McGuire if. I went over to Bin Laden's
house. It's like going to see you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's watching Kung Fu.
What were we talking about? Yes, I will make tea.
Do you take sugar? Stay tonight.
You will get plucked. Why don't we go on the pitch?
Come on, big man. You love it.
Is this funny? This anything.
I was going to do a bit about my cock.
Have you heard this before? Does anyone have a bit about
butthole? Guys, it's 4:00.
We should wrap it up by boxing at six.
I have a bit about, you know, when your 5th and 7th wife just
don't get up, you're like. Please.
I'll tell you what, please. I'm watching Chicken Little.
Here, tell you what guys, I am Steven these.
Nuts. I'm nervous about this turban.
Yes, I am Kieran Bartlett's bin Laden's cousin.
Viral Content YouTube video Charlie bet my finger was fine,
along with clips about crocheting.
But. Video games Evidence of games,
Final Fantasy 7, Devil May Cry and Half Life.
Are they good games? They're classics.
They're like, what do? You guys like them?
You do now, yeah. I mean, that's a pretty cool
dude. Like.
What a bachelor. He died for half life 3 ever
came out. Poor guy.
See if see if Mick was in SEAL team sex, he'd he'd have gone in
and been like seen his collection gone.
He's not here last where you just go, Osama.
Going in to kill me, he's just like putting up the PlayStation.
I'd walk in to kill him, see him and take a look in the mirror.
You're about to like him even more.
Other media various home videos, wildlife videos, and reports of
pornography. Oh.
Yeah, Osama been wanking, dirty bastard.
Osama been laying some pipe, Yeah.
He was watching porn. And I know.
It was like it was different. Kind of poor.
No, it's just a woman lifting her skirt up and you see one
ankle Ponies. Oh, doctor bitch, you love it,
you slot. I'm trying to have secret wanks
from his seven wives. Like, yeah, don't come in, I'm
watching cockatoo. I'm like, brush out of her
pajamas. Here I am watching CCTV from
Clark shoe shop. This woman is about.
This woman is about to walk up and down and on the 1 shoe
doctor bitch. She's watching up sock and
videos. He also the DVDVD collection of
1 Foot in the Grave, but he didn't know what it was.
About oh, look at the forehead on that.
I have collection of British letter boxes.
Jesus. Christ.
Jesus Christ. Yeah, that's the one.
That's one gets us in trouble. Yeah.
Yeah, it's that one. Yeah, you're right.
It's that. One.
Yeah, that's the one. Yeah, no, I don't think.
But that's the one. That's the one.
Of all the things we've said over the last few years, that's
the one. What?
Else. What else?
What else if I'm not having his
house? Is there any other stuff if I
have Finally he's non Chuck. I'm right forward if.
He's a wee lightsaber. By God, but if you watch Star
Wars a long time ago and Galaxy far far away.
What is this he have one DVD? Find me the funniest season 1.
It was the best. I watched DVD so many times.
It's not to skip. No, I mean.
Speaking of skipping, have you heard of Vicky bottle #1 athlete
Northern Ireland man? That find something else.
Personal Item Found a stash of Just For Men hair dye.
For his beard, he's getting bad self-conscious.
I look old. I look fat in this beheading
video. Oh look at my crows eyes.
I'm shouting death to the West, but I'm tired.
I'm tired in this video. Death to the West, death to
these wrinkles, more like. Maybe I'm born with it, maybe
I'm Bin Laden, maybe I'm Mujahideen.
Can you throw up? Is there more?
I want to know more about what Bin Laden had in his house.
No, it's all very boring you. Know how I found out he was
killed and I'm telling the full God honest.
Truth you were on same team 6IN. Front of the newspaper.
John Cena announced. It before it happened I'm pretty
I before it was broken anywhere. Before it was broken anywhere.
I think he announced it before Obama.
John Cena was literally like, yeah, guys, nice one, well done
getting bin Laden, everyone. What are you talking about?
One minute. Later beat Brock Lesnar and then
then the announcement we have compromised Osama bin Laden the
permanent and then I was like maybe he was this is if they're
bringing him in here. If this is.
Maybe he was part of the the yeah.
He wouldn't have seen them with him.
Cena Team 6. But that's me to fuck all say no
what I mean? This members can't be like.
Is this how I find out? That's funny because I actually
found out about Princess Diana from Ric Flair.
He went woo and I was like, I can, I can read between the
lines. I.
Found I was watching Eurosport. Yeah.
Do you know what I was trying? I was skipping through Eurosport
trying to find cartoons but I remember it was Sunday morning
wasn't. It Yep, Yep, I think so.
What are you my model over the tricolor half mast?
Goodbye Afghanistan's rules. I.
Love it, I love that. Elton John did that where he was
like, do you want to write a new song for her?
And he was just like Norma. Jean becomes Diana.
Yeah, goodbye. I love Elton, the original.
Brilliant. I mean, if you really want to do
justice, you could have been like Saturday, Saturday,
Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday.
That's all right for a drive, yeah.
Would have been respectful. I think she would have laughed.
I think she would have been like.
Elton, you know, You know what? He could sing for Uncle Bobby.
I'm not standing. That would work, yeah.
What's the name of? Because I've got no legs.
So. What's the name?
So you could also have Uncle Bobby.
I want to ride my bicycle. Scream it.
Scream. Yeah.
But why would just? Technically the both.
Are let's have also of all, all songs of all time?
No, let's have all songs of all time, Yeah?
Let's have all songs of all time, but you're dead.
No, leg, don't go. Sorry, I shouldn't actually say
whoa, Yeah. Do what else?
Have found.
Do what else have found? What else have found at Bin
Laden's house in his personal porn stash?
Bobby's ankles. Fucking hell, that's just nasty.
Hello, I'm really. Sorry, I'm sorry.
We're talking, we're having, OK. I've had a lot.
I've had a lot of. Because when he says everything
all right at home, no. Really happy.
I said that. I said, I mean, is everything
right at home? He like, got angry with
something and he went, you know, it's not.
Because every time we ask about home, I tell him like, see, his
eyes go over, glaze over, and he starts to look away and I'm
like, I'm not going to. Tell you, I know there's nothing
worse than being like, how's things?
So we tell you they're not good. You're like, I didn't mean it.
Just like I did not mean it. Yeah.
Just meant. If your head's away, don't say.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we say if.
Your head's away. Keep yourself, yeah?
Don't wreck your mates day. If you're anyway don't.
Don't wreck your mates day. Yeah, do you ever get the time
like internalize it such a prostate for for swelling do.
You ever get time someone does go down like a like a?
Really. No, not the wild.
A really dark conversation. Then you like, crack a joke to
light the mood and they just don't laugh.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm awful at that. I'm awful at that.
I know, but I always I was cracking we joke and they just
give you a third look OK both be miserably Yeah for a night
they're. There now, but his uncle's
ankles. That was what I'll say that.
I thought it was just kind of reference it.
Wasn't really you got annoyed because we.
He didn't give him a pound. Fuck him.
We, we, you got his own. Right.
Yeah, it's right. Fair enough, but I was like, you
got annoyed because we were That's not Elton John, that's
Queen. And you're well.
Fucked. Well, actually you just talked
over the point when I said they're.
They both are technically, yeah, which I thought was a great
sidestep. You mean I don't know?
Concert was unbelievable. I had an uncle who was morbidly,
morbidly obese when he passed away and there was a lot of dark
jokes made of his funeral, a lot of them because I had the had
the wack in the hospital because he was too big to get home.
And I looked at people who were crying, but there was that much
formaldehyde in the man's body that it was like itching
people's eyes. They.
Just they just draw straws to see who was.
Carrying the call it might have took.
It was like usually whenever you lower coffin in their grave it's
like it's usually two men on either side.
It was like 2 tug of war teams right there.
At one point someone said take a lid off that coffin, fill it
with water and the children can have a paddling pool.
Fucking hell. Someone else said throw a bit of
green felt over to get a decent give and put it at a bad point.
Yeah, at one point my grandda who's now also passed away,
someone said to my granddad, do you know what his last words
were? And my grandda went beckon.
My my granda for the last like year of his life, whatever used
to sleep downstairs. You can get like obviously get
up and down. And when a friend of my granny's
used to call in, you know, again, one of these people you
offer fucks. Here she is.
My granda would just like pretend to be asleep and always
in the front room be asleep. Just she didn't want to talk to
her. And one day she came.
She came in. She was looking at my granny.
She was like Peggy He looks awful and he's lying there and
she goes he's going to die soon as he Peggs cheeky boss didn't
like it at all sprung up. But wrong with me.
But he used to live, he used to sleep in the room.
It's a dream, yeah. But I annoyed him like because
everyone was chilling in the living room.
He didn't always like my grand. There was a big stop running in
and OK. Yeah, like I.
Did not like it. I, I, you know what, like I have
family members used to be like, out to stop running them out.
I'm like, I just have to pick an area.
Yeah, yeah. Why do I have to pick a sector?
My, my, my used to take term time from the civil service.
You could have the summer off and she would say to people, I
just want to spend time with the kids.
Just have worked all year once and then the first air summer
holiday should be like you 2 out the fuck?
I would just be standing in the rain and she'd be hovering and
drinking. Yeah, which is where I get my
love for it from. Go and play outside.
No one's outside. We'll go and just.
I had to. I always spelt the sugar again.
I used to hear that. Go and play outside.
No one's outside. Well, just.
Go. Summer schemes the way to go I
love summer schemes. I loved summer schemes.
I. Never even got to the summer.
Scheme, are you being serious? Sorry God, summer schemes were
on and see like summer schemes now are expensively see back in
the day you're probably playing like a fiver a week to go and
just have all the activities I go.
If it was socially acceptable I'd go to summer schemes as just
a guy you know, see football in the morning, We we can rounders
in the afternoon. We can.
We can organize that for ourselves.
Boys, Boys summer game. Yeah, Dizzy boy.
Summer game. I mean, obviously it would just
be comedians and adults invited because that's.
Oh yeah, yeah, but do you want to do sport activities?
Yeah, but summer skiff, it's summer scheme rules where it
doesn't really matter who wins or loses.
We have to give him he never got to be summer scheme.
I never got to be summer scheme ever.
Oh, like. I told A1 called Paul Atchison,
Shouted to Paul Atchison. Never been on a lads holiday
there? Yes, you have haven't.
What? What have you been doing right?
What have you been doing crying? Crying, crying you've.
Never been a large holiday. Never been a large holiday.
I've been away for a weekend, but I've never been like a large
holiday. Yeah.
So I've never been like down the actually.
Far, far. You could get on one of them.
Yeah. Do you know who's grateful on
the lads holiday? Me.
I know. I'm very fun.
He's good, yeah. He's good, you wouldn't think.
I would say like it say for example you me falsely down to
shame. I give you.
Yeah, sorry. I give you your vitamins in the
morning like I actually do when we're away.
Yeah. No, you rang me.
Calm down. Fucking come down.
No, poodle. You're missing all the sunshine
that night. You did not.
Stop running now. He did that.
He said calm down now, come on, get late.
I hung up on him. I was like fucking late at.
3:00. I mean, you're wasting the
sunshine like I. Don't care for fuck, it's my
holiday. You can't land bed all day and
all day you get up. Speak to the fucking 8 hour
break man. But he went to bed at nights for
8 hours is different. He's been out this on all day.
For. Sleeping upside down.
No, for that. See, if you give me the day and
afternoon, the morning and afternoon of sleep, I'm great.
Crack. See if you get me up early, I
will resent you for it. I'm not.
I'll ruin your day because you've annoyed me.
But with me, you and Calvin, don't I give you any vitamin
drinks? You do give me vitamin drinks.
Do you not ever just get up in the morning even though you're
down and you just go down to the pool cannonball in it's
freezing, so it just shakes the hangover to you and you go.
It's going to be gist. See.
If I'm in a bad mood, I can't pretend to be in a good mood and
I will ruin everyone else's day. But if I was imagine me, I'd me
there right do my. Fucking.
Have we set back there? I got you a double go.
Have we set? Your E medicine.
We saw whether here's your vitamin squad.
It's Calpol. Yeah, there's alignment at that
council. It's don't speak to me until
like 3 beers and then I'll be fine.
I know. But I'd bring you the beers
like. Say we say we were to.
I know it's hypothetically benidorms and talked about.
What's happening if we were benidorms happening?
If I Benidorm has to happen, what is happening?
It has. To what would be your activity,
say we're say Ben Benidorms is you do an autumn scheme.
Do you have any idea how much time I could spend just going
boys? Just you stand on a row, your
legs which went through. No, but what like.
I just want to be heard of. One activity each.
Drinking in the pool. Activity.
Someone down the pool and then get out for we don't get back in
the pool. We tribute you, we're gonna,
we're gonna see meatloaf or something like that and they
don't come on till like 12 or 1:00 in the morning.
So yeah, the rest of the Abbey just doing hands, hands in the
pool, you'd love. Because we if it's a lazy boot
trip, we need to give the, we need to give the Patriots some
content like. I mean, yeah, I think a tribute
should be good idea. Right.
Can you look up? I'm not sure we can just go to
Benidorm and film someone else in a tribute show that's.
Yeah, I think you not with that. Attitude, right?
No, but I think what dancing is, Willie might need to get
involved in the tribute. That's kind of maybe the tribute
act is coaching you. That's kind of a sticky vacuum.
Can you look up down 10 things to do in Benidorm just fine?
What like. I hope it comes up, I think,
Gavin says. Tits parts tits Is that Matt
Lucas? Tits shots pints, tits drugs,
tits tandem bike rides. All the boys in Ravi Shankar
T-shirts. Yes, now come on, the fuck like.
You do a Ravi Shankar tribute show for everyone in Belton.
Can't imagine. For the expats.
Yeah, I don't, I don't think Ben is going to like that at all
yet. You'll be on a dinghy, a Pierce
dinghy, within about 10 minutes. Yeah, man.
It's giving me a lot of day trips.
There's a dolphin show. There's.
I could do that. I mean Aqualandia temporarily
closed, so we might not get in there is.
There a donkey donkey walk. It's a donkey show.
There's a live wild adventure park, Terra Nurtura.
It's just words in it. Live wild adventure, fun park.
I reckon if we were in a in a hotel we could without even like
just have an impromptu Aqua aerobics class.
I think it needs to be something like that where you just come up
with an idea to do while out there rather than.
You take an. I've taken aerobics class.
You're used to use produce to start, and then we see how many
people we can get involved in. The I like that a lot.
I would hate this, but you know, it would be funny if there was
like a dog sanctuary. I had to work out for a bit.
I would hate that. It's not very talk what kind of
like that in Benidorm? You want to work in a dog
sanction. You'll get up to three.
The dogs would be Will you tell? Me.
That's not funny. It's not me helping.
Dogs we could. Do.
That down the road like we did there.
No, he doesn't want to just. Trying to think of ideas why.
Don't you just get your wee blind friend and see how long
you can last? That is.
I saw a woman, a blind woman, in Lurgan last week.
If I. Become Am I dead?
So I so I had an idea really quickly and just have to say it.
What have you handcuffed? The most passive aggressive mom
comment of all time. Sorry, hold on.
Check my pulse. Did I die?
I mean it easy. I'm glad I farted on you when
you weren't looking at. Me.
So am I and. You won't be in a second.
Just read it wasn't. Oh, you're sorry, that's the
one. I'm sneaky ones where I'm really
getting the edge of it, but I know there's more common.
My mom's ghost man, that's. Fuck smells like sulfur, which
is not. Here.
Can we get our like toenails done though out there?
Oh man, you haven't seen my feet.
That'll be I couldn't put something through I.
Feel like I don't have good, but let's get our feet done.
I would do it. So I would go for like, I would
go for a full for Manny Petty. Manny Petty.
That's our turn. Manny Petty is my thing that I
pick for us to do. Manny Petty.
Right, I'm doing Aqua Robux. Hey, and then we'll go petty
chill. We'll pet a dog or something.
Folks are shit. No, but you do an evening show.
All right, sticky back. Oh, I'll do the Darth Vader
show. No, I know what we do.
We get a box, say like the singing in the bar starts to a
perform or something. See if we can get Willie to play
7 until 8. So he's a warmer.
I'll do a full R. Half an hour, but Willie.
I'm doing R. You can do Eminem, Willie.
You can do Eminem and Oasis at all.
Feel songs? What show is that?
The Eminem. Oasis.
Busted tribute. No, it's William Thompson live,
and you're doing all that. William Thompson, line singer,
Yeah. Would you do an Eminem show?
I could 100% do that. Oh my.
Well. I.
Will be stepping on toes. There is several.
Oh my God, by the way, by the way, by the way, the most
Partridge thing you've ever said.
I will be stepping on toes there.
There's other benidorms you. Can't make a nominal by breaking
some M and. M's but that's OK you're not
trying to get in there, you're. Trying to muscle and.
You're just we felt with the see whoever the number one Benidorm
M&M guy is, you meet him beforehand.
I follow him on Tech Talk. We could arrange this.
Smashing that's. This is this is you have to.
Do an hour by the way. You don't have to do an hour.
You don't have to do a half an hour show only. 2 tracks like.
No. You're for doing a full.
Art, give me a challenge. All right then, fucking an hour,
no break. Let's see if the first four
Eminem, you can play it. I know what the song is
instantly. I can do it.
You've been to an Eminem show. All right, fucking bin Laden.
Sorry, I don't know why I'd do that.
I'm just trying to call back to the earlier banter.
Thin shady #1. Mr. Dre, my tea is never cold.
It's too hot here. Shoop dog art exhibit.
Come on, Mike, think of a rapper, mate, dog.
But yes, so you're doing that. I'll do Aqua Robux.
Ice pubes. What are you doing him Mani
Petty We're. Going to petty start of the day.
But that can't be the thing unless you're doing a Mani pet,
unless you're like, you have to be like you have boyfriend like.
That was between nail fighter by the way.
I just pointed way too close to my mouth.
See, I was. Like you have boyfriend, you're
Walmart. See, I would want us to do water
sports, but difficult to film, not like a yeah.
Not with Sticky Mickey, you're. Sticky Mickey, I'll be Eminem
and tonight Matthew, you're going to be getting get your
nails done. I want us to challenge three
random guys to a game of volleyball.
Like there'll be locals playing volleyball down the beach.
We we challenge. Benidorm we're.
What? What?
We just have a volleyball. Top guns set.
I won't mind it's. Not there almost 6.
I will mind up a like sporting. Thing to talk to me, duck.
That's more P&O cruise than Tom Cruise.
Like there will be guys doing sports in Benidorm.
No, they're fucking won't. I've told you I've played
parallel. I've been to Paralympic
tournaments and there's more mobility scooters in Benidorm
than Paralympic football. Well, Billy Scooter race.
Don't think you can do it but. Yeah, we can.
We can hire mobility scooters and do a point to point like
orienteering. But you need 3 cameramen.
Nah, 3 Goproofs and 1 cameraman at a certain point.
Let's not leave the production up to you guys.
Yeah, but also. Sorry William, with your
experience. I'm only turning R fucking
Eminem songs like for golf. Yeah, I'm teaching Aqua
aerobics, all right, which is like normal.
I suppose you have that. That's a fitness side of it
then, so maybe I shouldn't be thinking a bit of a sporting
thing. There will be people playing
volley you've never been. There's no sports there at all.
There'll be. Maybe many things to do with the
beach from down the beach. If we could do it like an eating
challenge, find somewheres there, yeah.
Benidorm, we could collect condoms.
A Big Breakfast. You know those things where it's
like if you can finish it, a belly Buster.
If you finish this, you get it for free.
Speak to me. Well, I've been for.
No, no, no. You've been ignoring me.
Actually. The most famous eating challenge
in Benidorm is the Belly Buster at Uncle Ron's.
That's going. To belly Buster now I will
stipulate if I if you take me down to the belly Buster the day
after I've been drinking. We have to do it when we get.
There, you have to let me be hungover.
You'll be the night before at your house.
That's like me going, guys, you have to count on me being short
when we get there and it'll happen.
Well, tell us more about Unclear on Belly Buster.
For the item full English breakfast including four eggs, 4
sausages, 4 bacons, 4 bacon slices, 4 hash Browns, 4
mushrooms, 4 tomatoes, 4 servings of beans, 4 slices of
toast and two bits of fried bread.
Must finish everything within 20 minutes.
Can I swap the tomatoes? Some more sausages.
I mean I. Can't make it hard.
You tell you what, it's halfway hard.
I think we start with Uncle Ron's.
Bell, if you fail, how much ink you have to pay for this fine
breakfast much? 10 year. 12 years.
What the fuck? The three of us can take that
only. I'll chip in.
Yeah. Right.
We start with Uncle Ron's belly, Buster.
Yeah, Then we. Work it off the Aqua aerobics.
Aqua aerobics and then go to Willie's M&M show at night.
What are you doing though? Because I'm.
I'm facilitating the Lauren's Belly Buster.
Well, we need to do 3 activities right?
Or maybe you need to take the aerobics.
Yeah, you take the aerobics? No.
You'd be hilarious. No, no.
Your uncle runs Ballybuster. I know, yeah.
But your Your. Your uncle runs Ballybuster.
Yes, but you will. But you'll tap out quicker than
I will. I'll finish it.
I'll do my and then I'll be afraid to swim for at least two
hours. I'll do my best.
But I'm just saying it might be better.
Yeah. I think we'll probably have to
spread it over a couple of days, but yeah, yeah.
Belly Buster. Belly Buster.
What are what are Robux? Eminem Show.
Eminem Show I don't want Billy Scooter with if I have time.
I just think you really want to go on.
Well, do you know what? Do you know what we should do?
There'll be a mobility scooter you can get three people on
because I saw them in Tenerife. So if you hook up a GoPro and
then. You can just do it when the film
crew isn't there, Mickey, you can just.
But I walk through a walk through.
The filming crew? It's you, and falsely.
Can we joist joist on mobility centers?
It might be fun to get first impressions of Benidorm.
Sorry. On the, you know, one end of the
strip to the other. Just observing.
Yeah, observing. Let's.
Get this book now, boys for the press group.
We're going to Ben Dormley, so. Three are Eminem.
Benidorm, Benidorm Benidorm. Big jam boarding pass for you.
Classic GIMP suit. But you brought it.
You're like, oh, don't be anywhere.
That's his luggage. I will say the John Borden pass
is banter that I will always love.
It's. Always.
It's. Always fun like stop oil with
somebody on a stagger so he puts a like the stags of stop oil
T-shirt on a plane. First time I ever saw it I was
like fucking stupid cunt and then I realized it was a bet
like a dare thing and I thought that is top class banter.
Yeah, I some stag stuff I don't like some of it's really fucking
mean. Oh God no, I actually love that
I. Can't lie, Joel, I think would
be fantastic banter as well. And it's I've just seen it on
Tech Talk once as fellas in a cafe in Amsterdam smoking weed
and then setting a timer every time someone goes into the red
light district and the one of the prezzies.
Oh, and like a. Plot.
Yeah. Phenomenal banter like.
You don't like the mean banter stuff on?
Not the mean stuff. The cute banter though, like I
saw another one as well which was everybody buys each other AT
shirt to wear in the airport so there's no rules but it's just a
case of like doing like sacred Santa for embarrassing T-shirts.
That's good because some people are going to play it
conservatively. I would be horrendous.
Oh my God, I've got one of the house that I wear.
Do we do this? That just says like it says,
drive fast, eat us. I remember I bought Butler in
Tenerife where he was having a 30th where me, Dave, David Meade
and Butler's mate Ryan just went to Tenerife because Butler's
like lads. Butler for his 30th.
Butler goes lad. You guys.
He goes, I'm never going to have a stag do.
So he goes come out for my 30th for a couple of nights in
Tenerife and we'll it's my stag and my birthday all the one.
So on this first day he goes, Dave was like, we've got to do
something. If it's this is your unofficial
stag, you're never going to have a stag.
We'll have to do something. And Butler goes, well, buy me
something unaware for going to the water park and he had to
wear it all day. And I, me and Dave went to this
clone job and there was all like, you know, rude slogan
T-shirts. But I saw one that went, that's
good because it's, it's not clear whether he's wearing it
for a bet or he's bought it and thinks it's funny.
But I bought him. It was like a loading thing.
And it said fart loading 99% like a status bar thing with
like a Wii machine on it. And he hated it because it
wasn't clear that it was like a that's for a bet.
People were like, what the fuck? Big fart loading T-shirt he
hated. It.
He hated it. That's good.
I like it. That's.
Fun Down Under Reform UK T-shirt.
Just had himself. It'll be good goggle in the wee
mechanical boom. That'll be another fun game.
We can send the mechanical the longest if he grabs it with the
palsy hand like. What the Famously, we can't.
Though it's really strong. You hit me with it.
Remember, it's preloaded. No, I can throw it, but I can't
grip. With it All right, OK.
Hit me with your palsy hand. Hit me.
I can throw it like that but I
can't grip like no grips. Relax and glove on down.
Keeps your band hit your left comedian box again.
It's not. So you hit the backyard down.
Paddy's back in the gentleman. Didn't tell anyone.
What's Patty back at the gym for?
In the bag every week you say something.
Was in a boxing. I'm just saying if anybody wants
to raise some money for a good 'cause I know what thing we
could do. Is this how Don King pitches the
Tyson? Just a few.
Yes, yeah. Fucking no.
It's so so it's. My boxing promoter name was Don
Kebab. It's the percent we're talking
about. Make you organize it and I'll go
and watch. Evander Holyfield with Slabber
about you, Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Evander, Holy Land. He says you would endure a bit
as. You can't fight.
Tyson No, Chris. Crazy.
So crazy. Says better here, no balls.
Shape boxers say what? Well, he's only he likes you,
but he was just. He says you couldn't box eggs.
It's just weird. He just said something like it's
weird, like the way he said like.
You said you're really good. Yeah, you said you're really.
Good, that would fucking. Make, but he said you're really
good. But you're not, he said.
You're not that good, but he said you're good, but not as
good as you. Thank you.
He. Was saying to me you were good
man. I heard him talking to his.
My dreams just put on my face. Is the way he said he said you
were going to be said like good? Just don't, Queen.
No. I thought it be a pocket
promoter. He does this so bad.
Are you getting boys head so easily?
No A. 100%. No, he says.
Like he says you and him would be a good match, but he says you
probably like you probably wouldn't want to do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he says. You don't like get hit now, he
says. Can't.
Yeah. Did you get any surgery because
he said you've glass jar or something.
I didn't know you had that dog. Yeah.
He said something about you. I can't remember what it was but
it rhyme with baguette. He said.
He said you'd no Chen. Forget.
Yes. CTE.
Yeah, said you've got CTE because you're.
I can't think of any of these because I'm a nice person.
Then I don't see the headline this week from Rabbi Shmuley,
who says if you're not, if you're not circumcised, you've
lost your connection to Jesus. Correct?
Correct. I suppose you better get down
the hospital. Get dumb boys that.
Way you got done, the hospital, why do Yeah.
Why do you think you get it though, Singers?
Same place that cuts like big bits of cardboard.
It's like. Cardboard.
And be more like one of those old things you do to check with
Chunk. Chunk.
But Willie? Does it hurt?
Yeah. Do they do they knock you out
for it? You can either be knocked out or
you can be like. I've been knocked the fuck out
I. Was I was like.
I've been knocking them out. Do they put a curtain across
your bellies? You don't see it?
Or can you see them do it? Curtain across, but you don't
want the look. I just didn't look at any point
I. Can't look whenever they're
taking blood out of me. Like never mind taking a bed off
Macaque. See, now I think back to it.
Wild. So wild.
Yeah, so you went down with a sore tooth?
The worst part is the injections.
That's the only bet you feel. So they inject your whole Willy
or just your Willy? The base right a couple of
times. Right, I am not.
Right in the Willies armpit. I'm not being dirty, I just out
of curiosity, do you have to pump it up a bit or can you go
in soft? I don't think anybody was in
erect. I don't think anybody's walking
their legs. Fuck out, take it off.
I love this but. You injecting a soft Willy?
You have the base. Like trying to inject play DoH
no. You inject the base of it.
You're saying there's not enough?
It's if. There's no base.
It's all treble. Yeah, mine, mine's.
I was like one of those wheat eaters that.
Live I don't have a base. Have a base.
No, obviously you go in soft. Imagine you're Willy's armpit.
That's what they inject you. By the way, you know what we
talk about comedians Willie like just with the gold stage and
Willie gets a bit small. You you've never had it more
than when you're getting circumcised.
Oh, yeah. You feel like going this is not
a you know what Andrew says about podcast slips?
He's like, this is not a fair representation of me.
You're like, it's not. Yeah.
Would they not do it if you went there with a boner?
Yes, there would not know. There's no way.
They would not do it. Why?
By the way, there's nothing about the atmosphere that's
going to turn you on. Nurses, come on guys.
Come on. Oh guys, they're cut your.
What if? What if I really like just the
beeping of machines? But then you'll be able to.
Route got every drop around my neck and all like.
That's why you can't take him to a car park.
He's a lorry back then. See the first time you look at
it. Yeah.
It looks. Harsh.
I would say so. Is it like when you get?
Your black stitches went. Too far in, yeah.
So that's the state though I thought that I always thought
that I cauterized it. What do you mean?
Like the soldered what? No the.
Stitch. It's not loose wire meat they.
Caught it, right? I mean in me.
They caught it with a scalpel off.
Mine and. Then they they show.
That game. They show the top of it, the
under the linear helmet. Oh, they show it.
Well, stead, yes. So whatever.
See I thought it'd be like cutting the arms off a jacket,
like it would just do when people just slap.
Around it really, and it would still go up and down.
You'd have less of it, but it would still go up and.
Oh. Right.
OK. Like when you open a pepper on
me. Exactly, Yeah.
Right. OK, Yeah.
Yeah, I get you now. How long was it before you had a
a wank like after you had your circumcision?
3 1/2 minutes sore thing I've ever done.
You hurry up and stitch on, I'll fuck you.
I'm possum for. Weeks you're not looking at it
for, weeks it's. Someone else had been
circumcised and all that. He's like the three to four
weeks after you just you can't do anything.
You would have to be the horniest guy in the world.
No, but I mean even he was like, you can barely walk around.
It's so raw. Well, I went for a walk that day
because they go, they go see for days.
Don't do it. Don't exercise out.
Like don't go for a walk. Obviously stay around the house,
be very careful. And what I heard was you'll be
all right. And I went for I'd say like a
two mile walk that day because I was just like, get out of the
house, get some air. And then it got infected.
You're your dad. You should have kept.
You should have kept on your chargers.
Yeah. True got infected.
Let the air get at that. I went down and I said to the
guy who did it, got like an appointment and I was like,
yeah, I'm just worried there's like maybe an infection or
something. And I went like, I barely have
my jeans down. He's like, yeah.
Yeah, that Resident Evil boss that's between your legs.
It's fucking wild. You're your dad's son.
Like like oh, you should probably stay in to my walk.
My if. I if they told me you need to go
for it to my walk, I still wouldn't.
Do it by the way, you're the phrase.
You're your dad's son. Real silly.
Yeah, Obviously. Yeah.
Doing. Yeah, speak for.
Yourself. Yeah, not fair enough.
Yeah, you might have some so harsh because when I had that,
like when I had the operation on my ghoulies and I was about 12,
I was about six weeks where I just didn't move at all.
So yeah, Magooly. You know me, love.
I truly. Like it?
Thank you but but yeah, fucking. Did you mourn the loss of.
No, I, I said. But the reason I'm actually
happy with it when it was healed up and stuff and then you're
like, right, I'm going to have a wee ham shandy here.
Did you have to do it different? Obviously, you've no fortune.
You you need Lube. You you've known pull back,
think yeah, like you you literally like yeah, you can't
do you know, we were doing before Yeah.
So you have you need like. Does it take anything off the
exercise you're really? No.
I might get it done for the aesthetics.
Depends how I guess I bunched up at the top.
Your foreskin is you big hanging off like top of self this hat
and probably. My yeah mine looks like.
Casper's Time. Mine looks like, do you know
when you're not on your way home from a holiday and you're not
packing the clothes? Yeah, you're bundling it up.
That's what I got. Oh yeah, might.
Yeah. Mine's more like mine's kind of
like PE socks stuffed in each other.
I can't remember the look of do you know like so see if I go to
look at it, I'm not expecting to see a 40 foreskin even know how
to force him for so long that make sense.
But so even now, if you could picture your Willy the Force
game. I don't pitch it with force
game. But if you if you had to.
I'd struggle, yeah. Do you keep?
It are we asking this before? Oh yeah, I know.
But that's. I I, I think personally I
everyone different. I think mine looks better now.
Oh, they do look. They do look better.
Willy's do look better when out of force game, there's no doubt.
Yeah, I would like to keep mine, frame it and just have the
words. Peter Schmekel.
It's a good reason to get it done.
Yeah, just for the to. Get it done.
What's what's the reason for this procedure?
This will be funny. Yeah, yeah.
Dan bought me a framing Amazon on the banana.
Is this funny? I'm just imagining you at the
framers do. You do millimeters.
Is it a certificate? No.
It's a. It's a weird one for a 50th.
I would get it. Just keep it on an urn to like
when somebody tiny like someone's ashes.
You wear his pinky. No, because get the near
stretcher. Oh.
Having that like around the side of the stretch.
We're getting into the territory where after this, well, we
should take it over the after. Yes, we should.
But what? We're going to keep talking with
Foreskins because, well, I can tell you this now.
I once watched. I don't know if it was keep it.
Nope, I can keep you on. I don't.
Should you go to the? Office, he says keep it.
OK, I'll just keep it. Where are we going after?
Just go to The Afters, Join us on The Afters, go to patron.com,
forth as lazy boys with his head and see all the other shit we've
done, which is usually talking about this sort of stuff.
Yeah, We'll see you over there, guys.
Come see me also. Go ahead.
Come see me on tour. Touch grass tickets are sell
very well out of shows in Bangor, which is nearly sold out
in Glasgow, Dublin and possibly Cork as well as all my other
dates. Also, come see me in the
Edinburgh French. Folkshanetalkcomedy.com America
some good, some bad. Australia in October is looking
good. Shane Talk comedy.com for those.
I'm doing 1 show in October. It's not on sale yet but it will
be in mickeybordercomedy.com depending on when this goes out.
Oh this is 2 weeks now. It probably is on sale.
Mickey Border comedy.com.