1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,080 Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and everybody in betwixt, 2 00:00:02,080 --> 00:00:03,240 welcome to the Lazy Boys podcast. 3 00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:05,640 It's me, Mickey Bartlett. Me, William Thompson. 4 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:09,160 And today we've got a special guest, the delectable the 5 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:11,040 cunnilingual Leanne Mccurry, ladies and gentlemen. 6 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:12,880 Thank you. Thank you for having me. 7 00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:15,920 Let's first of all a girl on. I was going to say it's a lazy 8 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:19,160 gal, an idol broad. A lesbian, a bi, and a going to 9 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:20,360 heaven. Yeah, class. 10 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:22,520 Unreal. I mean, that's the only joke I 11 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:24,000 made-up for this. So that's me done. 12 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:25,560 That's more than I've done anyway. 13 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,360 Yeah, maybe this is heaven. Everything with that. 14 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:31,000 Fuck, it'd be terrible. So we'll take it Denzies away 15 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,120 with she and then I, I yeah, looks like. 16 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:37,080 Denzi keeps taking our special boy like Denzi's our reserve 17 00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:38,480 boy, and Shane keeps taking them. 18 00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:39,560 Away. You're our special boy. 19 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:42,000 Johnny. Free, Carlo. 20 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:44,280 So what am I now? Am IA special. 21 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:45,360 You're part of the crew, part of the ship. 22 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,280 Special mom. You you'll mould in them, 23 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,440 curtains and all, like I've been here for 25 years. 24 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:50,920 I mould in the curtains all the time. 25 00:00:55,360 --> 00:01:01,400 That's a fussy little joke. Oh, I just go through steps 26 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:01,640 ahead. They. 27 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:05,600 Call me Harry Corey. Follow me Harry Krishna that 28 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,880 change your life. I'm not going to have a fucking 29 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:09,400 consuming you to go for a. Culture. 30 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:10,640 I don't know what you're saying. Why? 31 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,520 Is that full culture? You know, culture. 32 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:14,600 I'm a cult. I'm from the countryside. 33 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,560 I'm really like one more. I can yell. 34 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:19,600 I yell now. See. 35 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,600 If I don't know that. You're a culture I know. 36 00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:23,880 I know that's what you think. If you can't see Harden a wolf 37 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:26,240 100%, yeah, we probably are cousins. 38 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:27,640 Like, yeah. Do you think? 39 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:30,160 Are you food culture or are you culture adjacent? 40 00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:35,800 I suppose geographically I'd be full, I'd be full culture, but I 41 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,120 wouldn't be culturally a culture. 42 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:38,880 Right. Geographically I'm the same. 43 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:41,680 I'd be geographically culture, but culturally a, you know, a 44 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,880 world traveller. Hello. 45 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:45,520 I did. I have to borrow my Maz car 46 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:49,280 today because the wagons in the shop and I realized that I have 47 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:52,560 culture bits of me because my man drives a Datsya Sundaro. 48 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,560 Oh and as I was driving I heard myself out loud say the word of 49 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:58,640 some poke when I show up. Flying machines are. 50 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:01,280 I'm not a 10 can. We're fucking a 2 liter peddler. 51 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,520 Just fuck flan. I overtook a naughty. 52 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:05,040 Poke in this yield. Cloudy. 53 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,720 You're not a culture? No problem. 54 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,880 I overtook 1. Yeah, but you'd call it naughty. 55 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:11,760 Oh, I call it naughty all right, because. 56 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:13,120 We're world travelers. You're a world traveller. 57 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:15,520 Exactly. Yeah, I sprackens the Deutsch, 58 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,080 you know. Phileas, Bartlett. 59 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,200 Phileas in this I don't know. I've got nothing. 60 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,320 I've got nothing. I'm no, I'm fucked today. 61 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:25,680 How would I do so? 100 someone just. 62 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:27,680 Like, oh, do you see? I got badly sunburned. 63 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,160 I did see that actually what happened. 64 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:30,640 How do you manage that? So. 65 00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:32,920 Well, there's a thing called the sun, yeah. 66 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,600 Dick Yeah, which we don't read because it's Prince Lies, but we 67 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:41,280 went went sunbathing and I was looking for sun cream, found 68 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,400 Canon oil, thought that's the. Same difference. 69 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:45,600 That's the exact same thing. It's not. 70 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,640 Canon Oil. Tanning oil. 71 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:49,960 I was wondering. Canon oil. 72 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,320 I was like what the fuck? That's like. 73 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:58,320 One in the 1800s. I like when it turns black. 74 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:02,520 I'm like, do we tester what at the start? 75 00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:06,480 This is all going to be Dick jokes I. 76 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,160 Hear you open with that fucking Fanny. 77 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:09,560 Joke. Well, that's me done there. 78 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:14,440 We'll do Fanny jokes as well. We like to hit all the areas. 79 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,480 OK, Rogers Jones. Zoom, zoom all the walls. 80 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:22,400 So where are we sunbathing? Up in my gym, up in my, up in 81 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:26,040 the David Lloyds, it's a nice sweet health club. 82 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:30,080 This was a tanning bed incident as opposed to an alfresco 83 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,320 incident. Who the fuck's alfresco? 84 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,600 What's he been telling you? Don't listen to him. 85 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:37,080 Not evidence it was out in the sun bed. 86 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,640 Right. OK, not a tanning bed like you 87 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:42,880 were out like on a lounger. Actually, yes, lounger on an 88 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:44,640 actual sun bed by the poodle, right? 89 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:47,560 It's a very nice club. I will say, Joe, that's kind of 90 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,960 culture to get fucking roasted on an 18° day like. 91 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:51,600 I know, I know. Do you want to see me? 92 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:52,720 Put a ginger in you. Nah. 93 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:59,080 Oh yeah, there's ginger in my back. 94 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:03,800 No, I want a finger old. You don't enjoy 2 fellas hands 95 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,000 up there. I'll show you. 96 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,840 Hang on, Lost. Do you want me to hold your big 97 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:09,480 cup for your back? Thank you Mommy. 98 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,840 Right, check the shit out. I'm like 2 faced. 99 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:14,120 I'm peeling it. Not yet. 100 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:15,160 See. What it does you give me a. 101 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:16,600 Shot, I'll feed you and Cal Kenny stick it over. 102 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:21,519 You're like carbon. I'll show the camera 1st. 103 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:24,800 That's not that bad. That's not that bad. 104 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:25,440 That's. Not that bad. 105 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:29,640 It's went down the day after it was pure purple. 106 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:32,760 That's not that. Bad that that that Instagram 107 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:36,200 story was was. You looked red. 108 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,400 You looked like his fucking T-shirt. 109 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:42,680 No, the day after it was like pure, like an alcoholic's nose, 110 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,640 purple, like didn't bless her, but it was sore so. 111 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:47,160 It was interesting though. You said like an alcoholic's 112 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:48,400 nose and then looked at mine for a wee second. 113 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,360 An alcoholic? I just know how to have a good 114 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:54,080 time, Bobby. But it was fucking because it 115 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:57,360 was on one side of my body, because I just didn't change how 116 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,200 I was sitting the whole day. Every time I went to sleep I had 117 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,840 the lion, my left side and then I would turn over and my right 118 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:05,920 side would just go on. Fire I once got somewhere when I 119 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,120 was a kid, I was lying on a beach and donegall somewhere, 120 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:12,160 you know, as as you do, and my mom put tiles over me to stop me 121 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,320 getting sunburned, but messed just the wee bit of my thighs 122 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:16,200 below my earthquake like bum cheeks. 123 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:20,600 And then it just was like fucked just a bit awake. 124 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,200 Like she's like, we're going home, That's all this shit. 125 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:23,680 And I was like, we'll just stand up in the car. 126 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,160 She put a tile over here. She. 127 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,120 Put tiles all over me, like over my head, over my back, and then 128 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,320 there's one weak gap. Looking like someone had died. 129 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,200 On this age stage, you know, like a pile of iron. 130 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:36,240 Yeah, I often do like, but I think my mom was thinking his 131 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:40,600 big old badonkles shade him from the sun and some Holden was 7. 132 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:43,480 Like did you? Oh Jesus Christ, a wagonite was 133 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:44,720 dragon, right? Yeah. 134 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,520 Sexy. Yeah, he grew into that arse, 135 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,000 that boy. Did grow into it, I did. 136 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:51,160 And that's growing, yeah. Grew into my cock too. 137 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:56,960 I agree mate, that's some cock. When I was 7 stayed that. 138 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:01,000 Oh yeah, it's terrible. Seen the size that baby's neck 139 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:06,920 on that man? Oh wow. 140 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:10,360 Jeremy Beetle's thumb. No, it's just like other hand. 141 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:17,320 Don't be, Don't be. Sorry, so Bunker, you were at 142 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:18,600 the weekend. We were both done. 143 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,040 Oh, you were there as well. Well, I was in moth. 144 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:22,640 Actually, you were in moth TE. Tell you. 145 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,360 What one of the best nights ever Had a gig and I got there 6:50 146 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:27,920 and we walked out of the gig at 7:50. 147 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,800 Yeah, job done. Free bottle of whiskey. 148 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:32,720 Class I got. To give you all the general 149 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:34,000 whiskey. Yeah, fucking hell. 150 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,000 Yeah, it was very kind. I wasn't expecting that. 151 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:38,160 I know. Would you like whiskey, gin or 152 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:40,000 vodka? I was like, eh, take a gin. 153 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:41,800 Thanks very much. You said, you said to me, which 154 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:45,600 is like whiskey's and vodka. I went, ah, just what I need to 155 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:48,640 dodge there. Was also Haribo and dairy milks 156 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,600 and crisps. Zion and Tommy McCarthy was 157 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:52,480 there just planting a load of Haribo, I would tell. 158 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,280 You something right now, you missed you. 159 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:59,680 Stay over next time. I was fucking steaming for three 160 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,800 full days and I've never had a better weekend. 161 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:05,360 I got a message from a pub owner in Moncana who went Mickey, you 162 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:07,760 came through this time like a fucking tornado and everybody's 163 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,520 hungover and I was like, fucking us. 164 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,600 Good mom. Freddie you? 165 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:12,880 Were very excited about that whole. 166 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:14,840 I couldn't wait to get out. I was like, I was buzzing 167 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:16,680 because it was like a good, good weather. 168 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,400 I was doing 20s. Yeah, yeah. 169 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,960 You had the excitement for it that I have for this weekend 170 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,520 where we're in Kilcan. I tell you how fucking good it 171 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:28,080 was the hotel I was staying in. I went, we were out all night. 172 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,560 I went back to the hotel, I went as the bottom of the residence 173 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,840 bar open and the fella in the hotel went. 174 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:34,760 Well Sir, if you're drinking, I'm drinking too. 175 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:38,280 Hey? And me and him set up to half 176 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:40,400 six in the morning. Was this in the Lake of Shadows? 177 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,120 The Lake of Shadows. I probably shouldn't sit out 178 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:43,600 loud because you get in trouble, but. 179 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,960 We go out together, you go to bed by like half 12 but some 180 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:50,720 random can't work it for free. The guy in the desk at the Shine 181 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,080 and you'll stay up with him to have. 182 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,320 Sex. It was for free, you know what I 183 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:55,560 mean? Get me drunk enough, you know 184 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,520 it's for free as well. That's true. 185 00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,440 Fuck me, you're not paying for anything that's. 186 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:00,960 Fucking horseshit. The last time me and you went 187 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,160 out, you fucked off after the big platter of meat. 188 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:04,360 You're like, I'm stuffed, I'm going to go home. 189 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:06,520 No, I. Was that a euphemism or what? 190 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,800 No, we just we just got just a board of meats it. 191 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:10,880 Was classic. It was. 192 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:13,000 The best happened. All day because you're bored. 193 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:16,720 I went out because you went I want to go do a gig and I went, 194 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:19,240 no, I want to keep drinking. I kept drinking like. 195 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,000 Yeah, but to do again, I'm not fucking going to work drunk. 196 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,160 That's. Why you'll never be as God? 197 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,240 Forgive. What is that all about? 198 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,160 What like I I. Wouldn't be averse to it. 199 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:30,800 I most of the gigs I did in my place I was drunk. 200 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:33,320 He's unprofessional bastards. No, that means you're class at 201 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:34,600 it. If you're a bus driver, you 202 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:35,840 wouldn't show up drunk now. I would. 203 00:08:36,039 --> 00:08:38,120 It depends. If I was driving a glider 204 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,320 fucking right, I would go. We didn't see me swing a hole in 205 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:43,440 this thing. It's a noise I'd make because I 206 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,000 don't know how to hamburger A. Blast sound like a tired actor. 207 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:51,240 You know I can't say that word. What's crack with yourself, 208 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:51,880 Leon? Just. 209 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,400 The huge mate. Just the huge I. 210 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,040 Don't know what the huge is that's. 211 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,960 Being me, just being, being horrible. 212 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:00,520 You're not horrible hitting on people. 213 00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:02,640 You're not a horrible person. You're a lovely, lovely woman. 214 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:05,200 Not a horrible person, but. Fuck me, you can make a good 215 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,320 tray beak. So everybody says, I know it 216 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:08,640 didn't bring any, I'm very sorry. 217 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,840 I want to say something though, I thought you didn't drink. 218 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:12,440 No. Do you drink? 219 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:17,960 I'm just not very good at it. Sensei, I'll teach you another 220 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:18,560 thing. Yeah. 221 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,040 No, I'm not. I'm not great. 222 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,920 I don't like losing control. Do you know that you wouldn't be 223 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:23,760 losing control? With us, no. 224 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:24,560 But, you know, whatever. Do. 225 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:27,280 You know, whatever you hit that relaxation plan. 226 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,480 Nope. I'm like, no. 227 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:31,240 What are you? Are you? 228 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:33,760 Are you honestly drunk? No, not at all. 229 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:36,720 Not at all. I'm a very, very tactile, the 230 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:39,480 first friendly it Not unless you're good looking. 231 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:45,360 I no, not at all, not at all. Very very very friendly, not 232 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:47,480 contrary and just love hugging people and all. 233 00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:49,360 You hug when you used to project. 234 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:51,840 Oh God. I yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 235 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,360 yeah. Where's that Christmas Gen. 236 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,560 Dam? Let's get a coggle. 237 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,880 What are you? Is there actually Jen over? 238 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,280 Yeah, it was Shane's Christmas Present 2023. 239 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:01,960 Very good. Who? 240 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:07,000 Got me and I can't take it home because because it was a 241 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,040 present. You can. 242 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,600 Yes, you can. It's not a present anymore. 243 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,840 How long has it been here? There's there's about 5 bottles 244 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,640 of gin in this building that have been present for him for 245 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,360 the last two or three years. But I bought gin. 246 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:19,720 No, clearly not. He he hates when you're buying 247 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,680 presents and you know he doesn't like it goes ah, cheers. 248 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,400 Like he can't. He can't disguise that he 249 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,520 doesn't like it. Yeah, if it doesn't say Beckham 250 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:27,480 on the back of he doesn't give a fuck. 251 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,480 I got one that said semen. He's like, why would you get me 252 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:30,480 this? I'm like, because you like 253 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:31,440 football? And semen. 254 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:34,000 And semen. Yeah, you'd hate it. 255 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,720 I know. Have you ever asked a day in 256 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,240 your life? No, no, I have not. 257 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,480 Never. You never even tried it. 258 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:45,480 I had one in my hand one night. Was it attached to someone? 259 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:51,320 Or yeah, it was. It won't come off. 260 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:57,440 You were doing it wrong. Yeah, no, but I've never, you 261 00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,440 know, I've never, I've never spoken to one. 262 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:03,760 No, no. Sprack in sea dirt no. 263 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:09,720 Definitely not, no. No this thing on any students 264 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,360 in. But you gave on a cuddle after a 265 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,360 few drinks, did I right? OK. 266 00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:16,440 And you just knew immediately all the. 267 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:19,080 Don't make water hot enough to scrub that shit off. 268 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,640 She's not wrong. Like how many times a day you 269 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,840 go? My hands was like Dick. 270 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:25,760 All the time. Yeah, brutal. 271 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:27,320 Especially when I'm about to go out. 272 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,040 I'm like, why is my hands back? Touch my Dick. 273 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:32,040 I was just what, like probably lingers. 274 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:33,680 I'm going to get this lingered, actually. 275 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:35,280 Yeah. No, not for me. 276 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:36,800 Not for me, No. No. 277 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,560 I wasn't a friendly. We like guess we go another to 278 00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:42,360 see the crackers like. It wasn't a fucking Game Boy 279 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:47,360 like it was a fucking 1989. When we says it's my turn on the 280 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,960 cock. And deck dress. 281 00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:58,880 One up. No, no, it was, it was, it was 282 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:03,960 after some sort of, you know, party night out, some sort of. 283 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:06,400 Why do you talk like an alien who's just came to Earth? 284 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,960 It was after some because. You're here and I need to 285 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:12,240 fucking. I'm familiar with a party, Leon, 286 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,280 are you? It was like after Are you 287 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:17,040 familiar with the party after some sort of party night out? 288 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:19,520 Are you familiar with the fucking party? 289 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,280 Are you with the yes? I hate your kind. 290 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:29,200 I think I'm lesbian. Yeah, 2 stereotypes. 291 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:30,800 The price of 1. So it's after some sort of 292 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:34,040 beverage taking Suarez, yes. Yeah, it was after it was over a 293 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:37,680 night out in the relic in Yuri Do where that is No fuck. 294 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:38,680 Off Then no. Desire. 295 00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:41,560 Even I don't know. Where that is you're probably 296 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:42,800 not be changed that stage. What did you? 297 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:47,320 29 Fuck off. Yeah, so in a taxi too. 298 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:51,200 Yeah, dark. My girl wants to party all the 299 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:53,280 time. So then did that your next time 300 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,360 I'll just pay the fire. No. 301 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,960 The one would do you realize I thought it was a gear stick. 302 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,960 No, I was in, I was in the back with it with some some young 303 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:03,640 fellow that just came in for the crack. 304 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:08,240 So we'll take a lift and then it's just all it all went per 305 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:09,440 shaped. You know. 306 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:13,160 And yeah, it was brutal. Fuck, he said something like 307 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,040 come in your taxi for the banter overlook. 308 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:19,000 For the banter. Everybody's had a back of a taxi 309 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,880 experience where you go, ah, that was bad. 310 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:27,800 Now that was bad. I like, I like be in the back of 311 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,840 a taxi with the lady and she literally held her hand back up 312 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:31,960 like that. I thought the driver couldn't 313 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,800 see what was going on. I was like, he can 100% he was 314 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:35,560 going. On like. 315 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,000 You're dead. He's. 316 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,800 Like you're a merry. Pot and it's just like and by 317 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:43,800 the way you talk about yourself. What did she just like, lob it? 318 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,560 I was like, hi, I can see you're deadly. 319 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,320 I said taxi drivers will never complain if someone gets. 320 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,080 Attacked. I reckon taxi driver and taxis 321 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,040 have stopped after that video during COVID. 322 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,560 Yeah, there's no way I'd have that anymore. 323 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,480 Which one was that? Oh, them too. 324 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,280 They were right. OK. 325 00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:04,960 I can't be he was the. Taxi driver's the weirdest one 326 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,280 out of all. Of that I would say they see 327 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,360 some fucking weird shit though every weekend like if you ever 328 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:11,680 if you ever see it like get I got picked up by a taxi at 8:00 329 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:15,360 on a Sunday morning right and the guy had done it all like no, 330 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,280 but the guy had done an all nighter and I was like how you 331 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:22,200 getting on? He's like, and he just like 332 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,800 ranted about the amount of weird shitty team. 333 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:28,120 Yeah, and in the space of 2-3 hours in Lurgan, like there must 334 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,680 be a fucking horrible. Team and I get picked up there 335 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,840 and they've done it all nighter. I'll just go. 336 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,680 I don't really want to talk to you. 337 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:36,800 And he's like Nah and I'm like powerful five stars. 338 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:40,120 I just not speak. That wouldn't fly down in your. 339 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,000 Eye so we've no Uber down Lurgan like. 340 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,920 Yeah, no, I've. Actually the phones but there in 341 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:48,360 10 minutes. I don't mind like a wee chat but 342 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,840 see if it's I'm sending out vibes and I'm like I don't 343 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,120 really want to talk. See, in an Uber, I talk at you. 344 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:54,720 An Uber, I'll often go, man, I'm really sorry. 345 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:55,640 I've got a bit of work to do huge. 346 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,520 If I put my headphones in and then I put the headphones in, 347 00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:59,640 don't listen to music in case he's talking a bit more. 348 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:03,160 Jesus, that's the most paranoid shit I've heard in a long. 349 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,280 Time I also did one time I got to get a taxi to the Stand 350 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,720 comedy club and the guy was like, who's on your night? 351 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,000 And I went, Oh, I don't know. It was like, because I didn't, I 352 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,840 didn't want to get into the conversation about, Oh, I'm a 353 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,160 comedian because you always end up like fucking who's your 354 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,320 favorite one of you met this, you know, who's fucking Brendan 355 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,520 Roy, all that shit. And he goes, what do you do? 356 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:21,800 And I just told him my dad's job when all working shorts in 357 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,720 Belfast building aircraft parts. He goes, my brother works and 358 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,240 then all of a sudden I'm pretended and I I was like, I 359 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:28,960 should have just fucking told him as a comedian. 360 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:30,760 When you say you were civil servant. 361 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:32,240 Didn't even think, I just panicked. 362 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,160 I don't think he's going to be that chatty like. 363 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,720 Bad times, I know. I was a guy, yes, the Flandry. 364 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:41,680 I think it was an inside job, you know? 365 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:43,160 Yeah. What would you be doing if you 366 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:45,480 weren't a comedian? Don't say something's fucking. 367 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:46,680 Probably civil service to be honest. 368 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:50,840 I'd say you're a teacher. Nah, I didn't say a good one. 369 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,520 Oh yeah, I'd be one of them teachers. 370 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,360 Like fucking. You don't know how the world 371 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:56,080 works. Guys, don't watch a video. 372 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:59,840 Fuck off and watch one. Well, watch a video. 373 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:04,480 No way she's faking that. We see this taxi driver. 374 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:10,680 What would you do? Probably a teacher. 100%. 375 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:14,520 I'd be a good teacher like. You'd be a technology assistant, 376 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:18,440 that's what you'd be. Yeah, we want the one handed 377 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:20,360 fucking Craftsman. Exactly. 378 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:22,040 They'd be all like. They'd have to give you the job 379 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,920 and be like. OK, you've to build me a new 380 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:25,640 splint. Come on in, everybody. 381 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:29,160 All Willie works here, Willie. You do work here, don't you, 382 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,200 Willie? Willie can't use the base. 383 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,720 That's his advice. That's the problem. 384 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:40,080 I would. Love. 385 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:43,080 You'd put your arm on a gut and kids put bits of wood and sound 386 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:43,600 it. You just fucking. 387 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:46,320 Well, you can't. That's my drunk truck. 388 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:47,560 And people are like, how disabled are you? 389 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:48,600 It's like the sword and the stone. 390 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,400 You can't straighten that arm at all. 391 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:52,720 At all. It's the most culture reaction 392 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,280 of our at all now, not even at all. 393 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:58,040 Sure, you go get the go. I'm not touching that. 394 00:16:58,080 --> 00:16:59,720 Guy touch it, get the fuck? What do you mean like straighten 395 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:03,720 it like? I'm not tensing. 396 00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:07,040 That's mad, I didn't know that. Joe's really funny as well. 397 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:08,160 If you do this, enough water comes out of. 398 00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:13,440 His life. Oh lazy boys. 399 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:16,000 Merch mate, it's just a wee. Statue on me. 400 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:20,160 The same with the Africa. There's a wee Willy will. 401 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:24,640 Imagine getting stuck on the bottom of a Willy will. 402 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,280 And then you find that it's for choker in your fucking fume. 403 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:30,560 Everyone's doing shirts and hats. 404 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:33,280 No one's doing well. Let's do it. 405 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:33,760 Yeah. Give it a go. 406 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:34,600 Give it a go. Don't hurt me. 407 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:35,880 What? Transfer it. 408 00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:42,520 Really see if you try to put downs down it goes shut up. 409 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,720 That was a bit like that experience in the taxi. 410 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:53,080 I wish you lowered, wish you lowered. 411 00:17:53,160 --> 00:18:02,080 Most of the time we get out. Oh, anyway. 412 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:05,120 Class What about you? What? 413 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,280 What do you do? Do you still run the cafe? 414 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:09,840 Are you? Fucking serious? 415 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,160 Serious. Is there something wrong with 416 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:11,440 you? Like. 417 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:12,920 She's yeah, she's a pillar of the community. 418 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,360 Is there something wrong? Yeah, we just did 5 minutes. 419 00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:18,160 Here, have you done any gigs in the cafe over the last two 420 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,560 years, you fucking plum? What you really is a mental 421 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:25,640 health counselor and the berate you just give him. 422 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,440 I think you're going to lose a few appointments. 423 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:32,280 What I. Mean voices. 424 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,040 There's one people, one person speaking. 425 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:38,040 You're mad cunt. One people I no it closed two 426 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:42,360 years ago that's that forms most of my act that you don't 427 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:45,360 obviously watch do you miss it? No, no, incorrect. 428 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:47,640 No, I don't miss it at. All what do you do? 429 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:52,400 Now then, I work in my granny and granddad's convenience 430 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:53,840 store. It's a shop. 431 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,120 Sorry I probably over explained that. 432 00:18:55,120 --> 00:19:02,800 Called Sad Lad. 7:00 to 9:15. Close Zombies. 433 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:08,720 I wish so do that and then I also do a bit of gigging and I I 434 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,200 am actually a counsellor. Thank you, Michael. 435 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,680 You're a mental health counsellor. 436 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:12,920 Fuck. It's very good one too, she 437 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:14,200 fixed. Me, it's a counsellor. 438 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:18,360 I'm wearing shorts. Yeah, I, I empowered him. 439 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:20,600 I actually that, is that actually what you do? 440 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,200 Yes, because you're so fucking mean. 441 00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:25,040 That's why she's good at. It Am I in the room? 442 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,040 Are we in the room? Are we in a therapeutic session? 443 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,280 No, we're not. I don't know, no. 444 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:31,480 You argued. No, we're not. 445 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:32,680 I was saying the contract. Can you? 446 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,040 Cure it? No to cure. 447 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,320 Do you do like conversion therapy? 448 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:40,040 Conversion therapy. If I could, I would. 449 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:42,040 Straight ones gay like she. Could convert you to be in 450 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:44,280 sound. Fucking good luck there, yeah. 451 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,120 Steve Irwin Shorts. I have. 452 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:47,840 Right enough. What's wrong with my wee shorts? 453 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,040 I'm wearing shorts, man. There's no name about like a 454 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:51,440 slutty John Cena and I'm wearing. 455 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,240 Yeah, I feel like fucking Daisy Duke. 456 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:55,920 I'm so glad I didn't wear my dunks. 457 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,040 I specifically I was like I know that fucker, I'll be wearing 458 00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:59,440 dunks, that's why I wore these instead. 459 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,520 Where are your dunks man? We can both dunk, man. 460 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:03,840 No, but mine are exactly the same as his and then it would 461 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,440 just look like. I'm so glad I didn't wear my 462 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:08,240 trunks. Let me see your dunks or good 463 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,920 dunks. Man, where do we also call them 464 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:12,720 dunks? By the way, I missed that memo. 465 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:13,760 Fuck it. What else? 466 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,720 What do you call them? Shoes all right. 467 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:17,720 Trainers got his. She got his. 468 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:19,320 She called them dunks, and then we'll get left out. 469 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:20,640 I don't know why they're called dunks. 470 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,880 Because you don't get them. I don't know. 471 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:26,600 Google out somebody. Look. 472 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:29,400 It up. Ask. 473 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:30,720 Ask. Me why they're called dogs 474 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:34,280 click. I mean, just tell me what comes 475 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:35,360 up because you're the same color. 476 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,920 Yes, because we have. There's been several times where 477 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:38,720 you've turned up the gigs. In this, I know. 478 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,480 Yeah, Yeah. And then we're gigging together 479 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:42,880 tonight. We should. 480 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,800 We should dress exactly the same. 481 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:45,800 What? Are you wearing denim shirt 482 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:46,960 dunks? Black jeans. 483 00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:50,920 Why are you so accurate? Because I was going to wear that 484 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,200 myself. Oh yeah, do you went through you 485 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,800 know, you're we like eh, gaudy shirt fears. 486 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,760 You know you're we chip and deal shirts. 487 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,520 Which one's not short? Short sleeve pattern ones. 488 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:05,880 Oh, why the ones were too tight. The the floral ones. 489 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:06,880 The Floral. Ones. 490 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:09,240 Yeah, yeah, I'm going to go and get one of them. 491 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,000 I think we should both wear them together. 492 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,800 Would look like Chippendale. We'll go to the rescue. 493 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:16,320 Rangers, do you understand that? No, because I'm young. 494 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,640 We'll go to the we'll. Go shopping after this now and 495 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:22,200 get the exact same one. Is there a bariatric fucking 496 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:23,920 menswear are you? You're right now. 497 00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:30,400 Like we're both, why the fuck off? 498 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,320 I'm not fucking wearing shorts though. 499 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,520 I know I could. I can't wear shorts on stage 500 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,160 that twice in my life died my whole and I blame the shorts. 501 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:38,480 Why? Why? 502 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:39,720 Because I. Think the entire audience is 503 00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:44,840 going look at the legs. So we're concentrating on your 504 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:46,800 fucking comedy. Settings for the pins. 505 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:49,520 Do we have that? I've never noticed. 506 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,120 You have a well. Lovely weed dancers legs, yeah. 507 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,920 Well toned calf. You have. 508 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,400 That's why we're that tattoo. You have the same as me. 509 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:58,840 Like I was short because my calves are lethal. 510 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:03,080 You're the same as me, like wee skinny legs but big shoulder. 511 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,800 Like Mr. Incredible. Yeah, somebody told me recently, 512 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,160 like Johnny Bravo, when I actually took it as a 513 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,600 compliment, I was like, I loved to look like him. 514 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,120 And then and then I went, that is me like. 515 00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:14,400 Yeah, I can see. Talking about doing karate 516 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:16,200 though. But because I'm the same, so 517 00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,720 like I'm a top heavy man so your torso looks bigger because I'm 518 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:21,120 held up by these wee matchsticks, I. 519 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,520 Think it's the only reason I have tone calves as I'm carrying 520 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:25,120 all this. That's a good point, actually, 521 00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:26,320 yeah. The fact that I don't fall over 522 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:27,800 every time I stand up. Yeah. 523 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:29,440 Do you know what I? Mean. 524 00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:30,760 Yeah, take it. Does it look like a toffee 525 00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:32,880 apple? Yeah, moving this body uphill. 526 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:34,560 But I need to be kinder to myself. 527 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,040 Don't you get all therapeutic on us now? 528 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:38,800 Yeah. The self, the self loathing 529 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:40,920 statements that have just all tumbled out here but. 530 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,120 I told her earlier she needs to be kinder to herself because she 531 00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:45,280 was mean to herself a minute and I was like, will you be fucking 532 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:46,400 nice? What did you say about yourself? 533 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,080 Fat cunt. Probably some derive It's not 534 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:51,880 not true. Fucking it's not not true. 535 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:55,000 She if you come in the lazy, which is a world of kindness as 536 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,920 it I there's a world of friendship and. 537 00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,400 Warp right? It's not right, Sir. 538 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,880 It's a friendship. Yeah, listen, that we faggot 539 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,720 spa. There's not a fucking drunken 540 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:07,560 cunt. Because we're the two best 541 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,840 friends. We said I'd love no loathing 542 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:12,680 here I. Don't want to be loved by use? 543 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,000 Why not you do? Yeah, you do do. 544 00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:16,880 You love him, don't wanna be loved. 545 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:21,760 Him maybe could turn her. She told me that to my face or 546 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:25,560 stomach. No, you're turning me. 547 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,840 You wouldn't wanna be loved by me now, don't want my affection. 548 00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:33,480 I'd say you'd be itchy. The Hog. 549 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,080 Just in general. Just to be around. 550 00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:38,520 You're like you, what makes sense? 551 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,320 Crumbs. You'd be like, you'd be like an 552 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,480 errand crumb in the bed. You just can't. 553 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:47,560 You're like. You go look for something on the 554 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:49,120 side of yourself and you're a lot of mini Chevy. 555 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:54,880 Yeah, something like that. Describe me? 556 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,760 No, that's spot on. Does that mean? 557 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:59,000 Yeah, sorry. No, it's not mean, I'm sorry. 558 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,840 It's spot on why they called Dunks down. 559 00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:05,240 Yeah, named after the famous basketball slam dunk. 560 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:09,400 Oh yeah, told you, Kobe. As that baller. 561 00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:12,360 I wasn't that I was a three pointer, was it? 562 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:15,520 I never played that, but do you ever play sport in school? 563 00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:20,800 I well, not really, no. Try to get out of it as much as 564 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,240 possible. I had many a PE note. 565 00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:24,200 Yeah. Michael can't do P today. 566 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:26,800 Why couldn't be fucked? Period. 567 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,080 Written by you. Yeah, my dad was telling me a 568 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,240 story in the public, but he was watching us play football in 569 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,200 primary school. I got she's. 570 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:38,800 Fucking Christ. And he said I was, I was doing 571 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,200 defence and I was standing like leaning against the goalpost 572 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,440 talking about mate. And the ball came in and I 573 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:45,480 walked towards it and it bounced over my head and somebody scored 574 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:49,480 and I was just like. It's done now. 575 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:52,160 We always wanted those like Teacher. 576 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:56,400 I can't do it. And see, I went to all girls 577 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,520 school. So yeah, you did like six weeks 578 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:02,760 of fucking Kamogi, six weeks of netball, six weeks of fucking 579 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:07,760 like Greek dance and mad shit. You stop for us flatly in it. 580 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:12,280 Yeah. Me and you'd be Chris, stop for 581 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,600 us flatly, like one way we fucking would. 582 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,840 There's no way just. Fucking stay here. 583 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:21,360 You can be same in Karl. There's no way I'd be get not 584 00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:23,200 got out. Like have you seen we starve 585 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:24,840 Ross? He's he's on tech talk. 586 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,080 He's very loud though. He looks just like his. 587 00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:27,960 Dad, he looks exactly like his dad he was. 588 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:31,200 He was doing some funky hip hop dance Saturday in the same rig 589 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,120 out that he had on him fucking 20 years ago. 590 00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:34,440 Is his dad still going? Oh, good, good. 591 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,520 I'd worry about that. But yeah, he's. 592 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:38,680 Still going? No, but that's, that's Greek 593 00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:40,880 fat. Yeah. 594 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,080 That's all healthy olive oils. Yeah. 595 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:44,080 Salt. Osaka. 596 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:46,880 That's Japanese. That's a fairpoint. 597 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:49,720 It's. Not like me fat. 598 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:51,160 So I mean like they're all fat in the front. 599 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,800 There's not like I bet you're in the back where you go. 600 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:54,800 That doesn't even belong to that. 601 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:56,280 Person No, you don't. No, you don't. 602 00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:59,400 You don't. You have you, you have 603 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:02,240 dysmorphia. That photograph of of that cool 604 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:05,520 photo that my mate took walking away like you're there's nothing 605 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,320 to you at the back. You're just, you're just, you're 606 00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:09,440 just, you're all, you're all stacked. 607 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:11,640 You're you're you're too much. And tell him he's fucking 608 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,920 sacked. You're 3 sober months away from 609 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,720 looking fantastic. That's never going to happen. 610 00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:18,200 I. Know, I know. 611 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,840 I know I think I do a body dysmorphia, but sometimes it's 612 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,880 the positive kind. Like, do you know when you see 613 00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:25,000 like a Jack Russell walking behind a Rottweiler and the Jack 614 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,800 Russell's like same? I'll be like that. 615 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,480 Like I'll be in a McDonald's and see a guy who's jacked and I'll 616 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:30,640 look at him like, what are we doing here? 617 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:35,000 If you did a, if you did a cut, you'd be like, fucking do you 618 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,200 know what I mean? That's ridiculous that I like. 619 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,560 I can do a cut until about a Friday and then I go no. 620 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:44,120 Do you deserve pints? You, you'd be smashing it and I 621 00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:47,200 would just text you mom and you would do it. 622 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:49,760 Look over like. Yeah, yeah, just yeah. 623 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:51,040 Pants. I love pants. 624 00:26:51,120 --> 00:26:53,600 Yeah, I fucking love you. Really. 625 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:55,960 Hello. I see at that punk carnival, I 626 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,760 drank like on Monday, what was 23°? 627 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:00,000 And I was like, I can't get warm. 628 00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:03,240 It's freezing. I broke broke my own records the 629 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:04,720 weekend like. How? 630 00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:08,560 When did the hangover hit? So on the Sunday I wasn't going 631 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:11,240 to drink and I was like literally just going to drive 632 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:12,560 home. And then half the crowd that at 633 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:13,960 the last gig was doing was like, come on, the fuck, we're 634 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:15,360 upstairs. So we're in that old Flaherty's 635 00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:16,520 bar. You didn't make the Flaherty's. 636 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:18,920 And at one point there was a band playing that played the 637 00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:20,840 Fields of Athenry. And I genuinely thought the pub 638 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,520 itself was going to grow legs, walk over the border and start 639 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,080 kicking Protestants. It was the best day of my 640 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:27,400 fucking life. That's all. 641 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:30,400 Sharon Finn. It's so bad. 642 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:35,120 I was picking people up, just walking over to me and be like, 643 00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:36,680 I nursed you like a baby and they're going, I'm going to head 644 00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:37,600 Sir. And I just left men. 645 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:42,400 Why is become a new favorite thing to do? 646 00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:45,240 It's just it's just you go to the biggest fellow. 647 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,120 They probably go, hey, do anybody just left you and you 648 00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:49,720 look at you like can you and then can you go? 649 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,280 So you're strong. You're strong, boy. 650 00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:55,280 I'm. A big, strong boy, yeah. 651 00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:56,640 He's a strong boy. Yeah, but it's fun. 652 00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:57,720 You'll see me doing it over the weekend. 653 00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:00,120 Now you've said to me at Kilkenny, we can drive home on 654 00:28:00,120 --> 00:28:04,400 the Sunday or we are booked into the hotel on the Monday and I 655 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:07,000 like I looked at the gig time and I went 10:00 on a Sunday, 656 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,440 you're going to drive home. I had no chance. 657 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:09,680 Yeah. No chance. 658 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:13,760 No, no, I've also been offered to play 5A side on the Sunday 659 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:14,680 morning. Well, they've got the big 660 00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:15,480 football match in there. Haven't. 661 00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,240 They 5A side shame was like, oh Jamal play it. 662 00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,360 I was like if I'm not hungover and he just didn't reply to me. 663 00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:22,160 This is one of these situations where someone will go, do you 664 00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:23,120 want to go watch it? And I'll go, aye. 665 00:28:23,120 --> 00:28:25,800 And then I will not go. So those I've said I'll do it, 666 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:29,520 but I've I've already put in the excuse of if I'm hungover, I'm 667 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,240 not did. That not used to be a full 11 668 00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:34,080 society like was it not Ireland versus the rest of the world was 669 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:35,480 the the big thing for Kenny for years I. 670 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:38,120 I don't know what's the time. Yeah, I think it was. 671 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,520 I don't know. So who's on the five side team? 672 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:42,560 I've no fucking idea, I've just been offered to. 673 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,120 Play Shane be the heap. Yeah, pretty much. 674 00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:47,640 She. I know my Grace plays a bit. 675 00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:50,200 Chris Kendall, play a bit. Chris Kendall play a bit, Andrew 676 00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:51,560 ran. Yeah, probably. 677 00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:53,440 He'll play a bit. I can't imagine Andrew ran 678 00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:56,160 playing football. It's my favorite thing to watch 679 00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:57,720 ever. It's like he'd be unimpressed 680 00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,280 with everything. It's like you ever watch horse 681 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,960 racing and someone's dogs got out and he's running alongside 682 00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:05,600 the horses. OK, It's very much that right? 683 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,720 It's fantastic. I remember him playing when he 684 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:11,480 had the perm look like hard Henry's we brother and sent 685 00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:19,400 their Med like fucking class. Diego Madonna, I was a football 686 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:23,760 pun. Are we not talking about 687 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:24,800 football? Now people get angry. 688 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:27,240 Are you say, but you set that up like it use fucking. 689 00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:29,520 No making. He's absolutely dead. 690 00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:30,800 That's good people arguing in the. 691 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:31,920 Comments. I don't know what I'm doing. 692 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,320 Yeah, stop that. I fucking hate football. 693 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:35,880 Do you I? Fucking hate us. 694 00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:38,280 OK. Another funny thing though, in 695 00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:41,160 baccarat again, there was there was Donegal was playing who 696 00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,560 don't, I don't even know their name, but they had it streaming 697 00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:45,520 on the TV in the pub. But obviously somebody had like 698 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,760 some sort of dodgy VPN on their phone because there were text 699 00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:50,280 messages coming through. Oh, really? 700 00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:51,120 And. Then everybody in the pub 701 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:55,400 started messaging the fellows class. 702 00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:57,160 Did you send a fee in? No, I didn't. 703 00:29:57,400 --> 00:29:58,880 Andrew was telling me, but I was already too pitched. 704 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,280 Ah. For fuck, I'm raging on my slip. 705 00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:03,080 Brilliant I. Was already down for the meant 706 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:06,200 to be down for Sunday but I couldn't get down sadly. 707 00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:07,600 Class. I know it was such a good. 708 00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:09,160 Weekend, it looked like. Especially without fucking 709 00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:11,160 weather too. It was such a good weekend like. 710 00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:12,920 I was just busy fucking cooking. Did you stay? 711 00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:14,600 Over at all. No for fuck. 712 00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:17,400 Sake I was working the next day. Allow yourself some fun. 713 00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:19,280 You have to do what you have to do. 714 00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:20,200 More than the Kenny. More. 715 00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:22,120 Well, Monica. Kenny tomorrow, No. 716 00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:24,920 I'm very busy. I'm a busy girl. 717 00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:26,960 When we can, we Fort in our room and I'll tell each We can all 718 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,360 talk about boys. We're standing different hotels, 719 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:31,760 but we'll get to beans and a string, right? 720 00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:34,480 OK. Or I'll just ring you 26. 721 00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:37,800 What? How was the cinema? 722 00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:42,920 Don't know because on the Saturday I did the cinema and I 723 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:47,200 was peshed full full drunk OK and don't really remember. 724 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:48,400 Doing the game, it looked really cool, yeah. 725 00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,920 It looked good, Greg, but yeah, I don't remember doing it. 726 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:54,240 I'm so excited for this. This but I'm going to be 727 00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:56,640 professional this weekend. It's my first time. 728 00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:57,960 I kept last. I'm like hello, nice to meet 729 00:30:57,960 --> 00:30:58,520 you. Hello. 730 00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:00,160 Yes, Oh yes, I would love to work. 731 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,240 With you, it's also mine. I'm not drink during the shows 732 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,640 but after. Oh, I'm doing that like. 733 00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:09,240 That's the dogs assembly. All right. 734 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:11,400 You try to talk culture. What? 735 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:14,160 What I'm trying to do at the Fed, I can't do it. 736 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:15,840 Can't do it. Your people turn. 737 00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:18,280 Your people turn. Your people turn me. 738 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,040 Don't start this shit now I know the last time with this 739 00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:24,480 conversation of people turning you very nice. 740 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:26,760 Yeah, don't say. I don't know. 741 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:30,320 No, that's not, that's not. This is your first cat laughs 742 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:30,800 then. Is it? 743 00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:33,160 Yes. Both of you, yeah, right. 744 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:34,520 OK, we've. Not done it before. 745 00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:36,440 Sweet. Very nervous I. 746 00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,360 Only recently found out you see that if you want to do comedy 747 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:39,760 festivals you have to ask to be on. 748 00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:42,160 So I spent 15 years being like any any chance? 749 00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:44,160 The amount of times you've been to me, how did you get that? 750 00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,000 And I went, who did you ask? And you're like, I haven't. 751 00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,840 I'm like, OK, well, we've established the. 1st I had the 752 00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,520 same conversation with Kezie but Donegal 1 he was like I wasn't 753 00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:52,840 asked. I was like no you'd ask them. 754 00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:56,480 He went what we all thought it was a meritocracy, it turns out 755 00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:58,040 now. So how do you ask? 756 00:31:58,040 --> 00:31:59,840 Do you like submit your request and write an? 757 00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:01,360 E-mail address and go Hi, can I come down and go? 758 00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:02,960 Yeah. Many games you want to. 759 00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,760 Send the clips, send the bio. And that's you sorted. 760 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:08,960 Actually didn't have to do that. Like finally you've learned how 761 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:12,040 to do an e-mail. See, I don't like asking for 762 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:12,880 anything. I'm the same. 763 00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:14,640 That's that is that is culture thing that's. 764 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:16,520 A culture thing that is a definite culture. 765 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:17,680 Why? Oxford. 766 00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:18,920 I wouldn't want to be annoying them. 767 00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,720 I that's, that's exactly it, right? 768 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,640 I I want him was in a fucking pub with somebody. 769 00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:25,760 No, it was somebody's house, sorry. 770 00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:27,600 And they said you want to pint, do you want a beer? 771 00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:30,240 And I went Nah, and I just went OK and kept drinking and I was 772 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,480 going no, you're supposed to. Go. 773 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:35,080 You asked me five times. And then you go and that's. 774 00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,440 And then I sat the whole night with like that because I didn't 775 00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:38,760 want to know. He felt a big one, actually. 776 00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:40,120 Can I have one of those? Yeah. 777 00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:41,680 So I just listen to a drunk man while I. 778 00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:44,160 It's Catholic guilt. Yeah, it's definitely like it's 779 00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:46,480 a thing that never leaves you. Fire because my attitude is 780 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:49,240 don't ask, don't get, you know, within. 781 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:50,560 The way he's asked for the six counties. 782 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:56,600 We kind of missed that. It was a bad connection. 783 00:32:56,640 --> 00:33:00,280 It was a Jeremy Corbyn. Moment say you I wasn't there. 784 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:02,120 I don't mean like I'm at 19. Are you doing it? 785 00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:03,800 Are you doing on to fucking apologize for it? 786 00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:05,600 What the fuck do I need to apologize for it? 787 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:10,040 I don't. Know it was it was like when I 788 00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:11,520 got here. I just like closing down the 789 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:14,280 town what, every July? Yeah, listen, I'm who helped the 790 00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:15,840 Nazi show no more, right? Which side? 791 00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:16,960 Which side? In the South, but we're not 792 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:21,880 we're we're the second class citizens didn't help them, but 793 00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,240 just. Give them some submarines and 794 00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:25,680 stuff. Actually, I think you'll find 795 00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:28,400 that the fucking Brits were kind of helping the Nazis for the 796 00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:30,560 start. Of it I doubt that the start. 797 00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:32,920 Of it was it was, you know, hear Hitler sound start of the. 798 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:36,160 War, the war helped them. They were out war with. 799 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:37,760 The prequel to The War. Were you there? 800 00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:38,560 Were you there? Yeah. 801 00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:41,320 Yeah, yeah. You prove I won there. 802 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:42,640 You prove I won't. Probably you were there. 803 00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:44,240 But if you'd have been there, you'd been in camp. 804 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:54,000 For many reasons. So that I get the corner train 805 00:33:54,000 --> 00:34:00,080 special car regional giddy up. Giddy up I'd have been, I'd have 806 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,840 been on it with you like I'd had my wee more wee black triangle 807 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:04,000 and. Would you not have faked? 808 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:07,480 As a Sarasis or. What, being straight to avoid 809 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,040 been gassed? No way. 810 00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:15,040 Staunch lesbian, yeah. Absolutely go down like. 811 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:22,600 It's just a shark, thank fuck. And it probably volunteered to 812 00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:23,960 be gases because I drank everything. 813 00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:28,440 There's no snaps left. Fucking guess it going out 814 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,080 there. Fucks not passed off that. 815 00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:36,639 Wow that was so staunch. Ever. 816 00:34:36,639 --> 00:34:40,000 That's the name of the. Episode I watched the I watched 817 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,360 the pedo hunters video the other day and the guys in the Linfield 818 00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:46,440 top right, it's over in England and he's he's the guy says 819 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,280 something. He's like, Oh, lucky it wasn't 820 00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:50,120 this day. And then this guy goes, oh, look 821 00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:55,280 at the Irish and the guy goes not fucking Irish, even even in 822 00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:56,960 the midst of going down as a nonsense. 823 00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:00,000 He's like fucking I'm a British nuts, thank you very much. 824 00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:03,040 Do you see a collar on me? You see rosary beads there. 825 00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:06,320 Is a difference. Like kids, but nothing. 826 00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:13,000 I'm not a fucking pervert. It's the anger, the flashes. 827 00:35:13,720 --> 00:35:15,560 That's your triggers. You need to manage your 828 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:16,480 triggers. Can't call me anymore. 829 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:23,640 I mean, I said it's not mine. I certainly don't give a fuck 830 00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:26,200 like. About what that phenians or 831 00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:28,520 being a paedo? No being being called Irish. 832 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:30,680 Would you rather be called paedo or be called Irish? 833 00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:34,560 Irish what is OK but quits? Just not the stupidest question. 834 00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:37,520 Wait, you delivered that shows in Syria? 835 00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:39,240 Like that's happened to you or something? 836 00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:41,040 You're fucking dealing with here, do you? 837 00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:42,640 Know what I mean? Not the audience of Nolan mate. 838 00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:45,360 Like fucking hell not yet. Would you rather be Irish or a 839 00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,840 paedo wall Which which passport cues short a. 840 00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:53,400 Paedo on the 1st it only goes to the littles and James. 841 00:35:55,040 --> 00:36:01,720 One way tickets. That's the announcement. 842 00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:06,440 Could Jimmy Samuel please return to the Peter King? 843 00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:11,280 I'm trying trying. I'm trying to come up with 844 00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:15,560 something I can't. The brains is not as addled as 845 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,400 used to. I just love the idea of someone 846 00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:21,280 not wanting the baby know but seeing how short the key is. 847 00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:27,400 It's like a moral dynamic. The paedo metal detector. 848 00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:29,120 You should bend over again. What? 849 00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:41,760 Do you mean it can't text sweets woman just bag volcano surprise? 850 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:45,960 Who's PC gone madness. Can't even take fucking sweets 851 00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:49,000 to the paedo wedding. It's my holiday ruined. 852 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:50,080 I'm. Not fucking buying them there 853 00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:52,360 they expect because they know you're looking at them there as 854 00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:54,520 fuck. There's been a sex offender 855 00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:56,680 caught in the middle of the ocean. 856 00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:58,400 I thought they said it was a pedal though. 857 00:36:59,960 --> 00:37:03,240 Basically, the copies weren't not much sleep last night. 858 00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:06,760 But yeah, I would say I'm Irish. That's good. 859 00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:08,680 And Northern, I'd be both. Yeah, yeah. 860 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:11,680 Yeah, I think we all do. Like this I'm a greedy bastard 861 00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:14,920 so every available. Option I say I'm Northern Irish 862 00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:17,440 when I'm in Northern Ireland and then you fucking. 863 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:21,080 I dream Muslim like I'll take everything don't give a fuck. 864 00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:24,880 So I mean every identity box. I love how you I'm not, I'm not 865 00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:27,120 in the audience of Nolan, but yet you said Muslim. 866 00:37:28,240 --> 00:37:32,000 I thought for breakfast. Muslim. 867 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:34,960 Sorry, Muslim. Wait. 868 00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:37,080 Why? No, she's proper culture. 869 00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:41,600 She calls him homie fuck. I do not. 870 00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,280 I do not. I'm a counselor. 871 00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:49,760 I do not what. Would you say Muslim? 872 00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:51,880 Muslim. Keep this going. 873 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:59,360 Because this is going to be your Keck Muslim Muslim. 874 00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:04,520 Muslim Muslim Muslim Muslim Muslim Muslim. 875 00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:07,200 That wouldn't be. Absolutely not. 876 00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:08,280 So wait, that's pigs. That's pigs. 877 00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:13,600 I don't I don't see breeds. That's the word I was looking 878 00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:14,680 for. I just. 879 00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:17,400 The worst farmer ever. Prime Curry, though, for you. 880 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:19,880 Sausage. You can get milk out of sausage. 881 00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:24,160 Corny tail Vegan sausage. Milk out of a sausage. 882 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:35,560 No, you didn't even hear. It. 883 00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:39,080 I deserved more Right as fuck. Your joke, that was beautiful. 884 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:40,240 Say it again so everyone can hear. 885 00:38:40,240 --> 00:38:41,800 It I literally laughed. No, we didn't want. 886 00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:43,440 To hear it the first time, we're not going to hear it I. 887 00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:45,520 Literally laughed at. It I needed a minute. 888 00:38:45,720 --> 00:38:47,680 It was very, very funny. It was very funny. 889 00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:49,520 It's fucking roasting. It's fucking roasting. 890 00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:52,440 I wish I'd wore my shorts. I literally paused and I 891 00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:53,880 laughed. At it. 892 00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:56,040 Sorry you didn't laugh enough. I deserved more. 893 00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:57,560 You. Fucking tell me, I'll tell you. 894 00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:01,040 And I've laughed enough I. Made it weird. 895 00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:02,680 I did. I did did. 896 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:04,880 Anyone see the news this week that? 897 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,760 God Dancer. Armando Iannucci is going to 898 00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:09,440 write the next Paddington Bear movie. 899 00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:11,520 That's my fucking dream movie, mom. 900 00:39:12,240 --> 00:39:15,240 That's my dream movie, Armando Iannucci wrote sake of it. 901 00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:18,320 I don't know, Partridge. Do do Partridge. 902 00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,280 He's involved in some capacity stolen. 903 00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:24,520 I'll be very Hey bro, Paddington movie will not. 904 00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:28,760 Paddington's the new Malcolm Tucker Outstanding. 905 00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:31,680 That would be the best. Have you ever seen Think of it? 906 00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,120 Bits and pieces just padding to me and like this. 907 00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:38,440 This is a fucking disgrace, you dirty fucking cunt. 908 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:41,400 Yeah, who ate my fucking sandwich? 909 00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:44,360 You fucking useless spineless fucking Jelly cunt. 910 00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:47,240 Stop fucking blinking you cunt is. 911 00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:48,920 This when he's doing the bed with the Queen. 912 00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,320 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. 913 00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:54,560 Why did you pay off the fucking nuns you stupid bitch? 914 00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:57,080 Everyone thinks my fucking pedo protectors. 915 00:39:58,040 --> 00:39:59,640 This fucking cunt says he can't sweat. 916 00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:04,240 Fucking. I just love anything. 917 00:40:04,240 --> 00:40:05,720 Have you ever seen the Paddington movies? 918 00:40:05,720 --> 00:40:08,760 No What? A 43 year old woman. 919 00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:10,720 Of course I've seen huffing Paddington movies. 920 00:40:11,240 --> 00:40:12,600 No, it's not it. Is. 921 00:40:12,720 --> 00:40:14,200 No, it's not. It's too late for us. 922 00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:16,840 It's like, it's like if somebody hasn't seen Star Wars by the age 923 00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:18,120 of 12, they're not going to get anything. 924 00:40:18,240 --> 00:40:20,040 I've never seen Star Wars. Too late for you? 925 00:40:20,240 --> 00:40:23,520 Well, we're going to have a lovely time watching Paddington 926 00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:24,880 and Star Wars. Do you want to get stoned to me 927 00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:25,920 and go to the new Star Wars film? 928 00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:27,800 No. Come on. 929 00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:30,680 No, come on. Do you get Stern dunks, big lad? 930 00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:32,120 I wear a dunk. Wear a dunk on. 931 00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:33,960 The Academy with me and we'll go see padding. 932 00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:38,560 It's really good. He comes out, I'm gay. 933 00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:40,480 He. Comes out of the raincoat. 934 00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:42,480 I'm saying he's out of the Queen's hole. 935 00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:46,520 No, no, I'm good, I'm good. I just I don't get the whole 936 00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:48,280 Paddington thing. What are you not so? 937 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,080 British. It's, I think that's I, you 938 00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:51,200 know, I think so. British. 939 00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:52,200 Why? I'm saying there, it's very 940 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,320 British. OK, now Paws and roads, the 941 00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:57,320 movie would be straight there. Who the fuck is poaching? 942 00:40:57,800 --> 00:40:59,960 Oh, go away with it. Horizon, I thought you knew your 943 00:40:59,960 --> 00:41:05,840 history. The zag and zag movie blur in a 944 00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:07,760 heartbeat. Lad, not a chance. 945 00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:09,720 The gem, I'm not being a tech. What? 946 00:41:09,720 --> 00:41:11,080 What are they? I don't know. 947 00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:13,800 Zag and zag where? The zag and zag used to be on 948 00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:15,040 British TV is on. A Big Breakfast? 949 00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:19,440 Yeah, that's true. So who's? 950 00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:21,520 Pause and Raj. They were like. 951 00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:24,640 Humans zag and zags, Yeah. But they were both puppets. 952 00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:27,520 Yeah, right. So, Podge Roger, how do you even 953 00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:30,720 describe Podge Roge? Just just to Louis Walsh. 954 00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:34,680 Yeah, it was like a late night like puppet puppetry show with 955 00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:37,840 the interview people, right? OK, but it'd be ignorant cons. 956 00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:39,560 But it was puppets. Nobody could get angry. 957 00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:40,720 Right. Yeah, OK, it. 958 00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:45,440 Was basically the two most hatefulest old men in a pub who 959 00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:49,200 were never married who just say rude things to people in Yeah. 960 00:41:49,240 --> 00:41:53,000 Imagine the took the two young fellas in The Muppets, fed them 961 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,080 full of pints and give them like modern accents. 962 00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:56,760 Yeah, OK. I'm with you. 963 00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:59,160 Yeah, I mean very funny. It's not a very funny story. 964 00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:01,000 I mean it's. It's no Paddington, but I mean 965 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:01,800 it's. Better than Paddington. 966 00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,640 No, it's so lovely. Like he's just so nice. 967 00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:07,400 I saw a clip the other day and it was of the Chuckle Brothers 968 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:09,480 live show, right? Did you see, did you see the 969 00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:12,920 clip I'm talking about? And it's like, which one's Paul? 970 00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:14,960 Which one's Barry? Barry's the tall one. 971 00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:16,680 Paul's dead. Paul's dead. 972 00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:18,520 He's the wee one. Well, Theresa, all right. 973 00:42:19,240 --> 00:42:22,640 So Paul gets into like a big they're going to cut a bit of 974 00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:24,440 wood. What a shock. 975 00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:27,920 And Paul gets into the box with like a hole in the box and he's 976 00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:29,000 going to put the wood through the holes. 977 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,280 He doesn't cut his fingers, but it's it's perfectly deck height. 978 00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:34,560 Yeah, I'll to load it like it just looks like a big old deck, 979 00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:38,160 but it would to me to you. And he has it. 980 00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:40,200 And he's, he's proper. He's getting the wood. 981 00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:44,280 Yeah, like. But that was the 80's, the 90s 982 00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:46,280 when you could be a children entertainer and a dirty bastard. 983 00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:48,040 And the kids are like now like. The Crankies. 984 00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:51,040 Like the cranky? You want you don't know the 985 00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:52,440 cranky. I knew. 986 00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:54,200 I knew of the cranky, to be honest with you. 987 00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:55,720 I'm only three years younger than you, but I only. 988 00:42:56,640 --> 00:43:00,200 I know them because my mom was terrified of Jim, Jim, Jimmy 989 00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:03,320 Cranky. His name is actually Jeanette, 990 00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:05,760 Yeah. But the character was Jimmy 991 00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:07,440 Cranky. Yes, yeah, yeah. 992 00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:10,240 Terrified. I I never thought, I never paid 993 00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:12,440 any heat today. Like, oh, this seems perfectly 994 00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,320 acceptable. There's a small child here with 995 00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:17,960 an older man and they just go about their business and then. 996 00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:20,560 Like turns out of his wife. Turns out it was like the main 997 00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:21,480 was blown. Not a bit of wonder. 998 00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:23,160 Everybody in the 80s perverts. But then they were. 999 00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:25,440 They're dirty swingers. I am glad I was going to say 1000 00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:26,720 that and I'm like if I made this up. 1001 00:43:26,720 --> 00:43:28,600 No, that was like a big thing where there were keys in the 1002 00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:29,560 bowl. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1003 00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:31,200 A. Lot of pair of car keys and 1004 00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:33,400 Jimmy crying. Would you be fucking? 1005 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:34,200 Raging. Fuming. 1006 00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:37,800 Like what do you do with the gangbang? 1007 00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:39,320 Isn't it? Is it going? 1008 00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:43,480 You probably want to fucking. He probably would have read him 1009 00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:46,280 more as a wee boy than as the actual woman. 1010 00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:48,080 To be fair, I know what that means. 1011 00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:53,120 Yeah, I don't. Again, Catholics, instead of 1012 00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:55,360 somewhere you'd ride me and you in the pedo queue. 1013 00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,360 Scoot. You'd ride him in the schoolboy. 1014 00:43:57,360 --> 00:44:01,440 In the schoolboy guys, as opposed to in her normal way, as 1015 00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:05,960 fucking weird weird. It was weird like. 1016 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:08,560 Watching your wife coming down the dress and going and I'd do 1017 00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:10,240 better as a wee boy. You're not there and put that 1018 00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:11,560 Victorian schoolboy. Everybody quickly. 1019 00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:13,440 Where's your satchel? They're caught up here any 1020 00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,520 minute and you're wearing a thong. 1021 00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:17,800 Yeah, fucking slut. Get upstairs and put that 1022 00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:18,600 schoolboy. You couldn't. 1023 00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:23,080 Have got a thongs like she's borderline like. 1024 00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:24,840 Dwarf. Yeah, tiny. 1025 00:44:25,240 --> 00:44:28,280 I don't think borderline, I think she's fully was a dwarf. 1026 00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:33,960 No, no, she wasn't like Nah, no done Google there. 1027 00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:37,520 For fish. Which is what the speaking Lord 1028 00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:38,840 of the Rings. She did. 1029 00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:41,120 I think she is dead. Read to death, yeah. 1030 00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:47,040 Forgot her lunch money three days ago. 1031 00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:47,600 Starved. Oh, I'm. 1032 00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:54,720 So hello. We're in dark territory. 1033 00:44:54,720 --> 00:44:58,480 Here and Dan's concentrating so hard that I'm not concentrating 1034 00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:01,040 on Dan. I'm so interested they have 1035 00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:03,240 Janette Janine Cranky. Jeanette, what did you call the 1036 00:45:03,240 --> 00:45:04,800 fit? What did you call the husband? 1037 00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:09,200 Just Mr. Cranky Mr. Cranky. Standing around 4 feet 5 inches 1038 00:45:09,240 --> 00:45:10,400 inches. On our back. 1039 00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:15,480 Not medically a dwarf, nor did she play a dwarf character. 1040 00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:18,000 I thought Anahan under 410 was dwarf. 1041 00:45:19,720 --> 00:45:20,960 No. Are there not other 1042 00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:24,120 considerations for dwarfs not other physical? 1043 00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:26,480 Was she a major? Like what? 1044 00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:26,920 What? What? 1045 00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:29,000 There needs to be 7 of them in a room at any time. 1046 00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:33,880 I have to work on a Chocolate Factory. 1047 00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:38,720 If they're not inside R2D2, it doesn't. 1048 00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:41,640 Count not inside fucking Mr. Cranky. 1049 00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:47,840 It doesn't count. Have you always gone Oh? 1050 00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:52,960 I find something really funny or I've done something that's a wee 1051 00:45:52,960 --> 00:46:01,640 bit near the knuckle I'll do. Do you say she was standing on 1052 00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:05,640 five foot 4 inches or sitting? On 4 foot 2 but it looked like a 1053 00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:07,400 beside her. That's shocking. 1054 00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:11,000 That's why I love. Them. 1055 00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,800 Were you wanking up the television when you were 1056 00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:15,760 watching the Crankies? That'd be weird. 1057 00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:18,400 I wasn't wagging. No, no, they weren't on Nah. 1058 00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:21,720 So what was your like? What would be your stand out 1059 00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:24,600 like late entertainment? My were a lot of like American 1060 00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:27,640 TV shows, so like SpongeBob, fairly old parents. 1061 00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:31,800 But like Saturday night off your bath, what was watching? 1062 00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:33,280 I'm back Saturday night take. Away. 1063 00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:34,920 Oh shit. You won't. 1064 00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:39,800 Can't you don't even you've never been to know. 1065 00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:41,520 Because one arms blind, it's woke. 1066 00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:43,520 No, they're just too, because. You've never been to Noel 1067 00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:46,200 Edmonds house party, have you? Oh, no. 1068 00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:48,320 You never had the deal with guns. 1069 00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:50,760 Every all day Saturday. People are getting guns. 1070 00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:54,680 Yeah, they're from morning, noon and night, Sir, back in the day, 1071 00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:56,880 people getting covered in guns. We're happy to have it. 1072 00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:59,280 We were happy to have it just as I looked like ice cream, but it. 1073 00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:01,800 Wasn't it's gone. You go on a Wednesday here, get 1074 00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:02,720 your own back. What's happening now? 1075 00:47:02,720 --> 00:47:04,000 Someone's getting guns, get your own. 1076 00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:05,800 Back come in school the Mondays here guns. 1077 00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:09,200 Here's fun house or guns ever. Fucking NTV as well. 1078 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:13,560 Remember there was that that whole thing when there would be 1079 00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:16,200 for some reason, it'd be surreptitious CCTV in in a 1080 00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:18,560 living room. And Google Sir pictures for. 1081 00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:22,920 Me and then Noel, Noel Evans be like, no, no for MTV, and it'll 1082 00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:26,280 be some woman sitting in her dress and going watching the 1083 00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:29,200 television. And then he'd be like Mabel 1084 00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:31,360 Hinchcliffe, you're on the telly. 1085 00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:35,640 That should be all. Like what the fuck? 1086 00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:39,400 Because I've seen like, Michael McIntyre sneaking in the 1087 00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:41,320 celebrities bedrooms these days and you go, that's none. 1088 00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:45,200 Sneaking into your. No, it's like, no, because the 1089 00:47:45,240 --> 00:47:47,200 celebrities wake up in their bed and they go, they're all done 1090 00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:48,200 up. And you're like, I know that's 1091 00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:50,440 not that's not true because Mabel Hinchliff would have been 1092 00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:52,480 there if I got stressed. Or do not I'm. 1093 00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:57,480 Just imagining to be like Mickey Bartlett, you're on TV. 1094 00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:06,200 And I don't start until the Telman I was fast asleep to you. 1095 00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:08,200 What we up watch is. With an orange this like. 1096 00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:11,160 I want guns back on TV. Give it 2 minutes. 1097 00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:20,760 That's great, no? We'd see the UK as well for like 1098 00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:21,920 Saturday. Oh, Saturday mornings. 1099 00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:23,280 I, I mean I Saturday mornings for it. 1100 00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:25,440 But like our Saturday mornings, were both live and kicking. 1101 00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:27,920 Live and kicking, Andy. Peters on everything. 1102 00:48:28,720 --> 00:48:30,840 Oh, a man hasn't aged today. Hasn't it? 1103 00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:32,400 But it doesn't crack. That's right. 1104 00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:35,600 Yeah. What's up doc? 1105 00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:38,000 Do you remember it? No. 1106 00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:41,040 OK, that's the one Mark spit. Do you remember that one? 1107 00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:41,880 No. Oh, Crater. 1108 00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:43,600 God love him. No. 1109 00:48:44,240 --> 00:48:46,160 No, no, I think it was an. ITV One. 1110 00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:50,120 Rest in peace watchers. Mark spit. 1111 00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:53,680 God love him, he did. Smart. 1112 00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,360 Yes, but he was on a show where he played. 1113 00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:58,640 He had an American accent. He'd wore a blue suit with 1114 00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:01,600 clouds on us and it was on on a Saturday morning for. 1115 00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:05,160 We were Max Headroom vibe, yeah. That what the fuck was that 1116 00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:06,440 about? Because I know what that was, 1117 00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:10,400 but that was bizarre. That was bizarre but iconic. 1118 00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:13,200 But he become on speaking like a robotic voice, Yeah. 1119 00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:16,280 Oh, why do you remember movies game? 1120 00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:19,120 Was it movie? Game news or what do you call it 1121 00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:19,880 was? How long? 1122 00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:23,120 What games master games? Master your man, yeah. 1123 00:49:23,240 --> 00:49:27,800 Fucking how do I pay level 2? That's a good question. 1124 00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:32,080 Use your thumbs you fucking loser. 1125 00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:36,640 What did you call him? Patrick Wah? 1126 00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:39,000 I was. Going to say Patrick, sure, but 1127 00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:40,200 it's not Patrick Mirror. Patrick. 1128 00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:42,640 Patrick Mirror What? Was what was his deal apart from 1129 00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:43,920 he? Did astronomy shows and all as 1130 00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:46,120 well? Like we're looking at our Ryan's 1131 00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:48,840 belt and that's not his voice. Yeah, he was pure. 1132 00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:50,520 But he looked, he looked like Churchill. 1133 00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:53,280 Luckily, his septic hole for night didn't. 1134 00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:54,520 Look. Well, yeah, at all. 1135 00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:57,440 Like you look at your hair favorite half his face, Yeah. 1136 00:49:57,720 --> 00:50:00,680 Speaking of all shy shows, do you remember the one that 1137 00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:03,800 revealed the magician secrets? Yes. 1138 00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:07,240 Yeah, with the math magician. Yeah, yeah, I love that show. 1139 00:50:07,240 --> 00:50:09,280 Who did not turn out to be, because that was a big reveal at 1140 00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:12,000 the end of that series. That was it wasn't David 1141 00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:13,400 Copperfield, was it? Or just some? 1142 00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:16,640 Paul Daniels. Remember, he was he was never 1143 00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:19,760 off the box and Debbie's. Juice Debbie's box. 1144 00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:23,440 Val Valentino. Yes, of course. 1145 00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:25,800 Well, it was like when they take the helmet off the steg where 1146 00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:27,280 it's like big reveal and then the revealed it. 1147 00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:29,280 Everyone's like, I still don't know who you are. 1148 00:50:29,720 --> 00:50:31,160 Yeah, because they took the helmet off the steg once. 1149 00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:33,680 It was Schumacher. Yeah, I think that was a joke 1150 00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:34,920 it. Was pre accident yeah. 1151 00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:38,320 Obviously. In fact, if they put it back on, 1152 00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:43,840 we'd been alright. Someone scared this pod. 1153 00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:55,720 And it's go, go, go for Schumacher down the oh, 1154 00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:08,040 it's fucking roasting. So much. 1155 00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:11,200 I'm sweating like I'm losing breath. 1156 00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,200 No, because it Yeah, I remember the Mass Magician. 1157 00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:16,560 Chocolate was fucking class. What was the one? 1158 00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:19,200 The Albert was always come on the TV and it was like a 1159 00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:22,720 disembodied head with no top on it and it would pour juice into 1160 00:51:22,720 --> 00:51:25,080 it. The Tiger Man. 1161 00:51:25,240 --> 00:51:27,680 Yeah, that scared the fuck out of me. 1162 00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:30,160 Yeah. Do you remember that? 1163 00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:33,160 He was like orange. No, I remember the the tango 1164 00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:34,760 man. Yeah. 1165 00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:36,400 You know when you've been tangled? 1166 00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:38,520 Do you remember? Bellies want to get you that. 1167 00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,720 Was a great Albert, yeah. So it was a giant belly was 1168 00:51:41,720 --> 00:51:43,120 chasing people on the street. It was for a. 1169 00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:46,360 Reebok. Yeah, go bellies going OK? 1170 00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:47,840 I was big. Hurry, Belly. 1171 00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:50,320 You know I got that fucking shouted at me whenever I worked 1172 00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:53,760 in the bank. 100% snap. Yeah, I just shout at myself as 1173 00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:55,800 brush my teeth. And you worked in a bank? 1174 00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:58,560 The Bank nightclub. Sorry, right. 1175 00:51:58,560 --> 00:52:01,080 I thought, that's so disrespectful to come in and be 1176 00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:04,280 like, well, he's gonna get you. Make a withdrawal, yeah. 1177 00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:06,080 Yeah, I know. It's defaulted. 1178 00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:09,440 The mortgage bill is going. I got so many. 1179 00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:11,280 They didn't bring that back because that kind of bullying 1180 00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:12,840 was good for you, like. Was it though? 1181 00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:15,280 It's good for people in general, yeah. 1182 00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:18,280 IA little bit of but I think. Because anybody that wore fake 1183 00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:21,000 time to school, we'd all go, you know, when you've been tangled. 1184 00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:23,160 Remember in school, the girls were that fake time there and 1185 00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:24,320 their neck could be white. Yeah. 1186 00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:28,640 I I remember like I think bullying for stuff you do and 1187 00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:30,520 that stuff you can't control is fine. 1188 00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:32,400 Like not for your looks or anything. 1189 00:52:32,720 --> 00:52:34,200 But how you are? Some people need to be told 1190 00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:37,040 they're ugly like. No, but I think, I think a lot 1191 00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:38,320 of us know. I. 1192 00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:40,680 I was. No, I didn't grow up under the 1193 00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:43,040 illusions. I'm fine looking like you know 1194 00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:43,520 you're not. Good. 1195 00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:45,000 Like you know what I mean? You're lovely. 1196 00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:47,000 Fuck, look at your beard. Lovely head of her. 1197 00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:49,680 Shut up. The weight you've lost them and 1198 00:52:49,680 --> 00:52:51,440 when you took your top off there I thought he's in good shape. 1199 00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:53,920 You can see the wee bicep. He didn't. 1200 00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:55,560 He did flex your wee packs we bet though. 1201 00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:57,360 I didn't. He did. 1202 00:52:58,080 --> 00:53:00,520 He just has naturally. Fucking naturally. 1203 00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:03,800 I don't because I have like. I don't know what it's called 1204 00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:05,720 when you have no lower pit of the pack. 1205 00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:07,640 You. Know it's all just. 1206 00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:09,640 I'm all here. And it's just sagging on there. 1207 00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:12,560 I've like Bengal Wings of the Pack which I think is a Bonnie 1208 00:53:12,560 --> 00:53:15,880 Tyler song of. Of it's the girl that rid the 1209 00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:19,320 1000 fellas. Turn around. 1210 00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:25,080 Every now and then I see another Dick. 1211 00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:28,080 Wish I'd stayed in fucking school. 1212 00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:36,840 Turn around, wide eyes. Jesus. 1213 00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:41,840 But you want me like just soft underneath which makes it worse 1214 00:53:41,840 --> 00:53:43,960 because when you do chest and then that gets bigger, it just 1215 00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:45,160 looks. Oh man, don't even jump. 1216 00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:47,600 Bigger tits. I've I have I told the story on 1217 00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:50,160 the podcast before the the one time I played an amazing prank. 1218 00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:52,120 That is the last time we recorded. 1219 00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:53,760 No, and you're also dressed like Bart. 1220 00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:55,160 Simpson I know. I thought that when I left the 1221 00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:55,920 house. I know. 1222 00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:57,800 Actually, I knew I was going to come up, tell him. 1223 00:53:57,800 --> 00:53:58,400 I fucking knew. Tell him. 1224 00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:03,560 About your prank. But we catapult. 1225 00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:07,080 I knew a fucking I should have said it myself, because when I 1226 00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:09,040 left the fucking house, I went. I'm dressed like Bart Simpson 1227 00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:11,080 and I thought not, so maybe we'll get away with it. 1228 00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:12,760 People get away with it. Don't know why you went and got 1229 00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:14,400 your miles car, you could just skateboarder just. 1230 00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:18,680 Hold on to the back of the bus, the yellow bus that you were on. 1231 00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:23,240 As Maggie Simpsons, we pretend fucking. 1232 00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:28,000 See that? Just a scar we see The first 1233 00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,040 time I saw The Simpsons that drew that scared the fuck out of 1234 00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:32,080 me when it looks like Maggie's driving as a whoa. 1235 00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:37,560 No, but I was when I was about in the sort of mid 20s friend of 1236 00:54:37,560 --> 00:54:39,080 mine. I pulled a friend of mine right 1237 00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:40,800 and asked me to go out for a pint one night. 1238 00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:41,880 This is a short version of the story. 1239 00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:43,240 He's like, let's go around to your mate's house. 1240 00:54:43,240 --> 00:54:45,520 So we went around and I said, look, the two of you can't ride 1241 00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:48,160 because there's only one bed in this place and there's nobody 1242 00:54:48,160 --> 00:54:49,840 for me to ride. So nobody's getting rid. 1243 00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:52,160 And I just I was like, I want to sleep in bed beside the two 1244 00:54:52,160 --> 00:54:53,720 years, make sure nobody's getting bucked, right? 1245 00:54:53,720 --> 00:54:56,040 I was fully clock bugging. Very funny though, right? 1246 00:54:56,040 --> 00:54:57,800 So me and my friend were wrestling and this girl was 1247 00:54:57,800 --> 00:54:58,960 like, I have to go for work in the moment. 1248 00:54:58,960 --> 00:55:00,360 We used to. Stop this, me and my friend were 1249 00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:01,720 wrestling. Yeah, because I was sleeping in 1250 00:55:01,720 --> 00:55:02,880 the middle. He wanted to sleep beside the 1251 00:55:02,880 --> 00:55:04,640 girl and I was going, no, I'm cock blocking you. 1252 00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:06,360 Right. So we wrestled for a bit and 1253 00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:08,520 then he had to go for a pee. And I, I eventually was like, 1254 00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:10,440 you can sleep beside her. What if I hear anything fucking 1255 00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:14,920 snapping or clapping or dipping or slipping, I'd crack up. 1256 00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:16,120 Right? So we're going to go to the 1257 00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:17,200 bathroom. And I turned to the girl who 1258 00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:18,600 went quickly. Give me your hair extensions, 1259 00:55:19,240 --> 00:55:20,760 right? She goes, I don't have any hair 1260 00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:21,880 extension. Give me a pair of tights. 1261 00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:24,000 I went right. You lie where I was lying. 1262 00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:26,680 Don't fucking move, right. So I put her tights on my head 1263 00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:29,080 and like laying beside her. Am I making them behind me? 1264 00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:34,320 And he started rubbing me and he wasn't kissing the tights right? 1265 00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:39,800 And he started putting his hand down my I was like, he's going 1266 00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:44,440 to get some fucking shot because I have a full root like and I 1267 00:55:44,440 --> 00:55:46,760 was like a bit of laugh like laugh my head off. 1268 00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:49,560 And he goes the weirdest bit was he goes your tits felt the same. 1269 00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:53,960 She hurried hits. Must have. 1270 00:55:55,240 --> 00:55:56,840 Next day and I was like, Michael, you need to move out. 1271 00:55:56,840 --> 00:56:02,080 That's fucking outside. I just picture the moment he 1272 00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:03,840 goes for it, you spin out like surprise. 1273 00:56:03,840 --> 00:56:05,280 Motherfucking I was. Going to let. 1274 00:56:05,280 --> 00:56:06,160 Him. That sounds like the most 1275 00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:10,280 elaborate way of saying. I couldn't believe how long. 1276 00:56:10,680 --> 00:56:12,080 I couldn't believe how long it went on for. 1277 00:56:12,080 --> 00:56:13,240 I was like, he's bound to notice. 1278 00:56:13,440 --> 00:56:15,000 How did I tell the difference between tights and her? 1279 00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:16,840 Like how long has it been since he got a ride? 1280 00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:18,480 I felt bad for him. I was going to go let him buck 1281 00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:20,840 me because it's been a long winter. 1282 00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:22,400 For me, where was? She landlord in the bed, 1283 00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:24,760 laughing her head. Off I think was this bad? 1284 00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:27,200 We're very small, we're skinnier. 1285 00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:32,840 You should have just all read each other that we've been 1286 00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:37,400 handier than this. You there with a new nylon? 1287 00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:39,040 That's plugging. Incredible. 1288 00:56:39,040 --> 00:56:39,760 Don't ask. You don't. 1289 00:56:39,920 --> 00:56:42,680 Get yes, we're going to have to we're going to have to head on 1290 00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:45,280 over to the the officers, which is an extra episode. 1291 00:56:45,280 --> 00:56:48,160 Head on over to the Lazy Boys Patreon for an extra absolutely 1292 00:56:48,160 --> 00:56:50,600 on anything you want to say to the the people before we go. 1293 00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:54,160 Thanks for having me. Exotic to be. 1294 00:56:54,160 --> 00:56:55,560 Here anything to plug? Anything to plug. 1295 00:56:55,720 --> 00:56:57,200 Anything to plug. Maggie's old. 1296 00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:01,480 Takes unplug. I I'm I'm doing a tour. 1297 00:57:02,120 --> 00:57:06,280 It's three dates long, Neri Arma and dailies. 1298 00:57:06,560 --> 00:57:08,880 I have to pluck up the courage to ask Colin get us to give me 1299 00:57:08,880 --> 00:57:11,360 an end in Laveries for a night. But yes, called Long story 1300 00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:13,520 short. Yeah, Leanne is fucking 1301 00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:15,880 fantastic, Absolutely fantastic, thanks very much. 1302 00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:18,080 I'm also on term. We've added an extra show in 1303 00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:23,200 Cork, Dublin and Glasgow so fuck off. 1304 00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:26,200 So come on, come on down to my tour 5 months away. 1305 00:57:26,800 --> 00:57:28,600 It'll be fun. Also doing the Edinburgh Fringe 1306 00:57:28,600 --> 00:57:31,440 Monkey Barrel at the Tron 10:00 every night with touch. 1307 00:57:31,440 --> 00:57:34,160 Grass, I'm doing the Europa Hotel on the 17th of October. 1308 00:57:34,160 --> 00:57:36,040 I still haven't got the tickets out on sale yet though because 1309 00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:38,640 I'm in charge of it so but I'll be there so turn up. 1310 00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:41,720 We're only after sees later.