Why you doing this? You.
Want to start, you start. Or did you change now?
Did you change your top to make it seem like record this on a
different day or? Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to
the Lazy Boys podcast with myself, William Thompson, joined
as always by Shane Todd, who has lost the head, and Mickey
Bartlett. How are we?
We're good, pretty good. Both.
So I brought a Spar T-shirt because you were recording 2
episodes, right? But also, it did spill spill
coffee on my daddy. That's a nice T-shirt, Dons.
We had 12 lbs. Steven Spielberg?
No, really nice. Doctor Spiel.
Ah, very good. Doctor Phil OH, to spell a
mockingbird. Spell up Seymour Hoffman.
They're all nice. Well, as you can tell, ladies
and gentlemen, today is going to be a cracker, I hope.
Yes. Yeah.
Good spell hunting. Yeah, Jack and Spill.
Spell Burr. Yeah, kill spell.
Yeah, kill spell too. Yeah, Spell Bill work both with
spell spell, spell spell spell, right.
When there's a spell, there's a way.
Yeah, Prince spell. So Trump is Jesus.
Nice discuss. Hills, Billy.
King's Billy, All right. If you.
Like that? See a couple of spilly billies,
yeah. We're doing a live show at Lazy
Boys Live, the second live show. Where is the chain?
It's in the limelight, Belfast. When is it Mickey?
It's in June 14th. It's a Sunday.
When can I get tickets done? Next week, no.
Next week, Next. Week, next week, fuck yeah,
that's marketing, that's promo. That's what we're all about here
at the Lazy Boys. Can't.
Believe we all got that right. I know.
That's good. Yeah, it's because we got told 7
seconds ago all the information and we're retained.
That's gardening. Yeah, I know.
I'm very excited to do that show.
It's fun. Well, you heard you in normal
hand. I don't know why that.
No, no, that's fucking. What are you going to wear?
Tarantula what? Are you going to wear you little
tart? Gamesit.
Oh, nice. Well, you know, you've said.
Should. Yeah, have you got 10?
Here he is. I can get one.
I got a guy. Here he is.
Should have used A twist in my arm I'd hit.
That's my nipples. If I'm in nothing, well.
We nipples. We're a full game suit I.
Think it'd be funny for 5 minutes and then I'm just bucket
and sweat. Yeah, because obviously we don't
plan we're going to talk about to imagine it gets really deep
and personal and serious and you're there just in the in the
game suit. No, I agree.
I've never truly felt loved. I don't see you.
Oh wait, no, I'm alright. I'd love to see you in the
airport in a game suit. And they're like, who's that?
Your stag? Then you know, you got married.
You're like no funeral. I'm just on the I'm just on the
Berlin for a weekend for myself. Imagine you went like a tuxedo
game suit to a funeral because you are still wearing the.
Suit. Yeah, you are.
Yeah, yeah. You're like, oh, he's.
Really. A game suit with a tuxedo print.
Like a tuxedo T-shirt, but it's game suit.
He's really upset about the. Class.
Yeah, touch a class. Like Willie, What's wrong?
It's fell in love with tears. We always remember how he used
to love his rave music. They're not one of your
funerals. His niece and nephew are here
today. Now here's William to read one
of his favorite poems. You just read a passage of Wind
in the Spillows. It's not how long it took you
for winning this, fellows. I had it in the background.
For the fuck off, yeah, we're out of my GIMP.
Point you spill me in No, don't. I do not.
Thought you like friendship? Thought you got off from
friendship or whatever you said earlier.
Last week, that was different. Episodes.
Oh yeah, next week. Next week.
That I said that have you have you done weird stuff with these
Mickey Mouse he. Was sucking the thumb off.
That's right. A minute ago someone said test
your mic there, Willie. And he was going to he was.
And then he took it out of his mouth and I'm going to be sick.
There were snail trails all over it.
Did you? You're not hydrated enough.
Hey, most of that spits mine so it's fine.
Most most of it's mine. Most man goes.
I'm a chin to be silly. That's why I drive in the slow
lane. Next.
Week. Next week, Fox Sake.
Next week, come back to. That's very funny.
How can you? Go back and.
Listen, he's not doing wireless anymore.
Oh, how's Kenya now? That's good.
I need another coffee was the starting world.
I'm. Drinking one coffee a day now.
So that's what I'm saying. One a day.
You told me next week. We're all busy, shit just goes.
What is time anyway? Are you right?
You're right to construct time's a suggestion.
No, no, it's pretty much agreed upon measurement.
Says who bro? Most of the world.
It's even. It had to be brought in at some
point. No, it was always there.
Is she have any water? That's where my boiler is.
Jokes. I've been getting cold showers
for Jacques. Cousteau scuba thing.
Jocks on you. That's right.
I also said that shocks on you. Shocks.
On you. Because the way you would say.
No, don't make it with me. You're a big giant drink.
You've fully hydrated, no cracks in your skin.
Gorgeous man. You know you'll be pissing all
day and we have a long drive. Up all night.
We do have a long drive. Long drive today.
Yeah, next week. My wind tune's getting fixed.
He picked me up from the windscreen place this morning.
That's friendship, yeah. Love this friendship.
I always like they know me there because I'm like, I love a
flavour level. So it's they know.
They know me, they know me, they know my voice.
I was going to do it. I didn't.
Thank God you did. Would you have picked me up on
the windscreen place on the far side of Belfast?
Absolutely if you the wrong. Place to go to and then you go
to the other place that goes actually was it the first place?
Was it all a glass of power glass place?
Or with a different one, different one.
Yeah. He did do that.
He went, I went to the place he went Norman the other place,
drove to the other place he went actually Norman the 1st.
Place, but you were at the you. Were at the Put your windows in.
Yeah, I was. Of your house like.
It was a 12. It was a 12 minute detour.
Which in Belfast motorway traffic is great.
Especially with all those but. You went to the wrong place, so
don't. Don't act like you're perfect.
You went to the wrong place. I went to the right place.
When I googled it, you went to the wrong place and then sent me
to the wrong. I told you to pick me up at
National Windscreens at Stockman's Way.
You. Then I went, oh, this is the
wrong place. And I rang you or I voice noted
you when it's actually at Dunkern Gardens, whatever.
So it's like 15 minutes away. So can you meet me there?
And you said yes, but you had already gone to the wrong place.
Turned out to be the right place.
Which is in Morris, because I was at the right place, drove
away from what? Checked my maps and it was where
I was meant to be. Yeah.
Yeah, fuck. What happened to win?
We chip we yeah, no thanks. But.
Not for me it's not. But I.
Get the chips. Morning chips.
It's happened to me quite a bit. The we stones going up from
somebody else's car and ping mine and just cracked across it.
It's happened to me more than once, less than three times.
You live a lot near a lot of gravel.
What you live near a lot of gravel.
That will happen. Do you have me?
One time not even a seagull dropped a stone on my windscreen
1. Time.
Really. Yep, big one, you know, saw the
fucker. You fuming it wasn't the chip?
A few minutes. It wasn't just spit or hang on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll do that one.
Start again. Seagull dropped the stone away
window one time. You do your line.
I'll do. You're not raging.
It wasn't the chip. I was actually because I was
hungry at the time. But here do you know you would
have loved it if it was a big poo in your mouth?
Because you eat poo. Yeah.
I've already doubled down. Yeah.
What cerebral palsy is not? Doubled.
Mickey, I was second on an airport bus.
What I forgot about this? Yes, what I saw that on your
Instagram story. What was what happened?
You were apart from you were second ever did.
The gig in Bristol, I didn't even have dinner the night
before, so the set now looking back on it, I wasn't right.
We did the show, one of the best chosen to Bristol one hand and
check in. You ever get a chance to play it
in Bristol play, it's brilliant. That's clock and grip.
Did that the next morning get there is.
It excellent. Early start.
Cracking.
I didn't even want to talk if you.
Get the chance Cocker there to. Do it.
Yeah. Do you tell loads of new yokes
scrambled here, Don't you be? Poaching that one.
That's good. Right on.
Let me continue this story. So we're on the we shuttle to go
from the airport to the plane. I started not feeling good,
right? Let me do another one.
You already did that. 4 seconds ago.
You're being a real Benedict head.
It's been over easy anyway, I'm not that.
He actually poached his joke. What happened there, Foxy?
My head's right here. Don't know, you said, Head
scrambled. He did.
I didn't say it, I will, but fair enough.
Sure. OK, so there's a storm, I tell
you. Not metaphorically, Right.
I'm on the airport shuttle. We'll get to the plane, but
there's a storm outside, so they're not opening the doors.
And I start to go, oh, this is like 6:00 in the morning.
And I go, oh boy, I'm in trouble here, but at least these doors
will open, get me a bit of air. The doors stay closed for like
10 minutes and then and I go. I'm not feeling good here.
It goes other end of the bus he goes I'm gonna be sick is on the
emergency. Should I have the button?
I just went, yeah, just went back to my.
Camera button and the driver came round right.
By the way, the doors don't open, all the alarms just go off
and you just stand there going I'm going to be sick, everyone
going to be sick. I'm going to be sick.
That's why I hit it. I'm going to be sick.
The worst played. But I've ever seen I was like, I
think I'm going to be sick. And then a wee boy near me with
his mommy and daddy did a big fart and I went I'm going to be
sick. That was like that tipped me
over the edge. And then eventually the doors
open and I had passed by and the no dignity had to pass back the
by the driver. And I.
Went right to the front of the bus and grabbed onto the the
wing wipers and just wipers all over the place.
And then I start getting virus because I thought everyone will
think he's hungover. That's what I thought.
By the entire bus because he's hit the emergency button.
It's like just watching him, just.
Now luckily I had no dinner so there's nothing in me.
Also, oh that's worse thing because you're just with no.
Been drinking as in water and coffee or whatever so.
It's just, but also you throw up like a wee boy like when he's
second, there's no like, it's like.
I'm quite, I fully Mongolian throat singing.
I'm like, we were uni, I don't meet who?
There was a quiz, one that he won, a bottle of breakfast that
he wouldn't share it with anybody so he drank the whole
thing himself. And the next day we were all
standing under like the doors were rooms and he just
disappeared in his on suite. We left the door open and we
heard him vomiting and he went against.
Oh fuck it's purple. It sounds like a Geordie woman.
Yeah, that's pretty much what it was.
A whole bottle of Buck Fast. Drag the whole thing himself.
That's not out of the realms of like a.
But when you're fast either. But you know what it was.
See, when you were 18 and you were like you drunk on a budget,
it was the most decadent thing I've ever seen.
How does Buck fast the drunk that's a beer and stuff get you?
Is the difference in Buckfast is a rule of caffeine in Buck?
That's right. Yeah, it's like the difference
in smoking a joint and taking MDMA.
Oh. It's it's rocket fuel like it
gets you hyper as well. You they have an equivalent to
like what, 5 coffees or some? Yeah, it's an.
Intense like I bought bottles my 30th and.
Sugary. Jokes.
Yeah. And my ex-girlfriend came
downstairs, so I drank a bottle of book first after my 30th
birthday, and she came down the stairs and I was trying to climb
up a chimney like it was the two trying to fit size me up a
chimney. You done the reverse, Santa?
Yeah, she comes down. You're trying to the reverse.
Of the train yeah the Grinch it's called that's the only time
I have a jacket so that more really yeah, the.
Thing with Buckfast, people would say the number in the
bottle. Yeah, but.
It's shite, but what did that mean?
Something with the sweetness. People were like, oh to 23 or
what are. You know, is it not just the
batch it's printed it? I But that's what people
thought. I would say.
It was all. It was.
The lower the number, the lower in the barrel it was, yeah.
It was a thing of like, did you have?
I know, I know, I know. I'm not.
Saying, but the the the toenails you ever we used to talk about
if someone had a bottle block fast and you wanted the last bit
of it, you'd say, give me your toenails because the monks make
it and like squish, squish the grip some of.
Their the monks aren't that know what they're doing with their
fate. But still in an I'll be like
it's in there. But they're not in there jumping
on whatever. They'll be a machine.
I don't. There is Big Line Eagle,
absolute machine, just stomp, sit down.
Because I was, but I genuinely thought there was toenails in
the bottom of it, right, Because I never drank it.
And I remember a friend of mine getting caught drinking and
saying there's my but it's book fast, it's holy wine.
And she was like, you fucking be Catholic scab.
You're forgiven, yes. Do you think any older people
drink it like a little glass of Buckfast?
Yeah. You do I can't remember
someone's Dino does not sits down in front of the TV.
We glass buggy like. Never been into it like even
though like in Lurgan you can buy on the optics, You can buy
it in pubs Lurgan. Loves would you say Lurgan is
the most popular place for? I Google this to double check
because I don't know, but I remember here at one point there
was more buck fast sold in Lurgan than there was in the
entire country of Scotland one year.
And they love it. That's why you all look so good.
Yeah, I'm a woman, Lurgan. Miss Lurgan, seven years.
Just want Warren Pace and chamber borders.
But I last time I was in Australia as well so Dan
Murphy's their big like wholesale off license.
A bottle of Buckfast was $120.00 for 1/4 bottle because it was
imported. Because they use that, all the
Irish people. Yeah, Hunt 100 and. 20 for 120
you could get gold schlager for that.
Like, yeah. I don't gold slagger before.
You fucking would you? Hollywood can't.
Cut your throat. Open it though, it's a new
bloodstream. Yes, gets in there a bloodstream
I used to. What was my glands?
Oh, I did drink glands too, like.
Or if you're on holiday and you're on a budget, Rushkin off.
Get the old Rushkin off. Remember, was it Vodkats?
Do you remember that one? That was like it was it was
cheaper, but it was also less. It was like a Waker vodka.
Do you? Remember we Beastie.
No. Big Beastie.
I bet there was a we Beastie. Big beast, I think.
I think so. I mean a guy, you know?
No, was it was that an I was? Two brothers.
I went to school. It was an Aqua pop but it was
yellow. Do you remember it?
Spider web. No.
Oh, was there? So we were always into like we
we would buy like go to little and buy like 3 LB barracks and
then put blacker into them. And that was your pre drinking
at uni? Yeah.
I would just drop like Dumpy's, like Tesco beer, or we did that
together, like Sainsbury's beer. You just buy a 20. 4 bottle you
knew you were it was fucked when you would get those.
Like it just says Vogue on the bottle and you're like, that is
turpentine for getting rid of paint.
What was the other? The river Turpentine.
What? The one that's worse than
Rushkin Jarakov. He's a wrestler.
Which is Chris Jarakov. Yeah, it's the worst than
rushkin off. It's like.
Chris Jarakov, you can see me. I'm here.
Jericho, you do you watch porn in your room and what the hell a
Jericho? Literally you could see the
cleaners in Magaluf should pour it into the mop bucket and wipe
the floor with it. Like I one time Halloween and
dairy was my I had my last Henner and I bought a bottle of
white lemonade and a bottle of Sainsbury's vodka and walked
from Sainsbury's back to my flat in the passion rain.
I heard a clink and the vodka bottle head off the door in the
in the flat and I watched it all just pour out of the bag and I
was like, I'm going to suck the carpet here because that's my
last but like room of food. And it was like, I don't know
how the fucking going through Halloween managed to like some
charming. Did you some Wiley?
Did you? Suck a something.
No, I thought about it though, but before that kind of that
type of Olga starts to fumigate when you spill it, so you're
almost getting pissed off the air.
Yeah, Joanne. No, no, I know it was a
metaphor, but for life. And time during the summer ship
see the way like Tesco's or Sainsbury's dumpies see if they
were just in the fridge and you're sitting out in the sun it
didn't matter they. Still do anyway I think they had
not to stop doing those like cheap lock off ones.
Little. Still have because I drank
little. Sainsbury's beer used to be
good. I'm sorry you said that Might
They absolutely matters. They're fucking stain.
But when you're 16 year. Five guy you drink pets out of a
slipper? Like absolutely.
You got any? Yeah, What was the topical
thing? We're going to talk.
About Trump Is Jesus now? But within he was go, so it was
what, an AI pitcher? So after he slagged off the
Pope, I said that the Pope isn't America first.
By the way, crazy match up for the next Misfits Boxing.
The Pope. I'm simply the best.
So he slags off the Pope says he's not America first, then
released an AI video on his He's not on Twitter.
What's the one he's on? He's on not.
I'm released an AI video of him as Jesus healing a second.
But did he also then say he thought it was him being a
doctor? He says he's Red Cross worker.
Fucking what a glype. How the fuck is I've caught in
charge of the nuclear weapons like I?
Don't know, but it's funny as. Well, it's it's it's was getting
me, as well as the fact that like, Trump and Iran are like
talking shit at each. Other Iran's like.
On social media and you're like, lads.
But. You can't be being funny but the
end of the world like. Someone, someone did a timeline
of like one night and it might have been that night of when he
was like posting. And it's like those sort of
messages start at like 1:45 AM. I'll have this slightly roll and
then the last one is at like 5:00 AM retweeting certain
stories and writing things. And then the questions being
asked like is. He up is.
He sleeping like he's in charge of all this stuff and people are
going he's there's something wrong there.
Like he's not he's. OK, Netanyahu, you up?
Yeah. Sure, an old like concert video
as well. Forgot about this banger.
I've been watching Shane Mcgowan's funeral.
Great funeral, really good. Lonely bag on the YouTube Like
unrelated to the conflict. Banger, some people will need to
mind their own fucking business. Some snakes them out here.
Just me and Vance from now on. I saw things.
Is it his personal doctor has no way all he drinks.
Is that coke? Yep, and this guy apparently has
gone well. Diet Coke kills so many things,
we reckon it might be killing the cancer cells in his body.
And you're like, that's not good medical advice.
That's what Trump thinks because it kills grass, he goes well, it
kills cancer in my body and the doctor's like I I had there's no
convince him otherwise like he's.
That's like me drinking the whole way through code would be
like, well, I'm technically a hand sanitizer.
No, I mean, that's why I'm still here.
Do you do? We've got the same doctor.
Yeah, the time the the fact that it's like late in the more like
late night texts sort of thing is like that's mental.
I know. Do you think he's ways Like I'm
going to stay up because I know they'll be up?
Yeah. I'm not going to let you go to
bed first. But he's certain Diet Coke flat.
He probably can't fucking blink. Yeah, a lot of caffeine because.
He has a wee red button on his desk that he pressed.
Which is funny to be first, right?
That is funny. That is the one time you go.
I was funny, yeah. Yeah, if you could have on your
office desk a button and something comes, it gets brought
to you, what would it be? You're crisps.
Absolutely crisps. And some vinegar squares.
Yeah, because he asked me on tour Eagle.
I was going to the shop and I don't think it was some very
crisp, but you just pick something you think I like and I
just got those randomly and he goes, you couldn't have picked a
better. Crisp, you think it was barrels?
Yeah, fair enough. All right.
No you don't. But spot which I.
Enjoy spiral like. Which spirals be harder?
Come by our spirals. There are big like.
Are there? Oh fuck you guys.
Fuck with me. I know I forgot I would have a
vital red button. Mine would be a double
cheeseburger. McDonald's anything on it?
No, just plain double cheese. No red sauce.
No red sauce, no mustard, no onions, no no no gherkins, just
a wee double cheese. Yeah, just press that net.
So it's every time we press it and just a woman that's been
sold to him just comes in with a wee die cup.
Like that's how it works. Yeah.
I love Melania. Come now, be like, I want to
dispel the rumors of me and Epstein and everyone's like.
What we don't even know. That's like me coming on this me
like guys, I just want to talk about this.
Me kicking a dog to death. Didn't happen.
Didn't hear about it yet. Oh.
We haven't heard about it yet, but we can assume just looking
at it. But what is around do they did
him up as like some sort of like synth player, like some 80 sing
with the big like? So the song voyage, voyage,
they, it was like barricade, barricade, just keep a eye on
him and he's responding. We're like actually no end.
Jesus. Yeah.
Don't make sense. It's fucking insane that that's
what AI is being used for. Not the Terminator movies.
We thought the world was going to be just world leaders talking
shit with each other. Like, yeah.
He's the Iran of block to close the street, but then he's
blocked them, they're blocking of it.
He's. Trying to reverse or know them.
They've done a blockade of the street and then he's done a
blockade to their blockade. It's literally like me going,
Mickey, get out of here. And then you start not
believing. I'm like, where are you going?
Yeah, it's fucking insane behavior, like.
I yeah, that's like, cool, I don't want to be in the same
room as you. And then followed me into the
room that I'm in. Yeah, this is my.
First, get out. How would we, how would we sort
this down off the lazy boys? Go there.
Go to Pakistan for the peace talks.
JD Vance and the the Iranian foreign minister are getting
nowhere to go. Boys get this sorted like.
I reckon we go like this, we get spiral salt winner squares.
Yeah, salt winner spirals somehow, right?
No, no, no, We ate. We go taste that, right?
Taste that. Then you go see, they're
different, but they're the same. Just like us.
Yes. So now got in the head.
But then we've poisoned the spirals.
They're all dead. The lazy boys take Iran.
We're now all the ayatollahs of Iran and things are going to be
ran a little differently. Do we do we put a bit around?
Ladies, get your tits out. Do we put a bit of Ravi Shankar
on? Yeah.
Get a vibe. Yeah, we have like a live in to
celebrate taking over Iran. Just Ravi Shankar.
Who we book? Just Ravi Shankar.
That's all you need. Don't need.
More than Ravi Shankar like. That's true like.
I've been getting really into some of the stuff.
Have you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, same.
Fuck you suck up. No, I just, he just.
I just didn't realize Dan had showed me his PowerPoint about
him and I didn't realize how influential he was.
Yep. And once I took those chopsticks
in my eyes and was able to sort of blinker.
Ravi Shankar song Chopsticks in My Eyes.
Yeah, it's a great one. What Ravi Shankar songs have you
been getting into? The the what?
Ones. These stir stairway to Valhalla.
Yeah. What else?
It's a lot of cover versions. Really.
It's the cover version of them really into right.
Don't hit me baby. One more time.
Because he's obviously these were their peace and love.
Is he? Obviously.
Oops, I did it again. Don't worry about it because
we'll be reincarnated. Yeah.
And you'll get a second go. Yeah.
Karma Chameleon don't do anything.
Yeah, he doesn't. He just does exactly the same.
Yeah, yeah, there was the other one.
I don't know, You sent me it. Because I'm not.
Honestly, after we got all the hit for not knowing Ravi
Shankar, I spent all my time looking him up.
Because he taught George Harrison the satire.
I should the satire and you should give a fuck about that.
That's really important and it's not weird at all if you get
really annoyed that someone doesn't know that.
Yeah, because I I it. Doesn't give me the impression
at all that you smell bad so. I realized it was fucking.
It was rude of us to not know who he was because.
Man, there's a world working on well and we have the audacity to
not know someone who taught George Harrison the satire in
the 60. George Harrison's been dead 25
years, but don't let that look. One of my famously loads of
satire music about George Harrison.
Fuck my man, I didn't know. One of my favorite footballers
ever. Tar there was.
You know what? I actually bought Satire Hero
for the action and there's there's three songs on it.
But I'm I'm all about the satire.
Yeah, I love Ronaldinho, one of my favorite ever footballers,
and I just have always appreciated them.
But I realized how fucking rude of me.
Who are the youth coaches? They gave us Ronaldinho.
So I started going back and looking up these guys who were
his like under Fives coach and all that.
Same as me. Now.
I love Arnold Schwarzenegger, but I've never paid attention to
how good he was at the glockenspiel.
Yes, so I found the guy who taught him his coach.
I I stuck Ravi Shankar on YouTube.
My granddad came in and went, who's that?
And I just kicked him to death because I like, don't you
fucking dare not know who Ravi Shankar is Too far.
I didn't know who I was either. It was very confusing for Yeah,
but it's just that. I realized how rude that we're
not into the same things that people we don't know into.
Yeah, in that room. They all seem really cool.
I wish I knew all those things, yeah.
The Ravi Shankar heads are the cool guys.
See, when they're not munching box, they're listening to Ravi
Shankar. Another great one of his.
Yeah. He had one really dirty album.
Munching box. So it's a place for where he's
from. It's a little time.
As you can tell, we're not at all shook up by the amount of
angry fuck. All shook up.
Great. Another one.
Yeah, Yeah. Michael J Fox on that one's very
good album. It's a partnership and.
Let's do a thing now where you have.
Just said he had reviewed him. And he got a free Parker pen.
That's what we need to do in the Middle East, give them a free
Parker pen just for coming to the negotiating.
For a Parker pen, if you if you got a Parker pen in school, that
was, oh, somebody's that was working overtime.
Yeah. Do I mean the first day of
school? So he gets their new Pepsi Max
pencil kiss and they go here. In our.
Famous metallic click. To keep a bit, you know, like
Parker in the Navy Seals and all you have to shave heads everyone
to see him, yet they have a uni ball pin that was a brand uni
ball and you had to have that. You weren't allowed like fancy
pen do. You remember towards the end of
his career, Parker started the New Sun Life plans.
Yeah, which are very much a. Free Parker pen just.
Was a free Parker, I know, but it's like, oh, I'm Michael
Parkinson. If you recognize me, you will
die soon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're going to die, Sharon. Yeah, sure of this free pocket.
Pen. It's him like hogging old
ladies, being like she's not got long left but her sons very
happy because he'll be fucking loaded.
Yeah, Sun Life do a stream of consciousness just talk.
Like just go, go, go, go, go. Just say things.
What do you think I've been doing my entire?
No, just like, but just go. No, just go.
Words. Words now.
You put me on the spot. It's hard to do when someone
tells you to do it, yeah. Right, I'll start you off by
saying rivers running through the streets of Amsterdam go, go,
just. What are you doing?
What the fuck is it's? Just an exercise to see.
Can you just like? Have you been?
Have you been doing some? We we prepare topics so this
doesn't. Give me a word or give me
something you've. Been you've been doing some sort
of mental health podcast right now, haven't you?
Yeah. Give.
Me a thing, Mickey Mouse. So I could just go so just it's
whatever pops into your head and you just have to talk really
fast, right? So you're like Mickey Mouse
traveled through the desert with lemon custard hands the boy at
the window with the clock for a face and.
Oh no feelings book you've been reading up.
Right, it's. Still watching the mighty Bush?
Are you trying to explain to me what stream of consciousness is
me with a level English and you're going to tell me in
stream of I've read cultural? A level English Yes in the flex.
Absolutely as a flag. What would you get in English?
Would you get your A levels B? What levels you do?
I did do English left for a level.
They do go see for a level. You in DA levels?
You went attack? Yeah, come.
And I did a level newslet. No, you went to tax.
Not really a level, it's not the same.
All right, Fausty. Oh, we didn't have a look.
My best friend Sheen actually text.
Just in fact. It's just good as you get man.
Fucking leg and hole you suck up in you, would you?
Get an A star teachers pet. BMC represent Belfast
Metropolitan College. I wish I went there.
To be fair, I did history, politics and drama.
Got a day in drama to 1° though. You got D in drama?
Yeah. Hi.
I thought you'd be really, really good.
It was mostly theory so you had to read stuff and I was like,
now I'll do that. I also have my driving test.
I have my driving test the same day as my animal drama field
both them. Did you get?
They give you a day and you're like, I believe it's a name.
No Jordan, I actually have those.
I gave you ADB helping off penis.
I got a day when I got the Hasmark in the class.
Fucking hell yeah. How bad was your class?
It's pretty bad. Like Jesus Christ, we all
basically we nobody wanted to actually do a third edible.
So we just we had the campaign to get drama on the syllabus and
then we did them. So it's really, it's really
imperative that we all feel this now, period.
They did a flash, They did a flash mob the protest.
Fucking right. We're in a set in, but how to
imagine? That's how he spells words with
S. Large, large unit on the word
life. Yes, and.
That's not really dramas, comedy, improv.
Like that's just improv. We were more kind of in the in
the classic. What was your pace?
Only your business, but 6 1/2 hard so.
You filled your miles as well. With nose doing this name but in
the imperative scale. It's imperative you finish this
story. Go ahead.
What was the story? What did was your drama pace?
Did you have to do a final? Piece so you know that was for
uni No So oh, in first year in the in the lower sector with the
divisor player and then in the second.
Play. I can't make it out today, boys,
to play batten ball in the street.
I'm devising a play. Level English literally come in
handy for him. To be or not to be?
That's the question. That's what we're.
Asking I am on record as referring to was Winston
Shakespeare. That's that's how little little
tension I bet I. Believe that we dog from the
insurance, wrote all those players.
So what was the the play? The play we had to do is a play
called 448 Psychos. I remember this now and it was
written by. It was basically a woman written
her own written her own suicide note.
It was fucking dark as shit. Oh, he did it. 10 minutes.
It was, it was bad like, and we were bad at it.
And then one of the things that happened was we either do it for
like an adjudicator and once we've done it all week.
So we had this drama. Students would go out drinking
after their like after exam, their fucking practical exam.
And the next day we came in hungover and our teacher was
like, the principal wants to come down and see the fucking
player and we were all dying. And it's a dead dead serious
play with this woman that keeps waking up at 4:48 in the morning
in the psych ward. And we all just Buster whole
laugh. And the principal was like,
these are a bunch of pieces of shit.
And we were like, yes Sir, we are indeed.
And then years later he came to see me do stand up and he was
fucking horrified. The end.
As your principal or a tea as a teacher, ever seen you do stand?
Alone might come to mind. Yeah, I was.
We teachers. Teachers loved me, I was.
I wasn't a teacher's pet. It was a wee cheeky scamp but
the light to me for it. Not disruptive.
You were cheeky but not disruptive.
Disruptive as far right? I've had a load of teachers come
see me last one at the waterfront.
There was five teachers from my school were backstage Rock and.
Roll. Come backstage, Roll party and
Mr. Henderson's on the drink. And I was still calling them
like Sir and Miss miss. Calling you a cheeky.
Slutty. Funny enough, yesterday I saw
the hot teacher from my school yesterday in a shopping centre.
What was he doing? Roll away from me.
He's gay. Flipped it.
Fucking yeah. So the hell our teacher.
Did you chat with each other? No, but it was just like.
Still would like oh, I forgot her Picasso would you don't go
with. Her fucking rated what?
I mean, I had fucking we Jackson, Microsoft, Pollock,
Monet. Go home, have a bank over
that's. Quite good.
What about her Picasso? They already did that one.
Technically. I can't think of any other
artists. If you listen to her instead of
sexualizing her, you fucking misogynist.
No, I actually was really annoyed at art because I thought
that would teach me how to draw, but it turns out if you couldn't
do it, you're fucked. That's a great point you never
got taught. You never got taught how to do
it. That annoyed me, yeah.
That's mental. Yeah.
I was thinking that now. You can either draw you could.
I just see the art students, their big massive folders and
the big massive briefcase. Stuff, yes, Fuck, I'm a good
music class. I'm actually a good drawer.
I used to. Take the detention instead of
doing hard homework because you fucking loads of homework to do.
And they're like also make a make a fucking clay animation of
how you feel. I'm like, I'll just sit in on a.
Friday, I remember what we the make like a fucking like an ass
trip, which you would think would be in CDT, but it was in
art and using the kill and all sort of stuff.
And then you had to paint it and mine was shite.
And I was like, well, whose fault is it?
Because you just let me out that yeah, with no experience, I
could also build you a shite Conservatory because you haven't
taught me how to do it. Yeah, who's this really on here?
Like he's been trying his best. I understand why he's angry.
Lazy. Boys Patreon special We build
people conservatories. I would say would start with the
asterisk way up. But that would teach you history
of an artist and then just go paint like them.
Yeah, I'm sitting there like a shy painter and have nowhere
I've taken the wrong. The song about Vince Van Gogh
Vincent by Don McLean is. Is that?
Oh, so it is. That's.
Not by Vincent, no. It's about him.
What's wrong with that? Vincent Vincent by Don't
McDonald, You know, don't clean American Pie.
Yeah, no, no, yeah. Starry, starry night.
That's not American. You can't wear sunglasses
anymore. You cut your ear off you stupid
whore, and now your hearts are all upside I.
Don't know this at all. Right.
Well, there's. Vincent, you fucking day.
Apparently I'm not allowed to do that.
Why'd you cut your bollocks in ear off?
He just bollocks to shake. He was, he was a bad bastard.
Never mind the area, he's got his ball.
It's. About going mad.
As I lead to and he was a very complicated man, like he was
just mental slicing himself. Listen to the song Vincent
Beautiful. Do you know what right I was
watching 2012 the movie with John Cusack the.
I've never seen about another movie.
It's shite and good at the same time.
Yeah, one of those ones. But there's a bit at the start
of that where the government know the words about the end.
So they replace the Mona Lisa in the Louvre with a copy of the
Mona Lisa, right. And I found myself going.
Save the world, though. Because they want, they want to
put the original one in a vault so that whenever, because they
know they're basically the plot of the movie is like all the
words about the end. We know how to fucking stop
everybody from down. So we'll take all the good shit
and keep it, but we can't tell anybody we're.
Doing really good when you're how many?
People and. People have got.
It's a couple 100,000 it's all millionaires and billionaires
that like buy tickets on these big arcs.
It's shite but good but shite at the same time.
But it made me think like if you can do a really good copy of the
Mona Lisa, why is the Mona Lisa still worth money doing?
I don't get why arts valuable sometimes.
It's it's the value people put into it, which is why I hear art
sometimes don't like modern art. As an investment, but to buy it
they just put up in your gaff like mental see?
If you came home, you're like, I spent 3,000,000 on the Mona
Lisa. I'm like you could have got but
if. An Xbox if you get a decent but
if you get a decent copy of the Mona Lisa you could just tell
your mates the real 1. What the fuck is that like?
So that's about to go this. Is Ravi Shankar over, you know?
I went If you're bad for 3,000,000, might that be a
bargain? Most of the Mona Lisa worth
because we Google. That would be in Bargain Hunt,
Jeanette and Stephen here. A lovely little investment is
about Alicia. Great care the.
Goal for the Duke like. 70 lbs. OK, 3,000,000 Thompson, how much
think it's worth? I just said 3 million.
That's what you're going, that's.
What I'm going for? OK.
I'm going to go fucking 800 million.
I'm going to go priceless. A billion a belly power for a
Mona Lisa eat. My Dick with the side of my
nose. Do what?
Fuck yourself, you know, somebody fucking sell it.
And that's that's a wild. Reaction.
That's a wild reaction to that. Fuck yourself you little cunt.
That's insane. World's angriest art concert.
I want your Hitler's painting. Also, he goes, he goes in on a
million for a Mona Lisa. I just see you outside
somebody's house you've met in marketplace, getting back in the
car. He's 100 million.
You wanted a billion for it? Give me a £40 for it, I'll pick
it up myself. And you're not even delivering
some. Countries don't have.
Them posted your packages. Why?
The fuck did France during the recession ask for a loan?
Sell some of the artwork. Cheese eating cunts.
You're rude. Fucking wine swelling thieves.
Sell some of your artwork. Then wine swelling not there.
Me too, yeah. We are, we are, we are indebted
to sell some of that shit. There the accents.
Fucking. Fucking Barry Kyogre over there.
Larry Kid Logan. We are in the very much debt to
them fucking cells so. What is that?
The most expensive paint in the world.
We want to make this film. Well, the screen we called.
The screaming guy be worth a bit.
Oh, is that munch? Yeah.
And it's it's. Van golf some floors as well.
Bound to be worth quite a bit. Fuck, imagine being like.
Rembrand that we rembrand worth a bit.
Well the most expensive piece ever sold was a Da Vinci piece
Salvatore Monday which got went for 450 million.
Salvatore Monday took a verdict on Tuesday.
Thank you. I couldn't see past this.
The fucking says we own talent. But I'd hate to be like I'm
during his lifetime he died in poverty but we're now selling it
for a billion. Fuck.
I know I'd better be going to his family if he hadn'tly, yeah.
Yeah, I'd be You're sitting there fucking big hole in the
side of your head and you have not 2 pennies scraped together
and then some. Fuck, you could sell.
You could sell that people. You could sell that and bring
them back to life, Joe. Joe Less does a bit, and I think
it's his last special where he's talking about when Picasso died
and it was like 1980 or something.
Yeah, yeah. He's like he would have seen
like so much like you've been driving in like a modern search
and listen and spring theme stuff.
Excellent, excellent. That's good stuff.
That's Mickey. Bartley.
I remember the wee ads for that car, but it was all artful and
the wee robots would. Scribble.
That's right, that's right. That was great.
What? Car ever had the dancing robot?
That was the Transformers come out.
Yeah, that was sent from one as well.
What was a car when you were when you were a kid looking at
cars on the road or like you saw?
That Dastardly drove. No, I mean like a legitimate
car. You asked me.
Questions. Take my answer.
See, for me it was a Renault Laguna.
I remember as a kid seeing like people driving, them being like
we. Drove that.
We drove that. Wacky Races.
Nobody was perfect. There was a Renault McGann
coupe. Remember the WE 2 door 1?
And I seen a couple of them soaked up when Fast and Furious
was a thing. Being like, that's a bargain.
A Renault Laguna. The one that the hillbillies and
they just put their feet and ran.
That was the Antel mob. That was the Flintstones.
It was the Antel mob as well, but in Wacky Race as well.
Yeah. Listen, see, if you're asking me
cars, you're getting Wacky Races.
I don't know cars. I don't know cars really, but I
remember as a kid going, I want that.
Yeah. Course it was.
It was a sought after a fucking better kit.
That was sort of the better kit. I mean that was one that
everybody like because I had a Clio, but it was a 5 door and
you didn't look as cool. I love people could when people
could easily get into the backyard.
This is cool, but when you know we fucking.
When I showed the pick you up and then hop in, I give you a
push up. Yeah, if.
I ever had that. I'd be like, you have to climb
over me to get. In I wish I had just kept that
course. Have is like a secondary thing.
It's still up that helm other was remembered like when the
Cleo came up with the theme like Nicole, Papa, the Albert and
anybody who had the Cleo, you couldn't get into it as you went
Nicole Pepper. Ontario, we did Unicequa.
Is it your de vivo? Is it Jenicequa?
Oh yeah. Is cool?
No. But cool is not always.
That's a throwback, and it's a fucking throwback.
It's a. Great.
Would you love? I mean, they don't really do it
anymore. Would you love to get booked for
an ad? Get famous off your book for an
ad for a car? No.
What Car would be? The one Dick Dastardly and
Motley You're but I'm motley. We know.
You're Dick Dastardly. All right.
That just go fuck yourself. I could see me being.
Will you hold the camera? No, you've not you've.
Not the car over. I could be.
This whole concept was my idea. This is my extreme of conscious
pricing. I was trying to.
Pricing you out immediately. I could see myself being a WE
school together. How do scolders ads What?
Was the one that made it kick cack.
Scolder, I think do. You know what obsessed me about
Skoda is now the Alberts have people's call it Skoda Scottish
would be like you went by a Skoda.
Fucking odd person. You know the day I scored.
That 80 man, it's a shame as a Volkswagen man. £12 budget,
yeah. What's early me?
Scored that. They're not a broker scored the
finance or nothing. Couldn't do it by Hyundai.
You could be like a. Granny at the hospital in a.
Yeah, tell you it was good mileage manages new fucking
Toyota. You know who would be the best
person to do score the voice overs?
Sean Connery. God wrestling.
No, get dead on me. So we're not hockey.
Mickey Do Sean Connery doing voice overs for school.
There's car, there's quite a shake, a sheet do belly Connery.
But say, say Squiry. Mate, you'll be jumping.
Mate Berry want to travel? Just.
You'll be dafty Miss Pato and these are mad.
It's good on Reddit. Just do Sean Connery saying
scolder. It's just the same Scolder.
Yeah, Scolder. That's good.
It's fucking nice. I've told the story on it's a
famous Sean Connery story that I forget that the actor's name,
the actress's name where he was in a restaurant and have you
heard this before? There's two guys like debating
over like who's the who's the most famous person he shagged
and Sean collage with his wife and he's like fucking knocked
out the head boys. I'm with the Mishish.
And then I can't think of a say it's not Audrey Hepburn, but
that's to say it was. As he's leaving the restaurant,
he leans into the three lines. He goes oddly help on 1960
shakes up the arse. And then he slapped his wife in
the back of the head when I'm only fucking about because he
was a bad bastard. Remember that optional interview
where he's like, sometimes you have to hit them?
It's like bro. Inside Voice.
Because sometimes they don't listen.
Skoda. If you want.
It's a shyland. There's a bathroom woman.
That won't make it in. I think I wouldn't mind doing
Audie. I do Audie or some do their ads.
I wouldn't. I can't say Walksburg dirt
technique. Oh did I just don't know what it
means. What yours don't be Volkswagen.
Volkswagen Hugo Boss. Only the lorries though, if
Volkswagen bring her to train. Take, take.
For fewer details, head to volkswagen.com.
You did not see this discount coming.
Which one of you was driving? Once you stop, you can't.
Oh fuck. It's gonna say once you're
start, you can't. Gestapo butterfuck.
That would have been, I would have done it right.
That would have been good. You could do score and just do
the pronounce the two yeses. By the way, down is not looked
at me without anger since I got how much the Mona Lisa is worth
wrong. You've been looking at cars for
a long time but can't find someone for you?
I've got the final solution come down to Volkswagen.
You're really down to. Dance than emporium, crazy
prices and there's an inflatable man at the front.
He's just one arm. You'll really like it.
Really went on with the rain. That was solid.
That was good. That was good stuff.
And that's a she and Todd thumbs up.
That's. A lazy port guarantee.
Me doing this is like when Paul Hollywood shakes your hand.
Get goose stepping down to your little your dealership.
Fuck. I have good ideas but I just
can't get them out. I.
Haven't tell me, but it's OK, we'll get there.
More. Ah, cars.
I I am so lost with cars I just don't know them.
Make what's one thing it's making you excited for summer.
Pints, Pints, hi. No smoking, smoking cigarettes
one day, the one day where I treat myself that we 20 deck of
bangs. Say you're going to say that
you're you hear next week it's going to hit 24°.
Right, we're cancelling everything.
You have a few mates coming to Belfast, the one like a beer
garden type experience. Where you going for outdoor
paints in Belfast? Kelly Sellers class On a real
good day, it's hard to beat. Is the sun hitting it?
I think it does it, I don't know.
It does you mean. OK, Kelly Sellers.
Well. Bone yards Good.
Bone yards great, actually. Thirsty goats?
Good. Can I show something right
there? Cutters Wharf.
What do you send it up? I don't think I've been.
Not handy. Like it's down the back of
Strong Mills. Some flower on the water.
I will say this, your recommendation on pints across
the road the other week. That's best thing.
That's. Some of the best games ever had.
Went down for one, got home at 5:00 in the morning.
So I think that's going to be a new Lazy Boys thing where I can
see when we do. Normal.
I've always, I've always wanted to have that old school in
1970s, nineteen 80s. Sure, we'll go for one after
work kind of vibe and I reckon that could be our pub.
How's that 1970s, Nineteen 80s? You couldn't do it.
The 90s most too dear women were loaded.
You mean? But that place, you wouldn't get
a woman in there. Be afraid.
No, when you walked in that everyone turn around, look,
there's no. Way like three people were in
that's like that's. A good of a pub it is.
When we walked in, Daniel Sloss went, oh proper pub.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. As they got seen in the American
war with in London. Do you know when the rec We
don't get strangers? It would it wouldn't be see if
they did that place up inside like.
Be the same, it would ruin it. I reckon the mold in the
bathroom is the reason why the pain stays so good.
Yeah, so nice. Gorgeous.
Fuck it, let's go for a. While.
I can't. I can't do it today.
I told you about, well, I tell the story about Ginge getting
barred. Please don't.
So my dad has had to be it since since growing up.
So he's probably mid 70s probably see me just my dad
Ginge right and lovely guy, lovely fella, right.
But Ned's has like which is the Maple bar.
People don't know Hollywood. So the thing everyone loves
about it is when you walk in there, nobody gives a fuck.
You have to be dressed up. There's no like dress code type
thing. It's literally go in and sit
down and have a pint and shut up.
It brings the pints down to you. Yeah, so when like games, Game
of Thrones were over and stuff, all the actors were in there
like every night because nobody bothers you.
It's also they're like, it's not out by now, but it used to be
like mobile phones were banned. I told you this.
You don't believe me? See, if you were sitting Brian,
who who would have been running like every night?
Who owned the place? If you were sitting like texting
or doing something on your phone, he'd come over to you and
be like. There's also no segments, No.
Yeah, which feels like it's on purpose.
So you. Wouldn't be allowed to have your
phone or see if you were being like loud and rowdy or just like
shouting or anything. Get it.
So you can get barred pretty easily.
So if you're like doing something that Brian doesn't
like, like you would just be like get out in your Bard and
you'd probably go. I'll just chance going in a
couple of weeks. My dad's mate Jane, you got
barred in like the 70s for, by the way, for nothing.
As I say, this is a lovely fella.
There was an argument going on and he ended up like wrong
place, wrong time, but wasn't involved in the argument.
And Brian saw it and was like, Jane, get out your Bard.
And he was like, but I wasn't doing anything with your Bard.
I have my dad's 70th upstairs. So there's a function room
upstairs. I had it in it and and Jane
should be a good mate of my dad. So somebody on Ginger's behalf,
just as a courtesy, went back to Brian and called in the neds one
day and was like, listen, Jane got banned.
Obviously it was like 50 years ago from each common the
Dennis's party, like just obviously sure, that's all
right. And Brian's like that a barn.
Yeah, Yeah, but he's barred. Unbelievable.
You wouldn't let him go to the party.
After like 40 years. That's fucking unbelievable.
Respectable. But they did not remember he
barred him you. Know he remembered he barred
him, but he was like, did a bar Yeah.
Well, then he's barred. Oh, so it wasn't like oh die
bar? No, no, he remembered.
Everybody's barred. Have we?
Have I told the story about? I have.
I think I might have told this last week, but Andrew Wolf from
The Lobster. No, but sounds like a Roald
Albert. So there's a there's a Chinese
restaurant. There's a Chinese restaurant,
Chinese restaurant in Perth after I've never been to it, but
all the comedians go and hang out after festival shows because
it's open like 4 in the morning, right?
And a comedian made of mine, Andrew Wolf, went in one night,
was hammered, stole a lobster out of the tank and tried to put
it back in the sea, right? So partly the lobster was biting
was her and like nipping his ears stuff.
He's like, I'm gonna afraid this little fucker.
So the guy was like, you're fucking barred.
And about 5-6 years later, he tried to go back in and the guy
remembered him and he was like, no, you're barred.
And Wolfie's like, I promise I'm not going to do it again.
And he did this again because this message went around loads
of comedians all over the world, like Wolfie did it again.
The. Thing that goes against him is
he's such a character that like I'm a such an energy that you'd
remember him. Oh.
Yeah, yeah. What a guy I.
Think I've met Wolfie. I.
Like you would fuck you would love.
Him, love him. You would still love him.
Is he very much my kind? Of man he is.
You've met him. When?
He fucking does this this on. This is a similar episode
before. He does this, he has brain
damage and doesn't remember things out of vadnais.
He was talking about Robert Levandowski, like legendary
footballer still playing. Yes, I would love to have seen
him play sometime. And I was like, you dead in
Barcelona. It doesn't be.
Just don't remember. And Barcelona news went, yeah,
well, I mean, of course he doesn't remember.
I saw the way he was walking to the match.
Do you remember we did Freyo social when we were Is that
Perth? That's Fremantle, yeah.
And. Fremantle, right?
And then you had a gig in town. Right.
Because he sort of joked with it.
Right. OK.
Thanks, Rob. Do you remember?
I'll be honest, you remember that you got a gig you sorted.
Yeah, I remember you come down to the gig.
I'm at a koala. Was it that day?
Stop being facetious. So did.
You prove yourself. He you Michael Jackson with
dementia. Hey.
Thanks. You did this.
You did open for me. But then he was also on under.
So they just sent someone and it was him and I was like, fucking
unbelievable. Yeah, but you had a we crossover
them and you met him. But if you met him pre gagging,
not drinking, you're probably you might not remember.
Yeah. He's the guy that I saw.
It was like we were in a pub. He's like, I fucking are you a
drunk? Can't.
And I watched him walk into the bar, order the drink for me
naked and go fuck. He's brilliant.
Yeah, I would enjoy that. I'd like to meet that guy.
I would have fun. He's he's one of the best
comedians I've ever seen. Yeah, like.
But you're not coming to Australia this time because
you've betrayed me, William, with your own ambitions, you
know, your own tool and. Then you'll talk my sore
support. Yes, because I want to take.
Me. Good luck following me.
Can't. That'll be fun.
That'll be good. Laugh.
We're going to head up Glasgow hard.
I'm going to be off but then. No, with a day off after as
well. Motherfucker.
In Glasgow. In Glasgow, which the way it's
selling, will not be doing that show.
I would like to suggest that we stay in the Ibis and so like
near Sucky Hall St. because the bar says it normally.
Oh, Willy boy. Get a nice apartment and we buy
drinks. Oh, we could do that too.
I always stand in a nice apartment.
I want you to embed by 11. What there though?
Yeah. Times are called eventually time
on the chest. Oh dear, Oh dear, you're going
to suck them off to you. Wouldn't need that hand.
Some people up, I got like that. Wouldn't know.
Put his deck in a blind moment on, she says.
Right, Don't smoke. I'm not trying to split the G on
his cock. Yeah.
What G Oh, I don't know what I'm doing.
I'm so tired. One hour podcast.
I'm fucking that's. Real for baby.
Class so excited. What?
Does that sounds me? I'll be honest, no.
This was nice. I'm still say, yeah, really
self-conscious there. Getting worse and have a smelly
hand he can't get rid of it. Yeah, it's.
About every time you forget you like, wipe your mouth.
But there's other there are things that are worse,
obviously. Yeah, for sure.
Hard. Problems.
Smelly hands. Never had two smelly hands in my
life. Create a little dial book.
I'll do it for the lobster and two smelly hands.
Edward, raise your hands. The same episode.
What was the best book you were ever read when you were a kid?
In a Blighton, there was an in a Blighton 1 and it wasn't that it
was. The Marvels, not the.
Fantastic five of the Adventurous 4.
The Adventurous 4 was a fox 2 couples.
She's a wealth of ideas, Her no? No, it was.
It was 2 couples. Trap.
It's just three, yeah. It was 2 couples on a cruise.
The adventurous, Yeah. Yeah, look, she did.
Everything she did was numbers game, wasn't it?
Was the adventurous 4 Famous 5. Senator 6.
Slippy 7. Enormous Eradicate 999.
As you say, nonchalant man. Very uninteresting book.
You. Lenny Mclean's autobiography The
Governor. You read that as a kid.
Yeah, we'd read it called The Bed.
I basically read what my dad was finished.
To be different at 5 he was reading.
The But yeah, I remember like reading the Shankill Butcher's
book about 9 or 10. That was a bit fucking weird
too. Because your dad was reading
like history books. No man, I'm just a psycho.
Because I would just read my. Dad.
For me was finished reading so he just gave me that book.
I miss reading, you know I don't.
Know I used to do that too I used to do that as a kid I would
actually read books that my dad was reading so I remember
reading How to snog guys quite a bit the.
Yeah. Snogging guys for dummies.
Yeah, for bummies. Get some boys.
Say for Brahmies. Bommies all right, all.
Right for Brahmies. All right, let's come here.
No to give you a big snog mice. No fucking snogging.
Would you go with my mice? You bit me, you can't.
Buy all 2 of the Pakey Boomers. I'll do.
Thanks. This is a tired absolute today.
Folks, she talk comedy.com Woo doing America may woo Australia
in October. Willie T is doing the Edinburgh
Fringe Festival. He's doing his own tour.
William Thompson comedy.com His new show Touching Grass is very
good. Go check that out.
Mickey Bartlett, comedy.com, Mama.
All this for a while, you never know, something might be.
Coming up on the stove, so go over there Mickey Bartlett
comedy.com and this is of course lazy boys.
We of course have a Patreon Pedro on the com slash Lazy
boys. We're going right now to record
our special and if you like this and you'll want to come and see
the boys live June 14th in the Limelight in Belfast.
Tickets will be out next week. The link will be in the
description for this. You know where to find.
We'll see you there. Thank you very much folks.
All the best. See you soon.
Don't be doing one of those face filters.