Are you familiar with FBI Special Agents Kyle Serpen?
I'm familiar with the name. Is that yes?
I'm familiar with the name, familiar with the name, familiar
with the name. Let's bring in Kyle Serafin.
He's the. FBI whistleblower who helped
expose. Government censorship of our
First Amendment rights. Now we only have this memo.
Because a recently suspended FBI agent called Kyle Serafin
brought it to the public, and we're grateful that he did.
Kyle, thank you so much for joining us tonight.
He's the host of something that strangely is called the Kyle
Serafish. Kyle Serafi.
I can't thank you enough for speaking out.
I knew you guys were out there, and I knew it was just a matter
of time. But you got a lot of guts put in
your face and your name to this. You're doing a service on behalf
of the American people. And from the bottom of my
cracked and broken heart, sometimes, thank you very much.
Take a look behind the curtain with a real whistleblower, an
American patriot. Prepare to embrace the
uncomfortable truth, because this program has no time for
comforting lies. Here is civil liberties
enthusiast, Second Amendment defender and recovering FBI
agent Kyle Seraphin. Hello my friends, welcome to the
Kyle Seraphin show. Today's Friday.
It's October the 4th. We're rolling live all the
places that we roll Rumble and ex and locals.
Yeah, folks, we did our locals call in last night.
If you guys want to join the Locals program, go to
kyleseraphin.com, sign up. You could be a free member, you
could be a paid member. Take a pick and we have a good
time. The subscribers to our local
channel get to call in with some really fun, nice and also some
substantive discussion last night about parallel
construction. Got to talk to a folks that have
been listening to us since the beginning and that we really
appreciate. So if you guys want to support
us on locals, we appreciate that.
Let me just go ahead and get us started off by saying today's
program is brought to you by my friends over at Catholic Vote
and they are also Catholic Vote coffee mug slingers, of which I
am carrying one right now. catholicvote.org,
catholicvote.org.
Faith, family, freedom. People are trying to do the
right thing. You know what the they're
pushing back against Melania Trump.
We're going to play that for you today.
You can follow them on social media at Catholic Vote and they
are our number one sponsor, hands down.
Really appreciate them for what they're about.
They maintain the principles. So Steve and I had a little bit
of a fun morning today trying to get us on board.
Let me just bring Steve on. Steve, how you doing today,
buddy? Oh, I'm great.
And it's glad that you can hear me because we were trying to
communicate with each other and I was just hearing myself in a
feedback loop. But that's not a very fun.
It's always difficult to actually articulate an idea.
Plus, I don't really like listening to myself.
I'd much rather listen to you. Well, let's do it back and
forth. OK, so here's where this show's
going to go, because you're coming in with me cold.
We want to talk about the three headed monster.
Let me put the thumbnail back up on the screen.
There it is. OK folks, the three headed
monster war, dockworkers strike and hurricane relief.
That's what CNN said the other day.
That's what their their senior political correspondent claimed
and apparently totally forgot about the southern border and
the economy. The other monster.
So I have 5 monsters on the screen and we're going to talk
about some of them. Dockworkers strike is over.
So we're going to touch on oh look, I actually made a slide
with all of us on there and we can talk.
So there you go, dockworkers strike is done.
I guess we can cover that first. Does that sound good?
And then we'll. Move on to thank you very much,
Vice President Kamala Harris. I'm sure you were integral in
that part. It definitely wasn't a shakedown
that they delayed just for political reasons.
So I got real interested last night and what I found is that I
don't normally go to the AP for all the things, but AP is the
wire service, The Associated Press.
And if you guys know anything about how new services work,
there's a couple of like, quote UN quote wire services.
Reuters is one of them. And what they do is they put out
these sort of like theoretically unbiased little pieces and then
everybody can go and spin on it and then do their journalism
spin. So here's the the wire service
coming out of Detroit saying I don't know why out of Detroit
because the dock workers were not based there, but so be it.
45,000 striking US dock workers. This is the the International
Longshoremen's Association, also known as mobsters who make dudes
disappear into the back of trunks.
They came to a tentative wage agreement and the union and the
ports have basically released a very short statement saying that
they sweeten their deal from 50% total increase in their wages
over six years to 62%. I don't know if the automation
thing is out there. It's a tentative deal because
the the workers have to ratify it.
They have till January the 15th, which is very interesting
because that will be right on the border of whoever the next
president is during the inauguration.
And so they've crossed off one of the five monsters and solve
that problem. Now they just have to figure out
how to not screw over Americans in hurricane relief.
And the economy, immigration. And what was the other big one?
Oh yeah, war breaking out all over the world.
And don't forget we have a child care crisis and then the sun God
is really angry at us and we have to murder all the babies
that still have a pinky toe still in the birth canal.
That's correct. Listen, lest anyone think that
our media is not fair and and unbiased and and and balanced, I
have this woman. I had to lie.
I was like, is this Leslie Stahl?
I don't know who the old white ladies that are always on MSNBC.
They're always the worst people on Earth.
This is the worst person, but this is Andrea Mitchell and this
is how you do a serious interview, Steve.
This is probably why you and I don't have the traction that we
hope this is how you do a serious interview with a
spokesperson for Kamala Harris's campaign who looks like he.
I can't tell if he's. I don't know what's wrong with
this guy. He looks like a human glow worm.
I'm just going to call him that. He's got little speckled
glasses. His his head is enormous.
His neck is tiny. His shoulders are not big.
His waistline is microscopic. And he benches not the bar.
That's what I'm going to say. So here's Andrea Missile.
This is how you do a serious interview of somebody in
politics. You ready?
Send it. Get your get your pad out, take
notes. This is how we do.
Now you've got 33 days and you've got all kinds of things
happening around the world, not in your control, but you've got
the port strike. You've got the Middle East and
the possibility of a wider war already.
Iran making new threats today against anyone who helps Israel
and divisions in the Democratic Party over help for Israel
versus concerns for the Palestinians and now for the
Lebanese who are being evacuated from their homes as well.
So all of that, you know, as well as the hurricane and the
after effect and criticism in two key states, especially North
Carolina, that the FEMA response was too slow.
Also in Georgia, states that you've got to win or really need
to try to win. How do you how do you combat all
of this? These are circumstances, some of
which were beyond your control. Well, I think the vice president
doesn't see these issues through the political prism.
I think she sees them through the leadership prism.
That was all I want to see. So let me just monologue for the
entire segment and then I'll toss it to you.
And thank you very much for your time today.
That's the female Sean Hannity right there.
Just the male. Expert, expert Big J journalism
there. Andrea News, Andrea Mitchell,
NBC News, Washington. Yeah, she's not with it anymore
either. I mean, she's been around
forever and you can tell that she's definitely cognitively
declined. I mean, she used to be a very
reliable mouthpiece for the spirit of the age and now just
she's definitely experiencing the effects of geriatric
octogenarian. I don't know, like she's she's
getting in touch with the Biden on her and but.
What is the leadership prism? Steve, you've been through some
leadership sort of experiences. Can you explain the leadership
prism for those of us that have not gone through such formative
training? I could, I mean, it's, it's
pretty significant. We have to be, it really have to
be unburdened by what has been. And then depending on how large
the issue is, you measure a pumpkin.
And as the issue becomes more larger, you grow the pumpkin in
front of you and continue to talk about how you need a
holistic response to that. This is horrible.
I don't want this anymore. Here's the here's what's going
on. There is a war.
So Israel said that they've been hitting Hezbollah Intel units.
Lebanon says they've had 2000 people die.
This is from CBS. You can always rely on the
leftist media to to be very sympathetic to a terrorist
organization and states that house terrorists.
They're going to go after anybody.
Like what's funny is we get people in the chat every once in
a while. Actually, we'll go over and say
hi to our friends in the chat over here.
We get people in the chat and they get really, really mad
because I, I don't want to like call out the Jews.
The Jews. I think there's like 5 O's in
the word Jews. If you don't get mad about the
Jews. I like, I love that Israel's
messing stuff up. Like, I don't want to pay for
it, but I just think like I signed up during a time of war
to serve the country. I was going to go kill
terrorists. That was my goal.
I got a lot of friends who went over and killed terrorists.
I don't know any of them that are crying about this.
I think it's hilarious. And then you see that you've got
what is that woman from the other night, Norah Jones?
Is that her name is Norah Jones a music person, or is that the
lady that I'm looking at? I'm.
Thinking of Bridget Jones? OK, I don't know.
Anyway, Norah is it O'Donnell? Norah O'Donnell, yes.
OK, so Norah Jones is probably like the musician that sings
beautiful songs. In any case, she's like very,
very concerned in her presentation as a news
presenter. She's very upset about the many
people that die. It's like, dude, they they sent
pagers over and then they did two ways and then they dropped
bombs and then a bunch of a holes in Iran decided to send in
ballistic missiles. George Hill and I were talking
the other day. He's like, Israel doesn't have a
lot of options. Either the US gets involved in
it or they're probably going to glass Iran with like a tactical
nuke, which is probably a realistic possibility.
And I think the the most pro Israel argument you could make
is stop all funding of everything because that really
unshackles Israel because they're not looking over their
shoulder like, well, will this anger the United States and
they're going to cut off aid to us.
That's part of their consideration for us.
If they are cut off, then they have to make the decision.
Israel only at that point and they're in an existential fight
for their existence, and then they're going to turn Iran into
glass, which I'm not going to shed a tear about.
No tears. The interesting thing is I went
looking for hurricane relief information on all the did.
You find out how to go online. Got to get on the Internet and
apply the interwebs to me. Check 750 bucks.
So what I found is that nobody is covering it.
None of that. CNN doesn't have it on the main
page. AP doesn't have it on the main
page. CBS like it's flooding things
like and all the social media sites, people are just like
putting out the TikTok videos and all the different folks that
are filming themselves in all these horrific situations,
bridges washed out, roads that are destroyed, farms covered in
mud, like the whole thing. It looks horrific and there's
just no mainstream media coverage because I'm sure it's
really, really awful. Again, it takes us back to they
handled the strike, the war is going to happen either way.
They can't really do anything about it.
Hurricane is really, really a bad idea.
And they've completely ignored the border and the economy,
which we're seeing here is sort of the the small monsters.
So I'm going to, I'm going to cover some of those things too.
I just didn't see any stories. I want to make acknowledgement
of it. And for those of you who are on
social media, you are getting inundated with hurricane
disaster situations. But what you're not going to
find is coverage on the mainstream news.
What you will find is this very serious story.
Unreal. On the streets of a Colorado
city, this is Aurora, Co Pregnant migrants struggle to
survive. This is a woman you're seeing
right there who looks like she's probably like in her late teens
or early 20s. She just had twins who are
obviously birthright American citizens, twins in the city.
But she's homeless because she came here and she had no
flipping plan to survive here. The expectation is, is that
Americans will just take care of people who come.
Like, this is just a place where you can show up and we give you
free shit. I'm, I'm so furious with this
because the politicians are the ones who created this problem
and they are now all in on it. And I got a couple of like
pretty tasty videos. You want to reflect on this for
a second, then I'll play some tasty stuff.
The politics. Your government hates you.
The politicians who are working within government hate you and
they hate your rights and they want to just fundamental
mentally change the way things operate that gives gives them
more power. They create the problems that
they in turn make themselves the solution to.
They have allowed willfully and gleefully 304050 million illegal
aliens to come across the border.
Every time I hear the oh, they're failing at the southern
border. No, they're succeeding.
That's what they want to do, and they want to take money that is
on the backs of you and your kids and your grandkids.
Because it's all borrowed money, printed money and spend it on
people who are not American, who are not bought in on the social
compact that we all have where we agreed to give up some of our
rights in return for a government that did certain
things for us, like keeping the border secure.
And then when an actual emergency happens.
And I'm not, I don't want the government involved in North
Carolina because I see them as the worst option, especially
when you have private citizens that can go there and do things
themselves. But if that money is going to be
spent for them to just spit in your face and say no, you know,
we spent it already facilitating these these illegals to come
across the border and have babies when they are not part of
our country. And you're just going to have to
fend for yourself. In fact, we're actually going to
actively impede you from helping your fellow citizen there.
You can't fly that helicopter up there.
I'm Mayor Pete. Don't you know I ran South Bend
into the ground. You should elect me president
next time because I allegedly like to have sex with men.
Yeah, I'm. Yeah, I like it.
Let me read this. She was eight months.
This is the sympathy piece from the AP.
She was 8 months pregnant when she was forced to leave her
Denver homeless shelter. It was her shelter, Steve.
It was November. Ivana Herrera took her four year
old son Dylan by the hand and let him into the chilly night,
dragging A suitcase containing donated clothes and blankets
she'd taken from the Microtel Inn.
So she stole blankets. That's good to know.
And sweets. It was one of the 10 hotels in
Denver that house more than 30,000 migrants, many of them
from Venezuela, over the last two years.
The thing that I want to focus in on, it wasn't a homeless
shelter. It's a flippin hotel.
That we're paying for. That we're paying.
For the Homeland Security is furnishing millions of dollars
to pay for. Yep, she went there with the
money that she and her husband had collected from begging on
the streets, and they bought a tent at Walmart.
They waited in the dark to construct their new home.
They chose a grassy median along a busy thoroughfare in Aurora.
We wanted to go someplace where there were people.
It feels safer to sleep in the middle of the freaking Rd.
because you just traveled all this way believing you were
going to get free stuff. And they have no business being
here. So it was cold.
And this is awful. Like, it's awful that a young
child is like, wrapped up in the cold.
It's also awful that your parents are so stupid that they
chose to drag you to a country having zero plan and expecting
everyone in the world to take care of them.
This is not the way like in any other society.
In any other time, they would have died.
We're actually going to play some tribute to that because
there's an Oregon Trail tribute I have at the end here.
As we wrap up, I'm going to be pissed for a little bit and then
we're going to have some fun because I just can't handle
being pissed all day. Kamala Harris wants these people
to be citizens, by the way, people who came here with the
worst planning skills, what I used to call in the military,
Bad idea theater. It's like what happens when
you're your dummy buddy who's enlisted, like, comes up and
they're like, yeah, I just bought this car and I can afford
to make the payments, but not gas and not insurance.
And I can't even afford to drive it anywhere.
But like, I can sit in the, the, the base parking lot and, like,
listen to tunes. Like, that's the kind of dumb
ideas that we're talking about here.
She is. She wants these people to be
citizens. They should have all the rights
when they become citizens. Do they have to pay taxes and
lose access to all the free stuff?
Hopefully. No, no, we go.
The rich have to have to pay their fair share and right,
these are only the best people, by the way, coming.
They're such the best people that they were unable to make
their countries great. So they need to come here.
And I can't help but think if they were coming here to be
politicians or lawyers or journalists, that that will all
be up real quick, don't you know?
But we, you know, we need gardeners and nannies to take
care of the babies that elude being murdered when they're
inside the womb. And we live in Nantucket and
Martha's Vineyard. So we need to have them because
we don't, we really think they're going to impact our
lives. So we're happy to do it.
And the question then becomes, and it's never posed this way,
do you think the United States should allow every human being
on earth into our borders? And I think even Kamala Harris
would say, well, no, no, we can't do that.
Well, so then what's the number? We just want to keep the people
that are already here that we've been letting in here.
She is telling us we need a pathway to citizenship, Steve.
So I've got a little kind of fun montage of people agreeing and
disagreeing with themselves. That's my favorite.
And as president, I will work with Congress to create, at long
last, a pathway to citizenship for hard working immigrants who
have been here for years for. Years.
And deserve to have a system that works as your president.
Why do they deserve to have a system that works when they're
not Americans? Listen, Chuck Schumer is all in
as well. Not only does he think that they
need to have a pathway decision, he's arguing that the problem
is, is Americans aren't having babies.
This is the same party that is all in on abortion and wants to
kill all the babies. It turns out they realize that
they actually need citizens and people.
So let's just bring it a bunch of people that don't have our
values. Here's Chuck Schumer, I'm just
going to give you a montage of these.
So just stand by. I'm going to hit you in the face
with them over and over again, Steve.
Now more than ever, we're short of workers.
We have a population that is not reproducing it on its own with
the same level that it used to. The only way we're going to have
a great future in America is if we welcome and embrace
immigrants, the Dreamers and all of them, because our ultimate
goal is to help the Dreamers. But get a path to citizenship
for all 11 million or however many undocumented there are
here, OK, However many million there are, Steve, like.
He doesn't even know. And that's our ultimate goal.
Our ultimate goal is not to have a country that functions.
It's just to get lots of millions of illegal aliens into
the into the country so that, you know, they can garden for us
and and someone has to pick the crops.
But dude, who's going to pick the crops?
I mean, who's going to, like, work the midnight shift in a
pork manufacturing plant? Those are just jobs Americans
won't do. We we need workers.
I was doing the shopping last week at the big box store and I
couldn't help but notice that there was about two dozen people
applying for jobs at that store. So I went out of curiosity and I
figured, what are they applying for?
There was one part time cashier job available and the people
there were my age and older. We are in for some dark times
and people like Chuck Schumer and Kamala Harris is measuring
her pumpkin and it got bigger as she talked about more and more
illegals are not being honest with the American people.
We're about to get smacked in the face the less times are
here. They actually used to know this.
So here's Chuck Schumer not too long ago saying the things that
everyone knew, that illegal aliens actually don't belong in
this country and it's a slap in the face to America.
Pro legal immigration and anti illegal immigration.
Illegal immigration is wrong, plain and simple.
When we use phrases like undocumented workers, we convey
a message to the American people that their government is not
serious about combating illegal immigration, which the American
people overwhelmingly oppose. If you don't think it's illegal,
you're not going to say it. I think it is illegal and wrong
and we have to change it above. Wow, New York elected a
Republican to the Senate. Yeah, no, that was only just a
little while ago. Now he's changed his mind.
Now he's back here, and now we've got him and Nancy Pelosi
saying this. The only way we're going to have
a great future in America is if we welcome and embrace
immigrants, the Dreamers and all of them, 'cause our ultimate
goal is to help the Dreamers but get a path to citizenship for
all 11 million or however many undocumented there are here.
Well, it's something we have to do for people, for you now.
This is before you're a citizen, documented.
This is for the undocumented. Well, what I would like to do is
move them to documented. They said that they moved them
to documented. One of the best things that we
can do for our economy is to pass comprehensive immigration
reform. Clapping Seals and and Chuck
Schumer, who now has more hair than he did back when he was a
Republican, I guess saying that they were illegal aliens.
And Nancy Pelosi with her McDonald's eyebrows that are
unable to express anger or inquisitiveness at any point.
These are the people that are leading because they're so vain
that all they care about is how they look and how much applause
they can get when they just recite these lines that are at
they're absolutely ludicrous. We just we just need to make the
undocumented document. I I agree with her though.
Let's document the undocumented and get them the F out of my
country. Get out of my country.
Get out. Let's let's actually assign that
to FedEx. Let's send them all a FedEx.
They seem really good. Yeah, FedEx would.
Dude, FedEx. Guys, I was listening to Adam
Corolla's piece, and it was actually an older Adam Corolla
show. I like Adam and Doctor Drew.
They just seem like normal people.
I don't even agree with Doctor Drew half the time, but it's
just like, I just want to hear normal people talk.
So I'm sitting on the plane. I'm listening to the two of them
and Adam's like, you ever noticed the difference between
like the USPS and the UPS driver and the FedEx driver?
Like private industry, those guys hustle because they're
incentivized based on the number of packages they can deliver.
So they're hauling, dude, those guys are fit.
They're wearing shorts. Even in the winter, they're
running their butts off, right? They're wearing hoodies and
they're just like handing out swinging packages.
Like, you know, like there's an accountability thing there.
And then you deal with the USPS, which yesterday told me at 9:00
AM that they delivered my package, which they didn't.
And I went to the mailbox and I'm like, oh, and it's a
lockable community mailbox. So it's, it's not in there.
It's very obvious. There's no key.
There's nothing, it's, it's not there.
So I call up UPS, I'm sorry, I call up USPSI call the post
office and they transfer me to the 800 number, which gave me a
robot, which was unable to, you know, listen to the voice
because it's a government robot. And it did that about eight
times. Finally they gave me a
representative that will call me back in 13 minutes, which they
did. And then I got Shamiquala or
something like that. And lest I thought she was not
black, while I'm talking to her, she's working from flipping
home. And I heard the chirp in the
background. I heard her smoke alarm go off
like 11 times. And I'm like, this is freaking
amazing. The government jobs program at
work, we're paying off people that she can't help me, by the
way. She's like, oh, like sometimes
things just don't show up and then they don't.
Was it really valuable? Because then it definitely
didn't show up. Yeah.
So I reached out to the company and then about 3 hours later it
was in my mailbox because the post office driver marked it
delivered before it was delivered.
Delivered in mailbox equals not actually delivered in mailbox
but will be at some point in the future because we just jumped
the gun because we wanted to look like we were delivering it.
Never mind that people actually go to the mailbox when the
freaking tracking says it's supposed to be in the mailbox.
So that was all terrible. That was the.
Experience in Vegas. I mean, look, Vegas is
definitely Sin City, but it's an entire city that is driven by
private industry, right? Like the market demands some
like debauchery. So I'm I'm not down for that.
There needs to be some moral sentiment attached.
But every Rd. is named after the casino that's on it and like it
perfectly manicured. The the greenery is there.
I didn't see a city official or worker doing anything.
It is all private and of course it's Immaculate.
Yeah, because they're paying like you're coming there, you're
dropping your money in, and what do they say?
They don't keep the lights, don't stay on for free.
You're losing money in casinos. If you're a casino person,
you're losing money on average, and those pay for an aesthetic
that you are willing to be a part of.
You're willing to go there, be in this crazy little diamond in
the desert, which I actually despise, but whatever.
And uncomfortable. You're willing to go there and
spend your money and it better look good while you're losing
money. You better feel like you're
having an awesome time. And they do.
It's the same thing that Disney does.
It's the same thing that Epcot did.
It's the same thing that all these places did.
They created an environment based on a perception that
you're having an awesome time and you walk away.
And it's all fueled by private dollars.
There's accountability there. Meanwhile, you go out on my
streets and like nobody is nobody in Austin is actually
mowing like the medians. They're overgrown by multiple
feet. It's not like they were like,
oh, they just, they didn't get to it this week.
They didn't get to it this year so far.
It's, you know, 3 foot tall weeds growing out and you're
going, this used to be a proper city, but instead they're
dumping all their money into these illegal migrants.
I want to pull this article up here, which we this is.
This is how bad the economy is, Steve, for migrant women who
land in Colorado. They just landed in Colorado.
Landed. Yeah, like landed.
They landed on plumbic rock. Plumbic ground landed on them.
No. OK, so they landed in Colorado
looking for jobs. The common answer emerges.
No. This is the best story that I've
seen. E Colfax Ave. was the best place
to find a job. That's what everyone said to
Sofia Rocca, a recent immigrant from Columbia.
Never mind the open drug use, the sex workers, or the groups
of migrant workers that are marching the side sidewalks
soliciting work at the very same Mexican restaurants and
bakeries. It's a place where bosses and
customers would speak Spanish and would be willing to hire
someone like Roca, a 49 year old, no skill immigrant, without
legal authorization to work. In other words, an illegal
alien. The rationale was going to
Colfax every morning. It was fruitless.
Do you know how to cook Mexican food?
Asked one lady. She said because her because her
accent is not Mexican and was a dead giveaway.
I can learn, she replied in Spanish.
We're not hiring, said the woman.
It turns out you don't have the skills we're looking for, which
is simply can you cook Mexican food as record numbers?
Everything that's based on tortillas and cheese if she's
like that. Yeah, You couldn't figure out
how to say yes on that. OK.
As record numbers of they're all burritos, lady, as record
numbers of South Americans attempt to cross the southern
border, we're seeking economic, economic opportunities and
they're landing in communities that are unprepared for them.
That's the fault of the community.
They were not prepared for all these people.
And some of them are downright hostile.
This is the unbiased reporting going on over the API.
Actually have a an interesting video that actually is a visual
illustration of the US economy right now against Americans,
even like people who are from here with legal rights to work,
as you mentioned, the big box stores, everybody competing for
one job. Here's actually a an interesting
sort of video graphic of US, of you versus the economy.
OK, There's like 10 minutes of Master Ken kicking that dude in
the Dick. If you didn't see it, if you're
just listening, you're like, why aren't we hearing a guy
grunting? Every one of those is a is a he.
And then every one of those is like a back fist or a spinning
kick into the nuts of the guy wearing the white.
It's a red and a white karate guy.
Anyway, that that's what we got here.
I. Don't know.
It's pretty accurate. Pretty accurate.
I think that that's the feeling that most people have who are
legitimately looking at the economy or not just bebopping
along, thinking and saying things that we got.
I've had this reflection this week that I, I, I'm sure you
have a similar experience in the last couple years.
You have conversations with so many different people and so
many of them end in the same way where it's, you know, things are
really going to work out. It'll work out for you.
It's fine. And I've become more resentful
of that phrase than people telling you.
It's going to work out. To be fair, Steve, it is going
to work out for you. I'm serious though.
I have, I have a lot of faith that it will I.
Just think it's going to be talking.
About really ugly in this country first.
No, it's going to get, it's going to get really ugly in this
country. We're about to head in.
We're heading into the dumbest, most unreasonable situation
where people on the political right in the commentator sphere
have been basically selling this bullshit opium with 0 evidence.
They're like, they're, I mean, I agree that more people in this
country support Donald Trump. I actually think they do.
I actually think like numerically the number advantage
goes to Donald Trump because people are looking at the, the
four horsemen or the five horsemen of the apocalypse.
We just cancelled 1. So there's still 4 left.
The southern border, the economy, the war, the hurricane
situation, like all of this stuff, like right now in the the
lead up to this, to this election, it should be
devastating to the Harris and and and Biden reputation.
They should be like, dude, you guys suck at everything that
comes at you. You look through the prism of
leadership and you just like ate the leadership prism.
You didn't do anything with it. And then you had a pumpkin.
I think it's irresponsible for our quote UN quote leaders to
spread the hopeium around like good times are just around the
corner. That is immature and and
dangerous. Let's say your bad times are
right around the corner, but it it will be OK if you have faith
in God it it really will be OK one way or another.
That's how people died in POW camps in Vietnam.
They, they, they come out of that being in years in
captivity. They said the guys that came in
were like, no, they're probably going to come get us tomorrow.
It'll be OK. They're probably going to come
get us tomorrow. Those are the guys that lost it
and died. The ones that were there always
like this could be down. We're here for the long haul,
guys. Do not spread the hopium around.
That's right. One day at code support each
other one day at a time. It's the same way you get
through anything that's really awful.
It's one day at a time, it's one meal at a time, it's one hour at
a time. Sometimes it's one second at a
time if you're underwater and you're being drowned, which I
have experienced that and like you, just every second goes at a
time. Still blows my mind.
I'm like he's too smart to have just made himself dumb enough to
do that. And then your your ultimate
conclusion was well I figure some lowest paid government
employee will save me if I drown and went forward.
With it, no, those lowest paid government employees are studs.
Like what are you talking about? I love it.
I would do it again. I would totally go through it
and dock again. That was enjoyable.
All of that stuff is like like I said, I I just keep seeing
stupider and stupor thing happened.
Let me let me break away and do something for my people who are
not stupid Patriot coolers and then we're going to talk about
like the next iteration of I don't think Republicans want to
win. Are you ready?
So first of all, folks, if you want to support the program,
it's brought to you by our friends over at patriot coolers.
They make this. It is brought to you by the
major. Yeah, that's what this thing is.
It's major. It's.
I got to get one for Steve too. He has no job right now, so I
have to send him things. I'm going to send him one of
these 40 ounces of freedom. This one's just filled with
water, comes with a straw, comes with a little thing that you
know, keeps it from spilling. It's got a spill proof lid that
you can flip over and you can drink out if you want.
Mine is red and it's huge and it can be used as a weapon.
My wife's like, why is everything a weapon to you?
Because I'm a man and that's what I think.
It's got 50 stars in the bottom. It's got 13 bars or stripes on
the side. It'll fit into a cup holder and
it'll basically reach out to the on top of your roof full of
liquid, hot or cold, take your pick.
Promo code Kyle. Kyle.
Promo code Kyle will save you 10% over at Patriot Coolers.
You guys should get 2 of them. One for you and one for someone
you love or one for you and one for your suspendable buddy like
Steve friend Patriot coolers.com promo code Kyle.
So you can still rock that. That's the 30.
I want 10 more ounces. For you and I had to upgrade it
with my American radicals. That's a really good sticker.
suspendables.com. Someone needs to send me that
here. You want to throw that on the
screen too? Here, We'll do the suspendables
thing. You can here pitch it.
There it is the dash. suspendables.com.
You guys can get the merch store.
OK, So you can get the sticker packs from Garrett.
Let's let's do that. I, I, I, I can't believe that
this came out. This is an unforced error 100%.
But I do have some fun with it because everything today is
going to lead back to humor for me because I refuse to be angry
for too long. Melania Trump has revealed her
pro abortion rights stance in a new memoir.
What in have you seen this? By the way, have you seen the
video? Yes.
I have folks. If you haven't seen the video,
let me just prep it up, let me throw it on here and then we'll
comment on it and then I'll get the real definitive answer on it
because I go back to my favorite Bostonian comic in just one
second. First, here's Melania talking
about it. I realized I don't ever want to
hear her talking. Individual freedom is a
fundamental principle that I safeguard without a doubt.
There is no room for compromise when it comes to this essential
right. That all women possess from
birth individual freedom what does my body my?
Choice really mean? What does my body, my choice
really mean? It means killing babies.
Lady. She's supposed to be Catholic.
Wrote an entire book and you picked that to go with your
advertisement where you sound like you're talking AI and half
your faces in the shadow. Put your entire face in the
shadow. OK, so here's here's the
definitive take on not just Melania, all of them coming from
my favorite bill. Each presidency, like these
first ladies, they've just gotten more and more like, like,
like chatty, you know, more and more chiming in, like leaning
into the frame, spitting out their ideas.
It's just like, what? Why are you talking?
Right? You weren't elected.
Shut up. Your husband's not running a
lemonade stand here. He's running the country.
You don't just chime in. Let me guess.
Is this considered sexist? It is.
Why? Well, OK, you just nodded there,
lady. Let me ask you this.
All right, Let's say you had a leak in your house.
OK? You call a plumber up, he shows
up, and he goes. Yeah, I think the leak's coming
from the upstairs bathroom. We need to shut it off above.
But then all of a sudden, his wife walks in, who isn't a
plumber, and then go there. You know, I'm actually taking
care of it. Wouldn't you be like, with all
due respect, shut the fuck up. I need a plumber in this moment.
I'll extend an olive branch here, All right?
At some point, there's going to be the first female president,
right? Exactly.
Which means at that moment, you're going to have the first
male first lady, right? And when that happens, that dude
needs to shut his trap. I don't want to hear a word out
of him. I want to hear from the
president. You, Sir, go do some first lady
stuff. All right?
Go get yourself some gloves that go up to your elbows.
Smile and nod during speeches. Go put your own flair.
Redecorate in the White House. That's it.
That's all I want you to do, like make a nice Christmas tree
and STFUI don't care what the spouse politicians have said.
Any politician spouse, I just don't care.
Go away. I like.
The Melania later iterations of that bit that he does where the
the women always cheer when he says one day we're going to have
a woman president. He's like, you don't even know
her policy yet. Why you clap it?
Why you? Don't clap it.
Her policy is like, let everybody in and like, you know,
let the rapist and the murderers come in and take jobs from your
kids and destroy the economy. It's full crazy that's where
we're at right now. But she's got a front hole, so
that's probably going to be good for the country.
I need you to stop saying that expression.
I want you to not say that expression because it makes me
really grossed out. I've got news of the weird and
the wide and and just like the wide world.
This is another Kamala slash Biden thing.
Most people will not hear the story, so you probably only hear
it here because we get obsessed about FBI stuff.
Check this one out, Steve. Feds, FBI.
You've seen this already. Charge 5 Chinese nationals with
covering up their visit to a military site.
Do you know the story here? Saw the headline and I had put
it to the side. I was going to read it but it's
breaking to me. I got it summer of 2023.
That doesn't seem like it just happened.
Sergeant Major with the Utah National Guard confronted 5
individuals near a lake just after midnight, according to the
FBI. One of them claimed we are media
before gathering the belongings and agreeing to leave the area.
The FBI discovered the group had reserved a room at a nearby
motel a week prior to being seen outside of Camp Grayling, which
is 200 miles north of Detroit. Four months later, border
officers at the Detroit airport interviewed one of the men
before he traveled to South Korea and China.
He told investigators that he and others had visited the
northern Michigan site to see shooting stars.
That's what the media does. The inspection of his external
hard drive just uncovered 2 photographs of military vehicles
taken during the same night that he was confronted by the
National Guard officer, per the FBI.
It was apparently reported that the other men were interviewed
in March after landing in Chicago from Iceland.
They admitted to being in northern Michigan in August of
2023, claimed the trip was to watch a meteor shower.
They got their story together. At that point they referenced
the National Guard officer. They described him only as the
soldier and a camper or a nice guy.
According to criminal complaint, all five men graduated from the
University of Michigan last spring.
They were enrolled in a joint program with the University of
Michigan and Qinghai Chao Tong University in Chinese.
So the best part is they've been indicted, but they graduated and
they are not in the United States anymore.
We have indicted yet another group of people that will never
come back to the US for, you know, espionage ish type stuff.
This is the national security cosplay.
We don't really see law enforcement cosplay, but I think
we do expand that definition out.
National security cosplay. They're doing it in spades now,
particularly because it is the election season.
They had to get it in September because of the early voting.
Plus it was the end of the fiscal year.
And they really need to boost those numbers.
So let's indict some Russians in Russia for going on Russian TV
and saying things in Russian. Well, let's indict some Iranians
in Iran for doing Iranian things.
Or let's go after Chinese after they've already left.
They're comfortable here. I mean, we let them operate in
New York City for like a year and a half before they took any
action there. So we let them go take their
pictures. Maybe next time they'll just fly
a balloon over the country. You never know.
And then we'll indict them and we'll go.
Shoot the balloon after it leaves the country, right?
Can we shoot it? That we first wait for it to
traverse the entire continent and then.
We send a female F35 pilot to go get her first air to air combat
against an unarmed balloon of all things.
She's going to be the next flying ace.
Let me throw this at you because you probably didn't know this.
I have gotten and read whistleblower complaints from
agents that work for the FBI against the Chinese threat and
they have said it in let's just say a region near enough to me.
Let's we'll just just place this a little bit a region near
enough to me. They had prosecutable
counterintelligence cases against the Chinese, had the
United States attorney's office locally willing to go and
prosecute and got shut down by main justice who said that the
Biden Harris administration's priorities are not going after
the Chinese threats in this country for prosecution.
And that's why they allowed these spies to get out.
That's how these things work. We have a a concerted effort
looking through the prism of leadership or the pumpkin of
leadership is more accurate. The pumpkin of leadership equals
let the Chinese do whatever the hell they want in this country.
And that should blow your minds, people.
Before even the the Harris Biden, we're going to let China
off the hook entirely. You just have to look through
the bureaucratic way that the FBI does counterintelligence
from what I understand, like we will let secrets and information
that is in the millions of dollars walk so that we can then
lead to a successful counterintelligence case that
results in what, a a PNG where the person we say hey snuck that
off and get out of our country. Several got them later.
Yeah, we got, but we got our stats.
So it cost the American people millions of dollars of
technology they'll never be able to replace.
And the upside is, is that some FBI agent got to get the case of
a lifetime and then they get to brief it for the rest of their
career, which is my absolute favorite.
That's one. I've got one more sort of like
ridiculous. Like in the world of ridiculous
FBI, let me ask you before I go to it, what is the average
amount of investigative experience that senior FBI
executives have based on your time of looking into them?
Five to six years. OK, Yeah, I I concur.
So generally speaking, folks, what they do is in order to be a
top FBI executive, if you want to be an assistant director or
an executive assistant director, the goal is the minimum amount
of time actually doing the job, five to six years.
Sometimes people do it in three. By the way, there was a program
for a while that at three years you could apply to headquarters.
Then you want to get to headquarters as fast as possible
and never work a case again. That's the goal, yes.
And the people with upper echelon started back when they
had the mandatory transfer to a big office before three years
were up. So they spent three years in one
office, three years in another, which means they had no subject
matter expertise. None and then the best is then
they go on MSNBC and they look like a lizard person.
Here is a new book which I actually covered when it came
out, but apparently Fox News is running cover for this too,
which I do not understand. Fox News has decided that they
are going to do sensationalism in the face of the debate, not
cover the things that are happening in North Carolina.
They're going to cover Frank the Lot Lizard Figluzzi, also known
as the 88 guy because he wrote a book about serial killers hiding
as long haul truck truck workers or truckers that terrorize
America's highways. Based on 0 experience other than
him I guess giving BJ's at like overnight overnight truck stops
because apparently he rode thousands of miles with truckers
and I got to imagine he wasn't paying for it without using his
mouth. He's got that kind of like
botoxy face. This is the weirdest person I've
ever seen in the public. Another person that didn't do
the job that I have more investigative experience than
you definitely have more investigative experience.
But apparently a guy who never worked on serial killer cases
wrote a book about serial killers with the with the caveat
that he was an FBI agent at one point in time.
He was the assistant director of counterintelligence.
He was the guy that should be going after this Chinese threat
and let that happen. Instead he's writing books about
like, women getting killed off by dudes as lot lizards.
And apparently he experienced a lot lizard experience.
He rode with truckers when he got jumped into the the side of
the truck. Here.
Listen, ask Castor Grass. Isn't that the way it works?
You got to pay for it one way or another.
Can we can we get Nicole FBI Barbie Parker to give her
thoughts on Frankie Fig since Fox News feels compelled to hype
this story up because, I mean, she has lots of investigative
experience being a program coordinator from the Miami
Division for Crimes on the High seas, going after those, those
pirates, I guess that are really like, I don't know, Johnny Depp
is, is stealing some golden legumes.
Like, I don't know, I just, I wanted to go pirate.
My kid doesn't have a pirate costume, but maybe he's.
We have the most unserious people in our media, in our
government and they, it's, it's on purpose.
I mean, you, you, they put this and look, we're, we're sort of,
are we a victim of it or we're just like, sort of like a
bystander of it. If I go on media, you go on
media, they will ask you questions which you don't don't
have any knowledge about. They're like, well, it involves.
As a former FBI agent, what do you think should happen with the
DEA task force that's working out of the Canadian embassy?
And I'm like, I don't know. I don't like the federal
government, so all federal government agencies.
Should shut down. You would come on and talk about
cyber crimes, like whatever works, cyber crimes.
Could you please talk about something that you don't have
expertise in? I think they're so used to these
idiots like Frankie Figs stepping out and going like
look, work for the FBI basically.
I know all the things like there are things I know about.
There's things that I don't, I don't know about.
There's things that that. That's why we are not senior
executive material, because we can't walk into a room and just
say like, I'll just say no to a bad idea and I probably know
everything. OK, so here's the thing.
I'm I'm done with the the anger. We're going to just have fun one
for the rest of the thing. OK, Are we good?
Are we good? I just ordered up a bunch of
mad. Holes.
Yeah, let me. No, no.
No, it's going to get much more fun.
I I'm going to break over to our sponsor Mad Hat Jerky because I
just ordered a ton of it for my kiddo.
He's got his own bags coming in. Folks, if you want to get your
own Mad Hat Jerky, it is probably my favorite snack in
the house. It's also the only protein that
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I asked my son the other day, I said, son, are you touched?
And he said, yeah, Dad, I'm touched, but he doesn't know
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Every once in awhile I just jump in and I could do my thing and I
order a bunch of bags of it. So we're going to go and we're
going to break this down. Things are expensive.
Mad Hat Jerky is not cheap either.
It's good. It's good food.
It's like USDA Prime meat. So that's why probably it's more
expensive. But I have kind of like a a
Family Guy take on the thing that you and I hate the most,
tipping for meals that we serve ourselves while we are standing
to order. I think that's the rule.
I saw somebody say if I'm standing, you don't get a tip
when I'm ordering. What do you think about that
policy that's that's quick and that that's really, it's super
easy to decide? If I'm standing on my own 2
feet, there is no tip involved. But this is, I guess this is a
guy who lives in Austin who said things are really expensive in
Austin and they're expensive everywhere when you try to go
order, including when you're standing on your own 2 feet.
Here's family guy's take off. That'll be 16 dollars, $16.00.
That's expensive. Yes, Sir.
Everything's very expensive because you're paying for it on
an iPad. Now, if you'll just select a
gratuity options are 60 percent, 90% and 200%, I guess 60%.
OK, great. And just sign by dragging your
bare finger across this thing. I used to masturbate.
OK, thank you. Please make sure to bang your
head on that low hanging thing. What are you?
I hope you spelled something. You want a napkin?
Yes, please. All right, here's 40 blown by
the wind. I feel like that's the
experience of every dad trying to feed their kid in a place
where they didn't want to be in the 1st place, am I wrong?
This is what Matt Walsh has proposed, and I think it's an
excellent idea, He said he wants to have a a family restaurant
that's called Just Spaghetti, and you just bring the family in
there and the only thing on the menu is just plain spaghetti and
it'll be like the IT was like they.
Already have that. I mean like floor is dirty.
Completely appropriate. It's fine.
Yeah, that's just like your kitchen, except somebody else is
going to do the dishes. They actually have that in my in
my dad's town. There's a a big billboard and
it's called spaghetti by the bucket and you literally just go
in and you get a flippin bucket, a plastic.
I've never had it like this. Is the most American thing I've
ever heard, and it's plastic. Bucket like by the by volume,
you're like, how much spaghetti do you want?
You're like, I'm going to need a 2 gallon today and you're going
to roll out with two one gallon buckets of Boschetti, the
Boschetti for your kids and and then you can just eat it like
and not love each other at the end of it all.
I don't know, like, so maybe that's OK.
So that segues into my I just have nothing but fun at We got
10 more minutes of fun. Steve.
OK, some people are in a situation where they're not
married either, through no fault of their own.
Maybe they've never met the right person.
Maybe their marriage didn't work out.
I'm sad for that. But I just look out into the
world and I'm so thankful that I am because it looks crazy out
there. And maybe it always was crazy.
Maybe I just don't remember it always being crazy, but it looks
crazy. So those of you who are single,
don't be this lady. This is a she's going to get
spaghetti by the bucket, by the way, at the end of it.
I think that's what her her only option is.
This is a little segment that I put as dating sounds rough.
For those of you going into the weekend, just, you know, be
careful. It's a weird world out there.
What is it? You got me chocolate.
Yup, your favorite? I love chocolate.
I know all girls love chocolate. Wait, how do you know all girls
love chocolate? It's just a thing.
Have you bought another girl's chocolate?
It's not when I was. Insinuating I said I bought.
Have you bought another? Girl, no, that's not what I was
trying to say. When I have you bought Yes, Yes,
I probably buy another girl's chocolate, what I've dated in
the past. OK, I don't want anything that
you've bought for another woman, Gus.
I've gone on dates where I've bought lots of food and shit.
OK. Don't buy.
Me. OK, cool.
So there's no tacos, no pasta, no wings, no pizza, no Mexican
food, no fucking nothing, Ray, No nothing then no boba, no
nothing. Exactly, Pretty sure I bought
someone fucking coffee before. You're a little dramatic.
That was a little dramatic. You'll buy missing.
Nobody will buy you. I wouldn't buy if you buy
further. Stop stop.
Don't go with a smoothie. I bought that before for someone
too. Let's go.
It's so. It's so true too.
It's so true. I remember what?
Was my wife telling me very early in her relationship, she
says, you know, I don't forgive you for having dated anyone else
before me. And I looked at her and was
like, you're joking, right? She's like a little.
Yeah, so I asked my wife. I was, I played that for this
morning. We were both cracking up at the
and she was, you know, having breakfast with the kids and I
was she goes, I was like that. That came from a real
conversation that one of the two of those people had.
And she goes, I think a lot of women have that conversation.
I was like out loud. And she goes, no, but a lot of
women have it in their head. And I think she's correct
because my wife is is she's pretty sharp.
Have you had the I'm angry at you because I had a dream that
she did something bad to me. Actually, whenever so I had this
thing, it was a comedian and he was really mad about people
telling dreams. And so I've always remembered
this. It came from a stand up.
But sometimes I get really good stuff from stand up.
Like I don't care what first ladies have to say, Bill Burr
wins. I also whenever somebody is
about to tell me about their dream, except my children.
I allow my children because they don't understand reality.
But when somebody who's a grown up comes and wants to tell me
about their dream, I parent, they go, OK, can I tell you
about this dream I had, including my wife?
I do this. I said I'm like, oh, you're
about to tell me something that happened only in your head.
It didn't happen in reality. Yeah, go ahead.
Tell me about something that never happened, please.
I want to know about it. And then I see final
information. Yeah, I'm like, OK, And that was
just a fantasy. But yeah, my wife has woken up
in a bad mood before, like every woman has.
I don't. I've never done that, by the
way. I've never woke up in a bad mood
and actually angry at something like that happened in my head.
That's not it didn't happen for but all women do.
I think if if there's ever the time in the morning that she's
she's seems to be like something's off and I don't know
why I just lead. I was like, hey, look, I
disavowed Dream Steve, just straight up.
Yeah, whatever he said. I didn't say it.
Whatever he did, that wouldn't be the way I actually operate.
And the evidence is overwhelming based on your entire life
experience when you're awake. The end.
But then we wouldn't have great stick figure conversations about
you can't buy me chocolate because at another point another
woman ate chocolate. Don't ever buy a woman chocolate
twice. Never admit.
So my wife and I had a really kind of a good moment, one of
the straights. So here's a relationship thing
for people, the discussion that we had early on in our
relationship. And I said I don't want to have
one of those things about like high romance that also has like
the, the peak, like the peak of like euphoria and the low of
like, I want to kill myself because I think a lot of
relationships are like, they're really, really emotional and
volatile. And I don't want that.
So I just said, I, I just want to live my life with someone who
overwhelmingly makes the average experience better.
I want to just raise the level of my human experience.
And I have. And so it's like, OK, that,
that's the best case scenario. And I had this guy who is still
married and he has like one of those kind of he's got a cool
wife too. He he told me a thing.
He said all marriage is based on compromise.
Would you agree with that? Yes, you only agree with one
person on earth 100% of the time.
That's yourself. And you can't marry yourself.
OK, so all marriage is based on compromise, he said.
Compromise is the state of giving up a little bit of what
you want so that the other person could be happy.
So all successful marriages are based on constantly being just a
little bit disappointed. That has not been my experience.
I'm also like but I did think that's funny.
That's like, so it's like if I can take your interpretation,
you want to make the average experience slightly better, you
could, I hear your buddy probably says can you make my
life suck slightly less? Slightly less, Yeah, he's a he's
a glass like half empty kind of thing.
OK, you said you disavow what Dream Steve did.
I I want to talk about real Steve and that's your handle.
So folks, if you're not following Steve on all the
social medias, please do that at real Steve friend.
If you're on true social, I don't know why you're there, but
at real under score Steve friend, you guys are going to
like Steve a lot more. He used to go by Ranger Rick.
And this is actually, I actually found dash Cam footage from your
last traffic stop, which you probably didn't know I was able
to find, but I have it right here.
Are you ready? Oh no, people.
Are going to get a real taste of the real Steve friend here.
Sir, have you been drinking? Yes, I have.
I've had five or six small batch bourbons.
That's a lot. I'm going to have to ask you to
take a breathalyzer test. Got a runner?
Stop running. Try to.
Get to me. Major Rick, stop.
Oh, OK. Oh, yeah.
Look what I'm doing.
I handled this perfectly.
This car is so powerful. Oh, yeah.
Oh, wait. This is not my car.
It's not my car. I will have a gun in my car,
Yeah. Come over.
Hey, Blake, Cool. Blake, cool.
He's not going to notice. Control my brain.
I got to control my brain. Oh, no, he's slow.
Officer, are you in need of assistance?
I'm back up. The vehicle.
I'm back up I. Stopped the vehicle.
Now I. See you stop.
I see you get out of the vehicle.
Hey, here's the good news. I came back.
Let's just talk about this. You got him though.
Good job, Steve. That's the difference between
the young bull and the old bull. The young bull would have gone
chase and the old bull just sits there and waits for the bad guy
to come with the catcher Smith waiting on it.
It's strong, it's strong, it's the right thing to do.
I don't know why I found that so funny, but I just like the idea
that he turned around and came back.
If you steal a cop car, people just keep going until you're in
Mexico. Set it on fire.
Set it on fire somewhere. Yeah, just make sure there's no
evidence. Just just be gone.
Yeah, that was Ricky Bobby. People are like, I think that's
Ricky Bobby. It ain't first your last.
If you ain't first, your last. OK, I got another little fun
thing. We have some of the coolest
listeners and including subscribers over on Locals,
which as I mentioned earlier, you guys can go to
kylesyrup.com. You can be part of the Locals
community. I said something the other day
which made my wife uncomfortable.
We're on the kind of the topic of this.
I used the word learned which is properly pronounced learned
because English is a dumb language and has all kinds of
stupid rules. Which is like my wife
complaining about. Yes.
Why is? Yeah.
Can you do a, can you do a Steve's wife impression?
Can you? I can, but I'd have to sound
like Yoda and Dracula at the same time.
OK, don't do that. I don't want to.
I don't want to get you in trouble also 'cause she may hear
this. So I said the word learned,
which made my wife question whether or not she has been
mispronouncing the word learned over and over again.
But the problem is I'm a product of my environment and the way
that I was raised. And I was raised watching TV,
remembering absolutely everything, including Homer
Simpson improperly pronouncing the word and me finding that
hilarious. So because it means that you are
learn learned you've you've, you know, had all these different
experiences. Then he does it in a dumb way.
Renzo Rants, who was on our Our Calling program last night, fix
this. I'm going to play it.
I promised him I would for anyone who doesn't know, when I
say learned, it's a joke. I'm not I'm not retarded, even
though I do have the button here.
Hold on. I think I you went full retard,
man. Never go full retard.
I never go full retard. I promise you.
I take my own advice. OK, so here's a taste of this.
I'm going to have to pull up the window.
I couldn't RIP the video. I was very disappointed here so.
I feel like this didn't go. Steve, could you hear it?
I hear it. This is terrible.
It's it's running but it doesn't work I'm pretty sure.
Would you like me to try to do a vampire Beats Yoda?
No, I'm disappointed. People are like, there's no
sound. I'm like, I know there's no
sound. I can see that the sounds not
coming out even though it's set up anyway.
Right, technical. Complications.
Yes, yes, technical complications.
Folks, if you want to see it, you have to now go and see the
Renzo rants video. I'm very disappointed he managed
to perfectly splice in that. It's pronounced learned, which
is what Homer Simpson says to a kid who is, he goes to, my
memory serves, he goes to the Big Brothers and sisters thing,
whatever it's called like, and he adopts a kid even though he
has a kid because Bart doesn't love him anymore.
So he like gets another kid and then he he's like some poor kid
and then he's like, you're so learned, Uncle Homer.
And he's like, it's pronounced learned.
So I'll always remember that and I can't.
I always call the Jim the guy. I'm because of Homer Simpson.
The guy. Yeah.
Some of these things just stay with you forever, all right?
I did. We bagged on women a little bit
today, particularly the first ladies and Kamala Harris and
women who are crazy on dates. I also have a tribute because
the best people in the world are moms who are raising children
and doing so with a sense of humor.
And so I have a tribute to moms. This is the kind of mom this is
a little taste of probably like the way that I'm also a parent.
So I think you can appreciate this.
This lady's got it down the best.
If you if you're missing the video version of this, she's
trying to get her kids at the beginning to open up a manhole
cover and you'll hear why. I'm kind of hungry.
Can you ask the Ninja Turtles if they have any extra pizza after
you guys fight? You have to go.
Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained?
Are you? Not entertained.
No more berries. Are you too many berries?
They send you to Berry rehab and they make you listen to Berry
White on my P here. I've heard people.
They're on their way. No, no, no.
What do you do? Do you know what's down there?
I'll show you the documentary about it later.
Get away from that the energy I need from you, because what
you're giving me right now is weak.
Hey, I'm making a video about how funny I am.
Can you ask me what are we going to do today, Mom?
I was going to do the day, Mom. The same thing we do every day.
Try to take over the world. They don't appreciate me.
Do you know when I was in elementary school, I would guide
a bunch of families in a covered wagon across the olden trail
just for everybody. I get Scarlet Beaver and die.
Do you know how tiring that is on my soul?
You're not tired. Pick up your toys.
Did you know when you lose a tooth, you're supposed to stick
it under your pillow and Dwayne the Rock Johnson will give you
money for it? Give me a freaking high 5.
That's what I'm saying. Now, after you guys fight,
that's what I want to hear. All right?
That's going to give mommy the the energy to deal with it all
day all. Day all day, man.
Child of the 90s a 100%. She's dealing it.
I feel that way too, all the time.
I talk to my kids just like that and I say things that they don't
understand and I make them say things.
When I was going through combat dive school with the Air Force,
we would before every single dive training OP, we would play
the song Holy Diver from Ronnie James DO really loud, which is
like a like it's a metal song. And whenever I take my 3 year
old and I get ready to throw him up in the air and make him go
underwater, I just, I'll throw him as hard as I can up in the
air. I'm like Bodhi yell holy diver
and he'll be like holy diver and I just throw him up in the air
and then he like splashes in and people look at him like what is
this guy doing? Sometimes I'll play the song on
like a Bluetooth speaker and then I throw him up in the air
into the water. He has no idea what he's saying
but it's my favorite. Makes me happy.
Well, you'll appreciate that I'm in a delicate situation because
I have children that have no idea what I'm referencing.
Plus my wife has no idea what I'm referencing.
That's. Hard.
Yeah, that's hard because your comedy, the audience is
basically like anybody that's around you.
My youngest son has this little music box thing that he got
frustrated with and he banged it after he was playing music.
He wanted it off and he just hit it.
And it's not a thing that you hit to turn off like, but it
worked. And I looked at him and I
deadpan asked, are you the Fonz? And then I realized nobody else
in my house appreciates. That no, your wife has no idea.
She doesn't have the cultural references.
At least I have that advantage. My wife does get my humor, she
just knows there's something wrong with me.
I went down around the breakfast table this morning, 3 year old,
5 year old, 7 year old and made them all yell are you not
entertained? And the seven-year old by far
was the best by a lot. So it it's an age thing.
Those kids were probably what, like probably 3 or 4 years old.
I like that you said after they fight, they're supposed to yell
that, which is true. Like if you can get your boys to
do that after a fight if they can like you'll be less mad
right away for. Sure, Yeah.
I mean, you put put actually probably get that aggression out
and then, you know, you only have to punish the one.
The other one was vanquished enough, probably beheaded.
He's through a Trident. Yeah.
It'll be like the end of Anchorman.
That's all I got, Steve. That's all I got for today.
A tribute to moms A a failure at playing the learned thing.
I'll RIP it somehow and I'll get a screen grab of it and we'll
put it over on social media so you guys can find that if you
want to see it. If you're not on the local
channel, but you ought to be, why don't you tell people what
you got coming up for Amrit? I heard you did an awesome
interview, by the way. I don't know where, but the chat
was really, really excited. They were all a Twitter about
your interview. You want to talk about any of
that? Well, I don't know who I
interviewed, but I did a a monologue on Thursday where I
just like went off about all the FBI stuff.
I tried to memorialize everything because I get asked a
lot about it and I said, look, I'm just going to make one
episode of Amrat, all of that. So we did that.
We were going to interview Marcus Allen for Saturday, but
he had some technical problems. So I guess Garrett and I are
going to actually change it up and we're going to do a whole
coverage on some immigration illegal aliens on Saturday.
I'm excited to bring that to you on rumblerumble.com/amradpod is
where you can find us. It'll be at noon time and if you
want to catch up in there later, you can always find it.
We keep the the nice collection of them there and the audio is
always available on iTunes. Love it.
I also, I just sent Marcus a microphone, a nice one like you
have and A and a microphone arm and we're working on getting him
like an actual set up so people can hear him.
So we'll get Marcus Helen on too.
We got to get the suspendable stable, we got to get a few
more, few more thoroughbreds in there.
Yeah, I don't know what that means.
I'm not a horse guy. I never had that kind of.
I never had horse money. Who was?
There's some, there's some comedian who said, I want to
have the kind of money where I have a horse Butler.
Oh, I, it was, it was a no, it wasn't a comedian.
It was a professor that I had. He said, maybe you, you have
like real money. Like you have a horse Butler.
And everyone in the class was kind of like, what's a horse
Butler? I, I said that because I think I
was older than anybody else there.
And he was like, it's a Butler that opens the door for you, but
rides on a horse to do it. And I was like, yo, that's a
real like a, that's like P Diddy kind of like weird money.
That's like some two guys that carry you around and on a sofa
kind of money. So yeah, maybe if we all get to
the area where we have horse butlers.
I never had any thoroughbreds. I don't even know what that is,
Bud. I think it's a it's a good
thing. It's a good thing and marijuana.
So I force multiplier. It's a force multiplier.
I want more thoroughbreds. All right, thanks for joining me
for today, folks. Thanks for joining us for
cutting up. We had to, we had to laugh a
little bit today because otherwise we would just be in
tears because there's four more monsters that are still coming
for us. No doubt about it.
Steve, I'll see you again next week.
I'll probably talk to you over the weekend.
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for being part of our program.
Thanks for supporting all of our sponsors.
They are in the show descriptions.
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if you're looking for a great cooler, if you're looking for
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code on that website too, if you guys are using it.
And until then, hope you guys have a wonderful weekend.
I really do. I hope that you guys have a
little bit of fun. I hope you get off the social
media. I hope you get away from the
politics. Whatever will be will be where
there's not a lot we can do. Make sure you're planning on
voting, but at the end of it, make sure you're mostly planning
on praying. That's what I'm doing.
And also have fun with your neighbors.
We'll talk to you guys soon. Have a great one.
God bless you. See you on Monday.
Thanks for listening to the Kyle Seraphin show, streamed live
weekdays on rumble.com/kyle Seraphin.
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Seraphin.