1 00:00:01,640 --> 00:00:06,320 Well, hey guys, hello, welcome. Welcome to renewed my Bible 2 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:10,440 studies. Hey, I figure I'll just kind of 3 00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:14,840 open with a with a fun story. My mom's not here so I can share 4 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:18,640 it. Several years ago when I was the 5 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:23,000 youth pastor, my pastor had this great idea that we were going to 6 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,080 read the entire Bible over Havelock. 7 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:28,600 It was a great idea. Some of y'all remember that. 8 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:31,280 So people would sign up and they'd they'd sign up for like a 9 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:34,680 30 minute or a one hour block and we would start in Genesis, 10 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:38,240 just read all the way through. And at this point, my, my little 11 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:40,640 sisters, they're teenagers. So they come with my mom where 12 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,920 she signed up and she ended up in Song of Songs. 13 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:49,640 And so in the foyer with the door open and the speaker, she's 14 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:54,920 reading Song of Songs over the speaker with two teenage girls, 15 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,720 you know, just laughing. She pushed through. 16 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:02,160 But hopefully, if you were part of it last week, then you can 17 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,360 already see there's more to it than just, you know, some of the 18 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:06,680 surface stuff that you think of when you think of Song of Songs. 19 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,680 Last week was all about love that awakens. 20 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,680 And so we say love that awakens. But let me just make this clear. 21 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:15,880 I'll probably say this in some form every week. 22 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:19,360 While primarily it is talking about romantic love, you need to 23 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:21,920 know that romantic love, husband and wife, it's the most sacred 24 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:25,840 of all human relationships. But this applies pretty well to 25 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:29,440 all human relationships. Even with a friendship, there's 26 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:32,560 something about them that draws you to them or makes you decide 27 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:33,880 I want to spend more time with them. 28 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:35,240 There's things that draw you to them. 29 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:37,520 That's when it awakens. How do you keep it? 30 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:39,480 You have to pursue it. And that's pretty much what 31 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:43,320 we're talking about tonight. So one of the easiest 32 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:46,120 assumptions most people make is the belief that love of any 33 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:48,320 sort, once you find it, is something that will simply 34 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:51,480 continue on its own. I think sometimes, even though 35 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,360 we wouldn't say it out loud, we assume that closeness will 36 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,600 sustain itself, that we have a good foundation. 37 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,880 And because we have a good foundation, nothing will ever 38 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:01,360 change. And the reality could not be 39 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:04,920 further from that. Song of Songs refuses to let us 40 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:07,120 treat love as something that is taken for granted. 41 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,120 So all throughout this next section, you're going to see 42 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:13,720 this common theme of movement. Love always moves. 43 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:17,240 Someone comes near, someone calls out, someone responds, 44 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:19,360 someone searching. They're all on the move through 45 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:22,080 what we're reading tonight. And like I was saying, that 46 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,880 whole idea stretches beyond romantic relationships too. 47 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:28,000 Friendships require pursuit. Have you ever been in A1 sided 48 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,720 friendship? It's uncomfortable unless you're 49 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,040 on that side of the friendship and then it's uncomfortable for 50 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:37,240 them. Family requires pursuit, 51 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,200 especially as you get older. Dynamics change and even our 52 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,560 relationship with God includes pursuit. 53 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:45,520 And that's not because God is hiding from us, but because all 54 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:48,280 healthy relationships are built through intentional acts of 55 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:51,440 growing closer. Just because I like to read 56 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:53,600 something that connects to these Bible studies from the New 57 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:57,560 Testament from John chapter 15, here is a very well known 58 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,960 scripture that Jesus shared. He said I am the true Grapevine 59 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,480 and my father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine 60 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:06,840 that doesn't produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do 61 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:09,600 bear fruit so that they will produce even more. 62 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:13,920 You have already been prude and purified by the message I have 63 00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:17,120 given you. Remain in me and I will remain 64 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:18,600 in you. That sounds pretty close, 65 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:21,600 doesn't it? For a branch cannot produce 66 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:26,640 fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful 67 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:30,200 unless you remain in me, even with your relationship with the 68 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,920 Lord. It's not a fruitful relationship 69 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:36,200 if you're not pursuing him, if you're not staying close to him. 70 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:39,880 And so Jesus teaches that fruit grows through remaining, and 71 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,200 connection always grows deeper through staying. 72 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,840 And any kind of love you have with somebody always becomes 73 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,880 strengthened through intentional pursuit. 74 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:50,360 So as we begin this session, we're going to be learning that 75 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:53,880 love is not just worth desiring, but it's also worth pursuing. 76 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:56,520 And real good relationships, they just take work. 77 00:03:56,520 --> 00:04:00,080 There's no way around it, so let's go ahead and jump into it. 78 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,520 Starting in verse 8, we're going to talk about all the things 79 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:04,480 we're going to learn tonight. The first one is to learn to 80 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:09,840 move toward love. Well, now I get to see what it 81 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:15,960 was like for my mom. She says I hear my lover coming. 82 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,680 He's leaping over the mountains, bounding over the hills. 83 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:23,040 She says my lover's like a swift gazelle or a young stag. 84 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,400 Look here he is behind the wall looking through the window, 85 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:29,360 peering into the room. And she says in verse 10, my 86 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,560 lover said to me, rise up my darling, coming away. 87 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:35,160 Come away with me my fair one. Look, the winter has passed and 88 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:37,800 the rains are over and gone and the flowers are springing up. 89 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:41,680 The season of singing birds has come and the cooing of 90 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:45,360 turtledoves fills the air. The fig trees are forming young 91 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,640 fruit and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming. 92 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,760 Rise up my darling, come away with me, my fair one. 93 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:56,080 Now, we will cover this in one of these sessions, but there is 94 00:04:56,080 --> 00:05:01,040 a lot of very intimate metaphors that are used all throughout 95 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:03,880 Song of Songs. But just because we know that, I 96 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,120 need you to know that not everything is a metaphor. 97 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:08,680 I kind of got you all a little on that last week when I said 98 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:11,040 you know what that means? It just means a flock of goats. 99 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:15,240 But but when you look at this, there is a deeper meaning here 100 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:18,040 that is not all of a sexual or sensual nature. 101 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,800 So as I'm sure you can tell, the energy of the relationship has 102 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,080 changed here. Where we left off last time, 103 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,960 they were resting in calmness under the banner of love. 104 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,120 As a matter of fact, the last thing we talked about, she said 105 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,080 she was resting under her lover's arm. 106 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:34,120 But now she's calling out to him and he starts moving and leaping 107 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:37,160 over mountains. And so there's movement here and 108 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:40,320 there's anticipation and there's excitement, and that woman hears 109 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:43,120 his voice before she sees him and she's excited over it. 110 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,560 I don't know the last time a lot of adults we lose this. 111 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:47,840 What's the last time that you felt genuine excitement when you 112 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:50,720 heard something, smelled something, saw something? 113 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,160 I mean, if it was a long time ago, think at least to like when 114 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:55,280 you were a kid and you knew your birthday was the next day or 115 00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:57,200 Christmas was the next day or whatever it is. 116 00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:01,880 So what you can picture here is active and intentional love, 117 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:05,320 love that is not just recognized, it starts moving 118 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,920 because it is so powerful. That's the whole vibe of what 119 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:10,600 we're discussing in this section, and one of the easiest 120 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,360 mistakes people make in relationships. 121 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,800 Here's your first blank is assuming that affection 122 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:21,160 automatically creates closeness. Affection automatically creates 123 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:25,360 closeness. Attraction can awaken quickly, 124 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:27,760 but connection only grows deeper through pursuit. 125 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:31,560 Healthy love is never passive. That's not a blank, but I'm 126 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:34,840 still going to repeat it. Healthy love is never passive. 127 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,960 Many times I've had a conversation with somebody who's 128 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:39,240 maybe a little more advanced in years. 129 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,440 They've loved the Lord for a long time, but but they've 130 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,360 settled into a routine rather than a deeper relationship. 131 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,000 And the more years that you're together, you should be growing 132 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,920 more and more intimately aware of each other. 133 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,400 You should be growing in your understanding of a person or 134 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:55,760 towards communication with them. The woman says, you know, here 135 00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:57,360 comes my lover, leaping over the mountains. 136 00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,760 Well, the Hebrew word that's translated as leaping is the 137 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:01,720 word dalog. It's the log. 138 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,720 It means to spring or leap or to move energetically. 139 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,080 To move energetically. Those of you who were here when 140 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,240 Pastor Tom was here, do you remember the calf let out of the 141 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:13,960 stalls? OK, that's the kind of leaping, 142 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:15,840 right? And if you weren't here, it's 143 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:17,960 exactly what it sounds like. I want you to picture a guy 144 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,360 leaping like a calf that's been let out of the stalls. 145 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,280 The picture is somebody who's eager. 146 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:26,640 He's not taking his time. He's not trying to be all well 147 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,120 put together and seem respectable. 148 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,920 He is pretty ready to get over there, right? 149 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:35,200 And so the illustration there is powerful because pursuit changes 150 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:39,120 how relationships feel for people that don't feel loved. 151 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:43,720 It's not normally because the person has said we don't love 152 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,760 you anymore. It's not normally because they 153 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,320 were never loved. I want you to hear this. 154 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:51,560 Most people that do feel loved, they feel loved because someone 155 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,800 continued to show up and continued to tell them. 156 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,720 It's interesting because it all comes so naturally in the first 157 00:07:56,720 --> 00:08:00,000 part of a relationship. Obviously romantically because 158 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,320 there's lots of flirtation and dating and things like that. 159 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:05,440 But also in friendships, there's a lot that we communicate early 160 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:06,800 on as we're connecting with people. 161 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:10,520 And then we start to settle into the safety zone and and it gets 162 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,720 a little bit more numb. And so the man then calls out, 163 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,400 rise up, my darling, and come with me. 164 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:18,200 That Hebrew word that that is translated into two for us, rise 165 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:22,120 up is the word kum. It means to arise or stand 166 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:27,160 awaken or to move from one position to another, from one 167 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,320 position to another. So he's actually calling her out 168 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:32,600 from where she is. While he's leaping, he's saying, 169 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,360 and you, let's get on with it too. 170 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:38,080 Move, right? And so throughout Scripture, 171 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:42,840 this word points to transition. Transition, something that is 172 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:44,600 changing, something that is beginning. 173 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,520 That's the heart of this section. 174 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:50,680 Love requires movement. It never forces it, but it does 175 00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:53,920 require it. And so that idea, like I was 176 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:55,440 saying, is much more than romance. 177 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,560 Think about moments in life where we become emotionally 178 00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:59,560 stuck. Think about those of us who have 179 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:02,440 started to protect ourselves after a disappointment with 180 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:05,000 somebody. Or sometimes we withdraw after 181 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:09,400 experiencing rejection and we convince ourselves that distance 182 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:13,720 is safer than vulnerability. But sometimes we remain where we 183 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,000 are because we assume movement will only lead to more pain. 184 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,280 But healthy love will challenge you To leave a place that has 185 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:24,000 become emotionally cold doesn't mean that the past didn't hurt. 186 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,320 It just means that staying frozen will always present 187 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:29,480 prevent your growth. As the man then starts talking 188 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:32,440 about seasons, we can easily look at that and say, well, I 189 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,680 understand winter and spring. You ain't got to explain that to 190 00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:35,920 me. Well, I'm going to. 191 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,280 He says the winter is past. The rains are over and gone. 192 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,960 That's because the Hebrew word that is translated as winter is 193 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:45,080 stav. And by the way, this is the only 194 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:48,520 place that this Hebrew word appears in Scripture, and it 195 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,520 carries the idea of a rainy season. 196 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:53,040 It wasn't just winter, but it was the season where rains 197 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:56,120 happened more often. It's a season, in other words, 198 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:59,960 where growth is hard to see, and because of that, we can see one 199 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:02,240 of the most beautiful transitions in this chapter. 200 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:06,040 Flowers then start to appear, birds sing, fruit starts 201 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:09,440 forming, and the season changes. All throughout scripture, 202 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:12,520 seasons represent spiritual realities in a lot of places. 203 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,080 And winter does not mean death as much as meat. 204 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,160 We we may think that sometimes it just means waiting. 205 00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:21,600 Spring doesn't create life. It reveals the life that was 206 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,240 there, developing beneath the surface during the winter. 207 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:28,800 Probably 3 years ago we talked about seasons of, of faith and 208 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:32,440 in the winter it was the, the, the correlation was that trees 209 00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:36,120 are not dead in the winter, but all of their resources are on 210 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:39,800 the inside keeping it alive, putting the roots down deeper so 211 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,680 that when the spring comes, they can actually flourish in a much 212 00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:45,160 more visible way. They're at work, you just can't 213 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:48,160 see it with your eye. And that's important for 214 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:49,800 different people in different stages of life. 215 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:53,240 Married people might realize that pursuit has gotten replaced 216 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,280 with routine sometimes in their marriage. 217 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,040 Single people might realize that they've stopped allowing 218 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:02,160 themselves to hope. And maybe widows or widowers 219 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:06,000 might recognize that love has helped form who they are in a 220 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,320 deep wave and continues to influence how they connect with 221 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:09,480 others. And that can be positive or 222 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:11,760 negative. And even those that are healing 223 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:14,320 from a broken relationship might realize that they've built walls 224 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:17,160 that are so high that nothing healthy can get through them at 225 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,960 this point. But Song of Songs is challenging 226 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,560 you. That love begins with a new 227 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:26,160 opportunity to move again. If it's been winter, the 228 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,840 Scripture wants you to know it can be spring. 229 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:32,000 This section continues with this imagery of fig trees that are 230 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,360 blossoming. The Hebrew word that's 231 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,360 translated as blossoms comes from semidar. 232 00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:40,400 Semidar. It means early growth or tender 233 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,320 blossoms. Tender blossoms. 234 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,440 It's a Jewish term that signals that fruit is coming, but not 235 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:49,400 fully here yet, which means a vineyard's not mature. 236 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:52,600 It's just saying that there is something beautiful growing from 237 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:56,360 this. Healthy love understand seasons. 238 00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:01,360 Healthy love understands seasons doesn't demand full fruit from 239 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:04,200 early growth. It recognizes that relationships 240 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,280 and healing and trust and communication and even emotional 241 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:12,480 health all take time to develop. One of the more quiet dangers of 242 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:15,520 life is assuming that because something mattered once, it'll 243 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,320 continue flourishing without care. 244 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,680 The Song of Songs is teaching us something different. 245 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:25,160 Healthy love always notices distance and chooses to move 246 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:30,000 toward connection. It always notices distance and 247 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,400 chooses to move toward connection. 248 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,880 Well, now let's just cover one verse, verse 14. 249 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:42,200 This is learn to be seen. I've often said that I think for 250 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:45,400 most people, one of their deepest desires is to be seen, 251 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:49,320 and one of their greatest fears is normally to be seen also. 252 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:51,720 It's one thing to be rejected for who you are. 253 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,920 It's another thing to be rejected for who you really are. 254 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,280 So the young man says this. He says, my dove is hiding 255 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:00,560 behind the rocks, behind an outcrop on the Cliff. 256 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,800 Let me see your face. Let me hear your voice, for your 257 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,080 voice is pleasant and your face is lovely. 258 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:09,600 The movement slows down a little bit here because it becomes a 259 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:12,400 little bit more personal. In the previous section, there 260 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,320 was excitement in pursuit, and now the imagery is narrowing 261 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:18,080 down to a single moment that is much more intimate than you 262 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:19,440 would think. At first. 263 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,800 The man is describing this woman as hidden among the rocks and 264 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,880 tucked into the cliffside like like a dove. 265 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:29,120 Well, healthy love eventually reaches a point where attraction 266 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:31,560 is no longer enough on its own. And I'm not saying that over 267 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,320 time you don't still feel attracted to your spouse or 268 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,800 whatever, but it's just not enough on its own. 269 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:40,600 Attraction can awaken quickly, but closeness always requires 270 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,720 you to move on to something that has a deeper value. 271 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:46,400 And at some point, every relationship encounters 272 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:50,200 vulnerability. Maybe, maybe you're an Olympic 273 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,320 grade hider of your vulnerability. 274 00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:55,000 There are some people that make a whole art form out of it. 275 00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,440 But I'm just telling you that the more you're around somebody, 276 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,320 at some point something cracks and you will show vulnerability. 277 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:04,160 You can't hide it forever. And there's parts of us that 278 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,440 feel confident or capable, funny or productive. 279 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:11,400 They can only carry a connection so far and then they're going to 280 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,000 see you on a bad day and people start revealing fears, 281 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,440 disappointments. Your blank is insecurities, 282 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,600 insecurities. Sometimes what we've been hiding 283 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,760 has been grief or just places where we feel uncertain whether 284 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:25,760 we'll be accepted if we're fully known. 285 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:29,160 And so the image of the dove here is also intentional in this 286 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,640 poetry. It helps us to understand what's 287 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,840 happening because the Hebrew word translated as dove yonah. 288 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:39,000 It's used all throughout Scripture because doves are 289 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:42,640 associated with gentleness, peace and innocence. 290 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:47,120 Innocence and softness. I'm sure I don't have to tell 291 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,440 you this, but you know, doves are not aggressive creatures, at 292 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:54,520 least not historically. I know there's always, there's 293 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:58,400 always a story somewhere. But doves, they startle easily, 294 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,960 and they naturally seek shelter when they're threatened. 295 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:04,800 In other words, this girl is excited, but she's scared and 296 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:06,560 she's not sure if she feels safe. 297 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,480 So she's hiding, right? That's the imagery. 298 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,760 And the place that she's hiding is also important. 299 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,320 That Scripture says that she's hiding among the rocks and 300 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:16,480 cliffs. The word for rock there is sila, 301 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:22,080 which refers to a Cliff, rocky refuge, or a protected place. 302 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,040 Protected place. That's important because 303 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,160 essentially, I don't know if I'm safe with you. 304 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,200 So I know I'm safe over here. You can see the connection to 305 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:33,200 modern relationships. I'm sure all throughout the Old 306 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:37,480 Testament that same word is used to positively describe places of 307 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:40,760 safety and shelter, strongholds and things like that. 308 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,560 And that detail changed the way that I read this verse. 309 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,520 As a side note, by the way, that is sela. 310 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:50,040 It is not the same as the sela that's used in the Psalms. 311 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,800 It probably does not come directly from the same word. 312 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:54,720 I wondered that when I was studying this. 313 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:58,040 But it is interesting that they are both moments that are meant 314 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:01,240 to make you feel safe enough to think and reflect and pause. 315 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:04,360 So I don't know, maybe they are connected, but most historians 316 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:06,720 have not found a connection. If I'm wrong, the Lord will 317 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,160 correct me one day. All right? 318 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:13,040 Some people, I'm sure nobody here, but some people have 319 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,000 learned to hide after disappointment. 320 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:21,240 Other people learn to hide after they feel betrayed or criticized 321 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:23,920 or rejected, or when they're lonely. 322 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,880 Some people hide after divorce or grief, or just years of 323 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:28,800 feeling unseen by people that they love. 324 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,760 And some people learn to protect themselves by becoming 325 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:34,480 impressive. Other people learn to protect 326 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:37,960 themselves by becoming independent, and there's still 327 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,920 others that learn to avoid vulnerability altogether because 328 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,720 distance felt safer than disappointment. 329 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,040 What's that saying if you expect to be disappointed? 330 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:51,600 If you expect to be disappointed, you'll never have 331 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,720 your expectations not met. Or something like that. 332 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:57,400 It's a sad saying. Over time, these protective 333 00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:00,320 places can begin to feel normal, even when they actually keep you 334 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,480 away from deeper relationships and connections. 335 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:06,319 So the response from the man is what makes this section so 336 00:17:06,319 --> 00:17:08,440 beautiful. He does not force her into the 337 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,760 open and he doesn't shame her for hiding. 338 00:17:11,319 --> 00:17:14,119 Instead, he says, let me see your face and let me hear your 339 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:16,760 voice. That Hebrew word for sea is 340 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,280 raha. It means more than simply 341 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:21,200 looking at someone. It's the whole idea of 342 00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:24,920 perceiving or noticing, considering something or someone 343 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:29,480 or truly paying attention, truly paying attention. 344 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,320 And the word there that's also translated his voice is coal 345 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,280 Cole. It does mean voice or sounder 346 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:39,160 expression, but more specifically, it means what 347 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:43,600 comes from within someone. In other words, he's not just 348 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,120 saying I like the sound of your voice. 349 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:47,160 He's saying I want to hear who you are. 350 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:51,120 So together those words have this deeper picture than, you 351 00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:53,320 know, just being physical attraction on appearance alone. 352 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,080 He really wants to know her and not just admire her. 353 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:59,880 So before she comes out from hiding, she he tells her that 354 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,880 her voice is pleasant and her face is lovely. 355 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:05,200 In the Hebrew, that word that's translated as pleasant is a Rev, 356 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,640 A Rev that means delightful, agreeable, or enjoyable to 357 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:12,680 receive. So in other words, affirmation 358 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:16,600 comes before there's a full encounter or exposure to this 359 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,440 situation. He's going out of his way to 360 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,400 create safety before he demands intimacy with her. 361 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:28,800 Guys, he's creating safety before he demands intimacy with 362 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:32,520 her. So that principle also reaches 363 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:35,200 beyond the romantic. Sometimes. 364 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,520 Married people slowly begin hiding their emotions while 365 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:39,760 sharing a house. They try to manage the emotions 366 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,600 of the other adult. Single people can become guarded 367 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:45,000 because of those disappointments and just try not to hope, 368 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:49,760 because hope is dangerous. Friendships can sometimes become 369 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:52,040 shallow over time, and it's not because people don't care. 370 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,400 It's just because they stopped allowing themselves to be known 371 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,800 by people who used to know them better than anybody else. 372 00:18:57,360 --> 00:19:01,040 But renewing our minds means learning that known is not the 373 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:06,760 same thing as being exposed. Known is not the same thing as 374 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,960 being exposed. Healthy love always creates an 375 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,920 environment where people can gradually stop performing for 376 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,040 each other and just start telling the truth. 377 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,360 To me, one of the strongest signs of emotional and spiritual 378 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:20,880 maturity is not finding someone who never hides. 379 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:23,720 It's becoming someone safe enough that others don't feel 380 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,320 like they have to hide in the 1st place. 381 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:28,680 All right, let's go on to verse 15. 382 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,840 Let's learn to protect what matters. 383 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:36,120 Learn to protect what matters. And to me, this is previous to 384 00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:38,520 studying this, this book of the Bible. 385 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:42,520 This is the defining scripture to me of Song of Songs. 386 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:46,240 It's the one that has had the most use outside of romantic 387 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:47,600 lessons. But here's what it says in verse 388 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:51,280 15. The young women of Jerusalem say 389 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,160 this. Catch all the foxes, those 390 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:56,640 little foxes before they ruin the vineyard of love for the 391 00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:59,360 grape vines are blossoming. That's it. 392 00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:01,080 That's the whole scripture we're going over right here. 393 00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:03,000 You have to watch out for the little foxes. 394 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,280 It's one of the most recognizable ones in Song of 395 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:08,440 Songs, but it becomes much richer when you slow down enough 396 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,080 to notice where it is. Before I go on, anybody familiar 397 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:12,560 with that scripture? Has anybody heard that before? 398 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:16,320 The little foxes? OK, so the warning about foxes 399 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:20,480 doesn't come from betrayal or conflict or any of those things. 400 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,480 Like we were just talking about the things that we go through 401 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,640 that make us want to hide. All right, It appears that while 402 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:29,080 the relationship is healthy, that's where the the warning 403 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:30,560 comes in. So that's your first blank. 404 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:34,200 Healthy love is growing and pursuits happening and blossoms 405 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,520 are here. But that detail changes 406 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,960 everything because the warnings not about repairing something 407 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:41,320 that's broken, it's about protecting something wonderful 408 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:46,240 before the damage ever comes. Throughout Song of Songs, the 409 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,640 vineyard is one of the more prevalent images for love. 410 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:52,680 Earlier last week in the study, we we saw that the the woman 411 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:55,800 described was described as neglecting her own vineyard. 412 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:59,120 And that language was used to talk about her own life and 413 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:02,360 condition and hear the image is back, but it's shared ground for 414 00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:04,600 both of them now. And the Huber word for a 415 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:08,240 vineyard is Karem, which means cultivated land that's been 416 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,040 prepared for growth and fruitfulness. 417 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:15,360 Growth and fruitfulness. I don't grow things, but I know 418 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,440 people that do. And from what I understand, you 419 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,120 can't just pick a plot of dirt and decide to grow something 420 00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:22,280 there. Certain soils are better for 421 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,480 other things, certain seasons, things like that. 422 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:28,520 And so this is talking about ground and land that has been 423 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,680 used specifically to produce things that are fruitful. 424 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,800 And as a reminder, although we do know this, vineyards do not 425 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,560 happen naturally. There are no natural vineyards 426 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,960 in the world. There might be natural growth in 427 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,120 plants and things like that, but a vineyard is much more 428 00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:45,520 organized and structured because they require intentional 429 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:48,400 planning and attention and pruning and protection over long 430 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:52,120 periods of time, which makes the warning about the foxes very 431 00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:55,840 practical for all of us. So that Hebrew word translated 432 00:21:55,840 --> 00:22:00,600 as foxes is shuwal. Shuwal And maybe some of us 433 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:03,240 imagine foxes as dangerous predators because, you know, if 434 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,120 you see one in your yard, it's rare today and you might be 435 00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:07,480 worried about rabies or whatever. 436 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,160 Or maybe some of you think about that song. 437 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:13,840 What does the fox say? The understanding in the ancient 438 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:15,160 world was much smaller than that. 439 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:17,640 They were not scared of foxes. They had much bigger predators 440 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,640 to worry about. But foxes were known for 441 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,800 slipping in unnoticed to vineyards, and they would damage 442 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,200 what was beginning to grow. They would chew on the roots of 443 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,480 plants. They would damage the blossoms 444 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:32,280 when they were still so ungrown that they couldn't be harvested. 445 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,800 Essentially, they would stop fruit from being able to 446 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:36,800 develop. And so they were not really 447 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:38,840 dramatic enough to cause an immediate alarm. 448 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:42,000 A farmer wasn't going to freak out if they saw a fox, but they 449 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,560 would realize, oh, there's something I need to protect. 450 00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:48,000 Because over time they could ruin something that had taken a 451 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:51,480 long time to cultivate. They could ruin something that 452 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:53,040 had taken a long time to cultivate. 453 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,440 And that's why the instruction is not to abandon the vineyard 454 00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:58,480 or assume that growth is going to take care of itself. 455 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,000 This scripture says, pay attention. 456 00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:05,040 That principle reaches far beyond the same relationships 457 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:08,360 that we were talking about. We assume that trust maintains 458 00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:10,120 itself. We assume that because we're 459 00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:12,600 close at one point, the closeness will always remain. 460 00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:16,040 We assume that when we express affection, people will always 461 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,680 remember that we expressed it that one time 14 years ago. 462 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:22,800 Most relationships, I won't say all. 463 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:26,720 Most relationships that fall apart are not destroyed by one 464 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:31,000 single dramatic moment. More often, distance develops 465 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,800 through small patterns that seem harmless in the moment. 466 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:37,560 Unspoken disappointment, neglected communication, 467 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:43,960 constant busyness, comparison, frustration, lack of being 468 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:48,280 intentional. I got more emotional withdrawal. 469 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:52,080 Or maybe just assuming somebody already knows they are all 470 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:56,560 little foxes and they can slowly become foxes in the vineyard of 471 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,440 your relationship. So that same principle applies 472 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:01,680 spiritually as well. I just would not be a good 473 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:04,960 pastor to not highlight this. Most people that drift from God 474 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,440 don't really do it all at once. They don't wake up one day and 475 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:12,000 say forget him. More often that happens with 476 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,520 small compromises that become habits. 477 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:16,840 Prayer starts being inconsistent. 478 00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:19,000 Scripture reading becomes occasional. 479 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:22,360 Obedience becomes delayed, which really delayed obedience is 480 00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:25,720 still disobedience. Gratitude becomes rare. 481 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:29,120 Nothing is catastrophic, but eventually people wake up and 482 00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:31,120 realize that distance formed and they're used to it. 483 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,520 That's why this verse is so wise. 484 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:37,200 We have to stop asking whether something is big enough to 485 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,160 address. Maybe you've been there before. 486 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:40,680 Hey, have you talked to them about it? 487 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:44,040 No, it's not a big deal really, because you just talked about it 488 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:48,080 to me for 30 minutes. It's not big enough for me to 489 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:49,840 bring up. We have to stop asking whether 490 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,720 something is big enough to address and start to ask whether 491 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:59,080 it matters enough to protect it matters enough to protect it. 492 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:02,000 Song of Songs is reminding us the healthiest relationships are 493 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,960 never built by those dramatic moments either. 494 00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:08,120 They're built by people who notice the small things early 495 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,960 and care for what God has entrusted to them before damage 496 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:15,760 has time to grow. All right, verses 16 and 17, 497 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:19,520 let's learn to choose daily. Many of y'all have heard this 498 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,040 before. Love is not an emotion. 499 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:24,880 It's a it's a choice. Yeah, it's a choice. 500 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:26,360 You have to decide. It's a decision. 501 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:29,560 I mean, there's some good emotions with it too, but 502 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:32,840 ultimately, if you want to make this last in the long term, it's 503 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:36,760 a decision. When she says my lover is mine 504 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:40,600 and I'm his, he browses among the lilies before the dawn 505 00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,800 breezes blow and the night shadows flee. 506 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:46,440 Return to me my love like a gazelle or young stag on the 507 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:50,520 rugged mountains. After warning about the little 508 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:54,080 foxes, the song turns back towards the relationship itself. 509 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:56,920 The goal of protecting that vineyard was never about 510 00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:58,960 avoiding problems. It's about preserving the 511 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,160 valuable things that are within the vineyard. 512 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:05,440 And the woman, when she says my lover is mine and I am his. 513 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:06,720 At first glance, that sounds simple. 514 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:10,360 That sounds like a Valentine's card, but it is a pretty deep 515 00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:13,040 statement there because you remember just a few verses ago, 516 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:16,000 she's hiding and he's having to call her out and say, hey, this 517 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,960 is safe. Now she's saying that there's 518 00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:21,400 mutuality to this and this is the first time in Song of Songs 519 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:25,560 that belonging becomes the focus, that belonging becomes 520 00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,400 the focus. All the way up until now, 521 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,680 there's been attraction and and admiration of each other. 522 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,720 There's been pursuit, there's been love and and and 523 00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:35,840 affirmation. But here the relationship starts 524 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:38,520 to become more settled and the language becomes less about 525 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:43,640 discovering each other and more about choosing someone, choosing 526 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:45,720 someone. That Hebrew word that is 527 00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:50,080 translated as my lover is dode. It's, it's a word that's just 528 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:53,080 connected to affection and belovedness or intimacy, 529 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,680 intimacy. Earlier in the study, we saw 530 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,680 that that word also carried the, the, the idea of warmth and 531 00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,360 attraction. But here it appears alongside 532 00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:03,880 the language of mutual belonging. 533 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:06,720 It's interesting how many ways they would use the same words, 534 00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:08,200 but they had different connotations. 535 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,120 There's only, if I remember correctly, about 3000 words in 536 00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:14,160 the ancient Hebrew language. And so they were real creative 537 00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:15,600 in the ways that they applied this. 538 00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:19,360 And so if you notice, she doesn't just say he's mine, she 539 00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:23,080 immediately adds, and I am his. It's not one person consuming 540 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,040 the attention of another. It's shared devotion. 541 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:28,760 And I think that matters a lot in a culture that speaks about 542 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,320 love almost entirely through the lens of feelings. 543 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:34,880 Go look at the love cards. I mean, the next time that we're 544 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:38,160 near Valentine's Day, go go read about it and the things about 545 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:41,040 how you make me feel and, and all of this. 546 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,440 I mean, well, feelings are great, but how many of you all 547 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,160 know that the person you love the most generally has the most 548 00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:48,240 ability to create other emotions in you too? 549 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,040 And they're not all positive, right? 550 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:58,160 Feelings awaken love, but choices strengthen it. 551 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:03,600 Choices strengthen it. Attraction might introduce 552 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,200 people to one another, but being intentional is what teaches them 553 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,200 how to remain because they feel like they belong. 554 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:12,480 And isn't it also interesting that this section appears almost 555 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,600 like immediately after the warning about protecting the 556 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:16,680 vineyard? I don't think that placement is 557 00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:18,560 accidental. Healthy relationships are not 558 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:20,160 protected because they're fragile. 559 00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:22,400 They're protected because they're valuable. 560 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,920 And so you should not have to protect something just because 561 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,200 you expect it to fail. If I don't do this, she's going 562 00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,160 to not love me anymore. If I don't do this, it's going 563 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,000 to fall apart. No, you should protect it 564 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:35,320 because you want it to flourish. That's why we protect those that 565 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,760 we love. And the verse continues on by 566 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:39,280 saying he browses among the lilies. 567 00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:42,040 That word that is translated as browses is raha. 568 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:47,160 It means to tend or to shepherd, to shepherd, to pasture, to feed 569 00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:50,080 or care for. That's the same word that often 570 00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:52,160 appears all throughout the Old Testament in shepherding 571 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:54,520 language. The whole relationship has 572 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:57,240 another layer of meaning here. That image that we're picturing 573 00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:59,920 here is not just enjoying beauty, it's remaining close 574 00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:01,240 enough to be able to care for it. 575 00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:06,600 Just remember that learning that lasting love in your life is not 576 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:09,440 built by finding someone who always makes us feel something. 577 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:13,120 It's more built along the lines of ordinary moments where people 578 00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,640 continue to move towards each other because we learned that we 579 00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:17,480 can rely on each other and we know that we belong. 580 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,320 Well, the last section we're going to look at is the 1st 5 581 00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:24,880 verses of chapter 3. This is learn to keep seeking. 582 00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:26,760 It's not just choosing every day. 583 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,680 And you hear this word a lot in my sermons, but you've got to be 584 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:31,360 curious about other people. You want to have good 585 00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:33,520 friendships in the church and the community. 586 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:36,120 You've got to be curious. And by the way, I would just 587 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,000 tell you the more different they are, the more curious you 588 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,440 probably should be. You don't have to change your 589 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:43,680 mind, but don't you like, do you not want to know what makes them 590 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:45,560 tick? I, I I can't understand not 591 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:48,960 wanting to know it. All right, here comes the 592 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:55,080 uncomfortable verses ready. One night as I lay in bed, I 593 00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:57,040 yearned for my lover. I yearned for him, but he did 594 00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:59,720 not come. So I said to myself, I'll get up 595 00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:03,160 and roam the city, searching in all its streets and squares. 596 00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:05,480 I'll search for the one I love, she says. 597 00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,440 So I searched everywhere but did not find him. 598 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,840 The Watchmen stopped me as they made their rounds, and I asked, 599 00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:14,280 Have you seen the one I love? And then scarcely had I left him 600 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,760 when I found my love, and I caught him, and I held tightly, 601 00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:20,440 she said. I brought him to my mother's 602 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,720 house and to my mother's bed where I had been conceived. 603 00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:27,880 It's a little specific. Verse 5 says, Promise me, O 604 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:31,720 women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to 605 00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:33,520 awaken love until the time is right. 606 00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:36,240 Does that sound familiar? So this section closes with the 607 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:38,960 movement of pursuit in a way that feels very different from 608 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,480 where it began before. He's leaping over mountains. 609 00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:44,160 She's hiding all bashful in the in the in the rocks. 610 00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:45,600 And all of a sudden she's like, hey, where is he? 611 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,480 And she decides to go and search for him. 612 00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:49,520 The tone has become very different here. 613 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,160 Instead of someone coming toward her, now she finds herself 614 00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:53,920 searching. But let me ask you this. 615 00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:55,920 Do you think she's grown in confidence in her relationship 616 00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,560 at this point? The truth is that pursuit 617 00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:03,240 matters a great deal more after Love awakens rather than the 618 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:06,320 initial falling for you process. And that's your first blank. 619 00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:09,520 It matters a great deal more after Love awakens. 620 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:12,920 Why? Because it's so easy to pursue 621 00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,440 someone when they're new and exciting and you're figuring out 622 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,280 things. But when it's deeper work and 623 00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,960 it's harder work, pursuit matters so much more. 624 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:22,840 And I also want to say this because when I first read 625 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,200 through this, I thought, well, this is a little weird because 626 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,640 it seems like they've just had a great time, whatever they did. 627 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:30,080 And all of a sudden she's looking around. 628 00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:33,000 Where is he? And it seems like he's abandoned 629 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,080 her. But remember that Song of Songs 630 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:37,680 moves more in a poetic way than it does in a strict 631 00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:41,160 chronological timeline, so this moment should not automatically 632 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:44,240 be read as he abandoned her. Like they had a fight and he had 633 00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:46,160 to go like cool off or something like this. 634 00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:49,320 This is just meant to reflect longing for him. 635 00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,920 She has found that she used to be OK being alone, she used to 636 00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,880 be OK being distant, and now she doesn't like it so much. 637 00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,560 And remember, there's no phones or quick communication options. 638 00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:02,640 The reality is that love is awakened deeply enough in her 639 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:04,520 that when they're not together, an absence is felt. 640 00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:05,920 And she had to do something about it. 641 00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:09,880 OK, so that Hebrew word translated as yearned or maybe 642 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:11,480 in your translation it might say searched. 643 00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:14,520 It is bakash. Bakash. 644 00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:19,080 It means to seek or pursue, to look for or desire. 645 00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:23,280 That word appears all throughout the Old Testament to not only 646 00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:26,320 searching physically, but also for intentionally seeking after 647 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:29,680 something of value. And the repetition when it's 648 00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:31,840 used for these two different words here really does matter 649 00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:34,280 because she seeks once and then she seeks again. 650 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,960 She recognizes that what she has found has value, and it's worth 651 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:40,920 trying over and over again if the first time didn't work. 652 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,640 And that's to me, a really big contrast to the way a lot of 653 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:46,880 people think about relationships or even their spiritual life 654 00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:50,280 today. I think to me as I talk to 655 00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:52,640 people, a lot of times there's this, this feeling that if 656 00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,120 something's healthy, it should always feel effortless. 657 00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:57,480 As a matter of fact, as Cassie and I were first falling in 658 00:32:57,480 --> 00:33:00,160 love, we used to always describe it as man, it feels effortless 659 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,080 because we were so into each other. 660 00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,560 And, and to be honest, I mean, I never think about doing 661 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:06,400 something else or going anywhere else, I promise. 662 00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:11,720 But but the reality is, could you look back in the last 16 663 00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,000 years and say it's been effortless? 664 00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:20,520 I would call it effortful. I'm a delight. 665 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:22,160 I don't know. You are a delight. 666 00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:24,600 And true delights are worth double the effort. 667 00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:29,080 So listen, I mean, a lot of times we feel like, well, if, if 668 00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:30,440 you know, it shouldn't be this hard. 669 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:34,160 Love shouldn't be this hard. No, anything worth having is 670 00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:37,200 worth putting in sweat equity. What do you mean it shouldn't be 671 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:39,440 this hard? It's going to take work. 672 00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:43,320 Scripture regularly presents growth as something that is 673 00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:45,120 active. Gardens require tending. 674 00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,320 Vineyards require protection. Cars require maintenance. 675 00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,640 Wisdom requires seeking. You don't one day wake up and 676 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:53,920 become wise and then never have to seek wisdom again. 677 00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:56,840 If you're actually wise, you keep searching wisdom because 678 00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:58,560 you start figuring out all the things that you don't 679 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:01,960 understand. Therefore, I would submit to you 680 00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:04,320 that relationships require even more movement. 681 00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:06,800 When she says I'll get up and I'll roam the city and I'll 682 00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:09,239 search all the streets and squares, that word roam, it's 683 00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:12,400 not in your notes, but it does have the idea of circling or 684 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,239 moving through. When I say circling, you can't 685 00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:17,760 do a circle unless you end up where you started, right? 686 00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:20,560 So she is willing to search and search again. 687 00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:24,239 That's the idea conveyed here. And that image also is worth 688 00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:27,000 thinking about. We've watched love move in 689 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,400 different directions. Someone crossed mountains and 690 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,800 someone invited another one forward and they came out of 691 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:35,560 hiding and someone protected things that are growing right 692 00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:37,560 here. You can see that someone chooses 693 00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:41,840 not to stay passive when the connection gets interrupted, not 694 00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:44,880 to stay passive when the connection gets interrupted. 695 00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:48,960 In other words, they were having really good communication, 696 00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:51,280 really good time, and all of a sudden now something has 697 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:54,040 interrupted it and she doesn't take it and automatically say 698 00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,639 like, well, then he didn't get my attention anymore. 699 00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:00,280 She said, I'll close the gap, I'll close the distance, right? 700 00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:05,400 Married couples will eventually learn that closeness sometimes 701 00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:07,640 requires returning to conversations. 702 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:11,800 I'm so sorry, guys, but sometimes, not all the time, but 703 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,440 sometimes you have to return to a conversation. 704 00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:17,040 Sometimes you have to rebuild the rhythm that you guys had 705 00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:20,160 originally set and you have to start moving towards one another 706 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:22,000 again. Those of you who are not 707 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,480 married, I would just tell you it is healthy when you realize 708 00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,320 that relationships are not found by withdrawing emotionally 709 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:30,200 altogether. Not saying don't exercise wisdom 710 00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:33,080 but how will you ever be known if you don't open yourself up? 711 00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:38,360 People who have have lost a spouse, they understand more 712 00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:40,800 than many how love leaves marks on the soul that will keep 713 00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:44,920 influencing you and friendships. I'll just tell you, friendships 714 00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:49,000 don't grow deeper on accident. Spiritually, a lot of believers 715 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,040 know what it feels like to go through seasons where God 716 00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:55,000 himself feels quiet. But here she encounters the 717 00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,840 Watchmen of the city. And the Watchmen were people 718 00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:59,040 assigned to stay awake while other people slept. 719 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:01,920 I think she ran into them because they were the only ones 720 00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:04,640 awake, but they're protecting and they're observing what's 721 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:06,600 happening around them. And it's interesting that she 722 00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:08,560 asked them if they've seen the one she loves. 723 00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:10,560 But she doesn't even remain there long. 724 00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:12,920 She continues until she finds him. 725 00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:15,520 Most of us would be like, well, I filed the police report. 726 00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:16,840 They'll call me if they find anything. 727 00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:19,960 She said you haven't seen them. I'm going to keep looking. 728 00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:23,200 Does she seem focused on it? I mean, I think she seems 729 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:26,000 focused on it. Even the phrase the one I love 730 00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:30,760 comes again from that word ahav, which means love, affection, 731 00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:34,880 devotion or a relational attachment. 732 00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,520 That word appears repeatedly throughout Song of Songs. 733 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,040 And remember that love in this book is not treated in a light 734 00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,080 hearted way. It always carries so much 735 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,480 intentionality. The section closes with the 736 00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:48,880 words that I said you were going to hear several times that we've 737 00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:51,040 heard before. Promise me not to awaken love 738 00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:54,680 until the time is right. That warning returns here, and 739 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:57,240 it's specifically placed there because pursuit is not 740 00:36:57,240 --> 00:37:03,120 permission for impatience. Impatience, desire still 741 00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,760 requires wisdom, and love still requires timing. 742 00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:08,800 So even as she is almost frantically searching the area 743 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:12,000 for the one that she loves, it is intentionally placed there. 744 00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:16,240 OK, you can look, but don't awaken it until the time is 745 00:37:16,240 --> 00:37:18,040 right. One of the greatest signs of 746 00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:21,160 maturity is not that you never experienced distance from those 747 00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:24,680 that you love, but it is refusing to stop seeking what is 748 00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:26,960 worth finding. If you're watching on the 749 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,040 Liberty live stream, we're going to go ahead and cut the stream 750 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:32,320 here and we'll start with some some table talk and then we'll 751 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:33,440 end with some worship tonight.