1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:03,640 Oh man, it is. It's July. 2 00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:05,920 What am I doing? Preaching in a in a hoodie? 3 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:11,200 Well, I'm glad you asked. We're going to have some fun 4 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:18,360 today. So this is pretty great. 5 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:24,240 Had the staff at a little getaway last year and I, I made 6 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:26,240 a joke that I made a few times where I said, you know, if you 7 00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:29,360 ever seen the Sour Patch Kids commercials, I said, I'm a sour 8 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:32,600 patch pastor. First I'm sour, but then I'm 9 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,280 sweet. You know, I like sarcasm. 10 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:35,520 But hey, if you need me, I'll be there. 11 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:43,120 And Pastor Autumn gave this to me for Christmas and it has 12 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:47,040 lemons here on the back, which is important for today. 13 00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:51,280 Whoa. It's a really big 1. 14 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:56,080 So it's going to take us a minute to get there, but if 15 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:59,000 you'd like to read along, we're going to be in Exodus chapter 15 16 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:02,680 to begin with this morning. Before we get there, I'll ask 17 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:05,080 Pastor Autumn, since you thought that this hoodie was a good 18 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:06,640 idea, would you come on up here and help me with something? 19 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:09,240 And where is my daughter, Emma Lynn? 20 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,240 She'll be right back. OK. 21 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,160 All right, so here's what's going to happen. 22 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,000 Come on up. Yeah, right up here. 23 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:23,960 I'm going to ask you to slice these lemons up. 24 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,440 Well, I'm going to step away from you once you pick up the 25 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:33,440 knife, just just for my own safety. 26 00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:37,000 Yeah. And let's see. 27 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:42,000 Cassandra, would you bring me my my water up here, please? 28 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,880 Hello. Now, here's why I've asked them 29 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:49,520 to to come on up here occasionally. 30 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:51,800 We've gone out to eat as a big group. 31 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,480 And these two weirdos, well, they have this thing that they 32 00:01:55,480 --> 00:02:00,800 do sometimes where they will grab a slice of lemon and 33 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,360 they'll pour like some sweetener on it. 34 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:04,320 And then they just stick the lemon in their mouth. 35 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,080 And I'm like, you know, there's a dessert menu. 36 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:09,639 You don't have to do that, but they do this. 37 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,120 So if you would just slice up these lemons, Pastor Autumn, how 38 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:16,200 do you want them sliced? How do you want them sliced? 39 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,080 It's not for me. Y'all are the weirdos with the 40 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:23,720 tradition. What's the She said slice them 41 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,200 the normal way. It's the normal way. 42 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:31,960 OK. It's not a very sharp knife. 43 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:35,920 Well, it's it's it's enormous. So, yeah, you see fog coming up 44 00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:40,160 from the lemons. You see fog coming up from the 45 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,760 lemons. I hope it's not fog. 46 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:43,600 There you go. All right. 47 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,720 You guys are going to just engage in your tradition, but 48 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:54,120 with no sweetener this time. She said you can have the 49 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:55,320 biggest one. She said no. 50 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,320 I just want you guys to take a really good big bite. 51 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:05,160 Oh, look, there's Kit Kat. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 52 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:06,600 You can cut it in half if you want. 53 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:08,680 I don't know. I think the whole thing should 54 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:09,360 just go on. All right? 55 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,800 There's a lot of medicinal aspects to lemon rind, right? 56 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:18,880 Yeah. Just the whole take a big old 57 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:19,920 bite. Look, there's Kit Kat. 58 00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:22,200 Just look at her and take a big bite together. 59 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:24,360 Ready. Go for it. 60 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:31,520 Big bite, big bite. No, nobody didn't bite it. 61 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:33,040 But you guys do this all the time. 62 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:35,920 But I didn't do it the right way. 63 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,120 Oh, don't know what I was thinking. 64 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:42,280 Pastor Ron, would you cut these other ones in half for me? 65 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,680 My hands have spit on. That's all right. 66 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,160 You're not in the kitchen. Can you just, can you just cut 67 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,680 them in half and then just squeeze the lemon juice into 68 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:55,760 this for me? All right, Why did I do this 69 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,920 other than, man, what are they going to do? 70 00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,600 Tell me no up here? It's so funny. 71 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:00,880 We just all laughed together, didn't we? 72 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:07,160 Here's the thing, The the lemon didn't really change. 73 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:11,000 It's always been what it is. I will say, Autumn, I think you 74 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:15,760 handled it a little bit better than Emma did, but not by a lot. 75 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,839 Here's the thing, one of them handled a little bit better than 76 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:24,920 the other one, but they both were obviously reacting to it 77 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,640 and here's why. How many of you have reacted to 78 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:31,680 something that was too tart or too sour before you know and you 79 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:33,280 have this whole body reaction to it. 80 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,720 But how many of you like something that is sour but you 81 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:39,360 used to not enjoy it? I remember I used to tell my 82 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:42,160 friends how much I loved warheads. 83 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:43,880 Do you ever have those candy warheads? 84 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,120 I was like oh I love them. Hated them. 85 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,440 I got older and liked them but as a kid I was like oh I love 86 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:51,120 them so much. They don't hurt my mouth at all. 87 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:53,960 Meanwhile I'm losing like 13 layers of skin on the roof of my 88 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,800 mouth because I'm trying to be cool. 89 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:02,080 Nobody plans on becoming bitter. Nobody wakes up 1 morning hoping 90 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:05,160 that they can spend years of resentment or replaying old 91 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:06,680 herds. Bitterness usually starts with 92 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,760 something real. Somebody says something that 93 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:12,040 cuts deeply or betrays your trust or someone who lets you 94 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,800 down. Basically, someone leaves a sour 95 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:21,200 taste in your soul, and at first we know something isn't right 96 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,520 and it bothers us. But if you never surrender that 97 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,880 hurt to God, then something else is going to happen and you're 98 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,960 going to adapt to it. As time goes on, you influence 99 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:32,800 other people and you pour into their lives whether you want to 100 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,560 or not. Pastor Autumn, would you pour me 101 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:39,000 a glass, please? Yeah. 102 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:40,600 Yeah. Would you just pour me a glass? 103 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:45,120 Thank you. You know how many of you guys 104 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:46,160 like a little lemon in your water? 105 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:49,720 Yeah. It's good for you. 106 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:51,680 That's what I hear. Yeah. 107 00:05:53,680 --> 00:06:02,660 It's got some floaties. It's quite pungent. 108 00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:07,460 Did you say there was spit on your hands? 109 00:06:07,460 --> 00:06:13,220 I think so. No, no, no, just. 110 00:06:13,380 --> 00:06:18,440 I'm just going to leave it here. I think you've you've helped me 111 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:20,760 enough. I think so as well. 112 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:23,880 Thank you. Thank you. 113 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:32,000 As you were. OK, I'll, I don't know if that's 114 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,400 lemon water or just watery lemon. 115 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:37,720 I think I'll pass. I'm just going to leave that 116 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:40,680 there for now, though. Today's message is called 117 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:44,840 bitterness, but it's called the sin we learn to live with. 118 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:47,760 We're talking about the open secrets of sin. 119 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,520 What are things that happen in a church that we just treat as 120 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:52,920 normal? And bitterness is one of them. 121 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,680 And I get it because a lot of times when you hear somebody's 122 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:57,840 story, you don't want to discount what they've been 123 00:06:57,840 --> 00:06:58,840 through. And so when they tell you 124 00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:01,560 something that really wounded them, really hurt them, you 125 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,040 don't want to sound like you're you're dismissing it or saying 126 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:05,760 it's not a big deal. The wound is real. 127 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,200 But sometimes have you ever known somebody who's carried A 128 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:11,840 wound for, I don't know, 5-10, fifteen, 30 years sometimes? 129 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,680 And you think, wow, they'd be so much healthier if they could get 130 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,000 rid of this wound or if they could heal from this wound. 131 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,760 As strange as it sounds, this is exactly where we find God's 132 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:24,840 people in Exodus 15. Now, to understand what's 133 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:27,640 happening here, you have to remember where Israel is in this 134 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:29,200 story. God has just delivered His 135 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,480 people from over 400 years of slavery in Egypt. 136 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,880 They have witnessed the 10 plagues happening. 137 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:38,200 They've watched the Angel of death Passover their homes and 138 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:42,200 walked through the Red Sea on dry ground while Pharaoh's army 139 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:46,720 got swallowed up behind them. In fact, if you read the verses 140 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:50,640 immediately before our opening scriptures today, you'll find 141 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:55,040 Moses and the Israelites singing songs of worship because God had 142 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,720 done exactly what He promised He would do. 143 00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:59,480 Have you been there? I know we're going to talk about 144 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,200 bitterness, but have you ever been in the season where you're 145 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,680 like, wow, God really came through? 146 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,480 This is not going to be possible without him. 147 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:07,400 And he did it. Life could not be better for the 148 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,000 Israelites. They are finally free. 149 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:13,000 And then just three days later, a lot can happen in three days. 150 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,800 Right now, they can't find water. 151 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,280 And when they finally do, it's undrinkable. 152 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:23,160 Any guesses why? Because it's it's bitter. 153 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:26,560 All right, it's amazing how quickly our circumstances can 154 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:28,120 change. And the second that something is 155 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,320 unfavorable, you start forgetting about the goodness of 156 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:32,799 God and how he's been there. Three days earlier they're 157 00:08:32,799 --> 00:08:34,880 celebrating God's faithfulness, and three days later they're 158 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,799 questioning if God's even going to provide for them. 159 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:40,280 One of the reasons this story is more relatable than we think is 160 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,760 because bitterness doesn't begin when everything's going wrong. 161 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:45,480 It begins in the moments after God has been faithful. 162 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,640 See, we start to let our guard down and we say, well, now 163 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,760 things are going well. Now God is always going to bless 164 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:54,080 me, but this life is hard. Listen to the starting in verse 165 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:56,440 22. It says this. 166 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:59,800 Then Moses led the people of Israel away from the Red Sea and 167 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,360 they moved out into the desert of shore. 168 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,560 They travelled in this desert for three days without finding 169 00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:08,000 any water. And when they came to the Oasis 170 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:14,320 at Mara Oasis, the water was too bitter to drink. 171 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:17,680 So they called this place Mara, which means bitter. 172 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,600 And then the people complained and turned against Moses. 173 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:23,760 What are we going to drink? They demanded. 174 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:25,960 So Moses cried out to the Lord for help. 175 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:29,920 And the Lord showed him a piece of wood, and Moses threw it into 176 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,600 the water, and this made the water good to drink. 177 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:43,600 Anybody got a stick? If you do, don't, don't. 178 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,360 I don't want to ask you why I'm not. 179 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:47,800 I think I'm still not going to risk it. 180 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:51,360 All right. It was there at Mara that the 181 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:54,680 Lord set before them the following decree as a standard 182 00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:56,360 to test their faithfulness to him. 183 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,080 Listen, it's a decree to test their faithfulness. 184 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,400 He said, If you will listen carefully to the voice of the 185 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:07,320 Lord your God, and do what is right in his sight, in whose 186 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:11,080 sight? OK, obeying his commands, 187 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:14,000 keeping all his decrees, then I will not make you suffer any of 188 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:17,640 the diseases I sent on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord who 189 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:21,200 heals you. And after leaving Mera, the 190 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:25,920 Israelites travelled on to the Oasis of Elam where they found 191 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:30,040 12 springs and 70 palm trees. And they camped there beside the 192 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:35,600 water question room full of Bible scholars. 193 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:38,040 Now we just read it together. How many of them died of 194 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:41,760 dehydration? How many of them suffered 195 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:45,200 because of their circumstances? The very first thing that 196 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,480 happened they assumed was the ultimate thing that was going to 197 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,680 happen. God, you saved me just so I 198 00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:52,640 could drink bitter water. He said, why don't you keep 199 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:55,520 walking? He never told them to stop 200 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:56,880 there. They just found water and said 201 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,600 this must be God's provision. I'm here to tell you that 202 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,000 sometimes what you embrace is God's provision is just 203 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:06,000 something in your life. Sometimes it's just something 204 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,400 you've encountered and it wasn't what the Lord meant to refresh 205 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,480 you. And then when you drink of it, 206 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,520 it's bitter and you say, well, this is what the Lord's done to 207 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:17,240 me. Now that being said, scripture 208 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,880 doesn't tell the Israelites to ignore reality or to think more 209 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,960 positively. Have you ever known a Christian 210 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,320 that would have shown up at Marin been like, this water's 211 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:27,360 great? Praise God who provided this 212 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:31,560 water, right? When you're sick, it's OK to say 213 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:34,600 that you're sick, but you are pleading the blood of Jesus over 214 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:38,600 you for healing. It doesn't do you any good to 215 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,960 say no, I'm a child of God, I'm never sick. 216 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:43,760 That actually just makes you a liar. 217 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:47,240 Guess what? Lying is bitterness. 218 00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:49,960 What I want you to know is not something that happens 219 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:53,480 immediately. It almost always takes time. 220 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:57,160 It doesn't begin with something that happens in one second, but 221 00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,600 it does begin with a genuine wound or a genuine 222 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:03,080 disappointment or an injustice. Your pain is not imaginary. 223 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:05,000 And so I'm not here to belittle the things that you've been 224 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,000 through any more than I'd want you to belittle the things that 225 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:10,320 I've been through. The real question in this story 226 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:12,000 wasn't whether or not the water was bitter. 227 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:15,120 Everybody agreed that it was. The real question is what the 228 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,680 people would do next. Would they bring their 229 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:19,760 disappointment to God and trust Him with it? 230 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:21,960 Or would they allow that moment to change the way they viewed 231 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,280 everything after it? Could you imagine if they then 232 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,960 came across these 12 Oasis and they said, I know what water's 233 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:32,160 like out here, so I'll never go along yet again? 234 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,560 Sometimes we do this. I'll never be in a relationship 235 00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:36,960 again. I know what they're like. 236 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:38,760 Oh, I'll never trust a friend again. 237 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:42,200 I know what that's like. I'll never go to church again. 238 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:44,600 I know what Christians are like. Well, they're really just like 239 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:48,680 people. Jesus didn't trust people. 240 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:51,760 That's according to Scripture. Said he knew all about them, but 241 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:55,680 man did he love them. Bitterness begins because we had 242 00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:58,000 pain that happened and we never learned to release it to the 243 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,240 Lord and get healing. The tragedy is that not every 244 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,120 bitter moment has to lead to a bitter life. 245 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,040 So let's talk about that. What does bitterness do? 246 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:06,560 Well, the first thing it does is bitterness. 247 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:11,280 Keeps old wounds alive. Keeps old wounds alive. 248 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:16,720 Could you imagine if you had to carry every wound for the rest 249 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,040 of your life, the way that it felt when you first received it? 250 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,520 How many of you have had surgery before just to show hands? 251 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:25,440 Some sort of surgery? OK, aren't you glad you don't 252 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:28,560 feel right now the way that you did immediately following 253 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:32,120 surgery? Praise God for that. 254 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:36,280 Why do we do it in our soul? We carry it just like it 255 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:39,800 happened. How many of us have something 256 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,760 that's happened to us that we could go back and we could 257 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:44,640 relive it and we would feel it like it was happening in real 258 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:46,800 time? If you want to see what happens 259 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:49,320 when someone never lets a wound heal in the Bible, you don't 260 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:52,080 have to look much further than the very first king that Israel 261 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:55,280 ever had, King Saul. We'll be in First Samuel chapter 262 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:58,760 18, just a few verses. But Saul didn't start as a 263 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:00,160 bitter man. If you read his story, he 264 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:02,760 started as a very humble man. He, he doesn't even think that 265 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,680 he belongs on the throne and God chooses him. 266 00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:07,040 And so he hides amongst the baggage because he's afraid to 267 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,480 embrace the responsibility that he's been given. 268 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,200 And then we have this little thing happen. 269 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,200 I don't know if you remember the story of David and Goliath. 270 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:18,600 David takes down a giant, by the way, he takes down a giant that 271 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:22,200 Saul wasn't willing to fight. The best Saul was willing to do 272 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,920 was to look at David and say, here's my armor. 273 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:27,160 Why don't you wear it? And David said, I'm not used to 274 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:28,760 that. I can't fight it your way. 275 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,320 It's a great lesson in that you can't fight battles the way 276 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:32,720 somebody else would. You have to fight it the way 277 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,400 that the Lord equips you. Different sermon for a different 278 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:39,400 day, but listen to this starting in verse five of First Samuel 279 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,680 18. Whatever Saul asked David to do, 280 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:44,200 David did it successfully. That should make Saul happy. 281 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,560 I would think. So Saul made him a commander 282 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:49,680 over all the men of war, an appointment that was welcomed by 283 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,920 the people and Saul's officers alike. 284 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:56,360 When the victorious Israelite army was returning home after 285 00:14:56,360 --> 00:15:00,560 David had killed the Philistine, women from all the towns of 286 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:04,280 Israel came out to meet King Saul, and they sang and danced 287 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,160 for joy with tambourines and cymbals. 288 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:10,080 This was their song. Saul has killed his thousands 289 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:14,120 and David his ten thousands. It never says they were good 290 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,440 songwriters, right? But the music industry was in 291 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:18,880 its infancy. OK? 292 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:23,800 This made Saul very angry. What's this? 293 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:25,360 He said? They credit David with 10 294 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,640 thousands and me with only thousands. 295 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,600 Next they'll be making him their king. 296 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:33,840 It's a little foreshadowing. So from that time on, Saul kept 297 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:36,160 a jealous eye on David. Just last week, we talked about 298 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,560 jealousy and envy. We talked about how it's the sin 299 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:41,600 behind comparison. What was the first line in the 300 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:44,560 song? Saul has killed his thousands, 301 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,560 thousands. It's impressive. 302 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,520 And he was not willing to go against that giant. 303 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:52,640 Can you not give credit where credit is due? 304 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,280 Saul actually deserves some of the credit because he allowed 305 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:58,600 David to go. He could have told David no, but 306 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,000 he can't rejoice in the success of somebody else. 307 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:04,520 So this bitterness, this bitterness that's dwelling up in 308 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:09,680 him is going to lead down a a dark road. 1 sentence, one 309 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:14,240 comparison here, just one wound to Saul's pride and the women 310 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,840 that were singing it. They weren't trying to start a 311 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:18,080 civil war. I'd venture to say it was a 312 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:19,960 matter of national pride for them too. 313 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:22,960 They're excited about what God is providing. 314 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,840 So they're they're singing. God has provided for us. 315 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:28,880 Saul's done great things. And man, did you just check out 316 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:32,040 what David did? He just took down a giant. 317 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:35,960 I think it's worth celebrating. But you know, what's really sad 318 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,440 is that Saul could not hear God's victory because all he 319 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,200 could hear was his own insecurities. 320 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:44,680 Sometimes God is doing amazing things in our lives, in the 321 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:47,360 lives of people around us, and we can't see them, hear them. 322 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:50,840 We can't perceive them at all because all we can keep our eyes 323 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:53,800 and our ears and our hearts and our souls and our minds locked 324 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:57,800 on is what we view as something that's injustice. 325 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:01,520 Bitterness has a way of freezing us. 326 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,920 In time. Everybody else moves on, but we 327 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,680 don't, and we keep replaying the conversation and reliving the 328 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:08,839 betrayal and rehearsing the conversations. 329 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:11,440 What should have been said? Oh, if I could go back and have 330 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:12,720 that conversation, here's what I'd say. 331 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:14,280 Now I'd give them a piece of my mind. 332 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:19,640 The saddest part of Saul's story to me is that his life slowly 333 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:22,079 stopped being about God's calling and started being about 334 00:17:22,079 --> 00:17:25,079 David. I really want you to hear this. 335 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:31,160 Saul's life became about David from that point on. 336 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,640 You see him plotting and trying to figure out how to take David 337 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,760 off the map, how to take him out, how to kill him. 338 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,320 When he talks to his own son, Jonathan, he can't talk about 339 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:44,600 anything. But David, for you and I, when 340 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:47,160 we get caught up in bitterness over something that has been 341 00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:51,280 done to us by somebody else, at least a part of our life becomes 342 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,280 about them. And it's probably the last thing 343 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:55,920 you want. It's probably the last thing you 344 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:57,600 want to hear when it comes to something like this. 345 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,200 Because if they've already wounded you, you don't want to 346 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,800 give them a slice of your life. So why are you doing it? 347 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:07,520 Bitterness always steals so much more from us than we think it 348 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,240 will. It doesn't just keep old wounds 349 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,840 alive, it keeps us from living the life that God has placed in 350 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,520 front of us. And I wonder how many of us are 351 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,680 still sitting in a conversation that happened five years ago, or 352 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,920 something that a parent said to us growing up, or in a marriage 353 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:22,840 that ended. Or maybe we're sitting in a 354 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,040 friendship that fell apart. Or maybe we're still thinking 355 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:28,040 back on a church that hurt us. Maybe it was just somebody who 356 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,520 betrayed our our trust. But the moment is over. 357 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:34,400 And now every new relationship is filtered through the old 358 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,080 wound. Every new opportunity is 359 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,000 evaluated through yesterday's pain. 360 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:44,120 Bitterness is dangerous. The hurt might have happened in 361 00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:46,360 the past, but bitterness refuses to leave it there. 362 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,160 Got a couple of illustrations just to drive this home. 1 is 363 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:52,360 for book fans and one is for movie fans. 364 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:55,800 So how many of you have read Great Expectations by Charles 365 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:59,160 Dickens? I I didn't figure I'd see a lot 366 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:01,640 of hands, right? Dickens was paid per word, so I 367 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,480 get it. I'd write the way that Dickens 368 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:06,200 wrote too, if I was getting paid per word. 369 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,920 But in it, there's a character named Miss Havisham. 370 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,600 On the morning of her wedding, she's abandoned by the man that 371 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:14,600 she loved. And I get it. 372 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,360 We've seen that in movies or TV shows many Times Now. 373 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,920 But for her, this was a devastating betrayal in the 374 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,640 book, what makes it so unforgettable is that she 375 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:25,040 freezes her life instead of moving forward, instead of 376 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,680 learning something. And here's what I mean. 377 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,000 She never takes off her wedding dress. 378 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:34,600 She leaves it on permanently. She leaves the wedding cake set 379 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:39,720 out to rot in place. And she purposely stops every 380 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:43,320 clock in her house at the exact moment that she learned of the 381 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:47,160 abandonment and the betrayal. Years passed, but if you were to 382 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,600 walk into her home, it would look like she was preparing for 383 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,560 a wedding, probably smell pretty bad. 384 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:55,160 But she's still locked into this moment. 385 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,680 Terrifying because emotionally, many of us are living in this 386 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,640 same house. And I get it. 387 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:01,960 I know I'm talked about Charles Dickens. 388 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,200 It's 2026, Let's talk about Star Wars. 389 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:08,720 All right, if you've ever seen Star Wars, there's a similar 390 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,600 story, believe it or not, in Anakin Skywalker. 391 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,600 Anakin didn't become Darth Vader overnight. 392 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,640 His transformation didn't begin with power. 393 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,480 He started as a little kid who was a bad actor, I'll say it, 394 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:25,440 the worst cast in The Phantom Menace. 395 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,800 And it didn't even start with a lust for power. 396 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:36,040 It began with pain. His story began with pain. 397 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:39,000 He was terrified of losing the people that he loved. 398 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:42,440 Can you relate to this? He's terrified of losing the 399 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,640 people that he loved. And so instead of surrendering 400 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,240 that fear to something greater, he held onto it. 401 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:52,720 And fear became anger, and anger became hatred, and hatred became 402 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,000 the very thing that transformed him into someone almost 403 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,480 unrecognizable. And that's exactly what 404 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,960 bitterness does. It'll make you a Sith Lord if 405 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:03,160 you let it. Maybe not, but it convinces you 406 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,280 that yesterday could still control today. 407 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:08,680 And before long, you're not even living in the present. 408 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,480 You're still living in what happened back then. 409 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,520 One of the reasons people love the story of Darth Vader is 410 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,720 that, and if you haven't seen it, I'm so sorry, Return of the 411 00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:20,760 Jedi came out like, what, 84? Something like that. 83. 412 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,920 OK, nerd. All right. 413 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:33,840 In the final moments of Darth Vader's life, he asked for the 414 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,360 mask to come off and he's finally Anakin again. 415 00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:39,080 He turns back to light, sacrifices himself to save his 416 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,240 son. Luke, destroys the Emperor. 417 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:47,240 So you think, thanks Disney, and he gets a moment of redemption. 418 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,400 And here's where Hollywood really does US dirty. 419 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,720 The problem is that your life is not a 2 hour movie. 420 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:55,600 And I think a lot of us assume that one day we're going to have 421 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,680 a cinematic moment. One day we're going to finally 422 00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,080 let go of that bitterness. One day we're going to let that 423 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:02,480 be used for good. And I would just ask you this, 424 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,600 why not let that be today? What? 425 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:07,760 What are you waiting for? You waiting for the third act? 426 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:09,080 Are you waiting for the deathbed scene? 427 00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:11,080 Because I'm just telling you, we don't all know when it's coming. 428 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:16,520 Just because you saw it happen in a Galaxy a far, far away a 429 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:20,840 long time ago doesn't mean that it's guaranteed to happen for 430 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:24,680 you. We don't know how much time we 431 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:25,560 have. We don't know how many 432 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,720 opportunities we'll get, and none of us are guaranteed one 433 00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:31,000 final moment. Psalm 147 three says this, that 434 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,000 God heals the broken hearted and bandages their wounds. 435 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:38,680 How many of y'all would love to claim that for you today that He 436 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,360 heals the broken hearted, He bandages their wounds. 437 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:43,280 So how do we close these old wounds? 438 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:44,920 How do we heal them instead of carrying them for years? 439 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,520 The first thing you have to do is, and this is specific, it's 440 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:48,960 not just recognize where the wound is. 441 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,240 I probably don't need to tell you that. 442 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:53,640 I want you to recognize how often you bring it up. 443 00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:58,560 Bitterness has a habit of replaying the old moments until 444 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,000 they become more real than the present. 445 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,920 What is it you have trouble letting go of? 446 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:04,680 Who betrayed you a long time ago? 447 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,320 And when you see them, it's instantly what pops up, 448 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,880 Instantly what comes up. Or maybe not even when you see 449 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:12,760 them. How often does it come up? 450 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:14,960 Think about the negative experiences you've gone through 451 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,720 that come up the most. Now if you just walk through 452 00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:19,640 trauma or tragedy, I get it. It's recent, but I'm talking 453 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:20,760 about something that's in the past. 454 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,400 How often does it come up? And you may say, well, I'm 455 00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:24,880 remembering it. You can't forget the past. 456 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:26,760 You ever hear that saying those who forget the past, they're 457 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,560 doomed to repeat it. I get it. 458 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,640 I would just ask you, are you remembering so you can heal from 459 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,880 it? Or are you remembering because 460 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,240 you've become attached to the pain? 461 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:40,200 A lot of people become their identity in in how they were 462 00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:42,400 victimized. The second step is you have to 463 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:46,360 stop feeding the wound. And this means while every wound 464 00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:48,880 does need attention in order to heal, bitterness keeps feeding 465 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,920 the wound itself instead. Could you imagine if instead of 466 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:55,520 putting a Band-Aid on a scrape, you got a handful of like, I 467 00:23:55,880 --> 00:24:01,000 don't know, mud, toilet water, I don't know, just rub it in there 468 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,520 and see what happens. What do you think is going to 469 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:05,200 happen? It's going to get infected. 470 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:07,680 The wound is going to grow because you're feeding the wound 471 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,880 instead of the body. But a lot of us do this. 472 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,320 How do we do this? Instead of looking for people 473 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:17,520 that will help us heal, we go to someone so we can replay it and 474 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:20,720 hear that we were indeed the victim, that we were indeed 475 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:22,960 wounded. You already know you were 476 00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,320 wounded. You don't need somebody else to 477 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:28,320 confirm it unless you're just looking to feel good for a 478 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,400 moment. Any attention feels OK when 479 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:33,480 you're not sure of who you are. But at that point, eventually 480 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:34,880 you're no longer nurturing healing. 481 00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:37,920 You're nurturing bitterness. Whatever you feed is going to 482 00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:39,000 grow. And the last thing I would tell 483 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,600 you, and it's probably the hardest one, it's just trust God 484 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,800 with justice. It's one of the hardest truths 485 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:46,600 in Scripture is that forgiveness, It doesn't mean 486 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:47,800 pretending nothing ever happened. 487 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:49,480 It's just releasing the right to be the judge. 488 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,120 And you may say, well, I'm the one that was wronged. 489 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:53,040 I have the right to judge. OK. 490 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:55,960 But first of all, you can't do it in a righteous way. 491 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:59,520 And second of all, judgement from God is probably going to 492 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,400 sting a little bit more than judgement from you. 493 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,440 It just means that God sees what happened, God cares what 494 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,840 happened, and God is incapable of doing the wrong thing. 495 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,200 So because of that, why not let him? 496 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,000 Have you ever misjudged somebody and then you felt like you had 497 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,880 to try and fix the misjudgment that you made? 498 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:21,440 Well, there was a problem in the past, and now you just made a 499 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,040 new problem. And it's like this endless 500 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:28,360 cycle. Scars may remain in your life. 501 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:30,120 And I want you to know that closing wound doesn't mean 502 00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:31,560 there's going to be no evidence of it. 503 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:35,360 Scars are, according to the Goo Goo Dolls, they're souvenirs 504 00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:38,960 that you never lose, so you can remember that it's there. 505 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,240 And scars are there. And sometimes scar tissue hurts 506 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,600 too, but not like the open wound. 507 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:46,720 What would you rather have, a reminder of something that you 508 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:51,320 survived or an open wound? It doesn't just affect you 509 00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,400 though, either. Bitterness is contagious. 510 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:57,440 It's actually highly contagious. She remembers. 511 00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:59,560 Like isn't the craziest thing. Six years ago was COVID, 512 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,920 remember one day, I mean, Pastor Tom was the lead pastor here. 513 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:05,760 I was his associate. But the whole staff, we were 514 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:08,200 getting ready for service and we were like, oh, we've been 515 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,000 hearing about COVID. But here, here we posted a 516 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,160 picture of all of us with Lysol and masks. 517 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:13,520 We were like, we did a deep clean. 518 00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:16,000 So it's going to be great. And then the numbers exploded in 519 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,400 two days after that. And we went, oh, there's no in 520 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:21,320 person church on Sunday, right? And then we were shut down. 521 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:24,000 I think we were only shut down maybe about 5 weeks, six weeks. 522 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:25,400 We were in the first ones to reopen. 523 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:26,760 But you know what else I remember? 524 00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:33,080 Everybody lost their mind. Some people said wash your food 525 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:36,320 in bleach. Yeah, some people said wash it 526 00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:39,560 with bleach. Some people, Some people were 527 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:42,680 wearing 2 layers of masks. Very good for the lungs. 528 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,520 I remember watching, I saw one time I saw somebody driving down 529 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:48,520 the the road in their car and all their windows were up and 530 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,760 their mask was on. And I just thought, who are you 531 00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:56,760 protecting yourself from? And then we got up to a stop 532 00:26:56,760 --> 00:27:00,160 light and I watched them pull their mask down and puff on 533 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:03,640 their cigarette and roll the window down and blow it out the 534 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,440 window and put the window back up and move their mask up. 535 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,480 Guys, we do not know what is good for us. 536 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:15,120 We don't know what we're doing. And I'm not saying coronavirus 537 00:27:15,120 --> 00:27:16,480 wasn't a real thing. I know people that were 538 00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:17,520 impacted. I know people that were 539 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:19,160 hospitalized. I know people that were, you 540 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:20,760 know, that that lost their life during it. 541 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,120 I mean, so it happens, happens with a lot of illnesses. 542 00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:25,080 I'm just saying when something happened and we panicked, we 543 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:26,240 didn't know what we were going to do, right? 544 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:33,920 But this is the thing, we're here today, So what are we going 545 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,040 to do? COVID changed a lot of 546 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:37,720 industries. It changed church. 547 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,280 We weren't even live streaming before COVID. 548 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:44,480 And at that point we said, well, I guess we better start live 549 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,160 streaming. Some people never came back to 550 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,360 church. Some people are more comfortable 551 00:27:49,360 --> 00:27:52,240 not being physically present in the midst of community. 552 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,280 And if you're watching, I'm not casting judgement. 553 00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:56,400 I'm just telling you there's so much beauty and being able to 554 00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,240 meet other people who love the Lord and you can serve alongside 555 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:00,480 them. And we're going to have a big 556 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:01,480 push. We're going to be telling you 557 00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:03,800 about small groups and different ways that you connect with 558 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,600 people. Look, I'm not going to be there, 559 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:08,000 but I mean, there's a ladies informational meeting today. 560 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:12,880 It's like 15 or 20 minutes. Go to the meeting, not the guys. 561 00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:15,520 Don't make it weird, OK? Right. 562 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,240 If your spouse wants to go and you're like, well, we had one 563 00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,320 car or other way, just sit in the car for 15 minutes. 564 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,600 It's fine. It's like 3 songs, OK? 565 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,520 Do what it takes to connect with people who are going to help you 566 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,040 connect with the Lord, and we'll talk about why that matters in a 567 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,040 minute. I want you to know this. 568 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:35,200 As contagious as viruses are, your bitterness is contagious 569 00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,840 too. You might think of bitterness as 570 00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,200 something personal and assume it's a private struggle between 571 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,040 the person who caused the wound and us. 572 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,160 But Scripture paints a different picture. 573 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:46,080 Once you think about Saul, We just talked about him. 574 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,960 His bitterness started out with David, but it didn't end there, 575 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,640 because Jonathan lost his relationship with his father 576 00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:55,120 because of Saul's bitterness, which couldn't be contained. 577 00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,240 If all you can talk about is who you're bitter with with your 578 00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:00,560 kid, your kids remember it, and they also remember how literally 579 00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:05,720 you're interested in their life. The soldiers of Israel were 580 00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:07,840 forced to spend their time chasing David through the 581 00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:09,800 wilderness instead of fighting Israel's enemies. 582 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:12,120 Is that not one of the stupidest things when you look back on it? 583 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,920 Even saw himself became a shell of the man he was at the 584 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:17,760 beginning of his kingship. Why? 585 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:21,640 Because of 1 unresolved wound and it slowly affected everyone 586 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:25,120 connected to him. It's why the writer of Hebrews 587 00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:30,720 says this in Hebrews 12/14 work at living in peace with 588 00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:32,320 everyone. I'm so glad he uses the word 589 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:33,960 work. If you ever felt like man, this 590 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:35,480 is a, this is like a full time job. 591 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,120 God. Yeah, it's work. 592 00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:41,720 Work at living in peace with everyone and work at living a 593 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:45,680 holy life for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. 594 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:50,800 And listen to verse 15. Look after each other so that 595 00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:53,400 none of you fails to receive the grace of God. 596 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,720 This grace we're talking about. Is it possible that some people 597 00:29:56,720 --> 00:30:00,080 in this room might fail to receive the grace of God? 598 00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:05,720 Absolutely it is. Watch out that no poisonous root 599 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:07,640 of bitterness grows up to trouble you. 600 00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:13,040 Corrupting many. Do you notice that phrase at the 601 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,200 end? Corrupting many? 602 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:17,960 The writer doesn't say. Watch out for that root of 603 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:22,880 bitterness that might defile one person says corrupt many. 604 00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:25,640 That's the nature of a root. Roots don't stay in one place. 605 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:27,480 They keep growing. They go deeper, they spread 606 00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,400 underground and they begin affecting everything around 607 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:31,000 them. So I would just ask you a couple 608 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,760 questions. Do you love your friends? 609 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,800 Do you love your family? Because bitterness works in the 610 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:38,440 same way. It starts in one heart and it 611 00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:41,280 doesn't stay there. Paul gives us a warning in the 612 00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:44,080 book of Ephesians chapter 4 verses 31 and 32. 613 00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:47,560 He says get rid of all bitterness, that would be 614 00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:50,360 enough, but I want you to hear the company he places bitterness 615 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:51,920 next to just in case. You're like, well, bitterness 616 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:56,280 isn't that big of a deal. OK, Get rid of all bitterness, 617 00:30:56,400 --> 00:31:02,120 rage, anger, harsh words and slander as well as all types of 618 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:05,600 evil behavior. Instead, he gives you the 619 00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:08,840 alternative. Be kind to each other, tender 620 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:11,800 hearted, forgiving one another just as God through Christ has 621 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,760 forgiven you. You don't have to forgive 622 00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:14,920 somebody who's not wrong, do you? 623 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,960 Do you? You've been really kind to me. 624 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,120 You've been really nice. I just want to forgive you for 625 00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:22,360 that. We don't do that. 626 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:27,920 He says instead of being bitter, be kind and forgive them. 627 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:31,440 What he's saying there is, yeah, I'm sure you have been wronged. 628 00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:34,640 Forgive them. Don't let it stay. 629 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:38,960 Don't let it grow. One of the things that I was 630 00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,560 able to learn about the things that I was bitter of is some of 631 00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:43,520 my friends and some of the people closest to me in that 632 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:46,840 season I would talk to. And they were like, man, you're 633 00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:48,920 still struggling with this. You, you bring this person up a 634 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:51,680 lot, don't you? And at first I'm like, no, I 635 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:58,120 don't while simultaneously thinking I do I do. 636 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,880 I love the way Paul word worded that because bitterness isn't 637 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:03,640 listed by itself. He puts it along with a lot of 638 00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:06,360 things that are hard to defend. Bitterness you might be able to 639 00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:08,200 defend, but the others you can't. 640 00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:11,080 And bitterness as a way of producing all of those things, 641 00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:14,520 rage, slander, all sorts of things. 642 00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:17,760 Have you ever noticed that the longer you hold onto a wound 643 00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:22,920 that your patients gets thinner? Somebody may make one joke and 644 00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:25,880 you just snap at it. I remember Cassie and I work in 645 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:30,120 one time, one place and, and she, she was a little sexist 646 00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:33,920 back in the day and she would, well, you'd make a lot of man 647 00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:37,120 jokes to me, right? And because that, and I would, I 648 00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,800 would make woman jokes to her. And it was just our way of like 649 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:41,680 flirting and just being sarcastic with each other. 650 00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:44,080 And we weren't worried about it. And then as we left the, the 651 00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:45,680 workplace, she was not ever sexist. 652 00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:47,680 I just want to make that clear. As we were leaving the 653 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:52,040 workplace, there was a, a salesperson there who said, I 654 00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:53,400 hope that you treat her a whole lot better. 655 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:55,960 And I went, what are you talking about? 656 00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:57,800 She said, I heard the jokes that you make to her. 657 00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:59,600 And I went, Oh, that's, that's our thing. 658 00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:02,320 It was, it was the stupid one. Like why do women have such 659 00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:04,200 small feet? So they can stand closer to the 660 00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:07,200 stove and like stupid things like this, right. 661 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:10,960 And I want to be very clear, didn't mean it at all, didn't 662 00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:12,480 mean it at all. But we would say these things to 663 00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:15,920 each other just to be silly. And, and so when she's like, I 664 00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:17,640 hope you treat her better. And I'm like, no, we're just 665 00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:19,040 joking. And she said, yeah, well, I've 666 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:22,160 been in, I've been in like a couple of abusive marriages and, 667 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,080 and I wouldn't stand for that. So here's the thing. 668 00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:28,840 It's not just us we're talking, but we're speaking around other 669 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,080 people. She's got a history that I'm 670 00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:35,800 unaware of until this moment. Her filter is still there. 671 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:37,120 She's walked through some things. 672 00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:40,120 There's bitterness there. And I'm not dogging her for it. 673 00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:42,360 I understand that we've all got something there. 674 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,280 And in that moment, all I could just tell her is, well, I'm so 675 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:46,720 sorry, I didn't know that. And I didn't mean to negatively 676 00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,840 affect you, you know, with that. And I just make the jokes to her 677 00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:53,640 in private now. But at the beginning of this 678 00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:56,120 message, I asked Pastor Autumn to squeeze all those lemons into 679 00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:57,720 the pitcher. They're sour. 680 00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:00,560 Their faces indicated that I wasn't making that up. 681 00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:04,240 And if you think about it, if this pitcher is Pastor Autumn, 682 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:06,880 and look at look at all these things that have happened to 683 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,760 her, right? They've all gone in there. 684 00:34:10,679 --> 00:34:12,120 This is not actually Pastor Autumn either. 685 00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:16,440 But I want you to know this. This would be pretty nasty to 686 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:19,199 drink, don't you think? But maybe the lemon was. 687 00:34:19,199 --> 00:34:21,600 Maybe the lemon was just there. Maybe this one will be better. 688 00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:28,600 That looks clean. No, maybe this one. 689 00:34:30,159 --> 00:34:31,440 Oh, that one's got all the seeds in it. 690 00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:35,120 So here's the thing, I want you to understand this. 691 00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:37,679 If this is your life and these lemons are the things that have 692 00:34:37,679 --> 00:34:42,280 happened to you, these people, they represent all of those who 693 00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:46,080 are closest to you. Maybe this is your spouse, it's 694 00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:48,480 got the most of your energy. Maybe these are your kids, these 695 00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:50,520 are your Co workers, your friends or whatever. 696 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:53,880 It's not a question of if you impact the people that you love 697 00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:56,360 because you do. And you may say, no, I don't 698 00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:57,680 make a difference in anybody's life. 699 00:34:59,240 --> 00:35:01,120 To use a term from the 20s, that's bull roar. 700 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:07,280 OK, listen, you do pour into somebody's life and you do leave 701 00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:09,720 a mark. The question is not if you pour 702 00:35:09,720 --> 00:35:11,600 into their life. The question is, what are you 703 00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:15,040 pouring into their lives? And don't hear what I'm not 704 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:18,160 saying because I'm not telling you not to ever go to them and 705 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:20,440 talk to them about your bitterness, or to talk to them 706 00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:23,040 about your struggles, or to talk to them about your wounds. 707 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:24,920 It's important. Choose your people. 708 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:28,760 Choose your circle carefully. But when you talk about it, do 709 00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:32,400 it for a purpose. Don't do it just because you 710 00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:36,600 want to feel seen by it. Once you feel seen, if you trust 711 00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,960 them enough to see you, trust them enough to help you figure 712 00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:43,360 out what to do with this. Personally, I think this should 713 00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:47,800 just be dumped down the drain. It's the same thing though. 714 00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:50,840 Whatever you allow inside of you eventually is going to pour into 715 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:56,200 the lives that you intersect with any of these glasses. 716 00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:59,640 Escape the sour or the bitterness, not one of them. 717 00:36:00,240 --> 00:36:02,880 So don't assume that somebody in your life is untouched by it, 718 00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:05,760 because they're not. One of the most helpful 719 00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:07,800 questions I think you could ask yourself is this. 720 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:11,320 It's not am I bitter? I know that that may seem like 721 00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:13,880 an obvious one, but a much harder question is just who's 722 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:16,640 drinking from the pitcher, right? 723 00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:20,800 Who, who, who am I pouring into? Once you know that, I would just 724 00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:22,760 tell you the truth is a lot of us spend all of our energy 725 00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:25,080 thinking about the person who wounded us and very little time 726 00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:28,000 thinking about the people who are living with our response to 727 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:31,640 that wound. Who's having to help carry that? 728 00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:36,320 Who's having to shoulder the weight when you start spouting 729 00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:37,800 off at it. So that would be the first thing 730 00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:40,560 I would tell you is just think more about the people that you 731 00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:43,720 are pouring into, the innocent bystanders, if you will, the 732 00:36:43,720 --> 00:36:46,560 people who weren't even there when it happened, but now it's 733 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:49,000 their problem. You ever had a moment where 734 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,840 somebody came to you and they just like, they just dumped some 735 00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:54,160 of the hardest things and then they looked at you and they 736 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,200 said, man, I feel a whole lot better now. 737 00:36:56,720 --> 00:36:58,400 And then you think, well, that's great because I feel like 738 00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:02,320 garbage. It's OK, sometimes it happens 739 00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:07,040 like that, but it's not really meant to be like that because 740 00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:10,480 somebody like that is going to get sour and bitter again and 741 00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:12,760 they're going to have to get it all out all over again to 742 00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:15,320 someone else. Or maybe you again, sucker, 743 00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:18,520 listen to this. Maybe your spouse didn't cause 744 00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:20,520 the hurt, but they're living with your shorter temper. 745 00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:24,640 Maybe they're living with your growing cynicism or the walls 746 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:26,560 that you've built to keep yourself from ever being hurt 747 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:28,160 again. Maybe your Co workers or your 748 00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:31,360 closest friends have become the recipients of the pain that they 749 00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,240 never caused. One of the first steps towards 750 00:37:34,240 --> 00:37:37,240 healing is just asking who's paying the price for this wound 751 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:40,600 because somebody is. Second thing I think I would 752 00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:42,560 tell you is just this. You have to recognize that every 753 00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:44,720 single one of us is writing a story that somebody else is 754 00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:47,680 going to inherit. When you complain about what 755 00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:51,400 happened with somebody, you are painting a picture of them to 756 00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:55,120 somebody else and they may not have a valid picture of them to 757 00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:57,640 start with. And so maybe you grew up hearing 758 00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:00,160 your parents talk about another family member and so you just 759 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:01,760 learned to stay away from that family member. 760 00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:08,800 Or maybe maybe you just had that happen about an ex-spouse of 761 00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:11,240 theirs or a former employer or maybe even a church that they 762 00:38:11,240 --> 00:38:13,440 left. And before you know it, when you 763 00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:15,440 meet those people yourself, you've already learned how to 764 00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:17,480 feel about them and you haven't even had a chance to build a 765 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,000 relationship. That's how bitterness works. 766 00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:24,480 It reproduces itself and and it keeps going unless somebody 767 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:26,800 interrupts the cycle. It's not that justice doesn't 768 00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:28,640 matter, it's just that we're not the ones that can hand it out. 769 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:31,560 And the last thing I think I would just tell you is that we 770 00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:33,640 all need people in our lives that are able to tell us the 771 00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:34,880 truth. And one of the hardest parts 772 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,720 about bitterness is that the longer you carry it, the less 773 00:38:37,720 --> 00:38:40,320 you notice it and the more defensive you get when somebody 774 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:43,720 brings it up. Find solid truth tellers and 775 00:38:43,720 --> 00:38:46,720 place them in your life. I'm going to tell you that 776 00:38:46,720 --> 00:38:50,280 sounds really good and it sounds brave until they do it. 777 00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:54,640 Until they do it. For those of y'all that are in 778 00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:57,040 the Conquer Ministry, I mean, I know that you have this. 779 00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:58,760 I know that you give people permission for that. 780 00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:01,440 I'm just telling you, for those of you that are Christians, you 781 00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:05,600 need people that you have looked at and said if I'm ever off the 782 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:08,880 track, call me out. And then when they call you out, 783 00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:14,360 don't get mad at them and bitter like it's not even his business. 784 00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:16,880 Thanks a lot, Jay. I'm a go over here. 785 00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:21,040 I'll let you could be a truth teller in my life. 786 00:39:21,240 --> 00:39:22,960 I just I only want you to tell me the truth when it's 787 00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:27,880 convenient for me. OK, Is that well, that that 788 00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:32,280 ain't the one. But but I'm just telling you 789 00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:37,240 like that is what we look for. We want people that love us 790 00:39:37,240 --> 00:39:39,640 enough to tell the truth. We just also want to get away 791 00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:42,360 with the with the things that we want to as well. 792 00:39:43,720 --> 00:39:46,360 The reality is this, everyday you're pouring yourself into 793 00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:48,480 somebody else. It's not whether or not you 794 00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,240 influence somebody. The question is whether they're 795 00:39:50,240 --> 00:39:52,880 receiving the life of Christ that has been transforming you 796 00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,920 or the bitterness that you've allowed into your heart. 797 00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:59,200 I got 2 scriptures to share with you before we leave today, and I 798 00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,880 think it's worth asking why Bitterness is one of those open 799 00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:03,480 secrets. Why does the church tolerate it? 800 00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:06,040 Why do we let people walk around unhealed from wounds that 801 00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:09,080 happened years ago? It's not because Christians 802 00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:10,560 don't know that bitterness is wrong. 803 00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:14,160 You never hear it ever in a positive way when it comes to 804 00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:18,440 somebody's life. How you doing today, brother? 805 00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:20,200 Bitter and highly favored. How about you? 806 00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:23,440 Like nobody says it in a positive thing. 807 00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:25,440 We know it's bad, we don't want it. 808 00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:30,280 But bitterness is easy to justify, man, you'd you'd live a 809 00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:31,880 lot freer if you could just get rid of that. 810 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:34,960 Yeah, that's true. Anyway, I'm. 811 00:40:35,240 --> 00:40:38,200 I'm going to keep carrying it. We know what happened. 812 00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:40,160 We know who said it, who left, who betrayed us. 813 00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:42,400 We know who disappointed us. We don't want to be offensive to 814 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,520 people. So we validate their victimhood 815 00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:47,120 as much as we validate the wound. 816 00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:49,560 And this is the tightrope walk that we've got to do as 817 00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:51,960 believers when we are one of those trusted people. 818 00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:54,200 Yeah. I hate that that happened to 819 00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,160 you. How can I help you move past it? 820 00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:59,080 What do you need? Do you need to talk about it? 821 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:00,480 Do you need to get it off your chest? 822 00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:03,440 Do you need to just feel what it's like to be a normal guy or 823 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:05,160 a normal girl and just get out and do stuff? 824 00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:07,240 Do you need new friends? Do you need, do you need a 825 00:41:07,240 --> 00:41:08,720 hobby? Do you need to like what is it? 826 00:41:08,720 --> 00:41:12,240 You need to start getting your life back on track to let go of 827 00:41:12,240 --> 00:41:14,040 it. Everybody's a little different. 828 00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:19,640 The wound was real, but since it was real, sometimes we consider 829 00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:21,720 it to be reasonable to hold on to it forever. 830 00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:25,320 There's a story in the Old Testament I don't have time to 831 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:27,320 fully unpack, but I had to share it today. 832 00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:33,720 And it's the story of Ruth. And Ruth is married to the son 833 00:41:33,720 --> 00:41:38,560 of a woman named Naomi. And Naomi has two sons. 834 00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:41,320 They both die. One of her daughters in law 835 00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:42,520 leaves. And the other one says, I'm 836 00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:46,520 going to stay with you. And anyway, in in the book of 837 00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:49,280 Ruth, the very first chapter, starting in verse 19, just a 838 00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,640 couple lines here, it says the two of them continued on their 839 00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:53,760 journey and when they came to Bethlehem, the entire town was 840 00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:56,120 excited by their arrival. Is it really Naomi? 841 00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:59,280 So Naomi's been through trauma and tragedy and now she's come 842 00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:01,520 home. And so the women ask, is it 843 00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:03,840 really Naomi? And she says, don't call me 844 00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:09,600 Naomi, instead call me Mara, for the Almighty has made life very 845 00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:13,040 bitter for me. She says I went away full, but 846 00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:14,640 the Lord has brought me home empty. 847 00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:18,400 Why call me Naomi when the Lord has called me to suffer and the 848 00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:21,200 Almighty has sent such tragedy upon me? 849 00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:24,200 I don't want to be unfair to Naomi because her grief was 850 00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:25,880 real. She had just buried her husband 851 00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:29,000 and had buried both of her sons. She wasn't pretending that life 852 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,480 had not been painful. But you notice that she doesn't 853 00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:33,120 just say that life has been bitter. 854 00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:37,320 She's asking everyone else to identify her by her bitterness. 855 00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:41,360 She's asking everybody around her to identify her by her 856 00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:43,240 wounds and by what she's gone through. 857 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:45,920 And we may not say it out loud. We may not go to somebody and 858 00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:48,480 say, when you see me, I want you to remember that I went through 859 00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:52,200 a nasty divorce and I've lost people and I've been betrayed. 860 00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:53,920 And I want you to think of that when you see me. 861 00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:55,360 We would never say that to people. 862 00:42:55,720 --> 00:42:57,880 But when you continually bring it up and you ask them to 863 00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:00,080 rehearse it and you ask them to let you relive it, that's 864 00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:02,760 exactly what you're saying. You're saying, don't call me 865 00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:06,120 Bob, call me Mara because I'm bitter. 866 00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:09,480 I'm going to call you Bob. I looked at you right after I 867 00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:13,120 said that. Bob, listen, how many of us have 868 00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:15,000 done the same thing without ever changing our name? 869 00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:17,760 We've become the person that was betrayed, the one that people 870 00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:20,600 leave, the one who had a failed marriage, the one who got hurt 871 00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:23,800 by a church. We choose that as our identity. 872 00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:26,840 But I want you to hear what Jesus says about this in John 873 00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:28,240 chapter 8. He says this. 874 00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:31,640 He's speaking to the people who believed in him and he says, you 875 00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:34,720 are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings, 876 00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:39,360 and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. 877 00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:43,360 And they say, but we're descendants of Abraham. 878 00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:45,000 We've never been slaves to anyone. 879 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,120 What do you mean you'll be set free? 880 00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:51,000 See, Christians, believers of any era, we don't get it. 881 00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:54,920 And Jesus said, I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a 882 00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:58,480 slave of sin and bitterness. Make no mistake, it's a sin. 883 00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:01,880 He says a slave is not a permanent member of the family, 884 00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:05,080 but a son. Sun is part of the family 885 00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:08,320 forever. So if the sun sets you free, you 886 00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:10,520 are truly free. Some translations say who the 887 00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:15,440 sun sets free is free. Indeed, He says you can have a 888 00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:20,920 different identity. You can be set free, but you 889 00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:23,200 have to choose it. One of the greatest gifts that 890 00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,440 Jesus gives us is not that he pretends our wounds never 891 00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:26,640 happen. He gives us something that's 892 00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:28,640 even better. He'll give you a brand new 893 00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:30,560 identity that's greater than your deepest hurt. 894 00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:34,400 The world might define you as the one who's gone through a lot 895 00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:37,240 or by what has happened to you, but Jesus will define you by 896 00:44:37,240 --> 00:44:40,760 what he's done for you. And your past might explain part 897 00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:42,760 of your story, but it's not supposed to ever have the 898 00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:46,560 authority to change your identity unless you give it your 899 00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:49,480 authority. That's why I love Naomi's story. 900 00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:51,760 She does go to people and say call me bitter. 901 00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:54,800 But the book of Ruth doesn't end in chapter 1 either. 902 00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:58,000 Naomi thought that Mara Bitterness would be the last 903 00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:01,200 word over her life, but God wasn't done writing her story. 904 00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:04,920 The woman who believed she had come home empty would one day 905 00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:08,600 hold a grandson in her arms and she would become a part of the 906 00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:12,440 family line of King David, ultimately the family line of 907 00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:16,240 Jesus himself. God refused to allow bitterness 908 00:45:16,240 --> 00:45:19,240 to write the final chapter of her life, even if she was OK 909 00:45:19,240 --> 00:45:21,560 with it. I believe God wants to do the 910 00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:25,720 same thing for y'all. We're going to sing in a minute 911 00:45:25,720 --> 00:45:27,000 so, but you'll go ahead and stand up. 912 00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:29,400 I just want to say, maybe today is not about letting go of 913 00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:31,880 bitterness for you. Maybe it's just about refusing 914 00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:34,720 to let your deepest wound become what you think about the most. 915 00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:37,480 Maybe it's about believing that God is still writing your story 916 00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:40,200 and that there are many more chapters to come after this. 917 00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:42,880 The enemy would love for you to spend the rest of your life 918 00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:46,680 introducing yourself by your pain, and Jesus wants you to 919 00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:49,000 start introducing yourself by His grace instead. 920 00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:52,120 Just telling you, as believers, we can't afford to let 921 00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:54,920 bitterness be normal, and certainly not in the church. 922 00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:58,760 It might be an open secret, but it can't be an accepted secret. 923 00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:01,760 Next week we're going to talk about anger and how we justify 924 00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:05,480 it because if we could handle anger, we would never get better 925 00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:08,400 either. And that the truth, Father, we 926 00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:10,920 just release our bitterness to to the best of our ability. 927 00:46:11,720 --> 00:46:14,880 Some of us are releasing it with one hand and clenching onto it 928 00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:16,720 with another one. We're scared to find out who we 929 00:46:16,720 --> 00:46:19,160 are on the other side of it. But God, would you just simply 930 00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:21,720 rebuild our identity and show us who we are meant to be. 931 00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:25,320 Help us be identified by you, by your love, by your mercy, by 932 00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:28,080 your grace. And may we stop walking around 933 00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:30,000 with the wounds that the enemy wants us to carry. 934 00:46:30,240 --> 00:46:32,840 In the name of Jesus, everybody said Amen.