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Y'all go ahead and be seated. 
I'll ask for the care team to 

2
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come forward and tell you what 
care team, when you get up here,

3
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just go ahead and pass the 
baskets. 

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I'm not going to make everybody 
do a, a fresh prayer here. 

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I've got a prayer I want to do 
at the end of the service. 

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But man, first and foremost, I 
just want to thank, even though 

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he's not here, I want to thank 
Pastor Tom for coming and 

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sharing a, a word with us last 
week. 

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Tell you it's pretty cool. 1988 
is when he and his wife, Pastor 

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Marsha showed up here. 
That is the year that my wife 

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was born. 
So pretty cool. 

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That pretty cool. 
She said it's a big year for 

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Havelock. 
You know, it was the end of 2004

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when I stumbled in here. 
Not really sure what I was in 

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for, but really just looking for
help, just looking for Jesus. 

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And the cool thing is I found 
him, but I didn't just find him 

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because he made himself apparent
to me. 

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And I just find him because the 
pastor took time to pour into 

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me. 
I found him because of so many 

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people in the church community 
that took the time to invest in 

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my life. 
That really is the beauty of 

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church. 
And so I want to thank him for 

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for being here, you know, Excuse
me just a second. 

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Let me grab this. 
But at the same time, I think 

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it's really cool because the 
whole point of having Pastor Tom

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be here during that time frame 
was that we are built. 

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Our unity is built through 
generations. 

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I don't care how old you are and
I don't care how young you are. 

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You have a purpose in the 
Kingdom of God. 

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And I have talked to many people
that are a little bit older that

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say, well, I feel like I've 
already done everything I'm 

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meant to do. 
I don't really have a purpose 

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anymore. 
And my answer is, but you're 

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breathing. 
What do you mean you don't have 

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a purpose? 
You're alive. 

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You have things to do. 
At the same time, I've spoken to

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younger people that struggle and
say I haven't found my purpose 

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yet. 
I want to encourage you and tell

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you this today. 
Your purpose is normally under 

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an umbrella. 
It's not a laser pointer. 

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So your purpose is to contribute
to the greater good of the 

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Kingdom. 
And that manifests in all sorts 

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of different ways. 
If you really want to do a deep 

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dive, and we'll study it later 
through the year together, but 

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you can look in Ephesians 
chapter 4 and look at what they 

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call 5 fold ministry. 
Every single person is gifted to

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00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,320
build the Church of the Lord in 
some way. 

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And how that manifests, well, 
that's different. 

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00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,560
Not everybody is called to work 
at a church. 

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But today, as we talk about 
Built by Honor, we're going to 

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talk about the sneaky ways that 
it ends up integrating itself 

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into every believer's life. 
And we're going to start that by

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going to Numbers Chapter 12. 
Numbers Chapter 12. 

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That's pretty early on in the 
scripture. 

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But while you're turning there, 
let's talk about our hearts. 

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There's something about the 
human heart that doesn't always 

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tell the truth about itself. 
Have you ever noticed that it's 

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not out loud, at least, but our 
heart has a way of taking what's

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really going on underneath the 
surface and translating into 

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something that sounds more 
reasonable, more acceptable, and

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even more spiritual than it 
actually is. 

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And if we're not paying 
attention, we can live in that 

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space for a long time and never 
stop to ask what's really 

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driving the things that we say. 
And if you follow the Lord for a

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long time, this, this message is
especially for you because we're

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the ones that get really good at
spiritualizing the things that 

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we say. 
And it never starts as something

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that's obvious. 
It doesn't feel like sin at 

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first. 
It feels like a reaction. 

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It feels like a thought that 
makes sense, feels like a moment

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where we're trying to process 
something or explain something. 

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And then because it feels 
justified, we don't question it.

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We just let it move on from our 
thoughts into our words, and you

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can see that pattern play out in
story after story, even in 

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people in the modern era that we
recognize. 

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Today's a sermon about two fun 
words, gossip and edification 

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gossip. 
The surprises some people to 

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hear is not always false. 
A lot of times it's true. 

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A lot of times it's sharing a 
true fact with the wrong motive 

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or to the wrong person or for 
the wrong reason in the wrong 

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season, whatever it is. 
Edification isn't used a whole 

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lot, but it's a really great way
of encouraging and building 

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somebody up. 
And both of them are things that

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Scripture handles in a pretty 
weighty way. 

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Let's talk about some of these 
modern examples. 

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I used a more in depth 
illustration of this, I don't 

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know several months ago, but 
Lance Armstrong, he wasn't just 

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winning races, he was like a 
symbol of perseverance and 

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success. 
And you remember Livestrong, 

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Everybody had a Livestrong 
bracelet. 

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And, and for him, he started to 
have some some questions about 

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him, some accusations. 
And he didn't just deny them, 

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which is fine. 
If you didn't do something, you 

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00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,520
can deny it. 
But he became defensive and 

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00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:01,760
attacked. 
He went after the people making 

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00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,400
them. 
He went after teammates, he went

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00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:05,320
after journalists. 
He went after anybody who 

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00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,680
threatened what he built. 
And later on, when everything 

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00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:11,120
came out and he couldn't defend 
it anymore, one of the scariest 

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parts of his own thought was 
this. 

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He said he had quote reached a 
place where it didn't even feel 

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wrong anymore. 
You know what that means? 

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That implies that at some point 
it felt wrong, but then he got 

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to a place that it didn't feel 
wrong anymore. 

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That's a scary place to be. 
But most of us aren't 

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professional racers in the 
church world. 

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There have been a lot of leaders
and pastors and this was a very 

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famous one. 
And he's successful all over 

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again. 
But Pastor Mark Driscoll, and if

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you don't follow church news, 
that's all right. 

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00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,080
I'm going to give you the the 
cheat notes here. 

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Well, he was a pastor out in, 
in, in the Seattle area and he 

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had a church called Mars Hill. 
And he had a lot of accusations 

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for being overbearing and, and 
being domineering and destroying

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people through his words. 
And he spoke with conviction. 

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And he led really large 
ministries and their tagline for

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the church was it's all about 
Jesus. 

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And then when he left, every 
single one of the campuses 

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folded into a different church 
and it completely dissolved, 

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00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:11,400
meaning it wasn't really about 
Jesus when push came to shove. 

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But it didn't start that way. 
If you go back and you listen to

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early messages, it had a 
different tone than the later 

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messages. 
What is it about our heart that 

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we can get closer to Jesus, know
the Lord more, and still become 

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more self-centered over time? 
Most of us don't actually say 

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what's going on inside of us. 
Most of us, we might feel 

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overlooked so we start pointing 
out the flaws in somebody else. 

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Or we feel insecure, so we 
question somebody else's 

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leadership or decisions. 
We feel hurt, so we talk about 

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the situation in a way that 
makes us sound right and them 

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sound wrong. 
There's not one human being in 

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this building who hasn't done 
that at some point in their 

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life. 
Over time, other things begin to

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happen. 
We get used to it. 

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We get comfortable with it. 
We stop pausing long enough to 

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00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,040
ask what's really driving our 
words, and we start believing 

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00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:06,200
our own version of the story. 
And this happens in our 

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00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,240
marriages. 
It happens in our friendships, 

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00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:11,880
it happens on our teams, it 
happens in our offices, it 

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00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:17,000
happens in our churches. 
And so eventually, if we're not 

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careful, we reach a place where 
our conscience doesn't push back

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the way that it used to. 
What would have once bothered us

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doesn't feel heavy anymore. 
Have you ever felt that and then

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wondered why it doesn't bother 
you? 

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00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:32,640
I've been there in some wise 
words to his spiritual son, 

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00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:34,080
Timothy. 
Paul writes this in First 

147
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:36,200
Timothy 42. 
It's not in your notes, but if 

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00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,240
you want to write it down, it's 
First Timothy 42. 

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00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:41,360
He's talking about people like 
this, and he says these people 

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are hypocrites and liars and 
their consciences are dead. 

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00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,240
If you read an older 
translation, it may say that 

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00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:51,160
their conscience is anybody 
seared. 

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Seared, like applying heat to 
something, right? 

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00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:01,120
And so my mom has done so much 
cooking that she's got certain 

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00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:03,640
spots on her hand that have been
seared so many times. 

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00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:05,480
She'll pick up a hot plate and 
I'm like, don't do that. 

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00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:06,600
It's on. 
And she goes, ah, I don't feel 

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00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:10,720
anything now that's funny. 
Think about your heart. 

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00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,960
What happened so many times to 
your heart that you feel nothing

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00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:17,320
anymore, That when somebody is 
wounded, it doesn't even bother 

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00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:20,280
you. 
In the Greek, that's where you 

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00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,680
get something that translates a 
lot more like seared. 

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00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,840
And it's a hard thought to have,
but I just want you to know as a

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00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:29,360
believer, it is possible to keep
speaking and keep reacting and 

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keep explaining things away and 
slowly lose sensitivity to 

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00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,400
what's actually happening in 
your own heart. 

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00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:38,159
It's not because you want it to 
be that way, but when you stop 

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00:08:38,159 --> 00:08:40,720
examining it over time, there is
no other way to become. 

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00:08:42,039 --> 00:08:45,840
In Numbers 12, we see the 
complaints of siblings. 

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I just want you to know where we
are. 

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I mean, this is the formative 
years of all of the Israelites 

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and they're trying to establish 
themselves and become a nation. 

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And Moses is the one who's 
primary leading them. 

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00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:57,560
And, and during the Exodus, his 
brother has a pretty big role. 

175
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His brother is Aaron. 
And so Moses and Aaron have been

176
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,280
going out there. 
In fact, Moses said to the Lord,

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00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,400
I'm slow of speech. 
I'm not good at speaking. 

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00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,440
Can you have Aaron help me? 
And finally, God's like, all 

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00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:07,680
right, fine, Aaron can go with 
you. 

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00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,920
But Moses is the leader. 
Aaron comes with him and Miriam,

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00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,480
his sister, who, by the way, 
saved his life as a baby. 

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00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:16,160
I mean, so like, they've got 
some history. 

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00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:17,880
I don't have time to dive into 
all of it. 

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00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,840
She's there, and she's got a lot
of major contributions in the 

185
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:22,440
Old Testament too. 
And we're going to read the 

186
00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:25,320
entire chapter because I want 
you to get a good vibe for this 

187
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,840
and see if you pick up on what I
picked up on this year. 

188
00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:33,360
This chapter is entitled The 
Complaints of Miriam and Aaron. 

189
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:37,680
While they were at Hazaroth, 
Miriam and Aaron criticized 

190
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:39,840
Moses because he had married a 
Cushite woman. 

191
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:47,560
The nerve, they said, has the 
Lord spoken only through Moses? 

192
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:52,000
Hasn't he spoken through us too?
But the Lord heard them. 

193
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,240
Could you ever imagine? 
I want you to imagine like one 

194
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:56,800
of the rough thoughts you had 
over the last week. 

195
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,720
And I want you to imagine that 
the addendum there is. 

196
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:02,880
But the Lord heard her. 
But the Lord heard him. 

197
00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:07,360
Oh, OK. 
And then it says here, now Moses

198
00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,640
was very humble, more humble 
than any other person on earth. 

199
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,880
It's funny because for a long 
time this book was attributed to

200
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:14,920
Moses writing it. 
That's a weird thing to write 

201
00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:17,560
about yourself. 
But Moses did not write this 

202
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:19,120
book. 
This book was written many, many

203
00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:22,840
years after Moses passed. 
So immediately the Lord called 

204
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,920
to Moses, Aaron and Miriam and 
said, Go out into the 

205
00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:27,320
Tabernacle, all three of you. 
So the three of them went to the

206
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:30,200
Tabernacle, and then the Lord 
descended in the pillar of cloud

207
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,280
and stood at the entrance of the
Tabernacle. 

208
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:35,320
And he said, Aaron and Miriam, 
they stepped forward and the 

209
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,560
Lord said to them, Listen to 
what I say. 

210
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:40,680
If there were prophets among 
you, I, the Lord, would reveal 

211
00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:43,320
myself in visions. 
I would speak to them in dreams,

212
00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:47,080
but not with my servant Moses. 
Of all my house, he's the one I 

213
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,760
trust. 
I speak to him face to face 

214
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:53,880
clearly and not in riddles. 
He sees the Lord as he is. 

215
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:57,600
So why were you not afraid to 
criticize my servant Moses? 

216
00:10:58,520 --> 00:10:59,840
I want you to grab a hold of 
this. 

217
00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:01,480
He doesn't say. 
Why were you not afraid to 

218
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:05,600
criticize your leader? 
This story gets used a lot by 

219
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:09,040
spiritual leaders, pastors, and 
things like that to say don't 

220
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,080
ever come against the Lord's 
anointed one. 

221
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:13,480
Now, there is something to be 
said about having honor for 

222
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:14,720
authority. 
That's a that's a different 

223
00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,320
thing. 
Here he talks about Moses as his

224
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:20,600
servant. 
Somebody with a clear heart says

225
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,160
the Lord was angry with them and
he departed. 

226
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,400
And as the cloud moved from 
above the Tabernacle, there 

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00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,840
stood Miriam, her skin as white 
as snow from leprosy. 

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00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,080
When Aaron saw what happened to 
her, he cried out to Moses. 

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00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,160
Oh, my master, that must have 
been awkward. 

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00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,440
Please don't punish us for the 
sin that we've so foolishly 

231
00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:38,480
committed. 
Don't let her be like a 

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00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,520
stillborn baby already decayed 
at birth. 

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00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:44,280
It's descriptive. 
And Moses cried out to the Lord.

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00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:48,480
God, I beg you, please heal her.
And the Lord said to Moses, if 

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00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:51,000
her father had done nothing more
than spit in her face, wouldn't 

236
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,560
she be defiled for seven days? 
This is a call back to some 

237
00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:57,000
ancient laws about body fluids. 
So keep her outside the camp for

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00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,680
seven days. 
And after that, she may be 

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00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:00,400
accepted back. 
And of course, she is after 

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00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,800
seven days. 
I don't know if you picked up on

241
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:05,480
what I picked up on when I read 
this story earlier in the year, 

242
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,800
and it's all hidden in the very 
first 2 verses. 

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00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,240
It says that they criticized 
Moses because he had married a 

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00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:17,200
Cushite woman. 
In other words, it's personal. 

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00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:21,520
They don't like who he married 
for whatever reason, whether 

246
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:25,400
it's justified or unjustified. 
They don't approve of his own 

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00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,640
life decisions. 
And so they criticize him. 

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00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:31,600
And in verse 2, it says they 
said, has the Lord spoken only 

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00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,600
through Moses? 
Hasn't he spoken through us too?

250
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,760
But the Lord heard them. 
You notice that what they say 

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00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:42,680
isn't what they were feeling. 
They were upset because of his 

252
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:45,120
personal decisions. 
Now what they say when they 

253
00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:48,360
publicly criticize him is we've 
got just as much authority as 

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00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:53,080
the Lord too, as as Moses does. 
What comes out is what about us?

255
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,760
Don't we deserve attention? 
Why is it all there? 

256
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,040
Why didn't you just go to him 
and talk to him about his 

257
00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:01,040
marriage? 
And so because they had a hidden

258
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:04,360
issue, it came out in a way that
sounded better. 

259
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:06,640
It doesn't sound as good for 
them to go around the camp and 

260
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:08,200
say, what do you think about my 
brother's wife? 

261
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:13,560
That sounds like obvious gossip.
But here they're saying, hey, we

262
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:16,240
know Moses hears from the Lord, 
but what about us? 

263
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,640
And the Lord heard not only 
their words, the Lord heard 

264
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:24,160
their heart. 
Could you imagine, ladies and 

265
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:28,160
gentlemen, could you imagine if 
the Lord responded to every 

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00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:31,400
thought we had in our hearts the
way He responded in this story? 

267
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,040
Some of us, we'd be like, Lord, 
teach me to think less. 

268
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,160
I'm not looking to catch a 
judgement for this, right? 

269
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,800
The problem that happened here 
wasn't that they had an issue 

270
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,560
with Moses. 
Everybody's got opinions. 

271
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:49,600
The problem is they were 
dishonest, and it would appear 

272
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:53,040
that they were so dishonest with
themselves that they couldn't be

273
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,680
honest with the people in their 
own community. 

274
00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:00,480
What really stirred all of this 
wasn't a theological concern. 

275
00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:02,760
It's not a leadership issue. 
It was personal. 

276
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:05,520
It was something in Moses's life
that didn't sit right with them,

277
00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:07,920
something they didn't like. 
They didn't process it. 

278
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:11,240
They left it on the inside so it
stayed internal until it 

279
00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:13,400
couldn't anymore. 
And that's what happens to you 

280
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:17,200
and I Things bother us and we 
leave it on the inside until it 

281
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:18,760
can't stay on the inside 
anymore. 

282
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:21,480
And by the time it comes out 
now, it's some ugly, mutated 

283
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,240
monster. 
That's so far from what it would

284
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,840
have been if we would have first
discussed the thing that we had 

285
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:29,080
questions about. 
The whole theme about this 

286
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:32,360
uncommon Unity series is that 
the world tears each other 

287
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,240
apart. 
But it should not be so for the 

288
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:38,720
believers in the Kingdom of God,
the way that the world worries 

289
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:40,640
about themself. 
In the Kingdom of God, we're 

290
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:44,760
called to care about everybody 
else in the room, not just 

291
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:51,040
ourselves or our preferences. 
Moses looked at his brother and 

292
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,280
sister. 
And they didn't say we're 

293
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:53,960
struggling with this decision 
that you made. 

294
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,560
They said the Lord speaks 
through us too. 

295
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:01,400
God doesn't respond to how it 
sound if He responded to what 

296
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,760
was driving it. 
Miriam and Aaron believed that 

297
00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:07,400
they were saying something that 
made sense and they felt 

298
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,800
justified in it. 
In fact, we have no indication 

299
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,360
that anybody rebuked them over 
it. 

300
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,840
God heard something completely 
different from what they did. 

301
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:18,320
What they thought was a 
conversation God calls 

302
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:22,760
criticism, and what they thought
was a fair observation, God 

303
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:26,520
called sin. 
So the question that I would 

304
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,640
throw to you today before we 
ever unpacked this, what if some

305
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,680
of the things that we've said 
that felt right to us in the 

306
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,080
moment don't sound the same to 
God? 

307
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:40,320
Two weeks ago, two weeks ago, we
started this series with Built 

308
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:43,360
by Identity. 
Last week we had Pastor Tom, but

309
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:45,080
we started with Built by 
Identity. 

310
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,720
And that's where we were 
learning to prioritize what God 

311
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:52,280
values over what we naturally 
want, letting Him define who we 

312
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:55,280
are instead of building that 
identity ourselves. 

313
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,760
Many of us in this room today 
stood on this stage at the end 

314
00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:02,200
of that message to demonstrate 
our commitment to chasing what 

315
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:06,240
God wants over what we want. 
And now the challenge shifts. 

316
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:09,200
It's no longer just communal. 
Now it's going to be a challenge

317
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,880
that hits US internally because 
you can agree with God on your 

318
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:15,400
identity and still miss Him and 
how you treat people if you 

319
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:19,200
don't examine your own heart. 
This week is going to force us 

320
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,480
to look inward and to ask what's
actually driving our words and 

321
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,000
our conversations. 
There's a couple things that you

322
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,120
need to know about Honor. 
And the first thing is this. 

323
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:30,360
Before we ever talk about how to
actively honor somebody, Honor 

324
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:35,640
refuses to tear someone down. 
It refuses to tear someone down.

325
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:38,160
And yeah, that's coming from the
guy that says conflict means 

326
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:41,080
conversation. 
It's OK to have conflict. 

327
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,720
It's OK to have conversations. 
In fact, it's kind of mandatory 

328
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:45,960
to have both. 
But honor refuses to tear 

329
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,600
someone down. 
You can go and turn to First 

330
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,520
Samuel 24. 
That's where we'll be in a few 

331
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,840
minutes when you begin to 
understand what happened there. 

332
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,880
At that moment with Miriam and 
Aaron, you can realize the honor

333
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:58,480
isn't just about saying nice 
things. 

334
00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:02,400
There is an empty, vain form of 
flattery that you can do that 

335
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,280
actually does more harm than 
good. 

336
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:07,720
You can ask a lot of people who 
went to audition for American 

337
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,599
Idol about that. 
What do you mean I Can't Sing? 

338
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:15,760
All my friends told, OK? 
It's not just about saying nice 

339
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,440
things. 
It's about what you do with the 

340
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:19,520
opportunity to say something 
else. 

341
00:17:20,079 --> 00:17:22,040
What do you do when somebody 
Tees it up to you? 

342
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:24,200
What do you do when somebody 
makes a slightly critical 

343
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,200
statement about somebody that 
you don't have a positive 

344
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,319
opinion of? 
Do you take that as an 

345
00:17:28,319 --> 00:17:30,760
opportunity to say like, oh, let
me get this out. 

346
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:33,600
This is a safe place for me to 
get the ugly out? 

347
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:38,320
Or do you take that as an 
opportunity to say, do they know

348
00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:40,920
you feel that way? 
We're not going to go there. 

349
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:45,760
This is where that happens. 
It's not moments where 

350
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,360
everything feels easy, but honor
can be built in moments where 

351
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:52,040
you could speak, you could 
expose, you could justify 

352
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,640
yourself, and no one would blame
you for it. 

353
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:57,760
But hear me on this. 
Honor shows up most clearly when

354
00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,440
you have a reason not to give 
it. 

355
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,760
When somebody does something 
heroic, let's say they run out 

356
00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,080
in the middle of the street and 
they save a baby and a puppy at 

357
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:10,920
the same time, and then somebody
posts on Facebook because that's

358
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:14,760
the best place, right? 
I'm so proud of fill in the 

359
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,880
blank here. 
They saved a baby and a puppy 

360
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:20,760
today. 
Wow, that was really hard for 

361
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,880
you to honor, wasn't it? 
What about when you go out of 

362
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:27,040
your way to honor somebody, but 
you're also justified in not 

363
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:30,720
honoring them, and you choose to
find the honorable and honor it 

364
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:34,080
all the same? 
That's the best opportunity. 

365
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:37,440
What you're going to see here in
this scripture in First Samuel 

366
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:40,480
24 is not a small moment in the 
life of David. 

367
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:43,800
David is highly favored, highly 
anointed, and he's got people 

368
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,600
that are following him. 
He has been persecuted by King 

369
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:50,120
Saul, who is his father now, his
father-in-law, because he has 

370
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:53,120
married his daughter. 
He's best friends with King 

371
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:56,280
Saul's son, and now he's on the 
run because King Saul wants to 

372
00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,840
kill him. 
It's really great because that 

373
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,120
animated movie, David, I watched
it with the kids, and then I 

374
00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:03,920
read through this story with 
them a few weeks ago and the 

375
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:07,440
scriptures and my son goes, they
left a lot out of that kids 

376
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:08,280
movie. 
And I'm like, well, yeah, 

377
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,640
because then it wouldn't be a 
kids movie, right? 

378
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:13,880
The sequel, David and Bathsheba.
Just kidding. 

379
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:19,440
I want you to know where David 
is in this story. 

380
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:22,760
He's hiding in a cave, he has 
lost his position in the 

381
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:26,760
Kingdom, he's lost his comfort, 
he's lost his friends, he's lost

382
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:30,480
his normal life, and he's hiding
with a bunch of misfits that all

383
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:32,240
have an axe to grind with King 
Saul. 

384
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:35,320
Everything in this situation 
would justify him to be 

385
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,720
frustrated and bitter and to 
retaliate. 

386
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:41,280
If anyone had a reason to speak 
against someone or to undermine 

387
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:44,480
them, it was David. 
When it comes to King Saul and 

388
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:47,280
his whole community is 
exclusively people who don't 

389
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:51,800
like Saul. 
And then one moment you can see 

390
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,880
the shift. 
In the very first verse. 

391
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:57,040
It says after Saul returned from
fighting the Philistines, he was

392
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:59,400
told that David had gone into 
the wilderness of N Getty. 

393
00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:04,040
So Saul chose 3000 elite troops 
from all Israel. 

394
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:07,240
He was not playing around and he
went to search for David and his

395
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:08,800
men near the rocks of the wild 
goats. 

396
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:12,560
That's what N Getty means. 
At the place where the road 

397
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:16,040
passes some sheepfold, Saul went
into a cave to relieve himself. 

398
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:19,000
This is a lot of kids favorite 
story in kids church, just so 

399
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:22,120
you know. 
But as it happened, David and 

400
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:25,000
his men were hiding farther back
in that very cave. 

401
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,720
Man, isn't that crazy? 
A lot of times you think you're 

402
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:32,080
in private, but as it happened, 
now is your opportunity. 

403
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:35,680
David's men whispered to him. 
Today the Lord is telling you, I

404
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:39,440
will certainly put your enemy 
into your power to do with as 

405
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:42,160
you wish. 
So David crept forward and cut a

406
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,840
piece off the hem of Saul's 
robe. 

407
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:49,840
Pause. 
Now, most of us aren't going to 

408
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,760
sneak up behind somebody 
relieving themselves, certainly 

409
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,600
not out in the middle of the 
great outdoors. 

410
00:20:55,480 --> 00:21:00,600
OK, but how many times have you 
had a problem with somebody and 

411
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,480
then somebody who loves you 
genuinely, believes in you, 

412
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:05,880
genuinely comes up and is like, 
yeah, you know what? 

413
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:11,320
God probably did that so that 
you there's no indication that 

414
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:14,520
word came from the Lord. 
These are believers, you 

415
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:18,920
understand? 
Surely the Lord put him here so 

416
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:20,760
that you could do with him as 
you wish. 

417
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,520
And if you don't know the Lord's
voice for yourself, you'll say, 

418
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:29,760
yeah, he did. 
What do I wish to do in this 

419
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:32,960
situation? 
I also think he probably got a 

420
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:35,560
little bit of criticism from his
people because when he came 

421
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:37,480
back, he's like, guys, look, I 
got a piece of his robe and they

422
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:42,360
were like, you were supposed to 
stab him off with his head, not 

423
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:46,320
off with the hem of his garment.
OK, baby steps. 

424
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:50,360
I'm getting there. 
Listen, David is hidden in 

425
00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:52,480
darkness and Saul walks in 
alone. 

426
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,560
Doesn't this feel right? 
If you don't know how this story

427
00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,880
goes, it makes sense. 
It would solve everything. 

428
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,560
Isn't it funny how often we 
spiritualize offense? 

429
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:07,040
If this story went that Saul 
went into that cave and David 

430
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:10,240
took him down and then ascended 
to the throne, there's not one 

431
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,000
believer in here that would 
think anything of it. 

432
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,120
If that's the way the story had 
been written, we would say, 

433
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:16,720
well, I guess that was God's 
will then. 

434
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,200
And that's exactly what these 
people surrounding David 

435
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,640
thought. 
But it wasn't God's will, was 

436
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:24,480
it? 
Listen to this. 

437
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:28,640
In verse 5, David's conscience 
began bothering him because he 

438
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,800
had cut Saul's robe. 
I don't know if y'all are 

439
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,440
familiar fully with this story. 
Saul has more than once thrown 

440
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,840
Spears at him. 
He has bad mouthed him. 

441
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:40,080
He's chased him outside. 
He just got 3000 elite troops. 

442
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,760
OK, This is this is somebody's 
got the FBI hunting you down in 

443
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:49,560
the Croatan and then you dented 
their Buick and you're like, 

444
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:55,920
man, I can't believe I did that.
I'm mad at myself, OK? 

445
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,480
Even now, it's hard for me not 
to look at this and say, of 

446
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:01,960
course you did that. 
You had to do something. 

447
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,960
But there was something inside 
of David that recognized even 

448
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,800
this crossed a line of what? 
Honor. 

449
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:14,920
Honor. 
He honored the position even 

450
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:17,840
when he disagreed with it. 
And the men around him are still

451
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:19,240
whispering. 
They're still convinced to this 

452
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:21,080
moment. 
And David feels something that 

453
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:24,240
the people around him can't. 
He recognizes that just because 

454
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:28,960
he can doesn't mean he should. 
These are the moments that it is

455
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:32,080
most tangible and powerful to 
show honor. 

456
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:36,520
So in verse 6, David says to his
men, the Lord forbid that I 

457
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,560
should do this to my Lord the 
king. 

458
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:42,040
I shouldn't attack the Lord's 
anointed one, for the Lord 

459
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,560
himself has chosen them. 
And by the way, he did choose 

460
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,680
King Saul. 
So David restrained his men and 

461
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:51,400
did not let them kill Saul. 
That's telling, too, because, 

462
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:53,320
well, you know what that means. 
That means that the people 

463
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:56,160
around David said, you won't 
take them out, we'll do it. 

464
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:58,880
You don't even have to get your 
hands dirty. 

465
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,600
Well, as the story unfolds, 
David has no problem with blood 

466
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,120
on his hands, but they're like, 
we'll do it for you. 

467
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:07,640
And he wouldn't let them. 
You already see the system of 

468
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,160
honor here. 
Not only is he unwilling to 

469
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:13,120
dishonor Saul, he's unwilling to
let other people dishonor him. 

470
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:18,800
After Saul had left The Cave and
gone on his way, David came out 

471
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,880
and shouted after him. 
My Lord, the king. 

472
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:24,360
And when Saul looked around, 
David bowed low before him. 

473
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,040
Have you ever apologized to 
somebody that you don't like? 

474
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:34,160
It's the worst. 
And it's the best because on the

475
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,440
other side of it, if you do it 
with a pure motive, you feel 

476
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:42,280
clean, you get past yourself. 
But in the moment, oh, it's like

477
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,040
a mountain that you have to 
climb to get there. 

478
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:47,600
But David stops not only himself
but the other people around him,

479
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:50,680
and there's no indication of him
even capitalizing on these 

480
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:53,600
moments after this altercation. 
We have nothing in Scripture 

481
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:57,600
that says that he continued to 
tear down Saul after Saul left. 

482
00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,960
In fact, what we see here is he 
bowed to him. 

483
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,680
And as the story continues, I 
won't read more of it to you. 

484
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,480
But as it continues, Saul feels 
very moved. 

485
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:07,760
He says, man, you're better than
I am. 

486
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,120
I can't believe that you'd show 
me such great honor. 

487
00:25:10,120 --> 00:25:11,240
I'm sorry. 
I was hunting you. 

488
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,480
I won't do whatever again. 
Spoiler, he does it again. 

489
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:20,520
Here's the crazy thing, right? 
God did anoint Saul as king and 

490
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:23,840
then he anointed David as king 
and he anointed David as king 

491
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,680
while Saul was king and David 
was Silly kid. 

492
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,640
David grew up knowing he was 
going to be king, but David grew

493
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,320
up knowing that it wasn't for 
him to make it happen. 

494
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:37,560
If God really said it, he'll 
make it happen. 

495
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,200
I wonder if that's why he was 
able to withstand the peer 

496
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:44,840
pressure around him, because he 
already knew God is going to be 

497
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:46,960
faithful to His word. 
And if he doesn't make me 

498
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:49,160
kidding, maybe I've done 
something to disqualify myself. 

499
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:53,680
That's how I think of it. 
And so when everybody came 

500
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:55,280
around him, he was able to 
withstand it. 

501
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,880
Honor looks like this. 
It looks like refusing to tear 

502
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,080
somebody down, even when it 
would be easy to do it. 

503
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,760
If you notice, Saul kind of tore
himself down. 

504
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:08,160
He had a bad reputation. 
As for us, it doesn't have to 

505
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:09,840
happen Just in stories like 
David's. 

506
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:13,280
It shows up in our places where 
we live every day like 

507
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,160
friendships. 
When you have information about 

508
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:18,440
someone that you could share and
it would make you look better in

509
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:20,880
comparison. 
You could repeat what was said, 

510
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,000
you could add your perspective, 
or you could shift how other 

511
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,600
people see them and no one would
stop you. 

512
00:26:25,360 --> 00:26:27,880
In fact, some people would lean 
in and listen. 

513
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,440
But Honor would have you step 
back and say I'm not going to 

514
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:33,200
build a connection with someone 
by tearing somebody else down. 

515
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,400
The way you connect to somebody 
matters a great deal. 

516
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:41,480
Shows up a lot of times in 
marriage when frustration builds

517
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,560
up and the words are right 
there, ready to be said. 

518
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:45,720
Oh man, we don't know how to 
wound anybody as well as the 

519
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:49,400
people we're married to, right? 
We know exactly what to bring 

520
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,400
up. 
We know what would land, what 

521
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:54,280
would hurt, and what would make 
our point undeniable. 

522
00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:59,200
And it's in that moment, 
however, where we realize that 

523
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,240
it's all about us, what we feel,
what we want, and not about our 

524
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,160
spouse at all. 
Honor isn't pretending 

525
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:08,280
everything is fine, it's 
choosing not to weaponize your 

526
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:11,080
words against somebody that 
you're called to protect. 

527
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,840
And unfortunately, it shows up 
in church as well. 

528
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:18,760
Conversations that happen after 
services sometimes and group 

529
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:21,360
settings and discussions where 
someone's name comes up and the 

530
00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:24,360
tone starts to shift. 
It can be easy to say, hey, I'm 

531
00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:27,000
just being honest, Oh well, I 
didn't realize that. 

532
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:31,040
Or I think someone should say 
something, meanwhile they're not

533
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:34,840
saying something. 
I wonder who someone is by the 

534
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:36,400
way. 
Someone should do something. 

535
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,480
Honour always recognizes how 
quickly these moments can turn 

536
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,280
into something that divides 
instead of builds, and honour 

537
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:46,240
chooses to step back and 
redirect and not contribute to 

538
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:48,320
the problem. 
At the end of the day, honour 

539
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,400
isn't proven by what you say 
when everything is good, it's 

540
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:53,240
revealed by what you choose not 
to say when you could. 

541
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:57,280
One of my favorite parts in 
American history, honestly just 

542
00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:59,400
one of my favourite guys in all 
of American history, is Abraham 

543
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:03,640
Lincoln. 
Not just, you know, for the 

544
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:07,320
obvious reasons, but he was just
somebody who really went out of 

545
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:09,800
his way to see people even when 
he didn't feel seen. 

546
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,360
As a matter of fact, before he 
ever stepped into the 

547
00:28:13,360 --> 00:28:15,440
presidency, he had a lot of 
voices around him that weren't 

548
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:16,920
just critical, they were 
cutting. 

549
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,840
When they spoke about him. 
One of the strongest comments 

550
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:21,640
came from a man named Edwin 
Stanton. 

551
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,880
Anybody know that? 
Edwin Stanton? 

552
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:27,520
Any historical buffs? 
2 people, 3. 

553
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:29,960
I feel like an auctioneer sold 
three people. 

554
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:34,200
All right. 
Well, Edwin Stanton didn't just 

555
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,040
disagree with Lincoln's ideas, 
he spoke about them in ways that

556
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:40,920
were dismissive and personal. 
He questioned Lincoln's ability.

557
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:44,080
He mocked his leadership. 
He made it clear both in public 

558
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,560
and in private that he didn't 
think Lincoln was fit for the 

559
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:48,280
role that he was stepping into 
as president. 

560
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:50,680
And Lincoln knew it. 
It wasn't a secret. 

561
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:53,400
He was fully aware of what was 
being said about him. 

562
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:56,920
And So what does he do? 
Well, he's given the 

563
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,480
responsibility of building a 
team, and one of the most 

564
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,080
important positions he needed to
fill was the Secretary of War. 

565
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,720
It was not a small decision 
because the country was in 

566
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:07,760
crisis. 
The Civil War was unfolding. 

567
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,520
It's kind of a big deal. 
Every choice he made mattered. 

568
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:14,080
And in that moment, out of all 
the options, he chose Stanton. 

569
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,080
Why? 
Well, when people around him 

570
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:21,200
question that decision, Lincoln 
didn't revisit the past. 

571
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:23,920
He didn't remind anybody about 
all of the words. 

572
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:26,240
And wouldn't you have understood
it if he said, you know what 

573
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:28,200
that guy said about me? 
I'm not putting him on my 

574
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,640
payroll. 
He put him into a position of 

575
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:34,320
influence and trust. 
That is not something that you 

576
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:37,080
ever do on accident. 
That can only be done 

577
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:40,680
intentionally. 
In fact, there's a really great 

578
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:42,600
book written about it called 
Team of Rivals. 

579
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:45,080
But it is very historical. 
So if you don't like that, don't

580
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:48,160
buy it. 
Everything in US, when it's 

581
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:51,240
unchecked, wants to balance the 
scales and it wants to respond 

582
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:53,600
with words. 
It wants to justify tearing 

583
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:55,440
somebody down because of what 
they've said or done. 

584
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,080
But Lincoln steps into that 
moment, and he does the 

585
00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:00,920
opposite. 
Over time, something shifted 

586
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:03,920
because their relationship grew,
Respect grew. 

587
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:06,800
And when Lincoln was 
assassinated, the man who once 

588
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:10,200
spoke against him stood over his
grave and said this iconic 

589
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:12,880
quote. 
Now he belongs to the ages. 

590
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,520
He now knew Lincoln in a way 
that he didn't when he had run 

591
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:19,120
his mouth about Lincoln. 
The same voice that tore him 

592
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:22,680
down honored him. 
Because Lincoln chose honor to 

593
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,400
begin with. 
And honor is cyclical. 

594
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:28,840
What you choose to say doesn't 
just leave your mouth, it 

595
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:31,040
actually creates an environment.
What do we say at the beginning 

596
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,080
of today, right? 
God created everything through 

597
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:35,720
speaking. 
Let it be, let it be, let it be.

598
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:38,240
And everything was good until He
got to creating man. 

599
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:41,680
And He went, It's not good that 
man's alone and that he created 

600
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:43,920
woman. 
We're Better Together. 

601
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:48,920
Honor cyclical. 
God speaks things into creation 

602
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:52,120
and out of everything He 
created, we are the only ones 

603
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:53,600
that are listed as being in His 
image. 

604
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:58,880
Your words create environments. 
Your words influence how people 

605
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:02,120
are seen, how they're treated, 
and eventually how they respond.

606
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:05,560
Your words, they move and they 
echo and they come back. 

607
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:07,600
And this matters for where we 
live. 

608
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:10,480
This is not a sermon moment. 
I told you all this was going to

609
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:14,920
be challenging. 
Number one, what do you do? 

610
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:18,320
You have to start with being 
aware of what your motive is and

611
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:21,600
what you're saying. 
You can't change what you won't 

612
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:23,840
examine. 
David felt something when he 

613
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,720
crossed a line, even slightly. 
His conscience spoke. 

614
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,800
But Miriam and Aaron didn't 
pause long enough to ask what 

615
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,200
was really driving them as they 
started to speak out against 

616
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:35,400
somebody. 
So here's a simple question that

617
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,160
you can carry into this week. 
Before you say anything about 

618
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:41,360
someone, ask yourself, what am I
actually feeling about it? 

619
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:46,280
Not what sounds right, not what 
would make sense out loud, not 

620
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:48,640
what would get me an Amen or 
what would get them to agree 

621
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:52,320
with me. 
What's actually underneath what 

622
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:53,960
you want to say? 
Is it frustration? 

623
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:56,560
Is it insecurity? 
Is it hurt? 

624
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:58,960
Because if you don't deal with 
it at the heart level, it's 

625
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:01,160
going to come out in your words 
whether you want it to or not. 

626
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,520
From there, you got to learn 
restraint. 

627
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,160
I already mocked it once, so 
I'll mock it again. 

628
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,520
You know, I'm just being honest.
I just tell it like it is. 

629
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:16,680
That's cool. 
Yeah. 

630
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:19,480
Aren't you glad God doesn't say 
everything he knows about you? 

631
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:22,640
All right, well, that one wasn't
in my notes. 

632
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:27,280
There are moments where you will
have information or perspective 

633
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:29,520
or even a legitimate concern 
about someone. 

634
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:31,440
And honour doesn't mean 
pretending that it's OK. 

635
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:34,400
It means you refuse. 
You refuse to process that 

636
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,480
concern with the wrong people. 
Like I said earlier, don't build

637
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:39,960
a connection with somebody off 
of the wrong motives. 

638
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:43,200
That will filter and colour your
entire relationship. 

639
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:47,000
And honour doesn't stop at 
restraint, it moves into your 

640
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:51,120
actions, which we'll get to in a
moment, but it tears down the 

641
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,520
bad cycle and helps create a 
good cycle. 

642
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:56,280
Building up something has to be 
deliberate. 

643
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,440
Tearing something down was 
deliberate. 

644
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:02,160
Choosing to speak well of people
when they're not in the room is 

645
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:05,120
not something that everybody 
does naturally. 

646
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:09,680
And when I'm saying this, I'm 
not asking for empty compliments

647
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:12,080
or vain flattery, not 
exaggerations. 

648
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:14,880
I'm just saying that we need to 
speak the truth in a way that 

649
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:18,040
strengthens people. 
We have to become the kind of 

650
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,560
person that shifts the tone of a
conversation instead of 

651
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,640
following it. 
You want to learn to be a 

652
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,600
leader? 
Lead the conversations you're 

653
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:27,960
in. 
It also shows up in friendships,

654
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,640
where conversations can easily 
drift towards criticism. 

655
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:32,240
Was it? 
They say misery loves? 

656
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:35,840
Isn't that crazy, Wouldn't you 
think Misery loves solitude? 

657
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,560
No, Misery loves being told that
it's right. 

658
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:43,000
Misery loves being coddled and 
being told that there's nothing 

659
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,200
wrong with what you're doing. 
You sweet Angel, baby of the 

660
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:52,800
Lord. 
Honor chooses to redirect 

661
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:56,760
instead of commiserating over 
something negative. 

662
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:00,480
It shows up in marriage. 
When your words can create a 

663
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:06,720
safe place or can slowly erode 
it, you know what to say, but 

664
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:09,679
you probably also know what to 
say if you want to build a safe 

665
00:34:09,679 --> 00:34:11,960
place too. 
The question is, why don't you 

666
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:16,760
want to shows up in the church 
too, when it's easy to label 

667
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:18,679
something as a concern or a 
prayer need. 

668
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:21,080
Oh my goodness, the number of 
times I've heard like have a 

669
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:24,400
prayer request, I think that guy
over there is blah, blah, blah, 

670
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:25,639
blah, blah. 
And I'm like, do you know them? 

671
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:30,040
No, I feel like I just felt like
maybe somebody was. 

672
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:32,320
I felt like maybe something I 
felt in my spirit. 

673
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:40,520
OK, here's the biggest thing. 
Honour steps back and asks, is 

674
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:44,080
what I'm about to say going to 
build this person up or change 

675
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,040
the way that others see them in 
a negative way? 

676
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:50,080
Over time, whatever you choose 
to do with your words is going 

677
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:53,320
to become a rhythm. 
You become more aware of what's 

678
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:56,400
happening inside of you. 
You become quicker to pause 

679
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:58,680
before you speak, and then you 
become more intentional with the

680
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:01,120
words that you use. 
Because if you're willing to do 

681
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:03,520
all of that slowly, your 
conscience will stay sensitive 

682
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,720
instead of seared. 
So if you feel like, man, I'm 

683
00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:08,360
sitting here with a seared 
conscience, I'm already done. 

684
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:10,960
I'm spiritually cooked. 
I'm done. 

685
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:16,320
No, you can get sensitive again,
but you're going to have to be 

686
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,200
somebody who's willing to put in
the effort for it. 

687
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,360
Honor doesn't just refuse to 
tear people down. 

688
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:25,160
Honor builds others up. 
This is where the heavy lifting 

689
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:26,360
happens. 
All right, guys, you may feel 

690
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:27,960
like the self-control. 
There's a reason why. 

691
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:29,760
Like self-control is at the end 
of the fruit of the spirit. 

692
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:34,520
You may think that's the hard 
part It's not. 

693
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:38,760
This is the hard part. 
Go to 1st Thessalonians 5. 

694
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:41,800
Now that we've talked about what
honor refuses, now we get to 

695
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:47,040
talk about what honor chooses. 
Because if all we do is stop 

696
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:49,320
tearing people down, it is a 
good start. 

697
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:52,480
It's just not the full picture. 
Silence can prevent damage, 

698
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:54,280
right? 
But silence doesn't build 

699
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:56,800
anything. 
A marriage is not strong because

700
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:58,800
you stop saying mean things to 
each other. 

701
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:02,600
A friendship is not healthy just
because you avoid betraying each

702
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:03,720
other. 
That was a close one. 

703
00:36:03,720 --> 00:36:05,120
I almost betrayed you today, but
I didn't. 

704
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:07,120
Hey, High 5, let's go get a 
cheeseburger. 

705
00:36:08,720 --> 00:36:10,680
No, you might have some 
questions if they said what do 

706
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:16,400
you mean almost? 
A church is not unified just 

707
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,000
because people learn not to 
gossip. 

708
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,240
That might keep the walls from 
cracking, but it doesn't furnish

709
00:36:22,240 --> 00:36:26,080
the House of the Lord. 
Honor has to become active. 

710
00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:30,040
It has to move from just being 
restrained into an investment. 

711
00:36:30,240 --> 00:36:32,800
Not only refusing to use your 
words as weapons, but choosing 

712
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:36,800
to use them instead as tools 
that really matters for people 

713
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:39,240
that are carrying more than we 
usually realize. 

714
00:36:39,240 --> 00:36:41,120
Here's what I mean. 
You just look around. 

715
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:42,640
I've done it a couple weeks. 
But look around. 

716
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,560
Don't just act like the other 
people in this room aren't here.

717
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:46,280
This is your localized church 
family. 

718
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:49,680
The people in this room are all 
carrying pressure and insecurity

719
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:51,680
and discouragement. 
And some of them are carrying 

720
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:55,160
spiritual fatigue and family 
burdens and private grief. 

721
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,280
And some of them have questions 
they're terrified to ask out 

722
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:00,880
loud. 
So when scripture tells us to 

723
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:03,920
build one another up, it's not 
giving you a cute church phrase,

724
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:08,000
it's telling you how the body of
Christ stays healthy and we 

725
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,000
can't afford to handle things 
like the world does. 

726
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,200
When they tear it down, we build
it up. 

727
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:16,200
Unity is not protected just by 
avoiding the destructive words. 

728
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:17,920
It's only strengthened by life 
giving words. 

729
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:21,240
And so you can keep from tearing
someone down and still leave 

730
00:37:21,240 --> 00:37:23,840
them unsupported. 
Have you ever thought about 

731
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:26,680
that? 
Honor steps in closer than that,

732
00:37:26,720 --> 00:37:27,920
man. 
I could have said something and 

733
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:29,760
I didn't. 
I've said this, I've said this 

734
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:31,880
in the last couple months. 
Hey, I want you to be proud of 

735
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:34,080
me because I wanted to say 
something to this person and I 

736
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:37,200
didn't do it. 
Bare minimum. 

737
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:41,120
If I ever say that to you, give 
me no accolades. 

738
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:44,360
I want you to look at me and say
do better. 

739
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:50,800
I'm not kidding. 
You can keep tearing someone 

740
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:52,360
down and still leave them 
unsupported. 

741
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:56,560
Is that who you want to be? 
Honor speaks courage in the 

742
00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:58,000
people that are close to 
quitting. 

743
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:00,160
Like Pastor Tom spoke about last
week. 

744
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:03,320
Honor reminds people who they 
are when they're starting to 

745
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,640
forget. 
In First Thessalonians chapter 

746
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:09,440
5, we'll go verse 11 through 22.
Almost everything you're going 

747
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:13,880
to hear is an action step. 
It's not about heart refinement.

748
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:17,680
Listen to all of the things that
Paul says that they must do in 

749
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:20,520
their church. 
Encourage each other and build 

750
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:22,800
each other up just as you are 
already doing. 

751
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:25,920
We're going to pause a few times
through this and don't say it 

752
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:28,720
out loud. 
Think about the last time that 

753
00:38:28,720 --> 00:38:31,440
you went out of your way to 
encourage and build up another 

754
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:35,160
believer. 
I'd go as far as to say don't 

755
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:39,280
even think about your wife or 
your kids right now or your 

756
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:41,920
husband. 
Think about another believer 

757
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:43,400
outside of that. 
When's the last time you went 

758
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,160
out of your way to do it? 
He says. 

759
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:47,720
Dear brothers and sisters, honor
those who are your leaders in 

760
00:38:47,720 --> 00:38:48,600
the Lord's work. 
Yeah, that's fine. 

761
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:50,920
They work hard among you and 
give you spiritual guidance. 

762
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,760
Verse 13 show them great 
respect, wholeheartedly love 

763
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:56,240
because of their work. 
Live peacefully with each other.

764
00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:59,600
When's the last time that we 
went out of our way to live 

765
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:00,960
peacefully? 
Because it's a command. 

766
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:03,000
I don't want to live peacefully 
with this person. 

767
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:07,600
Yeah, but it's a command. 
Brothers and sisters, we urge 

768
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:11,280
you to warn those who are lazy. 
We normally don't warn them. 

769
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:13,800
We normally tell somebody, man, 
they're lazy. 

770
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:21,640
Encourage those who are timid. 
A lot of times you're like, 

771
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:23,960
that's just how they are. 
Encourage them. 

772
00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:25,600
Maybe there's a reason why 
they're timid. 

773
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:26,960
Maybe it's not just who they 
are. 

774
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,880
Take tender care of those who 
are weak. 

775
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:32,920
Don't look down on them. 
Have you ever been weak? 

776
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:41,040
Be patient with some people. 
Oh, you're reading along with 

777
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:42,800
me. 
I thought I was going to get 

778
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:45,400
across that. 
It says be patient with 

779
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:48,800
everyone. 
Guys, I have already failed like

780
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,320
15 times and I've not even given
you 15 things. 

781
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,440
Brothers and sisters, we urge 
you to warn those who are lazy, 

782
00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:57,760
encourage those who are timid, 
take tender care of those who 

783
00:39:57,760 --> 00:39:59,160
are weak, and be patient with 
everyone. 

784
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:01,880
This section is about the people
that we would try to avoid. 

785
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:06,800
See that no one pays back evil 
for evil, but always try to do 

786
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:08,440
good to each other and to all 
the people. 

787
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,400
Isn't it interesting that he 
doesn't say don't repay evil for

788
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:14,480
evil? 
He says see that no one pays 

789
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:18,280
back evil for evil. 
That means when somebody says, 

790
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:20,240
you know what, they hurt me, I 
want to do this. 

791
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:23,760
It is actually your God-given 
responsibility, man or woman of 

792
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:27,240
God, to say no, no, no, you 
won't be doing this. 

793
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:32,120
It's a command. 
Always be joyful. 

794
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:34,680
Anyone getting an A+ on that 
right now? 

795
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:39,560
OK, we're working on it. 
Never stop praying. 

796
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:45,000
Be thankful in all 
circumstances, for this is God's

797
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:47,520
will for you who belong to 
Christ Jesus. 

798
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,360
God's will is for you to be 
thankful in all circumstances 

799
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,520
and listen to this. 
This one would change every 

800
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:58,640
single one of them. 
If it seems impossible for you, 

801
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:02,000
good, because it is, unless you 
listen to verse 19. 

802
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:09,280
Do not stifle the Holy Spirit. 
Do not scoff at prophecies, but 

803
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:12,440
test everything that is said. 
Hold on to what is good. 

804
00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:14,560
Stay away from every kind of 
evil. 

805
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:17,840
A lot of us, we love the Lord, 
but we leave doors open to 

806
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:19,840
things that we don't talk about 
with other people. 

807
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:23,160
And as long as that door's open,
the Holy Spirit is stifled. 

808
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:26,040
And as long as the Holy Spirit 
is stifled because God gave you 

809
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,840
the ability to stifle the Holy 
Spirit if you so choose, these 

810
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:31,560
things are all going to seem 
impossible for you. 

811
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:34,280
But nothing is impossible for 
those that believe. 

812
00:41:36,240 --> 00:41:39,640
If y'all think it's a challenge 
today, let me just remind you it

813
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:43,400
is a prayer service this 
Wednesday at 6:00, No, yeah, 

814
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:45,600
6:00. 
It's a prayer service. 

815
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:47,400
Hopefully y'all can make it 
here. 

816
00:41:47,720 --> 00:41:49,480
There's going to be leadership 
training over in the other 

817
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:50,800
building. 
And it's probably going to be 

818
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:53,520
harder on the leaders that day 
as it is for all of us today. 

819
00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:56,480
Because here's what Paul is 
showing us. 

820
00:41:56,880 --> 00:42:00,320
He's writing to a church that 
that needs his advice. 

821
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:02,800
And he's not just telling them 
to avoid evil. 

822
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:07,760
He's telling them to encourage, 
build up, respect, warn, help, 

823
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:12,800
be patient, choose good, rejoice
to pray, to give thanks, and to 

824
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:15,640
stay sensitive to the Spirit and
to hold on tightly to what is 

825
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:17,680
good. 
Many of us do hold on to what is

826
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:24,360
good, but it's not tightly. 
These are all action steps. 

827
00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:27,200
In other words, building people 
up is not one sentence that you 

828
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:29,000
say when someone's having a hard
day. 

829
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:30,800
Hey, I believe in you. 
You can do this. 

830
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:37,240
Anyway, I got to go. 
This is a whole way of living 

831
00:42:37,240 --> 00:42:39,440
with people, and this is what 
the Kingdom of God is supposed 

832
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:42,200
to look like. 
Do you remember? 

833
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:45,280
I don't even know if they're as 
popular now, but do you remember

834
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:47,320
yearbooks? 
Did the yearbooks used to matter

835
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:48,880
to y'all? 
They used to matter to me. 

836
00:42:50,240 --> 00:42:53,400
I know high school reunions are 
less popular now because 

837
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:54,960
everybody's connected on social 
media. 

838
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:58,680
Nobody wants to schedule a trip 
to to go back to their high 

839
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:00,880
school when they can already see
how you're doing on Facebook or 

840
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:02,440
whatever. 
Because to be honest, we're not 

841
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:05,520
that close anymore. 
But we're still going to try to 

842
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:10,120
do one this this coming year. 
And I remember the yearbooks 

843
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:11,800
mattered so much to me growing 
up. 

844
00:43:12,240 --> 00:43:14,760
And it always mattered to me to 
see who went out of their way to

845
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:18,080
write something real. 
And you know that because some 

846
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:20,280
people, they were like, I have 
to sign this. 

847
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:24,400
And you knew that because they'd
write stay cool, right? 

848
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:27,200
And they like sign their name or
they just sign their name and 

849
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:28,680
put nothing else. 
Or you'd always have the one 

850
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:30,920
weirdo that like signs the spine
and they're like, I signed your 

851
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:36,720
crack. 
Honestly, you always had those. 

852
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:40,800
But but if you think back to 
your yearbook, were you ever 

853
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:44,840
surprised by someone when you 
looked and you went, I didn't 

854
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:47,640
even know they felt that way. 
There's something that's 

855
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:50,680
emotional about the end of the 
year where somebody knows that 

856
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:53,160
their season is changing and 
they want to get something out. 

857
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:55,720
And I'm just telling you that 
for years, I used to look back 

858
00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:58,200
on those yearbooks and yeah, 
some of them had like faces that

859
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:00,680
were scribbled out and all that.
But I'd go and I would look at 

860
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:03,080
some of these words. 
I have one yearbook with an 

861
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:06,360
ex-girlfriend that apologized 
for what happened when we were 

862
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:09,080
dating. 
And when I first saw that, my 

863
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:11,200
first thought was I knew I was 
right. 

864
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,680
This is not the take away. 
The take away is that she 

865
00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:18,200
experienced growth and she went 
out of her way to encourage 

866
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:21,840
somebody and that had to have 
been a vulnerable move for her. 

867
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:24,720
There are people that went out 
of my way to write very special 

868
00:44:24,720 --> 00:44:26,600
things. 
There are some people I went out

869
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:29,200
of my way to think what am I 
going to write because it has to

870
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:31,600
be good. 
And then there were ones that I 

871
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:35,280
was dismissive over. 
But words carry so much weight. 

872
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:38,560
As a matter of fact, just over 
this past week, I had a couple 

873
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:39,920
that I thought I'd just throw 
out there. 

874
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,680
Don't even know if everybody's 
in the room today, but you know,

875
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:47,200
I, I really appreciate it if you
all know Bernadette in this 

876
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:50,320
church, she's such an encourager
man. 

877
00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:53,720
Every so often, like I'll get a 
text from her that just lifts me

878
00:44:53,720 --> 00:44:57,240
up, builds me up. 
And I look at that and I'm like,

879
00:44:57,240 --> 00:45:00,120
I didn't know you thought that. 
And it's one of those things 

880
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:03,320
where it's like, I don't know 
that I need it until I get it. 

881
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:07,080
If you ever had one of those 
messages and you're like, that 

882
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:09,360
was a God ordained text. 
And she's so good at being 

883
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:11,080
sensitive to the Spirit and 
doing that. 

884
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:14,640
I also love Miss Janet Fincher, 
who sends me emails sometimes, 

885
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:16,400
goes along with like the Bible 
studies. 

886
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:19,200
And the last one was she was 
telling me about the Bible study

887
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:20,840
that we were going through with 
Ecclesiastes. 

888
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:23,600
We just wrapped up on Wednesday 
and saying how much it 

889
00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:26,480
challenged her. 
And that means a lot to me 

890
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:29,160
because she's got more years 
under her belt serving the Lord 

891
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:30,920
than I do. 
And I respect her so much. 

892
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:35,600
And she encouraged me even 
yesterday had the blessing to be

893
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:37,920
on a little bit of a road trip, 
just visiting a former student 

894
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:40,440
over in Wilmington. 
And my wife and I got to to 

895
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:44,920
drive together and we're driving
back and I got my Airpods in. 

896
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:46,120
I'm probably going to listen to 
a book. 

897
00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:48,720
And she said, what's the current
thing that's really stressing 

898
00:45:48,720 --> 00:45:52,240
you out the most right now? 
She just said, what is it? 

899
00:45:52,240 --> 00:45:54,120
What is it that you're 
struggling the most, most with 

900
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:57,720
internally right now? 
Oh, I took my Airpods out so 

901
00:45:57,720 --> 00:45:59,440
fast. 
I felt so seen just in that 

902
00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:01,400
moment. 
We don't always get those 

903
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:04,520
questions, do we? 
And then we had a really good 

904
00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:08,040
conversation after that. 
I just want you to know the 

905
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:10,080
honor is never accidental. 
It's built. 

906
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:12,800
Janet had to choose to send that
e-mail. 

907
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:14,480
Bernadette had to choose to send
that text. 

908
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:16,520
My wife had to choose to ask 
that question. 

909
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:19,880
It wasn't just a random string 
of words. 

910
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:23,960
If it's going to become a 
culture in our lives and in our 

911
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:27,280
relationships and our families, 
in our church, it has to show up

912
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:29,160
in specific ways that are 
repeatable. 

913
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:31,280
So what does that actually look 
like? 

914
00:46:32,240 --> 00:46:36,720
Slow down with people. 
Most of us life is so fast-paced

915
00:46:36,720 --> 00:46:38,800
now. 
How many of y'all, when you do 

916
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:41,200
listen to an audio book, listen 
to it on its original speed. 

917
00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:48,280
How many of y'all speed it up? 
Point 2.5 Anybody listen 2 point

918
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:49,840
O speed? 
Uh huh, right? 

919
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:51,480
A lot of times that's what we're
doing. 

920
00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:53,080
We're like, I just want to get 
through with this. 

921
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:58,160
The Bible talks about being 
quick to listen and slow to 

922
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:01,600
respond, but listen to the words
of Jesus in Matthew 1236. 

923
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:04,320
He says, I tell you this, you 
must give an account on 

924
00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:06,520
Judgement Day for every idle 
word you speak. 

925
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:12,080
How is the word idle? 
You didn't think about it. 

926
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:14,280
Came out too fast. 
You don't have enough time to 

927
00:47:14,280 --> 00:47:17,760
think about it. 
Problem is, yeah, you can be 

928
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:19,920
forgiven. 
But once you say something to 

929
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:21,320
someone, they always remember 
it. 

930
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:25,960
Even if they try to rebuild, 
they'll always remember it. 

931
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:28,520
They'll remember if you were 
dismissive of them, if you were 

932
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:29,960
calloused to them, if you were 
cruel. 

933
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:35,560
You can get forgiven for sure by
the Lord, often by people, but 

934
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:38,880
your life on this planet does 
change with those relationships.

935
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:40,720
That's a heavy statement from 
Jesus. 

936
00:47:40,720 --> 00:47:43,560
It's a much needed one. 
Your words are not throw away 

937
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:46,600
things and you may have a low 
opinion of yourself and you may 

938
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:48,760
think that your words don't 
matter, but there's a great many

939
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:51,840
people around you that would 
disagree and they need your 

940
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:53,640
words to be tools instead of 
weapons. 

941
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:57,800
So one of the simplest, most 
practical ways to build honour 

942
00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:01,000
is to create space between what 
you feel and what you say. 

943
00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:04,640
Not everything that crosses our 
mind deserves a microphone. 

944
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:09,320
Sometimes honour just looks like
pausing long enough to ask, do I

945
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:11,560
actually have to say this or is 
it just something I feel? 

946
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:15,160
The next thing is it becomes 
being intentional with your 

947
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:17,600
words and that has to come 
afterwards. 

948
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:19,200
OK. 
You need to have space between 

949
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:22,120
what you're feeling and what you
say so that you can be 

950
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:26,680
intentional with your words. 
And just to be clear, this is 

951
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:28,520
not flattery. 
This is actually modelling our 

952
00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:31,400
words with how God sees people. 
Think about this. 

953
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:34,960
Jesus consistently spoke 
identity into people before they

954
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:37,280
lived it out. 
So a lot of times we'll say, 

955
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:39,080
well, I'll compliment them when 
I get to see it. 

956
00:48:39,360 --> 00:48:43,120
I'll do it when they earn it. 
The problem is Jesus called 

957
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:46,520
fishermen, fishers of men. 
He spoke to broken people as if 

958
00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:49,160
restoration was already 
happening, and he didn't ignore 

959
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:50,800
the reality, He just spoke into 
it. 

960
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:53,920
That's what honor does. 
It doesn't pretend that 

961
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:55,960
everything's perfect. 
It just calls out what God is 

962
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:58,160
doing in someone, even when it's
still in the process. 

963
00:48:58,360 --> 00:48:59,960
Especially when it's in the 
process. 

964
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:03,040
It also means redirecting 
conversations. 

965
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:05,040
Healthy church culture needs 
this. 

966
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:08,920
There are moments that you're in
a conversation and it starts to 

967
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:10,920
drift. 
Someone's name comes up, the the

968
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:12,960
tone shifts. 
Maybe it's subtle, but at some 

969
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:17,520
point your conscience perks up. 
And when that happens, sometimes

970
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:20,920
it just looks like changing the 
subject, adding something to 

971
00:49:20,920 --> 00:49:22,800
build somebody up instead of 
tears them down. 

972
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:26,280
Sometimes it looks like saying, 
hey, we probably should talk to 

973
00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:27,600
them about that instead of each 
other. 

974
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:31,280
I remember I had a really bad 
general manager one time when I 

975
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:35,720
was doing Christian radio. 
And later on I was catching up 

976
00:49:35,720 --> 00:49:37,520
with somebody that worked at 
like the affiliate for the 

977
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:39,240
satellite program that we worked
with. 

978
00:49:39,240 --> 00:49:41,280
And I said, I said, man, do you 
remember him? 

979
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:43,920
And he was like, oh, yeah. 
And I man, he was a real, he was

980
00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:46,160
a piece of work to work for. 
And you know, I was just going 

981
00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:50,920
on about it and and he said, 
well, he, he only ever told me 

982
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:58,120
good things about you. 
And I went, he had bad things to

983
00:49:58,120 --> 00:50:02,000
say about me. 
And I still don't have the best 

984
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,880
of opinions of this guy in that 
relationship. 

985
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:07,640
He didn't do anything but edify 
me to somebody else. 

986
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:13,760
Here's the hardest part. 
If you're going to do all of 

987
00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:16,360
these things, just become 
consistent. 

988
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:18,480
You have to practice it until it
becomes natural. 

989
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:22,360
I don't know if anybody's ever 
taught you this before, but 

990
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:25,600
honour is just not convenient. 
It's something that you practice

991
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:28,200
until it becomes natural. 
The more that you pause and 

992
00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:32,560
examine and then speak life and 
become sensitive, your heart 

993
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:34,640
starts to respond. 
Instead of your conscience 

994
00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:37,600
getting quieter over time, it'll
become sharper, You'll notice 

995
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:40,720
things quicker and you'll 
respond differently and you'll 

996
00:50:40,720 --> 00:50:43,280
be able to create an environment
where people are safe and seen 

997
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:46,360
and strengthened to just telling
you that that's how unity is 

998
00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:50,480
built. 
So we come to the end of this, I

999
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:52,880
don't want to just have this all
sit on you like pressure. 

1000
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,120
As much as I wanted to open up 
something inside of you, 

1001
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:58,960
everything that we've talked 
about today only matters if it 

1002
00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:01,280
leads somewhere. 
And I want you to know the truth

1003
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:03,880
that it can. 
I want you to know that you're 

1004
00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:07,360
not stuck in whatever patterns 
you've had with your words. 

1005
00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:10,400
You're not locked into the way 
that you've always responded or 

1006
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:11,960
the way you've been responding 
lately. 

1007
00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:16,280
I want you to know, if your 
heart can become dull over time,

1008
00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:18,320
it can become sensitive over 
time as well. 

1009
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:22,360
If your words have carried the 
wrong tone before, you can begin

1010
00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:25,280
to carry a different one. 
Moving forward, you can change. 

1011
00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:27,680
If you expect it to be all at 
once, you're going to disappoint

1012
00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:29,400
yourself. 
Don't set that as the 

1013
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:32,480
expectation. 
You can become more aware than 

1014
00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:35,520
you were before, and you can 
start to catch something before 

1015
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:37,520
it leaves your mouth. 
If you're not used to it, you 

1016
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:39,640
can feel that check in your 
spirit again. 

1017
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:43,000
It can happen. 
You can pause in moments where 

1018
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:45,400
you used to push forward. 
I want you to know that over 

1019
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:48,920
time, what felt normal or out of
place, it can also start to feel

1020
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:52,640
like second nature. 
But growth doesn't just move 

1021
00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:54,480
forward, it looks backwards 
sometimes too. 

1022
00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:57,600
That's where this becomes a 
little bit more personal. 

1023
00:51:57,600 --> 00:52:01,280
And here's what I mean by that. 
Some of us here, as we've been 

1024
00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:04,200
talking, there have been moments
that have come to mind. 

1025
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:08,160
There have been conversations or
names or situations or something

1026
00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:11,120
that was said or repeated or 
something that was framed in a 

1027
00:52:11,120 --> 00:52:14,960
way that felt right at the time,
but if you're honest, now wasn't

1028
00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:17,840
right. 
When that happens, the goal is 

1029
00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:19,760
not to ignore it or explain it 
away. 

1030
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:23,760
The goal is to address it. 
My kids have this saying. 

1031
00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:26,880
I always tell them in our 
family, I say the Larsons. 

1032
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:30,040
We don't always get it right, 
but what they'll say, we make it

1033
00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:33,000
right. 
I don't want them to think that 

1034
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:34,680
their job is to get it right all
the time. 

1035
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:37,360
That's unhealthy for a kid to 
grow up feeling like they have 

1036
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:40,240
to be perfect. 
I want them to expect to fail, 

1037
00:52:40,240 --> 00:52:43,480
but I want them to expect to do 
the work of fixing it when they 

1038
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:48,360
do. 
Honor doesn't just show up in 

1039
00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:52,080
what you say next after today. 
It shows up in what you take 

1040
00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:54,960
responsibility for when you've 
already said it. 

1041
00:52:55,560 --> 00:52:57,920
And sometimes that means going 
back to someone else and saying,

1042
00:52:57,920 --> 00:53:00,280
hey, that wasn't right. 
Sometimes it means addressing 

1043
00:53:00,280 --> 00:53:01,840
something you said about someone
else. 

1044
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:04,320
And sometimes it just means 
owning something that felt small

1045
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:06,880
in the moment, like clipping the
hem of somebody's garment. 

1046
00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:10,200
Hey, I could have murdered him. 
It's not that big of a deal. 

1047
00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:13,160
Well, when you put it in that 
comparison, you still cut up 

1048
00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:17,360
their clothes. 
Words don't just disappear when 

1049
00:53:17,360 --> 00:53:19,400
we say them and they don't fade 
into nothing. 

1050
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:21,720
Listen to this from Proverbs 
2620. 

1051
00:53:21,720 --> 00:53:27,520
It says fire goes out without 
wood and quarrels disappear when

1052
00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:32,040
gossip stops. 
And the interesting, I think a 

1053
00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:35,480
lot of times we try to stop the 
quarrels so we won't gossip. 

1054
00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:38,960
If you can control the words, 
the quarrels disappear. 

1055
00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:43,720
So when you sit with that for a 
moment, it should change more 

1056
00:53:43,720 --> 00:53:45,560
than just what you say. 
It should change the way you 

1057
00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:48,640
decide to continue. 
Fires don't continue burning on 

1058
00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:51,440
their own. 
Someone has to keep feeding 

1059
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:53,080
them. 
You'll notice that we're in, 

1060
00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:55,000
like, a burn ban around here 
lately. 

1061
00:53:57,400 --> 00:53:59,440
Yeah, well, I found out the 
other day that that doesn't 

1062
00:53:59,440 --> 00:54:01,600
count if it's within, like, 100 
feet of your house. 

1063
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:03,960
And I said, well, cool. 
I got some stuff to burn. 

1064
00:54:04,880 --> 00:54:08,120
This is my burn pit. 
This is my new burn pit. 

1065
00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:12,840
Because it's so dry, it had so 
much fuel. 

1066
00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:15,040
If I tried to do it today, it 
would have been a different 

1067
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:16,960
response. 
When there's a lot of fuel, the 

1068
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:18,760
fire keeps burning. 
So what do we do? 

1069
00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:23,600
We remove the fuel. 
James chapter 3 says this in 

1070
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:26,720
verse 7. 
People contain all kinds of 

1071
00:54:26,720 --> 00:54:30,080
animals, birds, reptiles, and 
fish, but no one can tame the 

1072
00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:34,320
tongue. 
It is restless and evil and full

1073
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:37,640
of deadly poison. 
Sometimes it praises our Lord 

1074
00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:40,280
and Father, and sometimes it 
curses those who have been made 

1075
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:44,640
in the image of God, and so 
blessing and cursing come 

1076
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:48,680
pouring out of the same mouth. 
Surely, my brothers and sisters,

1077
00:54:48,680 --> 00:54:52,120
this is not right. 
Does a spring of water bubble 

1078
00:54:52,160 --> 00:54:54,840
out with both freshwater and 
bitter water? 

1079
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:59,240
Does a fig tree produce olives 
or a Grapevine produce figs? 

1080
00:54:59,680 --> 00:55:02,920
No, and you can't draw 
freshwater from a salty spring. 

1081
00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:05,760
So you may say, I don't really 
feel like I've got an issue in 

1082
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:07,600
my heart, but I would just 
challenge you to look at what 

1083
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:09,520
your words have been saying 
because they have come from 

1084
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:11,280
whatever the spring is in your 
heart. 

1085
00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:14,760
If there are things that need to
be tended to, you can put a 

1086
00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:18,240
purifier on the outside or you 
can try to purify it on the 

1087
00:55:18,240 --> 00:55:20,880
inside, and then everything that
comes out will be fresh. 

1088
00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:25,680
We started with identity, 
learning to value what God 

1089
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:29,000
values. 
Today we're talking about honor,

1090
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:33,080
and next week we're going to 
talk about humility and we're 

1091
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:35,920
going to talk about what it is 
to reset the way that we view 

1092
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:37,800
ourselves and our importance and
our need to be heard. 

1093
00:55:37,800 --> 00:55:40,640
But before we close, I felt like
the Lord wanted me to do this. 

1094
00:55:40,640 --> 00:55:44,840
I want to bring this into one of
the most important places that 

1095
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:47,320
honour should live. 
After everything we've talked 

1096
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:49,560
about, I want to make sure this 
just doesn't stay a sermon or 

1097
00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:52,280
something that's, you know, a 
theoretical teaching or 

1098
00:55:52,280 --> 00:55:54,680
whatever. 
There is no more holy 

1099
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:59,240
relationship than a marriage. 
And so if you're married, I want

1100
00:55:59,240 --> 00:56:02,040
you to stand where you are, 
hopefully with your spouse. 

1101
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:03,960
But if they're not here, stand. 
All the same. 

1102
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:08,080
If you're married, I want you to
stand and listen. 

1103
00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:10,800
If you're near a married couple,
if you know them well, you can 

1104
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:12,360
lay hands on them and pray. 
If you don't know them well, 

1105
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:13,560
don't do it. 
Don't be the weird one. 

1106
00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:16,760
But you can still pray for them.
Cassie, would you come up here 

1107
00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:20,160
with me? 
We're married, last I checked. 

1108
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:28,200
Just assume you'll tell me if 
we're not good. 

1109
00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:32,920
I have a folder for that. 
Everybody across this room, I 

1110
00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:35,080
just want you to stand and I 
want you to hold hands with each

1111
00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:39,040
other if you are there. 
OK, here's the challenge for the

1112
00:56:39,040 --> 00:56:41,000
week. 
I'm going to pray for all of us 

1113
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:42,600
to end. 
But before I do, here's your 

1114
00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:47,840
challenge for one week, 7 days, 
and I mean this until you reach 

1115
00:56:47,840 --> 00:56:51,040
church next Sunday. 
My challenge to you is this. 

1116
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:55,000
You make not one decision that 
is not through the filter of 

1117
00:56:55,000 --> 00:57:00,400
what they need, not one go out 
of your way that for one week 

1118
00:57:00,520 --> 00:57:02,240
you do nothing but think of 
them. 

1119
00:57:02,960 --> 00:57:07,360
And in specific, if you are both
willing to commit to this, I 

1120
00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:09,880
think you'll find that all your 
needs get met over the next week

1121
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:13,000
and it's going to be hard. 
And you may need a reminder. 

1122
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:15,640
Do a gentle reminder if you need
to. 

1123
00:57:15,640 --> 00:57:19,440
OK spouses. 
But what would it look like if 

1124
00:57:19,440 --> 00:57:22,760
for the next week every decision
you made in your marriage was 

1125
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:24,880
through the filter of what does 
he need, What does she need? 

1126
00:57:25,480 --> 00:57:27,840
And every decision that they 
made was what do you need? 

1127
00:57:28,640 --> 00:57:31,160
And that's what we're going to 
pray for. 

1128
00:57:31,160 --> 00:57:33,560
God, we just ask that you would 
bless all of our relationships. 

1129
00:57:33,560 --> 00:57:37,040
But in specific, we're asking 
for you to speak honor into 

1130
00:57:37,200 --> 00:57:40,320
marriage. 
God, give us the capability to 

1131
00:57:40,360 --> 00:57:44,440
honor the honorable and give us 
the courage to honor when we 

1132
00:57:44,440 --> 00:57:47,680
don't want to. 
Help us to see the good and the 

1133
00:57:47,680 --> 00:57:50,840
godly in one another. 
Help us to call it out even 

1134
00:57:50,840 --> 00:57:54,640
before it's manifested itself. 
Help us to have grace and 

1135
00:57:54,640 --> 00:57:59,480
forgiveness and Father, let that
be something that changes us so 

1136
00:57:59,480 --> 00:58:02,720
much that all of our other 
relationships get impacted to 

1137
00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:07,560
make us slower to respond, make 
us more mindful of our words and

1138
00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:10,360
God, don't let there be a 
disconnect between what we feel 

1139
00:58:11,200 --> 00:58:14,720
and what we say. 
Help us to be more self aware 

1140
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:18,920
and guide us to be the man or 
the woman after you that you 

1141
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:21,600
created us to be. 
In the name of Jesus, everybody 

1142
00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:23,000
said Amen.