1 00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:03,920 Hey guys, today we're going to be discussing getting knocked 2 00:00:03,930 --> 00:00:07,930 down by cars, excellent sandwiches, and Hanky the Grill. 3 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:15,740 He looks to me for help. You're like help me help. 4 00:00:16,230 --> 00:00:19,580 Hey guys, this week we're going to be talking about egg salad 5 00:00:19,590 --> 00:00:21,220 sandwiches. Hanky the Christmas. 6 00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:23,200 Poo and getting knocked down by cars. 7 00:00:23,270 --> 00:00:24,300 It's got one. Stay tuned. 8 00:00:24,310 --> 00:00:27,120 Alright, yeah, bye. No, you're not saying. 9 00:00:27,130 --> 00:00:28,610 Boy, we're only starting into a podcast. 10 00:00:38,470 --> 00:00:41,240 Ohh hi, how are you? How's it going? 11 00:00:41,330 --> 00:00:43,260 How's you slither on into the room without me? 12 00:00:43,270 --> 00:00:46,480 Knowing I like a ninja I hate the way you don't like the way 13 00:00:46,490 --> 00:00:49,270 slither cause litter is amazing. In your voice message. 14 00:00:50,670 --> 00:00:52,340 No, I'm not gonna slither anywhere with you. 15 00:00:52,350 --> 00:00:54,720 Thanks very much though. Being I wasn't being like, I 16 00:00:54,730 --> 00:00:57,440 wasn't propositioning you just like, I don't care, you know, 17 00:00:57,450 --> 00:00:59,580 Randall. From I do not care. 18 00:00:59,650 --> 00:01:01,740 It's just moist. It's just like a not. 19 00:01:01,750 --> 00:01:04,700 It's ohh, you hate moist like shit. 20 00:01:04,709 --> 00:01:08,070 Millennial like trope is like you've got something on your 21 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:09,340 face. Ohh, you're getting me back now 22 00:01:09,350 --> 00:01:11,260 for giving out to you. So it's like mascara. 23 00:01:11,270 --> 00:01:14,730 Yeah, great. Anyway, slithering, I like your 24 00:01:14,740 --> 00:01:15,910 look today. Thanks. 25 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:17,620 Do you like a button up? Yeah, it's cool. 26 00:01:17,730 --> 00:01:20,020 So. Like 1 boob out the middle, my 27 00:01:20,030 --> 00:01:22,220 middle one. One boob I actually came out of 28 00:01:22,230 --> 00:01:24,520 nightclub in town once. I was rang like a boob tube 29 00:01:24,530 --> 00:01:26,630 calculator here and nothing else underneath. 30 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:30,140 Obviously it was like no pants or nothing, just. 31 00:01:31,070 --> 00:01:31,900 And a pair of flip. Flops. 32 00:01:31,910 --> 00:01:33,730 It was a weird advice and the weird voice. 33 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:36,590 I went into a shop, went into the shop and I would walk. 34 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:46,160 Around too early. I went hi guys tampon string. 35 00:01:46,170 --> 00:01:48,560 I went too far too. Far ohh so. 36 00:01:48,670 --> 00:01:51,280 I was walking around. I was getting popcorn. 37 00:01:51,290 --> 00:01:53,520 Or ever, like before the taxi. You know, you're starving after 38 00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:54,570 the nightclub. Yeah. 39 00:01:54,580 --> 00:01:55,980 And I was. Your man looked at me really 40 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,040 weirdly. You can tell where this is 41 00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:58,520 going. And I looked down both boobs 42 00:01:58,530 --> 00:02:01,060 just completely. I didn't have much boob at the 43 00:02:01,070 --> 00:02:05,410 time, so I didn't. Like it was just a band around 44 00:02:05,420 --> 00:02:06,570 you like a. Little hair band. 45 00:02:06,630 --> 00:02:08,250 Yeah, yeah. Holding them up underneath, 46 00:02:10,090 --> 00:02:11,940 that's what I guess. So funny. 47 00:02:11,990 --> 00:02:15,100 Ohh, idiot. Anyway, I thought today, just to 48 00:02:15,110 --> 00:02:16,640 lighten the mood, we could talk about death. 49 00:02:16,710 --> 00:02:18,590 We started off on a banger. Didn't we did? 50 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,420 Yes. It went went from boob flashing 51 00:02:20,430 --> 00:02:22,420 to death. Ohh. 52 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:28,290 Going to be a long half hour. Let's get stuck in, shall we? 53 00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:30,710 So have you ever experienced death in your life? 54 00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:34,750 I know I did. A car did knock me over once. 55 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,460 Oh my God, I've been knocked. Down by a car before get out of 56 00:02:37,470 --> 00:02:38,070 town. Shut up. 57 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:41,080 How old are you? 18? 58 00:02:41,390 --> 00:02:42,770 OK, you're probably a bit more serious. 59 00:02:42,780 --> 00:02:44,840 I was 12. I was knocked down. 60 00:02:44,890 --> 00:02:46,730 Broke my leg really badly. That you. 61 00:02:46,740 --> 00:02:48,940 Thought that because younger I would think that. 62 00:02:49,110 --> 00:02:52,040 Well, I was, I like was your. Everything less bouncing back. 63 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:53,950 I don't know. So I kinda I was getting off the 64 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,880 door I'm. Thinking younger body more. 65 00:02:55,930 --> 00:02:58,220 Spelt, if you will, I don't know yeah, maybe I don't know. 66 00:02:58,230 --> 00:03:00,340 I just like, okay, we're going really broke my legs. 67 00:03:00,350 --> 00:03:02,680 I got getting off the dark. I wanna hear about yours next. 68 00:03:02,790 --> 00:03:05,520 I was getting off the dart, walking in Bray Dart station, 69 00:03:05,530 --> 00:03:07,840 walking across the road. Just didn't look and I 70 00:03:07,910 --> 00:03:09,930 essentially walked. I bounced off the bonnet and 71 00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:14,260 then my foot, my leg went into the wheel bubble and I was lying 72 00:03:14,270 --> 00:03:16,160 there said there was a moment I was like, what do you do? 73 00:03:16,170 --> 00:03:18,440 Like was really awkward. I was like, what do I do here? 74 00:03:18,450 --> 00:03:21,260 Like I am the victim. So I was a bit kind of healthy. 75 00:03:21,780 --> 00:03:23,840 Can someone help? There's a great embarrassed 76 00:03:23,850 --> 00:03:25,520 cause I'm so shocked. I didn't feel the pain and I was 77 00:03:25,530 --> 00:03:27,120 like, I don't know, it's just happened there. 78 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:29,730 So like I had the coats over me and you know, the ambulance. 79 00:03:29,740 --> 00:03:33,400 Sorry, where was your leg inside the my leg went underneath the 80 00:03:33,410 --> 00:03:36,360 wheel of the car and bubble like you went around went around 81 00:03:36,370 --> 00:03:38,500 under the thing. So I was lying there kind of 82 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,260 shocked and I was just like, Oh my God, what? 83 00:03:40,270 --> 00:03:43,070 Like what do I do here? And because when it happens to 84 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,850 you, but this is how kind of people please Rio was the guy 85 00:03:45,860 --> 00:03:47,810 who knocked me down came up and he was like, ohh, God. 86 00:03:47,820 --> 00:03:51,260 And he lifted up the coats and saw my leg and he went pale and 87 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:52,830 fuck. And he was just like, oh God. 88 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:54,360 And I was like, ohh, I'm really, really sorry. 89 00:03:54,370 --> 00:03:55,890 You can where you go? Where are you going? 90 00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:57,550 He's like, I'm going to grace. It's like I lived there. 91 00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,990 You can go on ahead. I'm sorry to delay your morning 92 00:04:01,060 --> 00:04:03,270 and my sister this is. Actually, no, you're alright. 93 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:04,210 I'm. Fine, I know. 94 00:04:04,220 --> 00:04:06,270 And my twin sister, The Irish embarrassment. 95 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:09,190 No good bleeding. Yeah, yeah. 96 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:10,890 No, no, don't mind. That's only scratch. 97 00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:15,230 My leg was hanging off and then I went down. 98 00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:17,250 No, sorry. My school is down the road at 99 00:04:17,260 --> 00:04:19,769 the time and my sister was in the school, my twin sister, 100 00:04:19,779 --> 00:04:23,050 Dancer, And she heard an ambulance going past and she was 101 00:04:23,060 --> 00:04:26,100 like something wrong with Laura. So you have telepathy? 102 00:04:26,110 --> 00:04:28,930 Yeah, well, there was new. And so she went down and she 103 00:04:28,940 --> 00:04:31,840 found me and said it was all it was great crack because I was up 104 00:04:31,850 --> 00:04:34,010 with the ambulance and there was loads of people gathered around 105 00:04:34,020 --> 00:04:35,530 at the station, you know what's going on. 106 00:04:35,660 --> 00:04:37,670 And they said it was great because she was all like out of 107 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,080 my way. Me invite younger banter the, 108 00:04:40,090 --> 00:04:41,570 you know, into the ambulance and I remember. 109 00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:42,800 Look like her. Get out. 110 00:04:42,810 --> 00:04:45,560 Of my way, it's clearly, but it's not, it's not hurt me, you 111 00:04:45,570 --> 00:04:49,080 know, but we were on the IT was very, very painful and we were 112 00:04:49,090 --> 00:04:50,720 in the ambulance going past school. 113 00:04:50,730 --> 00:04:54,630 It was the year we were being very badly bullied and um, I 114 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,220 remember looking at the school is going past gone. 115 00:04:56,230 --> 00:04:57,560 Thank God I don't have to go there. 116 00:04:57,570 --> 00:05:00,440 You know, it's not awful. And apparently this is lovely 117 00:05:00,450 --> 00:05:03,230 now apparently, um, when they were told that I was knocked 118 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:06,850 down by a car, they all started chanting dead, dead, dead, dead. 119 00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,600 So that was nice. Thanks for that guys. 120 00:05:08,670 --> 00:05:11,190 And what actually happened your? Leg So Danielle said she looked 121 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:14,030 at us when we got to Lachlan's town emergency room and it was 122 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,270 like she said it was like a rainbow. 123 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:18,680 It was just completely so that the big bone is at the tibia. 124 00:05:18,690 --> 00:05:21,570 The fibia can never remember was snapped completely into and it 125 00:05:21,580 --> 00:05:23,770 had pushed the little bone out through the. 126 00:05:23,780 --> 00:05:27,210 Scales. God and I was in a cast for like 127 00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:32,130 3 or 4 months it was hell and my leg was like green and tiny and 128 00:05:32,140 --> 00:05:35,810 covered in hair and had mushroom leg mushy. 129 00:05:35,820 --> 00:05:38,030 He was a really small like mushrooms growing in the heel. 130 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:41,140 It was just looking disgusting. Yeah, it's the skin. 131 00:05:41,150 --> 00:05:42,600 So tell me about your knocked out. 132 00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:44,020 I can't believe you're knocked down as well. 133 00:05:44,130 --> 00:05:47,640 Yeah, ironically outside the main exit to Watford. 134 00:05:47,650 --> 00:05:51,710 A&E. Really just on the. 135 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:55,150 Roundabout just go back into Waterford that and then. 136 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:56,470 Alright, no, I'll tell you what happened. 137 00:05:56,860 --> 00:05:59,090 Mine was lost. Much less dramatic than yours. 138 00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:01,830 So I was cycling. I used to cycle BMX a lot. 139 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:03,710 Yeah. And like, do them up and, like, 140 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:05,980 remake them and put the wheels back on and spray them. 141 00:06:06,020 --> 00:06:09,030 You're very cool. So I had this bike that I loved. 142 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,950 It was cycling to my friend's house in the dark, no lights and 143 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,920 a BMX. And a BMX is like lower down 144 00:06:13,930 --> 00:06:16,850 than a normal bike, so it's just under the eyeline of the car 145 00:06:16,860 --> 00:06:19,080 that was getting on the roundabout. 146 00:06:19,090 --> 00:06:21,440 And I think that he was trying to get ahead of the traffic. 147 00:06:21,450 --> 00:06:24,500 Yeah. So he sped up, but from about 50 148 00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:26,380 metres away, I knew that he was going to hit me. 149 00:06:26,830 --> 00:06:29,940 So I was just like, this is it? I'm gone, I'm done. 150 00:06:29,950 --> 00:06:32,320 He's gonna like, bam. And it was like bang on. 151 00:06:32,330 --> 00:06:33,840 So I was already on the roundabout. 152 00:06:33,950 --> 00:06:36,320 So I was like, pedalled as fast as I could. 153 00:06:36,370 --> 00:06:38,830 I closed my eyes and I knew that I was going to go. 154 00:06:39,130 --> 00:06:41,660 And he hit like the back. I'm even talking about it now. 155 00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:44,220 It's like, yeah, even talking about it now. 156 00:06:44,230 --> 00:06:47,860 Like I think the tyres are really small, is 22 inch tyre. 157 00:06:48,090 --> 00:06:50,350 He hit the back of the tyre and didn't touch me. 158 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:54,350 So literally there was a space of about this much that could 159 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:55,570 have like. Nothing happened to. 160 00:06:55,580 --> 00:06:57,590 You. Yeah, I fell on my right side. 161 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:00,690 I spun. Yeah. 5 cars stopped and I 162 00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:02,210 remember doing the same. Sorry. 163 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:05,930 Sorry. OK, I'm terrible. 164 00:07:05,940 --> 00:07:07,700 I've got out. Of his car and he was like ohh 165 00:07:07,710 --> 00:07:09,190 fuck like. Really making a? 166 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,000 Bigger scene than I could ever imagine. 167 00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:12,330 That's the way it was in my head anyway. 168 00:07:12,340 --> 00:07:14,620 He was probably like ohh God. What have I done? 169 00:07:14,630 --> 00:07:17,640 What pick me up? Don't be so embarrassing. 170 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,510 Like stop it. So he was like, Oh my God, I was 171 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:23,320 like, ohh, no, honestly, I'm OK. It's like I was like, how's my 172 00:07:23,330 --> 00:07:26,460 bike like thinking? And I realised this entire was I 173 00:07:26,470 --> 00:07:29,120 got back on the bike and fucking cycled off. 174 00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:32,260 All my right side just ripped. I didn't go to hospital 175 00:07:32,270 --> 00:07:34,510 anything. The first thing I did was when 176 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:37,660 the shock set in and I felt the pain, rang my dad and I was 177 00:07:37,670 --> 00:07:41,000 like, dad, really weird. So dad, don't tell mom. 178 00:07:41,190 --> 00:07:43,760 Yeah, knocked over and he said I can't hear you speak up. 179 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:47,340 It's like I got knocked over by a car and he's like, yeah, no, 180 00:07:47,350 --> 00:07:48,940 I'm okay. I'm cycling my bike. 181 00:07:48,950 --> 00:07:51,620 I'm halfway down to Art Keane, just come and pick me up. 182 00:07:51,740 --> 00:07:53,030 And I was like this when he came. 183 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,440 But like not, didn't, didn't end up going to hospital for 184 00:07:55,450 --> 00:07:58,560 anything. And I like, I had a scratch from 185 00:07:58,610 --> 00:08:00,720 like there, all the way down there right side. 186 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,870 It was like, you know, tarmac bruise. 187 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,710 Yeah. Bruised for a long, long time, 188 00:08:05,380 --> 00:08:08,060 but like, absolutely fine. Is weird that shock does that 189 00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:09,530 doesn't. Answer so fucking. 190 00:08:09,540 --> 00:08:12,590 Strange. So I I had Lou and we were going 191 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,410 to the zoo. Loom was about 1 1/2 two maybe 192 00:08:15,420 --> 00:08:18,370 and we were parked up in Phoenix Park along the grass. 193 00:08:18,380 --> 00:08:21,000 It was when you could park along the grass and I was carrying 194 00:08:21,010 --> 00:08:22,320 them. Stand me. 195 00:08:22,330 --> 00:08:24,180 We just stepped down. I just stepped down onto the 196 00:08:24,190 --> 00:08:26,520 road and whatever way, you know, your ankle kind of goes out from 197 00:08:26,530 --> 00:08:27,710 under. That happened. 198 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:30,700 But we both fell and I fell with Luan in my arms and Lewin's 199 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,570 head. You could just hear like that, 200 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:35,630 you know, And I always got such because it was little head. 201 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,840 And luckily Loom was born with a deformity because of his head. 202 00:08:38,850 --> 00:08:41,419 His head got stuck in the birthing canal, my birthing 203 00:08:41,429 --> 00:08:42,900 canal. His head was misshapen. 204 00:08:48,030 --> 00:08:50,860 Yeah, he had this calcified kind of big bump on his head, which 205 00:08:50,870 --> 00:08:52,800 he's just then had to go for surgery for her. 206 00:08:52,810 --> 00:08:55,020 But, um, that actually saved him. 207 00:08:55,030 --> 00:08:57,200 He landed on that. She was very thick bone. 208 00:08:57,410 --> 00:09:00,360 So I was so freaked out by that and I was like, no, my leg is 209 00:09:00,370 --> 00:09:02,670 quite sore. But Fergus like grandly stop and 210 00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:03,730 I called an ambulance straight away. 211 00:09:03,740 --> 00:09:05,770 I was like, I need to get ambulance for my son Virgos. 212 00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:07,400 Like look like he's fine. He's grand. 213 00:09:07,470 --> 00:09:09,840 You're grand. Fargo's like you're you're fine. 214 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:12,200 Like kind of stuff make you see. Now he didn't mean to be like 215 00:09:12,210 --> 00:09:17,910 that, but I I kind of his panic was his panic is yet his panic 216 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,750 is to don't overreact. My panic is probably overreact. 217 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,470 But then it was more about Lou and loom was okay and I was 218 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,490 like, okay, maybe I can move, maybe my my. 219 00:09:25,540 --> 00:09:28,090 But I remembered the feeling of breaking something like this 220 00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:31,010 feels weird. So we walked around the zoo and 221 00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:34,350 I was limping and I could feel my foot getting bigger and 222 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,530 bigger and bigger. But I was in such shock after 223 00:09:36,540 --> 00:09:39,450 what had happened because it was 1 moment walking, second moment 224 00:09:39,460 --> 00:09:42,590 worrying I'd killed my child. It was so scary. 225 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:46,290 And as he continued on, walked around the zoo, 45 minutes, my 226 00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:49,730 bastard, you know, Chuck again, you know, and I was like, okay, 227 00:09:49,740 --> 00:09:51,670 I'm going to think we need to go home. 228 00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:53,690 I had to drive home for didn't drive at the time. 229 00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:55,370 So I drove from Phoenix Park to Greystone. 230 00:09:55,380 --> 00:09:58,300 So like an hour. And literally as soon as the 231 00:09:58,310 --> 00:10:00,340 front door closed, I started screaming. 232 00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:03,950 I was like my leg, it's not OK. Turns out it was broken the 233 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,510 ankle and torn ligament and you know, I was on crutches for a 234 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,400 few weeks. Then and then you wonder like 235 00:10:08,410 --> 00:10:09,890 because there's personality types. 236 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:12,390 Well, is it like the dramatisation of stuff? 237 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,690 Because there's people that like I've been today and plenty of 238 00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:17,930 times and there's triage nurses going so you fucking couple of 239 00:10:17,940 --> 00:10:19,650 stitches. Yeah, I've been here down the 240 00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:20,910 road. Like they know that in the. 241 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:24,450 PEDs like a child not crying and then he isn't going into ICU. 242 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:26,500 But I think it's shock. I think shock does that to you. 243 00:10:26,510 --> 00:10:28,570 I mean, I think it's actually something like if like if I had 244 00:10:28,580 --> 00:10:31,490 a finger flapping off and I wasn't in shock about it, I'll 245 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,950 be ohh nail. Like I nearly caught my nail in 246 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,100 the. Drama or like or like even on 247 00:10:36,110 --> 00:10:38,450 the topic of death at a funeral. You know, the one who hardly 248 00:10:38,460 --> 00:10:40,820 knew the person, but they're making the most amount of noise 249 00:10:40,830 --> 00:10:42,950 about. It ohh yeah big chief chief 250 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:46,620 mourner that's a man she really. Yeah, that's for real. 251 00:10:46,630 --> 00:10:48,820 Ohh yeah, that's a. First hand experience of that 252 00:10:48,830 --> 00:10:50,640 and everyone's like she fucking hated her ohh. 253 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,320 She doing No, I was joking with you. 254 00:10:52,330 --> 00:10:55,310 Sorry, you actually actually saw Banshee. 255 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:58,850 But no, like she was wailing around the place and everyone 256 00:10:58,860 --> 00:11:01,740 knew like, ohh, sure, like, you know, obviously the deceased was 257 00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:04,330 wasn't that close to her, but she was the one at the front of 258 00:11:04,340 --> 00:11:06,080 the room making the biggest scene. 259 00:11:06,090 --> 00:11:09,340 So they did used to hire women back in the day. 260 00:11:09,350 --> 00:11:11,280 No way. How much would they be paid? 261 00:11:11,330 --> 00:11:15,050 I don't know, but they were good tax back now on the scale of of 262 00:11:15,060 --> 00:11:16,600 the of the jobs that we're talking about. 263 00:11:18,140 --> 00:11:19,570 Where are you? What, Laura? 264 00:11:19,580 --> 00:11:21,870 Women were hired. Yeah, back in the day. 265 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:23,670 To funerals. What? 266 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:26,510 Yeah, to follow the coffin and cry because they'd want to like 267 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,110 more pomp and ceremony for the kind of the mourning. 268 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,870 Of it, this one definitely wasn't hard. 269 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:35,060 But I'll tell you now at my mum's funeral, so my mum was 270 00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:38,550 diagnosed with leukaemia on the 28th of November 1998. 271 00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:41,390 So we were 13 and she died 4 weeks later. 272 00:11:41,430 --> 00:11:43,750 So she was, yeah, it was very, very, very quick. 273 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,890 So sorry. She was diagnosed on the 25th, 274 00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:48,450 died on the 28th of December. So it was hideous. 275 00:11:48,710 --> 00:11:52,090 And, you know, she's only just come back to live with dad four 276 00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:54,300 years prior. And then all of a sudden she was 277 00:11:54,310 --> 00:11:56,040 sick. And then she was, she was dead. 278 00:11:56,170 --> 00:12:00,120 And at my mum's funeral, the weirdest thing, I couldn't stop 279 00:12:00,130 --> 00:12:02,330 laughing. And again, shock and the 280 00:12:02,340 --> 00:12:04,540 weirdness, I was crying. Yeah, I was kind of going, this 281 00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:06,920 is the worst place to laugh. And me and my sister were like, 282 00:12:06,930 --> 00:12:08,900 if we laugh now, we're fucking weirdos like you. 283 00:12:08,910 --> 00:12:11,520 Know I'm one of those people. But my mum really leaned into 284 00:12:11,530 --> 00:12:13,930 the death thing. That sounds so weird but like I 285 00:12:13,940 --> 00:12:15,850 remember. Playing right into that. 286 00:12:16,010 --> 00:12:19,420 She got over heels into the fucking thing, got to plan her 287 00:12:19,430 --> 00:12:21,880 own funeral, and she kind of got, you know, like she 288 00:12:21,890 --> 00:12:23,590 obviously hated the fact that she was dying. 289 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:27,750 She was only 41, same age. I'm turning, which is weird, but 290 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,270 she, she, she got to kind of, she was a dramatic person. 291 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:31,880 She got. I mean, it's like, I know I 292 00:12:31,890 --> 00:12:34,230 would be if I was dying. I want everybody to, like, come 293 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:36,240 and pay their respects before, before I die. 294 00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:38,010 So I get to see the kind of thing, you know. 295 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:41,970 And she, she, I remember she was lying on the bed once with the 296 00:12:41,980 --> 00:12:46,070 cat demon cat on her on her lap and the dog as well. 297 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:48,250 And she was like this so therapeutic, you know, when 298 00:12:48,260 --> 00:12:50,920 you're going through things like this and then always like this. 299 00:12:50,930 --> 00:12:53,210 Yeah. Jumps up and attacks the dog. 300 00:12:53,220 --> 00:12:55,790 The dog runs off. And she was on a waterbed. 301 00:12:55,800 --> 00:13:00,460 So it was all like flailing, but she she did say to us that this 302 00:13:00,470 --> 00:13:03,150 is actually really helpful. I've said it many people who've 303 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:07,180 lost parents in the past and she said, look, you know, when I die 304 00:13:07,310 --> 00:13:10,470 and I will, I will always live on myself. 305 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,940 My sister like, yeah, okay, new age is small, you know, alright, 306 00:13:12,950 --> 00:13:16,720 okay, cosmic debris Kumbaya mum. She was like, no, I mean, it's 307 00:13:16,730 --> 00:13:20,490 like half my DNA is in you, half of it is in Danielle, half of it 308 00:13:20,610 --> 00:13:23,330 is in the boys. So I will live on like 309 00:13:23,340 --> 00:13:25,560 technically, you know, there's and I, I loved that it was 310 00:13:25,570 --> 00:13:27,230 really comforting and I have. Said this to me. 311 00:13:27,860 --> 00:13:45,440 Parents, Oh my Like I would think about her 312 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:49,930 everyday and I was and it's such a long time ago, but I think we 313 00:13:49,940 --> 00:13:53,830 we can we can kind of get caught up in this idea. 314 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,070 Not caught up. So it's very natural of grief 315 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,630 and grief hits you. Yes, whoa, it's the Cliff edge. 316 00:13:58,640 --> 00:13:59,930 It's it's like that person's now gone. 317 00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:03,610 No matter how I felt about them. It's that in the finite mind 318 00:14:03,620 --> 00:14:05,870 kicks in because I think we just can't. 319 00:14:05,940 --> 00:14:09,130 We just we put child death on a shelf until until we have to 320 00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,020 deal with. It How do you feel? 321 00:14:10,030 --> 00:14:15,110 About you for me. And after, that's amazing, 322 00:14:15,180 --> 00:14:17,610 amazing way to think about it. I think what your mum said, she 323 00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:20,600 was really fucking beautiful and I've never thought about it like 324 00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:21,430 that either. How do you feel? 325 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:24,350 About it for you, I feel probably a lot more aware of 326 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:27,040 dress. I think having had mum, someone 327 00:14:27,050 --> 00:14:29,480 close to us die at such a young age. 328 00:14:29,590 --> 00:14:32,380 Um, you're, you kind of go round and I'm sure it happens to 329 00:14:32,390 --> 00:14:34,990 people now when someone close to you dies, you, you kind of just 330 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,700 expect everybody to die and you're so aware of mortality. 331 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,340 And I think that doesn't go away now. 332 00:14:39,350 --> 00:14:42,360 It's not like I'm picturing myself dying everyday, but I 333 00:14:42,370 --> 00:14:44,680 think I am aware of it. But that trickles down. 334 00:14:44,690 --> 00:14:47,260 Like my kids are kind of aware of people dying at a young age 335 00:14:47,270 --> 00:14:50,040 because they know Grandma Fiona died when I was 13 as well. 336 00:14:50,050 --> 00:14:52,940 So it's I, I think I'm not afraid to talk about death. 337 00:14:53,010 --> 00:14:54,250 I'm not afraid. Of you scared of it for 338 00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:56,110 yourself? No, neither. 339 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,380 Have you planned your own funeral? 340 00:14:57,390 --> 00:14:59,190 Like in your head? What what, what do you want? 341 00:14:59,350 --> 00:15:02,710 Because mine is definitely. Want someone to turn up in one 342 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:04,490 of those giant blow up T Rex costumes? 343 00:15:04,540 --> 00:15:06,410 Okay, just one person out of the. 344 00:15:06,420 --> 00:15:08,990 Hole not explained and. Completely unexplained. 345 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,050 Nobody knows who's going to do it, but someone is going to do 346 00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:12,880 it. So for listening guys. 347 00:15:13,020 --> 00:15:16,370 What's your song? I'd have chosen a song, but I 348 00:15:16,380 --> 00:15:21,620 have imagined just a joyous occasion. 349 00:15:21,770 --> 00:15:27,270 Like I have imagined like, yeah, just people being people as they 350 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:30,560 were to me. Yeah, I don't exactly so hard. 351 00:15:30,740 --> 00:15:34,470 I don't expect and like, I don't want it to be like almost a big 352 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,730 deal like. I know and it's just so hard to 353 00:15:36,740 --> 00:15:39,310 say that because actually the death is for death is for the 354 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,450 living, you know, and grief is for the living. 355 00:15:41,460 --> 00:15:44,710 So it's hard to say that because mum, she did get a planner 356 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,030 funeral and she's. All the laughing. 357 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:48,370 All the crying, she wanted that. Yeah, not necessarily the. 358 00:15:48,380 --> 00:15:49,670 Alcohol. Yeah, like you. 359 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:52,670 Know mum was like and maybe an egg sandwich. 360 00:15:53,990 --> 00:15:55,250 No, actually I don't. Fuck them. 361 00:15:55,260 --> 00:15:56,550 They can have an egg salad sandwich. 362 00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:59,440 Like something really obscure like sushi, Yeah. 363 00:15:59,450 --> 00:16:03,050 Yeah, pizzas. Yeah, like slices. 364 00:16:03,090 --> 00:16:04,610 Yeah, exactly. Pizza slices. 365 00:16:04,620 --> 00:16:06,870 Yeah. No, my mum got plan her funeral 366 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,630 and she said I want everyone wearing white. 367 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:10,760 You know, I don't black. I want this to be a celebration 368 00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:12,540 of my life. Not not I don't talk about my 369 00:16:12,550 --> 00:16:14,910 death, which I get, but it is kind of also hard. 370 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:17,050 It's not up to the dead, It's up to the living. 371 00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:18,740 The kind of is up to the living, you know what I mean? 372 00:16:18,750 --> 00:16:22,240 And I I think it's but fine. You do need to serve out wishes 373 00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:23,910 as well. Mum said I'm just going to have 374 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:26,320 a piss piss up in the house and it was on New Year's Eve was her 375 00:16:26,330 --> 00:16:29,040 funeral and I remember, but my only memories of that night was 376 00:16:29,050 --> 00:16:34,410 like, and so one was at my my oldest brother's best friend 377 00:16:34,420 --> 00:16:36,260 Downing a pint of Guinness in three seconds. 378 00:16:36,270 --> 00:16:39,670 That was amazing. Whoa, me and all of my friends, 379 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:41,390 like very close childhood friends. 380 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,770 We. All slept puking up by us. 381 00:16:44,290 --> 00:16:46,480 Sat in the front room, we all had a sleepover there. 382 00:16:46,490 --> 00:16:49,440 It was great fun and the the their mum's funeral was apart 383 00:16:49,450 --> 00:16:51,070 from the burying part, on the church part. 384 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,750 But like the, the half, the wake was just really good fun and it 385 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,450 was such a relief to kind of have it done. 386 00:16:55,460 --> 00:16:58,040 Do you know what I mean? And then another memory. 387 00:16:58,050 --> 00:17:01,700 Is who took who took, Um, the management of. 388 00:17:01,930 --> 00:17:04,220 My dad through my dad. My dad, yeah. 389 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:05,920 And have gotten back. Together, they've gotten back 390 00:17:05,930 --> 00:17:06,750 together. They were married. 391 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,369 Yeah. That's so beautiful. 392 00:17:08,380 --> 00:17:11,300 Yeah. And so, um, the other memory is 393 00:17:11,310 --> 00:17:14,319 my, my one, one guy who was in the church, he was a family 394 00:17:14,329 --> 00:17:16,550 friend basically. He was, he's a black guy, but 395 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:20,569 he's from Donegal, speaks Irish. And he was in talking to my 396 00:17:20,579 --> 00:17:21,990 granny who lived in the granny flat. 397 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,190 Now this is the territory. Alcoholic turtle. 398 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:25,550 Do you know the back? Yeah. 399 00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:28,530 And she was in in on the bed and obviously she didn't go up to 400 00:17:28,540 --> 00:17:31,320 the funeral and she was, you know, dosed up with sleeping 401 00:17:31,330 --> 00:17:34,270 tablets and stuff. And a few people came in to to 402 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:37,890 pay their respects into her little Chateau fume and then her 403 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:41,390 her little smoke room. And Jim was in there for a good 404 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,530 while talking to her. And he was playing the piano or 405 00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:45,330 piano, the guitar and singing her songs. 406 00:17:45,340 --> 00:17:46,990 And she was like, ohh, I love him. 407 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,070 He's brilliant. Thank you, Jim, you're 408 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,500 fantastic. And then you got to say goodbye, 409 00:17:51,510 --> 00:17:52,790 right, Peggy? I'm going to have to go. 410 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,490 And he leaned in to give her a kiss goodbye and said, ohh, 411 00:17:55,580 --> 00:17:59,670 you're black. Only just realised what he's. 412 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:01,690 Far away, yes, she said to be over there. 413 00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:03,200 Yeah. So that was that's that's 414 00:18:03,210 --> 00:18:05,720 another nice memory of my. So any funerals you've been to 415 00:18:05,730 --> 00:18:07,830 that have been particularly strange or? 416 00:18:08,450 --> 00:18:13,330 That. Ohh wow OK broken the beast. 417 00:18:16,230 --> 00:18:18,400 No, I haven't been to many funerals. 418 00:18:18,450 --> 00:18:20,240 I really haven't been to many funerals. 419 00:18:20,250 --> 00:18:23,310 But two women in my life, my grandmother and my great 420 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:28,490 grandmother, have both told me on their approximate death bed 421 00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:31,390 in one way or another that there were so ready. 422 00:18:31,460 --> 00:18:33,470 And I think that is a beautiful thing. 423 00:18:33,830 --> 00:18:35,490 Like I, I don't care what age I am. 424 00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:38,190 I don't even care like who they knew who they were talking to or 425 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,590 not. But to say, I think it's my 426 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:43,410 time. With the dream is not. 427 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:47,050 It it really is to like and it's hard. 428 00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:50,250 It was hard for me and I, I told my grandmother that no, it 429 00:18:50,260 --> 00:18:52,770 wasn't please stay here because I need you to be here. 430 00:18:52,860 --> 00:18:57,940 I got a bit emotional now and but like, yeah, for for her to 431 00:18:57,950 --> 00:19:01,380 tell me that she was ready, It's she knew, she knew that. 432 00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:04,280 And the last thing to go is her hearing and like everything like 433 00:19:04,290 --> 00:19:05,760 that. But she knew that it was her 434 00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:08,060 time to go. I'm sure your mother did too, 435 00:19:08,070 --> 00:19:09,600 but it was such a shorter space of. 436 00:19:09,610 --> 00:19:13,330 Time 41 one thing she said one thing she said to my dad was 437 00:19:13,340 --> 00:19:15,820 like, I know it's all it's all well and good for you guys being 438 00:19:15,830 --> 00:19:17,740 upset losing me, but I'm losing all of you. 439 00:19:17,750 --> 00:19:20,640 And I do think that and she kind of in her head had a second 440 00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:23,910 chance at being her mum because she had left when we were 4-5 441 00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:26,080 years later, she got married to dad and she was just kind of 442 00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:28,990 settling into that life. I want to go back to you talk 443 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,730 about grandmother though. What made you emotional about 444 00:19:30,740 --> 00:19:34,490 that there? Because I miss her I guess. 445 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:35,400 You miss her? Yeah. 446 00:19:35,410 --> 00:19:38,440 Yeah, I really miss her. Like, but we're not like a tight 447 00:19:38,450 --> 00:19:39,890 knit family. Like I wouldn't have seen her 448 00:19:39,900 --> 00:19:43,200 every week. She lived in Longford first 449 00:19:43,210 --> 00:19:46,180 since not joking joking family. I love you all. 450 00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:50,190 Joking again. Joking, joking. 451 00:19:50,260 --> 00:19:54,290 Long forgotten county. The county with no immediately 452 00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:56,990 amenities um. What's the traffic likes? 453 00:19:57,060 --> 00:19:59,130 Oh does that. I've put it on the map centre. 454 00:19:59,140 --> 00:20:01,230 Parks in Longford isn't. It don't ask her if she knows 455 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:02,690 nothing to Google it. Yes. 456 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,470 Don't ask questions. It has one set of traffic lights 457 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,390 I hear. Yeah, ohh, just great memories. 458 00:20:08,490 --> 00:20:10,310 She was brilliant. I loved her laugh. 459 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:13,760 I think that there's a lot of her in me as well, so I felt 460 00:20:13,770 --> 00:20:15,700 that bond. But yeah, telling me that she 461 00:20:15,710 --> 00:20:18,780 wanted to go and I was holding her hand and maybe I sang our 462 00:20:18,790 --> 00:20:20,500 song. I'm sure the singing, but maybe 463 00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:23,460 I sang our song or something. And that's like, I don't know, 464 00:20:23,470 --> 00:20:26,540 it's just like. Mr. Deeply emotional it was. 465 00:20:26,550 --> 00:20:29,260 It was very. Like I think that she was. 466 00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:31,990 I think that I could feel her fear and her telling me that she 467 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:35,540 wanted to go. Another close person dying. 468 00:20:35,590 --> 00:20:38,360 And I'm so grateful that you. Did you just? 469 00:20:38,370 --> 00:20:43,200 One and a half, 1 1/2 When Audrey's grandfather died and 470 00:20:43,210 --> 00:20:47,240 you loved him and we used to always go visit him in the in 471 00:20:47,250 --> 00:20:50,300 the old folks home. And I have a really nice picture 472 00:20:50,370 --> 00:20:54,080 and I think it all encompasses death and life and death and 473 00:20:54,090 --> 00:20:57,000 life and the circular the way of things. 474 00:20:57,050 --> 00:21:00,240 Dude is just about walking but holding on to the Zimmer frame 475 00:21:00,250 --> 00:21:04,000 at the end and Ben was sitting on the chair like this, holding 476 00:21:04,010 --> 00:21:06,920 the Zimmer frame, looking down at him and it's just the two of 477 00:21:06,930 --> 00:21:09,000 them holding it because baby needs a Walker and an old. 478 00:21:09,010 --> 00:21:11,510 Needs Walker and are you? Ohh, my paint. 479 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:15,100 So fucking beautiful. So, um, so yeah. 480 00:21:15,110 --> 00:21:19,450 And seeing his whole entire family around the bed, 481 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:23,030 everyone's singing songs and laughing sporadically laughing 482 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:26,690 and crying. But being so say and they they 483 00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:29,560 gave him awake like some of the family members stayed there till 484 00:21:29,570 --> 00:21:32,510 the next morning until like the removal or whatever. 485 00:21:32,820 --> 00:21:38,900 But like seeing that your body is truly a vessel because I've 486 00:21:38,910 --> 00:21:41,450 never seen that in depth before. Like I think I only saw one of 487 00:21:41,460 --> 00:21:43,380 my friends when I was like 15 and I didn't. 488 00:21:43,390 --> 00:21:47,040 Know, Oh my God. Yeah, and my she was actually my 489 00:21:47,050 --> 00:21:51,260 next door neighbor. Um, but seeing the difference 490 00:21:51,270 --> 00:21:53,670 and in the such a short space of time being at the. 491 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:56,680 Bedside just being. Gone just, and it's not the 492 00:21:56,690 --> 00:22:00,170 person anymore and it's so definitively not the person. 493 00:22:00,180 --> 00:22:03,150 And then you realise that they were filled with something and 494 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:06,590 this is just a vessel like so clear as day that they've gone 495 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:08,680 somewhere else and they're happy being somewhere else because 496 00:22:08,690 --> 00:22:10,370 they know that their families all around and they know that 497 00:22:10,380 --> 00:22:13,420 they had a good life. I want I, I feel, I feel like 498 00:22:13,430 --> 00:22:17,460 I'm not scared of death now, but knowing this, that you're like, 499 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,840 no, come on, like nobody wants to die alone now. 500 00:22:19,850 --> 00:22:22,590 Do you know, nobody wants to like, you know, God bless all 501 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:26,840 those fucking if there's a God or whoever you are, whatever you 502 00:22:26,850 --> 00:22:28,950 are. Okay, yeah, yeah, countdown. 503 00:22:29,610 --> 00:22:33,010 Hardcore atheist, no deal. Okay, but like God bless all 504 00:22:33,020 --> 00:22:36,580 those people in in COVID who were separated and everything 505 00:22:36,590 --> 00:22:38,400 like that. And I think that it's just a 506 00:22:38,410 --> 00:22:41,410 really fucking beautiful thing. It's the most beautiful thing in 507 00:22:41,420 --> 00:22:44,520 the world apart from. Giving birth or birth, yeah, I 508 00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:46,610 know. It is like wow. 509 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,920 I was blown away. I was so delighted that you got 510 00:22:48,930 --> 00:22:50,790 to see it. Jude went over and patted him on 511 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,580 the head and everything. Like, no, no. 512 00:22:55,160 --> 00:23:00,350 And but like, just seeing the stark difference of life. 513 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,210 Yes. And you're like, holy shit. 514 00:23:02,220 --> 00:23:03,910 I didn't. Like, you hear people talking 515 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,170 about it, but I haven't experienced it until, like, 516 00:23:06,220 --> 00:23:09,130 until two years ago. I think it's nearly 2 years, a 517 00:23:09,140 --> 00:23:11,830 year and a half since he died. But like, the difference of 518 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:15,780 visually seeing a vessel where once something lived inside and 519 00:23:15,790 --> 00:23:18,430 now it's gone somewhere else. And this is not it without that. 520 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:20,310 I think another thing that was beautiful about what you're 521 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,730 describing there is, is how death brings us together. 522 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,750 Yeah. I mean, obviously, as you spoke 523 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:26,550 about the COVID thing, that was absolutely horrendous. 524 00:23:26,630 --> 00:23:29,060 So inhumane. The people couldn't be together 525 00:23:29,070 --> 00:23:31,960 when people lost loved ones was absolutely horrendous. 526 00:23:31,970 --> 00:23:33,740 I've seen a couple of friends go through that actually. 527 00:23:33,750 --> 00:23:37,390 But, um, this, this bringing people together, my mum's wake, 528 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:40,480 this kind of, this, this beautiful piece of it. 529 00:23:40,490 --> 00:23:45,690 But actually, when my mother died, um, the day she died, we 530 00:23:45,700 --> 00:23:48,510 were brought into the hospital and we weren't expecting this 531 00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:52,680 because it was so sudden and she was upstairs and we went up to 532 00:23:52,690 --> 00:23:55,180 say her goodbyes because we were told, look, she probably is 533 00:23:55,190 --> 00:23:58,810 going to die days. And then we went downstairs on 534 00:23:58,820 --> 00:24:01,130 myself, my sister and my 3, three older brothers were 535 00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:04,750 sitting in, in one place And, and up until then we had been 536 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:06,730 quite scattered. So we had lived, we had lived 537 00:24:06,740 --> 00:24:08,780 together. Then two of the boys left and 538 00:24:08,790 --> 00:24:11,390 then they came back and, you know, so we never really been 539 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,590 all in one room for quite a while at this point. 540 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:16,290 My brother had been living in Australia for a while and we 541 00:24:16,300 --> 00:24:19,330 were sitting together and we were talking about South Park 542 00:24:19,340 --> 00:24:21,980 and Hanky the Christmas poo was big black Christmas. 543 00:24:21,990 --> 00:24:23,850 Love that guy. And we were all talking about it 544 00:24:23,860 --> 00:24:25,790 when we were trying to explain, I think one of one of the guys 545 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,500 hadn't seen it or. And we were trying to explain 546 00:24:27,510 --> 00:24:29,080 them dancing Christmas poo. Yeah. 547 00:24:29,090 --> 00:24:31,250 And we were talking about it. So we were all laughing about 548 00:24:31,260 --> 00:24:32,600 this and all of us were laughing. 549 00:24:32,610 --> 00:24:36,980 And just as we all laughed, I knew it happened because I was 550 00:24:36,990 --> 00:24:38,820 like, ohh. And then my mum's best friend 551 00:24:38,830 --> 00:24:40,970 Mabel came up to me and said, do you wanna go upstairs, sweetie? 552 00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:43,670 And I said apart. He said I don't want to cause I 553 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,320 know she's dead. And the other part of me said I, 554 00:24:46,810 --> 00:24:48,600 I need to. And I went up. 555 00:24:48,610 --> 00:24:50,380 I'm getting goosebumps thinking and getting out of emotional 556 00:24:50,390 --> 00:24:51,640 thinking about it. I haven't in years. 557 00:24:51,650 --> 00:24:55,590 I'm so used to talking about it. But yeah, I said no, we'll go 558 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:56,880 up. And I went up and she was dead. 559 00:24:56,890 --> 00:25:01,260 And I I did choose Squid and see her and exactly that that 560 00:25:01,270 --> 00:25:04,220 someone you know, that's that's just a vessel. 561 00:25:04,270 --> 00:25:06,720 As you said, it's it's. Thought it would be scary. 562 00:25:06,810 --> 00:25:08,300 Did you think it was gonna be scary? 563 00:25:08,310 --> 00:25:10,460 And that's why you're here now. I have seen dead bodies since 564 00:25:10,470 --> 00:25:11,550 I've been fucking freaked out by it. 565 00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:13,680 But I think it was Mum. It was, I knew it was something 566 00:25:13,690 --> 00:25:17,220 I needed to do. Um, interestingly, this is a 567 00:25:17,230 --> 00:25:19,820 strange kind of more spiritual part of it. 568 00:25:19,830 --> 00:25:23,050 But when mum was sick for those four weeks, we could never hug 569 00:25:23,060 --> 00:25:25,300 her that much. And I, we, I would always try to 570 00:25:25,310 --> 00:25:28,420 get onto her lap and hug her because she had left us and then 571 00:25:28,430 --> 00:25:30,410 come back. I was always kind of trying not 572 00:25:30,420 --> 00:25:31,690 to take for granted that she was there. 573 00:25:31,700 --> 00:25:34,250 So I would be very, very needy child and cling on to her. 574 00:25:34,340 --> 00:25:36,910 But we couldn't hug her that much because she was frail or 575 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:37,570 she was. Yeah. 576 00:25:37,580 --> 00:25:41,210 She, her lines, all the bloods going later, veins very sore and 577 00:25:41,220 --> 00:25:43,410 it was just difficult on hospital bed. 578 00:25:43,780 --> 00:25:49,680 And um, I remember praying before I went into the hospital. 579 00:25:49,690 --> 00:25:52,000 I just wanna hug her. I just wanna hug her one more 580 00:25:52,010 --> 00:25:53,380 time. That didn't happen. 581 00:25:53,430 --> 00:25:56,420 She, she died. And that night I went home 582 00:25:56,810 --> 00:25:57,920 again. The shock piece. 583 00:25:57,930 --> 00:25:59,660 I don't think I slept like a baby that night. 584 00:25:59,670 --> 00:26:02,850 And, and I woke up because in the middle of a dream was in the 585 00:26:02,860 --> 00:26:06,310 middle of a dream about nothing. And out of nowhere, my mom 586 00:26:06,450 --> 00:26:10,270 appears in the, in the dream and she walks from the periphery. 587 00:26:10,310 --> 00:26:12,280 She's looking to head out or something. 588 00:26:12,350 --> 00:26:14,500 And I said mum and she said, hmm. 589 00:26:14,690 --> 00:26:17,170 I said but sure, I was about to say, but you're dead grandma. 590 00:26:17,670 --> 00:26:19,620 And then nothing. And then the two of us hugged 591 00:26:19,670 --> 00:26:21,560 Jesus. And she was wearing this is the 592 00:26:21,570 --> 00:26:25,760 weirdest car I know. She was wearing what I didn't 593 00:26:25,770 --> 00:26:28,660 pick for her, but her two best friends picked for her to bury, 594 00:26:28,810 --> 00:26:30,990 to bury her in. So she's wearing this you 595 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:31,960 already? Knew. 596 00:26:32,390 --> 00:26:35,390 That it was again, only copped a few days later, like that's what 597 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,440 that's what she was wearing, that's what she wants. 598 00:26:37,830 --> 00:26:41,300 And it was it was absolutely. Now look, you could just say it 599 00:26:41,310 --> 00:26:43,840 was amazing and it was such a strange dream. 600 00:26:43,850 --> 00:26:46,370 I've I've I've analysed it so many times. 601 00:26:46,380 --> 00:26:48,050 It was there, the silence was deafening. 602 00:26:48,060 --> 00:26:49,920 It was like when you put your ear up to a shell. 603 00:26:49,930 --> 00:26:54,460 It was such a spiritual piece, you know, and it was it was just 604 00:26:54,470 --> 00:26:57,040 unbelievable, but it was it was really comforting, you know what 605 00:26:57,050 --> 00:26:58,920 I mean? And whether that was memory or 606 00:26:58,930 --> 00:27:02,260 actually spiritual or whatever you want, we do have the power 607 00:27:02,270 --> 00:27:04,950 to get through death. We we do have the strength. 608 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,110 We can draw it from within. We can draw from the person 609 00:27:07,120 --> 00:27:09,180 we've lost. And I think we can definitely 610 00:27:09,250 --> 00:27:12,220 draw from, you know, our our brother's friends Downing a pint 611 00:27:12,230 --> 00:27:14,900 of Guinness or, you know, you said you patting him on the. 612 00:27:14,910 --> 00:27:17,580 Head no fucking fit a laughter 100. 613 00:27:17,590 --> 00:27:20,770 No reason, no reason. You want that though. 100% I'd 614 00:27:20,780 --> 00:27:22,990 like we were laughing. I know for a fact we were 615 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,610 laughing at the Christmas poo. That is when she died because it 616 00:27:25,620 --> 00:27:28,030 is exactly when she died. She was 139. 617 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:30,120 I think it was in the. Afternoon cooking class, though. 618 00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:32,550 It's amazing and I thank you so much. 619 00:27:32,740 --> 00:27:35,550 But also, like, I grew up thinking that was scary. 620 00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:38,410 Like, you know, I remember my childhood Guinea pig died and I 621 00:27:38,420 --> 00:27:39,830 didn't want to pick it up because I was scared. 622 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,250 It's dead body. Like, you know, there's all 623 00:27:42,260 --> 00:27:47,210 these, like, you know, movies about ghosts and like, coldness 624 00:27:47,340 --> 00:27:51,280 and finally finality. It's it's, we're taught to be 625 00:27:51,290 --> 00:27:54,100 scared of it. We are taught in our society, 626 00:27:54,110 --> 00:27:56,260 our culture. Running that separation, that 627 00:27:56,270 --> 00:28:00,130 immediate knowing that the body is just there to hold us and 628 00:28:00,140 --> 00:28:02,460 there's something inside is what makes us, but there's something 629 00:28:02,470 --> 00:28:06,270 inside is is not tangible. It's like this subjective 630 00:28:06,430 --> 00:28:08,340 energy. It is literally all it is. 631 00:28:08,350 --> 00:28:11,750 Is, I mean, I suppose we're talking about those situations 632 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:15,260 where death is expected and we like they're there are people 633 00:28:15,270 --> 00:28:18,250 taken well before their time and really tragic incidents, cancers 634 00:28:18,260 --> 00:28:19,920 that around and say it was beautiful and stunning, you 635 00:28:19,930 --> 00:28:21,970 know, and I don't want to detract from anybody who's lost 636 00:28:21,980 --> 00:28:23,720 someone, ohh, of course, or anything like that. 637 00:28:24,370 --> 00:28:27,030 But I think I think we need to what we want to do is we just 638 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,340 explore death and and that idea when you talked about nearly 639 00:28:30,350 --> 00:28:32,600 being knocked down in the car. I thought I was. 640 00:28:32,610 --> 00:28:35,410 Gone 100 lbs so strange. I don't know that I've ever, I 641 00:28:35,420 --> 00:28:38,700 think the clothes I've ever felt to death was was being in 642 00:28:38,710 --> 00:28:40,340 labour. Not that I thought was death, 643 00:28:40,350 --> 00:28:42,970 but I didn't have the epidural on Ray. 644 00:28:43,030 --> 00:28:45,450 And I remember that feeling of when I was going through the 645 00:28:45,460 --> 00:28:47,160 transition, which I didn't realise I was then, which is 646 00:28:47,170 --> 00:28:48,480 when your body goes from 9:00 to 10:00. 647 00:28:48,550 --> 00:28:50,920 And me just anyone who doesn't know, ohh, God, they call us 648 00:28:50,930 --> 00:28:54,910 transition because that's when the woman just goes, it's just 649 00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:56,550 leave the drugs. And the only way I would 650 00:28:56,560 --> 00:29:00,590 describe it is it's not corporal anymore, corporeal anymore. 651 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:02,240 It's, it's, it's, it's not physical. 652 00:29:02,250 --> 00:29:05,490 It's, it is spiritual. You're like, I, I like, I'm 653 00:29:05,500 --> 00:29:07,820 standing at the corner of the gates of heaven and hell. 654 00:29:07,830 --> 00:29:10,470 That's what I felt like I was, I had to be moved from the pool 655 00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:13,590 room up to another room. And I remember thinking a hole 656 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:16,190 had opened up in front of me and I was like, just fucking I wanna 657 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:17,650 die. Like I want to die because you 658 00:29:17,660 --> 00:29:19,420 really wanted. I don't know why and actually 659 00:29:19,430 --> 00:29:22,850 would love to know the the actual enterprise. 660 00:29:22,860 --> 00:29:25,700 The GMT probably in the brain. Thing it is, but it is. 661 00:29:25,810 --> 00:29:28,060 And you're begging for death. A lot of women beg for death. 662 00:29:28,070 --> 00:29:30,280 They close the windows because they're like, women try and get 663 00:29:30,290 --> 00:29:32,260 out the doors. And I don't know, Katie, did you 664 00:29:32,270 --> 00:29:34,120 beg for death at one point? Yeah. 665 00:29:34,170 --> 00:29:37,700 Yeah, what? I wanted. 666 00:29:38,210 --> 00:29:41,160 The scalpel to cut your hands and my God, yeah, yeah, yeah. 667 00:29:41,230 --> 00:29:42,660 You. That was on summer, was it? 668 00:29:42,910 --> 00:29:45,340 Yeah. I mean, it's just like it is 669 00:29:45,350 --> 00:29:48,860 just it, it's true insanity. It is. 670 00:29:48,870 --> 00:29:50,790 And would you agree with that, the heaven and hell thing as 671 00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:52,510 well? Yeah, It's, it's spiritual, like 672 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,460 you're moved like it's, it's just anyway. 673 00:29:55,470 --> 00:29:57,750 So that's. Yeah, but like you're putting 674 00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:02,320 words to it as best you can, but really it's just, it's mind 675 00:30:02,330 --> 00:30:05,100 boggling. I know it's, it's, it's just 676 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:07,140 incredible. It's like it's a miracle. 677 00:30:07,530 --> 00:30:09,150 The it's the only way you can describe it. 678 00:30:09,230 --> 00:30:11,940 It's so and so and so is death in that same regard. 679 00:30:11,950 --> 00:30:14,900 And being on the precipice and you know, you having been 680 00:30:14,910 --> 00:30:18,180 through, you know, going, having such struggles with your mental 681 00:30:18,190 --> 00:30:20,140 health and stuff and being on the verge. 682 00:30:20,190 --> 00:30:23,660 I've never been that close to wanting to end end at all like 683 00:30:23,670 --> 00:30:27,260 or foreseeing it. Like, you know, obviously 684 00:30:27,270 --> 00:30:29,540 everybody's rock bottom looks different. 685 00:30:29,650 --> 00:30:32,080 Well, I heard a really good saying actually recently. 686 00:30:32,150 --> 00:30:34,210 Your rock bottom is when you decide to stop digging. 687 00:30:34,860 --> 00:30:37,060 Which I love. Well, it's like it's so 688 00:30:37,070 --> 00:30:38,370 profound. I was like, ohh, like I'm gonna 689 00:30:38,380 --> 00:30:39,770 keep that because it is. It actually is. 690 00:30:39,780 --> 00:30:41,690 And it actually really nice motivational piece. 691 00:30:41,700 --> 00:30:43,840 Like your rock bottom is when you decide to stop you taking 692 00:30:43,850 --> 00:30:47,490 you put the shovel down because you can still go further or you 693 00:30:47,500 --> 00:30:50,110 can stop. You know, it's your, it's your 694 00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,070 usage will stop. That is my rock bottom. 695 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,820 Yeah, exactly. My funeral. 696 00:30:54,640 --> 00:31:00,260 I want, um, I want to be, I'd like to be on display in some 697 00:31:00,270 --> 00:31:03,170 sort of like, yeah, some sort of tapping taffeta. 698 00:31:03,260 --> 00:31:09,660 Yeah, Adam put me in a shitty fuck off in a fucking car work 699 00:31:09,670 --> 00:31:11,800 well, not a cardboard coffin. Could be frightened then that I 700 00:31:12,730 --> 00:31:15,400 would RIP and I. Forgot what? 701 00:31:15,870 --> 00:31:17,780 Exactly. The juices. 702 00:31:18,010 --> 00:31:19,990 Yeah. So like a Wicker Wickers grand. 703 00:31:20,110 --> 00:31:24,620 I want, I do want to have. I am the greatest mother fucker 704 00:31:24,630 --> 00:31:28,100 that you're ever gonna meet. Ohh. 705 00:31:28,110 --> 00:31:32,910 And John Grant GMF John Grant. I'd like people to laugh and 706 00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:34,430 walk in the forest. And if they want to cry, have a 707 00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:36,380 good cry. Yeah, but I do want more. 708 00:31:36,390 --> 00:31:37,200 I do. I do. 709 00:31:37,290 --> 00:31:40,240 I'd love to see people take. What's it like a little piece 710 00:31:40,250 --> 00:31:41,860 apiece? Yeah, I'd love. 711 00:31:42,450 --> 00:31:46,590 Yeah. Bangers going off just by one 712 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,200 person in the back. I'd love someone. 713 00:31:48,210 --> 00:31:50,270 To be like God. She was very attractive woman or 714 00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:51,690 something like that, you know what I mean? 715 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:52,770 She was. Speaking into a. 716 00:31:52,780 --> 00:32:02,710 Microphone mistake on breakfast. Oh my Sorry, Danielle. 717 00:32:02,990 --> 00:32:05,870 What The funny thing is we, I think our very first episode, we 718 00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:08,510 both admitted to flying out the womb looking for attention. 719 00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:10,700 Ohh yeah. And this is the fucking thing 720 00:32:10,710 --> 00:32:15,140 that I think it's, it's, it's really, um, it's really amazing 721 00:32:15,150 --> 00:32:19,550 that you, you want that little piece because like we both, I, I 722 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:22,170 know you have as well gotten messages on social media. 723 00:32:22,180 --> 00:32:25,420 And this is the fucking weirdness and beauty of, um, 724 00:32:25,460 --> 00:32:27,270 having a big head from strangers. 725 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,850 I've literally got messaged from people like their third round of 726 00:32:30,860 --> 00:32:33,790 cancer in hospital thanking me for making them laugh every 727 00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,690 single day to tune in. Like, you know, your midwife 728 00:32:36,700 --> 00:32:37,870 experiences. Yeah. 729 00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:40,510 Like we are literally changing people's lives and we don't even 730 00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:43,330 fucking know it. And then you're like, with the 731 00:32:43,340 --> 00:32:45,820 death, you're bringing people together of those most important 732 00:32:45,830 --> 00:32:48,670 people, but also, ironically, the people that can hurt you the 733 00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:49,640 most. Right? 734 00:32:49,650 --> 00:32:51,220 Yeah. Because you got this familial 735 00:32:51,230 --> 00:32:53,480 attachment, and families are fucking complicated. 736 00:32:53,810 --> 00:32:56,920 But that, as you said, the coming together of those people 737 00:32:56,930 --> 00:32:59,380 doesn't matter what they've said to each other in the past. 738 00:32:59,450 --> 00:33:01,060 They wanted to be crying and laughing. 739 00:33:01,190 --> 00:33:02,910 Together. Death is the great leveller. 740 00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:04,820 Isn't it stunning? Yeah, Death is the great 741 00:33:04,830 --> 00:33:06,560 leveller. It's the great uniter, it's the 742 00:33:06,570 --> 00:33:09,000 great leveller. It is also it takes away so 743 00:33:09,010 --> 00:33:11,580 much, but it also it, it gives us all fucking perspective 744 00:33:11,590 --> 00:33:14,020 because that's how I am since last year. 745 00:33:14,030 --> 00:33:17,140 I am like only for today, like it is today. 746 00:33:17,150 --> 00:33:20,230 I have it is all I have. I don't have yesterday's gone. 747 00:33:20,410 --> 00:33:22,400 I know this sounds kind of live, laugh, love, but it's not 748 00:33:22,410 --> 00:33:26,420 because when you start to apply that to your daily life, I like 749 00:33:26,430 --> 00:33:28,830 ohh, God, like, you know that the finances of the car we're 750 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,100 gonna move house. Like what about my job and you 751 00:33:31,110 --> 00:33:33,180 know, I was aquatic. Kids be like when they're older. 752 00:33:33,230 --> 00:33:35,320 Just fucking don't worry about it because what can you do 753 00:33:35,330 --> 00:33:36,780 today? Like literally walking You do. 754 00:33:36,790 --> 00:33:38,880 Just do do your best. Just do your best to be sound to 755 00:33:38,890 --> 00:33:40,170 yourself. Put yourself first. 756 00:33:40,180 --> 00:33:43,820 Could I ask you a question about your belief in God? 757 00:33:44,250 --> 00:33:47,810 Okay, it's not it's not going to get hot and heavy, don't worry. 758 00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:50,230 Do you think that we go somewhere? 759 00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:51,820 Yeah. Yea. 760 00:33:52,820 --> 00:33:55,890 So you think it's eternal? Yeah, you live on no matter 761 00:33:55,900 --> 00:33:56,650 what. Yeah. 762 00:33:56,690 --> 00:33:59,330 What do you think? Undecided. 763 00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:03,990 Agnostic, I think they call it. Now on that rambling, I would 764 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,650 like to thank you very much for talking about that. 765 00:34:05,660 --> 00:34:07,160 That was a bit of a heavy. Thank you. 766 00:34:07,170 --> 00:34:08,980 Thank you. That was a bit of a heavy one 767 00:34:08,989 --> 00:34:10,610 this week. So if you are affected by any of 768 00:34:10,620 --> 00:34:13,340 that, please look at the numbers below or reach out to somebody. 769 00:34:13,350 --> 00:34:16,500 If you need a talk you can always chat to us but I don't 770 00:34:16,510 --> 00:34:19,889 think much good. No, probably. 771 00:34:20,070 --> 00:34:24,040 Yeah, we'll be chatting to you next week anyway, and in the 772 00:34:24,050 --> 00:34:26,830 mean time to yourself. Yeah, that's the best I have 773 00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:28,810 really just. Book up, will you? 774 00:34:28,820 --> 00:34:29,929 Book up. Pull your socks up now. 775 00:34:29,940 --> 00:34:33,670 Then pull it out together man. Stop it.