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Hello and welcome back to 
another episode of All Right. 

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Yeah. 
How are you getting there going?

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So my pain is subsiding 
somewhat. 

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Great, SO. 
I'm there, might have more 

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energy. 
Another week on. 

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You still look shit. 
I'm joking. 

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Are you still look like you have
gallstones? 

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Ohh I'm just fixing hair and 
makeup. 

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Hair and makeup. 
We did do your makeup for the 

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week, actually. 
Yeah. 

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Full face, yeah, and ohh, you 
got a. 

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Face and we're very weird 
coloured lipstick. 

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Yeah, and nude because I freaked
out by the nude colour. 

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What nude for? 
Lips nude lip colour, yeah, 

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it's. 
Kind. 

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I would have liked Cerise Pink 
any day the week. 

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That was just strange. 
That pink? 

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Yeah. 
Little lines here when I got too

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crispy at the end of the day. 
You just have to. 

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Keep I think I got recognised in
the car on the way back from 

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your gaff actually you're. 
So. 

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Funny. 
Ohh I'd say they I wouldn't say 

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it did cause you look very 
different. 

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We need to get a wig on your 
next time. 

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Ohh yeah and address skipping 
meals. 

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Classic nails. 
Ohh yeah that get that? 

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How many? 
How many do you need on one 

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piece of clothing? 
You don't die. 

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You. 
Don't need them on a cardigan. 

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Over like deciding. 
About the little Riley things 

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that you put I always pull them 
off and then make holes and like

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with we were talking about never
bothered to go get a scissors no

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RIP it off. 
We make about like kind of lazy 

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fashion that week gonna do is 
like this shirt I'm wearing now.

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I did sleep in last night and 
sometimes. 

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No shame in it. 
Laura, shame. 

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Sometimes if I wear a pair of 
socks that I have today for 

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half, like, yeah, yeah, I've 
been to the gym halfway to the 

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day and I put a new pair of 
socks and I've only worn them 

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like cooking the dinner. 
They're so good. 

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They're so good, so good. 
Yeah. 

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When does When does it get a bit
iffy? 

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If if, what would you do now if 
the item is crisping? 

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Gross if it's cruised up in 
anyway. 

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Anyway. 
Alright, bang out the topic 

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there. 
Laura, you're talking in one of 

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the most recent episodes about 
the Epstein float that was on 

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Saint Patrick's Day. 
The imbalance something. 

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What's the name of the valley? 
Backwards wherever the hell it 

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was. 
Katie, get on. 

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Get on the Googling now. 
Hang on, two seconds, 2 seconds.

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We have Katie back again. 
Number. 

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No, it doesn't matter. 
Really doesn't matter. 

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It's Ballinrobe, Ballinrobe 
Ballinrobe in County Mayo. 

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So what was the whole thing 
behind it? 

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I mean, I know we're a couple of
weeks on this. 

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It's not as relevant, but we may
as well unpack it. 

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It was a tractor with an Epstein
file. 

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Yeah, we're we're off trend now 
because it's weeks ago. 

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Yeah, I know. 
But this week. 

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But it doesn't matter. 
It's something we want to talk 

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yesterday and they thought. 
Like kind of a funny thing to 

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do. 
A group of lads got together. 

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Ohh, this would be great. 
Apparently in that town they had

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always done Saint Patrick's Day 
flats that were kind of a little

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bit political and controversial,
kind of tongue in cheek, kind of

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risky, right? 
Almost like on the Verge and 

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this, they just went too far 
with this group of lads. 

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So it would be great to take the
piss out of RA P/E and the 

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Epstein files. 
And it was a tractor with a sign

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on the front saying Epstein 
files and role-playing lads with

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wigs and stuff on a mattress on 
the back of a trailer gaol, a 

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cage to push they arrested into 
but they were actually like 

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mimicking and acting out. 
Oh my God. 

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A rape scene. 
That is, yeah, because I saw a 

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bit of it and I kind of flicked 
past. 

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It but there's there's so much 
media available now all over 

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social media. 
It was available. 

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I'm talking in the past. 
Yeah, um. 

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But like you can hear a. 
Woman laughing in the 

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background. 
That's the bit that triggered me

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the most um, out of the whole 
thing. 

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I'm just like, never mind the 
hundreds and thousands of people

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that are being re traumatised, 
but the fact that you can laugh 

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about this just so openly and 
think it's great. 

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So there was people clapping. 
Yeah, there was also people 

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walking away, but like we didn't
see videos that but like that's 

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just beyond. 
Me. 

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I think so. 
We myself and Abby have been 

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talking a little bit about the 
fact that we both have boys as 

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kids. 
And like, we were like, okay, 

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raising men is actually when you
actually, when you initially 

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said raising men as a topic for 
the podcast, I was like, ohh, 

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like my husband or the men in 
our lives, I was like, ohh, 

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yeah, actually we have. 
We. 

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We both. 
Have we're playing a role? 

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Yeah, we're playing a role and 
specifically you in a same sex 

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relationship. 
I think you've got two women 

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raising one man you know well 
who want to be it to be a man. 

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I don't know if that makes a 
difference or not, but I mean, 

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there's there's a lot more 
feminine. 

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Can be whatever he wants to. 
Be he can be whatever he wants 

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to be. 
Male. 

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It's not the parts. 
That's fine. 

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And I've got two boys. 
Um, and actually one of my boys 

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wouldn't really identify with 
boy or girl really. 

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Um, and we're sort of going 
through that battle at the 

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moment. 
But I think when I think about 

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what's been going on in the 
last, let's say 10 years, 

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because we look at the me too 
movement, we look at the Epstein

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files, we look at the manosphere
documents, they just came out 

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with Louis Theroux. 
There is, there is a, there is a

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pendulum swinging so far. 
We talked about this two 

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episodes ago as well, where you 
were saying there's there's a 

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far, far right and far, far left
and things are going into the 

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extreme. 
And then we talked about my 

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midwife stuff that this, this 
idea of us still being in a 

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patriarchal society, 
specifically in the medical 

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world, specifically a perinatal 
and prenatal wards where yes, 

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there are women, they are women 
dominated, but there's there, 

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there is a lot of them. 
Men patriarchal society for 

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structure is still, and actually
one woman said to me recently, I

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thought it was quite pertinent. 
She said ohh, there was a real 

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danger. 
What does pertinent mean? 

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Um, apt like appropriate for 
the, for the topic we're talking

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about everyday. 
We got that right. 

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And so it was, yeah, it was 
quite appropriate because she 

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said, um, ohh, there's a real 
danger. 

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The, the laundry's offer offers 
some midwife. 

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She was, I mean, obviously being
quite abrasive about midwife was

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like, ohh, yeah, the laundries 
and actually the laundries, the 

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last laundry and I'm going to be
wrong here somewhere. 

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Katie get Googling the last 
Magdalene laundry clothes, I 

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think in the 80s. 
I think I could be wrong. 

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It could have been even series 
1990. 

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OK, but she didn't even need 
Google for that lad. 

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Wow, Katie out of the park. 
And yes, that was, that was a 

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system that was run by women. 
Obviously that was a hugely 

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patriarchal system. 
So when I think about the fact 

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that there was Magdalene 
Laundries up until, you know, 

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when I, when I was alive, like 
I'm just like, holy God. 

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And Ireland is, is so dominated 
by the church, by men. 

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Of course we're going to see 
that still in this kind of the 

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matronly kind of attitude in mid
midwifery and in women giving 

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birth and stuff like that. 
So you and I have roles and and 

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all the mothers out there 
listening have roles in our kids

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lives too. 
What like what do we do about 

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this? 
How do we, how do we raise men 

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to be aware of the pitfalls of 
dangers of pornography, of 

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consent, of misogyny, of being a
man, but also trying to trying 

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to listen and to be be there for
the opposite sex? 

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Like what do we what, what what?
What is our role there as women?

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I don't think I had this 
conversation with Audrey this 

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morning actually, Um, we were 
revisiting the whole Epstein 

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float thing and just the horror 
in both of us and it came to a 

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point where we can do our best, 
but we can only hope we're not 

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in control. 
You just because like in this 

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nature nurture debate, it's 
environmental, it's everything 

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like that. 
We talked through it, um, and 

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kind of thinking about like 
what, what I needed as a, what I

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needed when I was his age and 
all, like, you know, 

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generational divide and how our 
parents were brought up for us 

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is how. 
They were judge. 

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Yeah, when I was judge and 
everything like that, kind of 

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like, um, like it just to show 
no shame in being who you are 

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down to its core. 
But like, that's not really in 

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my control. 
No, it's not. 

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I think we looked at the 
pressure off ourselves a little 

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bit. 
Yeah. 

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In that respect, yeah. 
I can instil it in it. 

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But like, kids get in with the 
wrong group when you're at an 

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age where peers or your whole 
entire world and your parents 

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get left to the wayside because 
you're trying so hard and so 

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desperately to form your own 
identity as an individual, those

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are really, really, really 
important years. 

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Yeah. 
And I think, uh, you know, we 

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said in a previous episode as 
well that the, the bad shit has 

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to happen. 
Like, yeah, you know, you might 

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have to get in with the wrong 
crew to realise that you're not 

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that. 
Yeah, You know, you like like 

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Audrey's most recently lost a 
group of friends or like, 

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dropped a group of friends 
because, you know, she's her 

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mental health is better without 
them and she's not the person 

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that she thought she was with 
them. 

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And and like, I think identity 
is totally fluid and forever 

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evolving. 
But what we can do is tell them 

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that it's okay to be themselves 
and also give them the freedom 

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because there's this, there's 
this breakaway moment as well 

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that happens. 
I haven't experienced it, but 

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I'm sure you have of trust. 
Yeah. 

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And I don't think I had it 
because I was so disruptive and 

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I had all this like shit with 
my, my family. 

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Um, and I was, you know, I was 
rebelling hardcore. 

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Um, so and there was like there 
was a divide and a disconnect, 

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but there wasn't ever any trust 
because the the worst was 

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already there and it was 
expected. 

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What I'm trying to think, what 
I'm trying to kind of say, is 

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the. 
Importance of me trusting Jute 

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but also trusting myself that 
I've done a good enough job 

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because so much is out of our 
control. 

201
00:09:51,970 --> 00:09:53,720
Yeah, okay. 
So yeah, I think, I think that 

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00:09:53,730 --> 00:09:56,510
there is a bit of like when I 
hear the kids fighting, for 

203
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example, and this is not not 
necessarily anything to do with 

204
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gender at all, but I will hear 
the kids fighting and Lewin's 

205
00:10:01,770 --> 00:10:04,370
the bigger 1 so I can hear it 
getting out of control. 

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And myself and Fergal are are 
learning slowly. 

207
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You gotta let them resolve 
themselves and it's hard to 

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watch or you know, like you 
know, you know when your child 

209
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comes in, you're like they're 
doing something they're 

210
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balancing on somethings like 
stupid, maybe Jews island off 

211
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Yeah, but they're Lewin's 
balancing on something he 

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00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:21,000
shouldn't be balancing on Lewin.
Please don't do that. 

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00:10:21,010 --> 00:10:22,200
You're gonna hurt yourself. 
Why? 

214
00:10:22,210 --> 00:10:24,800
And he'll continue to do it and 
then he falls and hurts himself 

215
00:10:24,870 --> 00:10:28,220
and and the my first reaction 
isn't ohh God, you okay? 

216
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It's. 
I fucking told you not to do 

217
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that. 
Why are you doing that? 

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00:10:31,010 --> 00:10:33,340
I told you not to do it. 
It's incredibly frustrating as a

219
00:10:33,350 --> 00:10:35,220
mother, but I think. 
That's but that's the mother 

220
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trying to live through their 
child. 

221
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It is, but it's exactly that 
what it's exactly and it's 

222
00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:41,340
letting them be and letting 
letting it happen. 

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00:10:41,420 --> 00:10:44,090
I think we just need to be open.
I mean, Leonard knows about sex.

224
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,950
He started asking about it and I
just when we were told about 

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00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:50,900
sex, actually, as I as a child, 
my mum was still in her like new

226
00:10:50,910 --> 00:10:52,010
ages. 
They were living, they were 

227
00:10:52,020 --> 00:10:55,710
living separately and she sat us
down on poofs, lit some incense 

228
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:59,010
and and had some kind of like 
wind chime music in the 

229
00:10:59,020 --> 00:11:02,750
background. 
We were 7 LB pipes, most likely 

230
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:06,090
Anna Bongo in the background 
like and she sat us down and 

231
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:08,050
said no, have I told you about 
what sex is? 

232
00:11:08,060 --> 00:11:11,050
And I remember hearing about it 
and it wasn't horrified. 

233
00:11:11,060 --> 00:11:12,830
It was, it was perfectly fine 
for me. 

234
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,870
What to hear about sex was 
amazing until I got to like 10 

235
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:18,490
or 11. 
We watched a video in school and

236
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:20,570
the video was like, and a man 
and a woman rubbed their hips 

237
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,730
together. 
And it feels very nice. 

238
00:11:22,780 --> 00:11:25,310
And I remember going out to my 
friend after, Yeah, and being 

239
00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:28,250
like, I was like, I think sex 
might be actually kind of nice 

240
00:11:28,260 --> 00:11:29,590
because I was never taught 
about. 

241
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,930
It's a nice feeling, which is 
weird because it separates 

242
00:11:32,970 --> 00:11:35,090
because then you've got all 
these ideas like of the child 

243
00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:37,320
masturbating and stuff coming up
as they grow up. 

244
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:40,140
That's a weird feeling because 
it's not associated with this 

245
00:11:40,150 --> 00:11:41,750
beautiful love thing. 
The love thing is just a 

246
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:44,840
mechanical penis going into 
vagina for for for you. 

247
00:11:44,890 --> 00:11:47,090
That's it was penis going into 
vagina that was answering 

248
00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:49,190
scissors. 
What was their name? 

249
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:50,590
Sandra. 
Guess that's get on. 

250
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:52,720
Scissors are nothing. 
Sandra, get on. 

251
00:11:52,730 --> 00:11:54,470
I'm bringing it up. 
Again, I'm so good, I was 

252
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,290
brilliant. 
I was liking Stitches doing the 

253
00:11:57,060 --> 00:12:00,730
but that's again strange as the 
learning how to learning about 

254
00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:02,630
sex and stuff like that. 
How did you learn about sex? 

255
00:12:04,770 --> 00:12:09,200
I can't remember it was just 
kind of where to God, I cannot 

256
00:12:09,210 --> 00:12:12,600
remember. 
It was taboo. 

257
00:12:12,670 --> 00:12:15,900
It was there's a lot of shame 
around it. 

258
00:12:16,270 --> 00:12:18,960
There was a lot of you 
definitely should not be doing 

259
00:12:18,970 --> 00:12:22,700
this. 
Okay, and there wasn't the sex 

260
00:12:22,710 --> 00:12:25,050
before marriage element. 
There was for me. 

261
00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:27,500
Um, they're definitely what I 
don't think there was for me. 

262
00:12:27,510 --> 00:12:31,730
I can't really remember. 
I don't remember the class in 

263
00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:33,940
school. 
Was there even one? 

264
00:12:34,390 --> 00:12:37,260
There has to have been one. 
Ohh yeah, I was born in. 18 I 

265
00:12:37,270 --> 00:12:39,860
was in I was in a multinational 
school so I don't know if what 

266
00:12:39,870 --> 00:12:41,760
Catholic schools are like or 
Protestant in your. 

267
00:12:41,770 --> 00:12:43,720
Case No Quicker. 
Actually, I went to Quaker 

268
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:46,880
school because you have sex. 
Yeah. 

269
00:12:46,890 --> 00:12:49,800
And, and they're places were 
just palling around with each 

270
00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:52,220
other. 
Um, I, I don't know. 

271
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:53,620
I can't. 
I have no memory. 

272
00:12:53,630 --> 00:12:55,860
But you know, for me growing up,
obviously I grew up in, in 

273
00:12:55,870 --> 00:13:00,160
Christian Church and the whole 
sex outside marriage made it 

274
00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:02,220
conflates the, the, the, the, 
the topic. 

275
00:13:02,230 --> 00:13:06,920
It made the whole thing more 
alluring and more tantalising, 

276
00:13:06,930 --> 00:13:09,190
like sex outside marriage, sex 
outside marriage and people were

277
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:10,920
questioning me on it and it was 
so huge. 

278
00:13:10,930 --> 00:13:13,670
You're learning about it at that
age as well, but like you're, 

279
00:13:13,730 --> 00:13:16,560
you're starting to rebel and do.
Things all the teachers want me 

280
00:13:16,570 --> 00:13:18,320
to to go and. 
Like that make you want. 

281
00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:20,840
Desire. 
Yeah, just put the desire in me 

282
00:13:20,850 --> 00:13:23,200
to go and see what the hell SEC 
I remember thinking when I was 

283
00:13:23,210 --> 00:13:25,240
like 15 and. 60 Ohh you're not 
supposed to do it. 

284
00:13:25,250 --> 00:13:27,860
Like they're thinking, looking 
around the room, excitement, 

285
00:13:27,870 --> 00:13:29,250
totally have a look around the 
room going. 

286
00:13:29,260 --> 00:13:30,790
I say they've had sex. 
I say they've had sex. 

287
00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:32,660
I say they've had sex. 
And one just wanting to like 

288
00:13:32,670 --> 00:13:35,440
know what this thing was. 
And and so that and actually the

289
00:13:35,450 --> 00:13:37,960
same was with work with cursing 
in in my family growing up. 

290
00:13:37,970 --> 00:13:40,680
My dad hated cursing as my dad 
did most of the raising of us. 

291
00:13:41,190 --> 00:13:44,340
Never like if anyone says, well,
you could kind of say shit, but 

292
00:13:44,350 --> 00:13:46,560
if anyone said fuck or anything 
like that would be like that's 

293
00:13:46,570 --> 00:13:47,400
charming. 
He shouldn't be. 

294
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:50,030
So I didn't curse until about 10
years ago. 

295
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:51,290
I didn't curse in front of my 
dad. 

296
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,140
Yeah, me too. 
I realised I. 

297
00:13:53,150 --> 00:13:56,710
Didn't hear someone. 
Isn't it weird and so only 

298
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,130
recently? 
And the natural switch off 

299
00:13:58,140 --> 00:14:01,570
because I. 
I yell yeah, and how did I 

300
00:14:01,580 --> 00:14:04,050
manage to switch it off? 
Like I'm regarding Ireland am I 

301
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:08,660
was like don't fucking curse and
how how was just like yeah, 

302
00:14:08,670 --> 00:14:12,960
American account and. 
You big bastard, you're tall. 

303
00:14:12,970 --> 00:14:17,650
Fucker And I was like, you 
didn't curse around Dad, so 

304
00:14:17,660 --> 00:14:20,390
myself and Fergal kind of made a
conscious effort with Lewin and 

305
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,100
Ray, like I'm gonna fucking 
person in front of them. 

306
00:14:22,110 --> 00:14:23,230
Don't you said you said fuck 
the. 

307
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,130
Other day and and if and if 
Lewin and Ray yeah and if he was

308
00:14:26,140 --> 00:14:28,700
trying it out if Lewin and Ray 
cursed now we got not that's 

309
00:14:28,710 --> 00:14:30,790
until you're older and I go how 
come you're allowed to is like 

310
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,940
well I've decided I've just 
decided yeah I've decided I've 

311
00:14:33,950 --> 00:14:37,210
decided when I turned 16 that I 
was okay with being someone who 

312
00:14:37,220 --> 00:14:39,450
cursed you might not be so I 
don't want to like give you 

313
00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:42,030
these things that's incredible 
and that's really nice so he 

314
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:46,560
knows about sex like to me right
like I've I've read a lot of 

315
00:14:46,570 --> 00:14:48,820
books I wouldn't say I'm like 
fucking linguistic expert or 

316
00:14:48,830 --> 00:14:51,170
anything like that but language 
is language curse words are 

317
00:14:51,180 --> 00:14:55,690
curse words we make them taboo 
much like sex and I think it's. 

318
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:58,960
Actually, you know, sending a 
kid to, you know, Catholic 

319
00:14:58,970 --> 00:15:01,040
versus Protestant, Yeah, non 
denominational. 

320
00:15:01,170 --> 00:15:03,850
Like there's stuff that they'll 
do in the school environment 

321
00:15:03,860 --> 00:15:05,480
that you won't necessarily do at
home. 

322
00:15:05,490 --> 00:15:07,080
Your parents might not believe 
in God. 

323
00:15:07,090 --> 00:15:09,880
Exactly. 
And if you say to your kid I'm 

324
00:15:09,890 --> 00:15:12,880
saying fuck cause I'm an adult, 
yeah you're not to say it until 

325
00:15:12,890 --> 00:15:15,150
you're 16. 
But also in school you can't use

326
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:19,750
it so around certain people. 
Yeah, you can't do because it 

327
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,790
looks different house different 
roles exactly. 

328
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,980
And so so so like we were with 
Lou and with his autism. 

329
00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:27,950
Something's fluent my face there
like we were with Lewin and his 

330
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:31,350
autism. 
Um and with wearing glasses or 

331
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:36,100
you know, it's that's cool like,
um, with his with his with sex 

332
00:15:36,110 --> 00:15:37,930
and with cursing. 
Look, that's just the way the 

333
00:15:37,940 --> 00:15:39,550
world. 
Because if we build, in my 

334
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:40,930
experience, if stuff's full 
stop. 

335
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,890
Have you heard him trying it out
when he's fine himself? 

336
00:15:42,980 --> 00:15:46,640
The cursing, yeah, He, he, he'll
tell a joke like he had a joke 

337
00:15:46,650 --> 00:15:50,520
last week. 
He was like, hey, what do you 

338
00:15:50,530 --> 00:15:52,420
say to people who won't get out 
of the way? 

339
00:15:53,130 --> 00:15:56,280
Whichever fucking move. 
I just heard from the kitchen 

340
00:15:56,290 --> 00:15:58,900
and the river. 
Yeah, Burger was like, I don't 

341
00:15:58,910 --> 00:16:01,240
get the joke because you say, 
would you ever fucking move? 

342
00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:02,740
No, you're just telling a joke. 
You can curse. 

343
00:16:02,750 --> 00:16:04,220
There's nothing funny in that 
joke. 

344
00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:06,850
Or just saying so you can curse 
on this kind of excuse to curse.

345
00:16:07,010 --> 00:16:08,940
And him and Fargo regularly give
each other's finger. 

346
00:16:08,950 --> 00:16:11,580
They're like just stop because 
they like they're always going 

347
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,840
to each other. 
Like, no, you can't do that. 

348
00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:16,040
But but we just want to 
normalise. 

349
00:16:16,050 --> 00:16:18,560
And I'm not I'm not saying I 
want him going around cursing 

350
00:16:18,570 --> 00:16:20,310
and talking about sex. 
And we do need to be careful 

351
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:22,370
with Lou and like, because he 
listens to a lot of music, he 

352
00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:23,830
listens like Nicki Minaj. 
We've stopped him. 

353
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:26,700
Listen to Nicki Minaj because 
it's like the idea of sex. 

354
00:16:26,710 --> 00:16:28,610
And she held hands with Trump. 
No thanks. 

355
00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:30,140
Yeah, exactly. 
This is actually pretty that, 

356
00:16:30,150 --> 00:16:34,670
but this Doja Cat I think goes 
into some pretty pretty but he, 

357
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,100
but that is the music he loves. 
So we need to talk to him about,

358
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:39,710
okay, language. 
Yeah, language, sexual respect 

359
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:41,510
association. 
So now I've had to start talking

360
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,680
to him about like the image of 
the women that he looks on, 

361
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:46,140
looks at on TV, like that's not 
what a woman's body looks like. 

362
00:16:46,150 --> 00:16:47,440
You know what mum's body looks 
like. 

363
00:16:47,450 --> 00:16:49,380
And I don't look like Nicki 
Minaj, you know, this sort of 

364
00:16:49,390 --> 00:16:51,160
thing. 
And we don't want to put, put 

365
00:16:51,170 --> 00:16:53,730
sex up on the pedestal. 
So I don't want to overload 

366
00:16:53,740 --> 00:16:55,640
them. 
But I think that the, the 

367
00:16:55,650 --> 00:16:58,150
approach we're having is like, 
yeah, that's just the way it is 

368
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:00,270
and it's cool. 
So, so don't build an anxiety 

369
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:03,230
around it like it was with me 
around this, this crazy 

370
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:06,140
curiosity. 
And obviously Lou and is, 

371
00:17:06,180 --> 00:17:07,660
they're kind of getting that age
now. 

372
00:17:07,670 --> 00:17:09,630
He's nearly 9. 
So he's getting that age 

373
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,520
nowhere. 
Girls aren't as picky. 

374
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,700
Do you know, like, so will he, 
he wants to hang around with the

375
00:17:13,710 --> 00:17:16,010
girls, but he's he, he, you 
know, they, the girls don't want

376
00:17:16,020 --> 00:17:18,069
to hang around with him. 
So he's hang around the boys. 

377
00:17:18,319 --> 00:17:21,500
And, you know, girls and boys 
aren't icky anymore. 

378
00:17:21,510 --> 00:17:23,619
They're starting to hang out 
together a bit more, starting to

379
00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:25,119
kind of realise those crushes, 
you know? 

380
00:17:25,130 --> 00:17:29,200
He's dynamics, yeah. 
And how do you think maybe you 

381
00:17:29,210 --> 00:17:32,740
haven't come to it yet and I'm a
good few years off, but how do 

382
00:17:32,750 --> 00:17:34,690
you think? 
Like as I said, me and Audrey 

383
00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:37,320
were chatting about the whole 
like, how do we raise them? 

384
00:17:37,330 --> 00:17:40,060
And there's no perfect way. 
There's one no 

385
00:17:40,070 --> 00:17:42,670
one-size-fits-all. 
There's like guilt. 

386
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:48,040
And in the hope that you do good
enough in a group situation, 

387
00:17:48,050 --> 00:17:52,140
say, for example, on a guy 
spouts something derogatory 

388
00:17:52,330 --> 00:17:54,640
about a girl's body or something
like that. 

389
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,650
You can't control what their 
parents do with their kids and 

390
00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:01,770
their kids is the kids have only
really learned that through 

391
00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:05,570
social media watching telly 
older siblings or fucking 

392
00:18:05,580 --> 00:18:07,150
misogynistic father. 
Yeah. 

393
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:10,790
Or an Epstein float. 
Like it's there. 

394
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:14,420
It's these kind of the absolute 
float enables that behaviour and

395
00:18:14,430 --> 00:18:17,910
that way of thinking when like 
Lewin, for example, could have 

396
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,020
been laughing at it because all 
the people around him were 

397
00:18:20,030 --> 00:18:22,690
laughing at it and hadn't really
solidly thought about what it 

398
00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:26,610
meant for so many people. 
Like how do we how do we 

399
00:18:26,620 --> 00:18:28,650
represent that in ourselves to 
them? 

400
00:18:28,780 --> 00:18:30,820
And and I don't even know the 
answer to that. 

401
00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:33,780
I'm proposing it as a yeah. 
I mean, myself and Fergie would 

402
00:18:33,790 --> 00:18:37,180
have open conversations about 
Trump, for example, you know, 

403
00:18:37,190 --> 00:18:39,660
and and and Lewin White weigh in
and say, what are you talking 

404
00:18:39,670 --> 00:18:40,950
about? 
And we would fill them in. 

405
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:45,240
And now some of it goes over his
head so he can he can be at the 

406
00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:47,730
table and listen to the 
conversations we're having 

407
00:18:47,740 --> 00:18:50,760
around our opinions and views. 
And he might say, well, I don't 

408
00:18:50,770 --> 00:18:52,280
agree with that. 
That's cool. 

409
00:18:52,290 --> 00:18:55,680
You do you. 
I think taking on a kind of a, a

410
00:18:55,690 --> 00:19:02,000
very open minded at facilitate 
facilitatory point of view at 

411
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:04,750
the dinner table at in the car 
when you're driving and allowing

412
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:06,440
your kids to have their 
opinions. 

413
00:19:06,490 --> 00:19:09,610
Because even if he says I don't 
like girls, girls are stupid. 

414
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,960
Um, rather than go, you can't 
say your. 

415
00:19:11,970 --> 00:19:13,940
Question. 
Exactly so. 

416
00:19:14,010 --> 00:19:16,480
So why are you saying that? 
And what difference does it make

417
00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:20,380
If, if, if a girl has, you know,
if a girl doesn't have a penis 

418
00:19:20,390 --> 00:19:22,360
or what difference does it make?
If so, you wouldn't immediately 

419
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:24,260
go defensive or you? 
No, I don't think so. 

420
00:19:24,270 --> 00:19:27,210
I I think, I think what I've 
learned in in time and I'm 

421
00:19:27,220 --> 00:19:30,080
learning from other parents 
around me is question because 

422
00:19:30,090 --> 00:19:32,330
because firstly, the child needs
to have their opinion. 

423
00:19:32,340 --> 00:19:34,700
They need to be their opinion 
needs to be valued, even if it 

424
00:19:34,710 --> 00:19:38,280
is potentially damaging. 
So okay, so how and so they 

425
00:19:38,290 --> 00:19:40,480
have, which is stupid. 
How would you feel if people 

426
00:19:40,490 --> 00:19:42,900
said the boys are stupid? 
Like yeah, yeah interestingly, 

427
00:19:42,910 --> 00:19:47,500
Lun Lun life stress and girls 
clothes and he saw a child when 

428
00:19:47,510 --> 00:19:49,940
you're on holidays. 
I don't know the child had 

429
00:19:49,950 --> 00:19:52,260
really long hair and I don't 
know if the child was a boy or a

430
00:19:52,270 --> 00:19:56,510
girl but dressed like a girl, 
but it had but the boy child had

431
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,020
T-shirt off or something very 
androgynous, androgynous way 

432
00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:02,160
stressed and Luna has kept going
on and on was just weird. 

433
00:20:02,170 --> 00:20:05,120
It was weird and now I know it's
the fixation was how could that 

434
00:20:05,130 --> 00:20:08,020
child gets to wear dresses and 
it's okay whereas when I I don't

435
00:20:08,030 --> 00:20:10,060
know. 
So all I could do was kind of 

436
00:20:10,070 --> 00:20:13,360
feel that conversation and. 
So there was a defensiveness and

437
00:20:13,430 --> 00:20:17,040
a curiosity, but also a bit. 
Judgmental and nasty. 

438
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:19,450
So I was like, okay, so how 
would you feel if people said 

439
00:20:19,460 --> 00:20:20,790
that about you when you're 
wearing a dress? 

440
00:20:20,860 --> 00:20:23,780
Don't know, wouldn't like it. 
So I guess there's we we can't 

441
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:25,570
mimic the world that we don't 
like around us. 

442
00:20:25,580 --> 00:20:27,870
We can't start spouting hate 
when he started, you know what I

443
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,420
mean? 
So if they start, if they start 

444
00:20:30,010 --> 00:20:35,140
talking about misogyny or sexism
or consent being bullshit or 

445
00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:37,300
whatever, we can't. 
We can't then get on a man 

446
00:20:37,310 --> 00:20:39,610
hating bulls and start saying. 
Well, and I really don't want to

447
00:20:39,620 --> 00:20:41,670
be the like the naggy parent 
when they're going out to drink 

448
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:43,460
their little nagging of vodka 
out of their pocket. 

449
00:20:43,470 --> 00:20:46,620
Like make good decisions, make 
good decisions. 

450
00:20:46,630 --> 00:20:49,840
Now scared I'm so I'm just no 
way is going to be drinker and 

451
00:20:49,850 --> 00:20:51,890
I'm so scared. 
Obviously my mum was a drinker, 

452
00:20:51,970 --> 00:20:54,500
you know, I, I obviously don't 
drink anymore. 

453
00:20:54,550 --> 00:20:56,990
How do we? 
But I see we had to hide it all 

454
00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:00,420
the time from my dad. 
So how do we then create such an

455
00:21:00,430 --> 00:21:02,060
open atmosphere that he can 
tell? 

456
00:21:02,070 --> 00:21:04,460
Me like this is good, comes back
to trust. 

457
00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:06,340
You have to open conversation 
with them. 

458
00:21:06,420 --> 00:21:08,590
You have to trust. 
Yeah, you have to give them the 

459
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:12,020
trust for them to be able to 
give it back to you. 

460
00:21:12,030 --> 00:21:13,530
Yeah, It has to come full 
circle. 

461
00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:16,120
That's that's what I believe. 
And I think that's going to be 

462
00:21:16,130 --> 00:21:18,980
useful if I remember that and 
however many years time I need 

463
00:21:18,990 --> 00:21:22,660
to remember then. 
But I think it's the the 

464
00:21:22,710 --> 00:21:27,980
limitations of trust and the 
fact that no matter what, he's 

465
00:21:27,990 --> 00:21:31,280
going to be himself. 
Yeah, no matter. 

466
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:32,200
What? 
Well, I hope. 

467
00:21:32,210 --> 00:21:35,380
So, so like he's going to like 
he, I'm not telling you he's 

468
00:21:35,390 --> 00:21:37,720
going to make the right 
decisions, but no matter what he

469
00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:41,250
goes through, you'll have to, 
you'll have to stick by it. 

470
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:42,590
You can't ever make him feel 
bad. 

471
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,970
You can't ever, you can't ever 
question, you can't ever judge 

472
00:21:44,980 --> 00:21:47,170
who he is because you're just as
bad as the next person. 

473
00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:49,730
But that's easier said than done
to you have teenagers yet And 

474
00:21:49,740 --> 00:21:52,910
like Katie has Katie has 2 and 
20 something year old and a 

475
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,990
teenager over there. 
And do you trust them? 

476
00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:00,690
She has to say that, but like we
we have we haven't been on that 

477
00:22:00,700 --> 00:22:02,450
road yet. 
So I'm really, really scared 

478
00:22:02,460 --> 00:22:05,210
about the teenage years and 
about like there is a chance 

479
00:22:05,220 --> 00:22:09,020
Jude could come in and say, ohh,
you know, my I didn't like my 

480
00:22:09,030 --> 00:22:11,070
girlfriend. 
She wouldn't put out and you're 

481
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:11,980
going. 
I mean are you going to trust 

482
00:22:11,990 --> 00:22:13,820
them and tell them their right 
that you know like so? 

483
00:22:13,830 --> 00:22:17,070
There's no, I'd never, I would 
literally say John, to sit down 

484
00:22:17,140 --> 00:22:19,330
and talk about it a little bit 
because I think there's 

485
00:22:19,340 --> 00:22:23,020
somethings you might like that 
might be useful to you in moving

486
00:22:23,030 --> 00:22:24,360
forward with this. 
Yeah. 

487
00:22:24,460 --> 00:22:26,130
It's a fucking minefield, isn't 
it? 

488
00:22:26,180 --> 00:22:29,750
It's crazy. 
When I think about even I, I 

489
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:31,420
think specific. 
But unconditionally, no. 

490
00:22:31,430 --> 00:22:34,800
OK, so hypothetically I don't 
know. 

491
00:22:34,890 --> 00:22:39,450
In a perfect world, I will 
always instil in him and let him

492
00:22:39,460 --> 00:22:43,960
know that no matter what happens
and what decisions he makes in 

493
00:22:43,970 --> 00:22:46,670
his life, he is always safe 
under our roof. 

494
00:22:47,070 --> 00:22:48,340
Yeah, always, I think. 
Yeah. 

495
00:22:48,350 --> 00:22:49,370
Yeah, exactly. 
I think he had. 

496
00:22:49,380 --> 00:22:51,460
Heroin. 
Sex addict Porn. 

497
00:22:51,910 --> 00:22:52,760
Like. 
Porn. 

498
00:22:52,810 --> 00:22:55,240
Everyone watches porn, like do 
you know what I mean? 

499
00:22:55,250 --> 00:22:59,880
But like career, like all these 
things that we felt socially 

500
00:22:59,890 --> 00:23:02,430
pressured into, for example, 
owning a house before we were 

501
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:07,320
30, having a great job, like, 
you know, doing the CIO for like

502
00:23:07,370 --> 00:23:11,110
even me and me and me and Audrey
rocking about it, She was like, 

503
00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:13,200
who gives a fuck if he doesn't 
want to go to secondary school? 

504
00:23:13,430 --> 00:23:17,240
There's courses, there's 
apprenticeships, there's so many

505
00:23:17,250 --> 00:23:19,000
people out. 
There I mean and. 

506
00:23:19,310 --> 00:23:22,660
That's exactly high achievement.
Or once monetary worries comes, 

507
00:23:22,670 --> 00:23:23,980
I will. 
Never, ever, ever. 

508
00:23:24,050 --> 00:23:26,500
If I'm worried about money, I 
will never let him know that. 

509
00:23:27,650 --> 00:23:31,220
Well, it's not fair. 
I mean, like, I mean, Lewin's 

510
00:23:31,230 --> 00:23:33,000
fucking stealing from me. 
Like we just don't have the 

511
00:23:33,010 --> 00:23:33,810
money for it. 
Like what? 

512
00:23:33,820 --> 00:23:36,230
I mean, when I think about it, 
like, so I think Gen. 

513
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:37,430
X boom is Gen. 
X, Gen. 

514
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:39,510
X millennials. 
Like we've all had this crazy 

515
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,370
upbringing where the consent 
conversation didn't happen. 

516
00:23:42,380 --> 00:23:46,530
Like when I think back to some 
of my sexual experiences, like, 

517
00:23:46,540 --> 00:23:49,070
I'm like, yeah, no, that was 
not. 

518
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:50,330
That certainly was not 
consensual. 

519
00:23:50,340 --> 00:23:53,500
Borderline. 
Borderline and in some cases not

520
00:23:53,510 --> 00:23:56,040
at all consensual. 
And like, I mean, I can talk 

521
00:23:56,050 --> 00:23:58,060
about it lightly now, but it's 
fucking hard at the time. 

522
00:23:58,070 --> 00:24:01,540
But like, we got ourselves into 
fucking crazy situations and 

523
00:24:01,550 --> 00:24:04,200
like, do you remember like the 
big guys that fancy, fancy you? 

524
00:24:04,270 --> 00:24:06,900
And like, you probably had guys 
fancy you didn't. 

525
00:24:06,910 --> 00:24:09,630
Like it at all now? 
And did you have ever, ever have

526
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,480
guys kind of coming on to you 
and you kind of went along with 

527
00:24:11,490 --> 00:24:15,070
it anyway? 
Yeah, yeah, I would would. 

528
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:15,900
You like? 
Would you just? 

529
00:24:15,910 --> 00:24:18,380
Kiss them back kind of thing. 
Kiss them back just like hang 

530
00:24:18,390 --> 00:24:23,200
out with them and I don't know, 
like it was just like and then 

531
00:24:23,210 --> 00:24:25,160
you think about it going, ohh, 
sure, why did I do that? 

532
00:24:25,170 --> 00:24:26,240
I'm sure it's a bit of. 
Crack. 

533
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:29,220
And were you in your head at 
those times knowing you're gay, 

534
00:24:29,230 --> 00:24:30,630
but you just had to go along 
with it? 

535
00:24:30,830 --> 00:24:33,540
No, I didn't. 
I don't think it was. 

536
00:24:33,550 --> 00:24:34,980
I had to. 
I think. 

537
00:24:34,990 --> 00:24:37,860
I think it was that I was so 
lost in myself anyway that I 

538
00:24:37,870 --> 00:24:40,060
just did. 
So I don't think there was any 

539
00:24:40,070 --> 00:24:43,500
like pressure. 
I don't think there was any 

540
00:24:43,630 --> 00:24:48,390
because I was just very much 
kind of like a loner in a lot of

541
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:51,960
ways and kind of making my own 
bad decisions because it was 

542
00:24:51,970 --> 00:24:54,080
self destruction. 
So I was thriving off that 

543
00:24:54,090 --> 00:24:56,940
destruction. 
Yeah, You know, I don't think, I

544
00:24:56,950 --> 00:24:59,610
don't think like. 
And they're drinking and 

545
00:24:59,620 --> 00:25:01,670
drinking. 
Intoxication was very heavily 

546
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:04,820
involved in those years. 
So like, maybe there was 

547
00:25:04,830 --> 00:25:09,400
decisions made that I, like, 
lurch about, Yeah, lurching, 

548
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:13,000
lurching around the place about.
But like never like ohh. 

549
00:25:13,820 --> 00:25:17,360
That was, that was, I really 
feel like every single thing 

550
00:25:17,370 --> 00:25:20,090
that happened was consensual in 
on my part. 

551
00:25:20,660 --> 00:25:24,190
Definitely not for me and some 
of my friends, like 100% not. 

552
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:28,540
But um, when I think about, um, 
you were, you were talking 

553
00:25:28,550 --> 00:25:29,870
about, Oh yeah, pressure, the 
pressure. 

554
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,290
I was definitely pressurised. 
Club life was a big fucking 

555
00:25:32,300 --> 00:25:35,050
thing when we were growing up. 
So club life was like, where's 

556
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,490
did you hear about Wes? 
Wesley. 

557
00:25:38,500 --> 00:25:41,410
Yeah, and so club life would be 
like you were wearing the 

558
00:25:41,420 --> 00:25:43,930
miniest mini skirt, you know, 
and, and, and some of the girls 

559
00:25:43,940 --> 00:25:45,390
caught a hole in the middle of 
the tights. 

560
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:47,760
So for easy access, you know, 
this kind of thing. 

561
00:25:47,770 --> 00:25:50,670
Apparently there was more condom
wrappers found that we never 

562
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:52,690
like, I never did that. 
We're totally shit. 

563
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:57,510
But you'd go so, so it would be 
like you'd spot a guy, you'd go 

564
00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:58,950
in the whole night and okay, 
that guy. 

565
00:25:59,020 --> 00:26:01,720
And then so you probably didn't 
know if you did this or not. 

566
00:26:01,730 --> 00:26:04,470
So like this is like, so you, 
you, you have to have a friend. 

567
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,370
You have to have three, three 
girls in the situation. 

568
00:26:06,380 --> 00:26:08,410
So you don't have your friend. 
So you could talk to your 

569
00:26:08,420 --> 00:26:11,530
friend, the other friend would 
go over to the guy with his mate

570
00:26:11,540 --> 00:26:14,990
and say we didn't score her and 
he'd look at you and then they 

571
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:15,960
say. 
They would be left. 

572
00:26:15,970 --> 00:26:17,050
Alone. 
And he might say no. 

573
00:26:17,060 --> 00:26:19,490
So you could come back and say 
no and you'd walk off or they'd 

574
00:26:19,500 --> 00:26:21,970
say yes and you'd be brilliant. 
And then you'd go over and you 

575
00:26:21,980 --> 00:26:25,180
just stand outside a pillar and 
just like, you know, dishwasher 

576
00:26:25,190 --> 00:26:26,870
machines. 
Yeah, like the shit shifting, 

577
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:28,690
shifting, shifting, shifting. 
They might get top. 

578
00:26:28,740 --> 00:26:29,730
And I remember. 
I'm sorry. 

579
00:26:29,740 --> 00:26:31,350
This is very funny. 
My mom. 

580
00:26:31,660 --> 00:26:34,350
So this was you started to go 
into life were about 13 and 

581
00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:35,750
about six months later when mum 
died. 

582
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,890
So mum actually got about 6 
months of that kind of 

583
00:26:37,900 --> 00:26:39,970
consensual stuff in there, which
is quite interesting. 

584
00:26:40,070 --> 00:26:42,540
She was lying across Danielle's 
bed and she was talking to the 

585
00:26:42,550 --> 00:26:44,380
two of us. 
She's lying up against the wall 

586
00:26:44,390 --> 00:26:46,600
kind of, you know, she was like,
no girls, would you ever let a 

587
00:26:46,610 --> 00:26:48,240
man grope you? 
And we're like, what's groping? 

588
00:26:48,250 --> 00:26:50,390
And he, she was like, you know, 
like put his hand up here and 

589
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,320
we'll go top you. 
She's like, yeah, yeah. 

590
00:26:52,390 --> 00:26:54,410
And we were like, at the time we
were like, no, you know, of 

591
00:26:54,420 --> 00:26:57,250
course six months later I did. 
But then she was like, good. 

592
00:26:57,260 --> 00:26:59,580
Because you know, if he did, he 
wouldn't find anything up there.

593
00:26:59,620 --> 00:27:01,450
And we're like, what? 
You're very flat chested. 

594
00:27:01,460 --> 00:27:03,220
Then started mining it on the 
wall. 

595
00:27:03,230 --> 00:27:05,600
Should he be like this? 
Grow, grow, grow, grow, grow, 

596
00:27:05,610 --> 00:27:07,100
grow, grow. 
Nothing, nothing, nothing to 

597
00:27:07,110 --> 00:27:08,900
find. 
And that's ashamed me out of 

598
00:27:08,910 --> 00:27:12,580
getting topped for a long time 
the cinema with a guy I was like

599
00:27:12,590 --> 00:27:14,690
AA double-blind date would like 
one of my friends and Danielle 

600
00:27:14,700 --> 00:27:17,490
and done with a really tall guy 
and I was with we went to the 

601
00:27:17,500 --> 00:27:19,050
cinema to watch enemy at this 
stage. 

602
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,970
Yeah, had a really tall guy. 
I had a really short guy and 

603
00:27:21,980 --> 00:27:24,970
went it didn't fancy him went in
his arm around me. 

604
00:27:24,980 --> 00:27:26,990
At one point I was like he's 
like fucking koala. 

605
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:30,060
He was like this, like latched 
on to me like a little kind of 

606
00:27:30,130 --> 00:27:32,180
and and. 
Crying like a child. 

607
00:27:33,690 --> 00:27:35,980
In my life and then to be 
dealing with the whole we did 

608
00:27:35,990 --> 00:27:38,150
the whole kissing thing and then
we stop and watch the thing and 

609
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:43,180
then we kiss and then he just 
had his hand on my lately overly

610
00:27:43,190 --> 00:27:45,220
padded brat. 
There was nothing there to feel 

611
00:27:45,230 --> 00:27:48,220
and he was just kind of grouping
away so and then we just walked.

612
00:27:48,230 --> 00:27:50,440
It was like when he came out of 
the cinema off never seen him 

613
00:27:50,450 --> 00:27:51,920
again. 
I can't remember his name 

614
00:27:51,930 --> 00:27:53,300
rather. 
That's very, very funny. 

615
00:27:53,310 --> 00:27:54,530
It's. 
So strange, isn't it? 

616
00:27:54,540 --> 00:27:58,740
Because like this, like how do 
you do the curiosity safely? 

617
00:27:58,850 --> 00:28:00,840
Like how does that ever happen? 
Like. 

618
00:28:00,850 --> 00:28:03,380
But I think they, I think they, 
they verbalise a lot more now. 

619
00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:04,600
Can I do this? 
Can I touch? 

620
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:08,820
Yeah, yeah, consent is sexy. 
Yeah, like we also had it was 

621
00:28:08,830 --> 00:28:10,550
the leisure Plex another time. 
I'm just telling lots of 

622
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:11,420
stories. 
Hilarious. 

623
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:14,830
The Leisure Plex myself. 
So myself, Danielle and my two 

624
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,310
friends went up to the leisure 
Plex one night. 

625
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:19,750
We were 16, so a bit looser, 15 
maybe bit loosely old. 

626
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,650
And we were like, ohh, Rita, who
like wants to make some friends 

627
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:24,670
and. 
Play bowling and get the shift. 

628
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,440
Kind of so we were like, we had 
no money S we were like hang 

629
00:28:27,450 --> 00:28:29,930
around, you know. 
So we spotted a group of guys 

630
00:28:29,940 --> 00:28:31,240
and one of them was kind of good
looking. 

631
00:28:31,250 --> 00:28:33,010
So I said, okay, I've got an 
idea, right? 

632
00:28:33,020 --> 00:28:37,360
Like Emer, you go up to that guy
there and ask him to to like 

633
00:28:37,370 --> 00:28:41,090
kiss me, get off. 
I think they ask them to to 

634
00:28:41,100 --> 00:28:42,600
shift. 
She give me the shift and he'll 

635
00:28:42,610 --> 00:28:43,780
say no. 
But then we can just start 

636
00:28:43,790 --> 00:28:45,810
talking to them, hang around 
them and make make some guy 

637
00:28:45,820 --> 00:28:47,430
friends because we wanted to 
hang around. 

638
00:28:48,020 --> 00:28:50,100
Few smokes or drinks. 
Causing smoke. 

639
00:28:50,110 --> 00:28:52,610
But yeah, this like early, kind 
of earlier days. 

640
00:28:52,620 --> 00:28:55,540
You must be about 15. 
So yeah, we were like just hang 

641
00:28:55,550 --> 00:28:57,610
around people. 
So then she went, she went up to

642
00:28:57,620 --> 00:28:59,830
them and we were standing there.
She came back and she was all 

643
00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:01,250
red. 
She was like, I was like, what? 

644
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:05,640
He said yes. 
I was like fuck fuck wrong kind 

645
00:29:05,650 --> 00:29:08,380
of bright light situation so so 
me and him went around the 

646
00:29:08,390 --> 00:29:10,420
corner to pay phones. 
And everyone just watching. 

647
00:29:10,430 --> 00:29:12,900
And it was like a family nearby 
having like their burgers and 

648
00:29:12,910 --> 00:29:14,100
chips. 
And I was just like, this is so 

649
00:29:14,110 --> 00:29:15,360
awkward. 
We kissed and then and then 

650
00:29:15,370 --> 00:29:17,520
Kathy had to head off. 
Another guy got kissed and he 

651
00:29:17,530 --> 00:29:20,680
just straight so, so, so, so 
bizarre. 

652
00:29:20,690 --> 00:29:22,360
So bizarre, right? 
Like. 

653
00:29:22,670 --> 00:29:25,620
Back to the topic of raising 
men, how do you raise a man to 

654
00:29:25,630 --> 00:29:29,860
do that kindly and but like if 
she's asking you, do you ask her

655
00:29:29,870 --> 00:29:31,580
if you see someone like what do 
you do? 

656
00:29:31,650 --> 00:29:34,120
You can't, you don't prep. 
Don't you ever prep these? 

657
00:29:34,130 --> 00:29:35,880
Situations. 
It's way more Americanised now 

658
00:29:35,890 --> 00:29:37,320
though. 
I think they do dating and they 

659
00:29:37,330 --> 00:29:38,890
do kissing. 
It's like, well. 

660
00:29:38,900 --> 00:29:40,890
The three steps or. 
Whatever I'd like. 

661
00:29:40,900 --> 00:29:43,570
I'd love to know your bases. 
Yeah, like I'd. 

662
00:29:43,580 --> 00:29:46,630
Love to talk to us. 
Or like a 14 year old like an 

663
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:48,290
alpha, you know? 
Or they alpha now. 

664
00:29:48,300 --> 00:29:50,600
Yeah, to see what? 
How do I forgot? 

665
00:29:50,610 --> 00:29:52,330
They still do the Willy shift my
mate thing. 

666
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:53,990
I would love to know that. 
Yeah. 

667
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:59,550
Oh my Yeah. 
How do you get off with the man 

668
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:03,180
in your day? 
Oh my God I remember thinking 

669
00:30:03,190 --> 00:30:06,290
you like the oldies. 
Education could be an episode 

670
00:30:06,300 --> 00:30:09,690
but when did that start? 
Like the 90s think that the like

671
00:30:09,700 --> 00:30:12,850
relationship remains because I 
think it's always courting like,

672
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:14,470
but that would be a fucking 
thing now. 

673
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:16,520
Then it was like, then you have 
to dance the face. 

674
00:30:16,530 --> 00:30:18,350
You have to dance to Irish 
traditional music. 

675
00:30:18,500 --> 00:30:20,290
In club life they had the 
couches. 

676
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,920
Now they were. 
They were pretty unpleasant. 

677
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:24,370
Remember when the smoking ban 
came in? 

678
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:26,550
The smell of every pub and 
nightclub. 

679
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:28,880
That you walked into my God and 
sticky floor. 

680
00:30:29,190 --> 00:30:31,650
How do you clean vomit off 
carpet? 

681
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,430
There was the couches in in club
like this. 

682
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:37,660
People would go up, then what 
shark? 

683
00:30:37,730 --> 00:30:39,940
What's a shark? 
It's like a fancy. 

684
00:30:39,950 --> 00:30:41,830
Hoover for OHH the ninja shark, 
Yeah. 

685
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:44,770
We have one. 
Okay, so. 

686
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,430
It's a carpet. 
Cleaner So. 

687
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:51,000
So back to the topic of raising 
men, yes, Trump has a mother. 

688
00:30:51,410 --> 00:30:55,030
She does like all these, these 
horrible, horrible people. 

689
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,160
Do you think, do you think their
mother is standing back 

690
00:30:57,170 --> 00:30:59,430
applauding them or do you think 
they're kind of like disowning 

691
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:05,870
them or? 
I think that I, I think that, 

692
00:31:06,780 --> 00:31:13,140
um, the, the comes down to how 
the person raising the person 

693
00:31:13,150 --> 00:31:15,420
was raised, I think. 
It's like, I think that though, 

694
00:31:15,430 --> 00:31:18,120
I mean, I think people can just 
absolutely go rogue as well. 

695
00:31:18,390 --> 00:31:21,220
Yeah, I really do. 
But maybe it's an eye opener to 

696
00:31:21,230 --> 00:31:24,140
millennials because millennials 
have a lot on their plate in 

697
00:31:24,150 --> 00:31:26,300
terms of. 
Changing the status quo? 

698
00:31:26,310 --> 00:31:29,500
Or changing the status quo and 
there's, there's been so much 

699
00:31:29,510 --> 00:31:32,440
pressure to not go down the same
route. 

700
00:31:33,190 --> 00:31:36,120
Um, there are resources 
available. 

701
00:31:36,270 --> 00:31:39,480
The, the language is there, the 
words are there. 

702
00:31:39,490 --> 00:31:46,510
There is so much modern 
accessible chart conversation. 

703
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:49,610
Yeah, tap into. 
Yeah, the consensus not campaign

704
00:31:49,620 --> 00:31:52,140
available pain recently. 
I mean, I don't think I knew the

705
00:31:52,150 --> 00:31:54,590
word consent there. 
Like, you know, up until, yeah, 

706
00:31:54,660 --> 00:31:57,570
until 5, five years ago, yeah, I
knew the word consent, but it 

707
00:31:57,580 --> 00:32:00,140
wasn't used in in kind of a 
generic. 

708
00:32:00,150 --> 00:32:03,670
I'm saying it like it's weird, 
but nobody's to blame. 

709
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:07,530
But I think there is a very, 
very, very obvious breaking of 

710
00:32:07,540 --> 00:32:11,750
the mould with our generation 
because so much has happened. 

711
00:32:11,860 --> 00:32:14,770
So we're overly cautious, but 
we're still traumatised. 

712
00:32:14,810 --> 00:32:17,280
You know what I said that that 
might come to our day. 

713
00:32:17,290 --> 00:32:19,960
Any of it like and like, as I 
said, like there's been very non

714
00:32:19,970 --> 00:32:21,120
consensual stuff that's 
happened. 

715
00:32:21,130 --> 00:32:22,260
Okay, I'm traumatised by some of
it. 

716
00:32:22,270 --> 00:32:25,440
But but like a lot of a lot of a
lot of the stuff like a lot of 

717
00:32:25,450 --> 00:32:27,620
the stuff that was like really 
not on that happened. 

718
00:32:27,830 --> 00:32:30,740
Like it was just sort of you 
just sort of laughed it off like

719
00:32:30,750 --> 00:32:32,120
ohh, do you know what I mean? 
Like. 

720
00:32:32,130 --> 00:32:34,700
Yeah, but then does approach you
later in life as the trauma or 

721
00:32:34,710 --> 00:32:36,840
should be a trauma and. 
Maybe, maybe, maybe. 

722
00:32:37,010 --> 00:32:40,060
Or am I part of the problem by 
being like a stretched out like 

723
00:32:40,110 --> 00:32:41,870
it's it's? 
But you are and then you and 

724
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:44,780
then you're like ohh shit I just
enabled it like cause I didn't 

725
00:32:44,790 --> 00:32:46,320
know any better and it was what 
everyone else. 

726
00:32:46,330 --> 00:32:47,930
Is doing. 
Like I'm more the previous 

727
00:32:47,940 --> 00:32:49,690
generation's excuse. 
Though, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I. 

728
00:32:49,700 --> 00:32:51,740
Know racism? 
Previous generations. 

729
00:32:51,750 --> 00:32:54,330
Excuse homophobia. 
Previous generations. 

730
00:32:54,340 --> 00:32:57,170
The education isn't there. 
It all comes down to education. 

731
00:32:57,240 --> 00:32:59,430
Yeah, it all comes down to 
knowing more than you already 

732
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:01,690
knew about a certain situation. 
I'll bring you back. 

733
00:33:01,740 --> 00:33:04,080
Don't club like just to give you
good story because it just kicks

734
00:33:04,090 --> 00:33:05,950
something came into my head 
there, which has nothing to do 

735
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:10,170
with what we just spoke about 
and my mate, um, really want a 

736
00:33:10,180 --> 00:33:14,650
neighbor which banned by Namer. 
Natalie went off. 

737
00:33:14,660 --> 00:33:17,180
Did you hear that went up. 
She was really kiss my mates 

738
00:33:17,190 --> 00:33:20,700
kind of thing and she went off 
to kiss him and they were just 

739
00:33:20,710 --> 00:33:23,670
stuck there for 45 minutes, 45 
minutes. 

740
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:26,010
You usually be like, how long 
that there was a kind of thing. 

741
00:33:26,020 --> 00:33:27,650
By tongue. 
Spasming help. 

742
00:33:27,660 --> 00:33:30,160
It would be spasming. 
You'd be like and imagine you 

743
00:33:30,170 --> 00:33:31,600
made us live. 
Are you passed there? 

744
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,710
But you'd be looking at your 
watch going okay, so I actually 

745
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:37,670
scored him just minutes. 
Opening, opening your eyes made 

746
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:41,440
and looking over. 
Their eye would flicker out and 

747
00:33:41,450 --> 00:33:44,130
be like ohh shit close together.
But she was over there for 45 

748
00:33:44,140 --> 00:33:47,200
minutes, nothing else. 
Standing, kissing, ohh, wow, you

749
00:33:47,210 --> 00:33:49,320
know, you remember the big 
tongue kissing ohh. 

750
00:33:49,370 --> 00:33:53,740
And there's one huge dribble of 
space just came down between the

751
00:33:53,750 --> 00:33:55,380
little one, just like under a 
bridge. 

752
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:03,470
So awful we even thought so. 
That was like, intriguing by any

753
00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:05,490
means. 
I had, I'm sure the lads is, 

754
00:34:05,500 --> 00:34:08,790
there is. 
Agency or Gen. alpha have like 

755
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,080
kissing lessons. 
Yeah, I don't think like how is.

756
00:34:11,090 --> 00:34:13,429
IT curriculum. 
For that now when did we merge 

757
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:15,409
from doing the dishwasher 
kissing into just normal 

758
00:34:15,420 --> 00:34:16,770
kissing? 
Because I. 

759
00:34:16,780 --> 00:34:20,170
When you had enough shit once to
know, you had enough shit once 

760
00:34:20,179 --> 00:34:22,690
to know. 
When was your first good kiss? 

761
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:26,300
What age were you? 
40, yeah, like I say, it's about

762
00:34:26,310 --> 00:34:28,679
17 or 18. 
I like, I think most of my 

763
00:34:28,690 --> 00:34:31,540
kissing up until then was like 
the kind of weird washing 

764
00:34:31,550 --> 00:34:34,560
machine kissing. 
It wasn't until I actually think

765
00:34:34,570 --> 00:34:37,520
I started to actually get 
anything gratification. 

766
00:34:37,530 --> 00:34:40,370
Yeah, maybe 16 or 17, because 
like before then I was. 

767
00:34:40,380 --> 00:34:42,739
A lot of years of shit kissing. 
I've never enjoyed it. 

768
00:34:42,750 --> 00:34:47,000
I didn't enjoy the was no sexual
gratification for me at all as 

769
00:34:47,010 --> 00:34:50,190
like from 14 to 17 of like there
was no arousal. 

770
00:34:50,199 --> 00:34:51,719
Do you know what I mean? 
In kissing. 

771
00:34:51,730 --> 00:34:54,920
It was just this the thing I do 
with my mouth always had his 

772
00:34:54,929 --> 00:34:57,280
hand is up my top. 
I was embarrassed about like 

773
00:34:57,290 --> 00:35:00,120
mainly embarrassed it passed it 
the last time that I do with my 

774
00:35:00,130 --> 00:35:02,310
friends, like you know me, I'm 
sure the lads were getting loads

775
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,410
out of it. 
I got nothing out of it at all 

776
00:35:04,420 --> 00:35:07,110
until I was about 17 or 18 and 
then that's probably the kissing

777
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:08,740
starts to hone itself. 
Do you know what I mean? 

778
00:35:08,750 --> 00:35:12,130
Yeah, yeah. 
But did you, did you ever have a

779
00:35:12,140 --> 00:35:13,960
moment with a guy where you were
taking the lead and telling him 

780
00:35:13,970 --> 00:35:15,920
how to do it? 
Yeah, yeah. 

781
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:18,460
Like cop on. 
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Jerry, I like,

782
00:35:18,470 --> 00:35:20,590
I'm sure it was a fucking 
asshole to loads of guys, do you

783
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:22,940
know what I mean? 
But like I think there was 

784
00:35:22,950 --> 00:35:26,680
definitely times where ohh God, 
ohh God. 

785
00:35:26,690 --> 00:35:28,840
I just remembered a really 
embarrassing time in club life 

786
00:35:28,850 --> 00:35:33,340
that a guy it was before I'd let
anyone top me and a guy and the 

787
00:35:33,350 --> 00:35:36,860
girls saw this happening but 
he's hands started to go up my 

788
00:35:36,930 --> 00:35:40,590
top there like no, they wouldn't
care because I was all like you 

789
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:42,030
know, he just dropped me blah 
blah. 

790
00:35:42,070 --> 00:35:44,780
But he started hands go by top 
and I pulled his hand away and 

791
00:35:44,790 --> 00:35:47,560
broke the kiss and looked him in
the eyes and meant no and shook 

792
00:35:47,570 --> 00:35:54,770
my head and then hugged him. 
Ohh God ohh no pass. 

793
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:58,930
So condescending and American. 
Also, like with the topping and 

794
00:35:58,940 --> 00:36:02,800
like the bases was reflex like 
on a night out in club life that

795
00:36:02,810 --> 00:36:05,290
you've talked about 17 times in 
this fucking podcast. 

796
00:36:05,650 --> 00:36:08,060
You're so jealous. 
I wish I was there, Waterford. 

797
00:36:08,140 --> 00:36:12,070
Watching from around the corner 
with spit just dribbling out of 

798
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:13,670
my mouth. 
Lurking behind the. 

799
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,750
Yeah. 
Was it like, was it like, you 

800
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,390
know, was it like brownie 
points? 

801
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:19,880
Like was it? 
Like I think between some of 

802
00:36:19,890 --> 00:36:21,580
them it was between us. 
With your with your. 

803
00:36:21,590 --> 00:36:22,350
Group of friends? 
No. 

804
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:24,550
We would have been kind of 
scared at the higher bases. 

805
00:36:24,620 --> 00:36:27,280
You would be like, ohh, no, 
like, but like actually good one

806
00:36:27,290 --> 00:36:28,660
on raising men is my older 
brother. 

807
00:36:28,670 --> 00:36:32,660
He's nine years older than Andy.
Um, he's, he's been really 

808
00:36:32,670 --> 00:36:35,140
amazing kind of father figure in
my life for a lot for a lot of 

809
00:36:35,150 --> 00:36:37,070
my life. 
I mean, for example, when he, he

810
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:39,790
was carrying us down the stairs 
when we were babies and he 

811
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:41,590
tripped. 
He was, he was about 10 and he 

812
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:44,700
tripped and fell, but he turned 
himself mid air so he would land

813
00:36:44,710 --> 00:36:46,070
on his back and we wouldn't get 
crushed. 

814
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:48,140
So he's always looked after us. 
Oh my God, in the. 

815
00:36:48,150 --> 00:36:49,720
White thing on your black top, 
it's really annoying. 

816
00:36:49,730 --> 00:36:51,290
Me. 
No, it's a hole in my cardigan. 

817
00:36:51,550 --> 00:36:56,950
And we were in Italy with my dad
when we were 16 and we got we've

818
00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:59,680
gone skiing and myself and Andy 
and my other brother Shane and 

819
00:36:59,690 --> 00:37:02,050
my sister went down to the 
nightclub and we're having a few

820
00:37:02,060 --> 00:37:03,430
drinks because it was legal 
there to drink. 

821
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,260
So it's great crack. 
So we're having a few drinks. 

822
00:37:05,270 --> 00:37:07,890
And then was Italian guys 
invariably kind of following 

823
00:37:07,900 --> 00:37:10,400
myself internally around. 
And we were dancing on the dance

824
00:37:10,410 --> 00:37:12,340
floor and the guys were kind of 
start making their way over. 

825
00:37:12,350 --> 00:37:14,980
And then I'd look over behind a 
pillar and just half Vandy's 

826
00:37:14,990 --> 00:37:17,960
head, big baldy head in them 
looking behind the pillar like 

827
00:37:17,970 --> 00:37:19,200
ohh. 
You weren't coming. 

828
00:37:19,210 --> 00:37:21,370
Close then, and then once they 
came close, you come over and it

829
00:37:21,380 --> 00:37:23,800
was really bad. 
Jen X dancing at them and all 

830
00:37:24,130 --> 00:37:27,490
dancing getting in the way. 
And there was one guy as I was 

831
00:37:27,500 --> 00:37:29,430
kind of getting on with and I 
really wanted to kiss him and I 

832
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,950
was like, ohh, And he started to
actually frightened and he's 

833
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:33,210
like, no, no, no, I can't, I 
can't. 

834
00:37:33,220 --> 00:37:35,330
And I tried to kiss him and he 
was like, ohh, I can't you give 

835
00:37:35,340 --> 00:37:37,200
it to Hannah. 
And I said, Andy, what did what 

836
00:37:37,210 --> 00:37:38,310
the fuck did you say to your 
man? 

837
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:42,430
He said, do you understand Mort 
Morte, that'll be you. 

838
00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:45,910
You will die mortal is like you 
basically end up put his fist to

839
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:48,350
say and threaten them. 
So like, I mean, I actually 

840
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:50,490
think brothers get it. 
Brothers get the whole 

841
00:37:50,500 --> 00:37:52,510
protective thing. 
Doesn't mean I've had three 

842
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:55,470
older brothers who could be very
protective over me and really 

843
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:56,770
get how to protect. 
Women. 

844
00:37:56,780 --> 00:37:59,970
And none of them have. 
And the manosphere, none of them

845
00:37:59,980 --> 00:38:01,520
have joined the manosphere, 
thank God. 

846
00:38:01,530 --> 00:38:03,560
Yeah. 
And like they they kind of get 

847
00:38:03,570 --> 00:38:05,020
it. 
And I think myself and now would

848
00:38:05,030 --> 00:38:09,640
be kind of strong women, you 
know, we like we're feminists 

849
00:38:09,650 --> 00:38:11,320
and and we kind. 
Of you, but you were protected 

850
00:38:11,330 --> 00:38:13,350
and you were trusted, mean and 
people watching your. 

851
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:15,700
Back but what's great is that 
they see that in us and that's 

852
00:38:15,710 --> 00:38:17,790
how that they kind of respect 
that another woman as well. 

853
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:19,970
So there has to be that there 
when you're raising men. 

854
00:38:19,980 --> 00:38:21,560
So I wonder like get sisters for
them. 

855
00:38:21,570 --> 00:38:24,250
That's the answer to. 
It yeah, I wonder like these 

856
00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:26,930
manosphere people that are so. 
Do they have sisters? 

857
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,890
Do they have sisters and I have 
they ever experienced that? 

858
00:38:29,900 --> 00:38:33,330
Or how would they feel if yeah, 
their sister was victim? 

859
00:38:33,380 --> 00:38:37,230
Yeah, I know. 
And so blatantly misogynist be 

860
00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:42,540
talking about like being like 
these throw away comments about 

861
00:38:42,550 --> 00:38:44,720
really really serious 
traumatising topics. 

862
00:38:44,790 --> 00:38:48,140
I know, I wonder. 
Like I'm yeah, but like, I don't

863
00:38:48,150 --> 00:38:49,880
know. 
I think all we can do is our 

864
00:38:49,890 --> 00:38:55,360
best and also try like, I don't 
ever want to be seen as like 

865
00:38:55,410 --> 00:38:58,130
controlling that. 
No, I want him to be free in 

866
00:38:58,140 --> 00:38:59,690
that. 
I think we stay curious. 

867
00:38:59,700 --> 00:39:01,390
We stay curious and empathetic 
and. 

868
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:04,220
There's no, there's no, there's 
no hard set lesson either. 

869
00:39:04,290 --> 00:39:06,280
This is the thing. 
That's why you can't teach sex. 

870
00:39:06,530 --> 00:39:08,720
That's the whole really. 
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I 

871
00:39:08,730 --> 00:39:09,800
think. 
We all have. 

872
00:39:09,810 --> 00:39:12,290
Different brains. 
Keep an open mind with them, 

873
00:39:12,350 --> 00:39:14,060
stay tolerant and patient and 
stay curious. 

874
00:39:14,070 --> 00:39:16,620
Keep asking questions and try 
not to be rigid like the world 

875
00:39:16,630 --> 00:39:18,140
out there is. 
I think that that's kind of our 

876
00:39:18,150 --> 00:39:20,320
only. 
Yeah, but like living it, it was

877
00:39:20,330 --> 00:39:23,060
kind of rigid because, you know,
you got the bases, you got the, 

878
00:39:23,130 --> 00:39:24,140
you know. 
But I want to. 

879
00:39:24,150 --> 00:39:25,360
Be there was, there was, there 
was a. 

880
00:39:25,370 --> 00:39:28,720
Structured way things I know, I 
know, but I want to be over me 

881
00:39:28,730 --> 00:39:31,680
growing up, you know, but I want
to be open enough so that I'll 

882
00:39:31,690 --> 00:39:34,660
finish on this. 
My mum came down, she was sick. 

883
00:39:34,730 --> 00:39:37,260
She had been diagnosed leukaemia
and it was the, IT was the last 

884
00:39:37,270 --> 00:39:40,050
disco went to before she died. 
And she, I came home and I, I 

885
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:43,020
gotten off at three guys and I 
thought it was great and I 

886
00:39:43,030 --> 00:39:45,110
thought was fine. 
And my mum came down the stairs.

887
00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:47,150
I remember her asking me in the 
morning, how did you get on at 

888
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:48,410
the disco? 
And I said, yeah, great. 

889
00:39:48,420 --> 00:39:50,340
So did you kiss anyone? 
I said, yeah, there was one guy 

890
00:39:50,350 --> 00:39:51,630
and the other is how many guys 
you kiss? 

891
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:54,430
I said 3. 
She said, right, I think that's 

892
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,840
probably now in her head she was
like, what the fuck is my 13 

893
00:39:56,850 --> 00:39:58,610
year old doing around blocking 
tonsils? 

894
00:39:58,620 --> 00:40:01,350
But you know, but she was like, 
yeah, that's a bit too much. 

895
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:03,340
Or cause I mean, you don't 
really like, you want to focus 

896
00:40:03,350 --> 00:40:05,190
on one guy, don't you? 
Like, you don't want to get like

897
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:07,990
loads of And she handled it so 
well and so openly. 

898
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,610
And I took that with me, and 
that and the groping. 

899
00:40:10,740 --> 00:40:14,630
Thing like it's okay to talk 
about this, let's talk like, you

900
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:17,090
know, let's openly talk about 
this and she approached us to 

901
00:40:17,100 --> 00:40:19,410
nonchalant way and like the 
whole everything about sex. 

902
00:40:19,420 --> 00:40:23,570
Was like, yeah, like you had a 
very, like, conversational, 

903
00:40:24,140 --> 00:40:26,730
conversational. 
Packs about everything about it,

904
00:40:26,740 --> 00:40:28,700
yeah. 
So for example, if mum was to 

905
00:40:28,710 --> 00:40:33,410
come home and say, you know, 
like I, I scored a girl this 

906
00:40:33,420 --> 00:40:37,750
morning and he's 11. 
It won't be, it won't, it won't 

907
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:38,510
be. 
What would you like? 

908
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:40,030
What the fuck? 
Why? 

909
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:41,840
You're too young for that. 
It'll be okay. 

910
00:40:41,850 --> 00:40:43,870
How's that make you feel? 
You know, I mean, actually the 

911
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:45,940
first time I kissed a guy, I was
10, I felt way too young and I 

912
00:40:45,950 --> 00:40:48,490
went home and cried to mum and 
mum was like, well, maybe just 

913
00:40:48,500 --> 00:40:49,770
not ready yet love. 
And I wasn't. 

914
00:40:49,780 --> 00:40:52,030
And that was the so rather than 
ohh, God, don't tell me. 

915
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:53,870
I think we just need to be open.
We need to be. 

916
00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:55,480
There was nothing 
catastrophizing. 

917
00:40:55,490 --> 00:40:57,870
About it exactly there was 
nothing scary and that's amazing

918
00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:00,260
like when I was growing up as a 
quick Christian no sex outside 

919
00:41:00,270 --> 00:41:03,880
marriage. 
We need to not like put this 

920
00:41:03,890 --> 00:41:06,190
these guardrails around anything
so that we can kind of guide 

921
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:07,920
them in that respect. 
Yeah. 

922
00:41:07,930 --> 00:41:11,000
And do you remember the, the, 
the class that you had? 

923
00:41:11,010 --> 00:41:15,560
Was it like, um, very like taboo
it's a bad thing? 

924
00:41:15,750 --> 00:41:18,820
Or was it the sex Ed class? 
Because I don't remember mine. 

925
00:41:18,890 --> 00:41:21,280
Was it like biological? 
It was. 

926
00:41:21,290 --> 00:41:24,340
It wasn't like it was quite 
biological, but biassed anyway. 

927
00:41:24,470 --> 00:41:26,650
No, no, no, no, because 
multinational and actually was a

928
00:41:26,660 --> 00:41:29,630
grade school for that because in
6th class then we had our 

929
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:33,860
teachers, everybody could write 
down a question and you wrote it

930
00:41:33,870 --> 00:41:36,240
down twice and you ripped it the
paper into and you hold it up 

931
00:41:36,250 --> 00:41:38,130
and put it in a bowl. 
And all the girls went into one 

932
00:41:38,140 --> 00:41:40,130
classroom, all the boys went 
into another classroom. 

933
00:41:40,140 --> 00:41:42,560
That's cool. 
And the, the teacher answered 

934
00:41:42,570 --> 00:41:44,430
all the questions. 
And I remember one question came

935
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:47,400
up was like, what's a tampon or 
you know, these things. 

936
00:41:47,410 --> 00:41:49,320
But one question came up was 
what's a blowjob? 

937
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:53,270
And the teacher was like, okay, 
um, yeah, I think that's 

938
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:55,260
probably one of your parents to 
answer because she was just 

939
00:41:55,270 --> 00:41:57,190
like, shit, like she didn't want
to go into that kind of thing. 

940
00:41:57,200 --> 00:41:59,790
But there was mainly like, does 
blood come out the pee hole? 

941
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,060
Uh, what's a period? 
You know, things aren't. 

942
00:42:02,070 --> 00:42:04,170
So the girls and boys were 
basically. 

943
00:42:04,180 --> 00:42:07,340
Clearly anatomical inquisition 
to the whole no there. 

944
00:42:07,350 --> 00:42:08,830
Was questions right? 
Yes, yeah. 

945
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:10,510
Well, I mean, I think it was 
like, what's an orgasm or 

946
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:12,290
doesn't orgasm feel good and 
stuff like that. 

947
00:42:12,300 --> 00:42:17,290
So there was like, yeah, yes. 
What noise do you make? 

948
00:42:17,300 --> 00:42:19,400
Yeah. 
So I think it's like keeping an 

949
00:42:19,410 --> 00:42:22,720
open mind, allowing our children
to be curious and not freaking 

950
00:42:22,730 --> 00:42:24,800
out when they say fucking weird 
shit because we're in for the 

951
00:42:24,810 --> 00:42:26,120
weird shit. 
Because social media is only 

952
00:42:26,130 --> 00:42:30,140
getting started, you know? 
Yeah, yeah, um, yeah. 

953
00:42:30,150 --> 00:42:33,960
And maybe not allowing him to 
have social media until he's 18.

954
00:42:34,020 --> 00:42:36,310
Ohh God the whole porn stuff. 
Look into that in another 

955
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:38,540
episode. 
Okay, see you later. 

956
00:42:38,630 --> 00:42:42,830
Bye bye. 
Stay classy, San Diego.