1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,760 Dating advice is everywhere. It's exhausting, it's confusing, 2 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:06,280 everybody's got an opinion. Today we're going to be talking 3 00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:09,080 about how to get rid of your dating anxieties and what you 4 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:13,440 can do to get better at asking the girl out on a date. 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:33,080 This is the All In podcast. Gentlemen, we've been on our 6 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:37,520 fair share of dates in our life. Yeah, I mean, Jose took a while 7 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,400 to get married, so he went on way more than we did. 8 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:43,920 That's, that's fair, yeah. How old were you, 3540? 9 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:51,360 When I got married. Started dating when I I was 28. 10 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:55,440 Yeah, we're talking about dates with different women or just 11 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:57,520 dates, you know, like we've taken our wife out on dates. 12 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:01,200 Yeah, you know, just the the bachelor life, you know, feel 13 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,200 like we could we have some advice to offer here now in our 14 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:08,200 wise old years of being 29 1/2 and now 30. 15 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:09,680 Jose, congratulations. Thank you. 16 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:11,760 In the new decade of life. Yeah, for sure. 17 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,680 What what would you say? What are some pieces of dating 18 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:18,640 advice that you've received in your life that maybe just didn't 19 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:22,160 work? I mean, all of us, you know, you 20 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:25,600 go from high school where no one knows what the heck they're 21 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,800 doing to college where everybody thinks they know what they're 22 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:30,720 doing and everyone's got something to say. 23 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:36,560 Any any stories in there? I I've got one where it just 24 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:39,960 wasn't necessarily dating advice as like a general concept. 25 00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:46,920 It was a wreck, a recommendation to do something with a specific 26 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,120 girl. I, I went to ask out and we'll 27 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:53,040 get into, you know, a lot of things that I've done that maybe 28 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:57,560 aren't great for, for dating, such as being too scared to ask 29 00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:59,960 a girl outright and dragging it on for years and becoming good 30 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:03,120 friends and that whole, that whole thing. 31 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,000 Everyone knows what you're talking about. 32 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:10,600 But I remember at one point offhandedly this calling me to 33 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,240 call me like if you ever asked me how I'm going to slap you 34 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:14,720 across the face. Whoa, now that was, you know, 35 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:16,040 and it was kind of funny. She's flirting. 36 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:18,120 She's probably flirting. It felt flirty for sure. 37 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:21,000 But because you guys were were good friends, yes. 38 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:22,680 Very good. Friends and it was like she was 39 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,320 OK. You you could even say 40 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,560 inappropriately good friends. Yeah, not like in anything. 41 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:27,960 We're just like sweating off them together. 42 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:29,640 Yeah. Another friend told me he's 43 00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:32,520 like, dude, it would be hilarious when you ask her if 44 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,600 you if you put on a football helmet before you ask her. 45 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:40,920 That would be a power move. And so I did, and it was just 46 00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:43,760 kind of really awkward. Yeah, she's. 47 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:45,480 Like, where are you wearing a football helper? 48 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,160 That's like what you, you know, that was going to be like a 49 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,200 silly moment and you were going to like you. 50 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,160 Were going to be into. It that was going to be funny 51 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:53,520 and it was just like super uncomfortable. 52 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,640 I remember like the whole drive back I was just like, man. 53 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,160 I'm an idiot. Why did I throw with that? 54 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:04,840 Like, it's so cringy, you know? So it wasn't dating advice, but 55 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:08,680 it was advice to do something that I was going to like be 56 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:11,280 funny, and it was not. It was really awkward. 57 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:15,840 We didn't work out. The the best dating advice I got 58 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:22,040 was worst a worst Yeah, probably kiss on the first date. 59 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:24,080 Probably the worst dating advice I ever got. 60 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:25,480 Someone told you that? Yeah. 61 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,360 They're like, that's just, that's the way to determine if 62 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,240 you know, that there's going to be a second date. 63 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:32,960 And I was like, yeah, that kind of makes sense. 64 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:35,200 Like yeah, if, if. They're fireworks. 65 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:37,640 If they kiss back, then you, I mean, you're pretty much a lock 66 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:41,600 for #2 if they don't, well, you just kind of call it quits and 67 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:45,560 drive home right then and there. I did not take that advice, just 68 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,440 to be clear. I think I think one of the 69 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,960 weirdest things that's perhaps going on in the in the dating 70 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:55,040 world right now is the the talking face. 71 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,480 I just always thought that was so funny. 72 00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:00,040 No, we're not dating. We're we're talking, we're 73 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,680 intentionally speaking, we're intentionally speaking with one 74 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,000 another, which I don't know what that means. 75 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,040 Maybe you're, you're texting a little bit and it's kind of like 76 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:09,760 if you're texting frequently, it's kind of showing that both 77 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:12,440 of you have potential interest than one another. 78 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:15,920 But I think one thing that you know, you know, I've definitely 79 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,640 been guilty of in, in my life and maybe all of us can say the 80 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:20,800 same. And that I see a lot in dating 81 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:24,040 culture is just a lack of clarity in dating, like trying 82 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,520 to keep things vague for as long as possible. 83 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,480 Why do you think, why do you think we do that? 84 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,400 Why do you think that's a thing in dating culture? 85 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:33,120 I mean, because we're scared. Fear of rejection? 86 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,400 Yeah, absolutely. It's just fear. 87 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:38,040 If you define things, then there's a risk that it's not 88 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:40,600 going to be the outcome that you desire. 89 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,720 And what does that say about me? Right, so if I just let it play 90 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:45,880 out, never define it, then I can't get turned down. 91 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,760 I remember there's a, a story from college, one of our, our 92 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:54,960 roommates, John Michael, he was, he was dating a girl, beautiful 93 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,600 girl. We all really liked her. 94 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:59,480 We're like, dude, you got it. It was clear that that she was 95 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:02,720 in him, he was in her. And you know, they were kind of 96 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,840 going through this, this talking face for a little bit and then 97 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:09,080 he didn't text her back for like 2 weeks. 98 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,360 Her name was Hope. Do you remember this? 99 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:13,840 And I. Had a lot of hope in her. 100 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:18,160 And our our friends, I, we were telling like, dude, like you 101 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,600 need to ask her on a date, like you need to keep talking to her 102 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:23,520 like she's awesome, you're awesome, You're both into each 103 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:24,960 other. This is going to work out. 104 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,880 And it had been so long since he he texted her back. 105 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:33,440 He didn't know what to do. And so he took a he took a 106 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:36,240 picture of himself. He put a a blanket over his head 107 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:39,960 and he wrapped it around like this and he texted her ET phone 108 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:45,760 hope from the movie and that was his way. 109 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:48,440 That was his, that was his way of trying to get. 110 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:50,520 Back starting I was like, look what I texted her. 111 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:52,000 I was like, dude, what foolproof plan? 112 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,720 What are you doing? Did she respond now? 113 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:55,600 They're married now. She. 114 00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:01,800 Responds a clear way of knowing if someone is the. 115 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:04,440 If they if they like that, you're in, Yeah. 116 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,600 So I think, you know, you guys hit on some points, which is 117 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:13,040 just that when you, when you have clarity, there's either an, 118 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:16,760 an acceptance of that clarity or there's a, a rejection of that 119 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:18,760 clarity. And, and keeping things vague 120 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:21,400 allows you to kind of stay in that middle ground for a little 121 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:23,360 bit. You don't put yourself online, 122 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:25,920 if you will, And either, you know, allow yourself to be 123 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:29,720 rejected or, you know, have the possibility of, of, you know, 124 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:33,600 taking things further and actually stepping into a dating 125 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:35,800 relationship. I think perhaps something else 126 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,720 that exists just beyond even rejection. 127 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:41,200 You could even say this is probably just a the fear of 128 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:44,800 rejection is a cause of this, but ultimately just passivity in 129 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:48,120 life in general. Just kind of going through life, 130 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:51,320 maybe wanting something or not really knowing what you want and 131 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:55,560 just kind of being and just hoping that something happens 132 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:56,920 for you. Does that make sense what I'm 133 00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:00,040 saying? I think, I think people confuse 134 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:04,000 kindness with that passivity. So if I determine and I try to 135 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,680 have an outcome in this relationship, then that 136 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,320 inherently creates a tension between us. 137 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:13,080 And so the nice thing to do is just to not rock the boat and 138 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:16,960 just keep things moving along, not knowing exactly what 139 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,480 direction we're heading. But at least I haven't rocked 140 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,880 the boat. What about being? 141 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,800 I would say on the flip side of this, have you seen guys who 142 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:28,200 have been overly like, you know how you're in a conversation 143 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:31,120 with someone and people are just like overly blunt almost to the 144 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:34,320 point of, of being aggressive? My question is, I'm wondering 145 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,200 from the from the girl's perspective, you know, they want 146 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,720 clarity, but in in this situation that you're talking 147 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:44,800 about Jose, like clearly there was a realization that you guys 148 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,160 had a friendship that was going beyond just friendship. 149 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:51,320 And it seems like she was trying to give some clarity to you 150 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:55,360 potentially by saying, hey, don't ever ask me out on a date. 151 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:58,360 Maybe kind of assuming that you were thinking that. 152 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,680 Does that make sense what I'm saying? 153 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,680 Like what is what is the what does the girl think? 154 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,080 Does she want directness? Does she not want directness? 155 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:07,440 Is that pressuring her? Is that not pressuring her? 156 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:09,920 I don't know, I think. I mean, I don't, I don't know 157 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:14,720 what girls want. Now that we're you're married. 158 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:18,920 Yeah, I think like that specific example, I don't think it was 159 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,200 that because that that had been like more of like a joke earlier 160 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:28,560 on in the friendship because you know, being like in college, we 161 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:31,240 would always talk about. And I think this just happens a 162 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:34,840 lot of when like guys are just when a guy and a girl are really 163 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:37,600 good friends, They can guys and girls be really good friends. 164 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:45,280 And I think at one point I kind of realized like, no, yes, but 165 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,160 no, right. It's just a different level. 166 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:54,680 And I think what helped me realize that was realizing this 167 00:08:54,680 --> 00:09:01,880 friendship I had. If I was married and I had this 168 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:07,320 friendship with someone that was in my spouse but was a woman, my 169 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:09,600 wife would not be OK with that or vice versa. 170 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,840 You know, like if I was married and my wife had the relationship 171 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,360 that I have with this girl is like just friends, I would not 172 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,520 be OK with that. And that's when I don't, I'm 173 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,320 kind of like just blowing through your question. 174 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,680 Like, I don't really care what the girl wants. 175 00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:25,920 Like there needs to be clarity. There needs to be like a, hey, 176 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,960 what are we doing here, you know? 177 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:34,240 I I think that with anything 2 extremes of the situation, one 178 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,280 extreme is the overly intentional guy that on the 179 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,200 first date is like hey where where's this going? 180 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:41,760 Hey, I'm only here to discern marriage. 181 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:46,160 That that's way too forward. Like don't, don't get into that 182 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:50,480 unless there's an opportunity where you see the next logical 183 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:54,680 step is the following, you know, have some micro intentionality. 184 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,440 Like, hey, I want to, I want to take you on a date. 185 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:59,080 I want to get to know you. I want to be able to have 186 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,520 someone on one time where we can actually foster a little bit 187 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,840 more of a relationship outside of a group. 188 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,120 And then on the first day, like, hey, I really enjoyed the first 189 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:07,600 day. Can we do this again? 190 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,440 You don't need that. That's the level of micro 191 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:13,480 intentionality you need. But the macro intentionality of 192 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:18,320 like, hey, I really want to go on three dates and after three 193 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,760 dates, I would like to have the opportunity to ask you out. 194 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:24,480 And then I see us dating for anywhere from 6 to 9 months, you 195 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:25,600 know, give or take a couple days. 196 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,760 And then I want to get engaged. Like that's just a little bit. 197 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,720 Too much, Too much. Or, or I, I was talking with the 198 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:33,840 guy and he was like, yeah, first date. 199 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,840 I just want to know like does does the woman want to work? 200 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,720 Do they not want to work? How many kids they want to have? 201 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:39,720 How many kids they not want to have? 202 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:41,400 Because those are deal Breakers for me. 203 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,360 And I'm just. Like on the first date you 204 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,200 can't. You can't do that on the first 205 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,040 date. I don't care how well it's going 206 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,760 that that is way too intentional. 207 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:54,080 I do also think it's like, well what is dating right and and 208 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:55,480 like. Jose asked them Real. 209 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:59,120 Questions. Because I do feel like early on, 210 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,040 whenever I was making all these mistakes where I was scared to 211 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:05,160 clarify things, right? I was scared to ask her a lot. 212 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:07,040 So I would just become really good friends with them and hope 213 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:08,560 that, like, through the friendship, they wouldn't 214 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:12,120 actually, like, I I wouldn't become friends with them because 215 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:13,840 of this. But, you know, become really 216 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,240 offensive. You, you realize you have 217 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,640 feelings. Yeah, well, maybe they'll also 218 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:24,080 have feelings, but I don't want to say anything is I think part 219 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:27,880 of my fear outside of being rejected was that dating meant 220 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:31,680 that, like, we were going to get married versus, like, dating 221 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:33,560 just to get to know someone. Am I making sense here? 222 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,400 Like, why are we dating? You know, and I do think, like 223 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:42,360 now I'm definitely on the side of ask girls out early, no 224 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,120 speeches. I always tell guys that no, no, 225 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,920 no spiel. No one wants to spiel when you 226 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:48,080 ask someone else, right? Save that for when you propose. 227 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:51,480 How would you ask a girl out? Hey, I think you're really cute 228 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:52,400 and love to get to know you better. 229 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:53,840 Couldn't take you. On a date? 230 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:57,080 Oh wow, short and sweet. Like you had that, you had that 231 00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:00,080 just. Boom, well I learned there's 232 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:03,080 been just like. Also, if you do early before you 233 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:05,520 become really good friends, now you have boundaries too. 234 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:08,640 Because if this is no, A doesn't hurt as much, but B, there's a 235 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,200 lot of pressure that's off of the friendship and now you can 236 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,520 be friends. Well, I think to the to the 237 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:16,120 point of the conversation, what a men get wrong about dating. 238 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:18,440 They put way too much pressure on dating. 239 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:21,120 On dates. On dates, yes, like it is. 240 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,000 Going on dates means that your boyfriend, girlfriend. 241 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,520 That it is an exclusive relationship where we have to 242 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,560 make a decision on if we're going to get married soon. 243 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,680 And it's like the purpose of dating is to intentionally get 244 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,760 to know someone. To see if it would work. 245 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,400 To see if there's a possibility that you move into a more 246 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:39,080 serious dating relationship. We're then you know, we would, 247 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:41,720 we would use the term relationship at that point, you 248 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,360 know, there's dating, you're going to know someone. 249 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:46,360 There's a relationship where you're saying exclusively, I 250 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,720 just want to get to know you. I don't want to get to know 251 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:50,760 other ladies. I want to get to know you for 252 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:53,320 this period of time. And as we move through this 253 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:56,640 season of a relationship, we're moving towards more 254 00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:58,600 intentionally discerning if we want to get engaged. 255 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,760 And then engagement is a serious discernment on do we want to get 256 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:05,120 married? There's a good friend of mine 257 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,160 that lives in the Houston area, works for ExxonMobil. 258 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:15,620 And right now they're, they just bought a house next to his in 259 00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:19,440 laws and they're, they're remodeling the house right now 260 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,400 before they move in. And I was having a conversation 261 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:25,840 with him recently and he was like, you know, 10 years ago, 262 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:29,560 this would have really scared me because I'm, I'm moving into my 263 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:32,520 dream home right across the street from my in laws. 264 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:36,920 And he's like, I can he, they have, you know, 4 kids at this 265 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:39,040 point. And he's like, I can see the 266 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:43,400 next 35 years of my life. I can, I can, I'm going to be in 267 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:44,800 this house. Plan is to be in this house 268 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:47,360 until I die. He's like, so I can, I can 269 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,640 really see the next 30 years of my career and, you know, you 270 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,120 know, the next, you know, 60 years of my life in total. 271 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:56,520 This is where it's going to be, you know, definitively in this 272 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:59,640 direction. He's like 10 years ago, that 273 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,280 would have scared me so much because like, at this point in 274 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:06,920 my life, like that gives me honestly so much happiness. 275 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,800 And I walked away from that conversation. 276 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,360 I was like, that's really interesting because I think 277 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:13,280 that, you know, one of the things that I've struggled with 278 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:17,760 in my life just in general, this goes even beyond dating, is just 279 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:22,120 being noncommittal, like trying to keep options open at all time 280 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:23,880 because I'm afraid of making a mistake. 281 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,360 You know, I would say there's probably different moments in my 282 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:30,040 life where I've experienced decision anxiety, you know, 283 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,600 either, you know, when it comes to asking girl out. 284 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:34,960 I think one of the unspoken fears there, especially when 285 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,920 you're friends with someone, is that if I clarify my feelings 286 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,440 and I asked them out on a date and they say no, I'm going to 287 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,720 lose the friendship with them and it's going to be awkward 288 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,400 now. So I'd rather just live in this 289 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,320 Gray zone and be noncommittal because at least I can be, I can 290 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:51,160 be friends with this person. But that that idea of, you know, 291 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:54,440 when you're, you know, in college or in your early 20s, 292 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,560 you've got your entire life in front of you. 293 00:14:56,560 --> 00:15:00,120 And it's like your, your life could go in a series of 50 294 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,160 different directions and you have no idea yet. 295 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:05,600 And that feels like a lot of freedom for you at the time. 296 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:08,000 But what I was seeing in this friend of mine that lives in in 297 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,840 Houston is that actually the freedom came for him when he, 298 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:16,240 you know, had the audacity to make decisions that set out, you 299 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:19,800 know, a path form over the next 50-60 years of his life until 300 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:22,680 the day that he dies. How have you guys seen that kind 301 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,880 of dynamic play out, particularly amongst young 302 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,480 people, perhaps even beyond dating? 303 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:29,840 Just the idea of being non committal in your life and not 304 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:33,160 being willing to set a clear vision and direction for where 305 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:38,480 you're going. I always need to have like a 306 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,320 three-year, five year picture in my head. 307 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:44,520 So I'm probably on the extreme of being hyper intentional to a 308 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:47,160 point where when the plan doesn't work, I get really 309 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,640 frustrated. But I think for for our 310 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,760 listeners, people probably in there, you know, late teens, 311 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:58,760 20s, maybe early 30s, Arthur Brooks, who is one of my 312 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:01,920 favorite kind of speakers authors, he talks about these 313 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:05,640 different decades of our lives. And he says in your 20s, your 314 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:09,360 20s is about decision making. So you are making decisions on 315 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:13,520 job, career, family, relationships, your humanity and 316 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:15,480 where you're going to live. That's how he defines your 20s. 317 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:19,280 In your 30s, you're settling in and living with the reality of 318 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:21,120 those decisions. You're kind of receiving the 319 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:24,600 consequences of the decisions you've made in your 30s and then 320 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:27,480 in your 40s and 50s you're helping those around you make 321 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,240 those decisions in their 20s and 30s. 322 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,600 I love how he breaks that down. I think most of our listeners 323 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:36,080 are probably in that stage where they're not yet at your friend's 324 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,000 stage where they're looking at a 10 year decision. 325 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,800 They're at a stage where they're looking at a six month to a year 326 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,880 to a two year decision. Where am I going to live post 327 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,480 grad? Who am I going to date? 328 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,120 Am I? Do I want to propose to this 329 00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:47,960 person? What's the first job I'm going 330 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,280 to get? Maybe the second job, maybe the 331 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:51,440 third job. Those are all kind of six months 332 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:54,440 to one year to two year decisions. 333 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:59,120 I would almost argue those are more terrifying because if 334 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,960 you're just a little off kilter in that decision, you know, we 335 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,720 know the old analogy of if you're, you know, 5° off and 336 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:06,800 driving to DC, you'll end up in New York City. 337 00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:10,000 And that's kind of where our listeners may be is that 338 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,400 decision. Fear of man, if I'm just a 339 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:17,480 little bit off here, if she isn't perfect in every way, then 340 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:20,200 when we're 40, we're going to have a marriage that's falling 341 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,480 apart. So I think I relate to you, to 342 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:26,280 our listeners, and in that fear having gone through that. 343 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,880 But I think the reality is if you don't make a decision at 344 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:32,280 all, you're therefore making a decision, which is to not move 345 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,560 forward. And sometimes, especially with 346 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:37,840 dating, the best way to figure out is to go on dates. 347 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:41,360 And I'll make a bold statement that I think guys should maybe 348 00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,760 even date multiple women at the same time. 349 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:48,760 Now I'm not saying invite 2 ladies out to a dinner and only 350 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,680 talk to one of them, but take a girl out for coffee, have 351 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:53,160 another one scheduled the next day. 352 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,760 People think there's something wrong with that. 353 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,840 I think that's just a volume shooter. 354 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:05,240 Well, I think honestly, I think what people feel around that is 355 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:09,280 the reason they feel that way is because primarily this is how I 356 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:12,360 see it unless there's, you know, a lot of people are dating off 357 00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:14,560 of dating apps right now through Hinge and things like that. 358 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:18,000 But thinking from, you know, from my college experience, I 359 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:22,320 wasn't asking a girl out on a date unless we had probably 360 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:27,000 flirted for like 5 months, you know what I mean? 361 00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:28,600 And so it's like if you're dating. 362 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,840 Maybe not a best practice. Yeah, maybe not a best practice, 363 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:34,680 but I think that's the the the fear there is like if I'm going 364 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,760 to be taking multiple women out on dates, there's like this 365 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:41,080 build up to to the date even in the in the first place. 366 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:46,160 Well, I, I honestly feel bad for people who are dating post grad. 367 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:49,000 And here's what I mean. When you're in college, it's 368 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,640 really easy to meet a ton of different ladies. 369 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,800 You're, you're constantly in social situations where you're 370 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:58,680 just meeting new people. And so your ability to find 371 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,960 people that you're interested in is just a lot higher. 372 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:04,720 So I talked to people on dating apps and you know, first of all, 373 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:08,000 I was pretty anti dating app. Like, oh, you, you know, dating 374 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,160 app. That just means you can't, you 375 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:13,280 can't meet people in real life. But then I, I started hearing 376 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:14,960 them and they're like, dude, I just don't have a ton of 377 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:18,440 opportunities to like go meet women, you know? 378 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:21,280 And so I'm going to try to see if there's people I connect with 379 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,400 online and then I can get to know them in person. 380 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,160 And we have great friends that have met their spouse on dating 381 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:27,520 apps. I don't see anything wrong with 382 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,120 that. But I think when you're post 383 00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:32,640 grad, where are you going to find those connections? 384 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:36,520 Church maybe? Church work, work but like and 385 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:38,760 then mutual friends. Mutual friends, people setting 386 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,600 you up. I remember in college getting 387 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:46,160 set up was the ultimate kind of dig that you can't actually meet 388 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:48,920 someone yourself. But now post grad, I love 389 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,240 setting people up. I got 2 great people, let's 390 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,880 connect them. So I think really what we're 391 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:56,960 kind of hitting on here is just that in, in life in general, 392 00:19:56,960 --> 00:20:00,480 particularly at a young age, there's so many doors that are 393 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,280 open. And I think, you know, trying to 394 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:07,440 think back to where my mind was when I was 19/20/21 years old is 395 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,080 that every single door is open. And as I start. 396 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:13,600 Walking through those doors, some of them are going to close 397 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,800 and that's kind of a scary thing, especially if you see one 398 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,800 door close, 2 doors close, 3 doors close. 399 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:22,160 And then you're kind of wondering, you know, do I even 400 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,240 walk through any more doors because at least I can keep them 401 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:29,840 open and, you know, not have to know what's necessarily on the 402 00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,640 other side of those things. But ultimately, you know, 403 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,920 stepping through those doors, making these little, you know, 404 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,000 if you want to call micro commitments, you know, a micro 405 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,160 commitment to, you know, going on a date or a micro commitment, 406 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,840 I don't know, even to like look like things like an internship, 407 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,160 like just, you know, you're trying to figure out a direction 408 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,160 for your life and the amount of options that you keep open 409 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,760 prevent you from actually taking steps to go in that direction. 410 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:55,040 So being willing to make these micro commitments, particularly 411 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:58,200 when it comes to dating of just like, dude, just ask the girl 412 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,560 out on a date, if the door closes, the door closes, at 413 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,960 least you know that that's not the one and you can move on and 414 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,160 you can go to the next one. And ultimately when you make 415 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:09,200 those decisions like that, that type of clarity, it while it 416 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:13,760 might be fearful in the moment, ultimately brings peace. 417 00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:17,600 So my question to you guys is, do you think that this non 418 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:20,880 committal nature just in general and this non committal nature 419 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:24,000 and dating is something that breeds anxiety in young people 420 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:30,360 100%? Yeah, I mean, I think that's 421 00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:34,760 what get, I think it was you that said it on my Cliff. 422 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:40,040 Indecision is a decision, right? It's like, OK, I don't want any 423 00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:44,240 of these doors to close and so you know, I'm not going to make 424 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,880 a decision. But then you're not actually 425 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:49,400 living what's on the other side of any of those doors either. 426 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:55,560 So you're not enjoying what they're what's on the other side 427 00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,480 of the doors anyway, You know, So it's like, it's the same 428 00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,120 thing as I'm being closed because you're not actually 429 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,400 doing anything about it. And I think that's what brings a 430 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:06,720 lot of anxiety of like, well, you know, you can feel trapped. 431 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,800 I'm not saying it's a reality, but you can feel trapped like, 432 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,280 well, damned if I do, damned if I don't, if I go through a door 433 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,480 and close this. But if I don't go, then I'm also 434 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:17,080 stuck with nothing. And I think that you can really 435 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:21,400 spiral from there. Well, I think for men, you know, 436 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,200 we are, we are designed to be active. 437 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,200 We are designed to be the initiator. 438 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:30,800 But we fall frequently into the sin of Adam where we're just 439 00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,640 totally passive and we're waiting for things to happen to 440 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:35,680 us. And it's not going to happen if 441 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:37,360 you're just waiting. It's not. 442 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:41,080 And so until you're consistently putting yourself out there, the 443 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:42,920 risk of rejection. I mean, I was talking to a 444 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:45,640 friend. He's he's been rejected the last 445 00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:49,680 16 women he's dated. Props to him. 446 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:52,280 He hasn't even been able to get off to first aid. 447 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:55,560 In the last two years, he's taken 16 different women out on 448 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,160 dates, and now he has a girlfriend. 449 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:02,440 He he found one, but it's like, that's so hard. 450 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:03,600 Yeah. Like, I don't. 451 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,160 He was telling me he's like, I don't even want to ask any, any 452 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:09,720 girls out because I'm so sick and tired of being told no. 453 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,320 And he's like, I'm so confused because all my buddies are 454 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,920 telling me you're like the best looking guy among us like. 455 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:16,240 What is your? Problem. 456 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:17,440 What? Can't you figure it out? 457 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:21,280 You know, and anyway, so I don't blame people when they're just 458 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,240 like, dude, I've been rejected like 10 times in a row. 459 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,280 If I can, I can never figure it out. 460 00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:29,320 So just got to keep shooting. Got to keep shooting. 461 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:33,480 What's your ideal first date? We got a guy out there who's 462 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,320 like, hey, I got a girl I'm interested in, you know, cute 463 00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:38,400 little brunette. I want to take her out. 464 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:40,520 I need a playbook for first date. 465 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:44,960 What are you drawing up for? You know, we were in college, 466 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,160 John Michael, we were. There was a spreadsheet that was 467 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,040 going around. Do you remember this? 468 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:52,120 Oh, yeah. It was like good first date, 469 00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:56,280 College Station, first date, first date, you know, ideas, 470 00:23:56,440 --> 00:24:00,360 type of thing I think. We'll just hit water or glow. 471 00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:02,040 In the dark, golf balls into Lake I. 472 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,320 Think you did that? I don't know if did I do how fun 473 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:06,760 you did. That's a colon. 474 00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:08,520 It might have been. It might have been calling. 475 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:13,000 So I, I like stuff like that. My advice to people is first 476 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:18,080 date, have three things planned. OK, I know people may be scared 477 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,880 when I say 3 have an intentional time. 478 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:24,440 Maybe it's a short casual dinner, maybe it's a drink. 479 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,320 Happy hour, 5:00 PM short intentional. 480 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,840 So like don't make it an hour and a half long dinner. 481 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:34,520 Go in, grab a drink, then go do something fun so that you can 482 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:38,240 actually have some distraction to the conversation and then 483 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,200 leave that third option available. 484 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,240 But you don't necessarily have to plan it. 485 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:45,000 So it's like we're going to do happy hour. 486 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,920 We're going to go hit glow in the dark golf balls or do a, you 487 00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:51,560 know, painting event or bowling or whatever. 488 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,760 And then have in your back pocket a post event, like an ice 489 00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:59,680 cream, a walk, late night coffee, something like that. 490 00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:02,760 If it's going really well, If it's going really well and 491 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,840 you're really enjoying it, throw that one out there. 492 00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:08,520 But don't make it longer than like 4 hours. 493 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:12,440 Yeah, yeah, Max. What was I was going to ask? 494 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,320 What was your first date? With Emily. 495 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:19,160 Oh man. First date was ice skating. 496 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,280 No, it was it. We went to the Pro Museum in 497 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:25,120 Dallas. Fun activity and then we went 498 00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:27,480 and gotcha bullet. I I have a memory of y'all going 499 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:30,120 to the alpaca farm. No, no, no, that was. 500 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:34,960 A different girl that was a different girl that was before. 501 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:35,640 Emily. Yeah. 502 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:37,360 Well, you know. It's funny, I have one of your 503 00:25:37,360 --> 00:25:41,760 books at my house and it's theology insanity. 504 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:43,800 Oh, love that Frank she'd. Yeah. 505 00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:49,680 And there's there's a a bookmark in there which is it's an alpaca 506 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:51,960 farm postcard. No, Yeah, yeah. 507 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,080 And I was like, I should give this to John Michael because I 508 00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,080 think that was his first date with Emily. 509 00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:00,440 No, don't, don't. Didn't work out. 510 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,360 It was a wonderful date. She wasn't the one. 511 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,640 I would say a lot of my date ideas because to your question, 512 00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:11,120 I would always say like, OK, do something that's a little fun. 513 00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,000 Maybe he has a little competition, but that could be 514 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,600 fun. But that's distracting enough 515 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,480 that you can still have a conversation, but you don't have 516 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:18,960 to look at each other. Yes, right. 517 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,640 And I'm like thinking through a lot of the ideas, things that 518 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,080 I've done or think like the ideas that I've given to people. 519 00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:28,880 And a lot of them I'm like, I don't know if this would be fun 520 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:32,280 post college. Yeah, like I feel like a lot of 521 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:36,000 them are like college ideas, you know, like putt putt or like 522 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:36,960 that. 'D be fun. 523 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:41,200 I think we both use this date where you paint each other. 524 00:26:42,120 --> 00:26:47,760 Well, OK, clarify. Where you get like a a small 525 00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:52,240 little canvas and oh, OK, you're you, you like get some wine or 526 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,280 maybe some beer. Yeah, it sounds like a married 527 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:55,280 guy and you're you. Paint. 528 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,040 You paint. You can get like 30 minutes to 529 00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:58,240 paint each other's faces. Yeah. 530 00:26:58,680 --> 00:26:59,720 Yeah. And then you like trade? 531 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:01,640 And you're kind of really fun and chatting because. 532 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,440 Unless you're a really good artist, but I'm like, would that 533 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:05,080 be fun? Is like. 534 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:06,360 Yeah, absolutely. No, it'd be. 535 00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:11,280 It'd be awesome, right? My first day with Reagan was we 536 00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:13,760 went to, I picked her up and we went to Chick-fil-A. 537 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:15,000 See. Perfect. 538 00:27:15,120 --> 00:27:18,800 Yeah, easy cash, nice and easy. We were in San Antonio at the 539 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:20,560 time. And so then we, I drove her 540 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:24,320 over, went to the UTSA baseball game, which was super fun 541 00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,080 because we just like walked around the ballpark for a little 542 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,040 bit, watched the game. Where were we going to fight 543 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:29,400 about this? I'll get into it. 544 00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:31,520 In a bit we got into a fight like. 545 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:32,800 You were telling him that's a horrible. 546 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:33,640 Play. We'll get back to it. 547 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,480 We stayed for like 4 or five innings, You know, you're 548 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,600 watching the game, you're chatting. 549 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:41,120 And then it was going well. So we went and got a drink 550 00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:43,160 afterwards and I took her home and then I went back to Jose's 551 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:44,840 house because I was staying at at his place. 552 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:47,240 That's a blueprint. So you had the third, you had 553 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,320 your third option. That was exactly you made me 554 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,720 think of it. Yep, but I don't remember 555 00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:55,640 getting in a fight with you. So I remember because this is 556 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:57,360 the second time y'all went on dates right? 557 00:27:58,200 --> 00:27:59,680 Yeah. I mean we went on like 2 days of 558 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:00,520 sophomore year. Right. 559 00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:01,880 And then? And then we didn't. 560 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:04,320 Some homeless guy try to steal your date spot. 561 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,640 It was when he did the painting. Yeah. 562 00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:08,040 Yeah, that did happen. Yeah. 563 00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:15,240 But anyways, we I was having Clayton UPS like you need to go 564 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:16,400 ask right now. Right now. 565 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:19,080 And we are at your house and college and, you know, he's kind 566 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,240 of getting hot topic. And he goes and he comes back 567 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:23,160 and we celebrate. We, we smoke a cigarette, we 568 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,680 drink a beer. And then he's like, all right, 569 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,240 here's my plan. And he tells me this. 570 00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:32,640 And now I don't know how much of our listeners know this, but I 571 00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:35,960 think baseball is the worst, most boring thing of all time. 572 00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:39,440 Like I can't stand. It kind of like golf, but you 573 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,560 can move. It's kind of like like if you 574 00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:45,280 don't like being intellectually stimulated or having to like 575 00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:48,000 think about things, like you might like base no. 576 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:51,200 And so I've actually come around to it because of you. 577 00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:54,320 But I just remember thinking like, man, that sounds awful. 578 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:58,520 And also to our listeners, if you don't know this about me, 579 00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:01,400 I'm very, I have very stoic expressions, even when I am 580 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:02,760 excited, like I don't show it much. 581 00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:05,000 And so you looked at me and said, what do you think? 582 00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:09,320 And I'm thinking like, I, I can't tell what I think. 583 00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:10,800 I was like, oh, that sounds, that sounds good. 584 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:12,960 Clayton, I think you guys will have a lot of fun. 585 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:15,440 And you're like, you don't think that you think it's a bad idea. 586 00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,000 Look, I don't think it's a bad idea. 587 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:20,360 I just it's not something I would do and I've never seen you 588 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,880 more angry with me. We like got into a yelling match 589 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:24,640 because you were like, well, this is a good idea and it's my 590 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:26,360 idea. This is my good idea. 591 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,480 This is my date. And I was like, I'm not trying 592 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,600 to tell you change it. And we just kind of went. 593 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:31,800 I just. Needed you to be a hype man. 594 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,000 That's what I needed from you in that. 595 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,240 Moment I know and I and I fell short, yeah, because I don't 596 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:37,560 like baseball. I will say that later on. 597 00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:41,240 I did go, it wasn't a date, but I did go to a baseball game with 598 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,120 a girl and it was like really fun because there's something 599 00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:47,280 that you can do, you can talk without having to I think, the 600 00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:48,840 whole time. That's the, that's the most 601 00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:51,360 important part of any first date because what you don't want to 602 00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:55,520 do is you don't want to go to a nice Italian dinner and you've 603 00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:58,280 got your salad, your main course and your dessert afterwards. 604 00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:02,000 And that's a, that's an hour and a half to two hour long 605 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,920 commitment of sitting across the table from each other and 606 00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:06,240 looking at each other in the eyes and asking questions too 607 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:07,920 much. And it, it, it could, I mean, 608 00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,160 frankly, it could go well. Like, let's be honest, like it 609 00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:12,880 could go really well. There's a possibility of that 610 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:14,840 happening. But I think on a first date, you 611 00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:18,320 want to leave room for, OK, if this doesn't go well, I don't 612 00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:21,720 want it to be extremely awkward. So if we can have an activity 613 00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:23,960 somewhere in there. Not just that, but also for a 614 00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:26,360 first date. If a goal is of going on these, 615 00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:29,560 it's to get to know each other. There's an understanding that we 616 00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:30,720 still don't really know each other. 617 00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,440 And it is gonna be a little awkward, right? 618 00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:35,960 By its nature, yeah. It just gives you something else 619 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:38,520 to focus on. You know, what we haven't talked 620 00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:41,400 about is I don't know about y'all. 621 00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,600 At least I feel like growing up I was always told that a date 622 00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:46,960 was movie and a dinner or dinner and a movie. 623 00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:49,640 Yeah, why is that? Like that's an awful. 624 00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:52,240 Datable first. It's it's because people, men 625 00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,960 are inherently uncreative for dates. 626 00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,440 Like, was that just a thing in the parents generation? 627 00:30:57,960 --> 00:30:59,920 I think people just want an excuse to cuddle. 628 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,880 Hey, I think you're really cute, I would love to sit next to you 629 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:04,360 and not talk to you for the next two or. 630 00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:06,720 Three hours in a dark theater if you can't. 631 00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:07,880 See you. Yes. 632 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:13,920 Where I can't see you or talk to you, but maybe our pinkies will 633 00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:21,360 touch it. I I took a lot of girls to movie 634 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,160 dates in high school. Did you in high school? 635 00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:24,120 I did. Too high school, Yeah. 636 00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:27,200 In middle school, it was like the thing you were. 637 00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:31,000 Dating in middle school. Oh yeah, public school and and 638 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:32,120 so. The thing with middle school 639 00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:33,400 dating is you don't talk to each other. 640 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:35,000 No, you, you wouldn't I, you know how many? 641 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:39,800 I had a lot of girlfriends in middle school, but they were all 642 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:43,360 like 2 weeks, maybe a month. And it was like we were friends 643 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,360 and we would talk and then we'd become official. 644 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:48,720 And it would usually start from playing with 20 question, game 645 00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:52,400 over text, you know, And then by the question #3 so one, who do 646 00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:53,400 you like? Someone would say, who do you 647 00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:55,840 like? And then you'd say, IDK, you :) 648 00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:58,800 you know. And then next thing. 649 00:31:58,800 --> 00:31:59,600 You know you're serious. Yeah. 650 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:01,880 Next thing you know, your boyfriend, girlfriend, and then 651 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:04,440 you stop talking to each other. I remember one girl in 7th 652 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:08,400 grade, we became official and then I found out she was at the 653 00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:12,400 mall that my family was going to for like, some shopping that 654 00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:14,560 day. And like, I, I turned off my 655 00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:15,640 phone. I stopped replying to her. 656 00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:18,200 And I was just, like, scared to run into her. 657 00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:20,440 Yeah. And afterwards, I, like, call 658 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:21,880 her as a ham. So sorry my phone died. 659 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:24,600 Like, oh, you were at the mall too? 660 00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,040 Like, that's crazy. We didn't. 661 00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:29,680 I wish my phone wasn't dead because I was just so scared to 662 00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:31,680 see run into people. I don't know what I'm talking 663 00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:33,720 about movies. In 6th grade, we'd go to the ice 664 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:35,920 rink and that's where you would take a girl on a date. 665 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,040 That's a great date, which is a. Phenomenal. 666 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:42,040 I I took it. Was movies just every single 667 00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:43,600 Friday? The thing about ice skating, 668 00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:46,960 it's a great opportunity to, you know, grab the hand. 669 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:50,560 Oh, you're falling, boom, I got you. 670 00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,720 Boom. Hand, Yeah, yeah. 671 00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,960 Oh wow, hey, let me help you up. Oh, we turned into a hug. 672 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,960 Oh, next thing you know, making out in the middle of the ice 673 00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:01,720 rink. While spinning. 674 00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,360 Wasn't that your The worst piece of dating advice you heard was. 675 00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:08,280 Kissing on the first date. That was the second. 676 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:09,640 It was the second date. Ice skating. 677 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:11,520 All right? When? 678 00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:13,720 I don't know if we want to get into this. 679 00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:18,320 When do you kiss? Colin Klein would say. 680 00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:20,680 Not till you're married. That's that's true. 681 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:27,920 I my instinctual I don't even know if this happened on on my 682 00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:31,960 third date with with Reagan, but my my thought was the third date 683 00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:36,400 a light, a light Peck, a nice Peck, a good little Peck my. 684 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:39,480 My gut also tells me before you become official, because there's 685 00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:42,160 still a little risk and it's kind of fun. 686 00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:43,600 What if you hit teeth? What? 687 00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:45,640 No risk of like what if she? What if she doesn't want? 688 00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:46,680 Yeah. What if she doesn't want to kiss 689 00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:47,600 you? Because once you become 690 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:49,640 official, there's no risk. She just want to kiss you. 691 00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:51,320 OK, fine, whatever, we'll kiss later, you know? 692 00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:54,480 But before you become official, the first one like you don't. 693 00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:57,120 You don't know how she is thinking, you know? 694 00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,720 I tried to kiss Emily two different times before we 695 00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:00,880 started dating. I got turned down. 696 00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:03,360 Both sides, really. Yeah, it's actually a great 697 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,440 story. I, I tried to, I had this one 698 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,800 move in college. I I pulled it with multiple 699 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,120 women. I take him to the academic 700 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:14,159 building, which was like looking out above campus, and I'll play 701 00:34:14,159 --> 00:34:17,440 country music on my iPhone, and we start to stepping Did. 702 00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:21,120 You have a song. 3 for 30, absolutely. 703 00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:23,520 She's like Texas Josh Abbott Band. 704 00:34:24,199 --> 00:34:27,560 So it's 3 for three up to that point, you know, kissed every 705 00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:31,679 time, pulled that move on Emily where country dancing at a 706 00:34:31,679 --> 00:34:34,920 country western bar said, hey, how about how about we let we go 707 00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:37,159 on a walk? Let's get out of here and go to 708 00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:40,719 campus. So we walked to campus, turned 709 00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:42,960 on the song. She's loving it, right? 710 00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:46,320 She gives you that look and you're like, let's go down, 711 00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:49,400 baby. So I lean in, totally turned 712 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,400 down. And I was like, what? 713 00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:52,360 The heck? What does that mean? 714 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:53,159 She. She said. 715 00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:54,520 Or she. Turned. 716 00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:56,719 No, she just kind of turned and she was like, I don't kiss. 717 00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:58,200 I don't kiss unless we're in a relationship. 718 00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:01,840 And I said, which I appreciate that my my response was, Oh my 719 00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:03,120 gosh, I can't wait till Clayton. No. 720 00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,280 You couldn't say that the first thing I said say. 721 00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:09,160 That you can't ask her literally, I said, Oh my gosh, I 722 00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:10,480 can't wait to go back and tell Clayton. 723 00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:13,600 It's ridiculous. Can you imagine? 724 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,120 The girl's like what, Mr. Clayton? 725 00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:19,880 What do you need to tell him? You just got rejected? 726 00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:25,880 But anyways, I lost the battle. You know, the the growing theme 727 00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:28,400 that I'm sensing here is honestly just honoring the woman 728 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,040 that's that's in front of you. You honor her at the beginning 729 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:33,960 by being being clear and asking her out on a date. 730 00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:37,520 You honor her and the type of date that you take her out on. 731 00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:41,880 Not one that creates immense pressure to just like hit it off 732 00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:43,880 immediately and have amazing conversation. 733 00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,800 You know, you want to the first day, ideally you're like, 734 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,920 there's a little bit, you know, left to be desired, you know, of 735 00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:52,240 just like, yeah, that was great. And I really want to go on a 736 00:35:52,240 --> 00:35:53,720 second date. There's more questions that I 737 00:35:53,720 --> 00:35:55,200 want to ask ask you. I feel like we connected there. 738 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,880 We had fun, you know, and so you're not sitting down across 739 00:35:57,880 --> 00:35:59,000 from each other at the dinner table. 740 00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:01,480 I mean, if you choose to go on a date like that, that's fine. 741 00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:04,160 But I feel like in our ideal world, there's some sort of an 742 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:05,960 activity. You're spending time with one 743 00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:08,480 another, you're laughing, you're doing something together. 744 00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:11,680 And then ultimately the, you know, the question of as things 745 00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:14,720 are progressing, I really, you said something, Jose, that I 746 00:36:14,720 --> 00:36:18,520 really liked, which is just that now you're dating, you've gone 747 00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:22,440 on, you know, 1-2, three dates and it hasn't necessarily been 748 00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:25,480 made official yet. And so there's something about 749 00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:27,480 that, that risk that still exists there. 750 00:36:27,720 --> 00:36:30,400 Like I love the fact that you tried to kiss Emily and she 751 00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:32,320 rejected you. Like that's awesome. 752 00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:34,200 Like you, you, you took that risk. 753 00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:36,000 Granted, you didn't really think it was a risk because you were 754 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:39,280 three pies. There is no doubt in my mind. 755 00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:41,000 Part of how things. Work. 756 00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:46,480 I have her eaten out of my hand. But it's all about honoring the 757 00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:49,200 woman that's in front of you and the way that you approach her 758 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:51,400 and the way that you date her. And then then you, the way that 759 00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:54,480 you, you know, respect her when it comes to, you know her own 760 00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:57,360 honestly boundaries when it comes to, you know, physical 761 00:36:57,360 --> 00:36:59,800 affection in the in the midst of the dating process as well. 762 00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:04,760 This was fun man. It's got me like, what's the? 763 00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:07,280 So-called just briefly, what's the most fun date you've ever 764 00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:13,400 planned and been on? So most fun date hands down was 765 00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:16,000 I was planning to take Emily to a concert. 766 00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,600 It was at a an Amphitheatre. It's well known in Bryan College 767 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:24,560 Station, TX Wolf Creek, Wolf Wolf Pen Creek Amphitheatre. 768 00:37:25,240 --> 00:37:26,600 We're supposed to go to a concert there. 769 00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,240 Can't remember the band. Things like Flatland or one of 770 00:37:29,240 --> 00:37:33,360 those kind of like Texas red dirt country got rained out. 771 00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:37,040 I was pouring rain and so I'm scrambling right. 772 00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:38,800 I'm like, Oh my gosh, I had this whole thing planned. 773 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:42,280 It's going to be so fun. I went and got cardboard boxes 774 00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:47,800 and we, in the pouring rain, slid down the hill at the 775 00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,960 amphitheater over and over again on cardboard boxes. 776 00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,520 It's so fun. And had the time of our we're 777 00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:55,920 soaking wet. We're having the time of our 778 00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:58,800 lives, you know, Might have been a little kissing in the rain 779 00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:00,840 action Who's to tell? So you guys were boyfriend 780 00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:02,920 girlfriend? Yeah, second date, actually. 781 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,520 But it was, it was just so fun because it was it was 782 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:10,960 spontaneous. We were laughing the whole time. 783 00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:12,960 Get back in the car. You're freezing. 784 00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,400 Went to Starbucks and got some hot chocolate. 785 00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:18,760 Oh, it's just, it was a blast. And honestly, I'm sitting back 786 00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:21,640 here. I need to do more fun things 787 00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:23,720 with my wife. I was just thinking the same 788 00:38:23,720 --> 00:38:26,000 thing. Like I have gotten, I was a 789 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,920 great boyfriend. I really was. 790 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:31,560 I've planned fun dates. I was creative. 791 00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:35,720 I always had something planned, and all of a sudden I lost it 792 00:38:35,720 --> 00:38:39,040 all and I'm like, all right, can we go to Breckenridge Brewery? 793 00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:41,320 Yeah, sure. All right, great. 794 00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:43,720 And that's just like over. And over here in the chat. 795 00:38:43,720 --> 00:38:48,040 Dinner I'm like I got to get back to old to fun creative 796 00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:50,640 ideas. Fun, spontaneous job, Michael. 797 00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:53,960 That could be a great, you know, another episode topic. 798 00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:57,000 It's like how to have fun with your wife, you know? 799 00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:00,600 I will say sledding down a hill on cardboard boxes with a six 800 00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:04,600 month pregnant wife might raise some questions as well, but I 801 00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:05,720 need something like that. It's. 802 00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:07,440 Probably going to change a little bit weekly. 803 00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:10,320 Most fun date. I was trying to think back. 804 00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,520 Honestly I was trying to think of dates, particularly with my 805 00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:16,160 wife the most. Fun date is actually not with 806 00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:17,440 my. Wife, not with your wife. 807 00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:19,920 Go. Do you go ahead? 808 00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:23,000 Yeah, you got this is. A date I, I think I'm very proud 809 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,800 of this one because I think in our friend we, we shared a lot 810 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:30,360 of dates in college date ideas. And, and this one, I like to say 811 00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:34,600 it's an original and I've given it to a lot of guys that I 812 00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:38,080 worked with post college. And there's a lot of marriages 813 00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:42,520 out there that started with this date idea you for if there's a 814 00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:47,360 first date idea, you go to a grocery store and you say, Hey, 815 00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,920 we are going to go through every single aisle of the store once. 816 00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:55,560 We can't go backwards. We're only going once and you 817 00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:59,080 can only pick up five items and I'm only picking out five items. 818 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:01,680 At no point can you have more than five items in the cart. 819 00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:04,080 So if you see something you really want and you have 5 820 00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:05,320 items, you have to trade it for something else. 821 00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:09,040 So we can't go back for it. And then we're going to go back 822 00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:12,640 to wherever and we're going to see who makes like the best meal 823 00:40:12,720 --> 00:40:14,600 out of these five ingredients. That's a blast. 824 00:40:14,720 --> 00:40:16,640 And it's so fun. It's kind of competitive. 825 00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:18,280 You're not having to look at each other. 826 00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:22,440 No, it does take a little more maybe confidence to pull off 827 00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:24,960 because you got to be OK with. It being. 828 00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:26,760 Horrible. The food being awful, right? 829 00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:30,240 But I'm like you could do if I'm doing that, I'm I'm doing like 830 00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:33,840 tortillas, ground beef, Taco seasoning, cheese, lettuce. 831 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:35,800 I think I did. What? 832 00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:39,480 That's great. I So what? 833 00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:45,560 I do remember what we. Did is because you know, when I, 834 00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,680 when I took the grocery, she's like, well, I feel like you've 835 00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:49,080 had some time to think about what you want. 836 00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:52,280 It's like, that's fair. So whenever we got back, we did 837 00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:57,720 a, a, a draft. And so she went first and I went 838 00:40:57,720 --> 00:41:00,000 second and she could steal any of my ingredients. 839 00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:02,280 She didn't, but I ended up stealing her ingredients. 840 00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:05,920 I ended up making like a it was like a pesto chicken pizza, like 841 00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:07,960 mini pizzas on it and they came. You were showing off. 842 00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:11,560 I don't know if they they were. I mean, that was, those were all 843 00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:13,680 the ingredients. I didn't have any seasoning, 844 00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:18,040 just chicken pesto. But we ended up having a blast. 845 00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:20,040 You know, that's a great idea. She did say it was the best date 846 00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:21,880 she's ever been on. What happened after that? 847 00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:25,280 I think we went on another day and then we we stopped. 848 00:41:26,240 --> 00:41:28,720 She broke up with you. Did you break up with her? 849 00:41:28,720 --> 00:41:31,520 She. Got food poisoning pizza she. 850 00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:33,440 Probably ended things with me if I had to guess. 851 00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:35,880 I remember. Well, now you're. 852 00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:37,760 Happily married. I'm happily married. 853 00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:39,360 I haven't used that day with my wife yet. 854 00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:41,680 Does she know about it? She does. 855 00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:44,920 She does. She can't recycle. 856 00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:47,680 She's also one of the best cooks I've ever met. 857 00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:51,360 And so it's also like, I'm not a good cook in general. 858 00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:53,920 Yeah, yeah, it'd be fun for me because I get to eat her food, 859 00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:57,080 you know. But anyways, that's, that's my 860 00:41:57,080 --> 00:42:01,080 best date, most fun date. But I but I think I've been in 861 00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:03,560 general. Let's let's take an action item 862 00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:05,840 here. Let's take our wives on a fun 863 00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:08,160 date. We'll report back. 864 00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:11,680 We'll report back. To our listeners, Yep, sounds 865 00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,600 good. We are all in on clarity. 866 00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:18,360 We are all in on commitment. We are all in on honoring the 867 00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:21,920 women that you're dating. This is the All In podcast. 868 00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:25,120 Make sure to like, subscribe and share with your friends who are 869 00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:29,040 maybe a little non committal on their dates thus far. 870 00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:30,040 Thanks for listening.