1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:04,200 There are three HS we look for in woman when we're trying to 2 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:09,040 find our spouse. Humor, holiness, and are they 3 00:00:09,040 --> 00:00:11,840 cute? And today we're going to zoom in 4 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:18,640 on humor specifically, but more on why do we as men use humor to 5 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:21,440 get through life right? When does apples connect? 6 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:24,800 When does it actually keep us from dealing with what's really 7 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:28,400 going on? This is the All In podcast and 8 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:50,120 welcome to the studio. You guys have a a joke that you 9 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:52,680 keep in your back pocket for when something gets a little 10 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:58,440 awkward or a little weird. It's probably just whenever 11 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,160 someone says something, I say. That was my nickname in high 12 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:02,760 school. That's a classic. 13 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:05,400 Yeah, so, but it's not, I want to say it's good. 14 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,880 It's good if people haven't heard it before, and it's good 15 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:10,440 depending on what they said before. 16 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:13,280 I make that joke. The first time it the first time 17 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:16,920 someone hears that joke. They love it, it hits so hard. 18 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:20,720 But like by the 4th time or like if one of you all made that joke 19 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:22,960 on the podcast, I would be like, hey, no. 20 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,280 What are you, 11? Just freaking mute yourself. 21 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:28,960 But then I do feel like that there comes a time, maybe by the 22 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:31,440 20th time, where it says become funny again, you know? 23 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:33,960 Well, then a joke kind of has three forms. 24 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:37,560 Funny, cringe, and then it's so cringe that it becomes funny 25 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:39,440 again. That would be one of those it. 26 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,080 Becomes a bit. It becomes a bit, yeah. 27 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:45,560 The other like bit joke that is kind of a back pocket is, you 28 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:50,640 know, if if someone says I I want to hire her, it's like hire 29 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:53,160 her, I hardly know her. You know that joke? 30 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:59,160 Like that went through that. I just feel like that was. 31 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:03,440 That's a very, that's a very niche example like we're talking 32 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:04,920 if we're in a hiring conversation. 33 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,240 I want to hire her. Hire her. 34 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:10,400 Harley know her. It's like the one time it 35 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:11,880 actually makes sense that it's not funny. 36 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:15,800 Or like water, water, water. Harley know her. 37 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:19,560 I think it came from liquor, right? 38 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:23,360 I asked the original. That was the OG joke. 39 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:24,360 Probably. Probably. 40 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:25,600 Yeah. And then? 41 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:27,760 It's on the office, the office, the office joke. 42 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,520 I think it popularized it. Yeah, what? 43 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,800 What did Scott say it? Yeah, Michael Scott. 44 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:33,440 What is the? Context, Scott. 45 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:39,920 They they're on a last name basis, they're really close, Mr. 46 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:44,120 Scott. Oh, me and Scotty, go away back. 47 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:47,360 Yeah, I don't know. I feel like it's a little bit of 48 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:52,240 what I'm doing right now, which is just the, you know, the, the, 49 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,000 the awkward, awkward laugh, kind of. 50 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:56,920 You have a. Great awkward laugh, but your 51 00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:00,120 your laugh isn't awkward, but when you get uncomfortable, me 52 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:01,320 and Jose know because you're just going. 53 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:04,000 To like I did right now. Yeah. 54 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,320 It's nice. I think I've just. 55 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:07,880 I've always been really quick to laugh. 56 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,600 I'm quick to smile. Quick to laugh. 57 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:10,920 Yeah. Quick to love. 58 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,560 Quick to love. Yeah. 59 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:14,000 Yeah. Breakdown barriers. 60 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:16,680 Quick to breakdown barriers. Yeah. 61 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:18,320 This is friendly. Barrier Breaker. 62 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:31,040 Miracle worker Worker. Thank you, Jose. 63 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,160 That was that was wonderful. What? 64 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,760 Why would you or not? Why would you? 65 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:39,280 Why would you do that? I'm like, why do you think humor 66 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,400 bonds, helps men bond so quickly? 67 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:46,760 You know, because I feel like growing up off high school, even 68 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:50,560 college and even now, right, But especially high school when I 69 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,720 feel like you, you notice these things more. 70 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:57,280 Like guy friendships are just a lot of laughing like you. 71 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,680 You become friends with the guy that's sitting next to you in 72 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,200 class because you just laughed at the same thing. 73 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:04,680 But girls, it's like they have to get to know each other and 74 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:05,720 all these things before they come front. 75 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,520 You know what I mean? I think that was always a thing 76 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:10,200 in high school, college. What do you think that is? 77 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:17,680 Why is humor so bonding for men? There's something about I just 78 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:20,079 think of like, male. All of my male friendships kind 79 00:04:20,079 --> 00:04:24,680 of started with this little mutual roasting, kind of give 80 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,600 it, you know, giving it to each other a little bit, kind of see 81 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,280 how much they can take, how much they can't. 82 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,120 Like I have friends where it's like that is how the friendship 83 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,160 begin. You know, we have a mutual 84 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:37,440 friend, Vince, the producer of this podcast, and all of us love 85 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:39,680 to give him a hard time and he gives us right back. 86 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,680 And it's like that's where our friendship started with him. 87 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:46,000 So I think it's a trust thing. It's a comfortability thing. 88 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:49,200 If I feel comfortable enough to give you a hard time and you 89 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:52,800 give me one back, then I actually trust you and I like 90 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:55,040 you. I, I can't remember many 91 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,440 friendships starting off with like, let's just talk super 92 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,800 deep. But it's like, let let's build a 93 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:03,920 trust through banter. Yeah. 94 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,200 Good. What I was going to say was 95 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:09,040 that, you know, women tend to bond more over the 96 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:14,120 conversations, whereas men bond more over a shared experience. 97 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:18,560 And there's something to me laughing together is some form 98 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:21,240 of a shared experience. There's like an emotion that's 99 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:24,560 coming out of you, whether it's like I'm sharing a story and 100 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,840 we're both laughing about it. There's like, it feels like 101 00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:28,400 we're, we're sharing something together. 102 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:29,600 Does that make sense what I'm saying? 103 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,040 It does. I like, I feel a lot more safe 104 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:35,520 to share about my life with someone if we've already spent 105 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,800 some time laughing, right? Because now I try, you know? 106 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,760 I know your sense of humor, so I feel like I know a lot about 107 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,760 you, right? There's more safe. 108 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:43,840 There's different, there's different forms of humor, 109 00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:46,680 though. There's the, I'm, I'm telling a 110 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,160 joke, you know, the, the, the quick, you know, jokes that 111 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,240 you're talking about in response to a conversation. 112 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:56,120 I would say there's humor that comes from storytelling. 113 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,960 You know I'm telling a funny story or an experience of my 114 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:00,320 life. And that's where you thrive. 115 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,200 I think that's where I thrive. Yeah. 116 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,960 And then there's also there's also dark humor as well, which 117 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:10,440 is very hit or man. How do we feel about dark humor? 118 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:17,800 I I think, I think maybe there's a a time and place for it. 119 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,840 And I guess there's two types of dark humor. 120 00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:23,320 There's dark humor that's kind of making a joke of your own 121 00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:25,880 suffering in your life. And there's dark humor that's 122 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:29,600 just like making joke, jokes about things in the world 123 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:33,560 outside of yourself that are kind of maybe shouldn't joke 124 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,440 about that. Yeah, because if it, if it's 125 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:40,320 about myself or like if someone makes a joke about something 126 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:43,880 that they're going through, I'm not saying that's like fine, but 127 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,400 I'm like, well, that's what you're going through. 128 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:49,080 So like that's OK. But yeah, getting a joke like 129 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:50,480 you. Can joke about something 130 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:53,440 horrible happening in your life. Yeah, and everyone laughs at it. 131 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,720 But I'm not going to joke about something horrible happening 132 00:06:55,880 --> 00:07:00,680 even in your life or even in like some someone else's life, 133 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,840 like out there, you know, or like some country that's. 134 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:07,960 I think that's the line. I can joke about my own 135 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:11,840 suffering, but you can't. I will laugh at it though. 136 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,760 Sometimes I think that's even hit or miss as well because you 137 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:18,280 might be going through something that's difficult and then you 138 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:23,040 make a, you know, a humor, a dark humorous joke about it. 139 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:26,000 And then it depends on your level of trust and 140 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,360 comfortability with the person. We're like, I don't know, should 141 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,680 I laugh hard at that right now or should I kind of give it a a 142 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,960 chuckle, a light, a light chuckle? 143 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:40,640 I, there's so many times where I make jokes to people that I 144 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:44,400 don't know well and it's, and I'm just realizing, well, that's 145 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:46,240 probably not the appropriate time and place. 146 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:50,880 We were at a wedding couple weeks ago and a guy came up to 147 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:54,320 me and he goes, Oh my gosh, your, your son is just so, so 148 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:56,120 beautiful. You know, it's just so great. 149 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,720 And for the listeners who may not be aware, I have two boys, 150 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:04,080 hopefully 1/3 soon, but one of them has Down syndrome. 151 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:06,520 And so this guy was obviously talking about my son with Down 152 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,560 syndrome. And he comes up like your son, 153 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:10,840 your son's so beautiful. You know, I just, his 154 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:13,400 condition's so wonderful. And I look at him, I was like, 155 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:15,040 oh, wait, what, what do you talk about? 156 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:20,000 I'm giving him a hard time. And he's like, oh, I, I mean, 157 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,480 his, yeah, his Down syndrome's like, it's, it's really 158 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:24,680 beautiful, you know? And I was like, I don't Down 159 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:25,560 syndrome. Down syndrome. 160 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:26,800 What is that? That's weird. 161 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,640 I don't know what you're, I don't know what you're doing. 162 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:29,880 I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. 163 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:34,559 And he just started this wedding and he was like, oh, yeah, I, 164 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,480 well, and I was like, I'm just messing with you. 165 00:08:37,919 --> 00:08:41,000 And then I just kind of like gave him a punch and he just 166 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,880 didn't laugh at all and just immediately walked away. 167 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:48,240 And I was like, no, that wasn't that probably wasn't the type of 168 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:49,880 guy that I should have done that with. 169 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,720 Yeah, that's. Tough. 170 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:52,880 Oh, it's it was. Hilarious. 171 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,880 If you did it to me, I I think it's hilarious. 172 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,440 But it's like, you never know. Sometimes you don't know how 173 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,200 they're going to react. And so it's kind of a feeler of 174 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:01,960 friendship. Like if he reacted well to that, 175 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,680 I'm saying, hey, let's go grab a drink at the bar, Let's hang out 176 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,040 if he doesn't. I don't want to see him yet he 177 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,960 reacted poorly. Is not a bad thing, because now 178 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,280 it means that you know. I know where he stands on these 179 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:13,360 on. Things you don't want to, you 180 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:14,600 know, you don't want to be friends with him. 181 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:15,840 Yeah, exactly. You say. 182 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,880 Yeah, you, judge. And I don't know if that's dark 183 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:20,720 humor as much as it was just kind of me ribbing him a little 184 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,280 bit dark humor and, and kind of testing him. 185 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,680 Yeah. Like I what I would have loved 186 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:28,080 is him being like, Oh my gosh, that made me so uncomfortable. 187 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:29,840 That was amazing. Yeah, like that was funny, that 188 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:30,760 was. Hysterical. 189 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:37,280 So I don't know, it's a it's a good test of friendship with a 190 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:38,120 guy. Yeah. 191 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,200 And you got to find the line because you got to know what 192 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,040 he's comfortable with and what he's not. 193 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:45,800 How do you find the line early on though? 194 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:50,640 How do you find the line step? Over what you just said, Yeah, 195 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,600 you just kind of. Step over it. 196 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:54,360 And then you're like, Nope, that wasn't it. 197 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:59,440 Yeah, you always you always got to start light and then slowly 198 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,800 turn it out it. Kind of pressing, pressing the 199 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,080 envelope. Yeah. 200 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:08,440 Yep, Yep, Yep. I feel like you you're good at 201 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:12,280 knowing where the line is, but you're also good at being the 202 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,600 one out of us three to cross it most frequently. 203 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,360 I I think it's kind of what I just said. 204 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:20,720 Like I know when I first meet someone I try to keep it. 205 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:25,440 PG. PG But I I will if it's like, 206 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,240 you know, let's say one of y'all is like Ki want to meet my 207 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:29,320 buddy. They're like really funny. 208 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:31,680 You guys get along. Like if I have that Intel 209 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:35,920 beforehand, I might be willing to push things a little earlier, 210 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:38,920 you know, versus just meeting someone for the first time. 211 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,720 I was like, OK, I'm not going to push the envelope. 212 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:46,680 But also, for the most part, it hasn't come to bite me yet. 213 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,680 I feel like I have a good sense of when it's OK to cross the 214 00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:54,720 line, you know, and like around who. 215 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,680 What about that? Didn't you give a talk at a 216 00:10:57,680 --> 00:10:59,880 recruitment event for our organization where you made some 217 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:02,720 jokes that just didn't just didn't land? 218 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:05,680 Or maybe the crowd was like, I don't know about that. 219 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:07,800 This is the first time I'm here about that. 220 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,760 Maybe it happened. You thought you nailed it, Yeah. 221 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:13,960 I guess it's like I was 10 out of 10. 222 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,760 Maybe. Maybe it did, I don't know. 223 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:19,320 Maybe it was just you came off, you were really pushing people 224 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:21,960 in and maybe appropriate way. Oh, I see. 225 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,360 But some people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember. 226 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:27,240 No, it wasn't the jokes. It was. 227 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,400 You said some things that were designed to make people think a 228 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,680 little bit. Yes, and there was one person 229 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:38,000 that said that I was fear mongering by telling him to 230 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,440 think about things. Fear mongering. 231 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:41,920 Fear mongering. Is that like rage baiting? 232 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,520 I don't know, I don't. I kind of just was like, all 233 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:48,480 right, thanks for the Super unhelpful feedback that I'm not 234 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:50,000 going to listen to. Like what does that mean? 235 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,720 But. That was a that was a one 236 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:57,000 individual in a room of what, like 300 people? 237 00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:00,560 Yeah, like it would. You made it seem like I was just 238 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,320 going up there telling jokes and no one is laughing. 239 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:08,800 I gave a talk one time and I was talking about my my wife. 240 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:14,080 And I said that I was, I was using this colloquial 241 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:17,200 colloquially. And I said that when I first met 242 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:21,000 my wife, I thought she was hot. And someone came up to me after 243 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,920 the talk and they're like, I want to tell you, you made me 244 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,560 extremely uncomfortable. Then I was like, oh, OK, yeah. 245 00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:29,840 What what happened? He's like, you called a woman 246 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:33,080 hot. And I am very, very 247 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:37,160 uncomfortable with that. And I was like, I'm sorry. 248 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:41,520 It was just, it was one of those things where it was like I was 249 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,520 used. I was saying it in a joking way, 250 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:46,480 like, Oh, yeah, You know, back when I was in college, all I 251 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,400 cared about was if a girl was hot or not. 252 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,960 That was kind of the context I was using it. 253 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:53,440 And he said he looked at me. He goes, we call French fries 254 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,960 hot, not women. I. 255 00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:58,760 Was. Like all right. 256 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,280 Dude, sweet dude. Thanks. 257 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,280 Appreciate it. Should go get some. 258 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:10,240 Stay at McDonald's, Yeah. I think my my Speaking of that, 259 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:14,600 we have a friend who we will not name, but whenever they used to 260 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:17,200 give talks or anything like that, they always say in my 261 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,920 super hot wife, Do you remember this? 262 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,480 And I don't know if that's where you got it from. 263 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:23,360 Yeah, that, that's. I always thought it was kind of 264 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,320 like I, I, I never thought it was. 265 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:26,880 We like, Oh my gosh, you're calling woman hot. 266 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,080 It's like, whatever. It's more of just like. 267 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,000 It it I always told him it sounded. 268 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,480 It made him sound like he was a 60 year old, kind of like youth 269 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,320 pastor. It made it sound like he was 270 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,200 just he was an older dude trying to fit in with with younger 271 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,120 people, like hello fellow kids, you know, like I call my wife 272 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:45,240 hot. And so I always thought it was 273 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:49,360 funny and I would twist it, you know, and whenever I would give 274 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:54,160 a talk, I'd say like, there's my, my going off of different 275 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:59,040 things that are like big like words and focus, like well known 276 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,720 words and focus. I would say it's like, oh, and 277 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:06,640 my sober and modest wife and I would just use like different 278 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:09,880 words that were like, you know. Very did it really fat? 279 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,720 It had nothing to do with it. I was like, oh, there's my my 280 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,840 very chaste wife. I was like, what? 281 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:17,160 And it just like, you just keep going. 282 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,760 And that's how I think that's how you can start breaking down 283 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,200 the crowd. That's what I was going to say 284 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,160 about you that you do really well is that it's not, it's not, 285 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,040 it's not like you're telling jokes. 286 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,960 It's not like you're using dark humor. 287 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:32,960 It's, it's your, it's your, it's your mannerisms and just, I 288 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:38,200 think colloquialisms that make you feel super approachable. 289 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:42,320 It it, it shows people that you're light heart, you know. 290 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,960 Well, it's funny because there's kind of different types of 291 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:46,520 humor. You mentioned like you have 292 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:49,160 great storytellers and they tell stories and it's just like 293 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,960 you're rolling on the ground laughing because they just seem 294 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,720 to be able to put themselves in situations that are ridiculous. 295 00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:59,640 Then you have like quick humor, people who just like play on 296 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:03,240 words or, you know, use a tone of voice that's really funny. 297 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,520 And then you have people that tell jokes and kind of give 298 00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:09,280 people a hard time in a hilarious way. 299 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:11,280 There's like different types of humor. 300 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:14,360 Who would you say is the funniest of US 3? 301 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:19,120 Objective I think it depends between me and Clay. 302 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:23,080 I, I, I think we're all very different. 303 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,640 I think both of you guys are actually big storytellers and 304 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:28,280 that's how you get humor out. Oh, I got one other funny thing 305 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:31,000 some some people real quick because I think this will fit 306 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,920 in. Some people are just funny. 307 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:35,280 Yeah. Like they're not trying to be 308 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:38,800 funny, but they're kind of quirky and it's hysterical. 309 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,000 Yes, yes, yes. That would be maybe the 4th time 310 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:42,920 I would put you in that category. 311 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:47,480 I think both of you guys fall in the storytelling category and I 312 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,120 think sometimes you'll tell jokes. 313 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,560 John Michael where is like Clayton is not a joke teller. 314 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:55,560 I'm not a joke teller. You will either send that joke 315 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:56,760 you found. Try try hard. 316 00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,480 Not a no. That's only at work. 317 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:07,640 Yeah, you know that. You tried too hard, but like, 318 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,560 you tend to learn more in the joke direction. 319 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:12,280 Where is it? Clayton is a pure storyteller, 320 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,800 you know. I agree with that. 321 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:18,800 I think I learn more in the in the quick, quick, witty. 322 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,120 Let me just get something out like I don't have jokes. 323 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:23,720 If you put me on the spots like tell me, make me laugh, I will. 324 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:24,960 I can't. I think the. 325 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:28,040 Thing, but if we're living life, I will see that's what I was 326 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,840 going to say happened. You, you do. 327 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:34,080 What great comedians do is they find little like things in life 328 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:37,800 that are funny that people don't really notice and then talk 329 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,680 about that and it's hysterical. But I, I feel like we're and 330 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,400 maybe This is why I'm not a comedian. 331 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,520 It's because I only, I can only do it with things that are 332 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:49,440 happening around us, like a very situational humor. 333 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:53,160 And it's only funny if you're like, when I'll give a talk and 334 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:56,040 I'll make a joke, it's like I'm reacting to what I'm seeing on 335 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:57,280 the crowd, what's happening around this. 336 00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,720 And that's what I'll joke about. And it's funny, but I don't have 337 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,240 any jokes. I don't have any stories. 338 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,200 The hardest I've laughed in a very long time was when you guys 339 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:09,599 were over for dinner at our house and you pointed out how 340 00:17:09,599 --> 00:17:13,760 weird and and odd the idea of grinding is. 341 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:18,880 Like in high school you were just like, can we just talk 342 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:24,240 about how weird that was? And I I don't know if I've ever 343 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:27,760 laughed harder in my life than than you pointing out just what 344 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:29,800 an objectively odd experience like. 345 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,400 Why did we do? What a strange thing to do. 346 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,120 Was like our first year of high school and I feel like, I don't 347 00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:39,000 know if it's just the Texas thing, but everyone do it and 348 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,000 you just get in like a line. It's like moms. 349 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,840 You know, it's like your parents, teachers are like 350 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:46,320 watching from upstairs, like at homecoming. 351 00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:49,440 And there's just these huge lines of people, you know, like 352 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:51,640 dancing. They were, they were telling us 353 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:53,760 when we're having that conversation, another buddy of 354 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:57,480 ours was talking about how they had A at his Catholic school. 355 00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:01,000 What did they call it? the IT was like the chastity 356 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,080 prison or something. Yeah. 357 00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:06,400 They like basically if your dress was too short you got put 358 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:10,520 in a room and they came and stapled on more cloth onto your 359 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,920 outfit. But then I just Jose. 360 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,480 Yeah, yeah, yeah, you guys, Yeah, you probably have 361 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,320 staplers. No, I didn't have to wear a 362 00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:22,560 shirt to school. But but they were talking 363 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,760 there's. The good humor right there, you 364 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:25,760 know? They were talking about how 365 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:28,720 whenever like a new person would get kicked into the room, 366 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,760 everyone. Would be like high. 367 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,480 Fiving. Oh man. 368 00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:39,920 Bring back the modesty jail. So we're talking about right, 369 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:41,680 different types of humor. When is it good? 370 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:44,800 And I I think I don't know if we explicitly said it, but I would 371 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:50,040 agree if humor can be a great way to test like a group to see 372 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:51,840 if that's, you know, a group that you get along with. 373 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,760 Yeah, it thinks in common can also be a great way to bond as 374 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:59,040 men, especially because you you said this very explicitly 375 00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:02,200 because we like shared experiences more than anything. 376 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:06,800 On the other side of the coin, we often not. 377 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,400 We maybe we, I do. We can use humor as a shield, 378 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,920 right? So it's like, when does humor 379 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:20,080 stop helping? So I think, you know, when 380 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,160 you're, when you're to go back to the storytelling idea, you 381 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:26,280 know, and, and the, and the, and the shared experience idea, when 382 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:30,320 you're telling a good story, You know, the, the way I think that 383 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:34,320 I tell stories is that, you know, you can take a, a normal 384 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:37,920 moment that happened in life and then you can tell it in a way 385 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:41,720 that's 100% factual and true. But you're, you're using 386 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,880 descriptors and exaggerators in a way. 387 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,280 And you're like moving your voice up and down to, I don't 388 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:50,480 know, to, to make the story more intriguing, more funny. 389 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:53,640 You're getting people to laugh, but you can also tell stories in 390 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:56,240 a way you know, where you're, again, you're doing the same 391 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:57,720 thing. You're, you're telling stories. 392 00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:00,760 You're using your voice, you're lowing your voice in order to 393 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:05,600 affect, you know, an emotion of, of sadness, you know, or you 394 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,360 know, you might. I think Monsignor Shea is the 395 00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:11,080 president at the University of Mary, speaks at her usually at 396 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:12,360 her annual conference every year. 397 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,960 And you know, the way that he, he tells stories in such a way 398 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:19,600 that are that are he, he's this deep voice and you're just, 399 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,520 you're just sucked into it immediately. 400 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,640 Like you, you want to hang on to every single word that he says. 401 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,080 And, and the point that I'm trying to make here is that, you 402 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,600 know, in storytelling or when you're using humor, what we're 403 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:34,720 talking about it as is we're using humor or storytelling or, 404 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,440 or, you know, giving a talk in front of someone as a mode of 405 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,400 connection with a person. Because you know, when you're 406 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,360 using humor in the right way, you're trying to draw someone in 407 00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:45,920 and connect with them. Whereas humor can also be used 408 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:49,080 in the opposite direction where I'm going to try to make jokes 409 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:52,840 to deflect things in order to not connect with the person and 410 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,520 to kind of and to keep things on a surface level. 411 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,280 So that's what I would say. I don't know if you guys have 412 00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,600 have seen that play out in your own life or you've seen in other 413 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,240 guys. What does that look like when 414 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,400 you're using humor as a point of deflection rather than 415 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,960 connection? It's all about it's all about 416 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,720 pain and being uncomfortable with pain. 417 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:15,360 I mean, we were, we were just talking the other day and you 418 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:18,040 know, we all have difficult things going on in our in our 419 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:21,000 lives and Clayton was making a joke out of a difficult 420 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,760 situation happening in his life. And it's just like, that's a 421 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:28,560 natural thing to do when you're hurting and you're just like, I 422 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:32,120 kind of want to talk about this. But at the same time, this isn't 423 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:35,280 the proper environment to fully crack this open with everyone. 424 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:40,440 But I'm, I'm identifying through this joke that there's something 425 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:41,960 there. Like, have you ever heard 426 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,960 someone make a joke and you're like, I kind of want to put that 427 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:49,160 in my back pocket and re ask about that in a moment. 428 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:53,640 That's maybe more intentional or private because I can tell based 429 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:56,560 on what he joked about there, there's something going on there 430 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,840 that I want to check in on, you know, whether it's a comment 431 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:02,640 made about a wife amongst a group of, of men. 432 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:04,920 And you're just like, oh, you know, she's always, she's always 433 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,160 frustrated at me. Ha, ha, ha. 434 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:09,280 And it's like, no, let's, I might circle back with that guy 435 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:10,760 afterwards. Like, hey, you know, I know you 436 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:12,640 made it. I know you said that, but I just 437 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:15,640 want to check in like, is that, is that something you really are 438 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,680 frustrated with? Or is that something that's just 439 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:21,480 kind of funny? So I think humor for men is our 440 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:25,920 ways of in some ways raising a flag and showing people like, 441 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,560 hey, this is going on. I don't really know how to talk 442 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:29,840 about this. I don't really know where to 443 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:31,560 talk about this. I don't really know what space, 444 00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,800 but I just want to let you guys know this is happening without 445 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,080 totally shutting down this moment or conversation. 446 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,160 I would agree with that, but I also don't know if I ever 447 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:43,760 consciously thought that, you know? 448 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,600 I think a lot of times it's unconscious, you don't really 449 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:50,040 know what's going on in here and so just comes out as a joke. 450 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:54,320 But it's totally OK. Like, I'm also thinking of this 451 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:55,560 moment we talked about the other day. 452 00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:58,640 I think it's totally fine for someone to joke about something 453 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,880 difficult in their life because then we we know that we are 454 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,120 going to address it later or that we have addressed it 455 00:23:04,120 --> 00:23:06,680 already because there's that friendship there. 456 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,880 And I think that's also a key factor or a key difference is 457 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:14,200 when maybe there's not that friendship that I can go back 458 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,080 there. Kate, why did you say that? 459 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:18,440 OK, you know, that really funny joke. 460 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:21,360 What's going on? If that friendship isn't there, 461 00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:24,720 that trust isn't built. I think that's when it it, it, 462 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:32,080 it does become like a harmful thing of, hey, are you 463 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:36,040 deflecting or you just, are you asking for help to connect or, 464 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:37,200 or what are you doing here? Yeah. 465 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,800 I think humor builds trust, trust builds relationships, and 466 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:43,480 then relationships can breed those deeper conversations. 467 00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:48,520 But I I maybe would would make an argument that humor is a 468 00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:52,160 absolute necessity for male friendship because it allows the 469 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,520 trust to be built, which allows the the connection to be built, 470 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,280 which allows the relationship to take place, which allows for the 471 00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:00,400 deeper conversations and the the conversations of purpose and 472 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:01,800 meaning to actually find a place. 473 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:05,320 I. Think there's another aspect 474 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:10,160 here, not necessarily, you know, using humor in a, in a 475 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,520 conversation, but I, I was just having a, a conversation with a, 476 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,640 a friend of mine who, him and his wife were pregnant with 477 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:21,200 their first child and they had a, a miscarriage at, at 24 478 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:25,280 weeks, which is a really traumatic experience. 479 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:27,840 You know, for the woman, she has to, you know, birth the 480 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:31,680 stillborn baby and, you know, all sorts of emotions come, come 481 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,400 with that as well. And so I was having a long 482 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,200 conversation with him on the phone the other day and just 483 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:36,720 kind of checking in and seeing how he's doing. 484 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,560 And, you know, they, they obviously have, you know, gone 485 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:44,000 through immense grief, you know, so much excitement to welcome 486 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,160 their, their first, their first child into the, into the world. 487 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:53,760 You know, thankfully his wife has been able to, to get leave 488 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:56,400 from, from work for about, you know, 10 weeks or so. 489 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,680 So she has some time off. But I was asking him, you know, 490 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,840 what are you doing to like, what are you doing to, to cope with, 491 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:05,040 with all that? He's like, well, you know, the 492 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:09,200 baby was going to be do this in in February and you know, 493 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:12,520 they're going to go on a they're going on a ski trip to take 494 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,320 their mind off and just have a good time with one another. 495 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,120 He's like, you know, there's, there's nights where we're 496 00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:19,040 eating ice cream and we're crying and there's also nights 497 00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:22,040 where we're watching the office and we're just, and we're just 498 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:23,720 laughing with one another, you know. 499 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:28,520 And so I think another aspect of, of being a, being a humorous 500 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,640 person, being able to add humor into a conversation is that it's 501 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:33,720 a point of relief for some people that are going through 502 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:36,520 difficult things as well as like, Hey, I can, I can come up 503 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,240 to someone and I know they're going through a lot and I want 504 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:39,680 to connect with them in that space. 505 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,320 But it's also probably going to be good for me in some ways as 506 00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:45,560 well to, to, to, to laugh at the same time. 507 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:47,960 How can I bring them out of that to an extent? 508 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:51,800 And, you know, get them to giggle a little bit, have a good 509 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,600 time, smile a good giggle. You know everyone needs a good 510 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:58,920 giggle every now and again. I hope that no one ever listens 511 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:00,920 to my laugh and be. Like that was a gig, was a cute 512 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:04,080 giggle. How's the thing? 513 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:08,120 I mean, yes, I, I agree 100% with what both of you all said. 514 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,440 And maybe I'm about to say the same thing just in different 515 00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:15,080 words, but I'm like, sometimes it's just feels good to laugh. 516 00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:17,520 That's all there is to it, you know. 517 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,040 Amen, Jose. And it's like, yeah, I like, 518 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,040 like Clayton, you and I talk on the phone a lot. 519 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:25,480 And most of the time we're giggling. 520 00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:28,760 After we after we hang up, me, my wife will ask me. 521 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:30,160 He's like, hey, what did what did you guys talk about? 522 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:35,400 I was like, I don't know. You just giggled 35 minutes and 523 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,000 that's it. It's like, how are they doing? 524 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:37,920 I'm like, I have no clue. No. 525 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,840 Idea. What's going on with the kids? 526 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,200 I don't couldn't tell. You who didn't ask? 527 00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:46,120 Are they, are they moving up? I don't know. 528 00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,440 That's such a relatable experience of like, you hang out 529 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,240 with a group of guys and your wife's like, so how's everybody? 530 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,880 What, how's their marriage? How's their no, we talked about 531 00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:58,840 football for 25 minutes and then we talked about our, you know, 532 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:01,120 bathroom issues for the next 30 and that was it. 533 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,840 Then I had the time of my life. We were, we were laughing. 534 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:10,280 I, I think it was with you recently because we, we saw this 535 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,480 tweet that someone sent us of like, yeah, just went on a boys 536 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:14,520 trip. Yeah, right. 537 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,200 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just went on a boys trip with, 538 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:19,920 with all my guy friends in. I came home and my mom, my wife 539 00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:22,640 asked me like, oh, how was it? How, how is everyone doing, how 540 00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:24,360 their wives have the kids, like, oh, I don't know. 541 00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:26,360 And the wife's like, what would you talk about? 542 00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:32,120 Well, we spent three days drafting which countries we 543 00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:36,520 would take over first if we were dictators and how we take over 544 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:38,880 the world. It's like, what is going on over 545 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,440 there? It's so, yeah. 546 00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:43,600 But laughter, you just laugh all the time. 547 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:50,360 What I would say that I tend to exaggerate some things in 548 00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:52,960 storytelling. Something I would like to work 549 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:57,680 on, something I am working on. However, I do think that 550 00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,160 sometimes the truth can get in the way of a good story. 551 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:08,160 What is the balance between exaggeration and humor and just 552 00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:11,360 flat out that wasn't even true? I, I have a thought on this 553 00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:15,600 because the, the thing that you are a culprit of in storytelling 554 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:20,360 is, is not just exaggerating things, it's inflating specific 555 00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:21,600 numbers. Yes. 556 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,880 Like there was 700 people, there were 700 people there. 557 00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,880 We were playing basketball, was on fire, had 36 points, you 558 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,000 know, over over 2 games. As well, it's like maybe there 559 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,680 was 20 people and you have like 12 points. 560 00:28:32,360 --> 00:28:36,400 But but in my head, the moment was so big that there were 700. 561 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,840 People, yes, yeah. So I think, I think in in my 562 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:43,760 mind, the balance is like, OK, I don't want to lie, you know, but 563 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:47,720 you want to use, I don't know how to describe it really. 564 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,840 You want to use it's theatrical, it's theatrical. 565 00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:55,200 You want to use descriptors of how intense or amazing or. 566 00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:59,840 Funny, awkward. Seven 250 lbs covered in tats. 567 00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:03,680 In reality, six 181. Tattoo. 568 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:04,320 One tattoo. Yeah. 569 00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:06,040 No. But I, I I. 570 00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:07,800 But that's how you felt in the moment. 571 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,640 Like in a moment, though, you're like. 572 00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:13,200 I don't know what that story, I just I just have a problem with 573 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:16,560 reality. I just need glasses. 574 00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:21,280 But I'm also thinking like, at least amongst us, right? 575 00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:25,000 I feel so comfortable exaggerating because I know that 576 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,160 whenever you guys tell me story, it's also exaggerating, you 577 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,760 know? But I know that and I know that 578 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:31,480 you know that too. I know that when I tell you 579 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:35,440 like, dude, I just went to this place and I had 15 people 580 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:36,880 recognize me because of this podcast. 581 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:40,840 We both know that when I said that I met two people, Max. 582 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:43,640 We should have like, like for every story that's. 583 00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:46,880 The way it felt to you. For every story, it's like every 584 00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:48,360 number needs to be divided by three. 585 00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:54,840 At least. Yes, 5. 10 Depends on the 586 00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,480 probably depends on the story, depends on the context. 587 00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:00,840 What's on the context? There's some details, though, 588 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:05,160 that you just need to like. Our favorite story at One of our 589 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,680 favorite stories of all time is the famous chicken nugget story. 590 00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:11,040 And, and I'm not going to get into the details, but one of the 591 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:14,040 parts of the chicken nugget story is that the fry cook 592 00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,360 turned around and there was a burger Patty floating in midair 593 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,640 that the whole world just stopped and the burger Patty was 594 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:23,120 just in midair. Obviously that's an 595 00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:25,040 exaggeration. But you're, but you're 596 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:28,280 describing the feeling that was in the room, which is that 597 00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:30,440 everybody you're building. Suspense. 598 00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:33,040 Everybody in the room stopped and looked at what was going on 599 00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:35,600 in this McDonald's at a certain time as part of the story. 600 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,240 And so that the burger floating in midair, everyone knows it 601 00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,000 didn't happen. But you're painting the picture 602 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,320 of, you know, everything. You know the the room was frozen 603 00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:49,200 at what was going on. When do you know and you know, 604 00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,680 kind of similar to what you guys are saying with exaggeration, 605 00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:53,600 right? When do you know when it's time 606 00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:57,600 to stop the exaggerating, right? And to start kind of being a 607 00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:00,600 little more real, similar to what we're saying when we're you 608 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:05,360 and I specifically huge culprits of this where we'll just talk on 609 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:08,160 the phone 3-4 times a week, but we don't talk about anything. 610 00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:11,080 Is there a line? Where is the line? 611 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:13,520 When do you when do you know when to stop and when to be 612 00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:16,040 real? I've never felt uncomfortable, 613 00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:18,200 like I've always felt more than comfortable enough to. 614 00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:20,800 If I need to talk to you about something, I can, right? 615 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:23,400 But then we never do. Well, there's there's a time and 616 00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:25,720 place there's. I was thinking of this song. 617 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:27,160 It's called Breathe in the Same Air. 618 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,360 A friend of mine sent it to me. You know, probably a year. 619 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:32,240 Ago. Give us some. 620 00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:34,480 Lines, I'm not going to sing it right now, but one of the lines 621 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,600 in the yeah, I don't want to get flagged because it sounds a lot 622 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:39,560 like the real Yeah, because it like they could think that I'm 623 00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:41,880 actually playing it into the microphone and I don't want to 624 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:44,480 get us in trouble. But there's a line in there 625 00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:47,440 where the artist says it's part of the chorus. 626 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:50,320 He says sometimes breathe in the same air has got to be enough. 627 00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:53,360 And what he's talking about is like you. 628 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:56,120 Got deep on us. Well, what he's what he's 629 00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:58,240 talking about is just like, yeah, there's, there's, there's 630 00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:00,720 a time place to have those, you know, deep conversations that 631 00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:03,120 you want to have with friends. But sometimes, you know, in the 632 00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:05,560 in the picture that he's painting within the song is he's 633 00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,800 at a bar with some friends. They're watching a football 634 00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:09,400 game. There's difficult things that 635 00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:11,000 are happening in life. They're not talking to one 636 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:12,840 another. They're just sitting shoulder to 637 00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:14,600 shoulder drinking a beer and watching the football game. 638 00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:17,120 And sometimes breeding the same air has got to be enough, you 639 00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:20,280 know, And I think for for us, there's Jose, I would say, I 640 00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:23,000 mean, we talk frequently and I think there's times where, you 641 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,720 know, we do get into things with each other. 642 00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:27,920 But for the most part, like when I'm calling you and like I'm not 643 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:30,280 calling you for any particular reason, you know, I'm not 644 00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,800 calling you to to ask about something or to tell you 645 00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:34,920 something. I'm just calling to, you know, 646 00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:37,360 to laugh, to just, yeah, just to laugh just like hear your voice 647 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:41,320 and and chit chat for a little bit, you know, appreciate that 648 00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:43,240 because I love you and you're a good man. 649 00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:44,760 Big dog, appreciate that. I love you. 650 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:48,240 Too big dog G. But great, that's for our 651 00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:53,480 specific relationship, but just in general, you know, like. 652 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:54,920 What's the line? Is that what you said? 653 00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:57,320 We have some, we might have some listeners that are like too. 654 00:32:57,320 --> 00:32:59,640 I do that and like, sometimes I feel like I don't really connect 655 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,760 with my friends because all we do is just giggle, right? 656 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:03,880 All we do is just laugh about things. 657 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,920 Which right to to to a point it's OK, but where's the line? 658 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:14,920 I think if if you feel incapable of having a serious conversation 659 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:18,280 with the men in your life, that's the line, that's it. 660 00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:22,600 Or, or you're worried the worst. The worst feeling is when you're 661 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:25,000 worried that if you bring up something serious, that 662 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,800 someone's going to make a joke about you. 663 00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:31,200 So like, hey, you know, can I, can we talk about this And you 664 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:34,840 start sharing something and then I just start ribbing you and 665 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:36,360 it's like, that's when you should know. 666 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:38,080 All right, we've crossed the line. 667 00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:41,720 We're incapable of actually having fruitful and faithful 668 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,120 discussions about serious things in our lives without something 669 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:47,960 real, without, without humor taking a part of it. 670 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,240 I was in AI was a groomsman in a wedding. 671 00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:55,840 And you know, I, I'm a great person to have in your wedding 672 00:33:55,840 --> 00:34:00,360 because, you know, I'll be very comfortable with all the random 673 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:02,800 brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles at the wedding who 674 00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:06,760 nobody else knows. But it I always get absolutely, 675 00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:11,639 you know, hurt by the people they set me up with to walk down 676 00:34:11,639 --> 00:34:13,480 the aisle. It's always like, all right, we 677 00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:15,920 have a crazy cousin who's, you know, it's. 678 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:19,159 Always. They always set him up with me 679 00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:21,600 because they're like, all right, well, at least John Michael will 680 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:25,280 talk to them. So I go to this wedding, I get 681 00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:33,159 set up with not one, but two divorced women look to walk 682 00:34:33,159 --> 00:34:36,679 down. One was 40, the other was 37. 683 00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:39,440 And both of them had back tattoos. 684 00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:42,840 I'll just just put it that way. And they set them up with me. 685 00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:44,480 And I was like, you did me dirty. 686 00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:46,920 You put me with the divorced women. 687 00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:48,840 This is one of those things where he's exaggerating. 688 00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:52,639 No, yeah. It was like 1 girl that's never 689 00:34:52,639 --> 00:34:54,199 been married. The other thing that he did, he 690 00:34:54,199 --> 00:34:55,639 said, and they both had back tattoos. 691 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:58,120 It was like that was the detail that maybe you didn't really 692 00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:00,320 need to say, but you're trying to tell us something. 693 00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,560 Picture about who they were is. About them? 694 00:35:04,240 --> 00:35:06,240 Anyways. Maybe one of them had a fish on 695 00:35:06,240 --> 00:35:11,000 their ankle, you know? It was a full tiger on their 696 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:14,040 back from shoulder to shoulder. And when they stood next to each 697 00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:15,280 other, it's actually one big tattoo. 698 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:21,000 It was one big tattoo. All right, so anyways, it was 699 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,320 the flower girl if we're being honest that's true. 700 00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:28,680 But we're walking or before the wedding, one of them looks at 701 00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:31,040 the bride and they're like, you know, last time I walked down 702 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:34,920 the aisle, it was to my ex-husband as we're walk. 703 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,480 Like, what do you say to that? That's what I mean. 704 00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:41,080 I was just like, and they were everyone was laughing. 705 00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:43,280 And it was like, that's not, that's not funny. 706 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:44,960 Yeah, it's not funny. I didn't. 707 00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,760 Have one in your back pocket to to reply to that in the moment. 708 00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:52,160 I'd say nice back that too. Ex-husband hardly know it. 709 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:02,360 Oh man, it was a long walk down the aisle, let me tell you that. 710 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:06,640 Yeah. So you were like this two. 711 00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:08,520 OK, so let me let me ask you another question. 712 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,080 You said they both had back tattoos and in my mind what I 713 00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:14,680 visualize is their entire back. Is tattooed. 714 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,440 It wasn't like that. Yeah, it wasn't like that, was 715 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:17,560 it? No, but that's the picture that 716 00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:19,320 you're trying to give us. I said back tattoos. 717 00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:21,440 Yeah, but you know, what does that mean? 718 00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:23,160 Your head? Can you tell us what they 719 00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:26,120 actually had that tell us the truth of what the tattoos 720 00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:27,840 actually were? Look, I was trying not to. 721 00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:30,880 I was trying not to focus too much on their bare skin, OK? 722 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:33,880 I don't remember. Did you have a point? 723 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,120 Here's here's here's I think. The point, I think the point 724 00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:42,480 was. Like, I like this story, but 725 00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:45,960 what were we talking about? I was trying to give a real life 726 00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:48,920 example of the value of exaggeration and storytelling. 727 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:52,040 Yes. Well, one, one thing this is 728 00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:54,840 this is one of my one of my last thoughts here is just that one 729 00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:58,880 thing that you also do I think of the way that you you share 730 00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:00,640 your testimony. Actually, I have two thoughts 731 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:02,800 here. One, when you talk about your 732 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:07,000 testimony, you talk about how you went to there. 733 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,800 There's a mentor in your life that you had a conversation with 734 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,400 at a, at a smash burger on campus. 735 00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:15,760 And when you always tell the story, you say, we went in, he 736 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:17,640 bought me a double bacon cheeseburger with sweet potato 737 00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:19,080 fries and A and a chocolate shake. 738 00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:21,800 You know, and it's like when you're telling your testimony 739 00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:26,640 of, of your conversion to Jesus Christ, that's not really 740 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,440 something that you need to know, but it's part of your it's part 741 00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,560 of your storytelling. But here's another thing, John 742 00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,880 Michael, that that both of us are culprits of and in our 743 00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:37,640 storytelling. One time you were sharing your 744 00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:40,400 testimony and without realizing it. 745 00:37:41,720 --> 00:37:48,520 I told someone else's testimony. My testimony and my jaw was on 746 00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:52,240 the floor. Feel like wait a minute? 747 00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:56,560 You don't even know the truth of how your conversion came about 748 00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:58,480 anymore. It's all blending together. 749 00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:03,760 What about the time that can you tell a story about when you told 750 00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:07,120 your testimony, but you actually just told the story of The Lion 751 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:10,200 King instead? Well, I was sitting with a group 752 00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:13,000 of friends and we were sharing. It was a moment. 753 00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:14,880 We were sharing all of our testimonies together. 754 00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:18,320 And to be honest, I, I, I couldn't really tell you the 755 00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,200 storyline of the entire Lion King right now. 756 00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:23,720 It's been a long time. But what I, what I started 757 00:38:23,720 --> 00:38:27,000 sharing was that my father was, when I was growing up, he was a 758 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,440 great landowner. And this is like 3 or 4 people 759 00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,600 have shared their testimonies. And like people are. 760 00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:36,480 Crying, you know, and I started telling I was like, yeah, you 761 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,400 know, my growing up, my father was a great landowner. 762 00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:43,640 And, you know, when I was raised in the family, you know, it was 763 00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:47,160 kind of always a thing of like one day I would be able to in, 764 00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:49,840 in inherit the land. And, you know, this is a big, 765 00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:53,680 you know, kind of a, a family thing that that was going on. 766 00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:58,680 But my uncle was really jealous of my father. 767 00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:01,120 And it's a terrible situation, but one day we were, you know, 768 00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:02,320 we were going out towards the land. 769 00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:08,000 And my uncle actually, he, he, he threw, he threw my father 770 00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:14,640 into a pack of wildebeest and my father died. 771 00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:19,480 And so he's doing this, He's doing this and he doesn't break 772 00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:20,480 character the whole. Time. 773 00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:24,200 Here we go. He's like And then my dad was 774 00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:25,640 run over by a pack of wildebeest. 775 00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:29,160 And I was like. Well, at that point I had, I 776 00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:32,520 had, I had LED up to that point so much where like, you could 777 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:35,200 feel the tension in the room, you know, And then when I said 778 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:37,600 wildebeest, there's one particular person that kind of 779 00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:39,480 like snapped out of it. What are you doing? 780 00:39:39,720 --> 00:39:44,880 It's the plot of The Lion King. So, you know, a good humor. 781 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:46,160 Yeah. And then I jumped into my real 782 00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:48,480 testimony after that and told John Michaels, Oh. 783 00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,800 Man, that was a fun. We used to do that where we 784 00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:57,080 people would ask for our testimonies and we and we would 785 00:39:57,080 --> 00:40:00,520 just share movie plot lines and yeah, figure out if they could. 786 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,760 Figure it out. Yeah, that is funny. 787 00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:09,040 It's also funny. I feel like we all do this. 788 00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:13,360 But depending on what mood you grabbed me in when you asked me 789 00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:16,200 to tell you about my life, like my testimony, I will tell you a 790 00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,000 different story. And they're all true. 791 00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,240 They're all like real things, true, but they're just like, 792 00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:23,600 different. Aspects. 793 00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:26,760 Different nuances you. Know this, this story is more 794 00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:29,440 about how difficult it was for my family to move to a different 795 00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:31,600 country. This one is more about my time 796 00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:33,480 in college and like how I struggle with these things. 797 00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:37,040 And this one is more about how all these other parts of my life 798 00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:40,080 and it's just like, like I've had friends and I was like, how, 799 00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:42,400 how many personalities do you have under there? 800 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,600 You know, there's a lot of testimonies. 801 00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:48,280 It's funny because like in different, different stages of 802 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:51,120 your life, like if I ask you for your testimony right now, you 803 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:54,560 may talk about the last, you know, maybe six to seven years. 804 00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:58,760 Yeah. But I think when, when you look 805 00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:00,960 back at times of your life, like there's different, there's 806 00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:03,720 different things that have happened that are powerful in 807 00:41:03,720 --> 00:41:06,080 each season of your life. So, you know, when I was in 808 00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:07,800 college, I talked about what happened in high school, when I 809 00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:10,040 was in post grad, right after I talked about what happened in 810 00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:12,080 college. And, and now it's like my 811 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:15,000 testimony would be more like what God's done in the last 812 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:19,800 seven years of my life as a, as a dad, as a husband, because 813 00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:22,040 that that story's closer to home. 814 00:41:24,240 --> 00:41:28,360 I think 1 great practical here to close us is you know you're 815 00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:30,040 asking you ask a. Question when you get your pen 816 00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:31,960 going well. That's why, that's why I do pen 817 00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:33,680 and paper. You guys are all digital, but 818 00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:36,360 there's something about, you know, right here, analog ink, 819 00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:41,600 something about ink on paper, big ink you are. 820 00:41:41,720 --> 00:41:46,400 This plant from big You got pens, You got ink on your paper, 821 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:47,880 you guys. See, you're using humor to 822 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:49,880 deflect away from the intentional point that I'm 823 00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:52,320 trying to make to our listeners back home that are really 824 00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:53,600 curious about what I'm about to say. 825 00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:55,400 So I'm trying to be an intention. 826 00:41:55,400 --> 00:42:01,640 Made it this far. 45 minutes and we haven't made a point yet. 827 00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:05,640 But here's The thing is, you know, if you know, how do you, 828 00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:07,240 how do you know it's, it's gone too far? 829 00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:13,720 Is you should probably take, you know, maybe I would suggest 830 00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:17,880 maybe 2 to 4 weeks and, and, and just kind of examine the 831 00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:19,600 relationships that, that you have in your life. 832 00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,680 And like, OK, have I had a serious conversation with this 833 00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:23,480 person? Have I not? 834 00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:26,280 Has it has it been because of this person or has it been 835 00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:30,040 because of, because of me? And honestly, you know, whether 836 00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:32,360 it's like a group of friends or a particular friendship that you 837 00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:35,680 have, just call it out. Just approach the group or 838 00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:38,920 approach the friend and be able to say, here's what you know, 839 00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:40,760 over the I've, I've been thinking about this and over the 840 00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:42,800 last couple weeks, I've kind of realized that we spend most of 841 00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:45,480 our time joking around with one another, You know, and I want to 842 00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:47,880 be able to have, I, I love her joking around and I love her 843 00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,160 humor, but I want to be able to have serious conversations. 844 00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:52,120 And if you can do that, hopefully that's a stepping 845 00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:54,000 stone. If you're, if you're leaning 846 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,840 towards too humorous to, you know, at least have clarity in 847 00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:58,760 the group of like, Hey, we want to get deeper with one another. 848 00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:00,600 And this is a pattern that we have in our friendships. 849 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:01,880 For sure. I love them. 850 00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:06,240 Thanks for sharing, Clayton. Yeah, I, I think as we close 851 00:43:06,240 --> 00:43:11,920 out, just to summarize, humor is a wonderful thing. 852 00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:17,720 It's a gift that can help, you know, men bond and, like, really 853 00:43:17,720 --> 00:43:19,680 help them through hard seasons in their lives. 854 00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:24,000 But it wasn't meant to carry things on its own just by humor, 855 00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:25,760 right? You, you still need connection. 856 00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:29,800 We still need real relationship with other people. 857 00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:34,080 Knowing when to laugh and when to be honest is part of growing 858 00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,040 up. Knowing how to do both is part 859 00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:39,880 of growing up, so if this episode hit close to home or if 860 00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:43,880 it makes you think of any friend that you like to giggle with, go 861 00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:47,440 ahead and send this to them. Make sure you're following us or 862 00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:49,560 subscribe. Make sure you like this video. 863 00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:52,040 This is the All In podcast. We'll see you next week.