Coming from somewhere between the open road and your next
confession line, today we're redefining what spring break can
really be like. Forget the stereotypes of
endless parties and chaos. The ultimate good time comes
from connection, service, and a little bit of carefree
timelessness. We're going to share why hitting
the road, helping others, and slowing down to actually enjoy
the moment will leave you feeling refreshed, inspired, and
maybe even a little holy. Some would say buckle up.
This is the All In podcast. All right, gentlemen, we have
each individually braked during spring back in our day.
I'd love to to hear from each of you some of your favorite spring
break. Experiences hands down, not even
close, sitting with Clayton Ward Caldwell on the white sandy
beaches of Kingston, Jamaica in 2015.
So the, the situation was we went on a mission trip to
Kingston, Jamaica. Amazing, amazing experience.
It was an all men's trip because the place we were going was,
yeah, somewhat difficult. The, the service we were doing
involved a certain amount of manual labor strength.
And so our missionary John, good friend of ours, took us down to
Kingston. I'll never forget, we get off
the airport in Kingston and we're waiting for the car and
I'm like, oh, you know, they probably got Ubers here.
It's not an Uber. It's an open flatbed truck that
looked like it was probably used to move cattle.
And they pull up. I'm like, there's no way.
Sure enough, the brother who we're working with goes, all
right, hop in boys, and we hop in the bed of an open air truck.
And that just kind of dictated what the whole experience was
going to be like. So we served the poor for six
days, really powerful in in the poorest of the poor slums of
Kingston, Jamaica. And then the highlight for me,
which is a great example of just the beauty of good fellowship,
is we serve the poor for six days.
And then on the last day we celebrated and we went out to
the beach. The funny part was it was March
so none of us had a bass tan and it was also Jamaica so they
don't sell sunscreen. Me and Clayton got the worst
sunburns of our entire life on the beach for six hours, no
sunscreen, pasty white, and the next two weeks I couldn't wear a
backpack. I remember being so jealous of
this trip that you guys went on. So it was our freshman year, we
were on the same Bible study and I remember hearing the pitch for
this mission trip. I was like, why would I want to
go on a mission? Trip, you were scared, weren't
you? You were scared.
I was scared of you. It's a recurring theme on the
show. No, I just remember thinking
like, why would I want to go do something for other people, you
know, And so I, I went on AI want a trip with some other
friends. We we took a big road trip to
Colorado and it was wonderful. It was a great trip.
And I remember thinking like those sons of guns have are
having probably like a horrible experience, like we're going to
get back and I'm going to be telling about what a great time
I had in Colorado. We went skiing, hiking, we went
up the the big staircase in Colorado Springs.
The Manitou Incline. Oh yeah.
Like we did, I did all these cool things, you know, and sure
enough, I get back and I just keep hearing stories and stories
about this trip. And I was like, man, I really
missed out. And so for the next 4 years, I
went on a collective 0 mission trips.
But it did definitely impact some of the mission trips I, I
lived through with, with some of my students whenever I was on
campus as a missionary. And sometimes it was mission
trips. I want a handful of mission
trips during that time. But what I the most memorable
for me? We called it our mission trip to
Myrtle Beach. Gotta go save the sea turtles I.
Took The Dirty Myrtle. The Dirty Myrtle.
Yeah, I took a group of it was like 6 or or 7 seniors to Myrtle
Beach and we used to have the time of our lives.
It was so fun. We we went to the beach.
Obviously we played golf at all these different Myrtle Beach
courses. That was super fun.
This was like my first time ever playing golf.
And so I'm bad now, but I was even worse than.
But we did that. We went to medieval times.
No way. It was so funny.
A bunch of dudes. Oh, we got so many pictures.
We, we, we crowned one of our faithful listeners Dirty Josh's.
We, we got him to be the the king of medieval times, and we
got him a picture with the queen at the end of it.
We, we just have the time of our lives.
That would be a great bachelor party.
Bit is, get dressed up like medieval characters and go to
medieval times, have a couple beers in the parking lot,
tailgated a little bit and then just go RIP some Turkey legs.
It was amazing, like a Turkey legs hit just right, you know,
and we bring so loud and obnoxious.
It was so fun. It was a time of our, of our
lives. You know, I, I'm, I'm going to
piggyback off of John Michael here a little bit.
When I think of all the spring breaks that went on, I think
going to Kingston, Jamaica was one of the most memorable.
And I think one of the best things about that spring break
going on mission trip was that one of the things that they do
on the trips is that you don't, you don't have your your phone.
And so, and you also don't really know the schedule until
the day off. And so you're just going
throughout, you know, the six or seven days while we're in
Jamaica and you don't really know what's going to happen that
day until it happens. But I think one of my all time
favorite memories from Michael, you're going to remember this is
when we played soccer with all of the the local Jamaican kids
that was getting. Megged by a five year.
Old, far better than me. I mean, these are literally like
8 or 9 year old kids and we're playing.
It was just like, it was literally just like a dirt
field. And I'm like, you know, they had
goals, but they didn't have Nets behind the goals.
And I was just getting destroyed so much that I, I, I had fall
fallen a couple of times because I'd lost my footing and my, my
ASICS that I brought on the mission trip.
And I just remember both of my knees being completely bloodied
up as a it. Was so funny.
He's like running down the field, limping.
He's got blood pouring down his legs.
And was like, Clayton, just stop playing like we can't have you
injured in, you know, Kingston, Jamaica.
And he just kept going, took the blood, wiped it as eye black on
his eyes and we were rolling. Jose, it sounds like you went on
probably a couple Great Rd. trips.
What is it about the road trip on spring break that's so
special? I mean, you could, you could
make the choice to fly, you know, invest that little extra
money or maybe use points. But there's something about
doing a road trip that just makes a trip like that more
special. Why do you think?
That is, I think that my 2 initial thoughts are suffering
and being trapped, right? I think there's, there's
something fun about the the night before.
You know, everyone says like, hey, when are we getting up?
When are we leaving? And it's always the responsible
one. That's like, all right, everyone
be ready by 4:00 AM and everyone's mad at him.
And then at 7:00 AM and you get in the car.
It's like everyone gets in the car and everyone's miserable.
Just sleep deprived, you know, hungry.
Do we want coffee now? Do we want to save it for a
little bit down the road? I think that's suffering.
Then as the road trip goes on, you know, your legs start
getting achy, start getting a little stir crazy.
That's part of it, like doing something like that together.
But the other part is like you're just in a car together
for such a long time that I just feel like you have no other
option but the connect. And it's like when when I think
of conversations, sometimes things come up and it's like
navigating conversation can be like navigating like a road
trip. And there are all these off
ramps that you could take. But, you know, if you're just at
the office or in college between classes having conversation,
you're like, OK, I don't have the time to explore all these
off ramps. But on a road trip, you're like,
I got nothing better. Dude.
Let's get off every single exit. And let me just ask all these
questions that I would not hear about in any other scenario than
during this road trip. I would say there's like 3
stages of a road trip, so stage 1 is what I call like the rager
stage. You get in the car, everyone's
up early there, it's early and the music is on full blast.
Sun's not up. You were screaming Blink 182 for
an hour straight. You put on Eric Church
Springsteen. The windows are rolled down.
You're having the time of your life.
Say the first phase hour 2 hours, 3 hours Max.
Then you move to the second stage and that is the I want to
Kill You stage where you're 3 hours in.
The guy next to you is just driving you crazy because he's
man spreading. He's got his, his legs totally
spread out to where you have no leg room anymore.
And that stage lasts like one, maybe two hours.
And everyone's just kind of quiet but resentful of the guy
next to him. And then you enter the golden
hour of a road trip stage #3 which is the low key.
Maybe there's some light Gregory Allen Eisenkopf playing in the
background. You, you kind.
Of lose control of the ox. Lose control of the ox.
Because you're so into that conversation.
You're so into it and and that's the point of the road trip where
you just have those powerful conversations.
So it's like stage 1 rager, Stage 2, I want to kill you.
Stage 3 powerful conversation. And I also think in another,
it's kind of forgotten part of the road trip is things that you
normally wouldn't find that funny.
Oh, absolutely. Six hours in the delirious.
State delirious. State, which is like the
smallest thing. I don't know if you guys were
in. We took a road trip, I think it
was our senior college at Kansas City.
And there was one point where we stopped at a gas station and one
of the people we were with just got like snacks that none of us
would normally get. And we thought.
It was hell there. Was it Corn Nuts?
No, it was I, it was like cornats, a banana, a protein bar
and like Muscle Milk, it is a combination.
It's like it's not that funny. But in the moment we we could
not stop roasting this guy. I remember another one, John
Michael. We were Rd. tripping to Auburn
for a football game and I just remember I was in the front
seat. I wasn't.
I wasn't driving, but I looked behind me and John Michaels
sound asleep with a McDonald's bag over his head.
It's still it's greasy from the Mcmuffins that were in there
earlier and the hash Browns just over his head with the eye holes
poked out. Just absolutely sound asleep.
I another funny memory and I also do feel like in Richard's
funny things happen. This was I I took a trip to Ole
Miss with our missionary Alec and I, I remember we stopped in
Shreveport, which is a dangerous place to stop in general.
We stopped. It was late at night.
This is one of those Rd. trips that we we had to leave like
after class on Thursday probably.
And someone approaches. It is like you guys like music.
That was introduction. That was the start.
I was like, whoa, where'd you come from?
You know, So you guys like music?
I'm like, yeah, yeah, we love music and you guys.
All right, let me know what y'all think.
Hands ACD with like nothing on it, just a blank CD and like
walks away like it like disappears into the night.
And it was just he gave us his mix tape.
It was some of the most awful music I've ever heard.
Well, how can I put it on? And I don't think we lasted half
a song. Was it, what was it, country?
Rap. It was a rap mix tape.
It was the worst thing. But Alec and I were just
laughing so much of like, what do you mean?
Let us, let me know what y'all think.
Like a constant wait around that this gas station, will you?
A beer out of the darkness again to give him a note.
Hey, that was really good. Yeah.
You know, there's, there's something about going on a road
trip that just creates space for a friendship.
Like you're saying, Jose, you said you're just kind of stuck
in the car. Like you're saying, you go
through these different phases. You're, you experience a lot of
life while you're on a road trip.
Why do you why do you think we it's important for us to create
that space in order for us to have those deeper connection
moments and, and friendships? And why?
Why is the road trip an an essential part of that?
So we talked about this in a in an earlier episode of the All In
podcast, the art of conversation and how guys don't do well when
they're across from another man. In terms of conversation, the
road trip is perfect because you're not looking at each other
unless you're in one of those cool.
Remember those old school Volvos where there was a seat facing
the back of the car? Like the bucket seats?
Could turn and they could turn just incredible cars.
But you know, generally you're not looking at the guy next to
you. You're just staring ahead at the
open road. And there's something about that
where the mind starts running, the words start flowing, the
emotions start bubbling to the surface, maybe some emotions
that you've been shoving down for a lot of years.
And I think it's that that shared experience of looking at
common object being the road and it just, your mind's not
necessarily on the conversation and it just flows.
It just flows. The best two I I think, is when
I feel like in every single road trip I was on in college at one
point or another, we talked about girls.
Oh yeah. Dating and breakups and it the
egg, it described a lot of what you're describing of.
So there's one guy that, you know, was just looking out the
window as they were talking, was looking at the windshield, you
know, at the open Rd. maybe getting a little teary eyed, you
know, if it's a breakup or just like getting like blushing a
little bit if it's someone they like.
But it's just, yeah, you don't look at each other.
You're just looking at something else.
And it's quiet. And then he randomly goes, so do
you think I should marry her? And it's like you're not even
dating who? So I would argue that the best
seat on the road trip is obviously shotgun.
But the reason that I say that is not because it's shotgun and
obviously you have a seat to yourself and you're not driving.
I would say that it's the best seat because when you're in the
back, you don't have any responsibilities.
You can fall asleep, you can look at your phone, you can do
you can have a conversation, you can just kind of do whatever you
want. The persons that that is driving
obviously has to keep their eyes on the road and drive and you
can have some some light music on, you know, but then the
what's the you guys all know this.
This is like man rule. What's the the person in
shotgun? What's their responsibility on a
road trip? Navigation Music.
Yep. Inspiration.
Sure, the other person's awake. That's what I was gonna say is,
is, is making sure that the other person is awake.
Your job is to be there with the person that's driving the car.
And I would argue that the best conversations happen when you're
sitting shotgun in the car. Do you agree?
Without a doubt, and I would elevate that to even putting a
time stamp on it. The graveyard shift in the
shotgun is best conversation, yes.
Everyone else is asleep you. Can kind of gossip about the
people behind you and they're asleep so they don't know.
But when it's dark, you you you stopped at McDonald's, grabbed a
little MC MC Cafe coffee and it's just rolling.
It's dark outside. It's, I don't know, kind of
emotional. Like I like music when you're
having a deep conversation, like some lo fi instrumentals, even
good Interstellar Hans Zimmer soundtrack.
Boom, very good. You know, the thing about a road
trip is that eventually the road trip ends.
And for the purposes of this podcast, we're talking about
spring break. So we're going to take a break
real quick and we'll be right back after this.
Hey, this is Clayton from the All In podcast.
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the Secret Play app. All right, so you guys just
drove 15 hours in the car, You're at a beach somewhere,
maybe you're in the mountains, I don't really know.
I'd love to hear. Some of us went on mission trips
in college. Some of us did Rd. trips today.
How would you describe your ideal spring break vacation?
Are we talking with families? Are we still single?
You're, you're in college, college, you're in college and
you've got to plan a spring break.
What it what are you doing? What does it look like?
So the first and most critical element is your team.
Who are you going with? Because you have some dudes in
your life who you love to death, but you do not want to travel
with them. We all have that guy in our
life. I'm I'm looking at you, brother
Peter, who you're just like, I don't want to travel.
With that guy. He's going to be a Debbie
Downer, so who you bring is most important.
You need to make sure 5-6 guys. I would put the magic number
somewhere in that 5 to 6 range. Three too much because two guys
get along really well. One guy's kind of left out more
than 6. Now you're in a situation where
we need a minivan. I don't know if we can afford
that. So 5's the perfect.
You can do a sedan, you can do a crossover SUV.
Any size car is going to work. There's also enough guys to
split the drive time up with. So your team's most important
number, 2 is your destination. Where you going?
I think there's there's there's two arguments here.
There's your beach guys and then there's your mountain guys, and
then there's kind of the guys in between that want to do the
California we're going to hit LA and Yosemite in the same round.
Really smart little 2 Fer I I love the mountains.
Frankly, some people might disagree with me here, but
living in Colorado, I love doing stuff together, having some
physical activity and then having some chill time back at
the Airbnb or at the hotel to where you do something physical,
come back, take a nap, 3:00 PM, cook some dinner, have some good
conversation, play a little poker, take everybody's money,
go all in. And then after that, you always
got to think about, is there a person?
Is there a thing that you want to visit?
Because they're kind of like 1, you know, one kind of point in
the trip that's like the highlight of the trip.
Maybe it's bagging a 14 or maybe it's like hitting the certain
church or something. Maybe it's seeing a friend that
you haven't seen a while on the road trip.
I think those are kind of your your three, your team, your
destination. And then you got to have the
high point, the mountaintop experience on the trip.
Yeah. Jose.
I, I would agree with that. I, I for starting the
destination, I think you can make the beach fun, right?
I, I just spoke early in this episode about going to the
beach, but frankly, I think we spent maybe a total of 4 hours
on an actual beach. What there were a lot of
medieval times every night. No, we, we were just doing
things. And I agree with John and, and I
think mountains just make that a little easier to do things, to
do physical things. Now you can't do that at the
beach. And, and we had a great time and
I think it's still awesome to do that.
But at least for me, when I think of spring break, I think
of skiing, I think of the mountains.
I think of that summertime is when I think of the beach and I
agree with with with the group. I and one thing you didn't add,
which I think is crucial to every group you you need a
responsible person. You need a glue guy, right?
When things get feisty, you need that one person that's going to
bring everyone back You need. You need the mysterious guy.
The guy that not most of the people on the trip don't know
that well. That's such a great take.
Because it adds so much, you know, as you get to, you get to
discover this person as a group. That is a great point you need.
The chiller. And then you need the kind of
crazy one, the one that's like, hey, let's go do this.
Hey, no, we're going to go to LA and we're going.
To go to. You're 70, Yeah.
Or hey, what? Let's, let's, let's go skiing
six days in a row, you know, from 8:00 AM to to 2:00 PM and
then we're in. Come back, take a quick break
and. Then we're going to ski around
shirtless and I'm going to be the one to lead the charge.
Because you need someone to get everyone out of the comfort
zone. Can I add one guy?
You need the rich guy. You need the guy whose parents
are loaded and they gave him the credit card.
And so he's like, yeah, I'll cover it.
You don't. Need it, but it's nice to.
I mean, let's be honest, there's a lot of reasons why certain
people were invited on certain trips.
It's not because he liked them. It was because because you knew
at the end of the day they were going to pick up the bill when
it came push to shove. You know, I would argue that
there's another Spring break character, or maybe just even a
character in a friend group, which is the Wanderer.
You know, that person that you just never really know where he
went. A.
Little Spacey. He's a little Spacey.
He just kind of went off. Where did he go?
Where did that guy go? Where's Drew?
Yeah. I so you guys said mountains.
I would 100% say beach every single time.
And the reason for that is because there's something about
the beat. Like I, I don't necessarily just
want to go on a trip just to go do something.
Like I would argue that when you go to the beach, you can have a
variety of different experiences.
You know, you have, you go to the beach, it's more versatile.
It's more versatile. You have, you have a great time.
You can kind of lounge around you hang out, you have a couple
beers. You get out in the water, you're
playing, you know, different beach games.
You're playing loud music. Then you fall asleep, you take a
nap. Then you go back to, you know,
the house that you're in or whatever.
You shower up, you go get a nice dinner.
Then you come back to the house, you can watch a movie.
You can. There is nothing better than
going out to dinner after showering and napping and your
skins a little tight from being sunburnt and being under the sun
all day. That meal is just always the
most absolutely glorious food that you can put in your body.
You feel, you feel like really good looking too.
Yeah, 'cause the the sea salt, the sea salts in your hair you
like. Do you like undo one of the like
an extra button that you would never undo back home?
The only socially acceptable place to have a a shirt that's
only halfway buttoned, yeah, is beach dinner.
I think, you know, in, in our in, in modern culture that, you
know, kind of idealizes the the spring break beach trip.
We just go out, you drink a ton, you have a good time, you know,
you're you're not really you're not really there.
You're just, you're just there honestly to to drink, you know,
and to just kind of escape for a little bit.
I think what a a spring break trip like that misses is the
opportunity for connection. And I would argue that when a
good spring break has one of two things, one connection with the
group that you're in. And so it's, it's really easy.
I mean, we're, we're talking about what makes for a good road
trip. You could still go on a road
trip and everyone be on the fence.
You can still go to the beach or go to the mountains, you know,
and, and not create a space for people to connect with one, one
another. If you're just going on a spring
break trip to, to to drink or to escape, you're not really, you
know, filling your cup. There's not really like a reset
that happens, You know, there's not like a refresher that
happens on the trip. The other thing that I would say
makes for a, a good trip is really an opportunity for, for
service. And the reason I say that is
because when you're with the mission trip experience that we
had in college was that, yeah, like you're, you're doing
something hard, but you're also doing something hard with a
group of people, you know, and it, and it creates a shared
experience of something that's difficult and you're and you're
pursuing some good together. So I want to, I want to tackle
that a little bit. Is that what is it?
What does it look like to find purpose, even, you know, in the
midst of of play, if you will, while you're having a good time?
Well, I think there's there's two ways.
One, you go on a trip that's inherently purposeful, like a
mission trip, like even even a trip like 11 spring break in
college, I went fly fishing with my dad and it was, you know, the
purpose was not to fly fish. The purpose was to spend quality
time together. It was our last spring break
before I got married. I just gotten engaged that year.
And so my dad and I and my brother were like, hey, let's do
kind of one last boys trip before JM gets married.
And so the purpose was not necessarily found in the type of
trip fly fishing. We had a great time, went out on
the river, had some beers, had some nice dinners.
But the purpose was inherently meaningful, which is that we're
here to celebrate this reality that our life is going to look
different after this. And I think about me and
Clayton. We went on a road trip one time
together right before he got married and right before I had
my first kid. And we went and did some fun
stuff. We went white water rafting,
went and hikes, mountains, went camping, the worst night of
camping of our lives, actually. But the purpose of the trip was
to spend time together for the last time before our lives
changed. And so the, the trip doesn't
have to be purposeful in its direction, but you can take a
trip that's fun and turn it into inherently meaningful.
Then there's the flip side, which is like the trip itself is
purposeful. Mission trip's a great example.
Or, or spending time. I know a lot of folks like to do
like a little retreat, for example, over spring break or
even adults, you know, take a, take a family trip where you're
taking time out of the, the craziness of life to go spend a
little dedicated retreat time as a family.
And so those are purposeful in in that the trip itself has
inherent goodness behind it. Yeah.
Yeah, I would agree. I think another, I think you
bring up an interesting point, John Michael, the reason that
you went on that trip with your dad and with your brothers
because you recognize that something in your life was
changing. And I think particularly for the
college student to recognize that frankly, your, your spring
break, your summer break, your winter break, you're not really
going to have times like that for the rest of your life.
Yeah, you're not going to have a month in December where you just
get to take entirely off. You're not going to have the the
three months over the summer that you have entirely off or
maybe you have an internship or something like that.
And and then spring break, you'll have an opportunity for
vacation. But your life is going to be
inherently different. And so the question is, how do
you make the best of that, of that opportunity while you
still, while you still have it? I think another thing here with,
with spring break is the idea of just carefree timelessness.
So we talked about how, you know, when we're on the, when we
went on this mission trip, John Michael, we, we didn't have our
phones. We took our, we took our watches
off. And it was just an opportunity
to say, I don't really know what's going to happen next.
I'm just kind of here for it. You know, something, something's
going to happen. I don't, I, I can't plan for,
for anything else. And so it's important to create
those opportunities and friendships where there's, you
know, you, you have some agenda on the trip, OK, we're going to
do this, we're going to do this, we're going to do this.
And then there's just a bunch of unplanned time where you just
get to be with one another, right?
Absolutely. What about?
What about the? Guy that's, he's going on a
trip, maybe it's spring break, maybe it's not, maybe it's just
like you're a young adult or, you know, you're, you're in your
30s and the boys are taking a, a golf trip, for example, where
you're kind of the only, maybe one of the only faithful guys on
the trip. So the trip is not like oriented
towards, you know, we're going to pray together, we're going to
go to Mass together, but you're, you're hanging out with these
guys for five or six days. What do you do in that scenario?
Because I feel like a lot of our listeners may be in that
situation where they want to go hang out with their friends on a
trip, but they're a little worried about if I go on that
trip, am I going to drink too much because everybody else is
doing that? Or am I still going to be able
to make time for prayer even though they're not fitting that
into our schedule? What would you tell that guy,
Jose? You know that that can be really
hard, right? Peer pressure is a real thing
that can be difficult to navigate.
I, I want to acknowledge that, but I want to start out
somewhere else, right? When, when you're going on a
trip and you feel like not everyone holds same values, the
most important thing is that you, you have to stick strong to
your own right. But you don't want to be the guy
that's overly pushy. These are still your friends.
You still love them and it's good to be with them, right?
And so you, you want to be the guy that's like, hey, I'd like,
I'm going to wake up in the morning and, and, and make some
time for prayer if anyone wants to join.
But that's it. I'm not, I'm not going to, you
know, later they'll be like, hey, Joe Michael slept in, huh?
Yeah, yeah. What's going on?
Right. So you you want to walk that
line. I don't know if right now and I
want to hear from y'all. I have something on how do you
navigate that peer pressure? But but I think you definitely
need to come in with a game plan of like, OK, this is I know the
general structure of the strip, right?
And I know maybe for the strip, right, This isn't fully how I
ordered my life. Maybe for the strip, I, I might
have to pick between going to daily master prank, right?
Or, or maybe it's a Monday through Friday trip and, and
we're in a remote location and mass is kind of hard to get to.
We only have one car and other people doing things.
OK, So hey, I'm going to focus on, on, on.
I want to make sure I pray 30 minutes in the morning and, and
you have to hold strong to now. So you have to come in with that
plan of when are you hitting those things?
But you also want to come in with a plan of, Hey, if if you
do struggle with peer pressure, right, if you know that your
friends on this trip are going to get absolutely blissed.
Yeah, you, you do have to come to the plan of like, OK, hey,
you know, yourself. Is it better to like, maybe you
just won't drink this trip? If, if that's a real temptation
or you come with a game plan of like, OK, I know I'm, I'm going
to limit myself to to three drinks no matter what.
Now that's a lot easier said than done.
Absolutely. That that's where I would start.
What do you think? I'm, I'm going to take a
different angle here and just say that, you know, I, I was
talking with a friend recently who just went on a bachelor
party with some college friends and this particular friend's
life looks a lot different now than it did in college.
I think that's probably a question some people have is
like, Hey, I have these friends that, you know, I used to live a
different life and now I've now I've changed, but now I'm going
on this, you know, this bachelor party and I'm still expected to
be the same guy that I was before, you know, but I've had
this conversion and now my, my priorities are different and the
way that I live is different. And I was talking to him about
how he, how he handled the, the bachelor party and he said it
was just, you know, I mean, guys were drinking, not really
connecting with one another. It was just kind of all about,
you know, the, the fun that could be had.
And so there was 1 evening where, you know, there was a
little fire pit in the backyard. And so he went and got some
firewood and he started a bonfire in the backyard.
And then when all the guys were kind of done with the, you know,
different drinking games, which, you know, he, he still
participated in, you know, but then he invited all the guys
over to the bonfire and they sat around and just, he just sat
down and asked his friend. He's like, hey, you know, you're
getting married next month. Like how, Like what, what are
you feeling right now? Like what's what's going on?
Like what, what are your, what are your thoughts?
Like what are you excited about? Like what are you, what are you
scared about? And just created that space for
other people to engage and connect with one another, which
is just him stepping up in, in leadership for sure, you know,
and taking, I think being afraid to see, OK, there's the, the,
when you're, when you're with a group of friends like that, the
good thing that's going to happen is that you guys are
going to be with each other and you have an opportunity for
connection. But sometimes that doesn't
happen. It's not prioritized on the
trip. So how can you step up and be
the leader yourself and say, how do I create a space for people
to actually engage in good, real conversation?
Yeah, there's a reality that you have to be the one to bring that
in, right? And it's not mutually exclusive
to to everything else we said, but it's definitely like, Hey,
you have had this amazing experience, this conversion.
And maybe what's happening is that now God's inviting you to
invite them into into deeper conversation.
And you you cannot shy away from that.
Do not do them and yourself that disservice from shying away from
bringing the group together into a deeper conversation.
Or maybe it starts with one-on-one, right?
Me and John Michael kind of get into it a little bit when we're
on our golf round. I specifically sit with him and
share a cart so I can, you know, ask about his life.
And then maybe at dinner, I sit next to Clayton to ask about his
life. And then at now you know, I
bring it to get you know, it kind of gather group and I'm
kind of pulling things from our conversations to try to help
them connect and and leave the conversation.
Elsewhere, that's it's great points.
I I think to add to everything that's been said, just the, the
don't underestimate the value of the example that you said on
that trip. So, and I love this topic
because I do think a lot of guys find themselves here and I think
the bachelor party is a great example.
That's kind of our life now is not as many spring break trips,
but a ton of bachelor parties. Yeah, I love Bachelor.
Parties so many. I have so many friends in
bachelor. Parties right it they're a
blast, but I think the example you said is is way more
important than you know, if you evangelize or if you talk about
God at the dinner table, it's the example of still go.
I think that's a mistake some guys make is they kind of take
the I'm better than you approach, like, oh, I'm not
going. Yeah, you never want to take
that there. There is, what's the word, like
a exception? Yeah, like absolutely, If you
know for a fact that this is going to cost you this sin.
Yes, step back, right? But outside of that yet, please
go. Please go and and it can be as
simple as like everyone's drinking and you're, you're
having some drinks with them. But after the second beer, after
the third beer, you know, if it's over the course of time,
after the 4th beer, you just take that example of like, hey,
I'm just going to take a break. You know, for the next couple
hours. You don't say that, but you do
it and you grab a Gatorade, you grab a water, and you just take
a break while everyone keeps going.
It could be as simple as taking time.
My my biggest thing is the mornings are crucial because
once the day gets rolling, it's really hard to take a step out.
But be the first guy up, be the first guy to serve.
That's a critical element. The guy that's cleaning up the.
Guy that's cleaning the. Hero of the Trip and.
No one wants to be the guy cleaning the dishes at the
bachelor party. I saw this short on YouTube the
other day and it was it was called guys on a guys on a trip
and it's like they show up and they open the fridge and it's
like a 12 count of eggs, 90 beers and then hot dogs.
That's the only thing in the fridge and they're like, hey, do
we have plates? Like, Oh, no, we didn't, we
didn't forget plates. Oh, silverware, someone got
silverware. Oh no, we didn't bring you
silverware. Oh great, we got we got hot dog
buns, right? Nope, no hot dog buns.
Great. We'll just go ahead and grill
the burgers or grill the hot dogs with our hands, and then
we'll eat them by putting them on our beer and just biting like
that. And I'm like, that's every guy's
trip ever. But being the guy to clean the
dishes, being the guy to get the coffee going in the morning
before everyone else is awake, being the guy to sleep on the
couch when everyone wants to be the first one to run in and
claim the beds in the Airbnb. It's those kind of service
elements that a lot of times speak louder to the character of
a Christian than the words of a Christian.
Absolutely. Yeah, I and funny enough, I,
Joe, Michael and I were laughing about a tweet that we read
earlier that was. Please, please bring that up.
What was it was I just went on a trip with 9 of my closest
friends and no, it was from the West perspectives like my
husband just went on a trip with none of his closest friends and
he came back. I was asking like how how are
the marriages? How are the kids?
How are like all their their friends lives, his friends lives
and and he's he said, I don't know.
And so I said, well, what did you talk about?
He said, well, we try to name every US capital and then we
started trying to name every African country, which is so
funny and so true. Spot on.
But you, you can't let it stop there.
Like, it is good to have that, yes.
But you definitely also need to push for the other side of the
coin of having those deeper conversations.
And again, doesn't have to be like, hey, everyone, gather
around. What's everyone thankful for?
Yeah, what's everyone struggling with?
Right. It can just be a short, you
know, Hey, like, like I said, I'm, I'm going to be intentional
about sitting next to this person at dinner or sharing a
cart with this person during our golf family today.
We're we are all in on meaningless conversations.
We are all in on meaningful conversations.
We're all in on road trips. We're all in on creating
lifelong memories, creating space for connection with one
another. So if you're on a road trip
right now or you're not on a road trip right now, make sure
to like, comment and subscribe. This is the All In podcast.