1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:04,840 Coming live from the HQ, this is the All In podcast. 2 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:08,440 I'm Clayton Caldwell. In 6th grade I had a friend ask 3 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:10,560 a girl out for me because I was too scared to do it. 4 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,000 Have you? Ever been in a conversation you 5 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:33,280 just didn't know what to say? Most of our it's just really 6 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:34,080 awkward. Yeah. 7 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:36,600 So, Michael, you're you're a great conversationalist. 8 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,440 Who, who would you say is, is one of the better 9 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,680 conversationalists that you've ever met? 10 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:45,920 So we'll go celeb shot, OK, And then we'll we'll just go back to 11 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,200 the table. So celeb shot here. 12 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:53,600 We, we pride ourselves on being, you know, Joe Rogan juniors. 13 00:00:55,080 --> 00:01:00,520 What I mean by that is not our political stances or our, you 14 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,200 know, skin care routines. Substance intake. 15 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,680 Substance Intake. Certainly we do not participate, 16 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:11,200 but his, his manner of having a conversation has in a lot of 17 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:14,000 ways revamped the art of conversation. 18 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:17,720 And what I mean by that is the problem with conversations 19 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:21,600 nowadays is, and, and we, what's funny is we're kind of 20 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:24,680 hypocritical in this scenario because what I was about to say 21 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,360 is that conversationalists are full of just people telling 22 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:31,080 stories back, back to each other, which is the extent of a 23 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:34,520 lot of our podcast. But I think what what he does so 24 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:38,800 well is he takes information and he has a spirit of curiosity 25 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,920 about him to where he just, he has this amazing ability like 26 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:45,800 let the other person go and then cut in at the right points and 27 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,200 then give that person a softball to keep going. 28 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,880 And he's he's, I mean, his best qualities probably is curiosity. 29 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,760 Like he is just a curious person about anything on the spectrum, 30 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:59,480 whether it's it's politics, whether it's technology, whether 31 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:02,000 it's MMA, whether it's rap or comedy. 32 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:06,440 He's so well versed in conversation that he just I 33 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:10,440 mean, he's he's re taught. I think this, this lost art in a 34 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:17,640 lot of ways in terms of people. Gosh, I frankly this and this is 35 00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:22,040 a little bit of a cop out, but I do have a seminarian friend 36 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:24,600 named Luke who's actually he's moving to Rome. 37 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,840 He's going to go study to be a Catholic priest in realm. 38 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:31,800 And, and he, what he's so good at is similar to Rogan in terms 39 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:33,560 of he's just a great question asker. 40 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,840 And, and so you're having a conversation and then you're 10 41 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:39,360 minutes in, I don't know if you guys have ever had someone like 42 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,840 this and you realize that you haven't asked a question back 43 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:43,840 because they've just done as such. 44 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,320 It's, it's some ways it's kind of frustrating sometimes because 45 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:47,560 you're like, I want to learn about you too. 46 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,560 But he's just so good at that being curious. 47 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,040 And he does this really well with my wife. 48 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:56,320 Like he as a seminarian, obviously he's not married, so 49 00:02:56,320 --> 00:03:00,720 he doesn't know a ton about, you know, a woman's role in terms of 50 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:03,280 the family. And he's just so curious into 51 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,240 her life to where he's asking great questions. 52 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:07,760 How does that, like, how does being at home make you feel? 53 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:09,880 What's your experience of being a homemaker? 54 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,520 So lot to gain from that. And I think, I mean, we were all 55 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,080 blessed. Like we were surrounded with 56 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,320 people and undergrad that I think taught us this skill. 57 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:19,760 Absolutely. Super well, and I think it's 58 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:22,840 helped us in our careers a lot because our careers are 59 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:25,400 basically just communication full time, either with our 60 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:29,480 thumbs or with our mouths. Oh, it is literally that's our 61 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:34,440 whole job is communicating full time and it's it's powerful. 62 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:38,440 And and my, my question and, and my wondering recently has been 63 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:42,440 where do we go wrong? Not us, but where do we go wrong 64 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:45,720 culturally to where you go on a college campus, You go to 65 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:49,080 workplace, you go to a dinner with Co workers and it is like 66 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,040 stale as a bag of chips that's been left open. 67 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:55,520 Yeah, yeah. It's brutal hearing people. 68 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:58,760 I mean, people don't talk to each other anymore, in person at 69 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,480 least. Where do we go wrong, fellas? 70 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:04,960 I think at least recently, like over the last 10, maybe 15 71 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:11,600 years, it it's my experience has been that people are scared to 72 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,040 disagree with each other. Yep. 73 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,480 Yeah. And so I think that in itself 74 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:18,800 kills a lot of curiosity or a lot of questions that maybe 75 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:23,080 would be asked because I don't want to disagree with you and I 76 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,280 don't want you to convince me right about something I 77 00:04:25,280 --> 00:04:26,000 disagree. With, right. 78 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,680 So I'm not going to inquire. Yeah, because that would get you 79 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:30,800 going on something. Yeah, I mean, that's been my 80 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,560 experience a lot with, you know, we, we have some friends that 81 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:37,440 maybe don't believe in the Catholic teachings. 82 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,880 Sure. And it's like they, they Just 83 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:46,600 Dance around anything relating to our lives because they, they 84 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:50,560 disagree with it and they're not willing to like, have a 85 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,320 conversation. Yeah, about it. 86 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:53,520 Because they ask. About it. 87 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:56,120 Yeah, even like, yeah, not knowing how to disagree with 88 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,320 someone and not turn into a conflict, right. 89 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,080 That I don't. That's my quick take. 90 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:02,480 I don't know if you have anything to add, Clayton. 91 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,440 Yeah, I don't know. I, I, you know, when you were 92 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,400 saying that, John Michael, my first thought was that just 93 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,600 people are generally uninteresting these days. 94 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:13,200 Yes. You know, I mean, you could you 95 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,800 could talk a lot about the invention of the iPhone and 96 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:22,080 YouTube and, you know, you know, YouTube Shorts and and TikTok 97 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:25,960 and just people not really, yeah, attention span, but then 98 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:30,240 also just like people not really having much to share about 99 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:31,400 themselves. I don't know, maybe that's a 100 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:35,920 really harsh judgment, but they haven't really thought out a lot 101 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,560 of things themselves and they don't really have things to 102 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:39,520 share. I think maybe one of the things 103 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:42,480 in my own experience kind of to what you were you were saying, 104 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:45,920 Jose, I think just things in our culture are generally just so 105 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,320 polarized these days. I was talking about this with, 106 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:54,320 with my wife recently and it's just like you say one thing and 107 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:57,440 you're immediately put into a certain group of people, a 108 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,760 certain camp of people. You've been branded, you've 109 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,680 been, you've been labeled. You know you must. 110 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,240 Be in that camp. You must think this, this, this, 111 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:06,640 and this as well. And I feel like, I mean, 112 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,080 personally, I've been in situations where I'm like either 113 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:11,520 afraid to ask certain questions. Or like. 114 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,160 Yeah, or just kind of dodge certain questions and it just, 115 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:17,080 it keeps the conversation shallow, you know. 116 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:19,080 But then if I'm in a conversation with people that I, 117 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:23,040 you know, could assume agree with me on things or think 118 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,360 similarly, it's easier to, to share my opinion. 119 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:28,280 That's my my own experience. And, and I think it in a way, 120 00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:33,120 it's kind of like, it's just this like spiral because you're 121 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:37,360 not wanting, whether it's out of laziness or out of fear, right? 122 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,680 You're not wanting to engage with people that might disagree 123 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:42,160 with you and you're only willing to engage with people that you 124 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,800 think agree with you. So now you just kind of put in 125 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:49,600 this echo chamber, you know, of like opinions that are like talk 126 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,920 about YouTube Shorts, TikTok, whatever Facebook calls their 127 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:57,560 their things. It's made, the algorithm is made 128 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:01,440 to get to know you in a way that you're only listening to things 129 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:05,000 that agree with you, Right. And so, yeah, we're just getting 130 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:09,040 so used to only being in echo chambers of our own opinions, of 131 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:12,160 our own likes that we just. Yeah. 132 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,680 I think that's, I mean, I think that's why podcasts have blown 133 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:16,200 up. Yeah. 134 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,240 I mean, do you remember when podcasts were cringy? 135 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:20,720 Yes. Like there was a time where, you 136 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,960 know what, 5-6, seven years ago where if you're like, I'm 137 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:26,720 starting a podcast, people are like, what the, Are you kidding 138 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,600 me? No one listens to those. 139 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:32,240 And now it's like every business, yeah, in the country 140 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:35,600 has podcasting built into their marketing budget because it's 141 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,840 what people are tuned into. It's what people are listening 142 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,800 to. And I think the reason is 143 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,200 because they're not having conversations in their life. 144 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,560 And so they want to be a part of a conversation. 145 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,680 And so you're driving to work and you're not going to have a 146 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,320 ton of conversations at work. You know, you're, you're tuned 147 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,840 into your, your computer, laptop, webcam, whatever. 148 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,880 And so you want on your way to work and on your way home from 149 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:59,560 work to be a part of a conversation to where like you, 150 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:04,680 you know, some podcasters better in terms of their life. 151 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,000 Did you do your own friends lives? 152 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:08,520 Yeah. And I think about that. 153 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:09,280 I'm like, I mean. It's so true. 154 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,280 Nick Bear is my my influencer crush. 155 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:13,840 Yeah. And I'm embarrassed. 156 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:18,560 Say I know way too much about this guy's life and embarrassing 157 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:19,840 about it. I'm like waking up in the line. 158 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:23,200 I wonder what he's eating right now, Wonder what time he's 159 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,440 getting up. Does he use dial or is he an 160 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:25,760 old? Spicy. 161 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:26,520 Is he up right now? Yeah. 162 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,440 But it's weird. Are we looking at the same moon? 163 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:32,960 Yeah, it's. Weird because you know, is it a 164 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:33,919 man crush? Maybe. 165 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:38,520 But it's weird that I know so much about someone that I've 166 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:41,679 never met in my life and probably will never meet. 167 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:43,240 Although I hope, I hope Nick one day. 168 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,240 Maybe if you're listening, we. Could share some miles together, 169 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:50,920 but I do think we know so much about people that we never know. 170 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:54,040 And I don't know necessarily if relationally we're supposed to 171 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:56,200 be built for that world. Yeah. 172 00:08:56,400 --> 00:09:01,000 So are, are you saying people are listening to podcasts where, 173 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,840 you know, there's three guys sitting at a table having a 174 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:06,040 conversation because they don't have conversations like that in 175 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:09,240 their life and it's like something and fill in a hole. 176 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,680 Yeah, fill in a hole. Maybe a part of something 177 00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:14,600 They're they're being vulnerable on a podcast. 178 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,400 And now I feel like I'm connecting with them. 179 00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,920 Yeah, like I'm hearing what they're saying and I'm like, oh, 180 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,280 that's I get you, dude. Yeah, yeah, I hear you. 181 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:25,040 Yeah, but maybe you don't feel safe or good or close enough to 182 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:28,640 people around to to be able to. Do do you think podcasts are 183 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:30,800 teaching people how to have conversations? 184 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,880 Like are people listening to podcasts and and thinking to 185 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:37,160 themselves how do I have conversations like that or. 186 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,760 I'd say some people are right. I I think it just depends on the 187 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:43,240 person, the natural curiosity or intentionality behind that, 188 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:46,160 yeah. I, I wonder if, I mean, there's 189 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,120 a good there. There's a good that they're 190 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:49,920 finding connection and we don't want to. 191 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:51,200 I mean, we, we hope people, yeah. 192 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,000 We hope people find. Connection with this too, and a 193 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,040 relatability. But I also think there's 194 00:09:57,040 --> 00:10:00,720 probably the flip end where if you're tuning in, tuning into a 195 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:05,080 podcast for a sense of relational connection, you're 196 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:06,880 not satisfying it in the way that's meant to be. 197 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:12,880 Which true conversation, person to person, face to face over a 198 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:16,120 coffee drink, whatever breeds that. 199 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:21,320 But you ever think about how women, they're like, their idea 200 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:26,120 of a good time is just sitting and talking, you know? 201 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:30,480 And for guys, we actually enjoy that, but we just don't say it. 202 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:33,600 So it's like, my wife's like, oh, I can't wait to go talk with 203 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:34,360 Katie. Yeah. 204 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,680 And I'm like, oh, I can't wait to go drink a beer with Drew. 205 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,280 Yeah. And it's like, I'm not, it's not 206 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:41,400 drinking a beer that I'm looking at, although I am. 207 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,520 Yeah. It's, I'm excited to connect 208 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,560 with Drew. But yeah, we, we always use the 209 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:47,920 euphemism of like, oh, we're going to have a drink. 210 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:49,640 Yeah. We're going to watch a game. 211 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,040 And it's like, we're not going to watch a game. 212 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:52,240 We're going to be together. Yeah. 213 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,360 And the game is just an excuse for us to actually have a 214 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:57,480 relationship with each other, you know? 215 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,800 Hey, what's going on guys? This is John Michael Lucido and 216 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:03,040 I am the main host of the All In. 217 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:06,160 Podcast brought to you by. Focus and I just want to take a 218 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:12,520 second to personally invite you to join us at SEEK 26, Seek 26, 219 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,800 January the 1st through January 5th. 220 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,960 We are going to be in three locations. 221 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:20,560 That's how big Seek has gotten. I'm going to be the mainstage MC 222 00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:23,080 hosting our conference in Columbus, OH. 223 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,440 Our other main host of the podcast, Jose and Clayton, will 224 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,160 be down in Fort Worth, Texas and then we'll have our third 225 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:32,360 location in Denver. Colorado, January the 1st. 226 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,200 Through January 5th you are not going to want to miss this. 227 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:37,960 The link to register is in the description. 228 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:41,440 Can't wait to see you guys. Let's go all in on C26. 229 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,720 So I think what we're talking about in the question that we're 230 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:47,880 trying to ask is like, how do you, how do you, we're not 231 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,160 necessarily looking at like, how do you have really deep 232 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:53,000 conversations with somebody? You know, and that's, that's an 233 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,560 element of, of conversations. And, and you're for sure going 234 00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:57,480 to go deep with some people and other people you aren't, you 235 00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:00,240 know, I think what the question that we're asking is like, how 236 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:02,480 do you have that middle ground? How do you do it between small 237 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:05,680 talk and, you know, a heart to heart conversation? 238 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:09,000 Yeah, 'cause at the same time on the other end, like it can be 239 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:12,080 exhausting if every conversation with someone is heart is like 240 00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,880 super deep and you. But it's also exhausting if 241 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:16,520 every conversation is just small talk. 242 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:19,400 Absolutely, there's got to be. I might be more exhausted by 243 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,440 small talk than I am deep conversations. 244 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:23,400 I think it depends for. Me, I love small talk. 245 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,360 Yeah, I I enjoy some real small talk. 246 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,880 A good small talk. What would you like? 247 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,600 What are small talk like the weather? 248 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,920 You know. Big weather Cowboys game No. 249 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:36,720 Just like, you know, like when you're talking to like a 50 or 250 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,160 60 year old man. Yeah. 251 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:42,360 And it's just this great, like small talk, banter back and 252 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:43,840 forth. You're not really getting 253 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:44,680 anywhere. Yeah. 254 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:47,960 But you're enjoying the fact that you're kind of mutually 255 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:50,040 pushing each other around a little bit. 256 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,120 That's what I enjoy. I would agree with that, just 257 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,520 like the the poking of each other a little bit. 258 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,720 Yeah, I guess, I guess that's fair. 259 00:12:56,720 --> 00:13:00,200 So if you're if you're trying to find that middle ground in a 260 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:04,520 conversation, well, like what would you say are some general, 261 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,280 I don't, I don't want to say, you know, techniques or tips, 262 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:11,000 but just like what does it take to actually engage, engage at 263 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,680 that level for someone that's maybe struggling to figure out? 264 00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:16,120 Like, how do I you know, I'm not just trying to like pour my 265 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,880 heart out to someone, you know, but I'm just trying to have a 266 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:21,840 genuine meaningful connection. I. 267 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:25,040 Wonder if, I mean, we've, we've experienced this from we were 268 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:28,880 all missionaries and and we were working on college campuses. 269 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,720 So like our full time job was meeting new people. 270 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:34,600 So I feel like we got really good at this and I wasn't, I 271 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:36,280 mean, some of us are probably better. 272 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:38,640 We have more natural ability than others. 273 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:42,960 But what I always leaned on was like, there's there's a couple 274 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:48,640 acronyms, but there's there's an idea of first of all, just in in 275 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:51,320 an invitation. So you start shallow, right? 276 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:53,840 Hey, where you from? And then from there, that's an 277 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,440 opportunity to build connection right away. 278 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:57,240 Where you from? Are you from San Antonio? 279 00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:59,040 Oh, no way. Tell me about that. 280 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:00,840 What San Antonio? You like the Spurs? 281 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:02,480 Yeah. Oh, you know, I went to Antonio 282 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,800 once, Yeah. For with my family and yeah. 283 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,120 San Antonio is great. We used to go for vacation. 284 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:08,720 Yeah. Did y'all take vacations growing 285 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:09,000 up? Yeah. 286 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:12,640 And so you're, you're starting at the level of shallow and then 287 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,200 you move into a shared experience. 288 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,480 Yep. So can you? 289 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,480 You always got to connect. You always have to find the 290 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:21,000 connection, and even in small talk there's opportunities for a 291 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:21,720 connection. Yeah. 292 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:24,840 Where are you from? Where'd you go to college? 293 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,680 What do you do for a living? Yeah, most people. 294 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:27,800 Oh, what do you do for a living? Engineer. 295 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:29,560 And it just stops there. Yeah, right. 296 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:31,280 But it's like, oh, what? Why are you? 297 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:32,400 Why are you an engineer? Yeah. 298 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,800 And then you move down to the level of values. 299 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:36,840 So you start showing, you move to valley. 300 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,040 So just like what? What's your values? 301 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,280 Yeah. With engineering. 302 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,600 So it could be simply as oh, why do you why do you enjoy that? 303 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:43,880 Yeah. You know what? 304 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:45,320 What made you want to be an engineer? 305 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:46,800 I like solving problems. Yeah. 306 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,840 Oh, really? What's what have you been 307 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:52,080 working on at work? And that right away moves to 308 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,600 meaning. So you go, you go entry level, 309 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,280 then you go values and you can move to meaning. 310 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,120 Oh, why do you, why do you find that meaningful? 311 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:00,400 What's meaningful to you about solving problems? 312 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:04,080 And then it's like right off the bat, you've established 313 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:05,480 connection. Now you've moved to values, now 314 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:08,280 you've moved to meaning, and then you move to the level of 315 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:10,840 beliefs. And this is not, this could be 316 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:13,320 something for evangelization when you're like sharing faith 317 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,560 with people, but it could also just be like. 318 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,240 Forming friendships. Forming friendships. 319 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,760 Like, oh, your your belief that solving problems is a good 320 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,440 thing. I agree. 321 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:26,680 I also like solving problems, like how to not make people go 322 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,480 to hell, you know? So I think there's there's those 323 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:32,320 tips and tricks that even for someone that's a little uncomfy, 324 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:36,360 can make it easier, but just takes practice too, you know? 325 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:41,960 Do you, do you think we've are people still genuinely curious 326 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,120 about other people or do they want to be curious? 327 00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:47,840 Do you think there's like a level of just like anxiety going 328 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:51,320 into conversations that blocks the ability to like, actually, 329 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,960 you know, I'm so caught up in like, how, you know, how are 330 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:55,640 people seeing me? What do people think about me 331 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,160 that it blocks kind of that ability to ask a good question 332 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:01,160 and to be genuinely curious about the person in front of you 333 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,440 without just like, thinking about yourself the whole time? 334 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:11,000 I mean, I think when people are insular in terms of their 335 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:15,720 lifestyle, yeah, that almost it it, it like breaks the very 336 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:18,880 foundation of the the thing I was just talking about is that 337 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:21,680 you have to have interest in someone to even get to that 338 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:27,120 meaning beliefs, values, to even to even open it up. 339 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,840 And so that's where I'm I'm struggling is like, how do you 340 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:34,160 give someone an interest that they may or may not have in the 341 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,240 other what? Do you think is that? 342 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:44,040 I think in my experience, a lot of times when, when meeting 343 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:48,320 someone for the first time, right, whether it's at work, at 344 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,280 a work event, right, where you meeting someone because you 345 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:53,840 generally want to get to know them, but you realize that they 346 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,960 don't want to get to know you. Yeah, usually you got to find. 347 00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,840 You just got to find enough connections. 348 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,840 Yeah. You know, with connections, 349 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,560 eventually someone's going to want to get to, you know, 350 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:05,480 someone's going to be a little curious. 351 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:07,720 I think connections spark curiosity, yeah. 352 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:11,560 But yeah, I, I think if both parties are not curious, then 353 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:12,760 yeah, it's not going to go anywhere, right. 354 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:16,680 And I don't, I don't know if I would say that people are less 355 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:18,760 curious. Actually, I would say that I 356 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,119 would say people are less curious. 357 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:25,680 But I think it's just driven from a place of what we were 358 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:28,119 talking about. Like with social media, I think 359 00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:31,440 it's just done so much damage to to younger people. 360 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:37,880 How do you see these ways in I need to like fully fledge out my 361 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:43,760 my thoughts here, but thinking of like Instagram, right. 362 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,880 We we all know that no one's lifestyle is perfect. 363 00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:49,360 Yeah, right. That it doesn't look exactly 364 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:50,960 like what you see on social media. 365 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:55,320 Yeah, but you were content with just seeing what's on social 366 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,600 media and that's OK. That's that's that's all I 367 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,480 needed to know. You know, it's like I, I don't 368 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:04,000 need to, you know, and I'm not saying this about me, but just 369 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,640 this is maybe what I encountered, like, oh, I don't 370 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:10,080 need to know about. They're hunting too Italy, which 371 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,040 is what my wife and I did. Like I could just see that they 372 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:13,160 posted some pictures and that's fine. 373 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:14,240 Yeah. That's all I need to know. 374 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:17,280 Yeah, I'm fine with that. The curiosity's been quenched. 375 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,960 By Yeah, it's like enough of that has been quenched with like 376 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:23,640 a little tease on social media and I don't really want to ask 377 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,560 questions. I was, I was on an airplane last 378 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,240 week. So we all, we all travelled 379 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,200 decent bit for work and life and stuff. 380 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:35,200 And airplanes are like the best place to people watch. 381 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:39,160 And if you want a microcosm of the world, get on an airplane. 382 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:42,080 It's amazing. And the other thing about 383 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,840 airplanes are you, you're never with that group of people in 384 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,320 your life. When else would you be with a 385 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:53,000 cross section of America in a small enclosed space for three 386 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:58,080 hours with no Wi-Fi depending on what air airline you fly where 387 00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,920 you actually are forced to connect with people and and most 388 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:02,680 people don't connect with people. 389 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:07,200 But I sit on an airplane last week and my my Co worker was 390 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:12,080 behind me and she is very devout and to her faith. 391 00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:18,200 And right next to her was seated a a gal who covered in tattoos. 392 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,760 My Co worker is about as clean cut as it gets. 393 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,240 Yeah only wears one pair of earrings. 394 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:27,680 You know, would think the idea of double piercings is 395 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:31,960 idolatrous. And this woman covered in 396 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:36,160 tattoos, head to toe, very interesting haircut, very 397 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:40,480 interesting method of dress. And you look at these two people 398 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,400 and you're like, they have nothing in common. 399 00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:46,720 You have a clean cut, you know, deeply religious individual. 400 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:51,360 And, you know, forgive me if I'm guessing covered in tattoos with 401 00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:53,520 interesting clothes. You know, I, I, I'm going to be 402 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,360 honest, I judged her a little bit and I'm sitting right in 403 00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:58,400 front of them. It's a four and a half hour 404 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,680 flight from Florida all the way West to Denver. 405 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:06,240 And they talked for three hours about the best question that our 406 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:08,240 colleague asked was so tell me about your tattoos. 407 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,000 Like that was like one of the first questions. 408 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:16,240 And that launched into a values beliefs conversation that was 409 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,760 amazing because it's like, oh, this tattoo was. 410 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:22,120 This tattoo was like my, my grandmother who passed away from 411 00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:24,120 breast cancer. And this tattoo is for a 412 00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:26,240 brother. And this is from when I studied 413 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,080 abroad in Thailand. And this is when I was teaching, 414 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,800 teaching for she did TFA in Philly. 415 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,160 And so it's right away like boom. 416 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:34,800 Oh, tell me about your, your grandmother passed away. 417 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,360 Oh my gosh, like tell me about that. 418 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,520 And that launched into values and that launched into beliefs. 419 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:42,160 It's amazing. It was beautiful, yeah, but it's 420 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,440 like 2 people, nothing in common, probably would have 421 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:47,200 never met. Yeah, anywhere, but they're 422 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,720 seated right there at United flight. 423 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:53,120 I have a hot. Take about travelling when I'm 424 00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:54,160 on an airplane. Are you? 425 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,480 Are you in Airpods only? I don't want to talk to you. 426 00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,840 I don't. Now, I'm not going to be rude 427 00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:02,040 about like, if someone talks to me, I'll talk and sure, I'll 428 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:03,200 enjoy a conversation. Yeah. 429 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:07,720 But airplanes are like the one place where I'm like, I don't 430 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,120 want to get. To know for me it's the neck, 431 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,040 the neck, the neck what? Do you mean? 432 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:13,960 Say that again. It's so hard to have a 433 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,920 conversation with someone on an airplane because you have to go, 434 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:22,600 like, for three hours and you land and you're like, forcing 435 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,920 your head back to the front or you're looking straight ahead 436 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:27,080 trying to talk. And they're like, what'd you 437 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,040 say? Yeah, that's the awkward. 438 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:34,320 Part I I think mine comes from what my wife calls my useless 439 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:39,680 superpower, which is I can fall asleep before the plane takes 440 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:42,720 off and wake up when it lands. You can sleep on planes. 441 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,920 Oh yeah, the whole the whole way it freaks. 442 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,360 Me out. I mean, I I just fall asleep 443 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,200 very easily. I could sleep anywhere. 444 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:51,840 If we put you on the clock right now, I. 445 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:56,720 Could probably be asleep in the next three. 446 00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:59,240 No, I mean, right now we're talking, right? 447 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:02,000 I'm stimulated. But yeah, I mean, if you guys 448 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,720 leave the room, turn off the lights, I could be asleep in 10 449 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,480 minutes. In your chair. 450 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,360 Maybe not this chair, but like, yeah, in general. 451 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:12,480 And so on an airplane, it's like, that's just what I what I 452 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:14,560 that's like the place where I take naps. 453 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:15,920 Yeah. I you. 454 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:19,280 Know and I'm not a big. Napper, I cannot sleep knowing 455 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:23,440 that there is a person touching my thigh with their thigh that I 456 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:26,640 have never met before. Have you ever thought about 457 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:28,800 that? Yeah, I am in my most vulnerable 458 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,760 position. Which is why it is part of the 459 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:34,600 reason why I always wear pants on airplanes, because I don't 460 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,320 want to. Feel their legs. 461 00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:38,920 I just can't do it. It's weird. 462 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:40,720 No, I love it. I always get the window seats I 463 00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:43,720 can lean against the wall. You know, going back to that 464 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,920 tattoo question, Yep, I think a lot of people would be scared to 465 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:48,240 ask that question. Totally. 466 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:50,720 Yeah. Someone that's clean cut doesn't 467 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,040 have any tattoos. Someone has a lot of tattoos. 468 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:57,040 I just feel like it's kind of, you know, I mean, personally, I 469 00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:58,880 would kind of be scared to ask that question. 470 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,400 I wouldn't be scared because then they would have to ask us. 471 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,880 Clayton, do you have any tattoos? 472 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,760 Do you have a singular? 1A Singular 1. 473 00:23:09,120 --> 00:23:15,680 We we have matching tattoos. My for the for the listeners, 474 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:20,280 I'll just share that my my 4 year old son asked me why I have 475 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:24,680 the Aggies on my butt and. These have matching bumper 476 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:28,080 stickers, right? That would be an accurate 477 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:31,520 statement, yes. Now let's just say that tattoo 478 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:37,040 was what, gosh, nine years ago, No. 8 Probably. 479 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:41,520 Yeah, and Texas looks a lot more like California eight years 480 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:46,760 later than it's supposed to. It looked really good. 481 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:50,080 And now I don't know if it's Illinois or Texas because of 482 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:53,080 aging. Yeah, well. 483 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,320 I don't know if I would ever ask someone on a plane, hey, do you 484 00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:59,320 have any butt tattoos? But if they if they were visible 485 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:01,120 and I don't know if I would lead a conversation with, hey, did 486 00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:05,240 you know I have a butt tattoo? It's the best practice. 487 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:07,640 But I think a lot of people would be, would be scared to ask 488 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:10,880 that question. I think also, you know, we are 489 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:14,120 missionaries, we're evangelists, you know, we're, we're trained 490 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:18,680 to share the gospel, share the good news of Jesus Christ, to 491 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:21,840 invite other people into a relationship with Jesus. 492 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:25,000 And there's there's an art to that, you know, and for, you 493 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:28,040 know, a new missionary or someone who's, you know, really 494 00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,720 into their faith and asking the question, how do I share the how 495 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:33,280 do I share this? You know, I think what we're 496 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,520 trying to say here is that you're not just going to start 497 00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,440 with, you know, you never start a conversation with what do I 498 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:39,840 want to talk about? Oh yeah. 499 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,760 You know, what do I want to talk about and how do I do I? 500 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:43,920 Shuts. It shuts them down. 501 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:45,840 It's just a conversation down, you know, and like you were 502 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:50,320 saying that that tattoo question opened up a world of, you know, 503 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:52,680 a conversation of values and beliefs. 504 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:56,160 And and it's great that it got there, but it's OK if it does. 505 00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:56,880 It's OK if it. Doesn't. 506 00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:58,600 Yeah, and she could have shut it down. 507 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:03,080 Like, what a weird question no one has ever ask me why I'm 508 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,040 totally ink dreamed up. Yeah. 509 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,560 What's your what? If you had to get a tattoo right 510 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:14,240 now, what would you get? I've struggled with this. 511 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,440 Little baby feet. Little baby feet on the forearm. 512 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:20,760 I think for a while there was a point in my life where maybe 513 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:25,080 high school and full angst that I couldn't wait to go to 514 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,720 college. I could get tattoos and I wanted 515 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:32,120 to kind of have not a not a sleeve, yeah, but a good amount, 516 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:35,920 you know. But then I got to college and I 517 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:39,760 was like, finally I could do it. And then I could never think of 518 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:41,600 what I wanted. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 519 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,200 Well, I think that's how people get started is they get a 520 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:45,440 purposeless one. Yeah. 521 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:47,840 And then from there. Yeah, I got a cousin with a 522 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:49,680 tattoo of a pizza on her forearm. 523 00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,440 Yeah. And it's like, you know, you can 524 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:55,760 only go up from there in terms of meeting, you know, I. 525 00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,360 This pizza saved my life. Do you think people are getting 526 00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:02,360 more tattoos? Probably less if you don't. 527 00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:04,880 I guess you don't. See many 60 year olds with 528 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:08,560 sleeves. Sure, but you also don't see 529 00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:10,280 that many 20 year olds with sleeves anymore. 530 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:12,040 I think more people are getting tattoos. 531 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,560 I think this is similar to some of the things I've I've seen 532 00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:16,920 recently of Gen. Z. 533 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,880 Like, you know, I don't know if our generation, the generation 534 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:22,320 had before us whatever you or right after. 535 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:23,600 Us, we're like right on the line, yeah. 536 00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:27,720 We go either way of how they drink less. 537 00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:29,960 Yeah. I think it's kind of tied into 538 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,760 that of like. They're just doing less stuff in 539 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:34,960 general. No, it's just they're saying, I 540 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,600 think there may be more, which I wouldn't say tattoos are 541 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:40,440 unhealthy. So I don't want to group it into 542 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:40,960 that. Yeah. 543 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,200 But I think a lot of like Gen. Z sees alcohol is like 544 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,440 unhealthy, Like, why would I want to do that, right? 545 00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,360 It causes inflammation. It causes this causes that. 546 00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:50,040 It's extra calories. You don't want to drink your 547 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,120 calories. And I think part of that is 548 00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:53,600 like, they're a little more cleaner cut. 549 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,520 Yeah. You never thought about going 550 00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:57,320 sober I. Mean. 551 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:01,680 Like no. Alcohol, I wouldn't say I'm not 552 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:03,680 sober. You know what I mean? 553 00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:04,080 Yeah. Yeah. 554 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,840 Sober in the sense of I'm cutting it out. 555 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:08,280 I haven't fully thought about it. 556 00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:12,800 I don't know about you all. I mean, right now I drink like 557 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,680 if I'm not an event, maybe the one beer a week. 558 00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:17,720 Yeah. So it's not to me. 559 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:19,760 It's like it doesn't make a difference, you know? 560 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:23,800 Now at an event, yeah, I'll have more drinks at a party or 561 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:28,880 hosting people, whatever it is. Yeah, but just like never really 562 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:30,680 thought about it. Too much, I know, you've 563 00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:32,360 thought. About it, maybe. 564 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,120 I've only thought about it on the sober thing. 565 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:37,160 Yeah, like the health benefits. Yeah, yeah, because woop woop. 566 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,680 Tracks your alcohol intake. Yeah, and how it affects your 567 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:41,520 sleep. And bourbon. 568 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:43,640 The brown dirty water. Yeah. 569 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,560 Kills my sleep. It's bourbon and red wine. 570 00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,120 Really. Those are the two that just like 571 00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:51,240 Jack up my sleep, I. Always heard it's blended. 572 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:52,800 Blended wine. Really. 573 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,360 Yeah, I remember I. Was because it's not. 574 00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:58,960 It's not like. Pure I, I, I don't know why, I 575 00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:01,440 just feel like I, I particularly remember I went to a buddy's 576 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,680 wedding and I had two glasses of blended wine. 577 00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:07,480 I woke up hungover and I had, I had my, my brother-in-law and a 578 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:08,560 couple of friends were the same way. 579 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,480 And we all, we kind of was. It a red? 580 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:11,880 Was it a blended it? Was a blended. 581 00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:12,800 It was a blended red. Wine. 582 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:16,200 Yeah, yeah, I've heard it has to do with the sugars in wine. 583 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:17,680 Maybe. It depends. 584 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:18,640 Probably. What you what type of? 585 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:19,760 Wine I'm drinking? Who knows? 586 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:23,680 I'm drinking Costco, you know, $1212.00 bottles, which probably 587 00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:24,400 doesn't help. Yeah. 588 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:28,560 What are you all's? You're in a conversation, you're 589 00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:31,520 at a happy hour, you're at a a cocktail event. 590 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,320 What are you ordering at a networking event? 591 00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:42,960 I mean I could I probably in a network Michelob ultra skinny 592 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:44,160 Cam. For a skinny man. 593 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:46,040 You're of athletes. Oh yeah, you're of. 594 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:49,160 Athletes exactly I I feel like I mean at a networking my my 595 00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:52,200 favorite drink is Manhattan. Yeah, but you can't. 596 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,000 Order that at networking. Exactly. 597 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:55,240 The bartender gets mad. Exactly. 598 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:57,520 I feel like I would just probably do a light, a light 599 00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:58,800 beer. Yeah, you know. 600 00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:02,200 Yeah, probably same. A light beer or if I see a lot 601 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:05,240 of people have liquor, I'll do. I like tequila. 602 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:06,520 Soda with lime. Oh. 603 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:07,880 Yeah, keeps. It light. 604 00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:09,120 Keeps it light. Yeah. 605 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:12,000 You don't feel bloated. You don't have all this sugar 606 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,520 from tonic. I'm sure you have the sugar and 607 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:16,160 tequila, right? Sure, but that's good. 608 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:19,880 Soda is better than tonic. I mean, Cliff soda is a 609 00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:23,600 carbonated water. Yeah, tonic is like actual soda. 610 00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:25,720 OK, here's a here's a networking question. 611 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:26,240 Yeah. I love. 612 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,640 Now this is this is kind of where I struggle. 613 00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:29,800 Yeah. And I would love to get you 614 00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:31,480 all's opinions on this. John Michael, actually think you 615 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:33,000 do this really well. So I'm excited to hear what you 616 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,480 have to say, Jose. I'm sure you do it well, too. 617 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:37,000 I've seen. But John Michael, I think is 618 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:40,320 kind of notorious for this. But no, no, no. 619 00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:43,480 At a networking event, you know, you you grab the beer, you go 620 00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:44,560 and stand in the group. Yeah. 621 00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,920 And then it's like, how do you accept the conversation? 622 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,760 Well, John, Michael's notorious of this because you, you you're 623 00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:52,040 turning and I'm talking to Jose like this. 624 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:53,400 And I turn back around. John Michael's just gone. 625 00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,600 That's why I'm doing that. Irish was how. 626 00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:00,280 Do you, I think that's personally something that I 627 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:02,680 struggle with is like, how do you, you know when a 628 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:06,000 conversation is over, how do you exit, exit the conversation 629 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,760 appropriately? Well, networking events are the 630 00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:12,360 worst for that because you don't want to talk like 4 to 5 minutes 631 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:14,680 is like you're topping out. Yeah. 632 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:18,080 Like, you've covered plenty of ground, and it's not necessarily 633 00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:20,640 the the world in which you're you're going into a deep 634 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:22,600 conversation. It's like a wedding reception's 635 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:23,360 a great example. Yeah. 636 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:27,040 Like, your wedding reception was incredible. 637 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:30,440 Louisiana weddings, if you guys have never been to one, are so 638 00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:31,760 great. So fun. 639 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:33,720 'Cause there's no, there's no sit down dinner. 640 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:34,920 Yeah. And so you. 641 00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:37,400 Just usually there's a band. There's a live band instead of a 642 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:38,920 DJ. There's Jose's brother-in-law 643 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:43,560 dancing with the broom on stage. I still don't what is the story. 644 00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:46,080 There I think from my understanding that. 645 00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:46,920 Was the highlight of the. Wedding. 646 00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:48,120 Yeah. So my wife's from Thibodeau, 647 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:51,840 Louisiana. Bayou, a small town right on the 648 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:52,960 Bayou. Bayou Lafourche. 649 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:54,600 Yeah. How how would you guys spell 650 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:55,840 that? Bayou. 651 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,240 Yeah, LEFU. Starts with FU. 652 00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:02,080 Let's see. PHEUGE. 653 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:04,760 OK, so what's your OK? What'd you say? 654 00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:05,440 Pepe le Pew? Yeah. 655 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:07,600 Bayou Lafourche. Baca de Beppo. 656 00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:10,600 How? How would you spell Lafourche 657 00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:13,680 Lafourche? LE Apostrophe. 658 00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:21,640 FU EGE. I I'm I want to come out clean 659 00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:25,320 and say that I might also be pronouncing it wrong here, but 660 00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:27,760 what what are your thoughts? Say it again. 661 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,280 Bayou Lafourche. Bayou. 662 00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:31,720 Yeah, don't, don't worry about Bayou. 663 00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:41,600 Bayou Lafourche. It's actually LAFOURCHE 664 00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:45,720 Lafourche, which we could. We could have a whole episode 665 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:50,240 talking about Louisiana weddings or Louisiana words that are just 666 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:51,480 spelled. There's an R. 667 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,000 Yeah, there's a hidden R in there, silent R, if you will, R, 668 00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:59,000 which is common in Louisiana. All that to say, my wife's from 669 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,480 Thibodaux, Louisiana and. Is there an R in Thibodaux? 670 00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:04,880 No. But it's also spelled kind of 671 00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:05,360 funny. Yeah. 672 00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:08,800 And, and I think, and I don't know if it's a typical thing of 673 00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,560 this, just like her family, because I know her cousins did 674 00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,920 it too. But for whatever reason, if the 675 00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:19,680 younger sibling, especially the sister, gets married before the 676 00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:23,400 older brother, the older brother then has to dance with a broom 677 00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:24,640 at the reception. Really. 678 00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:26,960 Yeah, which my my brother-in-law killed it. 679 00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:28,120 Oh, he. He didn't. 680 00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:30,040 I didn't pick up on that. I just thought he was being 681 00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:31,560 dumb. No, no, no, he, he totally 682 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:32,680 killed. I mean, they're not going to 683 00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:33,480 announce that. Yeah. 684 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:34,840 You know, like, hey, there's actually he's. 685 00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:35,960 Unmarried. Yeah. 686 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,040 Any women in the room? Anyone. 687 00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:40,720 Which he is engaged, you know. Oh, really? 688 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:41,560 Yeah. Jean Paul. 689 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:45,600 That's right, Jean Paul. But he did a great job, I think 690 00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:47,920 because you can easily go into that just being like kind of 691 00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:49,520 either pissed off or a little embarrassed. 692 00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:52,080 He like fully bought in made it really fun and. 693 00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:54,680 Well, liquid courage. Helped some great pictures from 694 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,160 that moment. But you you were saying about 695 00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:00,320 wedding receptions. Oh, it's just, I mean, wedding 696 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:02,240 receptions are the ultimate awkward exit. 697 00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:03,960 Yeah. Especially if you know a lot of 698 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,040 people at the wedding because you don't want to spend too much 699 00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:08,200 time with one person because you got 50 other friends you're 700 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:12,280 trying to catch up with. We were talking off air about 701 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:16,280 how to exit conversations and Jose, you said the funniest 702 00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:18,680 line. Well, I, I mean, cuz you're 703 00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:23,360 talking we, we were just talking about how you like to just Irish 704 00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:26,080 goodbye. For sure just go my. 705 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,040 Go to and I wouldn't say this is something I'm known for. 706 00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:31,240 I wouldn't say I'm great at this, but my go to is either 707 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:33,840 hey, it it was great catching up. 708 00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:35,960 I'm going to go get another drink or hey, it was great 709 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,240 catching up. Loved seeing you, you are great 710 00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:40,280 getting to know you. I need to go to the bathroom 711 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:42,240 right? Smart the little boys room. 712 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,920 Now which what the mistake I've made plenty of times is, hey, 713 00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:46,640 I'm going to the bar, you need another. 714 00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,840 Yeah, you got to be careful. Because I've done that and now 715 00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:52,560 you're back in the conversation and you can't bring him another 716 00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:54,720 MC Ultra and then be like, hey, I'm out. 717 00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:55,280 Yeah. Yeah. 718 00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:58,920 You're locked in until he's half a beer in at that point. 719 00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:02,000 Yeah. So yeah, you can't offer sadly 720 00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:03,480 at these events. We're trying to get through a 721 00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:05,920 little conversations. It might be a little rude, but 722 00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:08,120 you got to keep keep your drinks to yourself. 723 00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:12,800 What I what I always say is, is if I don't just leave, is hey, 724 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:14,120 really enjoy talking. I'm I'm gonna try. 725 00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:15,480 I got a buddy I'm trying to connect with. 726 00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:17,320 I'm gonna go. I'm which that's fine too. 727 00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:19,679 People understand that. Yeah. 728 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:21,400 So what, what would you guys say? 729 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,560 I'd love to hear from from everybody at the table here. 730 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:28,679 You got a guy and he's just wondering how do I, how do I go 731 00:34:28,679 --> 00:34:31,639 a little bit deeper in my conversations with people? 732 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,320 This probably isn't you know, you're not talking about your 733 00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:36,719 your buddies. You know, we're hopefully, you 734 00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:38,239 know, you're having small talk, having fun. 735 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:41,000 You're also asking deep questions, but you're sitting 736 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,840 next to a guy in class. You know where your Co worker 737 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:45,760 sitting next to you or you're on an airplane. 738 00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:49,120 If you could just say, you know, what are what are one or two 739 00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:53,239 things to think about of how to engage better in conversation? 740 00:34:53,239 --> 00:35:00,800 What do you think you'd? Say Husby, I would say I mean we 741 00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:03,760 we've been saying this all episode, right of you got to be 742 00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:06,480 curious. You got to genuinely want to 743 00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:08,960 know lead with questions about the lead with questions, but 744 00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:10,960 actually like pay attention. Open-ended questions. 745 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:13,200 And and don't be afraid to make a connection, right? 746 00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:16,200 Don't be the guy that's making connection every other sentence 747 00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:17,920 they make. But don't be afraid to make a 748 00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:21,720 connection, as silly as it may be, you know, Oh, you're, you're 749 00:35:21,720 --> 00:35:25,000 from, you went to text A&M. You know, I always hated Anna. 750 00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:29,640 Obviously you're not saying that with like anger, but you're 751 00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:31,560 saying like, oh, you know, I always made fun of Eminem, my 752 00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:34,480 dad and I did like, I don't be afraid of making a connection 753 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:37,080 like that, you know, Cuz I think as long as you've been curious 754 00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:40,240 and you're still making that connection and continue to go, 755 00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:43,600 cuz, you know, if someone told me, I'd be like, tell me more 756 00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:45,520 like what, why did you guys dislike it so much? 757 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:46,680 You know, what did we ever do to you? 758 00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:48,840 Right. You know, and then it could just 759 00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:50,760 get kind of funny and you can start making more connections 760 00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:53,960 there. Yeah, I would say don't be 761 00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,640 afraid to to swing someone else in the combo. 762 00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:59,160 Yeah, that's like my favorite thing to do when things are 763 00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:01,120 getting a little stale is just say, hey, Clayton, come over 764 00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:01,960 here. I want you to meet. 765 00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:03,440 I want you to meet a new friend of mine, Josh. 766 00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:05,080 Yeah, that's typically where you dip. 767 00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:06,720 Yeah, it's, it's perfectly where you. 768 00:36:06,720 --> 00:36:10,080 Dip, I call it the hand off. You just hand them off and you 769 00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:13,160 go, yeah, but like when you there's something about so 770 00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:16,000 there's there's kind of rules of numbers when it comes to combos. 771 00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:17,800 It's like 6 or more. It's awkward. 772 00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,200 Six people in a group. Yeah, 6 people in a group it's. 773 00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:24,320 Six or more, yeah. Now it's individual like it's 774 00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:25,600 smaller groups it breaks off into. 775 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:28,320 Smaller groups, you can't have one conversation with like 7 776 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:30,480 people at 7. You have to splinter. 777 00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:33,320 So it's like 3 and 4, two and five. 778 00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:37,280 But 1/3 or 1/4, it kind of breeds life into a combo. 779 00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,120 It's like, hey, you know, Clayton, come over here. 780 00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:42,000 I want you to I want you to talk to this guy Clayton you he's 781 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,600 actually from Dallas. You're from Dallas. 782 00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:47,240 Like I want you. I want you all to meet the next 783 00:36:47,240 --> 00:36:49,160 thing you know, you got new life in the conversation. 784 00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:53,600 And now a three-way combo is I mean, this podcast is like if it 785 00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:55,880 was just me and you, Jose, it would be different. 786 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,520 Pretty stale, pretty quick because we'd be going back and 787 00:36:58,520 --> 00:36:59,560 forth. You need me? 788 00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:04,560 More than ever, Clayton, I need you. 789 00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:10,080 No, but like having 3 makes it to where he's I mean, he just 790 00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:11,280 did it right. He's like, hey, what do y'all 791 00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,200 think? And now all of a sudden we have 792 00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,400 multiple people answering a question and it's just so much 793 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:17,680 more natural. Yeah, so. 794 00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:20,480 Yeah, I think you're right. I think what we're trying to say 795 00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:24,440 is, you know, take your own eyeballs off yourself, you know, 796 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:28,280 and look at someone else and engage, engage other people in 797 00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:32,720 conversation as well. So this is the All In podcast. 798 00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:34,880 We're going to cut this because I got to go grab a drink. 799 00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:39,400 Thanks y'all. Don't forget to like subscribe. 800 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:42,840 Comment Click the bell. And Irish goodbye, Irish 801 00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:43,200 goodbye.