All right. Oh, man, I really appreciate you
doing this. I know you're a very busy man
these days with the family and work and.
All of the above and a lot more, but you know when you have.
Relationships that you care about, you know you go out of
your way to continue to foster them and support.
I appreciate it, man. You've always, you know, I
always say like especially with some of my business partners, I
talk about all the time, like some some of my athletes have
been. Very difficult to work with and
you well, number one, you were probably one of the first guys I
ever worked with you and TJ. We were the first like.
Probably the 1st. Actually like.
Yeah, outside of of college, right.
And I and I really wanted to start with that because like.
I don't know how good your memory is mine.
Mine is a little Milky. I'll be honest, in those days,
those days were wild for. For many reasons.
Yeah, exactly, exactly. But I I want to touch on it a
little bit just because I feel like guys don't do what we used
to do, like and so to take y'all back a little bit, they can.
Aiken came down to Miami from, well, hold on, let let you start
out a little bit because I want people to understand your
background, give it a little bit about Purdue, a little bit
about, you know, your football career a little bit and then
like and then kind of meet me in Miami, you know that.
Kind of thing, yeah. So I was fortunate in 2002 to
get drafted by the Jacksonville Jaguars in the third round.
I played played college ball at Purdue University.
Three years there. From Texas, I mean, countries
can be not country, country, not country bunking, but you know,
Irving, TX, 15 minutes from Dallas.
But really, the way I grew up was very sheltered in that
sense, just knowing just everything about Texas and
Dallas proper. But I chose to go to the further
school the way that gave me an opportunity, right, A
scholarship. And it happened to be a great
academic school, not thinking. OK, football was a way to get a
degree and just not have the pressure of trying to get into
college and paying for it and loans and all of that.
So football was really a means for me all the the entire time,
was just to get an education, get a degree.
Because I I just said to myself, if I could just get a good
education, get a degree, I could get a good job somewhere.
And that way I could all your. Mindset was not on the NFL.
No, no, it was not one time. Even Even the times in college
where I was having great success and getting a lot of accolades,
I still was thinking, man, graduate and and just going to
the workforce, right and all because I knew back home I had a
mother who grew up and raised. Four of us by herself.
And I just wanted to take care of them.
I wanted Mom, you know, to not have to work as hard.
I want my siblings to have a better start than I did.
And I'm noticed before. So naturally, just I felt like
that was my responsibility, not anybody else's, but my own.
And so I go to Purdue University, happen to, you know,
be on the team. With a guy that you might know,
Drew Brees you know maybe a future Hall of Famer and we're
on the squad together. We win the Big 10.
We beat all the the powerhouses. The Michigan's, Ohio State's
Wisconsin's you know played against Tom Brady the GOAT, you
know, got to beat him. You know Mr. Drop the
interception you know we got to sack him and all that.
So had a phenomenal or phenomenal collegiate career.
Was fortunate to then get drafted into the NFL and quick
story now and I'll meet you at our junction.
My rookie year, our mutual friend TJ Slaughter who who you
grew up with and know as well. He was one of one my I would say
my Kendrick spirit where automatically we connected.
You know TJ the the way he thinks his approach, his hard
nose approach to playing the game.
I just loved, right? I just loved and I was a guy who
was still learning because I didn't start playing football
until I got to high school. So I really wanted people around
me and being a professional, he's my vet.
So naturally we connected and my rookie year, the first game
going to my rookie year, my linebackers coach came to me and
said, listen, first game was against Peyton Manning,
Indianapolis coach said rookie expect to play a little and you
know we'll get you in there where we can.
So Long story short. The game goes by, I got maybe
all of three plays. I played a lot of special teams,
but got all of three plays after the game, he said, you know, my
fault, we should have played you more.
You know, we'll see what we can do for the next game.
Next game comes around singing national anthem, You know, F-150
fighter jets fly over American flag.
Singing national anthem. You know, I'm still like pumped.
I'm the NFL. I'm in the NFLI made the 53 man
roster. That goes over and next thing
you know, Tom Coughlin slaps me on my ass, says Rookie.
Get in the game. You're starting.
So I go from not barely playing to all of a sudden being an NFL
starter and had a phenomenal rookie year.
So that offseason comes around. No, actually will I, you know,
go through one coach cycle with Tom Coughlin getting fired and
then Jack de Rio comes in, Jack de Rio takes over.
Completely advanced, revamps our whole defense.
Playing a new system was successful under Jack Del Rio.
Had a had another good successful sophomore or you know
next season. And then that offseason TJ and I
were on the same team all season.
I was in LA with my cousin and thinking, you know, I would
spend the offseason, someone else season there.
I get a call from TJ Slaughter. Like, listen, I'm going to Miami
for a weekend. You should come join me.
And he's my vet you know I'm like all right I'll meet you
there. So we I, I get I fly touchdown.
TJ picks me up we get to Miami and you know we get to South
Beach and it's South Beach you know if if you at South Beach
back in the day. Back in the day, back in the.
Day is different. And if you've ever had that
experience, you know how electrifying and just how.
The vibe, the people, the culture, the food, the the
organic conversation you just have just walking, just walking,
not having no intentions, but just to figure it out.
Right, right. And and then, you know, it was
one of those a weekend turned into three months, you know, the
entire offseason. And then that's when we
connected. Because I knew that you and TJ
grew up and I trusted the people that TJ introduced me to.
And he was definitely right about you just being a man of
your word. A man that works hard.
A man is passionate. A man that loves people.
A man that loves growth and really truly is about investing
in people. And the only and out this is
true. This is a true testament.
The only person I've ever allowed individual to coach me
train me doing offseason. Was you?
Yeah. And I actually remember you
telling me that. And you're not the only one
that's told me that too. And it's been like very, you
know, it's it's it you take a lot of pride in it.
You're like, wow. And and then also you take it
very serious. And I think that's something
that I don't know if I ever got enough credit for.
And recently I've been doing these podcasts and like Ricky
Jean Francois said something very impactful like that to me.
Oscar got to hear that one too. And it it just means a lot
because. I almost cared too much.
You know like my football career was taken away from me from
injuries and like I literally lived through y'all.
Like I was like, you know like everything we went through and
then to be able to see you put it on the field that for me was
like that was everything you know like and and so I really
cared and I was diving into learning as much as possible to
figure it out and and I just stayed on that and then but to
go back like we. I mean, our work ethic, though,
was on like another level. Tell people I was let's let's
give them. Tell them how I want you to
tell. Them.
Yeah. So back then we would.
And this is, this is not exaggerating.
This is exactly how it went down.
And this was every day, every day, every day, every day,
literally. All right, so we're talking
about waking up. And again the wake up for us,
you know, cuz we all, none of us really had jobs other than I
mean my job is to train y'all so but y'all, you know your NFL
prayers, you're basically on vacation but working out through
it. So it was it could have been
6:00 in the morning, it could have been 7:00 in the morning,
but it was it was early morning, early, all right.
It was early mornings. We would start in the weight
room and we would, we would lift and we would lift.
At least an hour, sometimes two hours.
And when I say lift, I'm talking like to failure, pushing each
other. And by the way, I was young and
and in shape back then so I actually did everything with
them too. It wasn't just me pointing and
count reps no, I was jumping in there and lifting and.
Did every. That's what I'm saying.
That's another reason I respect you, because you did every
single Rep, every single drill, every single run.
You was doing it every day with us, probably.
Why I'm still hurting today, but and I and I wanted to like it
was. Something that at that time I
wanted to lead by example and let y'all know that the crazy
shit we were doing was not crazy like it was, it was doable,
right? So we would work out first very
intentional in our workout, very intentional our lifting.
Then we would go down to the sand pit.
So the Flamingo Athletic Club had a sand pit like a volleyball
court, and we would do sand drills.
Then we go to the pool, so we go straight from the sand pit to
the pool. Back then there was literally
girls laying out topless all around the pool, and I'm not
exaggerated like at least 11 girls basically naked.
And so that was definitely some. Motivation.
You're right. So we're like doing, like
waiting in the water and doing. TJ was very he loved the pool,
like he was a very pool guy. So he had all these crazy
exercises we do in the pool. Then you think it's over.
No, it's not. Then we would go, we would
change, then we would go to the football field.
And we do field work, so we do gassers, we do, you know, all
this, all these routes. We do all this stuff.
And I'll never forget one of my favorite stories about that
time. And I don't know if you were
there for this one, but Sean Taylor was working out with us
and there was a fence that was about like right to his armpit.
And we're having a conversation after the workout and he
literally goes, all right guys, I'll see y'all.
And he Bunny hopped over the fence and to this day is one of
the most incredible. Feats of athleticism I've ever
seen in my life. Was it?
Wasn't he still in college at the time?
I think it was. I think it was either his senior
year or or his like rookie. Yeah, because I remember he was.
Young because it was Jeremy Shockey and Trail Roll Bear to
ask you who else was that the Sharper brothers were?
Out there, Yeah, yeah. Because I remember we would have
also was funny. So the only consistent
consistency we had was me, you and TJ.
Yeah, that's true. We were all not.
Everybody showed up, not. Everybody showed up.
Not everybody had the same work ethic and not everybody could
hang. That's true, because the
workouts were so intense that most of the time you know you
you wouldn't have repeats because they just.
It was too hard for them mentally.
They could not hack it and so we was.
I'm not even done yet. We also remember we then we
would go back and we run the stairs and that was like TJ's
like another TJ thing. Like he was like, Oh no, we're
running the stairs like because sometimes I'd be like, hey, I
think we've done enough and he's like, no, we're running the
stairs and we're in a race up the.
Street Yeah, we just race out and this is me and you know
young and just like he's what my vets are doing.
Let's go you know so but I I tell you it was that was the
foundation. For having a young guy come in
and I knew that if I if I could handle this part and I could get
through the the load of workouts and if I could be around people
who I could learn from. You know, I go up back up to
Jacksonville and you know whether it was mini camp,
training camp, you know, during the season that was a breeze.
That was a breeze, right? Yeah, freak, freak.
Talk about that too. Just out his coaches.
You'd be like laughing during the workouts and I'd be like,
what are you laughing at? He's like, man.
If you knew what I just did. But I came from, you know, this
is nothing. And but then what's?
What's even to me? Even crazier.
We would get done and we would be done, like around, you know,
one or two o'clock. We'd all go.
Back to our apartments. We'd all take a nap and then,
boy, we would party our asses off.
We gotta go out and we would do a dinner.
We would do a club. We we would stay out till 2334.
Sometimes in the morning. Yeah, And then.
And then. Building, running back.
And it was, I mean our the break time really, you know.
A lot of days were maybe 2-3 hours, right?
Because it was afternoon. That's where we would make it
up, right? But then it was just one of
those. OK, You know, come 6:00,
o'clock, come seven, come, you know, 7:30, we're in the gym.
We would always make sure we matched the time that we're
going to meet up, and we're always there.
Always. Yeah.
I'll never forget because it was like, you know, it would get
late and you know, they were like even sometimes, you know,
they turn the lights on in the glove.
And because we were all dancers. That's true.
We're all dancers. I'll never get TJ used to do the
splits in the middle of the club, but we would be dancing
and then sometimes they'd be turning the lights on on us and
we would all like look at each other and be like, all right
I'll see you in the morning and and we, you know, no matter if
we went our separate ways or we left together, we we still, like
you said we met up the next day and we did it again and that I
think y'all probably set me up for failure.
And what I mean by that is like I got so used to you guys.
And and then like you know the Joe Johnson's, I'm trying the
Sean Livingston some some you know, the guys that really
wanted to work and that really gave it their all and that
actually wanted to get better and wanted to be better not just
physically but also mentally and spiritually and I was around.
A handful of those guys and then you know, you start to do this
for a long time and then you start to see the other side of
it where guys have tons and tons of talent, but they're not
willing to put in the work and they're doing the wrong things.
They're showing up late. And so for me, it was very hard
to to keep doing that and that's why I kind of like started to to
excuse me. Excuse me, I started to pivot a
little bit with with my business is because I just couldn't take
it anymore like it was. It was robbing my joy of life
because I loved it so much. And then I wasn't seeing the
love. Not for me, but for the process,
right? Like, I don't care if you like
me or not. I actually kind of don't want
you to like me in that moment because you're not supposed to,
right? Like I'm kind of taking you to a
place you don't want to go so that there's not a whole lot of
love there. Maybe love after you see the
results. And I think that's what I got.
But but that's really why I pivoted.
So let's go back. So you know we had I mean we
could talk for days about all our all our all those those
days, those days I want to I'll tell you a little bit too about
me and you personally like I always admire to you.
You're so you know me. I'm a little like, you know, a
little wild, like crazy, like very.
Passionate. Very.
That's the word I use for you. Very.
Passionate thank you and you have always been a very like.
Like stoic person, like in your in your tone and the way you
handle yourself in your responses.
Like even me and you. We probably you know had our
moments where I said the wrong thing or tried to push you in a
way that didn't rub you the right way.
But you always handled yourself in a very professional way.
And I, and even at a young age, I mean and like for me, I always
admired you for that and I always like looked up to that
and I was always like. I wanna like add that component
to my life, you know, And I think I've done a better job
recently with it. Probably not.
Back there recently, yeah. Recently, you know, just just
just figuring that out now at 45, but.
I just wanted to say that to you and then also to our Our fashion
senses were always on point, you know, I was always would laugh
because we'd show up and I'd be like okay.
He's like wearing the same thing.
I mean, and I don't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing,
but we always I. Would say we we were we were
trendsetters in that in that sense that we weren't shy to you
know show it out and and you know obviously we were dancers
and we weren't afraid to speak to anybody.
We weren't we were not you know. Gun shy to approach anybody or
to ask anyone. We we used to have to, Even
though we were NFL players back then.
We had to negotiate our way into a lot of places, right?
Just because. How South Beach was at the time.
It was different. It was different.
Like like now, if you have money, you can get pretty much
anywhere. Back then, it didn't matter who
you were, didn't matter who you were, how much money you had.
You had to convince them that you belong in the club or where
the restaurant or what have you. So, so I mean, but a lot of that
to your point and first of all let me say and I appreciate you
you know saying that about me and.
And I think a lot of it, too, is 1 just how we all grew up,
right? Whether it was you felt like you
had a good upbringing or not. But we're who we are.
And really now as adults, all comes comes from how we grew up
and how we were affected with the relationships that we had
with, whether it's internal or immediate family or or external.
For me, the way why I was always stoic or serious for how some
people would say is because I knew early on that if I didn't
have a different way of thinking, if I didn't have a
different way of absorbing and handling my emotions, I was just
going to fall into the same trap as everybody else.
That I saw growing up, that I saw, that had way more talent,
had way more opportunities, and they just couldn't handle
themselves. They didn't know how to express
themselves. They didn't know how to handle
thoughts conversations or or would we have the wrong reaction
in the most untimely manner. And so early on I just, I saw
that. So I said okay, this is going to
be who you are and if you were to grow, if you're to get out of
this situation, if you're to help you know your mom and your
siblings. This is how you're going to do
it. And and it worked out.
It worked out and and a lot of it.
I tell you it meant it helped me out in football.
It helped me on the field because not that I didn't have
emotions or not because or I wasn't affected, but I had a way
of being in and out and letting go and moving forward.
Right. Which is a gift.
It's it's very much like they say, the best fighters.
Are not emotional like, they're not emotional fighters there
because in football and fighting and in sports in general, you're
going to have good moments and bad moments.
But how fast can you forget to get the bad moments so that you
can keep doing the good moments. And a lot of guys get caught up
into the mistake and then they're like, they're only
thinking about, man, I drop the ball, man, I drop the ball and
then they drop another ball because they drop that ball.
But if you can forget about it and move on, then that that's a
gift and I think that's one of your.
And that's the thing about life too, right?
You know, because you know life is always evolving, right?
Life there's always there's the victitudes of life are happened
to you. You can't tell.
You don't know when the seasons you don't know.
You know who's going to come in your life and affect it.
But if you're able to think about and collect yourself and
then move on to the next thing, right?
Always changing, always leveling up, always allowing yourself to
grow. Then you'll see the successes,
you know, I agree. I always say there's no such
thing as losses. It's only lessons, right?
Like, it's like you're only learning as you make mistakes.
Yeah. So this stood out to me earlier,
you said. That you really thought that you
were just going to get a job so that you could take care of your
family. And then the first thing that
popped in my head, and don't laugh, but, well, you can't
laugh because I think you'll laugh is the first thing that
popped in my head is you walking down the stairs in your mansion
in Dallas in your robe. And I was like, I was literally
thinking he definitely, he definitely did it.
So you obviously don't tell us, you know, how much money you
made or anything like that. But I I mean it's a pretty.
Awesome moment. Like an outsider looking in and
and someone listening to you say that all you wanted to do is
take care of your family and then to have that moment where
you sign that big contract for Dallas and and you get to do it.
Like you get to do it how? How?
Like, I don't know. Like what was that?
Like, man, So I'll tell you a quick story at the 11th hour.
You know, you go through your rookie contract and then you go
through, you're now a unrestricted free agent.
And at the 11th hour, I'd originally had a somewhat of a
tentative agreement between it was a San Francisco 49ers and
intensity times and 11th hour, I get a call from Bill Parcells,
right? And he's like, listen, this is
Bill, blah, blah, blah. You may have heard some good
things, so bad things, but I would love for you to come to
Dallas. So wait a minute.
Because I love, like, nonchalant Bill Parcells calls him on the
phone. That's pretty epic right there.
Yeah, yeah, Like, was that like. Pretty cool.
It really was I I I so I someone got heads up from one of his
close friends that which I actually knew was a marketing
guy and he called me to give me heads up like listen Bill
Parcells wants to talk to you. Take it.
You know I think it would be a worthwhile for you to to take
the call. So I I, you know I was able to
collect myself and really act real cool.
But really I'm thinking like. It's Bill Parcell.
And so he calls me. So right off, right after we get
off the phone, I called my agent, I said.
Hold up, hold up. You know, like, I'm not saying
anyway yet because I think I can go to Dallas, and I'm from
Dallas. I grew up in.
I grew up in Irving. What what a lot of people don't
know. During the summers when I would
go home for about roughly a month or six weeks, I would
sneak into the old Texas Stadium and I get on, get drive to the
parking lot, find one of the gates that were open, jump or
sneak under or jump it or go through it and then run every
single stairs. Wow.
Every single stairs in that stadium, that old stair I have
seen it ran sweated on those stairs.
And so the opportunity to go back to my hometown and then
back to a state and where I've worked my butt off, you know, I
said wow, like this is you can't write a better strip.
Exactly. And so we I fly to Dallas, it
got to meet Jerry and the whole did the whole tour and then Bill
Parcell sits me down. He says, listen, you're the
missing piece to my defense. I'm like what?
Look this sales guy mind you he's got a first round draft
pick, Pro Bowler Roy Williams first round draft pick, Pro
Bowler Terence Newman, first round draft pick, Pro Bowler
Greg Ellis first round draft pick, future Pro Bowler future
Hall of Fame DeMarcus Ware. Marcus Spears.
Chris Kennedy. Like all these guys that we all
know and see on TV now. And you telling me I'm the
missing piece of your. Defense.
Like, come on. I will say this.
And and and it's a 3 four. I have never in my entire life
ever played in the 3-4 defense. So then he then he's asking me
to learn a whole new scheme and you're telling me I'm the
missing piece of defense. You know, load me home.
Listen, it worked. It sold me and I I was able to
go to Dallas and fulfill the dream where to what you're
asking really have that comfort. Have that cushion.
To take care of my family. Yes, they did.
You know, thank you.
Thank you, Bill. Thank you, Jerry.
You know the way that I really wanted to and and that, you
know, was it was like the coming or you can say, you know, I've
made it. Yes, but yes or no because as we
all know, more money, more problems, right.
And so much comes with that and so many people come out of the
woodwork and you're playing in your hometown.
So there's a lot, there was a lot of stress at the time, but
at the same time. If if I, you know, if I just
could take a snippet of that time period, I definitely
fulfilled a dream and a goal. And how long did you play for
the Cowboys? I was in Dallas three years.
Three years and was that your last stint or you went to
Buffalo? Right.
No. Well, not yet.
Joey days, right? So when when Bill Parcells came
to Miami as as as the President, football OPS, football
operations. He traded for me to Miami, so I
became a parcels guy, OK? You know, from that point on,
and got to play in Miami for two years and then played a year in
Buffalo. All right.
That's all I was right. Yeah.
All right. Yeah.
I knew, I remembered. So yeah, I didn't know the time.
So Buffalo was the last. Yeah, Buffalo was the last stop.
Probably a good place to. It was.
It was one of those like, God was like, listen, you played in
Jacksonville, FL, you played. Like I'm going to give you the.
Dallas in Texas and then back to Miami.
Like you need some Cody in life. Like I need to.
I need to cool you off. You're too hot right now.
Exactly, exactly. And So what was the the NFL run
was? How many years?
10 total. 10 total Wow. A decade?
Yeah, that's awesome. Us off And now.
So, all right, so now football's over at your business.
Like you're like a legitimate businessman.
Now let's talk a little bit about that, like that
transition, because I know for me at A at going from like an
athlete to playing college football to that and then kind
of diving into strength and conditioning and then going way
more into CEO life and business life is definitely different,
but. There's also a lot of some
similarities and especially from leadership.
And I think that one of the main reasons guys like us are so
connected is because of our football experience and like
what we learned through those times through these kind of
coaches like the Bill Parcells. Like for me, my Bill Parcells
was Brother Oliver. I don't know if you remember
Coach Oliver from the championship team from Alabama
and then he coached at Auburn, but.
He was that famous 11 front defense that shut down Gino was
it Gino, the the Miami Hurricanes.
Yeah they shut remember they shut them down and and all
eleven people would line up on the line and then the so he came
to Auburn and he would like the way that he would break down
film and then also just the way he.
He treated us as like men, you know, not kids.
Like he taught us things about life.
And that's something that I'll never forget.
Talk about a little bit how you've how you've transitioned
into the business world and how you know you've used some of
these tools and some of these things that you've.
You've learned throughout your career that 10 year career
because you were influenced by not only veteran guys.
Now then you become a veteran, then you're I mean Bill Parcells
and I mean I'm sure you said Jack Del Rio.
I mean some of these amazing coaches.
And I can't, I can't imagine that you're not implementing
some of that into your now when you speak to the 80% white
women, are you giving them a little those, a little bit all
Nuggets? Probably not as colorful as they
gave it to me. That's true, yeah.
But definitely I bring, I bring all of that.
You know, as you know, as you level up and as you transition,
you know, most people think that they have to completely reinvent
themselves and become. This new, you do have to become
somebody new. But what is really happening is
you're bringing all that experience and all that
knowledge and all that perspective with you.
None of that stays, you know, in the back.
And yes, the transition, one of the things that I knew early on
that I for me to continue to have success in my life.
And success can be, you know, it's it's ambiguous, you can
describe it however you want to, but it's it's.
It's having that confidence that you're reaching those milestones
and those goals that you've established and you want in your
life. One of those things I knew early
on that I did not want to be a statistics, a statistic.
Remember, early on I said how I grew up, what I saw, I always
know how to do something different, right?
You know, most NFL players and stats tell you 75% of the NFL
players, two years after leaving their professional sport, get a
divorce. 70% go broke. I think the stat for even like,
you know like mental behaviors or descriptives or or even like
higher injuries. And I just said wow.
So I didn't give myself time to wallow and and say, oh, I'm no
longer a professional athlete, you know, within, within.
Three months from making a decision and I was fortunate to
say so. They wanted me to now become a
backup, right? And I, you know, at the time,
I'm like, no, you're not going to let him work.
You're just going to say you're just going to give the position
to him. Yeah, you need to earn it.
And I said, you know what, It's not for me.
I'm okay. I'll walk away from.
I said at the time it was $1,000,000 guarantee to be a
backup, you know, a linebacker. And I said I'll walk away from
that. Now, I know it's a lot harder to
make $1,000,000 in a real world, but I did that and then within
three months of making that decision, I enrolled in grad
school and said I would I would go, you know, get my MBA, get my
masters, and the reason for that.
I thought of OK, my peers that I, you know, went to college
with that graduated, they went on to the real world while I
went out and played football, right.
And so they have a 10 year head start on me into what I call
civilian life and really living life and I needed to accelerate
that learning. And it was one of the best
decisions that I made, not because of the philosophies and,
you know, all the school that you get from it, but from
building your network and from adapting to the business world
is really what I got out of getting an MB, a then per se the
school side of it, And then from there moved to New York, lived
in New York for two years, had a had a place, an apartment in the
city of Manhattan. And I worked for a private a
wealth management company that was in New Jersey and I would
take the train, the Jersey train do the reverse commute every day
and and I did that and that span that was when I got my my
lessons of business and investments and and learning you
know how to how to look at a deal and then how to look at
partnerships and it how to present you know have these
formal you know board room presentations with these guys
that I started. You know, you actually you've
met one of them, Manish, who I start to invest with while I was
still playing. And that really that added
another layer for me to have that that that that flexibility,
that like multifaceted layer where I can be an an athlete, I
can talk sports, but at the same time I can be relatable and talk
business. And so I did that for what, 6-7
years? And then the pandemic happened.
I just got married. You know, we were very similar.
You were a little bit ahead of me in that span were similar,
being the same phase of life. And I knew that one of the
challenges in my role at the time with the wealth management
company where I traveled a lot and I.
Think you you had you had mentioned.
That, yeah. And I knew that for me to have
success in my personal life, family was the most important
thing. Early on I said if I'm ever cuz
during my playing days I've been around TJ, I just you're like.
Me we're gonna blame it on. TJ He's not here.
TJ We're blaming it on you can't defend himself all day.
You're blaming. It on we always said, I always
said I'm not gonna have a serious relationship.
You know, you know, I remember that I.
Remember when you were like, no bro.
It's just not. I just, I just know it's not
going to be for me like I'm going to wait and when I got in
that phase, that mode, you know I was all in.
We're we're that type of people right.
We're all in once we. Once we make a decision, it's
done. There's no tiptoeing around and
that all in for me meant that I wanted to be a present husband.
A present father and I, you know, I wasn't, I hadn't even
had my first daughter yet. And I just said when it happens,
I want to be all in. So I knew that I needed to pivot
again. So pivot from being a
professional athlete, going to business and finance and then
all of a sudden trying to figure it out and pivot again.
And happened to meet somebody who knew who had a relationship
that I had in the in the finance world that said wanted me to
actually come to UBS. And I said no, I've already done
the finance thing. And then they said well, once
you look at insurance and consulting and risk management,
once you look in that space, I don't know nothing about that
like why would I do that and did my due diligence and one of the
things that I found out, you know that you do especially in
the field and I'm in now in employee benefits and risk
management. It's really about people.
That's the that's the problem that you're solving is helping
businesses and employers and owners, you know connect with
their employees and bring them solutions and provide
compensation and and and health and you know, excuse me, and
medical and dental and vision and all the voluntary benefits
that you can help support an employee's overall wellbeing,
which adds to an organizational wellbeing as well.
And I said wow one I love people I got I just I just love having
a conversation with strangers and you know just learning about
them and their journey like we're doing right now and and I
love learning their stories because you can always find a
lesson in somebody's story and somebody's journey that that you
can relate to. And I said well I love people
and I I one of the things I still have a foundation now
dream builders foundation and at the time the.
The brokerage firm that I would go work for, their owner, she's
really huge in the community as far as philanthropic endeavors,
gave back to a lot of communities, a lot of different
programs, and I figured this was one person again that I could
learn from. So I jumped, I mean again, then
tiptoe into it. I jumped full head steam and
since then I've transitioned, still in the same industry.
Last year I got the opportunity to become the market leader area
president for one of the top three brokerage firms in the
world and and at Gallagher and they asked me to join their
team, actually lead the team in the market.
Like a head coach now? Yeah, exactly.
Yeah. Like, that's how I hear it.
Like I'm like, Oh my God, he's a coach.
Yeah, just in a different field. Think how far I've come.
But I tell you, I take you through that story and that
journey is because. Everything I've learned playing
football came with me from a from a mindset.
So Jack Del Rio, one of the things I learned from Jack Del
Rio on day one, he would always talk about mindset, midstream
adjust, mindset, midstream, adjust mindset is how you start
your day has nothing to do with the world, has nothing to do
with external forces. It's all on you.
You know how you receive and how you communicate.
It's all on you being able to. Be flexible and to midstream
adjust when things don't go your way will determine the
difference between if you make this play or if they blow right
through you and it's a touchdown.
And I apply that to my everyday approach and the conversations
that I have with our team. It's about being able to be
flexible and pivot. When you're making a sale,
you're trying to make a sale and the prospect or the of a
customer, if you want to say, isn't buying it or they throw
something left filled at you, how do you pivot from there?
And it's not having to pull a rabbit out of hat or be anything
different, but understanding, giving wiggle room to be able to
adjust in that moment and find a way to have to bring it, to
bring it home. You know, that's one Bill
Parcells. One of the early lessons that I
I got from Bill was, you know, be able to be comfortable in in
confrontation, like confrontation is okay, but
always leave room that you can mend the relationship and always
come back. So Bill was very
confrontational. Even in his, you know, more
mature days, right? You know, But what you always
see, Bill always found a way to build bridges.
Even after he's torn a guy down, he's let him know how he really
feels. He'll always go back and he'll
mend that relationship. And so that allowed me to be
able to tell, just allow my team to understand the truth.
Like this is what it this is what it is.
Whether you are fulfilling your goals or you might have made a
mistake but you it's. It's not what you say, but it's
how you say it. But then always come back and
build them back up, you know, And I think that's an important,
important tool. Wade Phillips, you know, Wade
Phillips was one of my coaches in Dallas.
He became a head coach and I loved playing in his, his
defense and the creativity and how free he was, you know, and
just being creative in the moment.
And he gave us a lot of autonomy on the field.
There were games where he would call one play.
And Brady, James and I would look at each other like, Nah, we
don't. We don't go run that.
Let's run this. Yeah.
And we would run that and talk. About a contrast between Bill
Parcells. Right.
But so in my life now and my team, I, I I'm, you know, I I
allow them to be themselves, right?
I allow them to have that autonomy.
So all of my sporting endeavors and the lessons and the
different cultures I've had in my life, I use a lot of their
lessons. And that's what has made me me
as a man. No, it's awesome.
I'll tell you one thing we need to do though, what do you think
of the water well that gets really good, right is you have
to promise me we'll we'll run this back with TJ and we'll just
have to like. Compare like, tell the story.
Tell a story, yeah, and just stick to the story.
Yeah. Oh yeah, we can definitely.
Do that. Oh my God, there's so many.
This is the one thing that you know.
Do you remember going to Jacksonville for the Super Bowl?
Oh, all of us. Do I Hey.
Bro, I was Heath Evans the whole time.
I remember everywhere when I checked in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
It was the one like my, my, my wife is cool.
Like she she knows, she knows. She knows.
You know, she may not know like all the levels, but like, she
knows. So she's cool with that.
Those are the days. All right, Girl, dad, girl, dad.
You got two now. Yes.
That, like, happened fast. Yes, like, was the second one
like a surprise or we all trying?
No, we were you know it's one of those.
All right. You ready?
I was ready. I've always, you know, yeah,
let's get it over with. Let's get it over with.
If I could have 10, I would have 10.
Right. But you know it's so very
patient when she said let's go, I was like let's go, you know.
And it happened right away. I actually not intentionally not
because we're going to talk about this.
But I I have socks like this is my oldest or.
And this is my my. Baby.
Ayla Yeah. So I'm.
I'm all in on them, too. That's amazing.
And how's how's it been just. As you can witness, and anybody
who's had kids, it's the best experience you will ever have,
ever. Nothing.
Trump's.
And people talk about it, you
know, like I've had like even my brother.
So my brother has three kids and.
You know, he would talk about it and talk about it and talk about
it, but until. You experience.
Until you experience it, you just don't know.
But it's it's the For me, it is literally the highlight of my
morning, midday, evening. Whenever I have an opportunity
to be with my son, it is everything.
Like everything. And I tell people and and I
don't know if it's a boy girl thing, but especially having a
girl for a man. There's something there's
there's like a bond that is hard to describe and it's a love that
it's even hard to to express in adjectives, for me at least.
And I love my wife. My wife is my North Star.
She's my rather die. She's my best friend.
She knows, like maybe not 100% of my dirt, but like we we
commute. We're very upfront and very
transparent with each other. Like, she knows all of that.
But my girls like my girls. Like she know when the babies
come around, like, hi, hi, hi, they're here.
You know, quick story. My oldest, when she was born,
and I remember cutting the vocal cord, handing her to Alex, my
wife. And they're having their moment
and she's crying. I'm like, oh wow.
It's pretty cool. Like I'm a father now.
Like this is. Yeah.
And but at that time and that moment I there was the
connection wasn't there. And it was just one of those.
I was just. I was just there.
And they were having their thing.
They were doing their thing and all the nurses and the doctors
was all about them. And as a male as a father, like
you're just. You're just useless, like you
say. And so this goes on for about an
hour. The nurse comes back in and says
Sir, OK, we have to do some tests and you know, take your
daughter and they do it right there in the room.
And as they grab Araya and at the time the whole entire hour
besides her coming out, she didn't cry.
She would cut the book of cord gave her to Mama.
This girl was quiet and they were just, she was great.
As soon as the nurse grabbed her, put her on this table to do
all this test, she starts crying, like just on top of the
lungs. It's like screaming.
So now Papa Bear comes out, I'm like, wait a minute, what's
going on? Like what did you do to my dogs
like? She's a newborn.
They cry. They cry like, no, this is hours
I was going by like she she wasn't crying like Sir, calm
down. She's okay.
Let us do what we do. Like so I'm I'm, I'm feeling
frustrated. I I got to do something.
I got to do something. And so I just said, well, her
name's Araya. It's spelled ARIYAH.
It means lioness of God. And the whole time she was in
the womb, I would say her name every single night.
And in this moment, I just said, well, just just say her name.
I said, Araya, Araya, Daddy's here as soon as I say that.
And then she turns around, looks at me, not a word.
Oh my God. And we're staring at each other.
She's looking at me. I'm looking at her.
And in that moment. That was the bond like that was
it. And from that day on it was it's
this little girl sees me, I hear a voice, she sees me, she hears
my voice. It's it's all like we're we're
like 222 peas in a pie, like we're just so and and the same
and the same connection is even with the second one.
So it is definitely something special.
That's amazing. That could have been a mic drop
for sure. Very touching moment.
Is there anything And I and I, you know, I know that advice is
based off experience and but I do feel like a man that is in
your position that has had the life you certainly have many
more things to accomplish and and in my opinion we've both
just started like especially now we have young children so we
better do a lot more with ourselves.
So we're in trouble but just you know, if you could.
Give us a gym, you know like like share something that you
feel like maybe maybe is inside of you that often you don't have
a platform to even say and you have it here.
And I would and I obviously I would love to hear like you know
some deep gym from you and it doesn't even have to be that
deep. But just I I'm just curious like
what's in you right now that you could share you know?
I I've. Gone through many innovations of
evolving as a man, as a person, as a human, and where I am in
life, you know what I say before has allowed me to get here and
to really be here. Most of the time, you know,
we're all chasing something and we fall into the trap of the rat
race or trying to go out and and do something and not realize the
importance of being in the moment.
And family to me is everything. I I'm fortunate that what I get
to do now, it's not because of necessity, but it's because it's
a purpose. It's a passion.
I truly do love the industry I'm in.
I truly do love the people that I serve right?
I serve on their behalf. You know, my team.
At the same time I serve my family.
Nothing. And going through the process of
getting the this role and the job, you know, I I went through
the whole process got to talk got to go all the way up to the
CEO and the chairman of the company you know.
And I told him listen if this role the seat is going to
disrupt family and it's not for me and and to have that level of
conviction and of of of maybe passion and to know thyself.
I think it's important and as a man, as a man that you are
leading your family. It is on you.
You if you don't grow, if you don't evolve as a person, your
family don't grow 100%, you know and that and that is true.
And then once we don't realize the effect that they have on
their family dynamic. You know, stats, that's stats.
Are there data is there that tells you, you know the
likelihood of of of teen pregnancy, the likelihood of
teens, you know not graduating for high school, that the
likelihood of teens getting in trouble is due to the man,
whether he's there or not there and not there.
Meaning you know, he's not present.
He could be there but not present, you know, and I think
that is the most, if I can say anything through this podcast or
anybody can hear me, there's no your importance.
And know how you lead and if you can understand the importance of
your leadership, whether it's I'm, I'm outnumbered in my own
house. And so I have a bunch of women,
and I've learned that the best thing I can do in my own house
is to be patient. Is to be patient, to allow my
wife to have her voice, to allow my soon to be 3 year old to have
her voice. But then you know, not that my
word is final, but just to absorb what they have to say and
what whatever they're going through and then give my
perspective and my opinion. Then we'll come together and and
and come up with a solution together but that my voice is
just as important as theirs. But to be patient in in those
moments, so. You know the the sum of it all
is just that your importance is relevant.
You know your need is there. Like your Rep you are relevant
in this whole dynamic of family of of community, of life and to
continue to to grow into that and own that and.
Another thing too, that just stood out to me is you use the
word serve and you're serving your your work and you're
serving your family. Yes, and.
Hearing you say that and hearing you say I'm serving, I'm not
working. I'm serving like that
perspective and identifying that and knowing that is to me why
you will continue to to just accelerate and not only your
field but also, you know, when you do have your ten children.
Alex. Alex, sorry, she's.
Young enough she's doing, but I don't know if I'm I can make it.
But I really appreciate this I I mean we could talk for three
hours. So I'm just I'm I'm actually
it's going to be fun like you know you're here in Miami we're
both you know kids we we do need to hang out more But but I I'm
I'm like excited now too and I don't even use that word.
I don't even like to be you know I'm more encouraged or what have
you but. Just to see like where we both
end up, you know, in the next 5-10 years, it's going to be
cool. Right.
And I think that's the cool thing about our connection and
our bond is that it's we're doing our own thing and we're.
Each other's biggest cheerleader, right?
Like we're each other's biggest support.
And whenever you know, you reach out or I reach out, I mean we
make a conscious effort to make sure that we're there for one
another and the whole family thing because we are in the same
phase and season of life. You know, we have that
perspective to where we can always lean on each other.
So just know that I value the relationship.
I, I, I, I, I respect and truly understand what you're going
through as you know, you know as.
As an entrepreneur, as as a business owner and you're you're
you're doing it like you're crushing it.
You are the example, the model of the platform that folks
should emulate and copy because the success and the growth is
there and we'll be there.