Welcome lesbians, to this week's episode of Lesbian Supper Club
podcast. You are joined by Scarlet today.
If I sound a bit dodgy, it's because I feel a bit dodgy.
Got back from New York and got a severe chest infection with
laryngitis I think. Suspected influenza A and then
also what developed into pneumonia.
So it's been a really blissful week and a half to be honest.
As you could imagine. Never felt more single in my
life actually, other than when I was laid in bed coughing my
fucking guts up to the point where I could barely breathe.
Found myself choking on my own tongue and thought if I cock it
right now, there's literally no one around me to know that I'm
about to die. At which point I then did start
crying furiously because it was a really depressing realization
to be coughing until your lips go blue, not to be able to catch
your breath, then throwing up into your own hands from
coughing so badly and realizing just how alone you are.
But we made it through. I quite literally made it
through by the skin of what is the saying, the skin of my now
the skin of my teeth. Fuck knows, I just I barely
scraped by, but I did get there in the end.
So yeah, that wasn't great, but I feel like I'm just recovering
in time for Christmas and the festivities which come with
that. Although I feel like I've got
some weird side effects from antibiotics slash inhaler where
I just have constant heart palpitations right now.
I have just rang the doctor about it because it doesn't feel
right. Like even when I'm I'm not
sleeping properly because I'm waking up with severe heart
palpitations which I then can't get back to sleep from.
So yeah, that's not been great. But I do think I'm on the app
and hopefully recovered in time for Christmas.
I'm going away this weekend to Harrogate with some friends and
2 little girls in my life. Who's my friends little children
and which will be nice because I think it's nice to be around
children at Christmas and I'm sure Harrogate's going to be
lovely. Then I will come back and go
home for Christmas and then I'll probably come back to London for
the bits in between. And then I'm going to Egypt with
my dad in January, which I'm really looking forward to
because I'm going to do some motocross in the desert, which
I'm really looking forward to after.
My little motocross adventure that I went on in Fuerteventura,
which was one of the best days of my life.
I cannot wait to to do that in the desert.
So please do send any Egypt recommendations and Sharm El
Sheikh, what did I want to talk about today?
Oh, first of all, I want to speak today about New York,
which was. Genuinely absolutely incredible.
Both events sold out and we had so many of you messaging us
asking for more events and asking if there was more tickets
because you guys didn't know about it and the the events
themselves. The evenings were just
incredible. Again, somehow managed to find a
similar vibe to the type of people and the reasons that
people come. Like for the London events as
well, which was incredible. Our first night in New York as
well was incredible. We held it.
Johnny's, there was like 180 of you there.
It was so much fun. And I just want to take this
time as well to say a special thank you to a legal mezcal who
were our first New York sponsor, our first alcohol sponsor in the
States. You guys were amazing.
We love Aliga Mezcal. If you don't know Aliga Mezcal,
they're coming over to the UK. If you're listening to this in
America and you haven't tried them, try it.
Their story is amazing. The mezcal is amazing.
The brand is full of lots of incredible, kind, lovely,
genuine people. They as a brand have done so
much for not only LGBTQ plus communities, but local
communities around America and South America.
They have such an incredible story.
The background as to where Illegal come from and got to
where it is today is super inspiring and I feel so lucky
that LSE is able to partner with brands and work with people that
hold the same sentiments and narratives that we do and that
have done so much good for their respective communities whilst
bringing so much joy and community in their space as well
together. Like they do so many local
events, music events, they do so many like local events
themselves, like Illegal has done so many incredible sponsors
and supported so many amazing local charities.
It's really nice to be able to pair and collaborate with brands
that hold all of the right narratives.
So I'm super grateful to a Legal and I can't wait to be working
with them more in 2026. And if you haven't tried a legal
mezcal, try a legal mezcal because it is very, very nice.
It was like, I think only my second time trying it, and I
enjoyed it a lot. So I'm now a lesbian, a legal
mezcal drinker. That's another discovery that
I've had for 2025. I think people got to connect
and I got to speak to so many of you.
I know Freya got to speak to so many of you and we genuinely had
like such an amazing time. So I'm so looking forward.
To be able. To come back out to New York in
the new year, we are planning right now other locations for
2026 and there are some really big things in the pipelines.
I'm so excited about where that's going and I'm so grateful
for, as you know, as we've said before, just the continued
support is just always incredible.
And I can't believe we are actually now taking this brand
globally because of the support and like dedication and rallying
that all of you guys bring. It is just honestly mind blowing
to me. What did I want to?
Talk about today, I think talking about Christmas
etcetera. I wanted to kind of speak about
two things today. One being kind of the emotions
that come up when you dip after coming out of a long bout of
depression. And then I want to speak as well
about the feelings that Christmas time bring up for me
and probably bring up for a lot of you as well.
I think the last few weeks I have felt not myself as much as
I have done the last few months. And I know on this podcast, the
last few months I've been talking a lot about my journey
into healing and pulling myself out of a really dark period of
time in my life. And how much happier I've been
feeling and how grateful I was for how much better in myself I
felt and how much my life really felt like it is falling into
place. And I'm going to say is because
it's still is, because blips don't define the overall
picture. But over the last few months
I've been helping someone extremely close to me through
cancer, which just before I went to New York was an extremely
stressful time. And I got sick as well just
before I went to New York. And obviously New York was
incredible, but also it's, it's still extremely stressful to
make sure that we're doing the right thing and bringing the
right energy and bringing the right vibe and we've got the
spaces right. So it's super stressful as much
as it's incredible. And then just the admin of life,
you know, my dishwasher broke at the same time as my washing
machine broke and my fridge broke and trying to get all of
those things sorted as well when you're never really home.
And it was just a lot. And then getting I'll on top of
that, over the last couple of weeks, I have found myself
emotionally not as at peace or as resilient as I feel like I've
been the last few months. And some other stuff happened in
my private life as well, which knocked me about a bit.
And I haven't felt that like level of optimism and inner
peace that I would say that I've really felt the last few months.
And to be honest with you, it's really spun me out a bit.
I think because I was in such a dark space for such a long time,
I kind of made probably an unrealistic promise to myself,
which was I would never get back to that place.
I would never even want to touch the sides of getting back to
that place. And actually, that's not a
realistic way of thinking about life because so many things
about life are so far out of our control.
And I think for me now, the fear of ever feeling like that again
is so huge. That is so soon as my probably
the set of kind of rules and regulations in which I live my
life by now to be able to stay on a strong platform.
If I feel one of those foundations begins to shake, I
have noticed that I really struggle with the concept of
like keeping myself grounded and looking forward.
So I know that I catastrophize anyway as a person.
I know this about myself, but I had got a lot better and I am a
lot better at being like, that's stupid.
I'm not going to let myself go there.
But I think since coming back from New York, being unwell,
kind of actually being able to sit back for a hot 2nd and just
process everything that happened in the lead up to New York.
And then also probably just actually sitting down for even a
small moment, I have actually found really difficult this last
week. And I've been thinking a lot
about what next year looks like. And I've taken a redundancy from
work. And so that's stressful.
As much as it's amazing, it's stressful.
And thinking about everything that needs to be done and
everything I want to do to be able to achieve the things that
I want to achieve and take this brand to where I want it to go
and what we want to do with the podcast and how we want to grow
that. And it is so amazing, but I put
a lot of pressure on myself and I think when you don't have a
moment to stop all the while that's stressful.
All the while that's stressful, you don't have a moment to
think. Whereas laying, being forced to
lay down in bed forced me into a space of thinking and I didn't
like it very much. So it's made me realise that I
don't think working on ourselves and the journey of working on
ourselves has ever really over because we constantly evolve and
we learn new things every day and therefore learn new things
about ourselves. But it definitely made me
realise again just how vulnerable we all are.
And I think we can all get into a space of thinking right.
Well, I've done the work now and I'm happier.
So I've almost reached this destination, but actually a set
of circumstances always due to change.
And I think the most strength we can show ourselves as being able
to walk through change. And it doesn't mean not being
able to suffer through said change, but being able to deal
with things in a way that allows us to process different
thoughts, feelings and emotions without getting stuck.
And I've noticed about myself the last week and 1/2, I've
really been ruminating and getting stuck on different
scenarios, which has really been affecting me.
It's been affecting my sleep. I think everything combined, as
I say, with being I'll has been really difficult.
And I've felt that glimmer of loneliness, like that deep inner
loneliness which I have felt before in my life.
And I didn't think that I would feel again and I did.
And when I did that then frightened me as well because I
thought shit. I've only really felt like I've
just come out of this space and got to a space where I don't
feel like that anymore, and now I'm fucking feeling like it
again. What does this mean?
I don't want to go back there. How would I go back there?
What would I do if I did? How would I get out of it?
I don't want to live in that and it's just getting to that huge
catastrophe. But actually, the last couple of
days I have made a choice to stop my thoughts from going
there and I've made a choice to continue to work on the things
that I love, continue to be around the people that I love to
be around, continue to do stupid things like dancing to Christmas
music in the living room and behave like a child.
Because in those little moments, those are the moments that I
feel like relieved from my own thoughts and give myself kind of
just a break from spiralling. So I kind of wanted to
highlight. There that if.
You are on a journey of your own self healing and discovery or
recovering from depression or you've recovered from depression
and you live as well in that moment of like in the back of
your mind always thinking what if I get back there and then
that at some point kind of becomes your reality.
Just know that it is normal and I don't think that we should
jump to punishing ourselves or questioning when we don't always
feel 100% and we're not always feeling happy in our strongest
within ourselves. That is is really normal and I
needed to remind myself that a lot that all moments in life are
temporary, the good and the bad. And therefore when you're in the
good, you don't think necessarily about going back to
the bad because you feel that strength inside yourself and you
feel that level of happiness and you're distracted by all the
good. And then sometimes when the not
so good creeps up on you, it feels huge and it feels
terrifying and it feels like you're taking 10 steps back.
I can assure you that you're not.
Because I can imagine if you're anything like me, when you were
down, you would have built yourself a toolbox and you would
have gone through really dark periods that you have built
resilience in and therefore you don't get back to those places.
But even if you take 2 steps back, it doesn't then make mean
that you won't take another 10 steps forward in the next four
or five weeks. You have to just keep walking
forward. And it doesn't mean that you
walk forward and feel entirely happy all the time.
You can still walk forward and have laughs with your friends
and amazing moments and feel happiness and still have a bit
of sadness at the pit of your stomach or the heart
palpitations or the anxiety and the worry.
Those things can coexist with still celebrating your life,
celebrating how far you've come and being able to hold optimism
for the future. So I wanted to talk about that a
bit and just about how mental health and just the journey of
life is not one straight path. And as much as I have been on
here these last few months, talking about the transitioned
throughout my life of going to one of the worst places I've
ever been and then coming all the way up and having some of my
happiest moments this year of my life, which is incredible, That
contrast. It's then OK to come back down
to like a 6070% and stay there for a bit and then get back up
to 100%. It's not always going to be all
or nothing, and you're not always going to stay in one
mindset forever. It's just impossible, both for
good and bad. And talking of mindset and
talking of slightly depressing things.
Yeah. So I don't like Christmas.
I don't really know where this has stemmed from, but this is
another thing. I always find that at Christmas
I feel depressed. I think it's a depressing time
of year and I'm sorry if you're joining this podcast today,
driving home for Christmas and feeling like yay and just turn
me off. Honestly, just turn me the fuck
off. But I have to speak my truth.
I can't pretend that I enjoy something I don't enjoy.
I don't like Christmas. I haven't liked Christmas
probably ever since I was young. I think it started with my mum,
'cause my mum always used to say even when we were kids she
didn't like Christmas and I think actually now that's a
really bad thing to do when you've got young children is to
say that you don't like Christmas so you can't wait to
take the Christmas tree down. Have had conversations with my
mum about it, To which in her very Somerset accent she
responds saying well it is just what it is, I don't like it.
Which fair enough, I respect the honesty, mum, but at the same
time, like you did make a decision to have children.
So maybe like pull yourself fucking together for that.
So I think it stems from that is that there's always been like an
awareness of me. There's been a bit of a negative
connotation around Christmas. And that's not to say like we
don't have amazing Christmases because we do like I've got a
really big family and always either on Christmas Day or
Boxing Day, the whole family get together.
There's like 30 of us. Some of my cousins have had
children now. So there's lots of little kids
around. My family are crazy loud.
We are shameless. It's always fun.
Everyone gets stupid. There's never any like arguments
in my family. We don't really get to that
level of like politics at the dinner table.
Thank God. Can you imagine me and which we
will get onto. And so it's always fun.
Like I don't have bad Christmases.
I just find the run up and I don't know if this is like a
neurodivergent thing. I find it really overwhelming.
I think first of all I tell myself every year I really want
to enjoy it. But then every year I'm always
busy doing something or thinking, well, I'll go and do a
Christmassy thing next week, or do it next week, or do it next
week. And then before I know it, it's
already the week of Christmas. And all I've been doing still is
like working. And I haven't listened to a
single Christmas song unless it's been on in the shop.
And I haven't watched a single Christmas film.
And I haven't gone and done the Christmas shopping things or,
you know, even got myself a fucking like eggnog latte.
I've done nothing. So it just feels like suddenly
it's gone before it's even started.
It's like the week before Christmas.
I haven't lived in the moment of any of it.
And that makes me feel depressed instantly because I'm like, this
is now happening to me, It's happening around me and I'm not
in the moment. And now it's slipping away
before I've even got a chance to sit down and enjoy it.
So I find that really difficult and depressing because I'm
always thinking about it as well-being over before it's even
started. God, this is not saying a lot
about my mindset, is it? And then Christmas Day I find
really depressing, like I don't know what it is.
And I again, I try every year, but I just find it.
I think it is being on the spectrum.
It's like I find the fact that people almost put on performance
to enjoy it. I can see and feel.
And so I'm waiting for it to be done because I find it difficult
to be kind of operating on that level of, Oh my God, it's
Christmas. And then when it is done, I feel
depressed because I've not enjoyed it.
I've not lived in the moment. And then another years passed
and I feel like I've wasted another year.
And I know it sounds so silly, but I wanted to come on here to
talk about that today because I know that I will not be the only
one. Because every time I come on
here and talk about something really fucking niche, loads of
you message me. But it is a sadness, like I
think like Christmas Eve is always all right because there's
still enough time to kind of revel.
And I do get that bit of like inner, like Christmas spirit in
optimism. And then I often go back to
Somerset. So I see friends and that's
really nice, like see friends that I've not seen in a long
time. And it feels like home and it
feels like we're, we all step back in time and, and that's
really nice. But then Christmas Day is just
all of that For what? That's what I find.
And I even remember feeling it as a child, like going
downstairs and us all being sat there and like opening our
presents the whole time. I feel on edge and I don't know.
What it is? Please someone say you can
relate. I don't know what it is.
I just feel like I want this to be done, but I don't want it to
be over because I'm going to be depressed when it's over.
Because then it's done and I've not done anything and I don't
feel like I've enjoyed it. And then it's another 12 months
and I'm going to have to repeat this pattern again and this
cycle again because I don't know how to break out of it.
So yeah, I find it super sad. And there's, I think as well,
because there's always people around us who we know have
hardship in these times as well. Like there is someone who's
actively suffering with depression, or they've lost a
family member or their animal is ill, or someone else in the
family is ill, or they haven't got the money to be able to do
the things that they want to do. And all of that consumes me as
well because I'm just thinking about how other people are
suffering during this time. And if I feel the way that I
feel, which is just a bit melancholy when I've got so many
amazing people around me, friends, family, I've got good
health, you know, I'm financially stable.
I'm so blessed. If I feel like that, how do
other people then feel who don't have all of those amazing things
that I have? And now I say that out loud.
I'm like, Scarlett, put yourself to fucking gather.
But it is just, it's just a feeling.
And it's a feeling that I'd love to be able to stop.
But it's just one that I just get every year.
And then the lull between Christmas and New Year I'm
actually all right with because I can make peace with the fact
that it's done. New Year's, I think, is fucking
shit, let's be honest. Like, it's shite.
It is. It's again, it's depressing.
It's shit. Oh, clap, clap, clap.
It's fucking midnight. Great.
Now it's we've got to go into January and this is again where
my mind goes. I'm laughing at myself because
this is actually so bad, but like, great.
Everyone's fucking skin depressed.
Everyone wants to go on a diet and go to the gym, no one wants
to drink anymore. Then we've got to just get
through that until payday end of January and then life starts to
go back to normal and it's just a distant memory.
So that's my hot take on Christmas.
I'm really sorry. That it is.
I've been such a fucking negative Nancy talking about
that. What do we like about Christmas?
Right. I fucking love a Bailey's a lot.
I love a Bailey's. Although I've not been drinking,
so that's not really working out for me either, now is it?
Which I will get on into a minute.
So I like a Bailey's. I obviously love the food
associated with Christmas, but again, always seem to get sick
at Christmas time, lose my appetite, slay.
What else do I like about Christmas?
I love being around my family. I love being around like my nan
is such like a like, I just love my nan.
I love like my uncles and aunties and my cousins and their
kids. Obviously I love my mum and my
dad. I like being home in Somerset
and doing all of that stuff that reminds me of like walking the
dogs, going to the local pub, all of the things that remind me
of a really simple time in my life when I was about 16/17/18.
So I love that and I do love like getting up and being with
the family and having a hot chocolate.
Like I do find nice moments I do.
But it please someone tell me that they do understand the just
the lingering feeling of like melancholy.
That's the only way I can describe it toppled.
On top of that, a lot of you will probably be at home sadly
with like arsehole family members, which thankfully I
don't have to deal with because I would like to say most of mine
aren't. I also think a lot of them now
know that like, I am like a bull in a China shop when it comes to
things like politics, gay rights, not being a fucking base
basic asshole. So I have established myself
enough in the family to know that like if you want to go
there, we're going, but just make sure that you're prepared
to go there because obviously despite the occasion, I won't be
backing down. So make sure you come prepared
with a lot of ammo in your back pocket.
So I think we've got to a point in my family now where we don't
we just don't bring up conversations like that.
And that doesn't make it necessarily right.
But I do think at Christmas is the one time we can all agree to
just shut the fuck up about certain things.
I think some families and some family members haven't quite got
to that yet. So if you are the only gay in
the family that's having to single handedly stick up to your
Uncle Pete, who's no doubt making comments about gender,
sexuality, race, Nigel Farage, Trump, etcetera etcetera, I'm
sorry that you have to deal with that added shit show on top.
My advice for that is they don't.
Personally, and this is probably terrible advice, I don't see
anything wrong with throwing a plate at the dinner table if if
needs be. Like, you've got to do what
you've got to do and if you've got to make an entrance, you've
got to make a point on the point that you're arguing.
You may as well go the full throttle.
Don't think there's anything wrong with spitting in people's
gravy if you know Aunt Marjorie is going to sit down and make a
comment that is in fact racist, homophobic, sexist about gender,
world politics, etcetera, etcetera.
Why not get ahead and season her gravy before she's even sat
down? All that says to me is you're
the type of person that thinks ahead and you're a caring
person. You know, I don't see anything
wrong with adding a severe bit of fucking malice to the dinner
table. We're living in treacherous
times. We're living in times where I
don't think these days, being the respectable queer at the
table. Is getting us far.
So why not just be absolutely fucking disastrous?
So that's my advice on that. As I say, I'm not dealing with
it and I've removed, I will remove myself from situations
that now I think will cause that in my life because I just don't
want to be around it. I don't want to be around people
that are not able to think in the same way as me.
And when I talk about that and people say, well, you can't
always agree with everyone, OK, fine.
But there's a lot of things that I want to have people that
agree. Like I want to be around people
that agree with me on certain things.
And if you can't, we're just not aligned.
I don't want to be around you. Like there's certain things to
me where it's not about me having to open up spaces and
hold spaces for people where, you know, politics are concerned
or people's literal fucking lives.
That's not a place where I want to meet anyone in the middle and
be open to their opinion. I don't want to be around you.
I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to engage with you.
I think you're a fucking idiot. I think you're selfish.
I think you're stupid. I don't have anything to say to
you. I don't respect you.
I don't care if you were a friend to me for a really long
time. I don't care if you are a family
member. I don't care if it's the two
year old's christening. If you want to go there, we can
go there or shut the fuck up. And that goes for Christmas as
well. So there's just another rant
there. That's my hot take on that.
Go balls to the walls. Don't see any problem with you
bringing in their divorce but the fact they may have cheated
on their husband and or wife. Maybe they have both at the same
time. The fact that you're not sure if
the cousin that you are really close with actually belongs to
both of them. I would go straight in.
Straight in with the snipe. I just I don't think anything
could be off limits. If you're going to go there, you
may as well just go the whole hog because what it will do is 2
things. First of all, you'll be asked to
remove yourself from the table. Great.
You don't want to be around those people anyway, AB they're
probably much less likely to do it next year if you go straight
for the juggler. And that's what I've learned.
It's not easy in the moment. You can sometimes get yourself
in trouble. That does die down over time.
What doesn't die down is the sting of what you've said, and
it makes them less likely to bring it up the year after.
And if they bring it up the year after, again, more for them.
They clearly enjoyed it and want some more.
Yeah, sorry for that little rant.
I'm getting, like I say, it's not an experience I have for
myself, but I can imagine a lot of you having to deal with that.
Maybe I should just bring in a speed dial service over
Christmas. It's actually quite twisted at
how much like I'm enjoying the thought of doing that.
Like maybe the way that I spread Christmas tree is give out.
I buy myself a SIM on a burner and people ring me like what was
that British TV programme where you can phone a friend with that
angry lady? Where they go, I want to phone a
friend and then you guys are all at your dinner tables arguing
with Uncle Steven, Auntie fucking Geraldine or whatever
their name is. And you're just like, hang on,
need to phone a friend And you just phone me and put me on
loudspeaker, sit me on top the Christmas Turkey and I just
absolutely annihilate any family member you need me to.
I honestly don't think that that's a terrible, terrible idea
and maybe one that I will get in preparation for next year
because I don't think there's a way that I would probably rather
to spend my Christmas. Actually me just ducking out of
my Christmas dinner. Sorry, I'm on a phone, a friend
for like 200 lesbians across the world or however many of you
there may be, sadly, probably a lot more because I think you'll
have to deal with a lot of asshole family members.
So yeah, me going on a massive rant.
But if you do not like Christmas very much and you do find it a
difficult time for whatever reason, like if you are one of
these people listening and you've lost someone close to you
this year or you're struggling with anything for any reason, it
is such a cliche. But you really aren't alone.
And I don't think any way you feel is wrong or you should be
punishing yourself for or putting pressure on yourself to
feel a certain way. And look, I've just spoken about
this at great length and again, openly spoken about how I feel
like there's a lot of pressure and a lot of build up.
But ultimately, if you don't enjoy it, just remember that it
is just one day. And we do base a lot on it, and
that's for capitalism. And it is OK to just want it to
be over and to just think it's actually just not my favorite
time of year. Like if I could have summer
every day, I'd never have Christmas again.
I don't think that that's necessarily a terrible thing.
We just all like different stuff.
I'm talking on that. I'm now going to talk about
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and peace during what can be joyful but also demanding time
of year. I've been thinking about getting
back into therapy. I've not done it for the last
few months, which is probably not great, but I just wanted to.
I'd done it nearly weekly for 18 months and decided that I wanted
a break. And I think, again, that's
absolutely fine. I am definitely going to step
back into it in the new year because life changes all the
time and different things happen to us.
And I think it's good to revisit it always.
I think being able to have a blocked set of sessions and then
go forward with life and then when things change, you go back
and revisit and pick things up is never a failure.
Going in and out of therapy should be seen as the same as
dipping in and out of your favorite restaurant.
It's just a part of life and I think it's so valuable.
We should all prioritise it and build it into our day-to-day or
weekly. We should all build it into our
weekly plan wherever possible with with better help as well.
There's a therapist match commitment, so better help does
the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your
therapy goals, which makes it so much easier when you do first
sign up for therapy. It's a lot easier to find a
therapist and get to the right therapist so you're not feeling
like you're fatiguing yourself and having to waste time doing
all of the admin associated to getting a therapist, which is
really difficult when you are not feeling yourself and you're
feeling down and you want someone to talk to.
With over 30,000 therapists worldwide and over 5000 local UK
therapists to help. As one of the leading online
therapy platforms having served over 5 million people globally.
And it does work with an average rating of 4.9 out of five stars
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So this December, start a new tradition by taking care of you.
Our listeners get 10% off at betterhelp.com/LSC.
That's better help help.com/LSC get to therapy lesbians.
Now I'm going to move on to today's Horror Story, which I
haven't actually read through myself yet.
So we're entering this one together, but it is titled
Horror Story involving ChatGPT. And that alone has gripped me
because I think as much as Chachi PT is amazing, it's also
the devil because it's turning a lot of people that need to go to
actual therapy into what they think a therapist themselves,
which isn't great. And it's also stopping people
from being true to themselves in their behaviour or the way that
they're responding to others during engaging in somewhat
difficult conversations. And there have been a few
occasions whereby I have noticed that I have been communicating
with someone and not actually been communicating with the
person I've been communicating with ChatGPT.
And I think it's removing a lot of genuine, intentional and
emotional conversations that we should be having with people
into very removed, overly created pieces of dialect which,
although in the moment can be seen as better if used
incorrectly, is not always beneficial to either sides.
So I am interested in this. Hi lesbians, I recently broke up
with my girlfriend and found one of her post breakup responses so
scary that I hope it deters any queer person from doing the
same. Me and my ex had known each
other for about a year and after a few months of dating she
wanted a more serious commitment from me.
But at the time I was still seeing other people and wasn't
ready and I thought that we should pump the brakes on our
relationships development. Fast forward a couple of more
months and we're dating again and I finally get the nerve to
date her exclusively. We had a couple of months of
bliss and fun and then as time does tell, there became many
situations where I was realizing she just wasn't my person.
The high level is I didn't feel appreciated as a partner and
didn't feel that she was showing up for me like I was for her.
Throughout our arguments and make up sessions we learned to
communicate about our perspectives and find
understanding, which I was really proud of.
But after so many of the situations manifested the same
way, I began to realise that we just aren't meant to be each
other's partner. I unfortunately realise this
right before we had an international trip with our best
friends. Bad timing I know.
I just thought if we could make it through the trip without
drama, we could continue to make it work.
Well. An argument the night before
really set us on the right direction and if you could have
guessed it, the trip had drama. The last thing I wanted was to
break up with her during the trip, but I had such clarity as
she was hovering over me yelling negative things about me to me,
that I couldn't do this anymore and that the relationship did
not need to continue. And so with tears in my eyes, I
told her the love and care I have for her has led me to
clearly see that we are not meant for each other.
Fast forward, we are taking some space from each other before
having a scheduled in person conversation about a week later.
The day before we had a long text exchange, which I
absolutely hate doing when it's a serious or emotional dialogue
and she opted to forgo our in person conversation.
Here's the meat of the Horror Story.
The day we were supposed to meet in person, I receive an e-mail
from her. She must have schedule sent it
to me because she asked if I could read the analysis that
ChatGPT outputted for her before we got together later that day.
Oh yes, she wrote about four different moments of tension
that led up to our breakup, clearly from her perspective,
and chat broke down why I responded in the way I did,
validated for her, for her approach, and highlighted the
difference in our attachment styles.
All I could think was wow, this is such a knit that you're going
to chat instead of your friends or therapists or family for
validation. Also, anything that you put into
AI is going to be tailored to you.
How is chat really seeing both sides?
Chat mislabelled my attachment style and labeled her as secure,
which again, clearly chat isn't biased by her perspective.
I didn't respond to the e-mail and things are definitely
sitting weird with me. I've been optimistic that we'll
make it out as friends, but I don't know what's secure to do.
Peace and love and don't use AI to steer a conversation with a
significant other. Anonymous.
And yeah, exactly. This is literally what I was
saying at the start of this conversation.
And I'm so aware of this as well.
Like, I'm not going to sit here and say that I don't use ChatGPT
for certain things in my life, particularly when I have like
some even sometimes emotional questions, right?
But I think it can be super dangerous if people are using it
to seek validation for themselves and not being
entirely honest with the way that situations have unfolded
and also what part they have to play.
And I think for us lesbians who are messy anyway and then we are
using a unbiased but also extremely biased function
because this system is literally built to basically get to know
everything about us and therefore become an inbuilt best
friend without much actual real life understanding of who we
are. Is dangerous and in the wrong
hands is extremely dangerous, and I think we can all use it
for difficult conversations or if we want to say something but
don't know quite how to say it in a way that could be said
softer or we want it to be a little bit more poignant.
We can draft messages within ChatGPT and get it to help and
support us. However, if you are using
ChatGPT to navigate very difficult conversations in your
life, you need to stop doing that because you.
It is ultimately going to tell you what you want to hear.
And so I think that's dangerous for all of us.
And I also just think like as people, none of us are perfect.
And I think in a very fair applies world that we're all
living in, we are all seeking to be perfect people with perfect
responses to things. And I think whilst we can all
push ourselves to drive ourselves forward and be the
best versions of ourselves, we also need to accept that none of
us are perfect people and it is OK to have raw emotions in
moments that are a little bit messy but are very real and are
very reflective of who we are and how we feel.
So just as a little PSA there, actually use ChatGPT very wisely
because this community is already bad enough, right?
When we're having emotional, difficult conversations, it's
bad enough. We.
Don't need ChatGPT adding to that and making us even more
chaotic than what we already are if fallen into the wrong hands.
So to this person, I think that you can have a real conversation
with your ex about how ChatGPT should be used and how you would
like to engage with her as a person, rather than a version of
what she wants to say that has been cleaned via AI.
Or rather actually become more messy by doing so and request
that the conversations are kept as quote UN quote real as
possible. That's my hot take on that.
I think that's all I've got for you today, lesbians.
It's our last event of the year this evening, so that's crazy.
I actually haven't added up how many events?
So if we say on average three a month for 12 months, So what's
that? 36 + 2 in New York, 38 plus a
couple? Fucking hell, we've done like 40
odd events this year for LSE, which is insane.
Like that's like over 45,000 bodies in one room.
Like I can't even comprehend how incredible that is.
So yeah, tonight is the last LSE of the year, so I'm very much
looking forward to that. And if you're there, I hope you
have an amazing time. If you're not there because
you're somewhere else around the world, your time will come next
year and I will see you guys in the new year.
And thank you again for supporting us, supporting the
brand. We've got some really excited
things happening in 2026. Cannot wait to take you on the
journey with us. Cannot wait for lesbian
domination to become even bigger and better again. 2025 has been
amazing. 2026 is going to be even better.
I love you all. Merry Christmas.
Don't forget to cause chaos if it's necessary.
It is OK if you feel a little bit depressed.
You're not alone. We'll go into 2026, which is the
year of the horse, stronger. It's going to be bigger, it's
going to be better, and I can't wait for us to have more fun,
more lesbian visibility and more fucking chaos.
Goodbye lesbians, I love you.