Hello and welcome to episode 4 of the Lesbian Supper Club.
What a week we've had. It has been absolutely mental.
I have no idea actually what has happened, but clearly the world
needs more lesbians. But I've been telling people
that I've been saying you need more lesbians and here we are.
We've delivered. So we wanted to say again, we
said it in the last episode, but we are truly thankful to all of
the people that have supported us on this journey so far.
It has been amazing. And to do something that we love
so much has been incredible. Yeah.
And we have so much passion for it, so much drive, if any.
Like I feel a little bit gayer by doing this and that's never a
bad thing. Oh, it's a bad thing for me
because I didn't need any more ammunition.
Now I've got it so I'm borderline like it's danger
zone, so I'm keeping myself in check.
Nobody should have actually given you a microphone.
Well, they clearly should have, because we're not in the comedy
charts because of you, bitch. It's because of me, I know.
And this is what I mean. It's the ego.
The head is getting large. Not the ego, it's just the
truth. For us to have that solid
entertainment throughout the week is, is is incredible and
actually makes you feel a little bit better about the kind of
situations I've had in my life because now I'm like, OK,
lesbians really are doing something.
They're doing bits. Oh, you think you've done bad?
Like the inbox, someone's telling us we've done worse.
Yeah. So that's helping.
I mean, you're saying all of this about how we've made it
into the charts. We're still in the charts and
climbing. It's been an insane, insane
week. Yeah, all I've really given a
shit about is the fact that I can't fucking walk at the moment
because I've slipped a disc in my back.
So whilst this is, you know, I'm happy, I am happy.
I'm smiling at the moment through gritty teeth because I'm
in so much pain. So I'm probably going to be even
more of a cock on this episode than what I usually am.
Just, you know, PSA to that. It's bare with a thorn syndrome.
Like you've really. Oh yeah, everything's been
magnified by like 100% now that you've got your slip disc bit of
scoliosis. Only hot girls get scoliosis, by
the way. It's a tall girl problem,
generally. Yeah, it's a hot girl problem.
We are scarlet. And Freya.
And The thing is, is that people always think that you're
actually Freya. I've had loads of comments.
So, so highly offensive. Lovely.
They go, they they see the videos and they're like, oh,
funny that I thought your name was Freya and I was Scarlet.
So yeah, so Freya's the blonde one with short hair.
Scarlett is the brunette with long hair.
We are a lesbian couple who have been together for the last
nearly five years. Which is 500 years in lesbian
years by the way, just to let you guys know if you didn't
already. Yeah, and we've mentioned this
before. We basically got so bored in our
relationship, we were like, how can we spice things up?
Instead of breaking up, let's start a podcast.
That's a lie. I'm joking.
This was, this was option B. Yeah.
Either we're either we're breaking up, the house is gone,
the dog's gone. That was no, because I feel like
this we give each other. I love you so yeah, I love you
too. I love you a lot.
And oh, I know she absolutely hates it.
But The thing is that we wouldn't, we wouldn't be able to
do this with one another if we didn't have a hell of a lot of
respect and love for one another.
So. And a lot of a lot of patience,
a lot of fucking patience on your behalf.
I don't need patience really. Oh no, I mean.
Oh yeah, yeah, no, that was a compliment.
I'm not used to that. I thought you were going
straight in for like, but we kind of wanted to talk about
just like start this off because this past like couple of weeks
there's been some bad LGBTQ plus news and there's been some good
LGBTQ plus news. First of all, the cancellation
of our Generation Q, This is just another one of many shows.
We're talking A League of Their Own, where they're giving us a
pity for episode season next because they don't want lesbians
to start rioting and burning down houses, which we probably
still will. We've got the Wilds, which did
incredibly well on our side, cancelled.
That's yeah, because they bought in a load of men and they made
it shit. But before it was like all women
and lesbians and it did incredibly well.
And so now for L Word Generation Q.
Obviously there's more than that, but now for L Word
Generation Q to be finished when it is, you know we're talking
about a hell of a load of diversity in that lesbian
culture, lesbian life that had a big following and now is being
scrapped. However, apparently Eileen is.
Eileen Shaiken, who did the original L Word, is looking to
relaunch another L Word with the original characters, which is
good news. Which is amazing, but it still
doesn't detract from the fact like what the fuck is happening
in the media? Why we it really does feel like
we're going backwards at the moment.
It truly, truly does. It feels like we are less
progressive actually now than we were 10 years ago.
Because as much as more things are coming out like us, for
example, this podcast is coming out it it's getting pulled and
it's getting shit on and it's getting cancelled.
Like, you know, again, what's happening in America with people
trying to hide their children from drag shows?
Oh my, grow the fuck up. Like hide.
Them from the fucking church. Yeah.
Literally, you know what I mean. Oh my God, I've I've actually
got an amazing church. Sorry from my local church had
you. Was it a pedo?
Yeah, knew it. Yeah, yeah, but like no, no, oh,
don't. Why am I like bad?
OK, I'm I'm smiling not because I find it atomic smile.
Sorry, no, it's out of smugness. Yeah, because I'm like you
fuckers make out as if the LGBTQ plus community that's.
What I mean is. Dangerous.
And it's you fucking lot. You're looking in the mirror.
You're trying to use us to hide your own fucking perverted ways,
you bastards, you little. Dirty buggers.
You fucking dirty old bastards. That's what my nut, sorry to
detract. I really shouldn't be, but this
it just like all of this is slightly a generational problem
as well, right? And like my Nan, love her to
pieces and she, you know, she's very, very inclusive.
She's the type of person that anyone could knock on her door.
She'd have them in tea, coffee and biscuits.
But also sometimes the shit that comes out of her mouth because
of they've just kind of been conditioned for so long they
don't even realise. When we found out one of our
local vicars was a paedophile, there were twins, right?
One was good, one was bad. So it was like good, bad, good
twin, evil twin. She went, oh, isn't it a shame?
Now he's got to go prison. Now, of course, he's gotta go to
fucking prison, Nan, He's been fucking.
Why did she say? That always, always old.
It doesn't matter. Fucking brilliant.
Let him rock and we. All.
Were just like Oh yeah but he's old now.
Nan, babe, Hun, he's still a pedo.
So yeah, I don't know what's going on in the media right now
with. Yeah, I know for a fact that if
I had children, I would much rather take them to rule
RuPaul's Drag Race then take them to Sunday school. 100% they
learn more. Yeah, they learn how to slap
drop any quiz show, any drag show.
There's this guy that I follow that is incredible and I can't
actually remember his name, but he's on TikTok and he basically
will print screen all of the comments from these horrendous
men and then we'll like name and shame them.
Yeah. And it's like, dude, what?
What is going on? And then so all of this is going
on, yet they will focus on anti trans rights, anti drag Queens.
And I'm like, you are pointing in the complete wrong direction.
You have no idea. Well, you do know the threat,
but you're focusing on the threat that there actually is.
How about America sorts out their fucking gun laws before
they do anything else, You know, just sort out your gun laws and
then and then but you again, like these comments that you're
referencing. I will know for an absolute
fact, and I will put this down on this podcast.
Not a single one of those comments will be from a drag
queen or drag queen fact. No, I don't even need to look at
them to know that that will be the case.
Yeah. So yeah, this is bullshit, but
we're coming back. Absolute fucking bullshit, but
that's why we love doing what we do.
We ain't being cancelled, believe me.
I'll do anything. There's no fucker that can
cancel us actually, because we're just doing this off our
own back with all of our legendary friends.
You can't take this from us. And you're never loud.
And take you're never taking this from us.
Believe me, Believe me, we. Came across a video by this
trans woman called Lily who is incredible by the way, and we've
recently discovered her. And we're going to tag her in in
the, you know, in the bio of of this podcast.
And also we will be shouting her out on the lesbian Supper club
pod because Lily also has a podcast podcast which hands up,
I haven't listened to yet because this literally came to
light this morning. We hadn't planned to mention
this on this podcast, but we'll be paying to light.
And we found it so poignant that we were like, we have to talk
about this and we have to shed light on this because it's
absolutely fucking horrific. And I want to say that I'm
shocked and appalled, and I'm definitely appalled, but I'm not
shocked. And this is the sad thing about
this story. So basically this came up on my
Instagram this morning and it was a video that Lily had posted
herself and she was sat in a restaurant in America innocently
eating a meal with her dog. The very fucking cute dog by
the. Way very cute dog and I think
again, I really don't know too much about this person because
we've not had the chance to really look into what Lily does
etcetera but I think she you know, works in kind of social
media influencing doing the podcast, etcetera.
So I assume was naturally just recording herself as part of her
content and out of nowhere some woman, I'm assuming this
person's a woman, she probably she's got to identify as a woman
because if you identify well. She's not going to be.
She's not going to be the way that she is.
She is a woman. Yeah.
And she came, she came up to Lily and just out of nowhere
wanted to spread hate. Hate crime.
Hate crime whilst Lily is just sat there eating her meal like
anyone else would like to do and this woman takes it upon herself
to literally just yell across the restaurant.
Well, she started off by basically saying she was a.
Turf, yeah. Turf, yeah.
Which is a trans exclusionary radical feminist.
And I, before coming on here to talk about this today, wanted to
make sure that I, you know, was 100% informed of this before I
came on here. And basically all that needs to
be as a description under Wikipedia for a turf is I am a
cunt. Like that's all you need to say,
You know, there's, there's paragraphs.
It's really fucking stupid. I am a bigoted little cunt.
Done. Finished.
So we need to know. Yeah, there.
There really is nothing else. You know what?
Makes me laugh so much though, is that not laugh, but like
laugh at a fury is that this woman comes in and she's like,
well, you can be who you want to be and I'm a turf, but it's
like, but it's like, yeah, well, we you you don't have to fucking
shout that you're a twat, that you're a bigot.
I don't understand why you're you're putting the same box as a
trans person because they're like, well, I identify as a
twat. They don't even say twat.
Do they say twat? Yeah.
Anyway, she was. That really enraged me though
because I was sat there watching this and you think how fucking
demoralising and how embarrassing for that woman as
well though Gives you her. You're embarrassing.
And you know, I've been thinking about this all morning and I've
been thinking about why people hate crime people and why people
are hateful towards people. And I think it's two things.
It's a you are just born a fucking piece of shit, and I
don't care what good you've done for society.
If you are speaking I'll of people like you know, like that
of any kind of what you would class as different from
yourself. You are a piece of shit.
And I also think it comes down to you're just thick as actual.
Fuck. Because the annoying thing about
bigots, right? And homophobes and transphobes
and racists is I have tried multiple times.
I mean, I've nearly given myself about four fucking heart
attacks. I've had a brain haemorrhage and
I swear it's because of bigots because I've wound myself up so
fucking much. A blood vessel in my brain just
gone. Yeah, bye.
Is that you can't argue with thick.
And this is what is so annoying, right?
I have actually had interesting conversations with people before
who have been transphobic or racist or, you know, homophobic,
and I've been able to sit down with them.
And I shouldn't have to do this. No one should have to do this.
It's really. Not by the way, just PSA.
We shouldn't have to fucking educate.
No, we shouldn't. No.
But sometimes I take the take the time to do it because I get
so enraged. I cannot help myself, I cannot
stop myself. And I have very, very rarely had
people turn around and go, I'll hold my hands up.
Do you know what? I was wrong.
I shouldn't have to have fucking educated you.
But it's, you know, I've changed someone.
But 99.9% of the time you can't even have a conversation with
these people because they're just so fucking stupid.
Bottom of the barrel fucking scraping it right down there, do
you know? What put them all on a boat?
Put them in an island. With a work with an engine that
doesn't work and fucking get in a speedboat and drive off.
Women in an island with no food or water because none of them
will be smart enough to be able to figure out how to eat or
drink. True, and then they'll just
fucking die. 5 Live the fittest at the end of the day.
But yeah, I mean, that is horrendous.
And we definitely want to speak more about this when when we can
have our trans friends on board as well.
Like you said, we want to be able to have that voice from
them because it's not a lived experience for us.
But just coming from the lesbians, we, you know, we
obviously love you, support trans people and trans rights on
the lighter side of RGBTQ plus news.
So on the other end, we've got Anne Hathaway and Mckayla Cole
have just been announced to be in a lesbian.
I think it's like a drama or like a film that they're coming
out with. I am so excited.
So am I, but if it's another queer bait I'm going to be
pissed. The.
Right. No, I don't think it is because
because they have an outset that you know, it is going to be kind
of like centralised around that and they are both massive LGBTQ
plus advocates and feminists, which is.
Very important. Really, really well.
First of all, I can't wait to see it because they're both hot.
Secondly, I and this is contrary to what some people might think,
so I kind of want to put this out there.
I think it's good and I think it's a positive for straight or
at least straight ish celebrities, actors, etcetera to
be playing queer roles. The reason behind this is
because I think that it gives so much more exposure to so many
other people out there that aren't exclusively in that
community that would watch it. Right.
So your bigoted uncle fucking aunt is going to actually
stumble across this because they love Anne Hathaway and they
might want to watch it and it's encouraging to see some of that.
They already like portraying this character.
And it does. And I don't want to say brave.
It's not, it's not brave. It's not brave, but back in the
day they wouldn't have had a straight person playing a gay
role because they'd be like, oh, this might ruin my career
because I'm playing a queer character and there's so many
homophobes. And I think what else is also
really good about this is that like it is, it's subliminally
educating people, right? Because it's like you say, you
mentioned these two amazing A list actresses.
They will have a lot of followers and a lot of fans who
are bigoted twats and they are so stupid that they'll be like,
well, if my idol does it, I'll like it, do you know what I
mean? And be like.
I'm going to scissor tomorrow. I'm going to give it a good go.
I've never been gay, but I'm now because Anne is.
Good old Anne Hathaway. No, but this is the thing like I
think that is the good side and this is what I feel like can
really like you said educate in in not a so explicit way because
they will fall upon it a little bit more because it is going to
have more of a profile behind it as well.
Obviously the whole point is that we should have a lot more a
list celebrities which do identify as gay, pansexual,
bisexual, are transgender, are non binary.
The point is, we should already be at a point that.
We have those balls that can just play that.
Role because they are queer and they're playing queer roles.
Sadly, we are not at that point. We will get there one day, but.
Also, you know, if straight people can play queer roles,
queer people can play straight. It shouldn't be exclusive on
either way, on I'm sorry on either side, But we do have a
pitiful small amount of the queer community.
Yeah, we do in high paid roles throughout any single industry.
Can I just say, though, they're not out?
No, there are a lot of them out there that are a list who are
queer or identify somewhere on that.
But that's. Problematic in itself, right?
So this episode we actually really wanted to delve into
heartbreak. Because specifically lesbian
there is nothing I don't care about other heart.
No no no. My straight friends break up
with their boyfriends and I'm like oh God that's so sad and
I'm literally like fucking. Yes, there is nothing sad or
more desperate and demoralising than lesbian heartbreak.
I mean I trauma, I can speak on a first hand experience the
horrendous experience that I have actually had through
breakups. And particularly, I mean, all
lesbian heartbreak is bad, but your first lesbian heartbreak,
if you're bouncing back from that shit, you're fucking
bouncing back from anything in this life.
You're. Going to survive in apocalypse.
I truly, truly believe that if you are recovering from a
lesbian breakup, you you, you are Jesus.
I actually almost put myself into rehab.
Not even, but not even for alcohol.
Like literally just to be on a fucking ward.
Just to be like, yeah, straight jacket me because.
Yeah, literally. No, I actually.
Do yeah, I was so. Upset that they were like, do
you want to stay here? When I saw my psychiatrist and I
was like maybe I might have to. Yeah, I mean.
We, I mean, I got over it like it was actually like 10:00 PM
that night. I was like.
We talk kind, we talk kindly on this podcast, but I think we've
mentioned potentially before, and we will go into this in the
future as well, about kind of the phases of lesbian
relationships and why we think so many of them don't reach year
2. And there was a point of during
mine and Fraser's relationship where we just weren't getting
on. And, you know.
We 14 month mark. Yeah, fourteen, 14th to 16th
month mark and we were both having these thoughts
separately, but too scared to kind of talk about them to each
other. But it was playing on my mind
where I was like, I know that Freya will be so feral if I walk
away. Yeah, it would have been.
It is keeping me here a bit like.
I would. I'm like the fucking Tasmanian
devil can't try and break up with me and I start spinning
around. And guys, by the way, I'm not, I
want, I don't want to do you. I don't want to do you dirty
here. Not in a toxic way, but in a
kick a puppy kind of way, You know what I mean?
Like. What does she?
Can mean because you don't, because you're so lovable that
it would be like, I'd be like Freya.
No, And you. But I'm not taking that for an
answer. Yeah.
And you just keep coming back. And then I'd have to get more
and more fierce. I'm taking the dog and you do
brilliant we. Call it like Dicky, basically.
So it's a Somerset euthanism. Like when someone's being stupid
for no reason, We'll be out. You're having a dicky on just to
educate people on Somerset. I do have a right?
Dicky and I say to Freya the time I'd be like, you would be
so Dicky because she'd be like, I know it.
Yeah, but you know what makes it worse is that?
Like I just die of starvation. You would die of starvation, but
before that, like you, you act very like sullen, like there's
no emotion that goes on there. OK, so that for someone like me
is so much worse because then I'm like, why the fuck aren't
you crying? I'm literally like shitting
myself in the corner out of pure desperation and sadness, and
you're just sat there like, yeah, on your phone.
And that my childhood experiences have made me shut
off in high. Stress situation, I totally get
it. But when you're in the situation
on the other side, you're like, I'm gonna literally smash my
head against. The wall, OK, but we're not,
we're not talking about, we're not talking about the breaker.
But leading on from like why? I'm actually like this I believe
is because of past experiences from those heart breaks.
So it's almost like a muscle memory of like, I remember how
bad it was and specific things that really like triggered me
into, into acting the way that I did with you, if that makes
sense. So like if I'd see like an inch
of a similar personality trait within like a kind of like
argument situation linked to a previous breakup.
I then suddenly I'm like, you don't love me.
You want to leave me. You're getting in your car right
now. That means that you're never
coming back. Which is why I think.
Whereas you're like, I'm just getting myself some space.
Yes, which is fine. Yeah.
And and This is why I think that we struggled a lot more at the
start and now our communication is so good.
This this. That doesn't happen.
It doesn't. Happen anymore because we have
both had to unlearn the behaviours and those knee jerk
reactions from our previous relationships.
For whatever reason. I wouldn't be able to say shit
about you, which is really amazing because I do love you so
much and it but I'm trying to think.
I know you've probably got some stuff you can say about me.
Oh, you do. Oh, you do.
Oh baby, you do. Do I?
Do you not know how bad my memory is?
Oh, that is that works in my favourite.
It does work very well in your My memory is so bad that I
watched Jenny's wedding the other day just to trigger my
memory of my own coming out story because I actually forgot
how bad it was and then I'm sat there watching Jenny's wedding.
She was crying in bed. Film, literally crying,
blubbing. Yeah, you need therapy, but we
can't afford it right now. Yeah, we do need that.
This is my therapy. So, Freya, we're digressing
massively. Please tell me about your first
lesbian well. Well, one of them was a bad one.
Lesbian heartbreak and the one that pained you.
I think the one that pained me the most.
So I'm not going to like mention like the situation really, but I
think for me, the worst thing is when you feel completely
helpless and you cannot have a voice in the situation.
So when you are in this situation, I was really deeply,
painfully in love with this woman girl at the time, I'd say.
And I so desperately wanted to kind of get my point across, but
what happens is, and I feel like this happens in lesbian
relationships specifically. Maybe not.
Maybe it could actually be actually, no, I think this is
general. There was usually one person
that is in the power in this situation, right?
I was not the person in this power in this situation.
So I was in a really, really bad way.
And it made me really desperate. I think that for me because I
thought I planned out so many things with this person and I
had a life with them and my whole life actually.
And again, this happens in like very extreme lesbian
relationships. This doesn't, I don't think this
is the same in our situation, but like in my situation, it was
like my whole life revolved around her.
So all of my friends ohh, no, this or something, or you know,
I, I, I, I just, I centralised her in my life, right?
So when? No, can I?
Sorry, I just really wanna cut you there because actually I was
going to say this myself. Is that one of the reasons why I
think lesbian breakups are harder is because we do often
merge. We become best friends and all
of our friends became become the same best friends.
And I think in heterosexual relationships you usually
maintain different friendship groups, right?
So that's one thing they're. Like I'm going out with the.
Girls yeah, so that makes it even harder.
But the one thing I'll say in your situation here, because
obviously I know about this because we're together, I'm not
going to pretend that I don't, is not only were your
friendships may be the same, you cut off a lot of your life.
You were so focused on this person.
This isn't actually this persons fault because you should have
stood up and said no. I'm prioritising.
Myself, I'm still I'm not blaming you've.
Cut off lots of different avenues for yourself outside of
this person. Sorry, I just wanted to make
that clear. No, no, that's very, that's very
clear and clear. Like I, I honestly when I say
that like I can't remember the whole thing because it went on
for months, right? Of like there was a lot of
blocking, unblocking on her behalf, which if you're doing
this to someone right now. You fucking stop and grow up.
It's so fucking immature. Like it was so horrific because
it came out of nowhere as well. It wasn't like.
Although I say that there's been times being very valid
arguments, I've turned off my fine friends.
Oh. So I'm jokes on you bitch,
because I've got your iCloud password.
I'm of, yeah. So I can log right in and see
her location. There was no rhyme or reason to
the blocking part, right? So initially the blocking was
like, I'm cutting you out, that's it, you're blocked.
OK, totally get that. Then you unblock me, you say a
load of stuff, you say oh I still love you, I still miss you
and then block out nowhere. And then I will be waiting for
by my phone for like 2 weeks. Suddenly there's a call, you've
unblocked me again. And because and this went on so
many times, I can't even count how many.
Times it's a massive head fuck. The biggest head fuck I've ever
been through in my life and I was so desperate because I loved
this person so much that I was like this might be wrong but I
love you so much and now this like adrenaline high that I'm
going every time you call me it's like a reward It's like oh
here's some dopamine it's. The emotional high and low
isn't. It that's what's in the high and
back the. Highs are so good.
Because the lows are so low. Yeah.
And so then I was like, Oh my fucking God.
She's called. I will literally get in my car
right now and I'll drive and I'll do anything and I'll shove
my finger up my ass and I'll do, you know what I mean?
And it's like I, I actually, I'm, I'm that type of person
that would get so fucking like Dicky, like you say, I'll shove
a remote up my ass because I don't know what else to do.
Like I just get so wound up and like in this situation and it
and it it does take time because.
You think it's? Got to reaching your brain.
In it because Freya's not exaggerating when she says this.
Like has anyone ever watched those vines where like the kids
would be up and just go fucking stupid?
This is Freya so like once I was at her house and she was having
an argument with her mum. This is so good.
Can we just say that I'd had some lorazepam the day before
and. My mum had given it.
Because I had a really bad panic attack on that day.
So then the next day I was like a calm down on the Azipam which
made me. Crazy.
Yeah. And the Valium Freya usually
takes as diazepam and lorazepam is different, strong.
So she's arguing with her mum and she gets so angry.
She's like, right, we're going out to what?
The dog? She didn't say like this.
I'm saying a lot more calmly. I was like, I'm like, OK, cool,
let's get the dog and go out. And we walk outside at Freya's
house and there's like a green, like just like a garden green.
And there's a tree, right? And right here is so angry.
She, you know, the kid that's like.
It does all that. She put the basketball.
A stick, like a massive plan, can win and starts whacking this
tree. Is that a bit pure rage?
It's just acting so fucking I've never seen anything.
Like I've actually never seen Scarlet last I was actually
she's getting. So ridiculous.
It was fine. She's like and like literally
just fucking throw it. And by the way, like there's a
row of houses, so all of the neighbours.
She was 26 at the time. I was watching her own 96, her
own adult battering a tree with a piece of wood like an actual
fucking child. The woman.
Walked past and she was like, you look like you needed that.
I fucking did alright. And then, but then I also, I'm
one of those people that will like have a rage like that and
then suddenly I'm like, OK, I'm fine now.
Yeah, and she'll come off the ledge so quickly.
That's why sometimes like we're arguing, she'll be on when I'll
be like, I'll see you in 5 minutes for her and just see you
in 5 babe and then. She'll come in.
She'll usually then come in with food and be like, I'm sorry.
And then we just move on, sorry, go back.
I had to tell that. It's quite funny, this whole.
Fucking tree. Sticking tree baby.
But yeah, no, I but yeah. So can I just say actually I
didn't act so erratically like when we'd like meet up, it would
just be me sobbing like a little baby.
I was also coming off no sertraline and if anyone's ever
been on sertraline, you'll know that you feel really numb when
you're on this drug, on this antidepressant.
So you'll feel really, really numb.
You'll only ever, I could only ever process anger, which was
actually one of the reasons why we kind of like split up because
I had no emotions, like no sadness, no nothing.
It was awful and it felt terrible because it's like
nobody likes to feel anger. It's horrible feeling and like
nobody likes to not be able to cry or have any kind of emotion.
So I took it upon myself to take myself off it in the aid of the
relationship and then coming off it whilst going through that
breakup, I've never cried so much like when I say just ugly
tears. You know when you're like
driving and you're like, what if I just.
Actually truly feel so sorry for your mum and all your family at.
This .0 is in like I would wake up, I'd go downstairs, I'd have
a like a shitty roll up cigarette, a black coffee and
just be sat there crying like it's in streams at like 6:00 AM
because I had a shitty cafe job at the same time as well.
I get to that cafe job and I'd be working at the dishwasher and
just be sobbing at like any given moment.
It was, it was ridiculous. But I think if you've ever
experienced heartbreak like that, my God I feel you.
And if you're going through it right now, please actually DM me
because I will offer free. But going back to the specifics
on dish with lesbians as well, and we've been talking about
this a lot recently, right? Heterosexual relationships, we
meant, we said last week, they're not easier.
They're not harder. They are easier for the reason
that they already have a script, right?
So heterosexual relationships, you see it in the media, you see
it in books, it's everywhere. So you already have a almost
guide might not be a good one, but you have some kind of guide
of how to deal with things in your life like breakups, like
first dates, etcetera, etcetera, which we don't have, which is
why I think our behaviour is so fucking rogue sometimes because
we don't have that core like thing that's just been taught
literally from the middle. But I also.
Actually think that it's really good because we can rewrite, but
there's. Scenarios where there are like
this one you've. Got no guide?
So you, for example, when you talk about you had nothing
beyond this person, you didn't at this point.
Like when we met, I remember thinking this person is amazing
and she has so much potential and she's so talented in
multiple ways, but she has based herself on pleasing other people
so much that you have nothing to fall back on.
Which is why I even though I loved you so much and I wanted
to be with you, I was like if me and this person don't even work
out, I want to create this person a foundation that even
if. We fucking charity.
Or what? You were my charity.
And you've done your bit for society.
Do you know what all you Jesus lovers say?
I'm not going to fucking heaven because I'm gay.
I'm going to heaven because the work I've done for this bitch.
You took me from. And the amount of money I've and
the amount of money I've donated to dog charities, Trust me, I'm
going to heaven. If she's there, I'm fucking
going. I've I've got a golden ticket.
I actually do because you can. Do no right now.
I've done a lot of charity work. You're not the only one.
You had no guide and it was just not OK for you.
I think honestly, sometimes when you're in heartbreak, you can't
see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Like, as cliche as that sounds, you can't see a world that you
will live and experience in without feeling that amount of
pain. But.
And because lesbians make so much.
But can I just say one thing if somebody, and this especially
goes for lesbian relationships as well if she doesn't want to
fucking be with you. Right fucking go.
Let her go because actually it's like, why on I look back at it
and I why the fuck did I waste my time on someone who didn't
even want to be in the same fucking room as me?
That is actually embarrassing on me.
It's not. Embarrassing.
But no. No, but it's but it's take
control. Take control.
It's like they don't want to be with you.
That's their problem. That's their loss.
Oh my. Oh my God.
Like why was I worrying? These again, but these
experiences are just all a learning curve.
They are, and it's growing. You have it's growing pains that
you will go for it. Everyone will make the mistake.
Just make it once. Fine, make it again.
You're a fucking idiot. And I'd love to hear because you
you've got something. And I say this because
heartbreak, my heartbreak story is like one person, but multiple
heart breaks within that because we broke up so many times and
the relationship was very up and down and tumultuous.
This person had a, you know, the person I was in a relationship
had a massive hold on me. And I only see it now because
I'm older and it was my first gay relationship.
And I just, I was just young and, you know, in love with this
person and wasn't thinking about what was right or wrong, was
just letting this person dictate my whole life.
So we went through, we got together and then randomly four
months later she was like I don't want to be of you anymore
whilst I was at my cleaning job. Thank you, babe.
And I was just crying in a in a Tesco's car park did it?
Just come out of nowhere was that.
Pretty much, yeah. Just like I don't think that
we're right for each other, even though everything was fine.
And then I was crying into a prawn sandwich in a Tesco's car.
Park Prawn sandwich is the most rookie fucking sandwich that you
fuck the fuck off. I love prawn.
Sandwiches from Tesco, especially the healthy living
ones. I have had one before though
that was and we won't talk about that but generally I do love a
prawn sandwich from Tesco. You imagine crying over a prawn
sandwich, that is. Not over it into it.
And my tears were adding extra salt that the housing living
option was not fucking giving me.
OK, I remember that vividly. Then I was begging her to take
me back. So again, similar thing.
I was like, well, I've got AT shirt of yours so I have to come
and see you. Not a soccer T-shirt.
So took up the T-shirt, begged for a bat, got back together.
This was I say this was the time of Snapchat, but I know all the
Gen Z's are using Snapchat again now.
So like this? Is when it fucking launched and
people were using it yeah, the dog emoji or whatever the.
Hell, so dog Philtre we got back together, we were driving in the
car together and I was I saw a notification come up and I was
like, don't recognise that name, knew all this person's friends
straight away. This person, for someone who
lied so chronically, was the one of the worst lies I've ever met
in my whole life. She gave away in a second.
So I was like right, well we're on the M5 so if you don't tell
me who the fuck this is right now I will pull over on the hard
shoulder. It was dark and it was raining.
You can get out my car. I'm so sure enough she fessed
up. She had gone to London over
weekend, which I wasn't aware of because she was living in Bath
at the time. Gone to a club, met a girl, made
out with the girl and instead of coming clean then just dumped
me. So that was break up number one
that we got through. Classic.
Well, we didn't get through. I just took her back.
And then there was like multiple other times that similar things
have. Happened.
You know what? No, no.
Do you know what makes that worse?
So it is not so much the fact. Yeah, it's about shoot, right?
But she was obviously planning on doing that because she didn't
even tell you that she was going to London.
No, I had no idea. Yeah, it was worse.
Again, it's not like I was like, Oh yeah, I'm going out tonight.
Do you know whoops I made out with someone like I from the get
go was like, you're not gonna know.
I was always. It was it was the the plan was
there. She's been speaking to Do you
know what? Was what, 100% I But I saw that
girl about six years later, a monkey.
She didn't know who I was, but I knew she was.
And I thought, do I shove this coat?
Hang her up your ass. And then I decided.
Against it if I do anything. Wrong.
She didn't. It's never actually the other
girls, No. It's your axe.
You know what was worse about that situation though is I I'd
given her the money to go to London.
She was like I have no money because she was at uni and I was
working because I didn't go to university.
I actually just didn't have the privilege to go.
Which is hilarious because she was in union with more privilege
and didn't have the money and I gave it to her whilst I was
working a cleaning job lol. And so I gave her the money to
go and finger another girl. Love it.
She didn't even. But I can't even fucking be
there to join in. She didn't even give me the
opportunity, which is a hate crime, so.
Do you know how much she would have literally have shaved off
all your hair at the time of a threesome if that situation ever
came? Like, not everyone is built for
a threesome. Let's just put that out there
that. Would.
Oh no, I did have a foursome of that.
Remember I did, yeah. But she started crying midway
through and went to the bathroom.
That was weird. That ain't.
Sexy at all? That would be the way to.
About an open relationship, Polly kind of.
That was breakup #1 gave her cash to go and finger another
girl in London. Breakup.
Do you know? There's so many I can't even
remember but I will skip because you know, we've taken so much
fucking time already. Yeah, the main the main bit of
your heartbreak. What was the?
It actually I took her back after this, but it was
definitely the beginning of the end was one night.
We lived in separate locations and she was like, I am not in a
good mental space. She did really suffer with her
mental health, which you know, have a lot of empathy and
compassion for because so do I, so do a lot of us, but don't use
it as an excuse to be a cunt. I'm just going to put that out
there. She was like, I am having a
really terrible time. So I'm just going to stay at
home, relax and like be on my own basically.
Like I'm not really going to be on my phone, not really going to
contact you. Even though she'd already
cheated on me like 3 times before this.
I was like, yeah. No.
Worries you carry on my Do you want a?
Cash flash riot. Yeah, do a favour.
Anyway, time had passed and I just really hadn't heard from
her, so I was panicking. I was really.
Panicking. I'm worried about her.
Genuinely I was like like her mental health isn't good so I'm
really concerned. So it'd been going on for a few
hours and couldn't get couldn't, didn't hear from her, didn't
know where she was, didn't know what she was doing.
So I ended up getting really desperate and messaging her
sister and saying, look, can you just let me know if she's in the
house and she's OK because I'm truly really worried.
And she was like, oh, mum dropped her at the train station
a few hours ago. So I'm oh, for fuck sake.
And I just say we had made friends with a couple of
lesbians six months prior to this.
And my girlfriend at the time and one of these girls were
basically fucking in front of my eyes.
Like they'd basically be fucking in front of my eyes.
And I just didn't do anything about it.
And so her sister was like, you. Yeah.
Mum dropped her at the train station, so I'm like, I know
where this bitch has gone because this other guy lived in
Essex. So I'm like, I know she's in
fucking Essex. I know she's in the pair on
Southend on Sea right now and I probably know what she's doing.
Still couldn't get hold of her for hours.
So we mentioned in the last episode like lesbian detectives,
like any good lesbian detective would do, I guess.
The password to her Instagram within two tries.
Two straight in there, straight in.
Cheating cunt one O 1 exclamation mark.
Yeah, literally, I'm a wanker. Logged in to think.
What I was going to find was, you know, a way to contact like
someone in her friendship group or something, like find a number
because I didn't have any of her friendship group numbers.
So just someone else to try and get hold of that.
Oh, what I found was a lot more than that.
So not only did I know at this point she had gone to Essex to
hang out and sleep with another girl behind my back who was
meant to be my friend. No, no, no, this gets worse.
I logged into the Instagram unread messages from someone of
an Instagram name that I'd never recognised before.
I opened the messages to discover this bitch.
And you are a bitch. You're like, I don't even care.
I've had two margaritas. So I wouldn't have said this at
the start of the episode, but I'll say it now.
Two year emotional relationship with someone in America.
And do you? Do you know what?
An emotional. I'm going to do.
You know what? I'm going to offend so many
people now, and I don't give a fuck.
Do you know what offended me so much about this?
Do you know what they bonded over the most?
Harry Potter. Oh.
No. Not only was she cheating on me,
they're emotional. She's not only is she cheating
on you, she's a fucking loser. She.
Was like, I'm Slytherin and you're Gryffindor, I'm
Hufflepuff I. Want to slithering your pussy?
What a fucking daughter. That was like the biggest Dick
ever. Like that would have sent me
wrong. I'm pretty sure fucking have
her. Honestly.
I'm. Pretty sure the first message I
found was the girl in America had taken a photo of a Harry
Potter book stand and was like thinking of you.
Did it have like what's it called?
Like a golden snitch? I bet it was a golden snitch.
Fucking. What are they called?
She's a golden. Yeah, I opened these Instagram
messages to find they had this. I mean, I'm sure I, I assume it
was online. They may, she may have come to
the UK at some point and I didn't know because trust me, I
wouldn't have fucking known because she was, she was
Slytherin. I, I genuinely, I listen to this
and I think, my God, did you dodge a bullet?
Jesus Christ, don't I know that now?
Did she cook for you every night like I do?
Oh, she did, but it wasn't on the same.
No, I know the same level. Yeah.
So it was so highly offensive that I was, you know, replaced
by Harry Potter chat, although. Shit, must you have been?
To be fair, I was going to say that like it was my first
lesbian relationship. I definitely was not perfect.
I think I was quite emotionally shut off because even though I
was fully out and I didn't really have a traumatic coming
out experience or anything like that, I do think I probably
still had a lot of internalised homophobia.
A. While to navigate and I also
felt like when your frontal lobe cortex is not.
Yes. So I think emotionally I was not
in the same place as this person, and that person probably
needed a little bit more emotionally for me.
I'm not making excuses because you're a piece of shit for what
you've done. Yeah.
And also then when we were both more mature, like, you still
fucked my best friend. So, you know, I'm not, I'm
really not making excuses, but I, I can understand to a certain
degree why. But how did you feel?
That's what we want to talk about.
Like, so this is something, right?
So that was the beginning of the end.
And then we kind of did break up for ages and then we actually
got back together for like another eight months after.
But the relationship was just. It was.
Was this a separate Beds in Bali moment?
No. Oh, that was another red flag.
That was actually before the Harry Potter.
Well, because she was trying to text her.
And yeah, she was texting Harry Potter, yeah, which I obviously
didn't know at the time. She'd insist on us having
separate beds when we were travelling and who?
Does that in a relationship. They're like, yeah, perfect, but
we'll have two separate beds. Literally 8 months after and
I'm, I was still quite in, I was still, I was definitely still
attached emotionally for sure. But the relationship was, was
dead. Yeah.
And then one day we met up on Oxford Street and like, it was
just, it was right. I remember it so well.
And it was raining and it was so dead.
And we were, we were both like, yeah, this is like, this is just
so done. And that hit me really hard
because there was no like. Reason at that point and that's.
Yeah, it was just, we both knew it was just done right and that
was really hard. And then I, I went into real
denial for a good a few weeks. So I was fine.
I cried on the day really badly. And I was like, this is awful.
I don't want to leave. I don't want to walk away from
your apartment because I'm so upset that I know when I shut
the door, it's done. And then when I did shut the
door, I pulled myself together quite quickly.
But I think emotionally that took me about a good year, a
year and a half to truly recover from.
And the biggest mistake I made was I went into something else
after thinking I was over it. You know, it wasn't like I was
intentionally rushing to get another girlfriend because I
wasn't. But I did end up getting another
girlfriend and that was a labour of love and its own separate
kind of right. I definitely was traumatised by
that. But one thing I will say because
it's been really quite sleep and I know how hard it is that if
you're going through this right now or if you know you do go in
the future, you go through it in the past, you'll be able to
relate to this. I will never forget there was 1
morning where I just woke up and you almost get so comfortable in
your pain that you just expect to feel pain all the time.
And I remember there was one day that I woke up and I expected
for that that thing to hit me in my stomach and to hit me in my
heart and to feel upset and awful.
When you listen to like a certain song or something you
inspected like all your fucking eyes, I.
Just have to pull, like pull myself through another day.
And it was such an incredible feeling because I woke up and I
was like, I'm OK. Yeah, Oh my God, I feel OK.
And it was the most, it was actually sad in a way, because
then you get so almost attached to your heartbreak because it's
still a part of the love for the person, right?
And also. We're both such creature of
habits. I feel like that just becomes
part of the. Reason of the habit. 11 AM Cry.
And then I woke up and I didn't feel like that anymore and I was
like, I can get up and face the day and feel fine.
I feel OK. And that was the most, and it
took me a long time to get there.
So if you're going through it and, you know, lesbian
relationships, they are literally your best friend.
They're very intense. When you're in a lesbian
relationship, it is so intense. It's so full on.
It's so everything that when that goes, it's almost like, you
know when you've got like an extractor fan on in your cooking
and it's so fucking loud and you're cooking and then you
suddenly turn it off and you didn't realise how loud it was
and you're like, oh. It's oh shit, yeah.
Oh fuck. Yeah, What am I going to do?
Where do I go? What do I?
Yes, I mean, and it's also because it is way more stark,
especially I think when we went through our breakups when I go
on Tinder and I'd see the lesbians on there like there
weren't many for a start. I fucking cleared them all in
like 5. Yeah, and then you're like, I
know that these people are suitable for me, so fuck, I'm
going to be single for the rest of my life because.
The pool was way smaller and you're like, oh, fantastic.
Yeah, yeah. Like, yeah.
And I think that that's, that's what kind of like hurts so much
because you get so accustomed to this person literally being a
fucking backpack in your life and just complete companionship.
Version of you. They've become another version.
Of you I honestly like and I love you so much and I, I would
love to say that I'm not going to be absolutely psychotic when
we break up because I would be very.
What do you mean when you meant say if if go fuck me, you've
just you shagging in America, then it's got to be someone.
We're into Call of Duty, actually, both of us.
We met on that better than Harry Potter.
On Call of Duty speaking on one V1 no if Jesus, if we ever broke
up, I know I'd be I know I'd be bad but but mainly because it
like I love you so much, but we have also built.
So much life. Together we are like a married
couple, just without the fucking stupid.
And don't expect me to propose to anytime soon.
No, no, no, no. I don't want you to.
But I'm saying that yes, I do actually.
But I but. It's not happening because my
ass is not dropping money on an engagement ring anytime.
Soon, that engagement ring better be.
Still not coming. It's probably still not gonna
come. But if we get a sign.
On I wanna be engaged for a good ten years.
It's not like I want the marriage.
I just 20 but. 20 Let's negotiate.
Shut up. But what I'm saying is we have
all of the commitment possible that we could ever actually
physically forget. We got a job together.
We got a fucking house together. We got a dog together.
The dog dog's mind like Ziggy, Baby no.
The dog's mind. Let's not start this.
They don't.
Let's not even go there, OK? Ziggy is the love of my life.
Really. Truly.
Yeah, he might be the love of your.
He's in the back of my mind if I ever think about doing anything,
but I'm not love his. And you know that deep down.
Who does he kiss first in the morning?
Yeah, because I say to him, go and kiss mother.
I actually because. He's following my demand.
I actually come on, you do that. Oh, so Fred, you can't even
fucking walk the dog down the street with me without him
looking at me. Like please take.
Yeah, because it's routine. It's usually you fucking walking
him. That's why it's not because I'm
just shut up anyway, that's all I'm talking about.
But but no, I I'm now in like a situation where yeah, I can look
back at that, but I have also learnt, Yep, those lessons of if
you are really heartbroken, like I said, that person doesn't want
you, fucking let them free, let them go because that stops the
games. I hate game players because take
their power back because. Then they'll go what you want to
leave a lot. Of you just break up me.
Issues are because you feel powerless.
You, you can take the power, fuck it off, block quick, just
move on. Just move on.
Why? Don't Why would you want to be
with someone that even if you're not breaking up, if you're
arguing all the time and you're happy, why waste your life?
Like it sounds so like basic preach Instagram quote life is
too short. But truly, yeah, if it was
arguing all the time, as much as I'd love you, I'd be like fuck
me. Yeah, life.
And we did go through that phase where we were arguing all the
time and. Then we're just we're
backtracking on our own. Yeah, but it.
No, but it was. Just either sort it out.
Or you either sort it out because you can sort it out
through thorough communication, and if you cannot communicate on
that level with that person without them flipping their
shit. But we worked it out as well
because I knew deep down that you and my person, I wouldn't
have worked it out with a lot of other people.
So if you have that, you know, you will know if you've got that
thing in your gut, well, you know, it's not your forever
person. Stop wasting your time, guys.
We're now going to go into the to the latest Horror Story.
I say the latest. This one was actually sent a few
weeks ago. But the other horror stories
that we'd read out kind of tied more into the episodes.
We've been sitting on this one and whilst we've been sitting on
it, like I'm not going to sit here and pretend I've not read
this before. I'm Freya hasn't read this
before because we have and we've had multiple conversations about
trying to work this out and we haven't been able to work so we.
Want to hear? Like European, we want to hear
European. We will give ours first.
So let me read this to you. Hi, my name's Anya.
I don't mind my name being used for the purpose of this story.
Let's keep everyone else's name fake.
So I'm in my final year of uni and every Saturday my uni does a
club night which literally everyone goes to.
Me and my housemates went out last week and I really didn't
have any intentions of getting in with anyone because I've just
become newly single. By the way guys if it sounds
like I'm struggling to read this, sorry Anya love you but
you've got a lot of typos in here and so This is why I'm
struggling. Me and my housemates went out
last week and I didn't have any intentions of getting with
anyone because I've just newly become single.
We got to the club and everything was normal, just
getting drinks and shots, all good.
We head to the dance floor and at this point I see the
prettiest girl looking and making dough eyes at me.
Let's call her Eve. Love that killing Eve.
Jodie Comer. One thing led to another and we
ended up getting off whilst all of my friends cheered on.
I had finally rebounded, we got so frisky and I got extremely
horny so suggested she came back to mine and immediately she
agreed. Me and Eve get back to mine but
by this point I was slightly pissed.
We started having sex which begins kind of clumsy but then
we really get into it. She goes down on me and honestly
it's the best sex I've had in a while.
Then Eve whispers sit on my face which I then proceed to do.
There I am, riding this girl's face, about to have I'm sorry,
about to have the best orgasm of my life, when I hear a gurgling
sound from under me, almost like someone is drowning.
I look down to see Eve, soaking wet, like to wet.
It didn't make any sense. Then a hot wave of realisation
came over me. I was kind of drunk so in that
moment I'd mistaken my orgasm for a piss.
I fully pissed on her face. I began apologising immediately
and then she realised what I had done.
She kind of said it was OK but then proceeded to use my shower,
put her clothes on and literally ran out of the door.
I am so embarrassed and I don't know what to do next.
It's been about a week since it happened.
Sorry babe, we're only just reading it out and giving your
advice now. It's only been a week since that
happened but I can't stop thinking about how good she made
me feel. Do I text her?
I really liked it and I don't know what to do.
Please help. Anya, babe.
Fucking. I love this story so much
because it's so multifaceted, right?
Yeah. So it's like my first instinct
goes to you didn't piss, I didn't.
Squirt on her. She squirted on her a lot.
You just said that that was the best orgasm of your life.
Yeah, that was a fucking squirt. Because I thought you've really
got to think about going for a wee.
I don't know about anyone else. You get the pressure when you're
like, oh, I'm going to actively pee.
Yeah. And it's a different sense.
It's a very different sensation of when you're squirting and
when you're pissing. Like when you are having a piss,
you like really feel it, whereas you can have sex and like you
feel yourself squirting. Sorry straight girls, you
probably don't, but you feel yourself squirting and it's a
very different, it's a very different feeling.
Also, if that bitch is gurgling, she's either the best lesbian in
the world. She powered through that.
You're we. Yeah, but OK, so.
You. No, no, but she can't be that
way because she ran out the door like because now for me.
I'd love it. Oh, what I'm saying is, she must
be fucking incredible in bed, right?
Because she must. Be I know a lot of girls who
squirt for someone to be gurgling though Jesus Christ.
Yeah, but also like, let me just no physics because she is lying
down and this girl is on top of her.
Usually Squirt literally will like fucking fly across the room
whereas if you are directly it's going to go straight down the
mouth. Yeah, so.
I. Love it, Anya I.
Think legend. Own it, because I really, truly
do not think you're pissed. I think you squirt for the first
time in. Your but even if you did piss
own it still just message around me like hello toilet like what
do you do at that point? This is.
Yeah, it's been a week and I need a fucking piss.
This is my and. Potty and potty mouth.
No, I also wouldn't mind if a fuck.
If a hot girl pissed in my mouth, wouldn't care.
No, OK, I've been go for it. So Anya.
Let me be your own it, babe. I don't think you pissed, but
even if you did own it, I do think you squirted probably a
lot for the first time in your life, and so you're mistaken.
You don't realise that you're squirting when you're squirting,
but you realise when you piss. Like I feel like you're, you're
less likely to realise. It's very different if you were
going for a wee. So it's just incredible.
This whole story is amazing. I don't know why she.
Rapped. I don't know why she left.
That's the part that I don't understand, because.
Because if she let it go on for so long that she was gurgling,
she must have liked it. Yeah, also, if that starts to
happen, you get a bit like, oh Jesus, just flip her, turn
around and top her. Don't stay underneath, right.
Like she had a choice. No, so she had a choice to just
manoeuvre the situation so she wasn't having to gurgle.
So this oh, sorry, I just can't even give feedback because this
situation is so incredible. But what I would say is you
squirt for the first time in your life that much.
Maybe you've squirt before, but that much I think you got
uncomfortable, which made the girl maybe a bit uncomfortable.
Maybe she might have felt like she'd done something wrong,
which is kind of why she got up and left.
But what I would say, my advice on this one would be I probably
wouldn't message her. I wouldn't either.
Because I don't think no matter what, for what reason she left.
I don't think it's good any like either scenario.
So she either left because she didn't like the fact that you
made her gurgle. She was like, I'm in the fuck
out. She's.
A fucking loser. That's why she left.
But she left or because you were uncomfortable.
Because you found uncomfortable. Either way she should have just
sat down and been up. It's fucking.
Fine. I want to know actually, Anya,
how did you respond after you saw her gurgling?
Were you like, oh, I just pushed CPR?
What did you do? Did you say, oh, I just pushed
your mouth? Mouth to mouth.
Yeah, literally double lip to lip.
Yeah. Like, what did you say in that
moment? Because I would have been like,
Oh my fucking God. And then if I was a guy on the
bottom, I would have been like, I'm a fucking guy just.
Reminded me of something that I'd done and how I reacted.
It's like it's not even that bad, but like because this
person was quite shy, it was quite bad that I was.
Having sex with someone once and it was like not like kinky rough
sex it was just like vanilla and I don't know why I'd done this
but out of nowhere I slapped her ass so fucking hard that she
went oh and then she like hung back up.
Like a cat. So kind of similar and I just
went. Sorry.
And carried on. Sorry, Joe, one thing that I
would say just never apologise during sex, like unless you've
done something really fucking wild, OK, but I mean like if
you're if you're in a situation where like the other person's
having fun. Oh sorry, that kind of ruins me
A. Little bit if you're having to
apologise. Oh, look, OK, I'm saying this in
a very like I, we're going to ask you about this when you come
on. I can't wait.
Yeah, we'll just read it out. But I if if it's within reason
like slapping the ass, just fucking own it to.
Be fair and yeah, if you and this girl have spoken since,
don't take our advice. It's like absolute Bible.
Obviously, if you've spoken since and worked out and.
If you want to do it, do it. It's fine.
But my opinion my my yeah, I personally message and you
probably did squirt because you were quite drunk as well.
So like you felt a little bit more free, relaxed, a bit more
relaxed. You were having fun.
It was great work. Because a lot of girls often
can't squirt because they're like, too uptight, they're too
worried about it, they're overthinking.
They're too worried that they're gonna we.
And probably the position as well of being on top cause the
squirt more. True, I'm going to try.
It it's just so good. Love that shit.
What? Dripping Karen's squirt Dripping
Karen's squirt Karen's if. Karen's doing nothing.
Would they be Karen's? No.
I mean would kill. Them I feel like this should be
a charity we should start. It is Karen, Squirt.
Squirt, this is how. And they might just fucking
cheer up and stop being. And again, going back to Jesus,
this is how we push back to the to the Christians telling us or
any religion telling us that we're not going to heaven is if
we set up the Karen Squirt charity.
Absolutely. Lesbians making Karen squirt,
Yeah. 11 Karen at a time. One way to came up baby heaven
baby. I'm off.
One way ticket to heaven. Who says I want to go?
Hospitality managers. I want to go to hell.
We've been to hell multiple times.
I've been to fucking heaven in Sheba.
I've been to hell and I love it. I.
It's sweaty down there. It is hot.
I love. It down there.
Do you think that I'm worried that I might be going to hell?
I live it most fucking we. Like the heat?
Cunt, I'm there. So with the horror stories, we
want more and more. So please feel free to e-mail
it. We've got our e-mail in the link
below. So give us all your best because
nothing is too rogue as far as we're concerned.
So we love to have a little chat about it and we have a chat with
you as well, which is really, really great.
And beyond, beyond stories, like any topics you guys want us to
cover as well, just let us know. Complete over.
We've got a few in the back pocket, but more the merrier.
And that's everything for. I think that is everything for
episode. 4. Of how lesbian supper club
podcast again, guys, this is going fucking crazy.
Like we can't keep up. You're all legends.
Like the support has been insane.
And honestly, I'm trying, we're trying to come back to every
single one of you because like, you're all amazing and I
genuinely want to give you all of our heartfelt kind of thank
you. Just know that it's all really
appreciated. But we just keep going.
Lesbians are going to take over the fucking world one day.
Believe me, I'm going to reverse climate change and I'm going to
get rid of. Turf.
Yeah, abolish turf. No, Do you know what?
You can't abolish turf unless you abolish all the people,
which is a whole other story. But what I'm going to do is I'm
going to buy Wikipedia, I'm going to delete those
paragraphs, and I'm just going to put turf.
I'm a cunt. I think you can.
That's it for today. That's it for today.
Everything. Thanks everyone.
Thank you so much. Bye, love you.