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Hello and welcome to episode 4 
of the Lesbian Supper Club. 

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What a week we've had. 
It has been absolutely mental. 

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I have no idea actually what has
happened, but clearly the world 

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needs more lesbians. 
But I've been telling people 

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that I've been saying you need 
more lesbians and here we are. 

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We've delivered. 
So we wanted to say again, we 

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said it in the last episode, but
we are truly thankful to all of 

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the people that have supported 
us on this journey so far. 

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It has been amazing. 
And to do something that we love

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so much has been incredible. 
Yeah. 

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And we have so much passion for 
it, so much drive, if any. 

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Like I feel a little bit gayer 
by doing this and that's never a

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bad thing. 
Oh, it's a bad thing for me 

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because I didn't need any more 
ammunition. 

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Now I've got it so I'm 
borderline like it's danger 

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zone, so I'm keeping myself in 
check. 

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Nobody should have actually 
given you a microphone. 

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Well, they clearly should have, 
because we're not in the comedy 

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charts because of you, bitch. 
It's because of me, I know. 

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And this is what I mean. 
It's the ego. 

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The head is getting large. 
Not the ego, it's just the 

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truth. 
For us to have that solid 

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entertainment throughout the 
week is, is is incredible and 

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actually makes you feel a little
bit better about the kind of 

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situations I've had in my life 
because now I'm like, OK, 

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lesbians really are doing 
something. 

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They're doing bits. 
Oh, you think you've done bad? 

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Like the inbox, someone's 
telling us we've done worse. 

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Yeah. 
So that's helping. 

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I mean, you're saying all of 
this about how we've made it 

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into the charts. 
We're still in the charts and 

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climbing. 
It's been an insane, insane 

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week. 
Yeah, all I've really given a 

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shit about is the fact that I 
can't fucking walk at the moment

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because I've slipped a disc in 
my back. 

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So whilst this is, you know, I'm
happy, I am happy. 

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I'm smiling at the moment 
through gritty teeth because I'm

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in so much pain. 
So I'm probably going to be even

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more of a cock on this episode 
than what I usually am. 

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Just, you know, PSA to that. 
It's bare with a thorn syndrome.

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Like you've really. 
Oh yeah, everything's been 

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magnified by like 100% now that 
you've got your slip disc bit of

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scoliosis. 
Only hot girls get scoliosis, by

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the way. 
It's a tall girl problem, 

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generally. 
Yeah, it's a hot girl problem. 

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We are scarlet. 
And Freya. 

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And The thing is, is that people
always think that you're 

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actually Freya. 
I've had loads of comments. 

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So, so highly offensive. 
Lovely. 

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They go, they they see the 
videos and they're like, oh, 

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funny that I thought your name 
was Freya and I was Scarlet. 

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So yeah, so Freya's the blonde 
one with short hair. 

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Scarlett is the brunette with 
long hair. 

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We are a lesbian couple who have
been together for the last 

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nearly five years. 
Which is 500 years in lesbian 

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years by the way, just to let 
you guys know if you didn't 

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already. 
Yeah, and we've mentioned this 

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before. 
We basically got so bored in our

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relationship, we were like, how 
can we spice things up? 

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Instead of breaking up, let's 
start a podcast. 

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That's a lie. 
I'm joking. 

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This was, this was option B. 
Yeah. 

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Either we're either we're 
breaking up, the house is gone, 

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the dog's gone. 
That was no, because I feel like

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this we give each other. 
I love you so yeah, I love you 

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too. 
I love you a lot. 

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And oh, I know she absolutely 
hates it. 

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But The thing is that we 
wouldn't, we wouldn't be able to

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do this with one another if we 
didn't have a hell of a lot of 

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respect and love for one 
another. 

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So. 
And a lot of a lot of patience, 

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a lot of fucking patience on 
your behalf. 

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I don't need patience really. 
Oh no, I mean. 

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Oh yeah, yeah, no, that was a 
compliment. 

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I'm not used to that. 
I thought you were going 

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straight in for like, but we 
kind of wanted to talk about 

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just like start this off because
this past like couple of weeks 

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there's been some bad LGBTQ plus
news and there's been some good 

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LGBTQ plus news. 
First of all, the cancellation 

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of our Generation Q, This is 
just another one of many shows. 

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We're talking A League of Their 
Own, where they're giving us a 

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pity for episode season next 
because they don't want lesbians

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to start rioting and burning 
down houses, which we probably 

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still will. 
We've got the Wilds, which did 

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incredibly well on our side, 
cancelled. 

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That's yeah, because they bought
in a load of men and they made 

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it shit. 
But before it was like all women

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and lesbians and it did 
incredibly well. 

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And so now for L Word Generation
Q. 

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Obviously there's more than 
that, but now for L Word 

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Generation Q to be finished when
it is, you know we're talking 

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about a hell of a load of 
diversity in that lesbian 

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culture, lesbian life that had a
big following and now is being 

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scrapped. 
However, apparently Eileen is. 

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Eileen Shaiken, who did the 
original L Word, is looking to 

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relaunch another L Word with the
original characters, which is 

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good news. 
Which is amazing, but it still 

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doesn't detract from the fact 
like what the fuck is happening 

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in the media? 
Why we it really does feel like 

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we're going backwards at the 
moment. 

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It truly, truly does. 
It feels like we are less 

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progressive actually now than we
were 10 years ago. 

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Because as much as more things 
are coming out like us, for 

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example, this podcast is coming 
out it it's getting pulled and 

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it's getting shit on and it's 
getting cancelled. 

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Like, you know, again, what's 
happening in America with people

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trying to hide their children 
from drag shows? 

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Oh my, grow the fuck up. 
Like hide. 

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Them from the fucking church. 
Yeah. 

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Literally, you know what I mean.
Oh my God, I've I've actually 

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got an amazing church. 
Sorry from my local church had 

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you. 
Was it a pedo? 

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Yeah, knew it. 
Yeah, yeah, but like no, no, oh,

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don't. 
Why am I like bad? 

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OK, I'm I'm smiling not because 
I find it atomic smile. 

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Sorry, no, it's out of smugness.
Yeah, because I'm like you 

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fuckers make out as if the LGBTQ
plus community that's. 

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What I mean is. 
Dangerous. 

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And it's you fucking lot. 
You're looking in the mirror. 

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You're trying to use us to hide 
your own fucking perverted ways,

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you bastards, you little. 
Dirty buggers. 

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You fucking dirty old bastards. 
That's what my nut, sorry to 

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detract. 
I really shouldn't be, but this 

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it just like all of this is 
slightly a generational problem 

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as well, right? 
And like my Nan, love her to 

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pieces and she, you know, she's 
very, very inclusive. 

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She's the type of person that 
anyone could knock on her door. 

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She'd have them in tea, coffee 
and biscuits. 

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But also sometimes the shit that
comes out of her mouth because 

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of they've just kind of been 
conditioned for so long they 

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don't even realise. 
When we found out one of our 

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local vicars was a paedophile, 
there were twins, right? 

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One was good, one was bad. 
So it was like good, bad, good 

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twin, evil twin. 
She went, oh, isn't it a shame? 

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Now he's got to go prison. 
Now, of course, he's gotta go to

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fucking prison, Nan, He's been 
fucking. 

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Why did she say? 
That always, always old. 

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It doesn't matter. 
Fucking brilliant. 

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Let him rock and we. 
All. 

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Were just like Oh yeah but he's 
old now. 

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Nan, babe, Hun, he's still a 
pedo. 

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So yeah, I don't know what's 
going on in the media right now 

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with. 
Yeah, I know for a fact that if 

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I had children, I would much 
rather take them to rule 

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RuPaul's Drag Race then take 
them to Sunday school. 100% they

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learn more. 
Yeah, they learn how to slap 

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drop any quiz show, any drag 
show. 

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There's this guy that I follow 
that is incredible and I can't 

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actually remember his name, but 
he's on TikTok and he basically 

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will print screen all of the 
comments from these horrendous 

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men and then we'll like name and
shame them. 

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Yeah. 
And it's like, dude, what? 

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What is going on? 
And then so all of this is going

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on, yet they will focus on anti 
trans rights, anti drag Queens. 

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And I'm like, you are pointing 
in the complete wrong direction.

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You have no idea. 
Well, you do know the threat, 

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but you're focusing on the 
threat that there actually is. 

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How about America sorts out 
their fucking gun laws before 

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they do anything else, You know,
just sort out your gun laws and 

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then and then but you again, 
like these comments that you're 

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referencing. 
I will know for an absolute 

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fact, and I will put this down 
on this podcast. 

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Not a single one of those 
comments will be from a drag 

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queen or drag queen fact. 
No, I don't even need to look at

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them to know that that will be 
the case. 

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Yeah. 
So yeah, this is bullshit, but 

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we're coming back. 
Absolute fucking bullshit, but 

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that's why we love doing what we
do. 

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We ain't being cancelled, 
believe me. 

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I'll do anything. 
There's no fucker that can 

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cancel us actually, because 
we're just doing this off our 

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own back with all of our 
legendary friends. 

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You can't take this from us. 
And you're never loud. 

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And take you're never taking 
this from us. 

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Believe me, Believe me, we. 
Came across a video by this 

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trans woman called Lily who is 
incredible by the way, and we've

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recently discovered her. 
And we're going to tag her in in

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the, you know, in the bio of of 
this podcast. 

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And also we will be shouting her
out on the lesbian Supper club 

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pod because Lily also has a 
podcast podcast which hands up, 

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I haven't listened to yet 
because this literally came to 

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light this morning. 
We hadn't planned to mention 

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this on this podcast, but we'll 
be paying to light. 

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And we found it so poignant that
we were like, we have to talk 

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about this and we have to shed 
light on this because it's 

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absolutely fucking horrific. 
And I want to say that I'm 

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shocked and appalled, and I'm 
definitely appalled, but I'm not

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shocked. 
And this is the sad thing about 

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this story. 
So basically this came up on my 

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Instagram this morning and it 
was a video that Lily had posted

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herself and she was sat in a 
restaurant in America innocently

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eating a meal with her dog. 
The very fucking cute dog by 

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the. 
Way very cute dog and I think 

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again, I really don't know too 
much about this person because 

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we've not had the chance to 
really look into what Lily does 

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etcetera but I think she you 
know, works in kind of social 

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media influencing doing the 
podcast, etcetera. 

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So I assume was naturally just 
recording herself as part of her

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content and out of nowhere some 
woman, I'm assuming this 

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person's a woman, she probably 
she's got to identify as a woman

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because if you identify well. 
She's not going to be. 

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She's not going to be the way 
that she is. 

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She is a woman. 
Yeah. 

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And she came, she came up to 
Lily and just out of nowhere 

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wanted to spread hate. 
Hate crime. 

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Hate crime whilst Lily is just 
sat there eating her meal like 

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anyone else would like to do and
this woman takes it upon herself

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to literally just yell across 
the restaurant. 

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Well, she started off by 
basically saying she was a. 

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Turf, yeah. 
Turf, yeah. 

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Which is a trans exclusionary 
radical feminist. 

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And I, before coming on here to 
talk about this today, wanted to

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make sure that I, you know, was 
100% informed of this before I 

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came on here. 
And basically all that needs to 

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be as a description under 
Wikipedia for a turf is I am a 

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cunt. 
Like that's all you need to say,

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You know, there's, there's 
paragraphs. 

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It's really fucking stupid. 
I am a bigoted little cunt. 

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Done. 
Finished. 

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So we need to know. 
Yeah, there. 

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There really is nothing else. 
You know what? 

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Makes me laugh so much though, 
is that not laugh, but like 

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laugh at a fury is that this 
woman comes in and she's like, 

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well, you can be who you want to
be and I'm a turf, but it's 

225
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:57,320
like, but it's like, yeah, well,
we you you don't have to fucking

226
00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:00,000
shout that you're a twat, that 
you're a bigot. 

227
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:05,040
I don't understand why you're 
you're putting the same box as a

228
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,960
trans person because they're 
like, well, I identify as a 

229
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,160
twat. 
They don't even say twat. 

230
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:11,840
Do they say twat? 
Yeah. 

231
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,000
Anyway, she was. 
That really enraged me though 

232
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:18,840
because I was sat there watching
this and you think how fucking 

233
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,800
demoralising and how 
embarrassing for that woman as 

234
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,840
well though Gives you her. 
You're embarrassing. 

235
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:29,560
And you know, I've been thinking
about this all morning and I've 

236
00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:33,760
been thinking about why people 
hate crime people and why people

237
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:40,080
are hateful towards people. 
And I think it's two things. 

238
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:44,320
It's a you are just born a 
fucking piece of shit, and I 

239
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:46,320
don't care what good you've done
for society. 

240
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:49,840
If you are speaking I'll of 
people like you know, like that 

241
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:53,680
of any kind of what you would 
class as different from 

242
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:57,040
yourself. 
You are a piece of shit. 

243
00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:01,840
And I also think it comes down 
to you're just thick as actual. 

244
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:05,560
Fuck. 
Because the annoying thing about

245
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:09,240
bigots, right? 
And homophobes and transphobes 

246
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:13,800
and racists is I have tried 
multiple times. 

247
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,920
I mean, I've nearly given myself
about four fucking heart 

248
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,280
attacks. 
I've had a brain haemorrhage and

249
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:20,680
I swear it's because of bigots 
because I've wound myself up so 

250
00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:23,320
fucking much. 
A blood vessel in my brain just 

251
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:24,120
gone. 
Yeah, bye. 

252
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,240
Is that you can't argue with 
thick. 

253
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,840
And this is what is so annoying,
right? 

254
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:35,920
I have actually had interesting 
conversations with people before

255
00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:43,920
who have been transphobic or 
racist or, you know, homophobic,

256
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,120
and I've been able to sit down 
with them. 

257
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:49,120
And I shouldn't have to do this.
No one should have to do this. 

258
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,840
It's really. 
Not by the way, just PSA. 

259
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:52,400
We shouldn't have to fucking 
educate. 

260
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:53,600
No, we shouldn't. 
No. 

261
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:58,640
But sometimes I take the take 
the time to do it because I get 

262
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:01,000
so enraged. 
I cannot help myself, I cannot 

263
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,840
stop myself. 
And I have very, very rarely had

264
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,800
people turn around and go, I'll 
hold my hands up. 

265
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:09,240
Do you know what? 
I was wrong. 

266
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:11,840
I shouldn't have to have fucking
educated you. 

267
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:15,040
But it's, you know, I've changed
someone. 

268
00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:21,320
But 99.9% of the time you can't 
even have a conversation with 

269
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:26,200
these people because they're 
just so fucking stupid. 

270
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:30,960
Bottom of the barrel fucking 
scraping it right down there, do

271
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,040
you know? 
What put them all on a boat? 

272
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,160
Put them in an island. 
With a work with an engine that 

273
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:38,600
doesn't work and fucking get in 
a speedboat and drive off. 

274
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,400
Women in an island with no food 
or water because none of them 

275
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,200
will be smart enough to be able 
to figure out how to eat or 

276
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,640
drink. 
True, and then they'll just 

277
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,920
fucking die. 5 Live the fittest 
at the end of the day. 

278
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:49,920
But yeah, I mean, that is 
horrendous. 

279
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,480
And we definitely want to speak 
more about this when when we can

280
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:54,600
have our trans friends on board 
as well. 

281
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:57,840
Like you said, we want to be 
able to have that voice from 

282
00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,400
them because it's not a lived 
experience for us. 

283
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,400
But just coming from the 
lesbians, we, you know, we 

284
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:06,640
obviously love you, support 
trans people and trans rights on

285
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,440
the lighter side of RGBTQ plus 
news. 

286
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:13,520
So on the other end, we've got 
Anne Hathaway and Mckayla Cole 

287
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:17,000
have just been announced to be 
in a lesbian. 

288
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:20,320
I think it's like a drama or 
like a film that they're coming 

289
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,960
out with. 
I am so excited. 

290
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,240
So am I, but if it's another 
queer bait I'm going to be 

291
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:24,680
pissed. 
The. 

292
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,400
Right. 
No, I don't think it is because 

293
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:29,120
because they have an outset that
you know, it is going to be kind

294
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:33,000
of like centralised around that 
and they are both massive LGBTQ 

295
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,920
plus advocates and feminists, 
which is. 

296
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,160
Very important. 
Really, really well. 

297
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,720
First of all, I can't wait to 
see it because they're both hot.

298
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:44,400
Secondly, I and this is contrary
to what some people might think,

299
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:45,840
so I kind of want to put this 
out there. 

300
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:50,280
I think it's good and I think 
it's a positive for straight or 

301
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:55,920
at least straight ish 
celebrities, actors, etcetera to

302
00:15:55,920 --> 00:16:00,320
be playing queer roles. 
The reason behind this is 

303
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:06,520
because I think that it gives so
much more exposure to so many 

304
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:09,320
other people out there that 
aren't exclusively in that 

305
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:11,160
community that would watch it. 
Right. 

306
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:15,120
So your bigoted uncle fucking 
aunt is going to actually 

307
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,040
stumble across this because they
love Anne Hathaway and they 

308
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,320
might want to watch it and it's 
encouraging to see some of that.

309
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,120
They already like portraying 
this character. 

310
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,120
And it does. 
And I don't want to say brave. 

311
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:30,360
It's not, it's not brave. 
It's not brave, but back in the 

312
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:32,880
day they wouldn't have had a 
straight person playing a gay 

313
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:34,920
role because they'd be like, oh,
this might ruin my career 

314
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,680
because I'm playing a queer 
character and there's so many 

315
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:39,360
homophobes. 
And I think what else is also 

316
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:44,280
really good about this is that 
like it is, it's subliminally 

317
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,880
educating people, right? 
Because it's like you say, you 

318
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,600
mentioned these two amazing A 
list actresses. 

319
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:52,920
They will have a lot of 
followers and a lot of fans who 

320
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:58,760
are bigoted twats and they are 
so stupid that they'll be like, 

321
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:02,000
well, if my idol does it, I'll 
like it, do you know what I 

322
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:02,800
mean? 
And be like. 

323
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,560
I'm going to scissor tomorrow. 
I'm going to give it a good go. 

324
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:08,720
I've never been gay, but I'm now
because Anne is. 

325
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,359
Good old Anne Hathaway. 
No, but this is the thing like I

326
00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:17,319
think that is the good side and 
this is what I feel like can 

327
00:17:17,319 --> 00:17:21,319
really like you said educate in 
in not a so explicit way because

328
00:17:21,319 --> 00:17:24,000
they will fall upon it a little 
bit more because it is going to 

329
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,920
have more of a profile behind it
as well. 

330
00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:33,520
Obviously the whole point is 
that we should have a lot more a

331
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:41,720
list celebrities which do 
identify as gay, pansexual, 

332
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:45,920
bisexual, are transgender, are 
non binary. 

333
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:52,040
The point is, we should already 
be at a point that. 

334
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,960
We have those balls that can 
just play that. 

335
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:58,280
Role because they are queer and 
they're playing queer roles. 

336
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:02,640
Sadly, we are not at that point.
We will get there one day, but. 

337
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,840
Also, you know, if straight 
people can play queer roles, 

338
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,640
queer people can play straight. 
It shouldn't be exclusive on 

339
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:15,800
either way, on I'm sorry on 
either side, But we do have a 

340
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:20,480
pitiful small amount of the 
queer community. 

341
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:25,520
Yeah, we do in high paid roles 
throughout any single industry. 

342
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,520
Can I just say, though, they're 
not out? 

343
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,720
No, there are a lot of them out 
there that are a list who are 

344
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:34,120
queer or identify somewhere on 
that. 

345
00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:35,800
But that's. 
Problematic in itself, right? 

346
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:39,600
So this episode we actually 
really wanted to delve into 

347
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,400
heartbreak. 
Because specifically lesbian 

348
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,040
there is nothing I don't care 
about other heart. 

349
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,600
No no no. 
My straight friends break up 

350
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:48,240
with their boyfriends and I'm 
like oh God that's so sad and 

351
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:51,880
I'm literally like fucking. 
Yes, there is nothing sad or 

352
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:55,200
more desperate and demoralising 
than lesbian heartbreak. 

353
00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:59,840
I mean I trauma, I can speak on 
a first hand experience the 

354
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:03,080
horrendous experience that I 
have actually had through 

355
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,040
breakups. 
And particularly, I mean, all 

356
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:10,200
lesbian heartbreak is bad, but 
your first lesbian heartbreak, 

357
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,520
if you're bouncing back from 
that shit, you're fucking 

358
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,520
bouncing back from anything in 
this life. 

359
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,320
You're. 
Going to survive in apocalypse. 

360
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:22,400
I truly, truly believe that if 
you are recovering from a 

361
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:26,360
lesbian breakup, you you, you 
are Jesus. 

362
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:28,320
I actually almost put myself 
into rehab. 

363
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,200
Not even, but not even for 
alcohol. 

364
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,360
Like literally just to be on a 
fucking ward. 

365
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,240
Just to be like, yeah, straight 
jacket me because. 

366
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,720
Yeah, literally. 
No, I actually. 

367
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,880
Do yeah, I was so. 
Upset that they were like, do 

368
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:41,400
you want to stay here? 
When I saw my psychiatrist and I

369
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:44,280
was like maybe I might have to. 
Yeah, I mean. 

370
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,320
We, I mean, I got over it like 
it was actually like 10:00 PM 

371
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:48,840
that night. 
I was like. 

372
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:53,560
We talk kind, we talk kindly on 
this podcast, but I think we've 

373
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,760
mentioned potentially before, 
and we will go into this in the 

374
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,480
future as well, about kind of 
the phases of lesbian 

375
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,560
relationships and why we think 
so many of them don't reach year

376
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,520
2. 
And there was a point of during 

377
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:07,000
mine and Fraser's relationship 
where we just weren't getting 

378
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,800
on. 
And, you know. 

379
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:13,400
We 14 month mark. 
Yeah, fourteen, 14th to 16th 

380
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:16,960
month mark and we were both 
having these thoughts 

381
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,440
separately, but too scared to 
kind of talk about them to each 

382
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,640
other. 
But it was playing on my mind 

383
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:30,560
where I was like, I know that 
Freya will be so feral if I walk

384
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:32,120
away. 
Yeah, it would have been. 

385
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:34,240
It is keeping me here a bit 
like. 

386
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,880
I would. 
I'm like the fucking Tasmanian 

387
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,000
devil can't try and break up 
with me and I start spinning 

388
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000
around. 
And guys, by the way, I'm not, I

389
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,600
want, I don't want to do you. 
I don't want to do you dirty 

390
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,960
here. 
Not in a toxic way, but in a 

391
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:50,440
kick a puppy kind of way, You 
know what I mean? 

392
00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:53,680
Like. 
What does she? 

393
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:58,440
Can mean because you don't, 
because you're so lovable that 

394
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,320
it would be like, I'd be like 
Freya. 

395
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:01,920
No, And you. 
But I'm not taking that for an 

396
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:03,000
answer. 
Yeah. 

397
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:06,800
And you just keep coming back. 
And then I'd have to get more 

398
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:11,600
and more fierce. 
I'm taking the dog and you do 

399
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,080
brilliant we. 
Call it like Dicky, basically. 

400
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:17,440
So it's a Somerset euthanism. 
Like when someone's being stupid

401
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,840
for no reason, We'll be out. 
You're having a dicky on just to

402
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:23,760
educate people on Somerset. 
I do have a right? 

403
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,320
Dicky and I say to Freya the 
time I'd be like, you would be 

404
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:31,320
so Dicky because she'd be like, 
I know it. 

405
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:33,240
Yeah, but you know what makes it
worse is that? 

406
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:36,200
Like I just die of starvation. 
You would die of starvation, but

407
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:40,760
before that, like you, you act 
very like sullen, like there's 

408
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:45,040
no emotion that goes on there. 
OK, so that for someone like me 

409
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,120
is so much worse because then 
I'm like, why the fuck aren't 

410
00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:50,520
you crying? 
I'm literally like shitting 

411
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:54,200
myself in the corner out of pure
desperation and sadness, and 

412
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,360
you're just sat there like, 
yeah, on your phone. 

413
00:21:56,440 --> 00:22:00,720
And that my childhood 
experiences have made me shut 

414
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:03,080
off in high. 
Stress situation, I totally get 

415
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:04,560
it. 
But when you're in the situation

416
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:07,000
on the other side, you're like, 
I'm gonna literally smash my 

417
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,280
head against. 
The wall, OK, but we're not, 

418
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:10,160
we're not talking about, we're 
not talking about the breaker. 

419
00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:14,960
But leading on from like why? 
I'm actually like this I believe

420
00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:18,160
is because of past experiences 
from those heart breaks. 

421
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:21,400
So it's almost like a muscle 
memory of like, I remember how 

422
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:26,520
bad it was and specific things 
that really like triggered me 

423
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:30,000
into, into acting the way that I
did with you, if that makes 

424
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,520
sense. 
So like if I'd see like an inch 

425
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:37,000
of a similar personality trait 
within like a kind of like 

426
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,720
argument situation linked to a 
previous breakup. 

427
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:41,880
I then suddenly I'm like, you 
don't love me. 

428
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,440
You want to leave me. 
You're getting in your car right

429
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:45,400
now. 
That means that you're never 

430
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:46,880
coming back. 
Which is why I think. 

431
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,920
Whereas you're like, I'm just 
getting myself some space. 

432
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:50,200
Yes, which is fine. 
Yeah. 

433
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,960
And and This is why I think that
we struggled a lot more at the 

434
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,920
start and now our communication 
is so good. 

435
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:56,480
This this. 
That doesn't happen. 

436
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,880
It doesn't. 
Happen anymore because we have 

437
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:02,680
both had to unlearn the 
behaviours and those knee jerk 

438
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:05,040
reactions from our previous 
relationships. 

439
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:08,480
For whatever reason. 
I wouldn't be able to say shit 

440
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,640
about you, which is really 
amazing because I do love you so

441
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,200
much and it but I'm trying to 
think. 

442
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,840
I know you've probably got some 
stuff you can say about me. 

443
00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:19,160
Oh, you do. 
Oh, you do. 

444
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:21,040
Oh baby, you do. 
Do I? 

445
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:23,560
Do you not know how bad my 
memory is? 

446
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:25,400
Oh, that is that works in my 
favourite. 

447
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,080
It does work very well in your 
My memory is so bad that I 

448
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:31,840
watched Jenny's wedding the 
other day just to trigger my 

449
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:35,480
memory of my own coming out 
story because I actually forgot 

450
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:38,840
how bad it was and then I'm sat 
there watching Jenny's wedding. 

451
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:42,720
She was crying in bed. 
Film, literally crying, 

452
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:44,800
blubbing. 
Yeah, you need therapy, but we 

453
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:47,280
can't afford it right now. 
Yeah, we do need that. 

454
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,880
This is my therapy. 
So, Freya, we're digressing 

455
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:55,400
massively. 
Please tell me about your first 

456
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:58,000
lesbian well. 
Well, one of them was a bad one.

457
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,640
Lesbian heartbreak and the one 
that pained you. 

458
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,080
I think the one that pained me 
the most. 

459
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:08,680
So I'm not going to like mention
like the situation really, but I

460
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:14,480
think for me, the worst thing is
when you feel completely 

461
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:18,440
helpless and you cannot have a 
voice in the situation. 

462
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:22,280
So when you are in this 
situation, I was really deeply, 

463
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:27,160
painfully in love with this 
woman girl at the time, I'd say.

464
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:34,680
And I so desperately wanted to 
kind of get my point across, but

465
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:37,640
what happens is, and I feel like
this happens in lesbian 

466
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,880
relationships specifically. 
Maybe not. 

467
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:41,920
Maybe it could actually be 
actually, no, I think this is 

468
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:45,000
general. 
There was usually one person 

469
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,480
that is in the power in this 
situation, right? 

470
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,040
I was not the person in this 
power in this situation. 

471
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:53,160
So I was in a really, really bad
way. 

472
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:57,640
And it made me really desperate.
I think that for me because I 

473
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:02,320
thought I planned out so many 
things with this person and I 

474
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,320
had a life with them and my 
whole life actually. 

475
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,840
And again, this happens in like 
very extreme lesbian 

476
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,000
relationships. 
This doesn't, I don't think this

477
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:14,120
is the same in our situation, 
but like in my situation, it was

478
00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:16,080
like my whole life revolved 
around her. 

479
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:20,400
So all of my friends ohh, no, 
this or something, or you know, 

480
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,640
I, I, I, I just, I centralised 
her in my life, right? 

481
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:24,920
So when? 
No, can I? 

482
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:28,240
Sorry, I just really wanna cut 
you there because actually I was

483
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,760
going to say this myself. 
Is that one of the reasons why I

484
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,760
think lesbian breakups are 
harder is because we do often 

485
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,720
merge. 
We become best friends and all 

486
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,880
of our friends became become the
same best friends. 

487
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,680
And I think in heterosexual 
relationships you usually 

488
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,720
maintain different friendship 
groups, right? 

489
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:46,560
So that's one thing they're. 
Like I'm going out with the. 

490
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:49,120
Girls yeah, so that makes it 
even harder. 

491
00:25:49,120 --> 00:25:51,000
But the one thing I'll say in 
your situation here, because 

492
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,120
obviously I know about this 
because we're together, I'm not 

493
00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:55,720
going to pretend that I don't, 
is not only were your 

494
00:25:55,720 --> 00:26:01,240
friendships may be the same, you
cut off a lot of your life. 

495
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:03,120
You were so focused on this 
person. 

496
00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:05,240
This isn't actually this persons
fault because you should have 

497
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,480
stood up and said no. 
I'm prioritising. 

498
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,240
Myself, I'm still I'm not 
blaming you've. 

499
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:14,800
Cut off lots of different 
avenues for yourself outside of 

500
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,000
this person. 
Sorry, I just wanted to make 

501
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,680
that clear. 
No, no, that's very, that's very

502
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:22,920
clear and clear. 
Like I, I honestly when I say 

503
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,160
that like I can't remember the 
whole thing because it went on 

504
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:27,080
for months, right? 
Of like there was a lot of 

505
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:31,080
blocking, unblocking on her 
behalf, which if you're doing 

506
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:35,080
this to someone right now. 
You fucking stop and grow up. 

507
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:38,760
It's so fucking immature. 
Like it was so horrific because 

508
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:40,520
it came out of nowhere as well. 
It wasn't like. 

509
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:42,440
Although I say that there's been
times being very valid 

510
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:44,000
arguments, I've turned off my 
fine friends. 

511
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,360
Oh. 
So I'm jokes on you bitch, 

512
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,120
because I've got your iCloud 
password. 

513
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:51,600
I'm of, yeah. 
So I can log right in and see 

514
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:54,480
her location. 
There was no rhyme or reason to 

515
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,160
the blocking part, right? 
So initially the blocking was 

516
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,040
like, I'm cutting you out, 
that's it, you're blocked. 

517
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:03,120
OK, totally get that. 
Then you unblock me, you say a 

518
00:27:03,120 --> 00:27:05,560
load of stuff, you say oh I 
still love you, I still miss you

519
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:08,720
and then block out nowhere. 
And then I will be waiting for 

520
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,560
by my phone for like 2 weeks. 
Suddenly there's a call, you've 

521
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,200
unblocked me again. 
And because and this went on so 

522
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:16,560
many times, I can't even count 
how many. 

523
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:20,240
Times it's a massive head fuck. 
The biggest head fuck I've ever 

524
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,960
been through in my life and I 
was so desperate because I loved

525
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:28,400
this person so much that I was 
like this might be wrong but I 

526
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,880
love you so much and now this 
like adrenaline high that I'm 

527
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,880
going every time you call me 
it's like a reward It's like oh 

528
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,440
here's some dopamine it's. 
The emotional high and low 

529
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:39,040
isn't. 
It that's what's in the high and

530
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:40,760
back the. 
Highs are so good. 

531
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,400
Because the lows are so low. 
Yeah. 

532
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,160
And so then I was like, Oh my 
fucking God. 

533
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:45,880
She's called. 
I will literally get in my car 

534
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:47,680
right now and I'll drive and 
I'll do anything and I'll shove 

535
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:49,560
my finger up my ass and I'll do,
you know what I mean? 

536
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,280
And it's like I, I actually, 
I'm, I'm that type of person 

537
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,520
that would get so fucking like 
Dicky, like you say, I'll shove 

538
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:57,000
a remote up my ass because I 
don't know what else to do. 

539
00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:01,360
Like I just get so wound up and 
like in this situation and it 

540
00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:03,360
and it it does take time 
because. 

541
00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:05,400
You think it's? 
Got to reaching your brain. 

542
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:09,520
In it because Freya's not 
exaggerating when she says this.

543
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:13,400
Like has anyone ever watched 
those vines where like the kids 

544
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:16,120
would be up and just go fucking 
stupid? 

545
00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:19,360
This is Freya so like once I was
at her house and she was having 

546
00:28:19,360 --> 00:28:22,560
an argument with her mum. 
This is so good. 

547
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:26,080
Can we just say that I'd had 
some lorazepam the day before 

548
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:27,400
and. 
My mum had given it. 

549
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,160
Because I had a really bad panic
attack on that day. 

550
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,240
So then the next day I was like 
a calm down on the Azipam which 

551
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:32,760
made me. 
Crazy. 

552
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:34,280
Yeah. 
And the Valium Freya usually 

553
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:37,360
takes as diazepam and lorazepam 
is different, strong. 

554
00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:40,600
So she's arguing with her mum 
and she gets so angry. 

555
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:41,880
She's like, right, we're going 
out to what? 

556
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:43,080
The dog? 
She didn't say like this. 

557
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:46,760
I'm saying a lot more calmly. 
I was like, I'm like, OK, cool, 

558
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:50,520
let's get the dog and go out. 
And we walk outside at Freya's 

559
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:55,200
house and there's like a green, 
like just like a garden green. 

560
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,840
And there's a tree, right? 
And right here is so angry. 

561
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:02,280
She, you know, the kid that's 
like. 

562
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,800
It does all that. 
She put the basketball. 

563
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:10,600
A stick, like a massive plan, 
can win and starts whacking this

564
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:13,320
tree. 
Is that a bit pure rage? 

565
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:17,560
It's just acting so fucking I've
never seen anything. 

566
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:20,360
Like I've actually never seen 
Scarlet last I was actually 

567
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:22,080
she's getting. 
So ridiculous. 

568
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,920
It was fine. 
She's like and like literally 

569
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:27,680
just fucking throw it. 
And by the way, like there's a 

570
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:29,560
row of houses, so all of the 
neighbours. 

571
00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:33,520
She was 26 at the time. 
I was watching her own 96, her 

572
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:37,520
own adult battering a tree with 
a piece of wood like an actual 

573
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:38,840
fucking child. 
The woman. 

574
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:41,000
Walked past and she was like, 
you look like you needed that. 

575
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,600
I fucking did alright. 
And then, but then I also, I'm 

576
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:45,880
one of those people that will 
like have a rage like that and 

577
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:47,040
then suddenly I'm like, OK, I'm 
fine now. 

578
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:50,880
Yeah, and she'll come off the 
ledge so quickly. 

579
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:53,560
That's why sometimes like we're 
arguing, she'll be on when I'll 

580
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,280
be like, I'll see you in 5 
minutes for her and just see you

581
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:58,640
in 5 babe and then. 
She'll come in. 

582
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:02,240
She'll usually then come in with
food and be like, I'm sorry. 

583
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:04,480
And then we just move on, sorry,
go back. 

584
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:06,920
I had to tell that. 
It's quite funny, this whole. 

585
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:09,160
Fucking tree. 
Sticking tree baby. 

586
00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:12,880
But yeah, no, I but yeah. 
So can I just say actually I 

587
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:15,600
didn't act so erratically like 
when we'd like meet up, it would

588
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:18,080
just be me sobbing like a little
baby. 

589
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:23,800
I was also coming off no 
sertraline and if anyone's ever 

590
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:26,840
been on sertraline, you'll know 
that you feel really numb when 

591
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:28,920
you're on this drug, on this 
antidepressant. 

592
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:30,640
So you'll feel really, really 
numb. 

593
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:33,640
You'll only ever, I could only 
ever process anger, which was 

594
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:36,240
actually one of the reasons why 
we kind of like split up because

595
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:38,440
I had no emotions, like no 
sadness, no nothing. 

596
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:41,040
It was awful and it felt 
terrible because it's like 

597
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:44,240
nobody likes to feel anger. 
It's horrible feeling and like 

598
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:47,280
nobody likes to not be able to 
cry or have any kind of emotion.

599
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,400
So I took it upon myself to take
myself off it in the aid of the 

600
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:54,760
relationship and then coming off
it whilst going through that 

601
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:58,600
breakup, I've never cried so 
much like when I say just ugly 

602
00:30:58,600 --> 00:30:59,680
tears. 
You know when you're like 

603
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:01,280
driving and you're like, what if
I just. 

604
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:05,000
Actually truly feel so sorry for
your mum and all your family at.

605
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,720
This .0 is in like I would wake 
up, I'd go downstairs, I'd have 

606
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:11,880
a like a shitty roll up 
cigarette, a black coffee and 

607
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:15,880
just be sat there crying like 
it's in streams at like 6:00 AM 

608
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:18,200
because I had a shitty cafe job 
at the same time as well. 

609
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:21,640
I get to that cafe job and I'd 
be working at the dishwasher and

610
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:24,240
just be sobbing at like any 
given moment. 

611
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:28,440
It was, it was ridiculous. 
But I think if you've ever 

612
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:30,760
experienced heartbreak like 
that, my God I feel you. 

613
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:33,160
And if you're going through it 
right now, please actually DM me

614
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:36,880
because I will offer free. 
But going back to the specifics 

615
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:40,160
on dish with lesbians as well, 
and we've been talking about 

616
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:44,280
this a lot recently, right? 
Heterosexual relationships, we 

617
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:45,760
meant, we said last week, 
they're not easier. 

618
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:48,920
They're not harder. 
They are easier for the reason 

619
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:52,760
that they already have a script,
right? 

620
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,760
So heterosexual relationships, 
you see it in the media, you see

621
00:31:55,760 --> 00:32:01,320
it in books, it's everywhere. 
So you already have a almost 

622
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:05,160
guide might not be a good one, 
but you have some kind of guide 

623
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:10,440
of how to deal with things in 
your life like breakups, like 

624
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:15,080
first dates, etcetera, etcetera,
which we don't have, which is 

625
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:18,240
why I think our behaviour is so 
fucking rogue sometimes because 

626
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:22,720
we don't have that core like 
thing that's just been taught 

627
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,080
literally from the middle. 
But I also. 

628
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,520
Actually think that it's really 
good because we can rewrite, but

629
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:28,000
there's. 
Scenarios where there are like 

630
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:29,480
this one you've. 
Got no guide? 

631
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:33,160
So you, for example, when you 
talk about you had nothing 

632
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,120
beyond this person, you didn't 
at this point. 

633
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:39,600
Like when we met, I remember 
thinking this person is amazing 

634
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,400
and she has so much potential 
and she's so talented in 

635
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:45,760
multiple ways, but she has based
herself on pleasing other people

636
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:49,360
so much that you have nothing to
fall back on. 

637
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:52,560
Which is why I even though I 
loved you so much and I wanted 

638
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:56,160
to be with you, I was like if me
and this person don't even work 

639
00:32:56,160 --> 00:33:00,440
out, I want to create this 
person a foundation that even 

640
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:01,560
if. 
We fucking charity. 

641
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:03,120
Or what? 
You were my charity. 

642
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:05,200
And you've done your bit for 
society. 

643
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,280
Do you know what all you Jesus 
lovers say? 

644
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:09,360
I'm not going to fucking heaven 
because I'm gay. 

645
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:11,760
I'm going to heaven because the 
work I've done for this bitch. 

646
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:16,800
You took me from. 
And the amount of money I've and

647
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:21,280
the amount of money I've donated
to dog charities, Trust me, I'm 

648
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:23,520
going to heaven. 
If she's there, I'm fucking 

649
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,520
going. 
I've I've got a golden ticket. 

650
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:27,680
I actually do because you can. 
Do no right now. 

651
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:30,200
I've done a lot of charity work.
You're not the only one. 

652
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:35,000
You had no guide and it was just
not OK for you. 

653
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:37,600
I think honestly, sometimes when
you're in heartbreak, you can't 

654
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:38,760
see a light at the end of the 
tunnel. 

655
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:42,760
Like, as cliche as that sounds, 
you can't see a world that you 

656
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:45,600
will live and experience in 
without feeling that amount of 

657
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:46,920
pain. 
But. 

658
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,960
And because lesbians make so 
much. 

659
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:52,560
But can I just say one thing if 
somebody, and this especially 

660
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:55,320
goes for lesbian relationships 
as well if she doesn't want to 

661
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:57,560
fucking be with you. 
Right fucking go. 

662
00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:01,720
Let her go because actually it's
like, why on I look back at it 

663
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:06,040
and I why the fuck did I waste 
my time on someone who didn't 

664
00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:07,880
even want to be in the same 
fucking room as me? 

665
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:09,960
That is actually embarrassing on
me. 

666
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:11,040
It's not. 
Embarrassing. 

667
00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:12,920
But no. 
No, but it's but it's take 

668
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:14,159
control. 
Take control. 

669
00:34:14,159 --> 00:34:15,679
It's like they don't want to be 
with you. 

670
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:18,400
That's their problem. 
That's their loss. 

671
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:20,080
Oh my. 
Oh my God. 

672
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:22,760
Like why was I worrying? 
These again, but these 

673
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:24,600
experiences are just all a 
learning curve. 

674
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:27,600
They are, and it's growing. 
You have it's growing pains that

675
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:29,360
you will go for it. 
Everyone will make the mistake. 

676
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:31,880
Just make it once. 
Fine, make it again. 

677
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,280
You're a fucking idiot. 
And I'd love to hear because you

678
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:36,320
you've got something. 
And I say this because 

679
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:42,719
heartbreak, my heartbreak story 
is like one person, but multiple

680
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,040
heart breaks within that because
we broke up so many times and 

681
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:47,440
the relationship was very up and
down and tumultuous. 

682
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:53,000
This person had a, you know, the
person I was in a relationship 

683
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:56,000
had a massive hold on me. 
And I only see it now because 

684
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,320
I'm older and it was my first 
gay relationship. 

685
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:02,760
And I just, I was just young 
and, you know, in love with this

686
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:06,720
person and wasn't thinking about
what was right or wrong, was 

687
00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:09,520
just letting this person dictate
my whole life. 

688
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:15,520
So we went through, we got 
together and then randomly four 

689
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:19,280
months later she was like I 
don't want to be of you anymore 

690
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:21,720
whilst I was at my cleaning job.
Thank you, babe. 

691
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:25,320
And I was just crying in a in a 
Tesco's car park did it? 

692
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:26,440
Just come out of nowhere was 
that. 

693
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,400
Pretty much, yeah. 
Just like I don't think that 

694
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:30,280
we're right for each other, even
though everything was fine. 

695
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:32,920
And then I was crying into a 
prawn sandwich in a Tesco's car.

696
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,560
Park Prawn sandwich is the most 
rookie fucking sandwich that you

697
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,240
fuck the fuck off. 
I love prawn. 

698
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:39,480
Sandwiches from Tesco, 
especially the healthy living 

699
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:41,280
ones. 
I have had one before though 

700
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:44,560
that was and we won't talk about
that but generally I do love a 

701
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:46,880
prawn sandwich from Tesco. 
You imagine crying over a prawn 

702
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:49,800
sandwich, that is. 
Not over it into it. 

703
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:53,640
And my tears were adding extra 
salt that the housing living 

704
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:55,360
option was not fucking giving 
me. 

705
00:35:55,360 --> 00:36:00,680
OK, I remember that vividly. 
Then I was begging her to take 

706
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:03,240
me back. 
So again, similar thing. 

707
00:36:03,240 --> 00:36:05,320
I was like, well, I've got AT 
shirt of yours so I have to come

708
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:07,000
and see you. 
Not a soccer T-shirt. 

709
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:11,120
So took up the T-shirt, begged 
for a bat, got back together. 

710
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:14,080
This was I say this was the time
of Snapchat, but I know all the 

711
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:15,640
Gen Z's are using Snapchat again
now. 

712
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:17,640
So like this? 
Is when it fucking launched and 

713
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:19,760
people were using it yeah, the 
dog emoji or whatever the. 

714
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,360
Hell, so dog Philtre we got back
together, we were driving in the

715
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:24,880
car together and I was I saw a 
notification come up and I was 

716
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:28,080
like, don't recognise that name,
knew all this person's friends 

717
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:31,200
straight away. 
This person, for someone who 

718
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:35,440
lied so chronically, was the one
of the worst lies I've ever met 

719
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:38,000
in my whole life. 
She gave away in a second. 

720
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:42,760
So I was like right, well we're 
on the M5 so if you don't tell 

721
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:47,080
me who the fuck this is right 
now I will pull over on the hard

722
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:48,840
shoulder. 
It was dark and it was raining. 

723
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:52,320
You can get out my car. 
I'm so sure enough she fessed 

724
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:55,440
up. 
She had gone to London over 

725
00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:57,960
weekend, which I wasn't aware of
because she was living in Bath 

726
00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:02,040
at the time. 
Gone to a club, met a girl, made

727
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:05,720
out with the girl and instead of
coming clean then just dumped 

728
00:37:05,720 --> 00:37:08,560
me. 
So that was break up number one 

729
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:09,920
that we got through. 
Classic. 

730
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:11,600
Well, we didn't get through. 
I just took her back. 

731
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,920
And then there was like multiple
other times that similar things 

732
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:15,280
have. 
Happened. 

733
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:15,920
You know what? 
No, no. 

734
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:16,800
Do you know what makes that 
worse? 

735
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:20,880
So it is not so much the fact. 
Yeah, it's about shoot, right? 

736
00:37:21,720 --> 00:37:23,800
But she was obviously planning 
on doing that because she didn't

737
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:25,320
even tell you that she was going
to London. 

738
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:27,280
No, I had no idea. 
Yeah, it was worse. 

739
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:29,480
Again, it's not like I was like,
Oh yeah, I'm going out tonight. 

740
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,560
Do you know whoops I made out 
with someone like I from the get

741
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:34,040
go was like, you're not gonna 
know. 

742
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:36,520
I was always. 
It was it was the the plan was 

743
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:37,800
there. 
She's been speaking to Do you 

744
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:40,920
know what? 
Was what, 100% I But I saw that 

745
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:42,680
girl about six years later, a 
monkey. 

746
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:44,480
She didn't know who I was, but I
knew she was. 

747
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:46,120
And I thought, do I shove this 
coat? 

748
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:48,560
Hang her up your ass. 
And then I decided. 

749
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:50,200
Against it if I do anything. 
Wrong. 

750
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:51,600
She didn't. 
It's never actually the other 

751
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:53,320
girls, No. 
It's your axe. 

752
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:59,600
You know what was worse about 
that situation though is I I'd 

753
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:02,320
given her the money to go to 
London. 

754
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:04,760
She was like I have no money 
because she was at uni and I was

755
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:06,600
working because I didn't go to 
university. 

756
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:08,600
I actually just didn't have the 
privilege to go. 

757
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:11,880
Which is hilarious because she 
was in union with more privilege

758
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:13,720
and didn't have the money and I 
gave it to her whilst I was 

759
00:38:13,720 --> 00:38:18,480
working a cleaning job lol. 
And so I gave her the money to 

760
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:20,480
go and finger another girl. 
Love it. 

761
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:23,480
She didn't even. 
But I can't even fucking be 

762
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:25,360
there to join in. 
She didn't even give me the 

763
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:28,560
opportunity, which is a hate 
crime, so. 

764
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:31,000
Do you know how much she would 
have literally have shaved off 

765
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:34,160
all your hair at the time of a 
threesome if that situation ever

766
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:35,400
came? 
Like, not everyone is built for 

767
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:36,760
a threesome. 
Let's just put that out there 

768
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:37,120
that. 
Would. 

769
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:38,360
Oh no, I did have a foursome of 
that. 

770
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:41,160
Remember I did, yeah. 
But she started crying midway 

771
00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:42,280
through and went to the 
bathroom. 

772
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,280
That was weird. 
That ain't. 

773
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:46,240
Sexy at all? 
That would be the way to. 

774
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:49,000
About an open relationship, 
Polly kind of. 

775
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:52,840
That was breakup #1 gave her 
cash to go and finger another 

776
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:56,440
girl in London. 
Breakup. 

777
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:58,080
Do you know? 
There's so many I can't even 

778
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:02,320
remember but I will skip because
you know, we've taken so much 

779
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:06,320
fucking time already. 
Yeah, the main the main bit of 

780
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:07,600
your heartbreak. 
What was the? 

781
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:09,960
It actually I took her back 
after this, but it was 

782
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:13,200
definitely the beginning of the 
end was one night. 

783
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:18,400
We lived in separate locations 
and she was like, I am not in a 

784
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,440
good mental space. 
She did really suffer with her 

785
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:24,160
mental health, which you know, 
have a lot of empathy and 

786
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:27,880
compassion for because so do I, 
so do a lot of us, but don't use

787
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:30,040
it as an excuse to be a cunt. 
I'm just going to put that out 

788
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:33,640
there. 
She was like, I am having a 

789
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:36,080
really terrible time. 
So I'm just going to stay at 

790
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:38,480
home, relax and like be on my 
own basically. 

791
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:40,760
Like I'm not really going to be 
on my phone, not really going to

792
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:42,680
contact you. 
Even though she'd already 

793
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:44,080
cheated on me like 3 times 
before this. 

794
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:45,720
I was like, yeah. 
No. 

795
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:47,840
Worries you carry on my Do you 
want a? 

796
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:50,720
Cash flash riot. 
Yeah, do a favour. 

797
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:55,400
Anyway, time had passed and I 
just really hadn't heard from 

798
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:57,440
her, so I was panicking. 
I was really. 

799
00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:58,360
Panicking. 
I'm worried about her. 

800
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:03,600
Genuinely I was like like her 
mental health isn't good so I'm 

801
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:07,520
really concerned. 
So it'd been going on for a few 

802
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:10,480
hours and couldn't get couldn't,
didn't hear from her, didn't 

803
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:12,160
know where she was, didn't know 
what she was doing. 

804
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:14,960
So I ended up getting really 
desperate and messaging her 

805
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:18,160
sister and saying, look, can you
just let me know if she's in the

806
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:21,320
house and she's OK because I'm 
truly really worried. 

807
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:25,000
And she was like, oh, mum 
dropped her at the train station

808
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:28,720
a few hours ago. 
So I'm oh, for fuck sake. 

809
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:31,600
And I just say we had made 
friends with a couple of 

810
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:34,360
lesbians six months prior to 
this. 

811
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:38,520
And my girlfriend at the time 
and one of these girls were 

812
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:40,280
basically fucking in front of my
eyes. 

813
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:42,480
Like they'd basically be fucking
in front of my eyes. 

814
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:44,240
And I just didn't do anything 
about it. 

815
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:49,160
And so her sister was like, you.
Yeah. 

816
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,320
Mum dropped her at the train 
station, so I'm like, I know 

817
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:54,480
where this bitch has gone 
because this other guy lived in 

818
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:55,760
Essex. 
So I'm like, I know she's in 

819
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:58,120
fucking Essex. 
I know she's in the pair on 

820
00:40:58,120 --> 00:41:01,200
Southend on Sea right now and I 
probably know what she's doing. 

821
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:03,520
Still couldn't get hold of her 
for hours. 

822
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:07,440
So we mentioned in the last 
episode like lesbian detectives,

823
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:10,720
like any good lesbian detective 
would do, I guess. 

824
00:41:10,720 --> 00:41:13,520
The password to her Instagram 
within two tries. 

825
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:18,560
Two straight in there, straight 
in. 

826
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:20,680
Cheating cunt one O 1 
exclamation mark. 

827
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:26,040
Yeah, literally, I'm a wanker. 
Logged in to think. 

828
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:31,240
What I was going to find was, 
you know, a way to contact like 

829
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:35,160
someone in her friendship group 
or something, like find a number

830
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:37,480
because I didn't have any of her
friendship group numbers. 

831
00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:39,120
So just someone else to try and 
get hold of that. 

832
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:44,240
Oh, what I found was a lot more 
than that. 

833
00:41:44,240 --> 00:41:48,800
So not only did I know at this 
point she had gone to Essex to 

834
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:51,760
hang out and sleep with another 
girl behind my back who was 

835
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:54,920
meant to be my friend. 
No, no, no, this gets worse. 

836
00:41:55,400 --> 00:42:00,280
I logged into the Instagram 
unread messages from someone of 

837
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:02,880
an Instagram name that I'd never
recognised before. 

838
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:07,720
I opened the messages to 
discover this bitch. 

839
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:10,440
And you are a bitch. 
You're like, I don't even care. 

840
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:13,160
I've had two margaritas. 
So I wouldn't have said this at 

841
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:14,600
the start of the episode, but 
I'll say it now. 

842
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:20,360
Two year emotional relationship 
with someone in America. 

843
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:22,800
And do you? 
Do you know what? 

844
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:24,760
An emotional. 
I'm going to do. 

845
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:26,240
You know what? 
I'm going to offend so many 

846
00:42:26,240 --> 00:42:27,280
people now, and I don't give a 
fuck. 

847
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:29,760
Do you know what offended me so 
much about this? 

848
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:32,160
Do you know what they bonded 
over the most? 

849
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:33,760
Harry Potter. 
Oh. 

850
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:39,200
No. 
Not only was she cheating on me,

851
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:42,920
they're emotional. 
She's not only is she cheating 

852
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:45,200
on you, she's a fucking loser. 
She. 

853
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:49,560
Was like, I'm Slytherin and 
you're Gryffindor, I'm 

854
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,880
Hufflepuff I. 
Want to slithering your pussy? 

855
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:56,720
What a fucking daughter. 
That was like the biggest Dick 

856
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:58,120
ever. 
Like that would have sent me 

857
00:42:58,120 --> 00:42:59,880
wrong. 
I'm pretty sure fucking have 

858
00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:00,440
her. 
Honestly. 

859
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:02,920
I'm. 
Pretty sure the first message I 

860
00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:07,960
found was the girl in America 
had taken a photo of a Harry 

861
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:10,800
Potter book stand and was like 
thinking of you. 

862
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:14,560
Did it have like what's it 
called? 

863
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:17,080
Like a golden snitch? 
I bet it was a golden snitch. 

864
00:43:17,080 --> 00:43:19,000
Fucking. 
What are they called? 

865
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,720
She's a golden. 
Yeah, I opened these Instagram 

866
00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:27,640
messages to find they had this. 
I mean, I'm sure I, I assume it 

867
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:29,360
was online. 
They may, she may have come to 

868
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:31,200
the UK at some point and I 
didn't know because trust me, I 

869
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:34,160
wouldn't have fucking known 
because she was, she was 

870
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,560
Slytherin. 
I, I genuinely, I listen to this

871
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:38,760
and I think, my God, did you 
dodge a bullet? 

872
00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:40,640
Jesus Christ, don't I know that 
now? 

873
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:42,960
Did she cook for you every night
like I do? 

874
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:44,760
Oh, she did, but it wasn't on 
the same. 

875
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:46,360
No, I know the same level. 
Yeah. 

876
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:50,200
So it was so highly offensive 
that I was, you know, replaced 

877
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:55,680
by Harry Potter chat, although. 
Shit, must you have been? 

878
00:43:56,480 --> 00:44:00,680
To be fair, I was going to say 
that like it was my first 

879
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:04,080
lesbian relationship. 
I definitely was not perfect. 

880
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:06,720
I think I was quite emotionally 
shut off because even though I 

881
00:44:06,720 --> 00:44:10,400
was fully out and I didn't 
really have a traumatic coming 

882
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:13,200
out experience or anything like 
that, I do think I probably 

883
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:15,200
still had a lot of internalised 
homophobia. 

884
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:16,520
A. 
While to navigate and I also 

885
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:19,240
felt like when your frontal lobe
cortex is not. 

886
00:44:19,240 --> 00:44:22,760
Yes. 
So I think emotionally I was not

887
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:26,320
in the same place as this 
person, and that person probably

888
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:28,200
needed a little bit more 
emotionally for me. 

889
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,680
I'm not making excuses because 
you're a piece of shit for what 

890
00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:32,640
you've done. 
Yeah. 

891
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:36,200
And also then when we were both 
more mature, like, you still 

892
00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:38,960
fucked my best friend. 
So, you know, I'm not, I'm 

893
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:43,520
really not making excuses, but 
I, I can understand to a certain

894
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:45,200
degree why. 
But how did you feel? 

895
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:46,200
That's what we want to talk 
about. 

896
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:47,280
Like, so this is something, 
right? 

897
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:49,200
So that was the beginning of the
end. 

898
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,280
And then we kind of did break up
for ages and then we actually 

899
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:55,480
got back together for like 
another eight months after. 

900
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:57,800
But the relationship was just. 
It was. 

901
00:44:57,800 --> 00:44:59,640
Was this a separate Beds in Bali
moment? 

902
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:02,600
No. 
Oh, that was another red flag. 

903
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,240
That was actually before the 
Harry Potter. 

904
00:45:05,240 --> 00:45:06,800
Well, because she was trying to 
text her. 

905
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:09,320
And yeah, she was texting Harry 
Potter, yeah, which I obviously 

906
00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:11,400
didn't know at the time. 
She'd insist on us having 

907
00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:12,880
separate beds when we were 
travelling and who? 

908
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:15,360
Does that in a relationship. 
They're like, yeah, perfect, but

909
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:18,760
we'll have two separate beds. 
Literally 8 months after and 

910
00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:21,800
I'm, I was still quite in, I was
still, I was definitely still 

911
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:25,000
attached emotionally for sure. 
But the relationship was, was 

912
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:25,840
dead. 
Yeah. 

913
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:29,920
And then one day we met up on 
Oxford Street and like, it was 

914
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:31,640
just, it was right. 
I remember it so well. 

915
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:33,160
And it was raining and it was so
dead. 

916
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:36,240
And we were, we were both like, 
yeah, this is like, this is just

917
00:45:36,240 --> 00:45:40,760
so done. 
And that hit me really hard 

918
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:45,800
because there was no like. 
Reason at that point and that's.

919
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:50,080
Yeah, it was just, we both knew 
it was just done right and that 

920
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:54,360
was really hard. 
And then I, I went into real 

921
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:57,120
denial for a good a few weeks. 
So I was fine. 

922
00:45:57,120 --> 00:46:00,080
I cried on the day really badly.
And I was like, this is awful. 

923
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:02,240
I don't want to leave. 
I don't want to walk away from 

924
00:46:02,240 --> 00:46:05,280
your apartment because I'm so 
upset that I know when I shut 

925
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:08,400
the door, it's done. 
And then when I did shut the 

926
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:10,920
door, I pulled myself together 
quite quickly. 

927
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:17,520
But I think emotionally that 
took me about a good year, a 

928
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:19,800
year and a half to truly recover
from. 

929
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:23,680
And the biggest mistake I made 
was I went into something else 

930
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:26,400
after thinking I was over it. 
You know, it wasn't like I was 

931
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:29,080
intentionally rushing to get 
another girlfriend because I 

932
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:30,800
wasn't. 
But I did end up getting another

933
00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:36,920
girlfriend and that was a labour
of love and its own separate 

934
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:41,800
kind of right. 
I definitely was traumatised by 

935
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:43,960
that. 
But one thing I will say because

936
00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:49,760
it's been really quite sleep and
I know how hard it is that if 

937
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:52,760
you're going through this right 
now or if you know you do go in 

938
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:55,040
the future, you go through it in
the past, you'll be able to 

939
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:59,320
relate to this. 
I will never forget there was 1 

940
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:07,120
morning where I just woke up and
you almost get so comfortable in

941
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:11,760
your pain that you just expect 
to feel pain all the time. 

942
00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:16,840
And I remember there was one day
that I woke up and I expected 

943
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:20,480
for that that thing to hit me in
my stomach and to hit me in my 

944
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:23,920
heart and to feel upset and 
awful. 

945
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:26,120
When you listen to like a 
certain song or something you 

946
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:27,960
inspected like all your fucking 
eyes, I. 

947
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:30,800
Just have to pull, like pull 
myself through another day. 

948
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:34,360
And it was such an incredible 
feeling because I woke up and I 

949
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:39,360
was like, I'm OK. 
Yeah, Oh my God, I feel OK. 

950
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:43,560
And it was the most, it was 
actually sad in a way, because 

951
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:47,880
then you get so almost attached 
to your heartbreak because it's 

952
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:49,840
still a part of the love for the
person, right? 

953
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:51,840
And also. 
We're both such creature of 

954
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:53,640
habits. 
I feel like that just becomes 

955
00:47:53,720 --> 00:47:56,200
part of the. 
Reason of the habit. 11 AM Cry. 

956
00:47:56,480 --> 00:47:59,200
And then I woke up and I didn't 
feel like that anymore and I was

957
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:05,120
like, I can get up and face the 
day and feel fine. 

958
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:10,080
I feel OK. 
And that was the most, and it 

959
00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:11,440
took me a long time to get 
there. 

960
00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:14,800
So if you're going through it 
and, you know, lesbian 

961
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:18,160
relationships, they are 
literally your best friend. 

962
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:20,040
They're very intense. 
When you're in a lesbian 

963
00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:22,200
relationship, it is so intense. 
It's so full on. 

964
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:25,080
It's so everything that when 
that goes, it's almost like, you

965
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:27,280
know when you've got like an 
extractor fan on in your cooking

966
00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:29,920
and it's so fucking loud and 
you're cooking and then you 

967
00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:31,920
suddenly turn it off and you 
didn't realise how loud it was 

968
00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:33,520
and you're like, oh. 
It's oh shit, yeah. 

969
00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:35,760
Oh fuck. 
Yeah, What am I going to do? 

970
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:37,600
Where do I go? 
What do I? 

971
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:40,720
Yes, I mean, and it's also 
because it is way more stark, 

972
00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:43,520
especially I think when we went 
through our breakups when I go 

973
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:46,520
on Tinder and I'd see the 
lesbians on there like there 

974
00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:48,840
weren't many for a start. 
I fucking cleared them all in 

975
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:50,520
like 5. 
Yeah, and then you're like, I 

976
00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:52,760
know that these people are 
suitable for me, so fuck, I'm 

977
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:54,200
going to be single for the rest 
of my life because. 

978
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:58,200
The pool was way smaller and 
you're like, oh, fantastic. 

979
00:48:58,200 --> 00:48:59,480
Yeah, yeah. 
Like, yeah. 

980
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:02,400
And I think that that's, that's 
what kind of like hurts so much 

981
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:05,800
because you get so accustomed to
this person literally being a 

982
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:10,960
fucking backpack in your life 
and just complete companionship.

983
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:13,520
Version of you. 
They've become another version. 

984
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:17,520
Of you I honestly like and I 
love you so much and I, I would 

985
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:19,680
love to say that I'm not going 
to be absolutely psychotic when 

986
00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:21,000
we break up because I would be 
very. 

987
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:25,200
What do you mean when you meant 
say if if go fuck me, you've 

988
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:28,920
just you shagging in America, 
then it's got to be someone. 

989
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:31,000
We're into Call of Duty, 
actually, both of us. 

990
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:33,200
We met on that better than Harry
Potter. 

991
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:40,600
On Call of Duty speaking on one 
V1 no if Jesus, if we ever broke

992
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:44,760
up, I know I'd be I know I'd be 
bad but but mainly because it 

993
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:48,760
like I love you so much, but we 
have also built. 

994
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:51,360
So much life. 
Together we are like a married 

995
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:53,280
couple, just without the fucking
stupid. 

996
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:55,280
And don't expect me to propose 
to anytime soon. 

997
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:56,920
No, no, no, no. 
I don't want you to. 

998
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:58,400
But I'm saying that yes, I do 
actually. 

999
00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:02,480
But I but. 
It's not happening because my 

1000
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:05,600
ass is not dropping money on an 
engagement ring anytime. 

1001
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:07,600
Soon, that engagement ring 
better be. 

1002
00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:09,480
Still not coming. 
It's probably still not gonna 

1003
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:11,360
come. 
But if we get a sign. 

1004
00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:13,000
On I wanna be engaged for a good
ten years. 

1005
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:14,040
It's not like I want the 
marriage. 

1006
00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:17,880
I just 20 but. 20 Let's 
negotiate. 

1007
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:21,520
Shut up. 
But what I'm saying is we have 

1008
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:24,040
all of the commitment possible 
that we could ever actually 

1009
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:25,520
physically forget. 
We got a job together. 

1010
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:28,240
We got a fucking house together.
We got a dog together. 

1011
00:50:28,240 --> 00:50:30,880
The dog dog's mind like Ziggy, 
Baby no. 

1012
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:32,360
The dog's mind. 
Let's not start this. 

1013
00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:35,360
Let's not start this. 
They don't. 

1014
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:38,240
Let's not even go there, OK? 
Ziggy is the love of my life. 

1015
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:39,400
Really. 
Truly. 

1016
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:40,560
Yeah, he might be the love of 
your. 

1017
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:42,800
He's in the back of my mind if I
ever think about doing anything,

1018
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:45,200
but I'm not love his. 
And you know that deep down. 

1019
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:47,880
Who does he kiss first in the 
morning? 

1020
00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:50,440
Yeah, because I say to him, go 
and kiss mother. 

1021
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:52,800
I actually because. 
He's following my demand. 

1022
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:57,040
I actually come on, you do that.
Oh, so Fred, you can't even 

1023
00:50:57,040 --> 00:50:59,040
fucking walk the dog down the 
street with me without him 

1024
00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:00,120
looking at me. 
Like please take. 

1025
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:03,080
Yeah, because it's routine. 
It's usually you fucking walking

1026
00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:05,000
him. 
That's why it's not because I'm 

1027
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:07,520
just shut up anyway, that's all 
I'm talking about. 

1028
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:11,680
But but no, I I'm now in like a 
situation where yeah, I can look

1029
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:15,800
back at that, but I have also 
learnt, Yep, those lessons of if

1030
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:18,440
you are really heartbroken, like
I said, that person doesn't want

1031
00:51:18,440 --> 00:51:21,920
you, fucking let them free, let 
them go because that stops the 

1032
00:51:21,920 --> 00:51:24,400
games. 
I hate game players because take

1033
00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:26,880
their power back because. 
Then they'll go what you want to

1034
00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:29,200
leave a lot. 
Of you just break up me. 

1035
00:51:29,240 --> 00:51:31,320
Issues are because you feel 
powerless. 

1036
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:36,520
You, you can take the power, 
fuck it off, block quick, just 

1037
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:37,760
move on. 
Just move on. 

1038
00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:39,600
Why? 
Don't Why would you want to be 

1039
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:42,280
with someone that even if you're
not breaking up, if you're 

1040
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:45,800
arguing all the time and you're 
happy, why waste your life? 

1041
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:50,400
Like it sounds so like basic 
preach Instagram quote life is 

1042
00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:53,440
too short. 
But truly, yeah, if it was 

1043
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:55,520
arguing all the time, as much as
I'd love you, I'd be like fuck 

1044
00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:56,480
me. 
Yeah, life. 

1045
00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:58,880
And we did go through that phase
where we were arguing all the 

1046
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:00,320
time and. 
Then we're just we're 

1047
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:01,720
backtracking on our own. 
Yeah, but it. 

1048
00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:03,680
No, but it was. 
Just either sort it out. 

1049
00:52:03,720 --> 00:52:06,040
Or you either sort it out 
because you can sort it out 

1050
00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:09,400
through thorough communication, 
and if you cannot communicate on

1051
00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:11,200
that level with that person 
without them flipping their 

1052
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:13,280
shit. 
But we worked it out as well 

1053
00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:15,640
because I knew deep down that 
you and my person, I wouldn't 

1054
00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:17,080
have worked it out with a lot of
other people. 

1055
00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:19,280
So if you have that, you know, 
you will know if you've got that

1056
00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:20,920
thing in your gut, well, you 
know, it's not your forever 

1057
00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:22,920
person. 
Stop wasting your time, guys. 

1058
00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:26,640
We're now going to go into the 
to the latest Horror Story. 

1059
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:28,360
I say the latest. 
This one was actually sent a few

1060
00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:30,880
weeks ago. 
But the other horror stories 

1061
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:32,960
that we'd read out kind of tied 
more into the episodes. 

1062
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:35,120
We've been sitting on this one 
and whilst we've been sitting on

1063
00:52:35,120 --> 00:52:37,440
it, like I'm not going to sit 
here and pretend I've not read 

1064
00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:38,800
this before. 
I'm Freya hasn't read this 

1065
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:42,800
before because we have and we've
had multiple conversations about

1066
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:46,760
trying to work this out and we 
haven't been able to work so we.

1067
00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:48,760
Want to hear? 
Like European, we want to hear 

1068
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:50,560
European. 
We will give ours first. 

1069
00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:54,880
So let me read this to you. 
Hi, my name's Anya. 

1070
00:52:55,240 --> 00:52:58,040
I don't mind my name being used 
for the purpose of this story. 

1071
00:52:58,120 --> 00:52:59,840
Let's keep everyone else's name 
fake. 

1072
00:53:00,320 --> 00:53:04,520
So I'm in my final year of uni 
and every Saturday my uni does a

1073
00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:07,080
club night which literally 
everyone goes to. 

1074
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:10,680
Me and my housemates went out 
last week and I really didn't 

1075
00:53:10,680 --> 00:53:14,160
have any intentions of getting 
in with anyone because I've just

1076
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:16,840
become newly single. 
By the way guys if it sounds 

1077
00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:19,040
like I'm struggling to read 
this, sorry Anya love you but 

1078
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:21,840
you've got a lot of typos in 
here and so This is why I'm 

1079
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:25,880
struggling. 
Me and my housemates went out 

1080
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:28,240
last week and I didn't have any 
intentions of getting with 

1081
00:53:28,240 --> 00:53:31,480
anyone because I've just newly 
become single. 

1082
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:34,280
We got to the club and 
everything was normal, just 

1083
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:36,320
getting drinks and shots, all 
good. 

1084
00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:39,440
We head to the dance floor and 
at this point I see the 

1085
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:42,760
prettiest girl looking and 
making dough eyes at me. 

1086
00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:46,320
Let's call her Eve. 
Love that killing Eve. 

1087
00:53:46,320 --> 00:53:49,160
Jodie Comer. 
One thing led to another and we 

1088
00:53:49,160 --> 00:53:51,640
ended up getting off whilst all 
of my friends cheered on. 

1089
00:53:51,720 --> 00:53:56,280
I had finally rebounded, we got 
so frisky and I got extremely 

1090
00:53:56,280 --> 00:54:00,200
horny so suggested she came back
to mine and immediately she 

1091
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:03,200
agreed. 
Me and Eve get back to mine but 

1092
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:05,120
by this point I was slightly 
pissed. 

1093
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:08,760
We started having sex which 
begins kind of clumsy but then 

1094
00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:11,880
we really get into it. 
She goes down on me and honestly

1095
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:13,920
it's the best sex I've had in a 
while. 

1096
00:54:14,440 --> 00:54:18,600
Then Eve whispers sit on my face
which I then proceed to do. 

1097
00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:23,360
There I am, riding this girl's 
face, about to have I'm sorry, 

1098
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:29,280
about to have the best orgasm of
my life, when I hear a gurgling 

1099
00:54:29,280 --> 00:54:33,800
sound from under me, almost like
someone is drowning. 

1100
00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:38,760
I look down to see Eve, soaking 
wet, like to wet. 

1101
00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:44,160
It didn't make any sense. 
Then a hot wave of realisation 

1102
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,920
came over me. 
I was kind of drunk so in that 

1103
00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:51,080
moment I'd mistaken my orgasm 
for a piss. 

1104
00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:59,480
I fully pissed on her face. 
I began apologising immediately 

1105
00:54:59,760 --> 00:55:01,680
and then she realised what I had
done. 

1106
00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:05,200
She kind of said it was OK but 
then proceeded to use my shower,

1107
00:55:05,480 --> 00:55:09,160
put her clothes on and literally
ran out of the door. 

1108
00:55:09,600 --> 00:55:13,040
I am so embarrassed and I don't 
know what to do next. 

1109
00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:14,880
It's been about a week since it 
happened. 

1110
00:55:14,880 --> 00:55:16,680
Sorry babe, we're only just 
reading it out and giving your 

1111
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:19,240
advice now. 
It's only been a week since that

1112
00:55:19,240 --> 00:55:21,920
happened but I can't stop 
thinking about how good she made

1113
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:24,280
me feel. 
Do I text her? 

1114
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:27,080
I really liked it and I don't 
know what to do. 

1115
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:30,800
Please help. 
Anya, babe. 

1116
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:34,320
Fucking. 
I love this story so much 

1117
00:55:34,320 --> 00:55:36,280
because it's so multifaceted, 
right? 

1118
00:55:36,280 --> 00:55:39,720
Yeah. 
So it's like my first instinct 

1119
00:55:39,720 --> 00:55:41,920
goes to you didn't piss, I 
didn't. 

1120
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:43,800
Squirt on her. 
She squirted on her a lot. 

1121
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:46,160
You just said that that was the 
best orgasm of your life. 

1122
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:48,640
Yeah, that was a fucking squirt.
Because I thought you've really 

1123
00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:50,280
got to think about going for a 
wee. 

1124
00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:53,160
I don't know about anyone else. 
You get the pressure when you're

1125
00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:55,240
like, oh, I'm going to actively 
pee. 

1126
00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:57,240
Yeah. 
And it's a different sense. 

1127
00:55:57,240 --> 00:55:59,960
It's a very different sensation 
of when you're squirting and 

1128
00:55:59,960 --> 00:56:02,200
when you're pissing. 
Like when you are having a piss,

1129
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:07,000
you like really feel it, whereas
you can have sex and like you 

1130
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:09,400
feel yourself squirting. 
Sorry straight girls, you 

1131
00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:12,840
probably don't, but you feel 
yourself squirting and it's a 

1132
00:56:12,840 --> 00:56:15,880
very different, it's a very 
different feeling. 

1133
00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:25,880
Also, if that bitch is gurgling,
she's either the best lesbian in

1134
00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:27,840
the world. 
She powered through that. 

1135
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:29,800
You're we. 
Yeah, but OK, so. 

1136
00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:30,800
You. 
No, no, but she can't be that 

1137
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:33,280
way because she ran out the door
like because now for me. 

1138
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:38,040
I'd love it. 
Oh, what I'm saying is, she must

1139
00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:39,720
be fucking incredible in bed, 
right? 

1140
00:56:39,720 --> 00:56:41,760
Because she must. 
Be I know a lot of girls who 

1141
00:56:41,760 --> 00:56:45,640
squirt for someone to be 
gurgling though Jesus Christ. 

1142
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:51,680
Yeah, but also like, let me just
no physics because she is lying 

1143
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:53,520
down and this girl is on top of 
her. 

1144
00:56:53,680 --> 00:56:57,080
Usually Squirt literally will 
like fucking fly across the room

1145
00:56:57,080 --> 00:57:00,280
whereas if you are directly it's
going to go straight down the 

1146
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:02,520
mouth. 
Yeah, so. 

1147
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:04,560
I. 
Love it, Anya I. 

1148
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:07,640
Think legend. 
Own it, because I really, truly 

1149
00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:09,560
do not think you're pissed. 
I think you squirt for the first

1150
00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:11,040
time in. 
Your but even if you did piss 

1151
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:18,600
own it still just message around
me like hello toilet like what 

1152
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:20,960
do you do at that point? 
This is. 

1153
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:24,640
Yeah, it's been a week and I 
need a fucking piss. 

1154
00:57:24,640 --> 00:57:26,960
This is my and. 
Potty and potty mouth. 

1155
00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:31,760
No, I also wouldn't mind if a 
fuck. 

1156
00:57:32,600 --> 00:57:35,600
If a hot girl pissed in my 
mouth, wouldn't care. 

1157
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:38,400
No, OK, I've been go for it. 
So Anya. 

1158
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:41,200
Let me be your own it, babe. 
I don't think you pissed, but 

1159
00:57:41,200 --> 00:57:45,000
even if you did own it, I do 
think you squirted probably a 

1160
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:47,560
lot for the first time in your 
life, and so you're mistaken. 

1161
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:49,400
You don't realise that you're 
squirting when you're squirting,

1162
00:57:49,400 --> 00:57:52,600
but you realise when you piss. 
Like I feel like you're, you're 

1163
00:57:52,600 --> 00:57:55,280
less likely to realise. 
It's very different if you were 

1164
00:57:55,280 --> 00:57:59,240
going for a wee. 
So it's just incredible. 

1165
00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:02,240
This whole story is amazing. 
I don't know why she. 

1166
00:58:02,240 --> 00:58:03,440
Rapped. 
I don't know why she left. 

1167
00:58:03,600 --> 00:58:05,800
That's the part that I don't 
understand, because. 

1168
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:09,320
Because if she let it go on for 
so long that she was gurgling, 

1169
00:58:09,800 --> 00:58:15,240
she must have liked it. 
Yeah, also, if that starts to 

1170
00:58:15,240 --> 00:58:18,640
happen, you get a bit like, oh 
Jesus, just flip her, turn 

1171
00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:21,720
around and top her. 
Don't stay underneath, right. 

1172
00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:25,600
Like she had a choice. 
No, so she had a choice to just 

1173
00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:28,920
manoeuvre the situation so she 
wasn't having to gurgle. 

1174
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:33,800
So this oh, sorry, I just can't 
even give feedback because this 

1175
00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:37,600
situation is so incredible. 
But what I would say is you 

1176
00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:40,040
squirt for the first time in 
your life that much. 

1177
00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:44,360
Maybe you've squirt before, but 
that much I think you got 

1178
00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:46,760
uncomfortable, which made the 
girl maybe a bit uncomfortable. 

1179
00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:48,560
Maybe she might have felt like 
she'd done something wrong, 

1180
00:58:48,560 --> 00:58:50,320
which is kind of why she got up 
and left. 

1181
00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:55,240
But what I would say, my advice 
on this one would be I probably 

1182
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:57,480
wouldn't message her. 
I wouldn't either. 

1183
00:58:57,560 --> 00:59:01,560
Because I don't think no matter 
what, for what reason she left. 

1184
00:59:01,560 --> 00:59:05,680
I don't think it's good any like
either scenario. 

1185
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:08,720
So she either left because she 
didn't like the fact that you 

1186
00:59:08,720 --> 00:59:11,000
made her gurgle. 
She was like, I'm in the fuck 

1187
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:11,280
out. 
She's. 

1188
00:59:11,320 --> 00:59:13,000
A fucking loser. 
That's why she left. 

1189
00:59:13,480 --> 00:59:16,240
But she left or because you were
uncomfortable. 

1190
00:59:16,240 --> 00:59:18,440
Because you found uncomfortable.
Either way she should have just 

1191
00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:19,640
sat down and been up. 
It's fucking. 

1192
00:59:19,640 --> 00:59:21,080
Fine. 
I want to know actually, Anya, 

1193
00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:23,880
how did you respond after you 
saw her gurgling? 

1194
00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:26,640
Were you like, oh, I just pushed
CPR? 

1195
00:59:27,080 --> 00:59:28,760
What did you do? 
Did you say, oh, I just pushed 

1196
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:30,840
your mouth? 
Mouth to mouth. 

1197
00:59:34,640 --> 00:59:36,920
Yeah, literally double lip to 
lip. 

1198
00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:39,080
Yeah. 
Like, what did you say in that 

1199
00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:41,240
moment? 
Because I would have been like, 

1200
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:44,920
Oh my fucking God. 
And then if I was a guy on the 

1201
00:59:44,920 --> 00:59:47,040
bottom, I would have been like, 
I'm a fucking guy just. 

1202
00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:50,240
Reminded me of something that 
I'd done and how I reacted. 

1203
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:55,360
It's like it's not even that 
bad, but like because this 

1204
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:59,360
person was quite shy, it was 
quite bad that I was. 

1205
01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:06,760
Having sex with someone once and
it was like not like kinky rough

1206
01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:11,760
sex it was just like vanilla and
I don't know why I'd done this 

1207
01:00:11,760 --> 01:00:18,080
but out of nowhere I slapped her
ass so fucking hard that she 

1208
01:00:18,080 --> 01:00:21,240
went oh and then she like hung 
back up. 

1209
01:00:21,760 --> 01:00:24,160
Like a cat. 
So kind of similar and I just 

1210
01:00:24,160 --> 01:00:25,160
went. 
Sorry. 

1211
01:00:25,960 --> 01:00:28,240
And carried on. 
Sorry, Joe, one thing that I 

1212
01:00:28,240 --> 01:00:30,880
would say just never apologise 
during sex, like unless you've 

1213
01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:35,520
done something really fucking 
wild, OK, but I mean like if 

1214
01:00:35,520 --> 01:00:37,480
you're if you're in a situation 
where like the other person's 

1215
01:00:37,480 --> 01:00:39,760
having fun. 
Oh sorry, that kind of ruins me 

1216
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:41,680
A. 
Little bit if you're having to 

1217
01:00:41,720 --> 01:00:44,600
apologise. 
Oh, look, OK, I'm saying this in

1218
01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:49,640
a very like I, we're going to 
ask you about this when you come

1219
01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:50,800
on. 
I can't wait. 

1220
01:00:52,920 --> 01:00:57,240
Yeah, we'll just read it out. 
But I if if it's within reason 

1221
01:00:57,240 --> 01:00:59,720
like slapping the ass, just 
fucking own it to. 

1222
01:00:59,720 --> 01:01:02,200
Be fair and yeah, if you and 
this girl have spoken since, 

1223
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:05,200
don't take our advice. 
It's like absolute Bible. 

1224
01:01:05,200 --> 01:01:06,920
Obviously, if you've spoken 
since and worked out and. 

1225
01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:08,760
If you want to do it, do it. 
It's fine. 

1226
01:01:08,760 --> 01:01:12,400
But my opinion my my yeah, I 
personally message and you 

1227
01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:14,880
probably did squirt because you 
were quite drunk as well. 

1228
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:16,960
So like you felt a little bit 
more free, relaxed, a bit more 

1229
01:01:16,960 --> 01:01:18,120
relaxed. 
You were having fun. 

1230
01:01:18,120 --> 01:01:20,280
It was great work. 
Because a lot of girls often 

1231
01:01:20,280 --> 01:01:22,320
can't squirt because they're 
like, too uptight, they're too 

1232
01:01:22,320 --> 01:01:23,760
worried about it, they're 
overthinking. 

1233
01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:25,200
They're too worried that they're
gonna we. 

1234
01:01:25,480 --> 01:01:30,080
And probably the position as 
well of being on top cause the 

1235
01:01:30,080 --> 01:01:32,240
squirt more. 
True, I'm going to try. 

1236
01:01:32,240 --> 01:01:34,840
It it's just so good. 
Love that shit. 

1237
01:01:34,840 --> 01:01:38,000
What? 
Dripping Karen's squirt Dripping

1238
01:01:38,080 --> 01:01:40,000
Karen's squirt Karen's if. 
Karen's doing nothing. 

1239
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:41,280
Would they be Karen's? 
No. 

1240
01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:45,880
I mean would kill. 
Them I feel like this should be 

1241
01:01:45,880 --> 01:01:47,560
a charity we should start. 
It is Karen, Squirt. 

1242
01:01:48,880 --> 01:01:50,960
Squirt, this is how. 
And they might just fucking 

1243
01:01:50,960 --> 01:01:53,080
cheer up and stop being. 
And again, going back to Jesus, 

1244
01:01:53,080 --> 01:01:57,560
this is how we push back to the 
to the Christians telling us or 

1245
01:01:57,560 --> 01:02:01,120
any religion telling us that 
we're not going to heaven is if 

1246
01:02:01,120 --> 01:02:03,600
we set up the Karen Squirt 
charity. 

1247
01:02:04,200 --> 01:02:07,720
Absolutely. 
Lesbians making Karen squirt, 

1248
01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:11,520
Yeah. 11 Karen at a time. 
One way to came up baby heaven 

1249
01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:13,120
baby. 
I'm off. 

1250
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:15,880
One way ticket to heaven. 
Who says I want to go? 

1251
01:02:15,880 --> 01:02:17,960
Hospitality managers. 
I want to go to hell. 

1252
01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:19,720
We've been to hell multiple 
times. 

1253
01:02:19,720 --> 01:02:21,440
I've been to fucking heaven in 
Sheba. 

1254
01:02:22,800 --> 01:02:25,880
I've been to hell and I love it.
I. 

1255
01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:28,240
It's sweaty down there. 
It is hot. 

1256
01:02:28,240 --> 01:02:29,320
I love. 
It down there. 

1257
01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:31,680
Do you think that I'm worried 
that I might be going to hell? 

1258
01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:34,000
I live it most fucking we. 
Like the heat? 

1259
01:02:34,160 --> 01:02:39,240
Cunt, I'm there. 
So with the horror stories, we 

1260
01:02:39,240 --> 01:02:42,080
want more and more. 
So please feel free to e-mail 

1261
01:02:42,080 --> 01:02:43,840
it. 
We've got our e-mail in the link

1262
01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:46,600
below. 
So give us all your best because

1263
01:02:46,600 --> 01:02:48,880
nothing is too rogue as far as 
we're concerned. 

1264
01:02:48,880 --> 01:02:51,760
So we love to have a little chat
about it and we have a chat with

1265
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:53,240
you as well, which is really, 
really great. 

1266
01:02:54,920 --> 01:02:59,080
And beyond, beyond stories, like
any topics you guys want us to 

1267
01:02:59,080 --> 01:03:02,680
cover as well, just let us know.
Complete over. 

1268
01:03:02,680 --> 01:03:05,800
We've got a few in the back 
pocket, but more the merrier. 

1269
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:08,640
And that's everything for. 
I think that is everything for 

1270
01:03:08,640 --> 01:03:11,520
episode. 4. 
Of how lesbian supper club 

1271
01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:16,280
podcast again, guys, this is 
going fucking crazy. 

1272
01:03:16,280 --> 01:03:19,520
Like we can't keep up. 
You're all legends. 

1273
01:03:19,520 --> 01:03:21,800
Like the support has been 
insane. 

1274
01:03:21,800 --> 01:03:24,800
And honestly, I'm trying, we're 
trying to come back to every 

1275
01:03:24,800 --> 01:03:28,120
single one of you because like, 
you're all amazing and I 

1276
01:03:28,240 --> 01:03:31,200
genuinely want to give you all 
of our heartfelt kind of thank 

1277
01:03:31,200 --> 01:03:32,400
you. 
Just know that it's all really 

1278
01:03:32,400 --> 01:03:34,800
appreciated. 
But we just keep going. 

1279
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:37,720
Lesbians are going to take over 
the fucking world one day. 

1280
01:03:38,560 --> 01:03:43,240
Believe me, I'm going to reverse
climate change and I'm going to 

1281
01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:45,160
get rid of. 
Turf. 

1282
01:03:45,640 --> 01:03:47,560
Yeah, abolish turf. 
No, Do you know what? 

1283
01:03:47,560 --> 01:03:49,760
You can't abolish turf unless 
you abolish all the people, 

1284
01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:52,880
which is a whole other story. 
But what I'm going to do is I'm 

1285
01:03:52,880 --> 01:03:55,600
going to buy Wikipedia, I'm 
going to delete those 

1286
01:03:55,600 --> 01:03:57,840
paragraphs, and I'm just going 
to put turf. 

1287
01:03:58,240 --> 01:03:59,720
I'm a cunt. 
I think you can. 

1288
01:03:59,720 --> 01:04:01,880
That's it for today. 
That's it for today. 

1289
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:03,120
Everything. 
Thanks everyone. 

1290
01:04:03,120 --> 01:04:06,280
Thank you so much. 
Bye, love you.