1 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:16,520 Hello everyone, welcome to this week's episode of the Lesbian 2 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:19,440 Supper Club podcast. We're back in the swing of 3 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:24,280 bringing our voices and antics to you on the Weekly, so I hope 4 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:26,520 you're happy and feeling grateful about that. 5 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:28,960 Yeah, you better be feeling grateful right now. 6 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:32,040 You better be grateful. You better be enjoying this real 7 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:37,840 good straight up. Katy Fucking Perry What is going 8 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,920 on with Katy Perry I. Knew. 9 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:43,880 It well, yeah, all the signs were there. 10 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:46,640 I mean, she was. She was single handedly one of 11 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:51,480 my gay awakenings like I Kissed a girl was I remember listening 12 00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:53,360 to that song for the first time. And. 13 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:58,760 Being like wow, wow I. Was going to say something 14 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:01,200 naughty. And I think Katy Perry in that 15 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:07,080 era, I fantasised about having sex with her on average 30 times 16 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:09,600 a day. Why are you masturbating? 17 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:17,200 Oh 100% it goes without saying I I do you know what is sick and 18 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:21,920 twisted about me though? Multiple things, but Teenage 19 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:24,520 Dream, the video, music video didn't do it for me. 20 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:26,880 Really. I kissed a girl. 21 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,760 It didn't really do it for me. Do you know the one that done it 22 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:32,080 for me? What is the one where it's like 23 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:34,800 compare? Yeah. 24 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:39,200 Sons where she's like grieving a man yeah right, she's like. 25 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:42,600 Crying, I'm like, oh, I'll have sex with you. 26 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:48,000 I need to go to therapy. That's, I mean, I think she. 27 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:50,760 Fell off the radar, didn't she? Katy Perry, for quite a while? 28 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,320 I think she, I mean, she didn't, she's always been up there. 29 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:56,520 But I think the lesbian radar died down. 30 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,520 Yeah. And then suddenly, that 31 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,000 motherfucker. Shows up. 32 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:07,880 On like gay icon a Fletcher's Instagram everywhere Yeah, in 33 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:11,240 like the queerest fucking get up you've ever seen. 34 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:14,760 Her in that hiking outfit OH is essentially the funniest fucking 35 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,440 thing I've ever seen. That she's got the Jimmy Savile 36 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:22,640 sunglasses, The cap? No, but it looks like me. 37 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,680 That's what I look like every morning getting my coffee. 38 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:29,160 I need a T-shirt. That's the year of the lesbians. 39 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:32,200 Sometimes when I'm walking next to you, I think I'm going to 40 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:35,120 create at least a 5 metre gap. Do you know what, Ben? 41 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,640 Hope that you don't. I don't blame you, but also this 42 00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:41,000 morning you were walking around in a bleached Adenola hoodie. 43 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:45,680 I'm sorry but I thought my fit this morning was very not in. 44 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:48,000 Hill even remember what you were wearing. 45 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,000 I was wearing that Adenola hoodie which I don't even like 46 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,520 anymore. No, but we've got no other 47 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:56,880 decent hoodies. Actually Quiz, can you drop us 48 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,200 some good brands that sell hoodies? 49 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,600 Because I really struggled to find them and I'm I'm off the 50 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,680 Adenola ones. Sorry, I'm going to say I am. 51 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:05,920 Well, do you know why I'm going to blame Soph Kalashian for this 52 00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:08,000 one? Because as soon as she bought so 53 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:11,240 I don't know if you guys have seen already but the icon which 54 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:15,000 is Soph Kalashian who does all of the impressions of TikTok 55 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,960 lesbians which are fucking hilarious on TikTok right? 56 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:20,080 She's a great guy if. It's TikTok. 57 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:21,800 Lesbian. It's going to be on TikTok, 58 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,360 isn't it? Did I say TikTok Lesbian on 59 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:24,720 TikTok? Yeah, because I'm old. 60 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:26,920 All right? I saw that she that Adenola 61 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:29,000 hoodie and I remember it was it was. 62 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,480 Actually I was like, you've ruined it for me. 63 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:34,240 No, you said do not wear this. And do TikTok lesbians. 64 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:37,000 And she did. And now she's worn it, I think 65 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:40,560 more so yeah, the video, yeah, 100%. 66 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:43,360 You fucked it, now this. Morning, though, I was wearing 67 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:49,160 the Adenola hoodie, my large oversized Adidas football 68 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:50,080 shorts. Love those. 69 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,760 Fucking love white socks pulled up. 70 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,720 Yeah, and a pair of clogs. I don't. 71 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:58,600 I think it looks great. I think I'm giving like. 72 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:01,560 You say claw mummy, I I imagine these Dutch. 73 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,560 No, you know, like the Berkoff deals, but I've got the knockoff 74 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,880 version from ASOS which cost me £17.00 and a bloody brilliant, 75 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:11,000 yeah. Bloody bloody, bloody like. 76 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,680 It's very Ron Weasley of me wasn't. 77 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,680 Bloody, bloody brilliant. It sounds like you're like an 78 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:17,800 American trying to speak in an English accent. 79 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,360 Bloody. Yeah, I think I'm giving like 80 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,000 rich mummy in that. I'm not. 81 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,280 I'm giving crack mummy, but I'll take it. 82 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,480 I'm always cracking. Yeah, Katy Perry. 83 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:32,280 Katy Perry Look, so I think that this all stems because if you 84 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:35,400 think about was it 2008 when she released I Kissed a girl? 85 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,480 It was around that time. 2009 I think 2009 two thousand that 86 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,960 anyway, when she released that song that was obviously like 87 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,960 super unheard of, like no one, even though it was like I kissed 88 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:47,840 a girl and I liked it doesn't mean I'm falling in love, like 89 00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:49,080 it's fine, but I'm still kissing her. 90 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,680 That was even though it was so kind of like problematic. 91 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:54,440 It was the first ever song that was ever mainstream that was 92 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,360 like so queer in that sense, right. 93 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:01,920 And so that only says to me is she must have been a lot gayer 94 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:05,280 than she put on to have released a song like that, because you 95 00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:08,160 wouldn't, if you were straight, release a song like that. 96 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:11,240 Does that make sense? She's fucked multiple women. 97 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,640 She said. I remember in a Twitter bio 98 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:16,080 saying that she basically like kissed a girl and I thought 99 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,680 tattoo kind of thing like in her bio years ago. 100 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:22,440 How many women do you think? Or how many people like Yeah, 101 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,520 how many women do you think? Katy Perry's shocked. 102 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,400 I don't know, I would like her to shag me. 103 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:31,160 Yeah, I would like that. Too for me and I'd like even in 104 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:34,480 the hiking gear I would still I don't care. 105 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:37,040 No, it's we'd be, it's driving me. 106 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,280 Away from you, but it would drive me toward her. 107 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:42,760 Don't you love me in my shorts? I do love you in your shorts 108 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,400 because. You know that I love wearing 109 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:51,000 them and they bring me joy like. Yeah, yeah, Katy Perry's heart. 110 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,160 She's still hot. Oh yeah, I hated the. 111 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:56,640 Short hair that should have been that was fucking. 112 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:01,760 And I like short hair generally. It's not a I've not got so many 113 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,880 people look fucking amazing with it. 114 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:06,160 Not her. I'm sorry. 115 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,160 But do you know what? Do you know what it's giving? 116 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,960 It's giving me with short hair, Yeah. 117 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,680 I would look, you would look so bad. 118 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:21,160 I would look so so bad. Thinking about it now, I feel 119 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:30,000 like you'd give like Dobby mixed with Hold on, I'm trying to 120 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,520 think of the other one. Dobby mixed with Snape from 121 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:36,280 Harry Potter. Fuck you actually what you look 122 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:38,480 like with short hair. I'm not it can't even be 123 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,440 offended because it's so true. Well, we've seen you with short 124 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,960 hair and. You also look like a. 125 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:51,640 Fucking cockerels, asshole Freya, you actually do. 126 00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:55,160 You get your hair when it's short goes. 127 00:06:55,200 --> 00:07:01,360 Really feathery and for some reason it goes like cockrel 128 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:06,080 asshole colour it really. How many cockrels asshole have 129 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:07,760 you been like? That I've got an obsession. 130 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:11,960 Well, not cockrels, but I had to have an obsession with watching 131 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,640 hands push out eggs. When? 132 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:19,120 What do you mean when? Still going. 133 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,800 What? Do you mean did you say that 134 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:23,920 you've? Got an obsession. 135 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,880 I was no I've I've curbed it. Like, no, that's what it means. 136 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,240 When was? Not the babies, literally, you 137 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:30,360 know, the reborn. But. 138 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:34,160 When was this? It wasn't that long ago. 139 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,680 No, it's because I started following. 140 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:39,920 I didn't rescue this. I don't know when you were 141 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:45,920 asleep. It's because I started following 142 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:52,560 a hen rescue thing on Facebook and then I got like obsessed 143 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:58,120 with hens and chickens, and then there's something really 144 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:01,040 pleasing about it. Popping, popping. 145 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:06,960 Hell Oh. But there are songs go really 146 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:08,400 red. You are disgusting. 147 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,200 But that is what you look like with short hair. 148 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,720 It is so offensive. Your short hair is, that's why. 149 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:18,880 You stare into his asshole when he goes for. 150 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,120 A poo? No, I don't. 151 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:23,000 Yeah, you do. So do I. 152 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,800 I have to watch him because you fuck off. 153 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:30,280 No, I watch 5 metres down the road because you never ever I 154 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:32,720 watch and some ever pick up. I watch his little. 155 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,320 Knees. I watch his little knees quiver 156 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:37,159 and his eyes stare at me as he goes for a shit. 157 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:41,600 The knee. Quiver anyway, you look 158 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:47,200 disgusting with short hair. In my defence, it wasn't my 159 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:48,480 choice. You're absolutely. 160 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:54,120 I had AI had a really bad bad time a couple of years ago now 161 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:57,640 when I went to the hairdresser to just like cut out my dead 162 00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:02,440 ends and somehow I ended up with a short mullet with a rat tail. 163 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,520 It wasn't even a mullet. No, it was all just Jack. 164 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:06,800 It was Karen. It was Sharon. 165 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,800 Full Karen Sharon combination it was do. 166 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,560 You know what it was? It was Denise. 167 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:18,160 Yeah, it was fucking horrendous. Denise chopping off. 168 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:20,960 Yeah, it was really bad. I actually was really not 169 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:25,080 mentally well. And then also I had a panic 170 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,200 attack and Scarlet cried. So that cried. 171 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,120 For her, it was that bad. And then I But you know what was 172 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,800 so funny? It was almost like people felt 173 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,960 sorry for me because then the next day we were walking around 174 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:35,720 and I got so many like Wolf. We got hit. 175 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:36,960 Oh, it was. Yeah. 176 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:39,640 Yeah. Because honest to God. 177 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:43,080 You know what though, I must have looked desperate so they 178 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,360 thought, fuck it, I'll give her a compliment. 179 00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:48,840 It it actually did look like grippy. 180 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,520 Socks, it looked like. It was a Britney. 181 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:55,120 It looked like a Britney. It it genuinely looked like I 182 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:58,720 had just escaped a mental ward and I didn't know where the fuck 183 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,960 I was going and I had you as my carer. 184 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,240 That's honestly what Who wasn't? Caring for you. 185 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:06,880 Who wasn't caring? A carer neglect was I'm actually 186 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:08,160 I. I can't imagine how you feel 187 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:09,400 because I'm still quite traumatised. 188 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,120 From this, no I am. I've actually got palpitations. 189 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,840 But like the group chat, sometimes the photos just get 190 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,520 dropped in. Because people still live for 191 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,680 it. If you guys want to see this DM 192 00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:20,240 me I'm. Right. 193 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,320 No, I'm not letting you expose yourself like that. 194 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:25,000 I actually can't let you do. That that's so bad? 195 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:26,920 I cannot. Fucking awful. 196 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,400 Anyway, yeah, Katy Perry's a laser. 197 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:30,880 And. Everyone be gay. 198 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:32,760 But she can be bisexual. She can be pan. 199 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,200 Yeah, yeah. But she's definitely not 200 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,880 straight. That's going to be my calling. 201 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,840 Carl, I just hope she is she still with Orlando Bloom? 202 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:39,800 I hope. Not is she? 203 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,000 I don't know, I felt like she. Wouldn't be doing all of this as 204 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:42,720 she was. Do you know what? 205 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,360 Would be hilarious. Katy Perry and Carl Richards 206 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,960 imagine them two together. No, because now I really want 207 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:54,440 Katy Perry to be with Kyle Wade. No, Morgan. 208 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,320 Wade, Morgan, Wade, Katy Perry and Morgan. 209 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:57,120 Wade. No, Kyle. 210 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:59,040 Sorry, I want Kyle to be with Morgan. 211 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:00,000 Wade Yeah, To be fair, that is a. 212 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,040 Good, because I feel like Morgan. 213 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:03,200 Who would be a good fit then for Katy Perry? 214 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:03,840 Katy. Perry. 215 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:07,160 Other than myself. It wouldn't be Fletcher, because 216 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,360 I genuinely think they're just two powerhouse girls. 217 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,120 It wouldn't work, no. Sort of the fact they're 218 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:12,680 powerhouses, it just wouldn't work. 219 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:16,760 No, I just can't see it working. So, Katy Perry and are we 220 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,280 thinking of another lesbian or are we thinking of just anyone? 221 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,640 I'm not going to, I'm not going to actively put her with a 222 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,000 fucking man. Am I for? 223 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,160 No. But like a straight. 224 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,120 Woman, no, I don't want. No I don't want another straight 225 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:26,480 woman. No. 226 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,680 I wonder whether I want to wear the hardcore dike. 227 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,640 Who could it be? Do you know what this is? 228 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:34,760 When you realise how little little representation of queer 229 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:36,640 women there are in the media. Because like my brain. 230 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:39,400 Is going other than baby type gaze? 231 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,800 Well, I say baby gaze, but like new age gaze. 232 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:44,360 So like, you're Renee Rapps, you're Hailey Kochos, your 233 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:48,880 Fletchers, and then you've got your Cate Blanchett, who's, you 234 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:53,280 know, not who's fucking married, and you're kind of older gays. 235 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:55,360 You've. Got no one. 236 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,680 There is actually no one. Who could I pair? 237 00:11:57,680 --> 00:12:00,320 Up Let's just put Let's just put up with another Real Housewife. 238 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,600 Katy Perry would be. Good with He's a Vanderpump. 239 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,960 No Dory. No, no. 240 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:12,600 Both had two hectares. 2 her two Kathy. 241 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:15,120 Rich, Kathy. Kathy Hilton. 242 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:18,840 Kathy Hilton. Yeah, No, maybe it would have to 243 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:20,880 be Carl Richards. Yeah, I think you're right. 244 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,320 Done for so because it's. Not no, it's not right. 245 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:28,560 It's I can see Kyle Richards at the She loves music. 246 00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:31,400 She'd be right at the front show, fangirl. 247 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:33,240 Oh, I'm sorry, 2 seconds. I'm going to have to. 248 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:36,480 I'm going to have to Google gay women in media. 249 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,520 Ellen. Fuck Ellen. 250 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:43,920 Yeah, see that all? Like it's like Zendaya who isn't 251 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:45,120 gay. She's too young. 252 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:46,800 She's. Bi gay women in the media. 253 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:50,280 She's bi. Oh OK, fine, but too young. 254 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,480 They're all too young. Like. 255 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,200 There's like General Taker, she's so young. 256 00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,680 Who's that again from Orange is the New Black? 257 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,760 Ruby Rose, That could work, yeah. 258 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,120 That wouldn't be terrible. Yeah. 259 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,960 Gillian Anderson's popped up Kristen Stewart to be. 260 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,320 Fair. No Shane from The L Word. 261 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:14,800 Yeah, that that Meneg. Kate yeah, that would work. 262 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:18,080 Kate Menig with Katy Perry yes, Kate and Katy. 263 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,560 That is Kate and Kate. It's so lesbian as well. 264 00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:24,720 It's so lesbian names. I can see that, yes, that would 265 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,920 be a really hot it would. It would be a good, good match. 266 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,080 Yeah, right. Well, you've had it here first, 267 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,120 Katie and Kate. Katie and Kate. 268 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,160 Get your arse in gear, get on it. 269 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,560 Katie and Kate go for that date. Have a bit of cake. 270 00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:40,040 Anything else media wise for it that we want to talk about? 271 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,600 No, I don't think there is anything else in the media, is 272 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:45,360 there? Fletcher's cancelled her tour. 273 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,840 Oh, Lyme's disease, which is really. 274 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,240 Yeah, that is really sad. I. 275 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:54,640 Feel for her because I had a friend who suffers really badly 276 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:58,240 with Lyme's disease and I've seen what it can do and it is 277 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,160 absolutely horrendous. Yeah. 278 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:03,280 Oh, it's, it's horrible. It's really debilitating. 279 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:07,640 And I don't blame her for cancelling her tours because if 280 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,840 you're going through that it's like enough even trying to like 281 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:14,600 meet your friend for a coffee, let alone do a whole fucking. 282 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,280 Yeah, I mean, it's again me with my migraines. 283 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:20,880 It is life changing. People don't understand. 284 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,640 Just quickly actually, because I know so many of you suffer as 285 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:28,880 well. First up, stop sending me videos 286 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:31,240 of people putting their feet in hot fucking water. 287 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,560 You heard it here first. It doesn't work. 288 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,280 If it's worked for you, great. It certainly didn't fucking 289 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:37,480 touch the. Sides for me. 290 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,400 Sadly. But. 291 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:44,040 In the last few days I have done a compilation of new things 292 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:51,440 which Touchwood has seemed to have improved my migraines. 293 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:54,320 Just really quickly, I'm going to sit here with a smug a little 294 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:57,040 look on my face. Because that's not just that, 295 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,560 friend. No, but I actually think. 296 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:02,040 Haven't I said for over a year now that you've had a tongue 297 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:05,240 tie? And haven't I said for a while 298 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:09,480 that you should go to a Cairo? Yes, in my head I agree when I 299 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:12,880 looked into it more and come to the conclusion that 300 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:17,600 chiropractors has been medically proven to help. 301 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:20,480 Exactly which is what I found. We went and fucking booked it. 302 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,360 Did I go and book it as soon as I found? 303 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,760 It I did, I've been saying for a while because I knew that for 304 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,480 months. All right, well, you've also had 305 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:30,680 a fucking horrific neck pain, back pain. 306 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:33,080 You've got a hump like a fucking. 307 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:37,080 Get up guys. Go a camel on the ailments list. 308 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:40,600 Guess who has scoliosis? It's me. 309 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,800 I can't. As soon as she came out and was 310 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:45,840 like they've said, I've got scoliosis, I just thought. 311 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,480 I can't believe. It one more thing for the 312 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:51,440 fucker. I can't believe. 313 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,000 I can't believe I can believe it. 314 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:55,760 I can't believe, she said. My back is shaped like a banana. 315 00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,040 In the last did. I make. 316 00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:02,800 Myself have in the last month you have had significant neck 317 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:03,920 pain. Fair enough. 318 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:06,640 End mute trurosis, which obviously is awful. 319 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:10,040 I never actually count that you've had couldn't just let me 320 00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:11,960 have the migraines you've had migraines and. 321 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,440 Headaches. I know it's been shipped. 322 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:17,000 You've diagnosed yourself with perimenopause. 323 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,520 I haven't fully diagnosed myself with that yet. 324 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,280 You've pretty. Much did, but it does seem to be 325 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,160 pointing with the perimenopause started. 326 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:29,200 To feel little like limps lymph nodes, lymph nodes spin growing, 327 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:32,000 which you then were like crying about saying that you had 328 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:35,280 cancer. What else is there? 329 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:38,440 Do you know what? No, I'm just going to, as I said 330 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:39,720 last week, I'm. Just going to fucking. 331 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:41,400 Publish the list? No, but what? 332 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:45,320 So everyone can actually see that what I have to deal. 333 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,120 With no. But what is good right? 334 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:49,280 Is that a lot of my issues actually? 335 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:51,520 You know what, Freya? All I wanted to do was just give 336 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:54,960 people a list on how they could help themselves and you've had 337 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:58,200 to jump in. And and tell everyone I'm going 338 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,440 to let you do that. But all I'm saying is is that 339 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,680 you should be lucky that I went to that Cairo the other day 340 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:06,640 because it turns out a lot of the issues that I have apart 341 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,920 from my endometriosis is all linked to my scoli. 342 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:14,800 So I personally don't think well for me the hot water didn't 343 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,880 work. I bought a. 344 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,680 Reusable ice pack from boots that I strap around my head that 345 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:24,119 helps give me re release but obviously doesn't like solve the 346 00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:26,200 problem but it just helps give a bit of release. 347 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:30,560 Tiger balm temples it behind is back a neck that's amazing. 348 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:36,920 However, I one really lovely person wrote to me or DM me on 349 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:41,800 Instagram and said to buy some Celtic salt. 350 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,600 Which I bought. And you just put like a little 351 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:49,160 pinch on your tongue, like I think it's like once or. 352 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:53,680 Twice a day. I think it's working like I have 353 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:58,600 100% think it's work working. This person that DM D me is a 354 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:04,320 sports therapist and she was saying that a lot of her clients 355 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:08,200 suffer and they like swear by it so that has been amazing. 356 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,400 So I. Really recommend. 357 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:10,840 Does it kind of like put them So what it? 358 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,120 Is so there's a yeah. So there's a lot of research to 359 00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:16,680 show that people with or suffer with migraines, they believe it 360 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:21,560 can also be a problem with the body's inability to transfer 361 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:25,520 magnesium from water to the brain. 362 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,440 OK. And the Celtic salt is obviously 363 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:31,880 if you put it on your tongue, it's got, it's full of 364 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,520 magnesium. It almost despite everyone 365 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:37,560 obviously thinking that salt dehydrates you, which in a lot 366 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:39,880 of ways it does. It can also really help some 367 00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:43,040 salts with rehydration. Because it gets it into your 368 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,280 system. Yeah, better. 369 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,800 So that's been maybe that might be good for our. 370 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,680 Anxiety girls as well because like. 371 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,560 Yeah, because it's a magnesium deficiency and it's just good 372 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,800 for you anyway. Celtic sea salt. 373 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,160 Let's. Get your bitches on the Celtic 374 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,360 sea salt. Also, what did you get me? 375 00:18:57,360 --> 00:19:00,440 The QE 10. So I got you Co Q. 10 Co Q10 376 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,760 I've been taking that as well and I think that's been helping, 377 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:05,120 so I've done. OK, hold on Celtic. 378 00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:06,560 Sea salt. Celtic sea salt. 379 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:13,760 Co Q10, Co Q 10 is really good for energising fatigue, 380 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:16,600 migraines, de ageing. And I, I had a shit load of 381 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:19,120 energy yesterday for the first time in like 2 1/2 months. 382 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:23,840 And I went to the chiropractor and I think again, like she 383 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,480 clicked my neck. She, you know, manipulated a 384 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:29,200 load of things around my head. And I do think it has given me a 385 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:32,640 massive pressure release and. It turns out that you have a 386 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,760 cranial tongue tie and for years I have been saying I was like, 387 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,360 baby, you've got a tongue tie and that girls imagine a lesbian 388 00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:40,680 with the tongue tie. Here we are that. 389 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,360 Makes me one of the best lesbians out there. 390 00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:47,640 The fact that I lived by 20 odd years on this earth with the 391 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,960 cranial tongue tie and I have still been able to lick bare 392 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:52,600 pussy. Bare puss. 393 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:54,760 Well done you. Thank you. 394 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:58,080 It must really hurt actually. It it doesn't hurt. 395 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:00,920 Yeah. But I feel like, you know, when 396 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:02,880 you have people who are flexible. 397 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,320 Yeah. And you are people who aren't 398 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,880 flexible. My tongue doesn't really have 399 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,880 that flexibility. Is that why your head moves with 400 00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:10,840 it? Fuck off. 401 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,680 Right. Can we move on to talk about 402 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,360 unbalanced relationships? Because that's the topic of 403 00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:19,120 today. OK, so when you say unbalanced 404 00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:21,040 relationship, what exactly do you mean? 405 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:25,480 So, you know, we've discussed this a lot and when I say 406 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,760 unbalanced relationship, I mean relationships, all of the 407 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,280 relationships that we experience. 408 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:34,640 So romantic relationships, friendships, family 409 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:38,000 relationships, those are the kind of three, even work 410 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:43,880 relationships, 9 times out of 10, you, you always have one 411 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:47,760 that is generally more of a giver, whether that be a 412 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:52,640 physical giver, an emotional giver, you know, whatever 413 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,920 capacity in which you, you see that. 414 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:59,800 And then you often have one who is more of AI, don't want to 415 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:03,360 call it taker because I don't think that is the right word, 416 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:07,280 but more accepting. Yeah, I think someone who is 417 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,520 more willing to accept and someone who is more willing to 418 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,200 give. It also depends on that 419 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:14,160 personality type as well, right? And that's fine. 420 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,840 And I think that can really work in so many ways because as you 421 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,640 say, a lot of it is based on someone's personality. 422 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:24,080 And a lot of people love to be able to give to those that they 423 00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:25,880 love. And a lot of people love to feel 424 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:29,720 loved and love to accept love from people that they love. 425 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:33,760 Also, like depending on your time in your life, at certain 426 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,920 points you may need things more. Exactly. 427 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,400 At one point, yeah. And then another point you feel 428 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,240 more. Yeah, like this last 2 1/2 429 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:45,960 months, I have needed you a lot more to take control of things 430 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:50,080 that we would usually share. Yeah, like I've haven't had the 431 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:55,200 emotional, psychological, physical ability to step up to 432 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,000 the plate for a lot of stuff. So I've had to rely on you to do 433 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:02,200 it and I've, you know, willingly accepted that the same as 434 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,640 there's been periods of our relationship where you've needed 435 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,800 me to provide more in some capacity. 436 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,120 And I have done that for sure. And that's fine. 437 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:14,280 And it doesn't necessarily always need to be on that give 438 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:15,880 take. So you've done something, I then 439 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,400 do something, right? It's a, it's again, it's a 440 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,240 scale. It kind of drifts back and 441 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,960 forth. But we have experienced, and you 442 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,440 know, we've mentioned this before on this podcast, we've 443 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:30,000 experienced a lot. And I think in our relationship 444 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:35,680 you are much more of a giver in terms of the daily things. 445 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,440 Like you're the cooker. Yeah, you. 446 00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:41,000 I can't think of anything else beyond that. 447 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:44,000 No, I'm joking. You are very like like you'll 448 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,800 get me my supplements. Yeah. 449 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,360 If you ain't getting them for me, I. 450 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,840 Ain't taking them, yeah. You remind me to drink my juice. 451 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:53,640 Yeah. You remind me to feed myself 452 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:58,560 like do you know what I mean? Those things, whereas I am good, 453 00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:00,920 although again, you've been much better recently, but like the 454 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:03,280 solicitor stuff for selling the house, I would usually take 455 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,360 control, although you have actually been really good 456 00:23:05,360 --> 00:23:08,120 because again, I've not been in the mental capacity to do so. 457 00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,360 But most of the time that is how it would work. 458 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:15,200 Me and you in our friendships as well, we often take the role of 459 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,800 that. As a duo, yes, because we're 460 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,160 both givers within our relationship. 461 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:23,560 So then as a duo with our friends, we're like double 462 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:25,680 givers, yeah. Yeah, and we love it. 463 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:29,720 Yeah, Like that feeds us. It's a way of us showing people 464 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:31,920 that we love. Them I love people asking me to 465 00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:32,800 do things. Yes. 466 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:37,640 And we for a lot of our friends at certain points have been in 467 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,600 the really privileged position to be able to help them out, 468 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:44,520 whether that be, you know, they, they need someone to stay or if 469 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:51,120 it needs to be ad hoc financial support, career support, admin 470 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,360 support, like sorting things out. 471 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,560 We have been in the position where for me and you, it takes 472 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,440 very little for us to do and give that to those people and we 473 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:00,640 willingly do it. Yeah. 474 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,480 We've also had some friends as well that have really helped us 475 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:06,360 out, like massive Oh yeah. Which has been amazing. 476 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,120 And I've been. But then there's also that 477 00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:10,040 little, like, niggling thing in my brain that goes, oh, I feel 478 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:11,920 guilty, like I'm taking something, you know? 479 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,920 And even though I know that I feel great whenever I give it, 480 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:17,000 I'm like, please can you ask me to do something? 481 00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:20,040 Because I think I now feel like the balance is off and I don't 482 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:21,720 like that. Like, I like to be able to give 483 00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:25,480 you things, but some people in a certain space in their life just 484 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,600 don't need anything. I'm like, make up a task. 485 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:30,400 Make up a task. Yeah, literally I will do it. 486 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:35,160 So, and I think that's amazing and I think a really important 487 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:39,320 key part of having good relationships, however. 488 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:45,000 Yeah. When that dynamic is unbalanced 489 00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:50,160 for too long and too severely so the you know the scale is quite 490 00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:56,840 end to end, like the end to end is large, there is going to be 491 00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:59,040 problems created. Do you know what I think? 492 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:00,600 Not created, sorry. Manifesting. 493 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:01,680 Themselves. Yeah, exactly. 494 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:02,880 That's exactly what I was going to say. 495 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:03,960 Do you know what I think happens? 496 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,840 First is the buildup of resentment. 497 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:11,200 No, so I would disagree it no, because I don't ever. 498 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,200 So do you know what there's this people always say, and I do 499 00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:17,320 agree with this. Don't give things or don't do 500 00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:21,680 things for to expect anything in return, which I really don't 501 00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:25,520 feel I do when I give something to someone. 502 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,440 I literally don't want anything in return. 503 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:31,200 I'm really lucky. Again, just as I was saying, I 504 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:34,840 don't think there's a lot of stuff that like I need other 505 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,360 people for. If I do, I'll ask. 506 00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:38,600 But generally I feel like I just get up and get on. 507 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,800 And sometimes I'm, which is actually to my detriment because 508 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:44,760 sometimes I think I should look up and ask for help, but it's 509 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:46,320 like the last thing I think to do, right? 510 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:50,320 I don't expect anything in return other than a bit of 511 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,680 fucking respect. Yeah, OK. 512 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:57,760 That is like for me, it's like my boundary is just just 513 00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:59,760 respect. Just respect me. 514 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:03,600 Just show me a level of like. Common decency. 515 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:09,680 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Noticed a lot that I, I feel 516 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,480 sometimes and This is why it becomes unbalanced to our 517 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:15,280 detriment. We sometimes take it too far 518 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:19,600 with the help and the support and the, the multiple doings. 519 00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,160 You know, whether it be the emotional labour, the physical 520 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:26,760 labour, the admin labour, the support labour, which I think 521 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:31,520 gets to a point of like expectation from the other side, 522 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:37,000 which then leads to when we then aren't able to fulfil the high 523 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,320 standard. Animosity builds, yeah. 524 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,800 Yeah. And it creates problems. 525 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,640 And that can happen in, you know, relationships as. 526 00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:47,280 Well, it's happening in relationships all the time. 527 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:52,560 I think for all of the things that we have argued about across 528 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:55,200 the course of our relationship, I wouldn't say this is 529 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:58,440 necessarily one of them because I think we're both very aware of 530 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:02,400 how the give and take works. Yes, I would say in large 531 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,960 largely it is very, very equal. I think in relationships it can 532 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:11,080 be really bad as well because if it gets to a point where you're 533 00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:14,960 always giving to your significant other, you are, I 534 00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:18,160 think you would feel more resentment than you would in a 535 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:21,560 friendship capacity because you're seeing it every day. 536 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:25,080 You know, the likelihood is you're living with them and it's 537 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:27,160 the little things, right? Like if you're constantly 538 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:32,160 cleaning up after them, if you're constantly sorting things 539 00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,800 out with them and they get to a point where they just expect you 540 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,720 to do it, at some point you're going to blow. 541 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:43,680 Do you know what I can't handle is giving in this capacity and 542 00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,240 like especially in like a relationship sense, you're like, 543 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,440 I really want to help you out. Here are the steps to do that. 544 00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:53,600 I can't do it all for you. You take it on and then they 545 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:57,040 don't take that advice and then continue to mope around me and 546 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,240 then bring the energy down because I'm like, look, I've 547 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,160 done everything that I can on my side. 548 00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:04,720 I physically cannot help you anymore, even if I tried now. 549 00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:08,400 And I've still got to put up with you complaining. 550 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,560 Yeah, because you're not saying. That is my biggest. 551 00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:11,760 I do think you. Need to take. 552 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:16,160 Accountability at some point 100% is people who continuously 553 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:19,000 complain about the situation and don't sort it out. 554 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,360 And I think we can all be Privy to it sometimes. 555 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,360 I've done it in the past. I'll hold my hands up. 556 00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:26,680 But get you have to. Yeah, I'm sorry, but you have to 557 00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,400 get to a point of fucking realism and get to a point of 558 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,720 sorting yourself out because actually you are in control of 559 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:36,040 your own life and it isn't anyone's else's problem to have 560 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:39,360 to deal with your shit. It's you against you personally. 561 00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,000 It's always you against you. You are your own competition. 562 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,760 This is your life. I cannot live it for you. 563 00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:49,000 I will do what I can to help you because I love doing that and I 564 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:50,920 love doing that for someone that I'm in love with. 565 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:54,480 But fuck me, if you don't take that advice and run with it, 566 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,800 then I can't help you anymore. But yeah, when that expectation, 567 00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:01,960 when you fit, OK, so the worst case scenario is when you're 568 00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:04,040 doing a lot in that relationship. 569 00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,840 It's so unbalanced. You're doing everything for this 570 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:08,520 person. It's almost like this person is 571 00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:12,480 your child by this point. They which you've had with 572 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:14,520 previous relationships. I've had this in previous 573 00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:19,160 relationships, yeah. And then they expect, yeah, they 574 00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:23,040 get resentful if you don't do those things, right. 575 00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:26,480 But you're already pissed off because you've already built up 576 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:28,280 resentment because you're pissed off at the fact that you've had 577 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:29,760 to do everything. And now? 578 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:31,680 All the time. All the time and now they're 579 00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:33,440 giving you shit because you're not doing it. 580 00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:37,280 So instead of them ever looking and being like they're not doing 581 00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,600 this to me anymore but they're also thinking well why the fuck 582 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,200 am I expecting them to do this? Yeah. 583 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:44,200 And also look at all the things that they have done, have done. 584 00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:47,120 Let me jump down their throat about the one thing that they 585 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,720 haven't done or the one thing that hasn't appeased me. 586 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,000 Yeah. And let me go balls to the 587 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:52,960 walls. Yeah, exactly. 588 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,000 I just. Don't get it. 589 00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:58,320 I don't actually, no. And you know, sometimes I think 590 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:02,000 that you can naturally and quite innocently build an expectation 591 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,000 because you're so used to your partner doing things. 592 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,360 But this is where the insecurity thing comes in, right? 593 00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:10,880 Because if, for instance, next week, I know Scarlett hates me 594 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:12,920 doing the laundry. So this isn't really the best 595 00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:15,200 example. But if Scarlett stopped doing 596 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:18,520 the laundry next week for me because she does all of the 597 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:22,160 laundry, all of my laundry irons, all everything bedding, 598 00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:26,000 if she stopped doing that next week, I wouldn't then be like, 599 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,520 what have I done wrong? She's not doing it for me. 600 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,280 I'd be thinking this lazy little bitch. 601 00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:37,240 No, but I would, I'd probably be like, I think in that scenario 602 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,760 because that is so your job, I'd be a bit like, baby, what's 603 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:41,720 going on here? And if you're like, I just don't 604 00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:43,280 want to do it, I'd be like, well, then I'm going to have to 605 00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:45,520 take on this load. I would have to have that 606 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,000 conversation with you because I'd be like, look well. 607 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,800 What's going on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 608 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,480 But that's a really, I think like basic way of putting it 609 00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:55,040 because there's a lot of like there's a lot of emotional 610 00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:55,800 labourers. And also. 611 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:59,160 Financially, a bit about like the physical side of things, the 612 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:01,920 doing, but there's also a lot of like emotional labour and 613 00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:06,000 unbalanced relationships where you're constantly picking them 614 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,680 up off the floor. They're always complaining about 615 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:11,440 something, you're always trying to inject positivity, you're 616 00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:15,160 always trying to reassure them, you're always trying to guide 617 00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:17,640 them into what they could do to help themselves. 618 00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:20,920 And then the one moment you may give them a slight home truth 619 00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:23,760 because actually the pandering to them hasn't helped. 620 00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:29,080 You're a fucking asshole. And again, it's this woe is me. 621 00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,400 Yeah. I can't believe you would say or 622 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:34,520 do that to me. Type behaviour which I I have no 623 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,880 time for. And we are so lucky now that I 624 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:43,840 think I can confidently say all of our friends, if we were to 625 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:47,040 have that conversation, we'll take it. 626 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:53,000 Well, yeah, I agree. But there's been friendships 627 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:56,000 where, yeah, we couldn't, and we're not friends with those 628 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:57,280 people anymore. Worth. 629 00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,920 Yeah, worth, worth. All you got to say is worth. 630 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:04,280 Yeah, yeah. And let me tell you, I have got 631 00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:08,200 to the point where I I am not doing it anymore. 632 00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:12,280 No, for the wrong people. Yeah, because I have done it. 633 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:16,880 And we we keep doing this to ourselves previously where I've 634 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,400 known that I've not been doing it for the right person, but I'm 635 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,680 already trapped into kind of doing it. 636 00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:26,560 And then my empathy is like, no, don't be a bitch. 637 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:29,440 Not that it even is a bitchy thing to actually say no and 638 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:32,440 fucking prioritise. Yeah, because if you prioritise 639 00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:34,360 yourself, what's so wrong with? That exactly. 640 00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:37,480 So I feel bad. So I carry on doing it. 641 00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:47,920 And then when I finally can't, I get a backlash, which then fuck, 642 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:52,520 it creates a fury in me because I'm like, how dare you? 643 00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:56,320 Because over the course of this relationship, the balance has 644 00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:58,520 been way fucking off. Yeah. 645 00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:03,280 And I've accepted that. And I'm I've been pretty OK with 646 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:04,840 it. Balance in relationships, I 647 00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:07,600 think especially for like, let's look at it from a lesbian angle 648 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:11,440 because like we said, there isn't the rule book, there isn't 649 00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:15,120 the man woman, the man makes all this money and the woman is 650 00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:17,040 stays at home and she's cleaning. 651 00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:19,240 And the women in straight relationships can't even do that 652 00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:20,480 anymore because the economy is so bad. 653 00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,160 Yeah. So now we can't even do that 654 00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:23,880 anymore. The women are working and having 655 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,840 to do all the rest of it. So what is that then? 656 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:31,280 What does that balance look like in a female and female 657 00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:34,200 relationship? Like you're both obviously, I 658 00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,520 would assume that you're both working or I mean. 659 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,960 Sometimes I think in female, female relationships it could, 660 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,240 it could be problematic because we're we're both probably trying 661 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:44,680 to do too much. Yes, we're always trying to 662 00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:47,960 overachieve, Yes. And and because there was so 663 00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:51,760 much expectations on women, it is hard because, yeah, there 664 00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:53,680 isn't so much, I mean, in every relation. 665 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:55,120 Unless you've got yourself like a daddy. 666 00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:56,720 Yeah. But in every relationship there 667 00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:59,720 usually is breadwinner, there is usually one that earns, has more 668 00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:02,000 cash, has more cash than the other one. 669 00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:05,360 There might be someone in like a completely different role that 670 00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:07,680 might be a bit more demanding. There might be someone that's in 671 00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:09,679 like lesser role that's summoning in that sort, not even 672 00:34:09,679 --> 00:34:12,120 to do with money, like the one with even the less of a more 673 00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,400 developing world could actually have more money and looking at 674 00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:17,000 the way that they are together in terms of like personality 675 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:21,000 types, because there's as women, it doesn't mean that we're 676 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:25,080 always these like housekeepers that are amazing at laundry and 677 00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:26,960 love to clean and and want to have babies. 678 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:30,400 Like it's not all like that. So you may have someone that's 679 00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:33,520 more into the cleaning side. If it not, it's just like. 680 00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:36,560 It's just like. You do get to fall into your 681 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:39,320 role division, right? With with us, there was no real 682 00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:43,760 exclusive conversation about I always feed the dog, yeah and 683 00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:46,159 pick up a shit. But I would say that even if 684 00:34:46,159 --> 00:34:48,000 you. Always yeah watch it do my 685 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,520 breakfast but like at some point definitely had conversations 686 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:53,960 around like this is where I'm better at things and this is 687 00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,760 where you're better at things it's not been like oh this role 688 00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:59,120 is specifically yours it's like you enjoy this more we. 689 00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:01,360 Don't have like a child. You're more good at this. 690 00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:04,160 And also just some days I might clean more, some days you might 691 00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:05,640 clean more. That's just the way it is. 692 00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:10,040 But what I can say if you find yourself in a relationship and 693 00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:13,200 you have a partner, like you might like to clean, but you've 694 00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:14,560 got a partner who doesn't like to clean. 695 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:16,880 Don't let that be their fucking excuse either though, because I 696 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:20,400 do believe that in the house you should both be cleaning. 697 00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,200 That's just that's the one thing I stand by. 698 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:26,520 How? Do you then like avoid this 699 00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:30,160 resentment and like arguments and things around the 700 00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,360 unbalanced? I think maybe in what you just 701 00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:34,000 said, being like I'm good at this. 702 00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:38,200 Well, I think it's like acknowledging as well that like 703 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:42,280 as the giver, if you're the giver, you have to take onus as 704 00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:47,000 well about speaking up and not letting it build when you start 705 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,560 feeling that way or acknowledging that maybe the 706 00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:55,920 balance is way off beyond your levels of tolerance to to speak 707 00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:59,560 up. And if you're not speaking up in 708 00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:03,560 fear of the other party, whether it be maybe a relationship with 709 00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:07,200 your sister or your mother or your father or a friend or your 710 00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:12,480 significant other, you're avoiding bringing up your 711 00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:15,400 displacement or your maybe annoyance you. 712 00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:17,960 Know what it's about this it's just setting boundaries. 713 00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:20,040 Yeah, you need to set clear boundaries you. 714 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:25,320 Should be able to have mature, calm conversations with the 715 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:29,360 people around you to resolve any type of matter. 716 00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:30,880 It's not always going to be easy. 717 00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,400 Sometimes it can be difficult and get heated, but ultimately 718 00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:36,560 you should be able to come to a relatively sound conclusion. 719 00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:40,600 If you're worried about bringing up your feelings and emotions 720 00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:43,160 towards something because of how that other party's going to 721 00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,840 react, that's an issue in itself. 722 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:49,160 Yeah, I think it basically just all comes down to boundary 723 00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:52,640 setting as well though. And this can really be like 724 00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:55,280 really prevalent, especially like family situations. 725 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:58,160 I don't know if you guys have like been through too much of 726 00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:03,400 this, but setting boundaries to family, whether that be siblings 727 00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:07,040 or your parents or aunt, I don't know what your kind of situation 728 00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:09,640 is, right? But as soon as you start to set 729 00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:13,920 those boundaries and people respond negatively to them, you 730 00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:18,480 need to be and stay strong to your own mental well-being and 731 00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,400 say, look, well, I've made this boundary for myself. 732 00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:24,920 They can react however they may want, but I'm not always going 733 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:28,400 to go above and beyond anymore. When I don't feel like the 734 00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:33,720 respect is reciprocated or if I feel respected, did I just say 735 00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:34,840 respect? I did. 736 00:37:36,240 --> 00:37:39,560 Or can I actually just feel like I'm just appreciated? 737 00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:43,080 I think feeling appreciated is, is it's such a small little 738 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,680 thing that you can do is just say, thank you so much. 739 00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,120 That's it. That is honestly it. 740 00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:52,800 You need to be able to find yourself a way of communicating 741 00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:54,680 and sitting down and having a chat. 742 00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:57,640 And maybe it doesn't even need to be, it depends on what the 743 00:37:57,640 --> 00:37:59,720 situation is, but maybe it doesn't always have to be so 744 00:37:59,720 --> 00:38:02,560 serious. But you can say, look, even in 745 00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:05,720 your relationship, you could say, look, I, I, I think like a 746 00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:09,840 few things are unbalanced here. I don't want to feel, I don't 747 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,760 want to feel any resentment because I love you so much. 748 00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:16,760 Like, I just want to take some time to figure out what our like 749 00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:19,440 clear roles are going to be and whatever makes you happy and 750 00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:21,560 whatever makes me happy. And I think that like we do that 751 00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:23,480 together. It's definitely doable. 752 00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:27,760 But that being said, there will be times in your relationships 753 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:30,480 where just one point of that relationship, it could be a 754 00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:33,080 couple of months where you do just happen to give more. 755 00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:35,960 And then a couple of months down the line, you find yourself 756 00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:39,440 needing to take more. And that is just how it works. 757 00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:43,520 And for the people who are listening to this and thinking, 758 00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:49,520 oh shit, that could be me, as in you're more of the taker, that's 759 00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:52,600 not a problem. Just acknowledge it and just 760 00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:55,840 like ask I. Think you can take the reins as 761 00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:58,120 the taker as well? I think it's actually easier to 762 00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:00,720 take the reins as the taker than it is to take the. 763 00:39:00,720 --> 00:39:03,760 Reins yeah, look, I've noticed that like I'm a bit shit at this 764 00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:05,600 or I don't do this very often and you do a lot. 765 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:07,680 Like, are you OK with that? Like, you know, I feel a bit 766 00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:08,360 bad. What can I do? 767 00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:10,720 Who comes back and it's like, no, honestly, it's fine. 768 00:39:10,720 --> 00:39:12,440 Great. You've then you've. 769 00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:15,320 Had it out. When they say no, say it again 770 00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,640 because the giver will always say no and then say it's just 771 00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:18,040 you. Sure. 772 00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:20,000 Exactly. It is the acknowledgement, 773 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:20,840 right? Yeah. 774 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:25,360 And then if you're the giver and you're listening to this and 775 00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:28,000 you're like, I'm fucking hungry listening to this because this 776 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:31,120 is me with most of the relationships in my life, you're 777 00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:34,360 in control of that. Don't keep complaining about it. 778 00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:36,480 If you're not going to stand up and change it. 779 00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:38,520 Like if you feel it's detrimenting you and it's 780 00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:42,600 emotionally exhausting you, it's physically exhausting you, start 781 00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:45,920 setting boundaries for yourself because it will eventually make 782 00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:48,000 for better relationships. And if that means that you have 783 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,520 to lose people or or break people out of your life for 784 00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:53,280 certain periods of time, that's also your opportunity to grow 785 00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,800 and find other people who you have a better balance with. 786 00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:59,800 Definitely. Kind of topic of conversation on 787 00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:02,800 that one. Let's roll into a Horror Story 788 00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:04,520 today. Off we go. 789 00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:07,400 It's actually not one of the worst ones that we have had in 790 00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:09,960 terms of disgusting. The bar is so high. 791 00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:14,000 The bar is so fucking high but it is a really interesting 1. 792 00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:17,960 So this person said hello loves. I just wanted to say your 793 00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:21,120 podcast is Bible and I love going to church every week that 794 00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:23,160 you upload. Amazing. 795 00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:26,680 I don't know how horrid this is, but I feel like it is so common 796 00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:29,720 in the lesbian world. That's interesting because I 797 00:40:29,720 --> 00:40:33,240 don't think I've never experienced this and I don't 798 00:40:33,240 --> 00:40:36,840 think any discussions that we've had with our friends or queer 799 00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:40,960 people in the community I've ever had a conversation like 800 00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,200 this. So after coming out of a six 801 00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:45,720 year relationship, I was going through my whole phase and was 802 00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:47,440 living for it. And let me tell you, I was 803 00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:50,320 pretty successful considering it was still during COVID times. 804 00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:54,000 During this phase, there was a girl I had matched with on Hinge 805 00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:57,320 who was super hot. Like dirty hot. 806 00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:00,880 I was so excited to see her message me that I messaged back 807 00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:02,480 hoping to get some sparks to fly. 808 00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:06,600 However, this girl sent red flag number one up that I chose to 809 00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:10,240 ignore by only responding back once every like 2 to 3 weeks. 810 00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:11,640 Now I'm not here for that. Can't be bonded. 811 00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:14,400 No, I've forgotten. I've forgotten you. 812 00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:15,440 Exactly at this. Point. 813 00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:18,280 It's gone. But my dumb ass hoe brain was 814 00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,680 like fine she's hot I just really want to meet her. 815 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:24,160 After months of this back and forth we finally met up and let 816 00:41:24,160 --> 00:41:26,880 me tell you how fucking awkward this date was. 817 00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,040 Yes she was hot but it was filled with a lot of 818 00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:32,200 uncomfortable silences and one sided conversation. 819 00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:33,920 Not even a kiss. Good night. 820 00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:37,640 Oh, you would think that the story ends there, but no. 821 00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:41,040 So we met up for a second date which went considerably better. 822 00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:41,880 Why? Why would you I? 823 00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:42,960 Don't know why she. Went back. 824 00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:44,360 She must have been, really. Fair. 825 00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:46,040 She must have to. Be fair if she was really. 826 00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:46,800 Fair. I would have I'd. 827 00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:49,200 Have gone back and given it a second chance 100%. 828 00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:50,520 Yeah, I agree. Can't blame you. 829 00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:53,160 Or maybe I just changed my expectations. 830 00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:55,920 At the end of the night, she finally kissed me. 831 00:41:56,040 --> 00:42:00,640 Red flag #2 This was the worst kiss I've ever had in my life. 832 00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:03,040 Why? She almost tricked me over it 833 00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:07,240 was all teeth and weird tongue. Oh, how do you do that? 834 00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:12,320 Like teeth clamming, clashing. I think I've had that experience 835 00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,040 before. I think so. 836 00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:17,520 But alas, I went back for more and invited her over for the 837 00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:20,080 next day. OK, at this point, I'm judging 838 00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:20,840 you. Yeah. 839 00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:23,720 Because like because that would give. 840 00:42:23,720 --> 00:42:26,000 Me the ick. Even if she was really hot, if 841 00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:27,440 this was really bad, that would give me the ick. 842 00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:30,720 The third date was at my apartment so I was trying to be 843 00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:34,440 pretty clear on what I wanted. I don't even know why you 844 00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:36,960 fucking bothered. Luckily she got the hint. 845 00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:40,120 We started to make out, which was better than the first time. 846 00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:42,800 OK, that's fair enough. And started to hook up. 847 00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:47,040 I felt her put her hand down my pants but couldn't really feel 848 00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:51,360 anything else. At most 2 minutes went by and 849 00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:55,040 she sat up and asked me if it was good because I really quote 850 00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:58,640 unquote really quote wore her out unquote wait. 851 00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:04,320 I literally didn't feel a finger inside of me or even on my clit. 852 00:43:04,720 --> 00:43:08,600 I laid there so dumbfounded that she was worn out by sex I wasn't 853 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:12,480 even sure happened. Needless to say, I told her 854 00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:14,640 after this that we were better off as friends and I wasn't 855 00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:18,320 looking for a relationship. She agreed that it was best and 856 00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:21,200 that we could be friends. We still hung out a few times as 857 00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,400 friends off and on for a few months. 858 00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:26,600 In that time I had actually started dating a girl who's 859 00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:30,640 about to be my wife in 25 days. Wow, the bar was that low? 860 00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:33,120 She then just found a wife, no? I'm sorry, I'm joking. 861 00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:37,640 But apparently us talking as friends was leading wrong 862 00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:40,040 because on my birthday she sent me a delivered gift. 863 00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:44,080 It was a box and as I opened it, 20 wind up butterflies. 864 00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:47,840 Fucking how jumped out and flew all over my apartment where I 865 00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:51,320 currently had all of my friends, my girlfriends celebrating. 866 00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:55,120 Inside was a note expressing that she hoped my birthday was 867 00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:57,240 great and how she wanted to try again with me. 868 00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:00,280 Awkward. Needless to say I ended any form 869 00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:02,680 of relationship with her because boundaries was not a thing she 870 00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:05,040 understood. All I got out of this experience 871 00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:08,120 was a phantom finger that can only do 2 minutes of work. 872 00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:11,600 I hope you guys find this funny and feel free to blast me for 873 00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:14,200 ignoring all of the red flags. So it was. 874 00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:15,800 It was titled Phantom Fingers Finger. 875 00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:17,360 No, it's so funny. Do you know what? 876 00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:21,720 I'm fucking dumbfounded. She would have been better off 877 00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:23,280 winding up one of those fucking butterflies and. 878 00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:24,600 Shoving, shoving it down there, yeah. 879 00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:25,960 Do you know what? I couldn't agree more. 880 00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:29,400 But So what I'm thinking is right is that I understand when 881 00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:31,800 someone's like missed the mark. So she could be on like the 882 00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:34,920 crease of your groyne rubbing away thinking that that's your 883 00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:36,280 clear. But the fact that she didn't 884 00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:38,000 feel anything? No, but. 885 00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:40,240 Anywhere. Yeah, but what was she touching? 886 00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:43,280 OK so the clear I get right because like I've had it before 887 00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:45,080 where they. I don't know girls. 888 00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:47,720 How the are you any of you making this mistake? 889 00:44:47,720 --> 00:44:50,120 I'm sorry. I know this isn't helpful for 890 00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:52,480 the baby guys who are nervous to have sex. 891 00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:55,960 But we're judging you. But like, we've all got them, 892 00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:58,880 it's not that hard to find the clitoris all right? 893 00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:01,880 If there is one thing about being a lesbian is that we need 894 00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:05,120 to pride ourselves on finding the clit in under 2 seconds. 895 00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:09,880 And if you ain't doing it, sort it fucking out, right? 896 00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:13,440 That, though, Cliff's eyes are wondering. 897 00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:18,680 I can understand, but I have had it where like they're on the 898 00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:20,880 labia and not on the clip, right. 899 00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:22,520 So we can kind of understand that. 900 00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:27,200 What I don't understand is how this girl is saying that she put 901 00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:31,400 her fingers inside of her and yet the girl that wrote in was 902 00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:33,640 like that didn't like I found nothing. 903 00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:35,640 That's that's where I'm confused. 904 00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:38,760 Is not the clip, it's the penetration. 905 00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:41,520 No, she did have tiny fingers, no. 906 00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:43,880 Because you'd still feel. Something, yeah, you'd feel a 907 00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:47,880 little bit of movement. And I don't think tiny fingers. 908 00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:49,360 Throwing a sausage down a hallway. 909 00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:52,920 No, no, it's actually hot dog down the hallway. 910 00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:54,560 That's the right. Yeah, hot dog. 911 00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:57,840 But no, because clearly this girl hasn't had this problem. 912 00:45:57,840 --> 00:45:59,800 With. That I am joking, but what I'm 913 00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,840 saying is I don't understand because there was just no 914 00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:05,160 sensation, not anywhere, not even on her thigh. 915 00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:07,560 Was she like what Was she fingering your knickers? 916 00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:11,480 Yeah, but how did this like? You. 917 00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:18,920 Know when it's in. Yeah, well, I feel like this 918 00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:21,360 happens a lot, you know, when somebody has like a really bad, 919 00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:24,640 like dating experience with someone or like not even really 920 00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:26,400 bad, but it just wasn't great. And then they go on to find the 921 00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:27,600 love of their life and they get married. 922 00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:32,280 I feel like some people that happens to a lot, like they 923 00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:34,480 always seem to be like, Oh my God, the person that. 924 00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:39,560 I'm not necessarily like no, because I'm not necessarily sure 925 00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:40,240 that's a good. Thing. 926 00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:41,280 I'm not saying it's a good thing. 927 00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:44,680 Yeah, but this poor girl that wrote in is now marrying the 928 00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:45,680 girl. You're not on about how I'm on 929 00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,320 about the other one being the one. 930 00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:50,120 Oh no, I don't mean that that's the reason. 931 00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:53,280 But sometimes you can always be the person that's with with this 932 00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:56,200 person before they find the love of their life and get married, 933 00:46:56,560 --> 00:46:58,800 they seem to find. You're like the lesson. 934 00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:01,960 The lesson? Married within this 935 00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:05,320 relationship, No. So OK, look, I've got. 936 00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,040 I need to hear it from this girl herself. 937 00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:08,160 I need to know what she's saying. 938 00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:10,320 So worn out by. And even if it was. 939 00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:13,240 Also, that's the thing that worn out after 2 minutes. 940 00:47:13,240 --> 00:47:17,280 That is fucking pathetic. We need to sit her down. 941 00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:19,760 That is sad and pathetic. We need to sit down and 942 00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:21,240 disgraceful. Good word with her. 943 00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:23,800 That is disgraceful. I know none of the listeners are 944 00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:27,080 relating to this because I know no fucking listener of ours 945 00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:31,160 would be behaving in that way. Guys, I know you all frowned to 946 00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:33,800 fuck as soon as we mentioned that on this Horror Story. 947 00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:35,800 I know you all went oh God, deep. 948 00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:37,480 Sigh. You're pathetic. 949 00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:40,280 Because that is letting the team down. 950 00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:42,800 It really is. It is letting the queer girls 951 00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:44,400 down you. Can put off someone for life. 952 00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:50,880 Well, yeah, and do you know what we're all running around like 953 00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:56,600 priding ourselves on our ability to find the clip and keep going. 954 00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:59,680 I'd rather pissy mouth or shit. Fanny. 955 00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:02,120 No, I would rather shit Fanny than phantom finger. 956 00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:10,400 No fucking way, no way. I'm sorry Fire, I am sorry, but 957 00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:15,880 I would take phantom finger over shitty pussy any day of the week 958 00:48:16,240 --> 00:48:16,920 and I don't. Care. 959 00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:19,320 OK, I'd take piss mouth. What? 960 00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:21,880 Piss mouth over phantom finger? Yeah, yeah, same. 961 00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:24,800 Just get phantom finger a strap. Yeah. 962 00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:27,880 Do you know what I mean? Still managed to shove it, shove 963 00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:31,040 it in your thigh, crease fucking in your arm. 964 00:48:33,720 --> 00:48:35,120 She's like I'm fucking exhausted. 965 00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:37,800 No, I'm sorry, if she's exhausted after 2 minutes of a 966 00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:41,720 phantom finger, she ain't going to last one millisecond. 967 00:48:41,720 --> 00:48:43,600 Of the strap. That is true. 968 00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:46,320 That is true. I want to know if you don't 969 00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:49,520 agree with me here with Don Dog. Don King. 970 00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:53,120 Strapping is one of the best forms of exercise that you can 971 00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:54,080 do. You know what I think? 972 00:48:54,080 --> 00:49:00,400 Really, really hope your mum ask Alexa to play the latest episode 973 00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:04,200 of the Lesbian Supper Club and. If you mama's found a way to 974 00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:05,320 listen to this, I'm. Terrified. 975 00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:08,000 And if you think for a second that you're cutting this out, 976 00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:10,600 you're not. I'm not she finds a way to 977 00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:12,880 listen to it on Alexa. I don't know why. 978 00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:15,160 Do you know what's so funny is that I can imagine her in her 979 00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:20,960 kitchen going Alexa play lesbian supper club podcast. 980 00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:23,800 And then I can imagine her cooking and hearing you and 981 00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,680 being like, and she's like, she's. 982 00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:29,240 Slamming the the frying pan across the cat, she. 983 00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:31,160 Would not be pleased. She wouldn't. 984 00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:34,280 She wouldn't be pleased, but you know, but. 985 00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:37,800 She has your other sister. She's also just dirty, so she's 986 00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:40,800 just dirty herself. I know she loves it. 987 00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:46,120 But yeah, King Don will take a strap wearing very seriously, 988 00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:49,120 won't you? Yeah, and I noticed visible 989 00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:53,000 differences within my core strength, within my abs after a 990 00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:56,560 good old and just general happiness. 991 00:49:56,560 --> 00:50:02,200 Donna constantly tells people, yeah, how if she gains a bit of 992 00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:04,480 weight or doesn't look as toned as she would like. 993 00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:06,440 She. Instantly blames our sex life. 994 00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:09,600 No, I don't. That's oh, it's because you're 995 00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:13,040 not letting me strap. No, that sounds so toxic. 996 00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:15,480 I don't do that, no. But no, I'm saying it. 997 00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:16,640 You do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 998 00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:18,760 Yeah, but you do do it. Yeah, I do. 999 00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:23,160 Yeah. This true you. 1000 00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:27,800 It is true. I need you to DM us if you've 1001 00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:30,280 experienced phantom finger because I've learned something 1002 00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:33,720 today and I didn't think there was much I could learn about. 1003 00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:37,000 She's like, do you like that? Not the queer community, but 1004 00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:38,520 definitely the lesbian community. 1005 00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:40,960 I thought I knew most of it. Do you like that bit of air? 1006 00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:46,760 I need to know who else has had phantom finger or if you've been 1007 00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:50,520 the one who was fingered and the girl has said I didn't feel it. 1008 00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:53,240 Yeah. What's your take because I've 1009 00:50:53,240 --> 00:50:55,800 never been in this situation, I'm really struggling. 1010 00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:57,080 What? She was trying to do some Reiki 1011 00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,000 and that's why she was so exhausted after 2 minutes, 1012 00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:01,560 because she was actually projecting energy from her hands 1013 00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:02,760 and thinking it was doing something. 1014 00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:04,720 No Reiki puss. No. 1015 00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:08,280 OK. No idea that I will say it once 1016 00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:10,200 or say it again. That has dumbfounded me. 1017 00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:11,160 Yeah. Well. 1018 00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:14,960 Grouch is speechless, actually. Don is just thinking about the 1019 00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:16,760 strap. Oh God. 1020 00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:19,480 And on that. Note, I think that is the end of 1021 00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:24,000 today's Lesbian Supper Club podcast because Freya, as usual 1022 00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:27,160 now start taking it too far where Strapon is concerned. 1023 00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:29,240 Yes. And you know, we are still 1024 00:51:29,240 --> 00:51:30,800 looking for sponsors. Yes. 1025 00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:35,040 We've got some fucking incredible things coming up next 1026 00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:38,920 week, which you're going to see very soon, which by the time 1027 00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:41,240 this podcast will go out, it will probably be this week. 1028 00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:43,840 Yes. When will you put it out? 1029 00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:47,720 Monday, Yeah. Maybe, maybe Sunday. 1030 00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:50,080 So we've. Got some incredible stuff coming 1031 00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:54,240 up which I think you're all going to get your little Fanny 1032 00:51:54,240 --> 00:51:56,120 flutters over. Actually, I'm Fanny fluttering. 1033 00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:59,640 So I've got a good old. Some literally incredible stuff 1034 00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:02,080 which we cannot wait to share with you. 1035 00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:05,960 Joe what's funny actually I just realised Americans Fanny is bum. 1036 00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:09,760 Oh. So it's a Fanny pack. 1037 00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:13,880 Touch my Fanny. My Fanny is bum. 1038 00:52:14,720 --> 00:52:17,040 Why are you like shifting in the chair? 1039 00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:18,520 Because I'm going to teach my Fanny. 1040 00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:23,600 He's just giving me an ick. I knew it unlocked. 1041 00:52:23,720 --> 00:52:27,400 But yeah, Fanny in the UK is vagina, just to let you know if 1042 00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:30,520 you didn't know Fanny. Have you seen the state of a 1043 00:52:30,520 --> 00:52:32,600 Fanny? If I beat you up, that's not the 1044 00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:37,520 words, is there? Have you seen the state of a 1045 00:52:37,520 --> 00:52:41,440 Fanny Mad if I be anywhere in a Johnny Adiolo when I would be. 1046 00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:49,200 My migraine brain does not stand a chance with those lyrics. 1047 00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:52,640 I can't even fucking pronounce things correctly at the moment 1048 00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:54,160 so. I tell you guys it takes me 1049 00:52:54,160 --> 00:52:54,520 about. Five. 1050 00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:58,200 Also, I was listening back to the last episode and I noticed I 1051 00:52:58,200 --> 00:53:00,680 had a lisp quite a few times. I think it was the mic. 1052 00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:03,200 OK, just letting you know. Just to let everyone not there's 1053 00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:04,760 anything wrong with the list, but I don't have. 1054 00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:07,920 One I don't have one, yeah, you get cancelled by the whole list 1055 00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:11,160 community. No, I find I find a list 1056 00:53:11,160 --> 00:53:12,160 Scarlett. You can. 1057 00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:15,720 Fuck no. I find a list endearing. 1058 00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:19,280 We've got a really good Leo, one of our best friends has got a 1059 00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:21,720 lisp, and it's one of the only reasons why I'm friends with 1060 00:53:21,720 --> 00:53:23,440 that. It's my favourite, it's so cute. 1061 00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:26,240 It helps I get away with a lot. Yeah, right. 1062 00:53:26,240 --> 00:53:28,440 We're fucking off now because we've just been droning on for 1063 00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:30,400 the last 5 minutes about cutting this. 1064 00:53:31,160 --> 00:53:34,560 We love you all. We will be updating you soon as 1065 00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:37,600 well with regards to the event. Loads of you have message which 1066 00:53:37,600 --> 00:53:40,400 we're so excited about. It blows us away every time that 1067 00:53:40,720 --> 00:53:42,440 people actually want to come to our shit. 1068 00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:44,840 But what we're thinking though as well is that we want to make 1069 00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:48,840 it so us like we want. To have like trying to work out 1070 00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:51,040 the finite details? Yeah, we'll update your. 1071 00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:53,280 Details about you, right? Love you all. 1072 00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:54,320 Love you all. Goodbye, goodbye. 1073 00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:54,920 Goodbye, goodbye.