Hello everyone, welcome to this week's episode of the Lesbian
Supper Club podcast. We're back in the swing of
bringing our voices and antics to you on the Weekly, so I hope
you're happy and feeling grateful about that.
Yeah, you better be feeling grateful right now.
You better be grateful. You better be enjoying this real
good straight up. Katy Fucking Perry What is going
on with Katy Perry I. Knew.
It well, yeah, all the signs were there.
I mean, she was. She was single handedly one of
my gay awakenings like I Kissed a girl was I remember listening
to that song for the first time. And.
Being like wow, wow I. Was going to say something
naughty. And I think Katy Perry in that
era, I fantasised about having sex with her on average 30 times
a day. Why are you masturbating?
Oh 100% it goes without saying I I do you know what is sick and
twisted about me though? Multiple things, but Teenage
Dream, the video, music video didn't do it for me.
Really. I kissed a girl.
It didn't really do it for me. Do you know the one that done it
for me? What is the one where it's like
compare? Yeah.
Sons where she's like grieving a man yeah right, she's like.
Crying, I'm like, oh, I'll have sex with you.
I need to go to therapy. That's, I mean, I think she.
Fell off the radar, didn't she? Katy Perry, for quite a while?
I think she, I mean, she didn't, she's always been up there.
But I think the lesbian radar died down.
Yeah. And then suddenly, that
motherfucker. Shows up.
On like gay icon a Fletcher's Instagram everywhere Yeah, in
like the queerest fucking get up you've ever seen.
Her in that hiking outfit OH is essentially the funniest fucking
thing I've ever seen. That she's got the Jimmy Savile
sunglasses, The cap? No, but it looks like me.
That's what I look like every morning getting my coffee.
I need a T-shirt. That's the year of the lesbians.
Sometimes when I'm walking next to you, I think I'm going to
create at least a 5 metre gap. Do you know what, Ben?
Hope that you don't. I don't blame you, but also this
morning you were walking around in a bleached Adenola hoodie.
I'm sorry but I thought my fit this morning was very not in.
Hill even remember what you were wearing.
I was wearing that Adenola hoodie which I don't even like
anymore. No, but we've got no other
decent hoodies. Actually Quiz, can you drop us
some good brands that sell hoodies?
Because I really struggled to find them and I'm I'm off the
Adenola ones. Sorry, I'm going to say I am.
Well, do you know why I'm going to blame Soph Kalashian for this
one? Because as soon as she bought so
I don't know if you guys have seen already but the icon which
is Soph Kalashian who does all of the impressions of TikTok
lesbians which are fucking hilarious on TikTok right?
She's a great guy if. It's TikTok.
Lesbian. It's going to be on TikTok,
isn't it? Did I say TikTok Lesbian on
TikTok? Yeah, because I'm old.
All right? I saw that she that Adenola
hoodie and I remember it was it was.
Actually I was like, you've ruined it for me.
No, you said do not wear this. And do TikTok lesbians.
And she did. And now she's worn it, I think
more so yeah, the video, yeah, 100%.
You fucked it, now this. Morning, though, I was wearing
the Adenola hoodie, my large oversized Adidas football
shorts. Love those.
Fucking love white socks pulled up.
Yeah, and a pair of clogs. I don't.
I think it looks great. I think I'm giving like.
You say claw mummy, I I imagine these Dutch.
No, you know, like the Berkoff deals, but I've got the knockoff
version from ASOS which cost me £17.00 and a bloody brilliant,
yeah. Bloody bloody, bloody like.
It's very Ron Weasley of me wasn't.
Bloody, bloody brilliant. It sounds like you're like an
American trying to speak in an English accent.
Bloody. Yeah, I think I'm giving like
rich mummy in that. I'm not.
I'm giving crack mummy, but I'll take it.
I'm always cracking. Yeah, Katy Perry.
Katy Perry Look, so I think that this all stems because if you
think about was it 2008 when she released I Kissed a girl?
It was around that time. 2009 I think 2009 two thousand that
anyway, when she released that song that was obviously like
super unheard of, like no one, even though it was like I kissed
a girl and I liked it doesn't mean I'm falling in love, like
it's fine, but I'm still kissing her.
That was even though it was so kind of like problematic.
It was the first ever song that was ever mainstream that was
like so queer in that sense, right.
And so that only says to me is she must have been a lot gayer
than she put on to have released a song like that, because you
wouldn't, if you were straight, release a song like that.
Does that make sense? She's fucked multiple women.
She said. I remember in a Twitter bio
saying that she basically like kissed a girl and I thought
tattoo kind of thing like in her bio years ago.
How many women do you think? Or how many people like Yeah,
how many women do you think? Katy Perry's shocked.
I don't know, I would like her to shag me.
Yeah, I would like that. Too for me and I'd like even in
the hiking gear I would still I don't care.
No, it's we'd be, it's driving me.
Away from you, but it would drive me toward her.
Don't you love me in my shorts? I do love you in your shorts
because. You know that I love wearing
them and they bring me joy like. Yeah, yeah, Katy Perry's heart.
She's still hot. Oh yeah, I hated the.
Short hair that should have been that was fucking.
And I like short hair generally. It's not a I've not got so many
people look fucking amazing with it.
Not her. I'm sorry.
But do you know what? Do you know what it's giving?
It's giving me with short hair, Yeah.
I would look, you would look so bad.
I would look so so bad. Thinking about it now, I feel
like you'd give like Dobby mixed with Hold on, I'm trying to
think of the other one. Dobby mixed with Snape from
Harry Potter. Fuck you actually what you look
like with short hair. I'm not it can't even be
offended because it's so true. Well, we've seen you with short
hair and. You also look like a.
Fucking cockerels, asshole Freya, you actually do.
You get your hair when it's short goes.
Really feathery and for some reason it goes like cockrel
asshole colour it really. How many cockrels asshole have
you been like? That I've got an obsession.
Well, not cockrels, but I had to have an obsession with watching
hands push out eggs. When?
What do you mean when? Still going.
What? Do you mean did you say that
you've? Got an obsession.
I was no I've I've curbed it. Like, no, that's what it means.
When was? Not the babies, literally, you
know, the reborn. But.
When was this? It wasn't that long ago.
No, it's because I started following.
I didn't rescue this. I don't know when you were
asleep. It's because I started following
a hen rescue thing on Facebook and then I got like obsessed
with hens and chickens, and then there's something really
pleasing about it. Popping, popping.
Hell Oh. But there are songs go really
red. You are disgusting.
But that is what you look like with short hair.
It is so offensive. Your short hair is, that's why.
You stare into his asshole when he goes for.
A poo? No, I don't.
Yeah, you do. So do I.
I have to watch him because you fuck off.
No, I watch 5 metres down the road because you never ever I
watch and some ever pick up. I watch his little.
Knees. I watch his little knees quiver
and his eyes stare at me as he goes for a shit.
The knee. Quiver anyway, you look
disgusting with short hair. In my defence, it wasn't my
choice. You're absolutely.
I had AI had a really bad bad time a couple of years ago now
when I went to the hairdresser to just like cut out my dead
ends and somehow I ended up with a short mullet with a rat tail.
It wasn't even a mullet. No, it was all just Jack.
It was Karen. It was Sharon.
Full Karen Sharon combination it was do.
You know what it was? It was Denise.
Yeah, it was fucking horrendous. Denise chopping off.
Yeah, it was really bad. I actually was really not
mentally well. And then also I had a panic
attack and Scarlet cried. So that cried.
For her, it was that bad. And then I But you know what was
so funny? It was almost like people felt
sorry for me because then the next day we were walking around
and I got so many like Wolf. We got hit.
Oh, it was. Yeah.
Because honest to God.
You know what though, I must have looked desperate so they
thought, fuck it, I'll give her a compliment.
It it actually did look like grippy.
Socks, it looked like. It was a Britney.
It looked like a Britney. It it genuinely looked like I
had just escaped a mental ward and I didn't know where the fuck
I was going and I had you as my carer.
That's honestly what Who wasn't? Caring for you.
Who wasn't caring? A carer neglect was I'm actually
I. I can't imagine how you feel
because I'm still quite traumatised.
From this, no I am. I've actually got palpitations.
But like the group chat, sometimes the photos just get
dropped in. Because people still live for
it. If you guys want to see this DM
me I'm. Right.
No, I'm not letting you expose yourself like that.
I actually can't let you do. That that's so bad?
I cannot. Fucking awful.
Anyway, yeah, Katy Perry's a laser.
And. Everyone be gay.
But she can be bisexual. She can be pan.
Yeah, yeah. But she's definitely not
straight. That's going to be my calling.
Carl, I just hope she is she still with Orlando Bloom?
I hope. Not is she?
I don't know, I felt like she. Wouldn't be doing all of this as
she was. Do you know what?
Would be hilarious. Katy Perry and Carl Richards
imagine them two together. No, because now I really want
Katy Perry to be with Kyle Wade. No, Morgan.
Wade, Morgan, Wade, Katy Perry and Morgan.
Wade. No, Kyle.
Sorry, I want Kyle to be with Morgan.
Wade Yeah, To be fair, that is a.
Good, because I feel like Morgan.
Who would be a good fit then for Katy Perry?
Katy. Perry.
Other than myself. It wouldn't be Fletcher, because
I genuinely think they're just two powerhouse girls.
It wouldn't work, no. Sort of the fact they're
powerhouses, it just wouldn't work.
No, I just can't see it working. So, Katy Perry and are we
thinking of another lesbian or are we thinking of just anyone?
I'm not going to, I'm not going to actively put her with a
fucking man. Am I for?
No. But like a straight.
Woman, no, I don't want. No I don't want another straight
woman. No.
I wonder whether I want to wear the hardcore dike.
Who could it be? Do you know what this is?
When you realise how little little representation of queer
women there are in the media. Because like my brain.
Is going other than baby type gaze?
Well, I say baby gaze, but like new age gaze.
So like, you're Renee Rapps, you're Hailey Kochos, your
Fletchers, and then you've got your Cate Blanchett, who's, you
know, not who's fucking married, and you're kind of older gays.
You've. Got no one.
There is actually no one. Who could I pair?
Up Let's just put Let's just put up with another Real Housewife.
Katy Perry would be. Good with He's a Vanderpump.
No Dory. No, no.
Both had two hectares. 2 her two Kathy.
Rich, Kathy. Kathy Hilton.
Yeah, No, maybe it would have to
be Carl Richards. Yeah, I think you're right.
Done for so because it's. Not no, it's not right.
It's I can see Kyle Richards at the She loves music.
She'd be right at the front show, fangirl.
Oh, I'm sorry, 2 seconds. I'm going to have to.
I'm going to have to Google gay women in media.
Ellen. Fuck Ellen.
Yeah, see that all? Like it's like Zendaya who isn't
gay. She's too young.
She's. Bi gay women in the media.
She's bi. Oh OK, fine, but too young.
They're all too young. Like.
There's like General Taker, she's so young.
Who's that again from Orange is the New Black?
Ruby Rose, That could work, yeah.
That wouldn't be terrible. Yeah.
Gillian Anderson's popped up Kristen Stewart to be.
Fair. No Shane from The L Word.
Yeah, that that Meneg. Kate yeah, that would work.
Kate Menig with Katy Perry yes, Kate and Katy.
That is Kate and Kate. It's so lesbian as well.
It's so lesbian names. I can see that, yes, that would
be a really hot it would. It would be a good, good match.
Yeah, right. Well, you've had it here first,
Katie and Kate. Katie and Kate.
Get your arse in gear, get on it.
Katie and Kate go for that date. Have a bit of cake.
Anything else media wise for it that we want to talk about?
No, I don't think there is anything else in the media, is
there? Fletcher's cancelled her tour.
Oh, Lyme's disease, which is really.
Yeah, that is really sad. I.
Feel for her because I had a friend who suffers really badly
with Lyme's disease and I've seen what it can do and it is
absolutely horrendous. Yeah.
Oh, it's, it's horrible. It's really debilitating.
And I don't blame her for cancelling her tours because if
you're going through that it's like enough even trying to like
meet your friend for a coffee, let alone do a whole fucking.
Yeah, I mean, it's again me with my migraines.
It is life changing. People don't understand.
Just quickly actually, because I know so many of you suffer as
well. First up, stop sending me videos
of people putting their feet in hot fucking water.
You heard it here first. It doesn't work.
If it's worked for you, great. It certainly didn't fucking
touch the. Sides for me.
Sadly. But.
In the last few days I have done a compilation of new things
which Touchwood has seemed to have improved my migraines.
Just really quickly, I'm going to sit here with a smug a little
look on my face. Because that's not just that,
friend. No, but I actually think.
Haven't I said for over a year now that you've had a tongue
tie? And haven't I said for a while
that you should go to a Cairo? Yes, in my head I agree when I
looked into it more and come to the conclusion that
chiropractors has been medically proven to help.
Exactly which is what I found. We went and fucking booked it.
Did I go and book it as soon as I found?
It I did, I've been saying for a while because I knew that for
months. All right, well, you've also had
a fucking horrific neck pain, back pain.
You've got a hump like a fucking.
Get up guys. Go a camel on the ailments list.
Guess who has scoliosis? It's me.
I can't. As soon as she came out and was
like they've said, I've got scoliosis, I just thought.
I can't believe. It one more thing for the
fucker. I can't believe.
I can't believe I can believe it.
I can't believe, she said. My back is shaped like a banana.
In the last did. I make.
Myself have in the last month you have had significant neck
pain. Fair enough.
End mute trurosis, which obviously is awful.
I never actually count that you've had couldn't just let me
have the migraines you've had migraines and.
Headaches. I know it's been shipped.
You've diagnosed yourself with perimenopause.
I haven't fully diagnosed myself with that yet.
You've pretty. Much did, but it does seem to be
pointing with the perimenopause started.
To feel little like limps lymph nodes, lymph nodes spin growing,
which you then were like crying about saying that you had
cancer. What else is there?
Do you know what? No, I'm just going to, as I said
last week, I'm. Just going to fucking.
Publish the list? No, but what?
So everyone can actually see that what I have to deal.
With no. But what is good right?
Is that a lot of my issues actually?
You know what, Freya? All I wanted to do was just give
people a list on how they could help themselves and you've had
to jump in. And and tell everyone I'm going
to let you do that. But all I'm saying is is that
you should be lucky that I went to that Cairo the other day
because it turns out a lot of the issues that I have apart
from my endometriosis is all linked to my scoli.
So I personally don't think well for me the hot water didn't
work. I bought a.
Reusable ice pack from boots that I strap around my head that
helps give me re release but obviously doesn't like solve the
problem but it just helps give a bit of release.
Tiger balm temples it behind is back a neck that's amazing.
However, I one really lovely person wrote to me or DM me on
Instagram and said to buy some Celtic salt.
Which I bought. And you just put like a little
pinch on your tongue, like I think it's like once or.
Twice a day. I think it's working like I have
100% think it's work working. This person that DM D me is a
sports therapist and she was saying that a lot of her clients
suffer and they like swear by it so that has been amazing.
So I. Really recommend.
Does it kind of like put them So what it?
Is so there's a yeah. So there's a lot of research to
show that people with or suffer with migraines, they believe it
can also be a problem with the body's inability to transfer
magnesium from water to the brain.
OK. And the Celtic salt is obviously
if you put it on your tongue, it's got, it's full of
magnesium. It almost despite everyone
obviously thinking that salt dehydrates you, which in a lot
of ways it does. It can also really help some
salts with rehydration. Because it gets it into your
system. Yeah, better.
So that's been maybe that might be good for our.
Anxiety girls as well because like.
Yeah, because it's a magnesium deficiency and it's just good
for you anyway. Celtic sea salt.
Let's. Get your bitches on the Celtic
sea salt. Also, what did you get me?
The QE 10. So I got you Co Q. 10 Co Q10
I've been taking that as well and I think that's been helping,
so I've done. OK, hold on Celtic.
Sea salt. Celtic sea salt.
Co Q10, Co Q 10 is really good for energising fatigue,
migraines, de ageing. And I, I had a shit load of
energy yesterday for the first time in like 2 1/2 months.
And I went to the chiropractor and I think again, like she
clicked my neck. She, you know, manipulated a
load of things around my head. And I do think it has given me a
massive pressure release and. It turns out that you have a
cranial tongue tie and for years I have been saying I was like,
baby, you've got a tongue tie and that girls imagine a lesbian
with the tongue tie. Here we are that.
Makes me one of the best lesbians out there.
The fact that I lived by 20 odd years on this earth with the
cranial tongue tie and I have still been able to lick bare
pussy. Bare puss.
Well done you. Thank you.
It must really hurt actually. It it doesn't hurt.
Yeah. But I feel like, you know, when
you have people who are flexible.
Yeah. And you are people who aren't
flexible. My tongue doesn't really have
that flexibility. Is that why your head moves with
it? Fuck off.
Right. Can we move on to talk about
unbalanced relationships? Because that's the topic of
today. OK, so when you say unbalanced
relationship, what exactly do you mean?
So, you know, we've discussed this a lot and when I say
unbalanced relationship, I mean relationships, all of the
relationships that we experience.
So romantic relationships, friendships, family
relationships, those are the kind of three, even work
relationships, 9 times out of 10, you, you always have one
that is generally more of a giver, whether that be a
physical giver, an emotional giver, you know, whatever
capacity in which you, you see that.
And then you often have one who is more of AI, don't want to
call it taker because I don't think that is the right word,
but more accepting. Yeah, I think someone who is
more willing to accept and someone who is more willing to
give. It also depends on that
personality type as well, right? And that's fine.
And I think that can really work in so many ways because as you
say, a lot of it is based on someone's personality.
And a lot of people love to be able to give to those that they
love. And a lot of people love to feel
loved and love to accept love from people that they love.
Also, like depending on your time in your life, at certain
points you may need things more. Exactly.
At one point, yeah. And then another point you feel
more. Yeah, like this last 2 1/2
months, I have needed you a lot more to take control of things
that we would usually share. Yeah, like I've haven't had the
emotional, psychological, physical ability to step up to
the plate for a lot of stuff. So I've had to rely on you to do
it and I've, you know, willingly accepted that the same as
there's been periods of our relationship where you've needed
me to provide more in some capacity.
And I have done that for sure. And that's fine.
And it doesn't necessarily always need to be on that give
take. So you've done something, I then
do something, right? It's a, it's again, it's a
scale. It kind of drifts back and
forth. But we have experienced, and you
know, we've mentioned this before on this podcast, we've
experienced a lot. And I think in our relationship
you are much more of a giver in terms of the daily things.
Like you're the cooker. Yeah, you.
I can't think of anything else beyond that.
No, I'm joking. You are very like like you'll
get me my supplements. Yeah.
If you ain't getting them for me, I.
Ain't taking them, yeah. You remind me to drink my juice.
Yeah. You remind me to feed myself
like do you know what I mean? Those things, whereas I am good,
although again, you've been much better recently, but like the
solicitor stuff for selling the house, I would usually take
control, although you have actually been really good
because again, I've not been in the mental capacity to do so.
But most of the time that is how it would work.
Me and you in our friendships as well, we often take the role of
that. As a duo, yes, because we're
both givers within our relationship.
So then as a duo with our friends, we're like double
givers, yeah. Yeah, and we love it.
Yeah, Like that feeds us. It's a way of us showing people
that we love. Them I love people asking me to
do things. Yes.
And we for a lot of our friends at certain points have been in
the really privileged position to be able to help them out,
whether that be, you know, they, they need someone to stay or if
it needs to be ad hoc financial support, career support, admin
support, like sorting things out.
We have been in the position where for me and you, it takes
very little for us to do and give that to those people and we
willingly do it. Yeah.
We've also had some friends as well that have really helped us
out, like massive Oh yeah. Which has been amazing.
And I've been. But then there's also that
little, like, niggling thing in my brain that goes, oh, I feel
guilty, like I'm taking something, you know?
And even though I know that I feel great whenever I give it,
I'm like, please can you ask me to do something?
Because I think I now feel like the balance is off and I don't
like that. Like, I like to be able to give
you things, but some people in a certain space in their life just
don't need anything. I'm like, make up a task.
Make up a task. Yeah, literally I will do it.
So, and I think that's amazing and I think a really important
key part of having good relationships, however.
Yeah. When that dynamic is unbalanced
for too long and too severely so the you know the scale is quite
end to end, like the end to end is large, there is going to be
problems created. Do you know what I think?
Not created, sorry. Manifesting.
Themselves. Yeah, exactly.
That's exactly what I was going to say.
Do you know what I think happens?
First is the buildup of resentment.
No, so I would disagree it no, because I don't ever.
So do you know what there's this people always say, and I do
agree with this. Don't give things or don't do
things for to expect anything in return, which I really don't
feel I do when I give something to someone.
I literally don't want anything in return.
I'm really lucky. Again, just as I was saying, I
don't think there's a lot of stuff that like I need other
people for. If I do, I'll ask.
But generally I feel like I just get up and get on.
And sometimes I'm, which is actually to my detriment because
sometimes I think I should look up and ask for help, but it's
like the last thing I think to do, right?
I don't expect anything in return other than a bit of
fucking respect. Yeah, OK.
That is like for me, it's like my boundary is just just
respect. Just respect me.
Just show me a level of like. Common decency.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Noticed a lot that I, I feel
sometimes and This is why it becomes unbalanced to our
detriment. We sometimes take it too far
with the help and the support and the, the multiple doings.
You know, whether it be the emotional labour, the physical
labour, the admin labour, the support labour, which I think
gets to a point of like expectation from the other side,
which then leads to when we then aren't able to fulfil the high
standard. Animosity builds, yeah.
Yeah. And it creates problems.
And that can happen in, you know, relationships as.
Well, it's happening in relationships all the time.
I think for all of the things that we have argued about across
the course of our relationship, I wouldn't say this is
necessarily one of them because I think we're both very aware of
how the give and take works. Yes, I would say in large
largely it is very, very equal. I think in relationships it can
be really bad as well because if it gets to a point where you're
always giving to your significant other, you are, I
think you would feel more resentment than you would in a
friendship capacity because you're seeing it every day.
You know, the likelihood is you're living with them and it's
the little things, right? Like if you're constantly
cleaning up after them, if you're constantly sorting things
out with them and they get to a point where they just expect you
to do it, at some point you're going to blow.
Do you know what I can't handle is giving in this capacity and
like especially in like a relationship sense, you're like,
I really want to help you out. Here are the steps to do that.
I can't do it all for you. You take it on and then they
don't take that advice and then continue to mope around me and
then bring the energy down because I'm like, look, I've
done everything that I can on my side.
I physically cannot help you anymore, even if I tried now.
And I've still got to put up with you complaining.
Yeah, because you're not saying. That is my biggest.
I do think you. Need to take.
Accountability at some point 100% is people who continuously
complain about the situation and don't sort it out.
And I think we can all be Privy to it sometimes.
I've done it in the past. I'll hold my hands up.
But get you have to. Yeah, I'm sorry, but you have to
get to a point of fucking realism and get to a point of
sorting yourself out because actually you are in control of
your own life and it isn't anyone's else's problem to have
to deal with your shit. It's you against you personally.
It's always you against you. You are your own competition.
This is your life. I cannot live it for you.
I will do what I can to help you because I love doing that and I
love doing that for someone that I'm in love with.
But fuck me, if you don't take that advice and run with it,
then I can't help you anymore. But yeah, when that expectation,
when you fit, OK, so the worst case scenario is when you're
doing a lot in that relationship.
It's so unbalanced. You're doing everything for this
person. It's almost like this person is
your child by this point. They which you've had with
previous relationships. I've had this in previous
relationships, yeah. And then they expect, yeah, they
get resentful if you don't do those things, right.
But you're already pissed off because you've already built up
resentment because you're pissed off at the fact that you've had
to do everything. And now?
All the time. All the time and now they're
giving you shit because you're not doing it.
So instead of them ever looking and being like they're not doing
this to me anymore but they're also thinking well why the fuck
am I expecting them to do this? Yeah.
And also look at all the things that they have done, have done.
Let me jump down their throat about the one thing that they
haven't done or the one thing that hasn't appeased me.
Yeah. And let me go balls to the
walls. Yeah, exactly.
I just. Don't get it.
I don't actually, no. And you know, sometimes I think
that you can naturally and quite innocently build an expectation
because you're so used to your partner doing things.
But this is where the insecurity thing comes in, right?
Because if, for instance, next week, I know Scarlett hates me
doing the laundry. So this isn't really the best
example. But if Scarlett stopped doing
the laundry next week for me because she does all of the
laundry, all of my laundry irons, all everything bedding,
if she stopped doing that next week, I wouldn't then be like,
what have I done wrong? She's not doing it for me.
I'd be thinking this lazy little bitch.
No, but I would, I'd probably be like, I think in that scenario
because that is so your job, I'd be a bit like, baby, what's
going on here? And if you're like, I just don't
want to do it, I'd be like, well, then I'm going to have to
take on this load. I would have to have that
conversation with you because I'd be like, look well.
What's going on? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that's a really, I think like basic way of putting it
because there's a lot of like there's a lot of emotional
labourers. And also.
Financially, a bit about like the physical side of things, the
doing, but there's also a lot of like emotional labour and
unbalanced relationships where you're constantly picking them
up off the floor. They're always complaining about
something, you're always trying to inject positivity, you're
always trying to reassure them, you're always trying to guide
them into what they could do to help themselves.
And then the one moment you may give them a slight home truth
because actually the pandering to them hasn't helped.
You're a fucking asshole. And again, it's this woe is me.
Yeah. I can't believe you would say or
do that to me. Type behaviour which I I have no
time for. And we are so lucky now that I
think I can confidently say all of our friends, if we were to
have that conversation, we'll take it.
Well, yeah, I agree. But there's been friendships
where, yeah, we couldn't, and we're not friends with those
people anymore. Worth.
Yeah, worth, worth. All you got to say is worth.
Yeah, yeah. And let me tell you, I have got
to the point where I I am not doing it anymore.
No, for the wrong people. Yeah, because I have done it.
And we we keep doing this to ourselves previously where I've
known that I've not been doing it for the right person, but I'm
already trapped into kind of doing it.
And then my empathy is like, no, don't be a bitch.
Not that it even is a bitchy thing to actually say no and
fucking prioritise. Yeah, because if you prioritise
yourself, what's so wrong with? That exactly.
So I feel bad. So I carry on doing it.
And then when I finally can't, I get a backlash, which then fuck,
it creates a fury in me because I'm like, how dare you?
Because over the course of this relationship, the balance has
been way fucking off. Yeah.
And I've accepted that. And I'm I've been pretty OK with
it. Balance in relationships, I
think especially for like, let's look at it from a lesbian angle
because like we said, there isn't the rule book, there isn't
the man woman, the man makes all this money and the woman is
stays at home and she's cleaning.
And the women in straight relationships can't even do that
anymore because the economy is so bad.
Yeah. So now we can't even do that
anymore. The women are working and having
to do all the rest of it. So what is that then?
What does that balance look like in a female and female
relationship? Like you're both obviously, I
would assume that you're both working or I mean.
Sometimes I think in female, female relationships it could,
it could be problematic because we're we're both probably trying
to do too much. Yes, we're always trying to
overachieve, Yes. And and because there was so
much expectations on women, it is hard because, yeah, there
isn't so much, I mean, in every relation.
Unless you've got yourself like a daddy.
Yeah. But in every relationship there
usually is breadwinner, there is usually one that earns, has more
cash, has more cash than the other one.
There might be someone in like a completely different role that
might be a bit more demanding. There might be someone that's in
like lesser role that's summoning in that sort, not even
to do with money, like the one with even the less of a more
developing world could actually have more money and looking at
the way that they are together in terms of like personality
types, because there's as women, it doesn't mean that we're
always these like housekeepers that are amazing at laundry and
love to clean and and want to have babies.
Like it's not all like that. So you may have someone that's
more into the cleaning side. If it not, it's just like.
It's just like. You do get to fall into your
role division, right? With with us, there was no real
exclusive conversation about I always feed the dog, yeah and
pick up a shit. But I would say that even if
you. Always yeah watch it do my
breakfast but like at some point definitely had conversations
around like this is where I'm better at things and this is
where you're better at things it's not been like oh this role
is specifically yours it's like you enjoy this more we.
Don't have like a child. You're more good at this.
And also just some days I might clean more, some days you might
clean more. That's just the way it is.
But what I can say if you find yourself in a relationship and
you have a partner, like you might like to clean, but you've
got a partner who doesn't like to clean.
Don't let that be their fucking excuse either though, because I
do believe that in the house you should both be cleaning.
That's just that's the one thing I stand by.
How? Do you then like avoid this
resentment and like arguments and things around the
unbalanced? I think maybe in what you just
said, being like I'm good at this.
Well, I think it's like acknowledging as well that like
as the giver, if you're the giver, you have to take onus as
well about speaking up and not letting it build when you start
feeling that way or acknowledging that maybe the
balance is way off beyond your levels of tolerance to to speak
up. And if you're not speaking up in
fear of the other party, whether it be maybe a relationship with
your sister or your mother or your father or a friend or your
significant other, you're avoiding bringing up your
displacement or your maybe annoyance you.
Know what it's about this it's just setting boundaries.
Yeah, you need to set clear boundaries you.
Should be able to have mature, calm conversations with the
people around you to resolve any type of matter.
It's not always going to be easy.
Sometimes it can be difficult and get heated, but ultimately
you should be able to come to a relatively sound conclusion.
If you're worried about bringing up your feelings and emotions
towards something because of how that other party's going to
react, that's an issue in itself.
Yeah, I think it basically just all comes down to boundary
setting as well though. And this can really be like
really prevalent, especially like family situations.
I don't know if you guys have like been through too much of
this, but setting boundaries to family, whether that be siblings
or your parents or aunt, I don't know what your kind of situation
is, right? But as soon as you start to set
those boundaries and people respond negatively to them, you
need to be and stay strong to your own mental well-being and
say, look, well, I've made this boundary for myself.
They can react however they may want, but I'm not always going
to go above and beyond anymore. When I don't feel like the
respect is reciprocated or if I feel respected, did I just say
respect? I did.
Or can I actually just feel like I'm just appreciated?
I think feeling appreciated is, is it's such a small little
thing that you can do is just say, thank you so much.
That's it. That is honestly it.
You need to be able to find yourself a way of communicating
and sitting down and having a chat.
And maybe it doesn't even need to be, it depends on what the
situation is, but maybe it doesn't always have to be so
serious. But you can say, look, even in
your relationship, you could say, look, I, I, I think like a
few things are unbalanced here. I don't want to feel, I don't
want to feel any resentment because I love you so much.
Like, I just want to take some time to figure out what our like
clear roles are going to be and whatever makes you happy and
whatever makes me happy. And I think that like we do that
together. It's definitely doable.
But that being said, there will be times in your relationships
where just one point of that relationship, it could be a
couple of months where you do just happen to give more.
And then a couple of months down the line, you find yourself
needing to take more. And that is just how it works.
And for the people who are listening to this and thinking,
oh shit, that could be me, as in you're more of the taker, that's
not a problem. Just acknowledge it and just
like ask I. Think you can take the reins as
the taker as well? I think it's actually easier to
take the reins as the taker than it is to take the.
Reins yeah, look, I've noticed that like I'm a bit shit at this
or I don't do this very often and you do a lot.
Like, are you OK with that? Like, you know, I feel a bit
bad. What can I do?
Who comes back and it's like, no, honestly, it's fine.
Great. You've then you've.
Had it out. When they say no, say it again
because the giver will always say no and then say it's just
you. Sure.
Exactly. It is the acknowledgement,
right? Yeah.
And then if you're the giver and you're listening to this and
you're like, I'm fucking hungry listening to this because this
is me with most of the relationships in my life, you're
in control of that. Don't keep complaining about it.
If you're not going to stand up and change it.
Like if you feel it's detrimenting you and it's
emotionally exhausting you, it's physically exhausting you, start
setting boundaries for yourself because it will eventually make
for better relationships. And if that means that you have
to lose people or or break people out of your life for
certain periods of time, that's also your opportunity to grow
and find other people who you have a better balance with.
Definitely. Kind of topic of conversation on
that one. Let's roll into a Horror Story
today. Off we go.
It's actually not one of the worst ones that we have had in
terms of disgusting. The bar is so high.
The bar is so fucking high but it is a really interesting 1.
So this person said hello loves. I just wanted to say your
podcast is Bible and I love going to church every week that
you upload. Amazing.
I don't know how horrid this is, but I feel like it is so common
in the lesbian world. That's interesting because I
don't think I've never experienced this and I don't
think any discussions that we've had with our friends or queer
people in the community I've ever had a conversation like
this. So after coming out of a six
year relationship, I was going through my whole phase and was
living for it. And let me tell you, I was
pretty successful considering it was still during COVID times.
During this phase, there was a girl I had matched with on Hinge
who was super hot. Like dirty hot.
I was so excited to see her message me that I messaged back
hoping to get some sparks to fly.
However, this girl sent red flag number one up that I chose to
ignore by only responding back once every like 2 to 3 weeks.
Now I'm not here for that. Can't be bonded.
No, I've forgotten. I've forgotten you.
Exactly at this. Point.
It's gone. But my dumb ass hoe brain was
like fine she's hot I just really want to meet her.
After months of this back and forth we finally met up and let
me tell you how fucking awkward this date was.
Yes she was hot but it was filled with a lot of
uncomfortable silences and one sided conversation.
Not even a kiss. Good night.
Oh, you would think that the story ends there, but no.
So we met up for a second date which went considerably better.
Why? Why would you I?
Don't know why she. Went back.
She must have been, really. Fair.
She must have to. Be fair if she was really.
Fair. I would have I'd.
Have gone back and given it a second chance 100%.
Yeah, I agree. Can't blame you.
Or maybe I just changed my expectations.
At the end of the night, she finally kissed me.
Red flag #2 This was the worst kiss I've ever had in my life.
Why? She almost tricked me over it
was all teeth and weird tongue. Oh, how do you do that?
Like teeth clamming, clashing. I think I've had that experience
before. I think so.
But alas, I went back for more and invited her over for the
next day. OK, at this point, I'm judging
you. Yeah.
Because like because that would give.
Me the ick. Even if she was really hot, if
this was really bad, that would give me the ick.
The third date was at my apartment so I was trying to be
pretty clear on what I wanted. I don't even know why you
fucking bothered. Luckily she got the hint.
We started to make out, which was better than the first time.
OK, that's fair enough. And started to hook up.
I felt her put her hand down my pants but couldn't really feel
anything else. At most 2 minutes went by and
she sat up and asked me if it was good because I really quote
unquote really quote wore her out unquote wait.
I literally didn't feel a finger inside of me or even on my clit.
I laid there so dumbfounded that she was worn out by sex I wasn't
even sure happened. Needless to say, I told her
after this that we were better off as friends and I wasn't
looking for a relationship. She agreed that it was best and
that we could be friends. We still hung out a few times as
friends off and on for a few months.
In that time I had actually started dating a girl who's
about to be my wife in 25 days. Wow, the bar was that low?
She then just found a wife, no? I'm sorry, I'm joking.
But apparently us talking as friends was leading wrong
because on my birthday she sent me a delivered gift.
It was a box and as I opened it, 20 wind up butterflies.
Fucking how jumped out and flew all over my apartment where I
currently had all of my friends, my girlfriends celebrating.
Inside was a note expressing that she hoped my birthday was
great and how she wanted to try again with me.
Awkward. Needless to say I ended any form
of relationship with her because boundaries was not a thing she
understood. All I got out of this experience
was a phantom finger that can only do 2 minutes of work.
I hope you guys find this funny and feel free to blast me for
ignoring all of the red flags. So it was.
It was titled Phantom Fingers Finger.
No, it's so funny. Do you know what?
I'm fucking dumbfounded. She would have been better off
winding up one of those fucking butterflies and.
Shoving, shoving it down there, yeah.
Do you know what? I couldn't agree more.
But So what I'm thinking is right is that I understand when
someone's like missed the mark. So she could be on like the
crease of your groyne rubbing away thinking that that's your
clear. But the fact that she didn't
feel anything? No, but.
Anywhere. Yeah, but what was she touching?
OK so the clear I get right because like I've had it before
where they. I don't know girls.
How the are you any of you making this mistake?
I'm sorry. I know this isn't helpful for
the baby guys who are nervous to have sex.
But we're judging you. But like, we've all got them,
it's not that hard to find the clitoris all right?
If there is one thing about being a lesbian is that we need
to pride ourselves on finding the clit in under 2 seconds.
And if you ain't doing it, sort it fucking out, right?
That, though, Cliff's eyes are wondering.
I can understand, but I have had it where like they're on the
labia and not on the clip, right.
So we can kind of understand that.
What I don't understand is how this girl is saying that she put
her fingers inside of her and yet the girl that wrote in was
like that didn't like I found nothing.
That's that's where I'm confused.
Is not the clip, it's the penetration.
No, she did have tiny fingers, no.
Because you'd still feel. Something, yeah, you'd feel a
little bit of movement. And I don't think tiny fingers.
Throwing a sausage down a hallway.
No, no, it's actually hot dog down the hallway.
That's the right. Yeah, hot dog.
But no, because clearly this girl hasn't had this problem.
With. That I am joking, but what I'm
saying is I don't understand because there was just no
sensation, not anywhere, not even on her thigh.
Was she like what Was she fingering your knickers?
Yeah, but how did this like? You.
Know when it's in. Yeah, well, I feel like this
happens a lot, you know, when somebody has like a really bad,
like dating experience with someone or like not even really
bad, but it just wasn't great. And then they go on to find the
love of their life and they get married.
I feel like some people that happens to a lot, like they
always seem to be like, Oh my God, the person that.
I'm not necessarily like no, because I'm not necessarily sure
that's a good. Thing.
I'm not saying it's a good thing.
Yeah, but this poor girl that wrote in is now marrying the
girl. You're not on about how I'm on
about the other one being the one.
Oh no, I don't mean that that's the reason.
But sometimes you can always be the person that's with with this
person before they find the love of their life and get married,
they seem to find. You're like the lesson.
The lesson? Married within this
relationship, No. So OK, look, I've got.
I need to hear it from this girl herself.
I need to know what she's saying.
So worn out by. And even if it was.
Also, that's the thing that worn out after 2 minutes.
That is fucking pathetic. We need to sit her down.
That is sad and pathetic. We need to sit down and
disgraceful. Good word with her.
That is disgraceful. I know none of the listeners are
relating to this because I know no fucking listener of ours
would be behaving in that way. Guys, I know you all frowned to
fuck as soon as we mentioned that on this Horror Story.
I know you all went oh God, deep.
Sigh. You're pathetic.
Because that is letting the team down.
It really is. It is letting the queer girls
down you. Can put off someone for life.
Well, yeah, and do you know what we're all running around like
priding ourselves on our ability to find the clip and keep going.
I'd rather pissy mouth or shit. Fanny.
No, I would rather shit Fanny than phantom finger.
No fucking way, no way. I'm sorry Fire, I am sorry, but
I would take phantom finger over shitty pussy any day of the week
and I don't. Care.
OK, I'd take piss mouth. What?
Piss mouth over phantom finger? Yeah, yeah, same.
Just get phantom finger a strap. Yeah.
Do you know what I mean? Still managed to shove it, shove
it in your thigh, crease fucking in your arm.
She's like I'm fucking exhausted.
No, I'm sorry, if she's exhausted after 2 minutes of a
phantom finger, she ain't going to last one millisecond.
Of the strap. That is true.
I want to know if you don't
agree with me here with Don Dog. Don King.
Strapping is one of the best forms of exercise that you can
do. You know what I think?
Really, really hope your mum ask Alexa to play the latest episode
of the Lesbian Supper Club and. If you mama's found a way to
listen to this, I'm. Terrified.
And if you think for a second that you're cutting this out,
you're not. I'm not she finds a way to
listen to it on Alexa. I don't know why.
Do you know what's so funny is that I can imagine her in her
kitchen going Alexa play lesbian supper club podcast.
And then I can imagine her cooking and hearing you and
being like, and she's like, she's.
Slamming the the frying pan across the cat, she.
Would not be pleased. She wouldn't.
She wouldn't be pleased, but you know, but.
She has your other sister. She's also just dirty, so she's
just dirty herself. I know she loves it.
But yeah, King Don will take a strap wearing very seriously,
won't you? Yeah, and I noticed visible
differences within my core strength, within my abs after a
good old and just general happiness.
Donna constantly tells people, yeah, how if she gains a bit of
weight or doesn't look as toned as she would like.
She. Instantly blames our sex life.
No, I don't. That's oh, it's because you're
not letting me strap. No, that sounds so toxic.
I don't do that, no. But no, I'm saying it.
You do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but you do do it. Yeah, I do.
Yeah. This true you.
It is true. I need you to DM us if you've
experienced phantom finger because I've learned something
today and I didn't think there was much I could learn about.
She's like, do you like that? Not the queer community, but
definitely the lesbian community.
I thought I knew most of it. Do you like that bit of air?
I need to know who else has had phantom finger or if you've been
the one who was fingered and the girl has said I didn't feel it.
Yeah. What's your take because I've
never been in this situation, I'm really struggling.
What? She was trying to do some Reiki
and that's why she was so exhausted after 2 minutes,
because she was actually projecting energy from her hands
and thinking it was doing something.
No Reiki puss. No.
OK. No idea that I will say it once
or say it again. That has dumbfounded me.
Yeah. Well.
Grouch is speechless, actually. Don is just thinking about the
strap. Oh God.
And on that. Note, I think that is the end of
today's Lesbian Supper Club podcast because Freya, as usual
now start taking it too far where Strapon is concerned.
Yes. And you know, we are still
looking for sponsors. Yes.
We've got some fucking incredible things coming up next
week, which you're going to see very soon, which by the time
this podcast will go out, it will probably be this week.
Yes. When will you put it out?
Monday, Yeah. Maybe, maybe Sunday.
So we've. Got some incredible stuff coming
up which I think you're all going to get your little Fanny
flutters over. Actually, I'm Fanny fluttering.
So I've got a good old. Some literally incredible stuff
which we cannot wait to share with you.
Joe what's funny actually I just realised Americans Fanny is bum.
Oh. So it's a Fanny pack.
Touch my Fanny. My Fanny is bum.
Why are you like shifting in the chair?
Because I'm going to teach my Fanny.
He's just giving me an ick. I knew it unlocked.
But yeah, Fanny in the UK is vagina, just to let you know if
you didn't know Fanny. Have you seen the state of a
Fanny? If I beat you up, that's not the
words, is there? Have you seen the state of a
Fanny Mad if I be anywhere in a Johnny Adiolo when I would be.
My migraine brain does not stand a chance with those lyrics.
I can't even fucking pronounce things correctly at the moment
so. I tell you guys it takes me
about. Five.
Also, I was listening back to the last episode and I noticed I
had a lisp quite a few times. I think it was the mic.
OK, just letting you know. Just to let everyone not there's
anything wrong with the list, but I don't have.
One I don't have one, yeah, you get cancelled by the whole list
community. No, I find I find a list
Scarlett. You can.
Fuck no. I find a list endearing.
We've got a really good Leo, one of our best friends has got a
lisp, and it's one of the only reasons why I'm friends with
that. It's my favourite, it's so cute.
It helps I get away with a lot. Yeah, right.
We're fucking off now because we've just been droning on for
the last 5 minutes about cutting this.
We love you all. We will be updating you soon as
well with regards to the event. Loads of you have message which
we're so excited about. It blows us away every time that
people actually want to come to our shit.
But what we're thinking though as well is that we want to make
it so us like we want. To have like trying to work out
the finite details? Yeah, we'll update your.
Details about you, right? Love you all.
Goodbye, goodbye.