1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:01,320 Hello lesbians, No. I. 2 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:03,280 Can't you gotta say hello, lesbians? 3 00:00:03,280 --> 00:00:04,760 You've gotta say it. What do I say? 4 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:06,440 Hello lesbians. Hello, lesbians. 5 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,640 Yeah. OK, I love it. 6 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:11,800 No. I'm fucking dead. 7 00:00:20,230 --> 00:00:22,830 OK, first of all, so I have to preface this. 8 00:00:22,830 --> 00:00:25,270 I'm gonna introduce Nyla in a minute, but like, I have to 9 00:00:25,270 --> 00:00:27,710 preface this by saying that Nyla has told me that it gives her 10 00:00:27,710 --> 00:00:32,189 the fucking ick to Holder Mike. She's really upset about this 11 00:00:32,189 --> 00:00:35,040 and I'm really sorry. I want to apologise on behalf of 12 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:36,160 me. The community. 13 00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:38,360 I'm going to get the community. Everyone needs to apologise to 14 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:41,320 Nyla right now, but we needed to hear your voice. 15 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:43,920 Therefore we need a fucking mic. Yeah, just OK. 16 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:48,320 No, I'm going. To have to keep moving this mic. 17 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:49,280 There we go. Closer. 18 00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:52,840 No, but Nyla, we've got a very special guest with us today. 19 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:55,880 It is. Well, you go by Michelle Nyla. 20 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,840 Yeah, on Instagram everybody always approached me with 21 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:01,000 Michelle. Well, wrong name. 22 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:03,600 Can you, can you be surprised that they're approaching you 23 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:04,959 with Michelle? I am. 24 00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:06,280 It's your first. Name. 25 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:11,480 Who would choose the worst name like you always choose about 26 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:11,800 her? Name. 27 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,840 It looks like Nayla as well. So for so long I was saying 28 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:16,960 Nayla. Yeah, I've really fucked this on 29 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:19,120 so many different occasions. I've literally only just asked 30 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,800 you today, like what's your name? 31 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:21,760 What's your name? What's your name? 32 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:26,600 Actually, what's your name? You never have a good friend 33 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,160 where like you have both that's knowing their last name, knowing 34 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:31,040 their job or having photos together. 35 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:32,640 Yeah, that is one thing that I would say we. 36 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:33,600 Don't have pictures? Together. 37 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:34,640 No, exactly. That's what I mean. 38 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:38,520 We didn't know your name. The list goes on. 39 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:44,120 Nya is a content creator. You are incredible by the way. 40 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:46,320 Like so fucking good. Like I'm in awe of everything 41 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:48,880 that she does. I also would say that just 42 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,680 trying to set up this setup right now with the light was 43 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,800 giving. She knows what she's doing and 44 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,080 then there's me that doesn't know what she's doing. 45 00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:57,960 I. Brought all the goods. 46 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:01,720 Running around and I mean, how long have you been doing 47 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:05,560 Instagram and TikTok for? I don't really know about TikTok 48 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,720 because it used to be musically and I used to upload really like 49 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,080 little funny clips like it didn't feel that serious. 50 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:12,800 It still doesn't feel serious to be honest. 51 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,960 I struggle to take it seriously. Like TikTok is just like 52 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:19,120 whenever I have the shits and giggles, I upload something, 53 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:20,320 yeah. I think. 54 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:22,760 Yeah, you should usually upload the same thing that you do on 55 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:26,560 Instagram on TikTok. Well, I don't fit that category. 56 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:28,720 No, we are not consistent over here. 57 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:31,280 We are not consistent but still it works. 58 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:34,000 Which is really good. If you want to give people like 59 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,880 a bit of a lowdown as to like who you are, what's your main 60 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:40,360 purpose? The reason why I do social media 61 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:43,720 is kind of I want to feel like somebody has the biggest sister 62 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:47,160 they never had. That kind of takes away all 63 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:51,080 these big feelings about their body and that they should just 64 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,360 exist along the value of their body. 65 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:56,440 Because growing up I seen that so much with my mum and it's 66 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:58,720 still taking away so much of our lifetime. 67 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:03,120 And I found that exhausting for myself to see and be around 68 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,600 there and as well exhausting for her because there is so much 69 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,400 potential outside of the value of your body. 70 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:13,320 And I wanted to have an account where everybody feels like it is 71 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:17,440 possible to exist in a bigger body and have bigger dreams and 72 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,960 achieve things and dream and have friendships and all that 73 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:24,480 and have a partnership and feeling valued beyond that. 74 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:26,840 Yeah, that's, I mean, that's beautiful. 75 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:30,800 I mean, I think you do it so well because I obviously, I 76 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,680 mean, I saw your content like year years ago. 77 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,120 I think I've followed you for I've stored you for ages. 78 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:40,080 I finally got you. I saw I stored you for ages and 79 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,640 then it wasn't until like I know that you followed me back. 80 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:43,840 I don't know why. I think it's because you're a 81 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:46,200 base sexual. I've followed you for ages and I 82 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,440 always loved your content because I found it really, 83 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:51,000 really inspiring. Like I love the way in which you 84 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,680 don't give a fuck. Like you genuinely just don't 85 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:56,400 give a fuck, which I do love because also, why the fuck 86 00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:58,800 should you give a fuck? That's more of what we're trying 87 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,840 to get at here. It's like you, I think the way 88 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,320 in which you put yourself out there and it's such a positive 89 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:08,000 light as well. You're hot and you've got this 90 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,720 like you've got this personality that shines through. 91 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:12,840 But This is why I also really wanted you on the podcast as 92 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:14,720 well, because you don't usually. I don't talk. 93 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,000 You don't talk. You don't hear me talking. 94 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,480 I feel like I'm so much better in person. 95 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:21,079 What this is what I mean. So when I I'd followed you for 96 00:04:21,079 --> 00:04:24,400 all that time and then I was at Meisi Hoopla last year and you 97 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,680 were in the VIP bit with me and I ran over and I was like, 98 00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:30,120 here's the girl. I've been following her for 99 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:34,000 years and I like saw you and I honestly as soon as I started 100 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,240 talking to I was like, oh, this is a funny bitch. 101 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,920 I had no idea that you were this funny and. 102 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:41,320 Then I knew how funny you were. That's why I follow you, because 103 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,200 it was like she's like my type of person. 104 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:46,400 Oh, thank you. Yeah, you. 105 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:48,680 You don't give a shit. I also don't. 106 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,480 Give a I like this a lot. I just can't put it on the gram 107 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:55,080 the same like I feel like you do it so authentic while I struggle 108 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:57,960 with that because I bounce off people more. 109 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:01,480 I think, I think it really does just depend on what format it's 110 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:04,240 in. You know what And like I, I feel 111 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:10,160 like with you and with me, we both have started and been on 112 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:13,360 like a social media journey because of a very similar 113 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,120 reason, even though it looks different. 114 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,320 Does that make sense? So it's like, I want to be the 115 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:19,600 voice and the person that I never saw when I was growing up 116 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,680 that like needs to make sure that this is OK and you're doing 117 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:23,520 it, but for a different reason, right? 118 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:25,520 I love that. And I definitely could have done 119 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,560 with you too when I was growing up because I was so 120 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,520 self-conscious. Like I had so many issues with 121 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:34,360 my body and we were in like the Kate Moss era of like, nothing 122 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,440 tastes as good as skinny feels like I'm. 123 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,880 So back in that. And we're so back in that 124 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,800 because we're zempic, which we'll get into as well. 125 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:44,560 But there is this whole thing of like, yes, skinny is better. 126 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,240 Nothing like you. Your worth is all tied to how 127 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:50,080 skinny you are. And to be fair, even now I will 128 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,200 think to myself, if, especially if I'm upset about something, 129 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:56,000 I'll think to myself, well, I'm going to lose more weight and 130 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,400 this is going to be better. I'm going to feel better. 131 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:01,200 Let me do this. Let me like not eat or let me 132 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,640 like, you know, And that's really bad and I have to stop 133 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:06,160 myself from doing that and I don't do that, but like it's 134 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,920 almost like a knee jerk because of what we were fed. 135 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:13,600 So it's really. Hard to not have that with when 136 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:16,840 you constantly hear everybody doing the same behaviour to not 137 00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:20,160 have the same pattern I think. 100% and I think in the UK, I 138 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:21,360 mean, what was it like in Sweden? 139 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,800 Wrong country. Swedish. 140 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,280 No, not. Swedish, but I've been calling 141 00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:28,160 you Swedish this entire time, no? 142 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:32,480 I've trust me, I would be holler now you almost like Swedish 143 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:35,320 people are one of the hottest people that ever walked. 144 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,720 This is actually fucking embarrassing. 145 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:43,240 I'm like Swiss and German. Wow, I take it I I believe I 146 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:47,720 celebrate all the Swedish celebrations like Midsummer 147 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:52,360 crayfish festival. Maybe I use context clues and 148 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:54,520 you've got like the skin of a Swedish person that you're 149 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,720 glowing. OK, So what was it like in 150 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,680 Switzerland then? So was that like a similar? 151 00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:02,560 I think the reason why I'm don't live in Switzerland anymore is 152 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:06,320 exactly that they're still the same mindset as it's never 153 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:09,920 changed I feel. I think that's probably the 154 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:14,680 worst I feel within myself. I love the country so much and I 155 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,560 love the values we have and everything. 156 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:21,600 But whenever I'm there, I see parents pointing at me, telling 157 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,720 their kids that's that's why they shouldn't eat. 158 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:24,720 What? Yeah. 159 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:29,160 And people come point blank, come up to me and they say the 160 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:32,200 rudest stuff. And even when they don't tell 161 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,720 your. Face, Yeah. 162 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,920 Like I would be a dinner and there would be people talking 163 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:39,720 about me eating. Oh my God. 164 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:41,560 That I always. Like that actually makes you so 165 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,240 angry. And I was even gonna make a joke 166 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,440 and then I couldn't because it actually made me feel really 167 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:48,560 angry because I was gonna say when you point over and be like, 168 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:50,560 see, that's why you shouldn't eat. 169 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,480 They do that to me, but they go see, that's why you should eat 170 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:55,480 pussy. But no, no, this is no, this is 171 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,480 fucked up. This is really, really fucked 172 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:57,760 up. Well. 173 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,240 I feel like that's been. I had no idea it was that bad 174 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:01,920 over. In Switzerland, I feel like 175 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,880 maybe it's my experience. I can't speak for everyone else, 176 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,320 but that has been my experience in Switzerland. 177 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,120 I'm so sorry. Yeah. 178 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:13,040 And I feel like when as a country, Switzerland, you have 179 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,520 to imagine Switzerland is such a healthy country. 180 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:20,720 Like we move a lot, we swim to work, we swim after work, we 181 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:24,920 bicycle everyone everywhere. We eat seasonal, we try to eat 182 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:28,720 something called Demeter, which is even better than bio food. 183 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:33,240 So we take such great care of our bodies and the way of life. 184 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:38,280 It's not so much they grotesque out by the way I look. 185 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:41,240 It's more like, what do you do different? 186 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:44,720 It's like I don't have the same lifestyle because I exist in 187 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:46,640 this body even though I have the same lifestyle. 188 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:48,400 Even though you literally work out more than me. 189 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,520 Differently. So yeah, they can't really 190 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,280 understand it and I don't think they want to understand it 191 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,160 because as well all the companies where you could shop 192 00:08:57,160 --> 00:09:00,280 close on. I can simply not shop like there 193 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:03,360 is no shop where I could buy clothes, maybe like an oversized 194 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:07,280 store, but in the shops generally don't have this size 195 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,160 range. Like when I moved over in the 196 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:12,480 UK, I felt really normal. Yeah. 197 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:16,320 Like I know everybody speaks about existing in a bigger body 198 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,680 here and being here. There's. 199 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:21,040 Definitely nothing more about. That yeah, when you come from a 200 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:24,720 country where it actually had such a big impact because there 201 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:28,480 are so little people of your size, especially young people. 202 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:31,520 We have bigger people in older ages, but not so much young 203 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:34,480 people. Okay, I didn't, I really didn't 204 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:36,720 know it was this bad, but I but I can imagine it. 205 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:39,840 I think what really interests me about the fact that you just 206 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,600 said that though, is that, you know, you kind of escaped this 207 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:46,280 country so that, you know, you weren't feeling so judged then 208 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:49,560 thinking one, you're fucking brave then to put yourself 209 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:53,280 online, you know, in that sense. But I feel like, do you feel 210 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,760 like it's more, this is the way that I would interpret it. 211 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:57,960 You can tell me if I'm wrong, but it's more in the sense of 212 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:01,600 like, but it's more in the sense of like you're then actually 213 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,880 serving a purpose by putting it online because you're like 214 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,000 combating something. Whereas I feel like when you're 215 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,920 just trying to exist your everyday life and you're getting 216 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:11,800 fucking points and stares and comments, do you feel like 217 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:12,880 that's the difference? Like. 218 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:16,320 I feel like now it probably is because I see the purpose and I 219 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:20,400 see like the aftermath of it and how many lives are affected by 220 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:24,240 the things I do in a positive way so it holds more value and 221 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:27,080 more importance. While before it was just a space 222 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:30,800 of expression because I just didn't fuck with the people to 223 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,920 be honest that didn't like me or had something to say about me 224 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:37,480 and I just lacked the way I look. 225 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,880 I like the way my body feels right now. 226 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,880 It's probably the worst I ever felt in my body because of the 227 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:47,120 ability of my body can do. But before I never felt limited 228 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,040 because. You had that disc problem. 229 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:51,880 Yeah, like I had the disc problem. 230 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:55,080 I have like the PCOS, there's so much health stuff going on, so 231 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:56,760 that's why I don't feel good in my body. 232 00:10:56,880 --> 00:11:01,040 But before all that, I've been in a good body. 233 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:04,600 It never limited me. I would jump down a plane. 234 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:07,360 I would hike down, hike down. The fuck? 235 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,680 I would hike up a mountain. I would swim for hours. 236 00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:14,360 I would bike to in the winter to school. 237 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:17,080 Like, yeah, it was fucking hard, but I did it. 238 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,720 Like you've literally just lifted me as if I weighed 239 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,040 nothing like because. You don't. 240 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,720 You are super fucking sure like you're way. 241 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,520 Yeah, I would say like isn't to look at like you and I, I would 242 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,840 know for a fact that you are fitter than I am. 243 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:34,040 Like I don't work out like I actually don't do not barely. 244 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:37,400 Well, I'm always like walking around. 245 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,400 No, but I'm always. Yeah, I don't walk. 246 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,560 If you walk with me somewhere, I will be a kilometer behind you. 247 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,920 Although I, I do walk, I walk a lot. 248 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,800 I, I do work out sometimes, but like I used to go to the gym. 249 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,480 I haven't been going to the gym more recently. 250 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:53,040 I'm very just active. You've seen me. 251 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:56,280 I'm fucking scatty bitch. Like I'm moving all the time. 252 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,920 So I think it's a bit of that and like I, I, I think I've got 253 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:03,240 a bit of like muscle memory just based on like what, And also 254 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:07,120 shagging. Shagging helps a very active 255 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:10,560 shagger over there. We've we've coined strap bleaks, 256 00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:12,760 which is where your obliques come in, but it's from the 257 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,560 strap. It's like the the strap bleaks. 258 00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:17,240 Yeah. New term, new terminology for 259 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,160 the lesbians, your strap bleaks. But yeah. 260 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:21,400 I've had that before. Well, no, no, you do because 261 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,280 it's just been invented. But what I was gonna say like 262 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:25,080 when you're so when you're putting it online, because one 263 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:27,560 thing that I've noticed that you do get hate comments, right? 264 00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:30,920 And people love this is one major thing that I want to talk 265 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:34,160 about because it's like people love to talk shit online. 266 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:37,960 But what I did notice that they talk even more shit when you 267 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:41,640 post something about what you've eaten, which is healthy or about 268 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:44,120 you working out. And isn't it fucking ironic 269 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,440 because these cunts always like, I'm just thinking about your 270 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:47,640 health. No, you're not. 271 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:50,640 Because actually, when I upload something that's healthy, but I 272 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:53,720 don't look the way that you want me to look, you're you're even 273 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,640 more of a cunt to me. So pick a lane, right? 274 00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:58,960 And like these anonymous accounts. 275 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:01,080 And if they're not anonymous, they're so. 276 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:05,280 The amount of videos that are made out of my videos. 277 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:08,840 So like fitness trainers make videos with my videos to. 278 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:12,360 Get views. And sometimes it's very positive 279 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,760 and sometimes it's negative, but it feels very performative in a 280 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:19,840 lot of ways because I feel like it's always, they raise the 281 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:25,360 question if that could be of value of what I have to say or 282 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,040 what I do because of the body I exist in. 283 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:33,640 Fucking hell. So it's like me not dieting 24/7 284 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:35,760 or fasting. And I'm saying that is because 285 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,640 your cortisol goes up in the morning, blah, blah blah. 286 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,320 No, I'm just justifying overeating. 287 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,880 Like there is always a combat to whatever I have to say because 288 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:45,800 of the body I exist in. And to be honest, I don't really 289 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:50,000 care because I think if you live for everybody else's opinions, 290 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,920 you will never have a life that fulfills you. 291 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:56,680 So all these comments a make me money be the I don't I couldn't 292 00:13:56,680 --> 00:14:00,160 give less of a shit about it because if you come up to me in 293 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,800 real life, I will have something to say to you. 294 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,160 And if you don't value what I say to you, then you're not my 295 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:06,920 person. And simply you took more time 296 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:10,000 out of your life than I'm taking out of mine because you only 297 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,480 have so many minutes on this planet. 298 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:13,800 And I'm going to use them good. Yeah, fuck yeah. 299 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,320 Yeah, that's why you're off to Panama tomorrow. 300 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:18,880 That's why I'm off to Panama. No, no, you said it beautifully 301 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:22,000 because these people as well, I mean, I'm not being funny 302 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:23,800 anyone. And if you're listening to this 303 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,000 and you are that person that does shit like this, I know for 304 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,040 a fact you ain't got a fucking life. 305 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:32,160 Like you have not got a life, you know, and, and it all stems 306 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:35,040 from insecurity. But what makes anyone think that 307 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:39,640 it is OK to fucking do that? Like to me, it's insane. 308 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:43,160 I've I've lived in many different bodies and one thing 309 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,960 that made me feel really sad was just the difference in how I was 310 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,400 treated as soon as I lost weight. 311 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,000 Like, do you? Feel different? 312 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,880 Oh my God, babe, when I because I used to be AI used to be a 313 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:54,480 size 22 and. Oh, same size as. 314 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,400 Me. Look how she went, though. 315 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:02,960 So here's Freya from the past. I'm interviewing past me. 316 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,440 Oh my God. I was also bisexual then too. 317 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,280 Ohh look how the crumble this is. 318 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:12,880 Your future, honey. Ohh, Lord. 319 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,120 But that's the thing, it was like, I was, I was younger. 320 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:20,000 I was like I and I, I had so many, so many different things 321 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,600 going on. I mean, mine was very different. 322 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:25,040 I mean, I, I was going out and I was like boozing it like really, 323 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,960 really badly. So I was really unhealthy 324 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,360 because I really wasn't nourishing my body properly. 325 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,200 I wasn't exercising and I was drinking loads of shit. 326 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:36,840 OK, Like I'm talking like 8 pints of cider was easy, easy 327 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,840 down the gutter. And now I'm like 2 pints and I'm 328 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:40,920 out like I'm very not cider either anymore. 329 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:46,400 But like I, it's like I, so I've actually, I've, I've experienced 330 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:49,520 both, like I've experienced what it's like to be on the larger 331 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,400 end of the scale and like how I was approached, how people speak 332 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,800 to me, how men specifically would talk to me. 333 00:15:55,440 --> 00:16:00,160 And then the difference in just the respect level going up when 334 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,080 I lost that weight. We're talking quite a bit 335 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:04,720 further back in time. So I don't know if maybe things, 336 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,520 I mean, I'm hoping that things have changed now. 337 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,320 This was very no, OK, it's fucked up. 338 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:11,360 It's fucked up. I think there is. 339 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:15,040 I think with men generally, and there's other sexualization with 340 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,960 bigger women, I think. I had that sometimes. 341 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:21,680 I had a lot of sexualization. Yeah, my tits were huge. 342 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:24,600 Just not respect them or like just, I don't know, I feel like 343 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:27,880 there is no value in you if you're not sexualized as a big 344 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,240 woman. For a lot of man, when it comes 345 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,520 from a woman, it's different. It's always a confidence yeah 346 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,960 when it comes to a man fucking fuck that get run over. 347 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,320 But yeah, no, I agree they'll do that on purpose because they'll 348 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:42,080 sexualize to justify your worth. Yeah, and I feel like a lot of 349 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:45,720 men feel embarrassed about it or curious about it. 350 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:49,800 I feel like it's like the taboo to like a bigger. 351 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:51,320 Woman. But a woman's body is a woman's 352 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,200 body. I'm sorry like. 353 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:58,200 Ultra femininity, isn't it? The bigger of guys see it as 354 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,080 like feminine, like curves and all that. 355 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:04,079 So like when you are bigger, bigger as the spectrum, it's 356 00:17:04,079 --> 00:17:07,160 like the ultra feminisation and it feels like a taboo. 357 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,640 So lots of men, I want to explore it even though they're 358 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:14,480 not into it or they into it and I don't want to admit it because 359 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,520 there is the general taboo about it. 360 00:17:17,599 --> 00:17:21,520 Because The thing is for me, like if I was like a bigger girl 361 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,839 and I'm like, she's hot. I'm like, well, she's hot, she's 362 00:17:23,839 --> 00:17:25,960 mine, she's hot. Like this is this is who I'm 363 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:26,839 with. Do you know what I mean? 364 00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:28,560 But that. It's much from your inner 365 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:31,360 confidence, Yeah, Because you are confident with who you are. 366 00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:33,280 I feel like it says more about the person. 367 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,320 I think because like how you said, people tie their worth to 368 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,240 how skinny they are, a lot of people tie their worth to who 369 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:49,520 they're with. The amount of the amount of 370 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:51,640 stickers that we're gonna make from this video alone. 371 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:54,240 Do you know the amount of fucking stickers that Nyla sends 372 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,080 me actually on the? Sticker cream if there is an 373 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:59,520 emotion I have a sticker for. It no she does. 374 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,560 Like there'll be like 5 different stickers that come 375 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,240 rolling afterwards and it's usually just me. 376 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:07,240 Like saying that I've done something ridiculous just for 377 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:08,680 your entertainment. Yeah, I love it. 378 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:11,440 I live for a fryer's life. Yeah, you do. 379 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:15,200 You do. And you're free. 380 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,760 But I feel like men are crazy. Obviously. 381 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,440 That's a given. Do you feel like you get more 382 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,480 hate from men, or do you feel like you get it more from women? 383 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:22,880 Or do you feel like it's quite equal? 384 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:28,760 I probably get more hate from men, but I get a lot of hate 385 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:32,320 from women that are married. Really. 386 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:36,080 Yeah, and a lot of time they're religious, but what religion? 387 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:39,120 Whenever I check their profile, they usually tend to be. 388 00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:42,920 Why is it religious in the mum? Yeah, it's a Bible verse 389 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:46,720 usually. And they usually taken like it 390 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:52,320 never usually comes from a woman that exists in the normal body 391 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:55,560 and has like just a single life. It's normally like someone 392 00:18:55,560 --> 00:19:00,320 that's super extreme super Botox up, super like, like feels like 393 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:04,400 they have to have the body that everybody expects them to have. 394 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:09,160 And so therefore they project a hatred onto. 395 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:09,560 You. Yeah. 396 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:14,680 So I usually have that, or I have mums, or I have religious 397 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,520 women or like wives. There's no hate. 398 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:20,400 I don't really read for them that much. 399 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:23,640 Like there was one time and actually affected me and I had 400 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:27,280 to turn it off and that was when you know what is it called The 401 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:31,720 Shade Room shared me and which is like the biggest platform in 402 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,360 America. And it was like a fashion Nova 403 00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:37,960 ad I did and they re shared a video because they paid them to 404 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,640 it because I always think of the rights away. 405 00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:43,240 And on that video there was like millions of comments. 406 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:48,600 And usually I would say I have like 60% positive and then 40% 407 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,320 negative. And then as time goes on, it 408 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,040 usually goes more into negative. But then I don't check anymore. 409 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:57,160 I just see the cookie crumbling, which is money, so it just comes 410 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,920 in the more they hate me. Yeah, literally. 411 00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:00,960 Keep on hating. Actually. 412 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,640 That's the moral of the story, actually. 413 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,560 Actually, if you've got any bigots in your family, tell them 414 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,440 to go onto Nyla's page right now and we'll get some money. 415 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,960 Sentence affected me because it was just negative and it was 416 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,680 like stuff like if I would sit with her on the plane, I would 417 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,720 rather bomb the plane and let everybody die instead of her 418 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,200 existing on this plane. I'm sorry that. 419 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:24,280 Was. No like. 420 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:25,720 Fantastic thing I've ever fucking heard. 421 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:29,520 Fucking wild shit. No, but that's so dumb like that 422 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:30,880 is. And I was about to go on a plane 423 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:32,560 that day. What the fuck? 424 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:36,200 Yeah, it was bad. Like it was such like ridiculous 425 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:40,280 comments how my partner should be embarrassed about me and my 426 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,680 friends are just like pretending to be my friends. 427 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:46,480 And it was like they tapped into actual insecurities that are 428 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:50,160 usually strength. So like when I go on a plane, I 429 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,320 do feel nervous sometimes of a fit in the seat. 430 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:56,880 So them talking about that and then talking about how I'm going 431 00:20:56,960 --> 00:21:03,080 to die and how all my friends are just like friends with me so 432 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,040 they feel prettier and stuff like it was. 433 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:09,120 I was a lot younger by the way, I was like 20 or something. 434 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,960 So it hit it a bit different by now. 435 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:13,120 I wouldn't give a shit, probably. 436 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:16,440 Well, you just go back and be like I would just you would just 437 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:17,920 go back and be like, well, that's funny because I actually 438 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:19,760 don't sit next to anyone on a flight because I'm in business 439 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:21,680 class. Not with you in a quantity a 440 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:26,760 little bit They no. I'm I'm usually on a EasyJet 441 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:30,640 flight for £20 babe. Those haters don't need to know 442 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,200 or I'm getting desperate. They don't need to know. 443 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,080 You can just go back and be like see you in first class then 444 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:37,640 come. No, like it's not that bad. 445 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:42,320 It's I feel like what helps when you have haters online is when 446 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:46,240 you have hardship within family. I think my parents prepare me 447 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,480 for the worst time. So basically. 448 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,680 What we do to combat troll is more. 449 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:50,760 Trauma. Yeah. 450 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,680 My parents prepare me like I know what it feels like. 451 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:56,960 Do not feel welcome in the body you exist in. 452 00:21:56,960 --> 00:22:00,320 So that has changed over time because they wolved over time. 453 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,480 But it's been a battle since. I think I've been confronted 454 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,400 about my bigger body since I'm four years old. 455 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,440 So what they have to say I probably heard before. 456 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:13,040 So it was pretty rough growing up with them then in that space. 457 00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:16,560 Yeah, I feel like it's, it was rough for them because. 458 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,640 No, I mean rough for you. Yes and no. 459 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:23,000 Like I've yes, at times, but there I feel like it was rough 460 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,320 for them because everybody had an opinion about my weight and 461 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:30,320 my parents were quite young. So they were like 1719 when they 462 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,360 had me. Oh yes, I'm so many, everybody 463 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,600 says something about your child and oh, it's not healthy. 464 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,160 You should do this, you should do that. 465 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:41,240 And it was like everybody's opinion weighted down. 466 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:44,120 And then I don't think my mum's insecurities helped. 467 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:50,840 So she I think a lot of times she projected my value with 468 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:52,960 hers. A lot of moms do that. 469 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:54,920 It's the same with the gay thing too. 470 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,040 Yeah, 100%. My mom has to say, well, I have 471 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,000 to come out too. Is she gay? 472 00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:04,200 No, but this is what I mean. It's like tying a worse and like 473 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:06,960 tying, like being like, well, you're doing this and you are 474 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,800 me. Like you're like an extension of 475 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,680 me, you know, and like, I, it sounds very similar to kind of 476 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:14,360 how I was raised, but for the gay thing, you know, and like, 477 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,080 but again, why I feel like I deal with hate quite well. 478 00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:19,840 You know, if I get hate comments and stuff, I I mean literally 479 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:21,840 whatever. And I know that it's not on the 480 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:24,040 scale of what you get. I mean, you've got a lot more 481 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,640 followers than me. I can only dream to have as many 482 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:30,680 haters as you, but I dream. Was shared. 483 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,480 No, I want good people on that page. 484 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,160 I think. A bag, motherfucker. 485 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,800 But I feel like I like that was a very, very similar thing to 486 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:44,240 like the whole gay gay situation, you know, like you 487 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:45,800 grew up in a, in an instance like that. 488 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,040 So now when I, when I do get homophobic comments, whatever 489 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,760 that happens, I'm like, well, I've already heard all of them. 490 00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:52,760 Like I've been resilient. We're so done. 491 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,920 I was so resilient and like, you know, like, I don't know what it 492 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,240 was like in Switzerland, but being gay was an insult over 493 00:23:58,240 --> 00:23:59,480 here. So like at school it was like, 494 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:03,760 that's so gay. So like you'd say, oh, like what 495 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:06,240 would you say was gay? But like something's a bit lame. 496 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,560 So that oh, that's so gay. Like cringe. 497 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:11,640 I feel like cringe worthy. We wouldn't maybe say that, but 498 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:15,000 not so much in the actual context of gay. 499 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,880 Maybe I've not experienced. I don't. 500 00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:24,040 I feel like I experienced my first gay friendship when I was 501 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:29,040 about 1516, so until then I've not met someone gay. 502 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:33,640 Not until again now. I feel like I'm the mother of 503 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,280 the gay man. I mean, look at you. 504 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:36,720 You are. Look at me. 505 00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:39,320 You are like, I feel like the fats and the gays go together 506 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:41,160 hand in hand. It's like it's been written by 507 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:44,880 the gods. So yeah, I, I don't think it's 508 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,920 been so much an insult because we haven't been confronted with 509 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:49,200 it. But I don't know if that's 510 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,040 because of where I grew up. It's been quite like, rural, 511 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:53,760 like I've been on the border of Germany. 512 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:55,160 So also I went to a German school. 513 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:57,960 OK, cool. Yeah. 514 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,640 And when did you so to like reel it back as well? 515 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,800 Like when did you actually start creating content? 516 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,080 Like what kind of was the turning point for you? 517 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,040 And when did it go well, where you're like, oh, I can actually 518 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:11,240 do this for my job? I don't know if anyone remember, 519 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:14,960 it's the time of We Hearted and Tumblr where everybody did these 520 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,600 like creative photo shoots of where they would do like 521 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,120 bubbles, you know, when they blow bubbles. 522 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:22,960 What is it? With like with that bubble gum, 523 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:23,760 and they're back. No. 524 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:25,880 I don't mind. Bubble gum. 525 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:31,880 This is me doing bubble gum. What the fuck is my problem? 526 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:35,040 The fuck is wrong with that You? Do you put your tongue out? 527 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,720 Don't when you do it. That you took and put your 528 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:39,680 tongue in other things. Hey, God. 529 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:44,200 Can't even say otherwise, I got nothing to say. 530 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,800 I got nothing to say no when they would paint their faces and 531 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:49,360 stuff. And I always loved being 532 00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:50,920 creative. So me, my best friend at the 533 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:52,760 time, we would do it all the time. 534 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,480 We just take pictures of each other and it was like a fun 535 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,840 thing. Like we were obsessed with it. 536 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:01,640 We literally wouldn't meet up for an idea and find a spot on 537 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,400 where we could take pictures before Instagram was really a 538 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,240 thing. Like Instagram was an app, but 539 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,520 it was not. The influencer world didn't 540 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:12,720 really exist. The algorithm uploaded and we 541 00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:14,920 had fun with it. Like that is kind of the 542 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,960 friendship that we existed in. And then I met a friend from 543 00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:23,240 America and she did it as a paid job. 544 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,760 And that kind of opened up my eyes to, oh, that is actually 545 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:29,400 possible. And from the moment I knew it 546 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,360 was possible, I knew I was going to have it. 547 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,960 Like there was no debate of. It like yeah, even if you don't 548 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,280 even know it's possible, it is I. 549 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:42,040 Got it, I got it. So I worked like I literally 550 00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:45,760 done. I studied for a while because my 551 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:48,400 parents wanted me to study, and I stopped that. 552 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:50,800 Then worked for a model agency because that was always my dream 553 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:52,720 job. My dream job was to be a scout 554 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:54,600 and a model agent, and I was that for a while. 555 00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:56,480 This is really interesting. I didn't know this about you, 556 00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:58,960 Carrie. That was always my dream job and 557 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,960 with that I worked for another company that did like fashion 558 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:06,880 shows and then influencers were more of a thing. 559 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:10,160 So I was the one that was inviting all the people and like 560 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:11,560 I clicked with everyone really well. 561 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,880 And then from there I just kept posting and these people kept 562 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,560 posting me. So it created more curiosity and 563 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:20,840 I feel like I had a lot of people following me or watching 564 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:24,280 me because what I did was so different to where I was from. 565 00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:27,680 Because everybody else is very comfortable and there is no need 566 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:30,840 to put yourself out of comfort zone because we have a very good 567 00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:33,000 life there. Like you can have a normal job 568 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,320 and you have a great life. Like you don't need to put 569 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,040 yourself out of your comfort zone. 570 00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:40,520 Whereas over here we're like, we need 5 jobs, two side hustles 571 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,400 just to survive. Yeah, yeah. 572 00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,840 So it's kind of like that. So I feel like a lot of people 573 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:46,240 were curious of what I was doing. 574 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:51,240 And then I moved to Yeah, I had. For me, this list is long. 575 00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:55,920 So I did a waitress job for two weeks and moved back with my 576 00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:58,760 parents after I quit the job in the model agency. 577 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,760 I did the waitress job for literally 2 weeks at the time 578 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,400 and then travelled for two weeks and took all that money. 579 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:08,880 So every time I travelled I produced content and literally 580 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,480 three months later I decided to move to Barcelona. 581 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:15,800 And then the day I landed, I had signed my first contract. 582 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,880 Fuck yeah. Because I knew I was going to 583 00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:19,000 have it. It's so weird. 584 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,440 Like I feel like everybody always talks about 585 00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:25,280 manifestation, but I think it's just Lulu enough to believe that 586 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:27,120 you have it and. That's basically what 587 00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:29,520 manifestation is by. It's like, no, I have it. 588 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,040 Yeah, I always say this all the time. 589 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:32,560 I'm like, I have it. No, I will have that. 590 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,000 It does work. Like manifestation is a huge, 591 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,200 huge thing, but I think as well because you're like putting out 592 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:38,600 the energy that you've already got it. 593 00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,880 So therefore they want to give it to you like it kind of makes. 594 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,640 Sense that's what I feel like a lot of my life has been like. 595 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:47,240 I decided it was going to be like that and it happened, which 596 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:50,480 is very lucky in a way. Also, your content is really 597 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,120 like, I'm obviously not saying this as your friend. 598 00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:55,560 Like it is really, really good and it is very empowering. 599 00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:58,160 I know that like even just like me, I know that I have a 600 00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:01,480 different body, but I still feel good watching it because I'm 601 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:05,080 like, I'm feeling more confident about myself because I think 602 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:08,440 that no matter what size you are as a woman and as a man, but 603 00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:11,640 whatever, you're going to feel insecure at like different 604 00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:13,200 points of your life. And it does. 605 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,160 It's it's ingrained because. It's a constant. 606 00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:16,960 It's ingrained and it's always like everybody. 607 00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:19,440 Always talks about the body. Everybody always talks. 608 00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,840 I'm, I'm exhausted by it. Like, like in the sense of like 609 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,080 why? Why is there always a new thing 610 00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:26,520 that you've got? And now obviously we've got 611 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:29,600 Ozempic, which like, how has this affected you? 612 00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:31,240 Has. This affected do you think? 613 00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:35,480 I feel like it affected my career in sense of brands are 614 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:39,040 not pushing to step out of their comfort zones to work with 615 00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,720 bigger people. So I have noticed that. 616 00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:48,560 I feel like since Monjaro as well has come into it, obviously 617 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:51,920 a lot of people take it, a lot of people around you take it and 618 00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:55,080 everybody is autonomous to make those decisions. 619 00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:59,760 The only time it really affects me is when I see people that 620 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:03,720 live in healthy bodies making these choices because they live 621 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:07,560 in an unhealthy mindset. But then there is people that 622 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:12,040 take it, that live in what we would declare as healthy, but 623 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:14,920 they're not the healthiest and they take it and they feel so 624 00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:17,040 much better. And these are the people that 625 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:20,200 trigger the thought of, oh, should I do it? 626 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:24,040 Because I constantly go to the doctor about issues that I have. 627 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:29,560 And all I ever hear is this is going to be the fix for all all 628 00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:32,400 your problems in your body. And yes, scientifically it would 629 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,280 be. But I don't want to depend on 630 00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:36,800 something. It scares me. 631 00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:42,120 And it scares me how many girls feel the need to give in because 632 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:45,200 I know I'm I'm in a strong mindset about it. 633 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:48,760 Even me wobbling from time to time affects me because I know 634 00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:54,800 how many other women would feel so in like had despair with 635 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:58,200 themselves. 100 percent, 100% and I think that what it does is 636 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,920 it puts on another pressure to women. 637 00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:03,760 Ozempic yes, OK, great. Alight. 638 00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:06,240 Manjaro, great. If you feel like you want to do 639 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,560 that, you feel like this is going to help you, whatever it 640 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:10,880 might be. But it's one additional thing 641 00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:14,520 now which also other people can use against you too to be like 642 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:15,760 well, you could just go on the job. 643 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,080 But then even if you did go on the job then. 644 00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:19,880 Oh, you just did it because of the job. 645 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,840 Like there is no winning. Yeah, they're like, well, you're 646 00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:24,440 actually a lazy piece of fucking shit and actually you did want 647 00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:26,960 to lose weight this entire time. You weren't happy in your body, 648 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:28,880 yada yada yada. Like it will come. 649 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:31,120 It will come with so many different things that. 650 00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:33,760 There is. No winning, therefore, when 651 00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:36,240 there is no winning, you have to do exactly what it is that you 652 00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:38,720 feel like is right for your body because it doesn't fucking 653 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:40,080 matter what these pricks have to say. 654 00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:45,160 And and it does obviously it makes me it makes me cross that 655 00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,560 this is the, this is the life that we're living right now. 656 00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:50,440 And that is what's kind of brought back the heroin cheek, 657 00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:53,400 like the cheekbones are sticking out the hip bones. 658 00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:55,400 Make sure they're out, make sure the skinny jeans are on like 659 00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:55,960 whatever. It is. 660 00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:59,120 It's not gonna be trending long because now it's achievable. 661 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,760 Like I think there is like a thing about trend prediction, 662 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:03,640 obviously, and that happens with our bodies. 663 00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:06,960 As soon as something becomes economically available for the 664 00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:10,480 people that are of poorer class or like have no money, let's say 665 00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:13,960 it like that, the trend shifts. Trust me, as soon as you will be 666 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:17,880 able to afford it, the trend will shift and it will shift 667 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:19,760 into and people already. Doing that because they're doing 668 00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:22,400 black market shit. Yeah, it's shifting into 669 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,440 Wellness and fitter and stronger bodies. 670 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:26,960 This is going to be the next thing. 671 00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:30,000 And I do think then it's going to be hard to attain. 672 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,760 So not only do you lose fat, you also lose muscle. 673 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,800 And when you have lost that, it's obviously it takes you a 674 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:41,080 lot more strength to retain or regain that muscle to then 675 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:44,280 follow another grand trend. And the moral of the story is, 676 00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:45,920 just don't follow fucking bodies. 677 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,880 There is always going to be a trend that's always going to 678 00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:50,680 change. You just need to love the body 679 00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:54,160 that you're in and do what's best for that body to achieve 680 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:56,440 the dreams and things that fulfil you. 681 00:32:56,880 --> 00:33:01,600 So if you think Monjaro is going to help you to exist in a body 682 00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:04,720 where you can hike, and if you're strong enough to do that, 683 00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:08,200 or you can like party without feeling exhausted, you can have 684 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,320 meals with your friends without feeling guilty. 685 00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:12,160 And I think as well. That's the right decision. 686 00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:15,760 I feel like any a decision like that just needs to feel best for 687 00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,560 you and not around body trends because they're always changing 688 00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:20,960 and you're always going to chase something and then you're going 689 00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,360 to chase something for all your life, which is quite sad. 690 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:25,880 Yeah, you're just running and running and running and running 691 00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:31,760 and constantly yeah, 100% bitch. So I so obviously you're on a 692 00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:33,360 lesbian podcast now that you know that, right? 693 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:37,280 You don't know what happens on this podcast when the lights. 694 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,480 Go down apart from 1 scene that we. 695 00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:44,960 Won't talk about it soon. So you've mentioned to me before 696 00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:48,800 that you're bisexual and I know that this is not something that 697 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,480 you put out online either. I mean, I know that you've got 698 00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,320 you've got a partner. So like you've got a, you've got 699 00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,600 a male partner. So I feel like, do you feel that 700 00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:59,440 stopped you from opening up about your sexuality online or 701 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:01,320 is it more the fact that you're like, well, I'm already doing 702 00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:04,240 one thing? I don't know, I never really 703 00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:08,760 felt like I needed to put it out there because I didn't feel like 704 00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:12,080 I existed in a gay enough. So fun. 705 00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:15,920 Yeah yeah. Dick I I don't know, I always 706 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:19,199 felt like when I would go to a gay club, I always felt like I 707 00:34:19,199 --> 00:34:22,239 was going with my gay friends, even though I'm gay myself. 708 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:26,760 So yeah, I never really felt like something that will. 709 00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:30,480 It felt nearly too vulnerable to have put it out there because I 710 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:33,320 don't even know where I belong in that spectrum. 711 00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:36,080 Does that make sense? But I feel like in, in a way to 712 00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:39,159 discover where you belong is putting yourself within it, you 713 00:34:39,159 --> 00:34:40,440 know? And that doesn't mean fucking. 714 00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:43,159 I mean, I've tried, I tried before. 715 00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,679 Before I was with my boyfriend, I tried dating girls because I 716 00:34:45,679 --> 00:34:48,120 knew I wanted to date girls and it just went. 717 00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:52,159 It didn't go well and I left me over a year of suffering. 718 00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:55,719 I mean, welcome to the lesbian. Experience yeah, welcome. 719 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,880 I just, it just didn't even happen for me. 720 00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:02,080 So I felt like I didn't want to change the like I love existing 721 00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:06,080 feminine, I love all that. And I felt like I would have to 722 00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:09,920 change myself in order to be seen and accepted or liked and I 723 00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:12,080 didn't want. That you're looking at me right 724 00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:13,640 now. Like, I mean, I'm, I'm not as 725 00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:17,480 feminine as you are, but like I exist in a feminine way and 726 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,200 there's a lot of other feminines as well. 727 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:21,040 This goes like completely against. 728 00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,680 There is just such a trope and a stereotype of lesbians that you 729 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,360 have to look a certain way. Do you still feel like you would 730 00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:28,600 feel too feminine to exist in that space? 731 00:35:29,240 --> 00:35:34,400 No, I don't think it has so much to do with my appearance now. 732 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:38,240 I feel like now it's more like, I don't think I would feel 733 00:35:38,240 --> 00:35:44,240 confident enough to make the approach if I were in that space 734 00:35:44,720 --> 00:35:47,000 because I respect women so highly. 735 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:52,160 So I just I panic. Basically. 736 00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:56,520 I gave man it's just so easy like there is not a lot in their 737 00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:58,800 heads. I'm not, my partner is fine, but 738 00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:03,440 the rest of the little bugs out there, it's not like I just 739 00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:06,400 don't think a lot of them. So find it very easy. 740 00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:09,560 Well, when you think so highly of a specimen, which is women, 741 00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,160 it's quite hard. That's really interesting. 742 00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:14,640 Do you feel like a part of that has to do with your femininity 743 00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:16,800 or do you think that it's due to like lack of experience? 744 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:18,880 Like what is it? I mean, because you're saying 745 00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:21,200 that it's about the other woman and it's about the respect and 746 00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:23,720 it's kind of stuff, but is it more so because you respect them 747 00:36:23,720 --> 00:36:25,920 more that if you were potentially rejected it would 748 00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:27,440 hurt more? Whereas with manual I fuck off. 749 00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:29,400 Not like it would happen anyway, but you know what I mean. 750 00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:32,720 I'm not no interesting because I don't. 751 00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,400 I feel like you're asking me questions I've never asked 752 00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:38,680 myself. I have experience. 753 00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:41,680 I have experience. I don't think I have the 754 00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:45,280 experience that I wanted. Like I never dated a girl. 755 00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:46,880 I've never been in a relationship with a girl. 756 00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:50,640 When I was at the stage where I opened up to the idea of 757 00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:53,840 actually being in a relationship with a girl was quite late, 758 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:56,600 while before I was always sexually attractive, really 759 00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,840 strongly to women. So my first few experiences 760 00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:04,960 always been with women and then later on went into man and I 761 00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:07,520 happened to be in relationship with a male species. 762 00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:12,080 All of them, all of them. So and it just never happened to 763 00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:15,760 me that I met someone where it actually like clicked and I felt 764 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:18,920 that mutual as well. Connection. 765 00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:22,600 Yeah, Minds. Did you feel though that like, 766 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,320 you know, you were saying that when you when you were growing 767 00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:27,920 up as well, that you felt so different and you know, you were 768 00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:30,600 said and it was talked about. Do you ever feel like your 769 00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:32,080 sexuality came into play with that as well? 770 00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:33,960 Because you're like, well, not only are they judging me for 771 00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:36,160 this, but also they don't know this other thing that I'm not 772 00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:41,520 wearing outward, but it's in me. Yeah, in a way I feel the least 773 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:43,000 confident in the room full of women. 774 00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:44,240 Really. Yeah. 775 00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:48,720 Like I feel less confident in a room full of women than a room 776 00:37:48,720 --> 00:37:51,200 full of men. And when I'm a room full of men, 777 00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:52,960 I fully, it's good. That you're in a room full of 778 00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:56,280 women. Yeah, shaking, shaking. 779 00:37:56,600 --> 00:38:00,000 Like if I choose the woman and always say I know them, I'm 780 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:03,400 fine. But like the female gym is my 781 00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:05,000 personal hell. Like you would never. 782 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:08,280 Get your biggest up. Yeah, because I feel like it's 783 00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:12,920 the space where I know there are such such complex thoughts about 784 00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:14,640 bodies and stuff and they're always projected. 785 00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:19,920 So I just don't feel really safe in that space because I always 786 00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:25,240 had the most experiences in physical form when I've been 787 00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:28,640 confronted about my body has always been with a female or 788 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:32,760 female member of my family so. So it's a bit more triggering, 789 00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:35,480 yeah, and maybe more of an expectation that you might be 790 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:37,640 putting on to them, even though they might not even be thinking 791 00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:39,360 it. But This is why I need to get 792 00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:42,640 you to one of our lesbian Why nights, like so bad Because I 793 00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:44,840 feel like exposure therapy probably do it. 794 00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:49,160 But I think in a sense of like, because even if you are, you 795 00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:50,920 know, even if you have a boyfriend, it doesn't mean that 796 00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,200 you are not allowed in queer spaces because you are a queer 797 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:54,520 woman. And I want you to be able to 798 00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:58,320 feel accepted and be in a space. And I think that it's only by 799 00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,280 doing those things that will allow you to open up your mind 800 00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:04,480 to then be like, oh, actually that felt good, you know, and, 801 00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:07,160 and I can do that. And and I know that it's really 802 00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:10,840 daunting for like multiple, multiple reasons, but it's like 803 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:16,320 women and you and the way in which you can still discover 804 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:19,720 your sexuality without necessarily like being sexual 805 00:39:19,720 --> 00:39:22,240 with somebody else. It's like a journey that like 806 00:39:22,240 --> 00:39:23,440 maybe it's like untapped for you. 807 00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,400 Like it's something that you can like discover. 808 00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:27,480 And I think that that would be a really exciting thing for you. 809 00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:30,920 I know you'd be the biggest fucking slut ever. 810 00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:33,280 So God forbid. What do you think that? 811 00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:35,880 I mean, I feel like you would thrive in that environment. 812 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:39,560 And yeah, you've been so nice to be like, I'm actually looking 813 00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:41,920 forward and I'm gutted that I never made it because I feel 814 00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:45,280 like I've never been in a gay space where I felt like I was 815 00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:47,520 there for myself or representing myself. 816 00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:51,640 Because I always felt like I had all my gay mates with me and I 817 00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:54,160 just felt like I'm just the gay Mama. 818 00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:57,280 Like I never felt like I was there for me even though I. 819 00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,240 Share. Yeah. 820 00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:02,400 But like, but you need to now be in a space where you do feel 821 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:03,320 like it is for you. Yeah. 822 00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:05,200 Like I'm old enough. You're old enough. 823 00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:08,880 I'm old enough now. It's time, but I feel like you 824 00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:12,480 yeah, you would thrive in it and we would all love to have you 825 00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:14,040 there. I think that what is really nice 826 00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,440 about this community as well as that it is so accepting, I think 827 00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:19,160 especially with the with the queer women, because we. 828 00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:20,880 Feel like you're the king of the fucking queers. 829 00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:24,160 You have such a nice community and I think that is very much 830 00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:24,800 missing. Or is that? 831 00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:28,520 We have a nice community, woman. Come on, you're already saying. 832 00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,160 We. Yeah, we. 833 00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:35,520 We have a nice community. No, but it's like you're in it 834 00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:37,400 though. Like we have a nice community, 835 00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:37,920 you know? OK. 836 00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:40,560 That that baffles my brain now, no. 837 00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:42,080 Well, so you look at me, including you. 838 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,240 Thank you. But I do think, yeah, that's. 839 00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:49,200 What you're doing your job? Kind of I'm semi just like 840 00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:51,440 lesbian mum. I always go to your lesbian 841 00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:53,040 mother speaking. I do genuinely feel like a 842 00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:57,520 lesbian mother sometimes but it's nice to spread the gay. 843 00:40:57,800 --> 00:40:59,600 But I think the legs spread the legs. 844 00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:01,480 Spread the legs. Quote from Fryer. 845 00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:05,400 It is really nice to spread the legs and maybe 2026 ends is 846 00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:08,600 spreading legs more, closing lips, spreading legs. 847 00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,520 Please guys, do it for me. Just do it. 848 00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:13,560 Tell me all the stories. So neither can live. 849 00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:16,760 I live through. Write it in so I can talk about 850 00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:19,560 it on the podcast and then just you can listen to it and just 851 00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:22,760 cry in a corner of the summer. There was one thing that you you 852 00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:26,240 could say to maybe like a younger you that, you know, when 853 00:41:26,240 --> 00:41:29,040 you weren't so confident and was in the space that you're in, 854 00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:31,480 like what is it that you think that you would want to leave 855 00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:32,360 them with that's. Hard. 856 00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:35,600 I feel like I've always been. That's probably the biggest 857 00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:38,800 struggle for me is I've always felt quite confident, but like 858 00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:41,640 the only space I haven't felt confident is probably the career 859 00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:43,880 space. And I'm still to explore that. 860 00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:49,160 But I think allow yourself to exist in places that you don't 861 00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:52,320 feel like you belong and explored the possibility that 862 00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:56,080 you could potentially belong, or not only belong, but also lead 863 00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:57,800 the motherfuckers. I agree. 864 00:41:57,840 --> 00:41:59,320 Yeah, it's fucking good. Yeah. 865 00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:00,880 And also just be delusional as. Fuck yeah. 866 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:02,960 Be delusional as fuck, yeah. It will do it. 867 00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:05,280 Honestly, you're fucking amazing to talk to. 868 00:42:05,720 --> 00:42:07,520 I love talking to you anyway but I feel like I'm so. 869 00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:11,040 Shy. I don't think we've ever been so 870 00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:13,720 serious. No, this is the most serious. 871 00:42:13,720 --> 00:42:17,680 Yeah, this is very serious talk. No, it's the most serious we've 872 00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:20,360 ever spoken. She knows no more about me than 873 00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:22,280 before. No, I love it, but we usually 874 00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:25,160 whenever we talk about serious topic we kind of flood like in 875 00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:27,280 and out and you can just RIP the shit into me, which you're not 876 00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:29,400 going to do on here because you're scared of the lesbians 877 00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:33,640 coming for you. Well, I let Freya choose a clown 878 00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:35,000 outfit the other day. She did. 879 00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:41,320 She literally sent me a little 33 clown outfits and then just 880 00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:42,560 put underneath. Go ahead, pick one. 881 00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:47,360 I might sell you one for the next night. 882 00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:49,800 When I come, you will wear. It but yeah, yeah. 883 00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:51,800 Well, I'm going to make sure that you come when you're back 884 00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:53,240 from Panama. You're coming to the first 885 00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:55,440 lesbian my night. That is whenever the part that's 886 00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:57,240 going to be when you're back, you have to come. 887 00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:00,040 Valentine's Day. Oh, yeah. 888 00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:02,120 I love you so much. You're the best. 889 00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:05,320 And we love you lesbians. We will speak to you next week. 890 00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:05,560 Bye.