Hello, lesbians. I'm Freya.
This is manager Liv joining me today.
Everyone on the sofa, she's ready to go out.
She's looking gorgeous in her Skims top.
And I have just. Yeah, you.
Put your tits out. My tits out.
Yeah, yeah. Tequila to my right.
I've got Ziggy in front of me. Ziggy.
And it's just a great yeah. Oh, it's very nice to have the
dog in between us actually when we do this, because it just
gives me something to. Also just been bathed today so
he's looking extra fluffy. His chest is looking very poof.
You're looking gorgeous. Gorgeous.
But we were just talking, we were saying first of all,
fucking Merry Christmas. Secondly, I was saying that like
loads of people universally I've had a really shit 2024 and so
now Christmas everyone's like oh for fucks.
Sake, because it's another thing.
And also Christmas is expensive. Yeah, especially in this current
financial climate. I mean, yeah.
It is it is an expense. Joe.
One thing that I was thinking about the other day as well is,
you know, like to little kids are like if you've been naughty
or nice, you'll get your presents if you've been good and
it's like imagine what all the poor kids are like.
There was out there like the other day.
Yeah, just sat there with like nothing or something and think,
oh, I'm naughty then like. Joey, the whole coal, like
you're getting coal if you're naughty.
I think that's kind of, I don't think people say that.
No, they still do the naughty and nice list though.
Oh, that's pathetic. I mean it's crazy to me because
it's just like, oh that little fucking cunt who's an asshole
that spits and bites everyone who's also rich.
He's got loads of presents. Yeah, probably gonna get a
PlayStation. Poor little Kevin with no money.
Yeah, we'll get a pair of socks. Like, yeah, so sucks.
No, it sucks. Honestly, it does suck.
And I think that it shows so widely the disparity between
classes, between wealth and I don't know, I just, I don't
know. I think I think that that's why
it's so triggering for so many people.
It's either that or that they're grieving or going through a
breakup or something. And so Christmas is so much
worse on those times because you're like, fuck this.
Yeah, like I was saying before my fucking mic switched off, my
Christmas is so depressing now because I'm obviously grieving
my younger brother who Christmas is all about him.
Like he obviously he was severely autistic and he was 21
but had the mental age of a 5 year old so Christmas to him was
like. What's amazing would be like,
yeah, yeah, exactly. So having him not there now,
it's just like. So sad and and you really notice
it, don't you? Yeah, because it wasn't like he
was like quote UN quote normal 21 year old, you know, he was
like a kid. So that was like, so everything
to him like Christmas was. Yeah, but kind of all sat there
like having on Christmas dinner, it's all just like.
And it's like you all know why. It's kind of.
Just a bit awkward, yeah. Do you know what I mean?
And then like after, after dinner, like we're all kind of
sat there like. Maybe I'll come and join you.
Maybe I'll please do come, I'll dress.
Please do Occupy Lisa. I'll dress up as as Father
Christmas and be Daddy Christmas.
Great, and I'll become your step daddy.
No thank you, but you should come up to Newcastle.
Yeah, maybe I should. I think that, yeah.
And, and fuck me, like, because I remember the last time that we
did a Christmas episode, we were talking about like the different
family dynamics. Like if you've come out, yeah,
if you haven't or if you've got problematic family, I think I
want to talk about more like I'm just offering up my like, guys,
I'm sorry. Like if it's a really shit time
for you, I'm so sorry. You just need to keep in mind it
is one day and then it is over. Can I tell you one thing that
really bugs me on Christmas Day? And I actually think it's really
cruel for people to do this. OK.
When people post on social media, their pile of presents.
Nah, get fucked. How fucking tacky.
Literally. It really It really annoys me.
Yeah. Thank you.
Yeah. Yeah, I completely agree.
And it's not because I'm like, oh, I'm jealous because I hate
to say it. I don't want to sound like an
asshole, but like I have enough money to the point where like I
could buy loads of gifts and all this kind of stuff, right?
So it's not a jealousy thing. I'm like, no, no, that's really
it's bad taste. No bad taste.
It's attention seeking. It's attention seeking.
It's also. Just I don't care that you got a
black Michael Kors bag for Christmas.
No one can. Your Charlotte Tilbury flawless
filter. I couldn't give a no, sorry.
To top it off, people do this on their birthdays as well when
they post pictures of their piles.
Like, this is a classic Facebook post, I think.
Yeah. Presence.
Then in front there's a little like, mound of cash.
Have you ever seen Oh? My God, that must know.
That's crazy. I'll show you later.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little like you know when people
will have like a little lump of cash then you can like spread it
like how we do with the avocado. Honestly, like how we do the
avocado, I mean, if that wasn't a Tory fucking sentence I'll
never know. But like, it is, It is bizarre
to me. I understand that people want to
be like, I'm so happy, but it's like, for what other reason than
showing off would you ever want to do that?
It should show. Try and give me one one reason.
Yeah, it's for validation. Yeah, and if anyone who's
listening to this now, like, feels like shit about Christmas,
please can you DM us or send us an e-mail and I'll give you a
little call on Christmas Day and I'll be like, hey, bitch.
Yeah, that's another thing about the posting the picture.
Sorry, it really does ick me. But like, how does that most
make other people feel like shit though who aren't getting
anything? Of course.
It's so rude. If anyone does that who's
listening? Don't do it.
Yeah, don't do it this year, babe.
Think. Think again.
Think. Think hard before you take that
picture and spread that cash. I do spread.
Less spreading cash, more spreading legs.
This Christmas. That's all we need.
Ho ho ho ho ho, bitch. But I feel I feel like it is the
time when people. Yeah, that people do want to
show off. I mean, it's usually the people
that don't have a lot that like to show off, but maybe it's an
insecurity thing. Maybe it's like a competition
thing because their friends do it and then, oh, she didn't do
it. I don't know.
But either way, I just think think better of it.
And I feel like for Christmas is, yeah, is is when people
usually tend to argue. As well.
Family arguments on Christmas. The amount of time on Christmas
Day that I have quote UN quote ruined Christmas.
Oh, I'll never forget once when my dad really pissed me off.
Actually, I think I was having like a bit of a shit day.
I think also an exhausting day. Yeah, I think I was really
getting into my head about a few things, and I can't remember
exactly what it was, but he pissed me off and I and I pushed
the table like, really hard. But then Lauren had like, my
sister had red wine in front of her and it just knocked all
down. And I literally, like, fucking
stormed upstairs and she came upstairs.
Yeah, Yeah. Like she didn't care.
Like she was just a bit like, fuck sake, man.
Like, come on. Yeah.
If everything in your life is fine right now and you're having
Christmas too, great. Fantastic.
Good for you. Good.
For you, bitch. And also like I've had, I've had
many years of really, really nice Christmases.
I have. Same.
And that's that roll on the way. The cookie.
Why not even doing a friend's mess?
No. Oh no, no.
I'll get some people over next Friday.
Yeah, I'll get some people over. We'll just I'll make a roast
potato. Just one yes, because and
everyone just has to spend. Russians this dog eat dog world.
I mean, look, ho ho ho, Merry Christmas.
You'll tie joy gay, whatever. It's fine.
Maybe maybe in some ways you can find other ways of enjoying
Christmas And even if you're not like religious or something like
going to see carols or. Well, we're celebrating
Christmas on Saturday. Yeah, got the event.
From us Oh yeah, we've got our event the.
Christmas event, that's how. Lesbian pub Christmas event.
Yeah, that's my Christmas. Yeah, we've got mistletoe.
We've got Santa hats. Yeah.
And a special guest. Yeah, don't get into it.
Signed. But yeah, I do.
I think that that's what's really nice about us actually
doing the Christmas pub event, because I know how many people
are like, fuck this. Yeah.
And it gives us a way to celebrate it without the
pressure of it being like Christmas Day.
And it is just just have fun. There's probably a lot of people
who are coming to the event who are then going home and their
family don't know that they're gay.
Yeah, so their last chance to let it out before they've.
Final hurrah of closet. Yeah, Final hurrah of the year.
Yeah, the hurrah, Final hurrah. I wanna talk.
I just saw Wicked and I haven't even spoken about this.
Oh God, no, no. Can I just say can someone can
some people in the comments let me know?
Is anyone sick of hearing about? Wicked.
No, it is ridiculous. And that's why I want to just
really quickly say one. Obviously, yeah, it was really
good. Cynthia Arebo, Ariana Grande
killed it, smashed it, whatever. Ethan Slater, I don't know what
everyone is seeing in him now, but he's still a fucking ugly
cunt. And Oh my God, it's so funny
though. I went to go and see it with
Bree, and I know that we mentioned Bree before, the
absolutely stunning New Zealander who's our friend.
Me and her went together 'cause I know that she loves musicals.
I was like, Bree, let's go see Wick.
And she's like no one else, with no one.
Else no one else. Wanted to go with me and so she
booked the tickets, bless her. We sat there, she polished off
about 20 chicken wings. And by the way, Bri is pregnant,
but she would do that on a normal day anyway and I love her
for it. I had some Padron Peppers
because we didn't just go to any like cinema like it was electric
cinema. It's part of the Soho House and
it is like really fucking nice like it's a much nicer way of
experience in the cinema. And once you do that, you can
never enjoy normal cinema ever again.
Thank you very much electric. But at the end, I looked over at
her and she went wow. And she had her trousers undone,
Korean sauce down, her white blouse polished off, chicken
wings that literally like, fresh bone.
Like there's no meat on there, just just pure bone.
I sent you the photo of the chicken bones.
Yeah, and the way she lined it up, it just looked so sadistic.
And I. It was quite bizarre.
Image I will don't think will go out of my head.
It's quite bizarre how they were in just like a straight line.
Yeah. Anyway, I look over her, see all
of this, Yes. She goes wow.
And I'm like fucking now. And then she went, I didn't know
that was a musical. Yeah, but that is the most brief
thing ever. I looked at her because I
thought, obviously, fucking theatre fanatic.
Is she? She loves it.
Oh Christ. So I'm like, how did you not
know that Wicked was a fucking musical?
The fact that she sat through that whole thing she had no idea
was a musical. That, for me is hysterical.
You know what Bree is the definition of?
She's blonde. Oh fucking cover.
She's such a dumb blonde. Dumb bitch.
No, she's so. But she's the best.
Yeah, it's really good, everyone.
What I don't understand is they're trying to jump on the
Glinda's in the closet train with Ariana and Kristen
Chenoweth. They're trying to say, yeah, I
believe that Glinda's in the closet.
And it's like why you like. Look, I'm all for things being
as gay as possible right? I would make the queen gay if I
could. Like I mean she's dead but do
you know what I mean? Like I more gay the better.
However, don't try and make something gay that just isn't
gay to almost. Be like get because you know
that you're getting a headline with that.
Yeah, and the gays will love it. So there's no.
Way. There's no indication in that
film. Glenda.
Is not gay. Glinda's straight as fuck and
she's like obsessed with that guy and yeah.
I don't even know the guy. Can we move on from?
Wicked. Anyway, moving on from Wicked.
Well today we wanted to talk about lesbian sex, do's and
don'ts because we thought it's been a while since I've debased.
And not gone into the nitty gritty because this is.
How me and Scarlett started this podcast US was it being nitty
Gray. We wanted it to be unhinged.
We wanted it to be off limits. No on limits.
All the limits. All the limits.
And to be able to talk about the kind of stuff that we feel like
people aren't really talking about.
So today we are going to do that.
Well, what was the segment called?
Actually, our good friend Perry came up with a great name.
She did. She messaged Liv and she said
lesbian dildos. Dildos.
No, it's dildos and dildos. So the dildos and dildon.
And this is going to come in many different formats across
future episodes. So stay tuned for more dildos
and dildonts. But today's is sex.
So we obviously have asked some of our friends, Yes, some
advice. Did we do ours first?
I think we should do ours 1st and then play theirs because I
don't know what they're going to say and I don't want them to get
there before I do. No, agreed, because it looks
like we've just said. What they've said.
OK, I've wrote down a couple of mine, one of my dues.
Eye contact not intensely. All okay.
No, sorry, you just called my. God the whole time just staring
to. Yes, you don't want to feel like
that person isn't in the room. Because I feel like if you're
like being intimate with someone and you're not even like looking
at each other, that's like, I feel that's a real form of like
connection with someone. I also feel like, I mean, I feel
like if somebody doesn't give you eye contact, it's like a
massive like insecurity thing, isn't it too right?
And I and I want to feel like that person is confident.
I think the only time I've probably done no contact eye
contact to be like on like a one night stand when I was younger.
Maybe. Because I probably like really
not into this, so I'm just like not being present.
Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I don't really know.
I mean, I suppose there's like loads of reasons.
But yeah, I do agree. I think like eye contact needs
to be really like. Yeah, I mean, like I say, not
the whole time, just fuck, just stare each other out.
But like. Someone's doing doggy and then
they they make their head turn around.
Look at me. Look me in the eye.
Break their neck. OK, What's one of your dues?
One of my dues don't go. How do you start to do with a
Don't? Oh yeah, I'll do my don't then
this is going to be my don't. OK, Don't go fully in if that
person isn't ready. I feel like that's like an
obvious. Thing.
What do you mean by going in? Do you mean inserting in?
Like, I mean, well, yeah, like, take it quite literally.
Like don't literally go and shove like a million things up
their vagina. Oh no.
Like. Straight away.
As in in general. Some people do that though.
Don't just shove no, but some people do shove straight away
without any prior nothing you've.
Got to it's like warm. And then it's like, wow, that
would shoot me into space if someone did that to me.
It's just quite surprising. You're like.
Whoa. Well, yeah.
And it's just not. It's not good.
No. There's something to be said
with like a bit of like a quickie.
Fun, right? Yeah.
But not like you have to be really like turned on for that
to be good. Like already you got to be
really wet. Yeah, exactly.
You can't just fucking go balls to the walls and scrape your way
in there with your talons. You scrape scraping, scraping on
the front wall like a chalkboard.
Can you imagine? Yeah, OK, You give me one I'm.
Going to do another one of my dues grabbing.
Oh. Yeah.
Very into a grab. Oh, I love being grabbed.
Fucking go for it. Yeah, give it.
Don't be gentle with that. Just, oh, just go for it,
someone. 'S really getting hold of me.
Yeah, because it's like, I want you round.
He's like round. Yeah, no, I agree with that.
I agree with that. What's it do for me?
Brush your teeth. Brush your teeth.
Brush your teeth and. We were saying earlier before
and I was saying balance active. Balance active If no one has
heard of balance active, please can you link it or put it on the
story after? That I mean, I will just tell
you it's called balance active. There's no E at the end and it's
like A. Just insert the picture.
It was just like a, I don't have a picture.
It's just like a pet. It's like, it's like a pessary,
but it's kind of like basically like Lube.
I don't know. It just goes up there and it
just, it just regulates your pH. Balance you out.
But yeah. It's great to have after a
period. Very good, but it does regulate
your pH balance and if you're aware that you've got BV or
something, maybe like don't have sex that day.
Yeah. Because a lot of people just
carry on. OK.
One of my don'ts that I think this is just you're very
universal, but like don't not wash your purse because like
I've never done it. It's been really bad, but I've
like been like, you could probably freshen up a bit.
Yes, yeah, yeah. Do you know?
What I mean like sometimes when there's like that real like
vagina smell. Yeah, but it.
Depends, because I'm also a bit of a dog and kind of like that.
I don't know. Well, yeah, but not I think you
mean like the the sweat. The sweat.
Sweat. Sweaty purse.
Disco Minge. Well, they've been dancing.
All night in the club if you're going like after a night out.
Oh yeah, if you're if you've. If you've met a girl on a night
out and you guys have been dancing around, swanning around
the clubs. And you're not?
Using public toilets and then you're not washing yourself
before you have sex. For me that is like a.
Yeah, no, you have to shower 100% you.
Have 100 percent, 100%. It just makes a lot of sexier as
well though, because I feel like you're genuinely more confident
when you feel clean. Like I wouldn't be confident if
I didn't feel clean. I'd be like, get away from me,
don't touch me, don't look at me.
I'm embarrassed. I'm trying to think if I have
another do. Do multiple touch points?
Yes, at all times. Yeah.
Hand on the tear and on titty or like or like.
So I'm so scared that my mom will be listening to this.
Or like it's like hot to have someone's like nipple in your
mouth whilst you're like fingering them and then also
like touching their clip with your thumb.
Or like, I mean like there's like multiple things all in one
go that are just crashing on. Be doing the one thing.
No, we can multitask for women. We can.
What's 1 of yours?
Oh my don'ts, I said. My stank purse.
I feel like that is universal, yeah.
I think don't do anything niche without asking. 100%.
Because I think especially when you first start sleeping with
someone, if it's someone you're dating, you're very much
exploring what they like and what you like and how it works
together. You can't just be raw dog and
doing your weird shit that you like thinking that that person
is going to like it, you know? Yeah, and also, you know, when
they like, they like dress up and stuff.
Dress up how? Like lingerie, but like a corset
or something on like night one, it's like for me, I'm like, can
you calm down? Because that's doing nothing for
me. No, I I think I get icked out if
someone did that. If I went home with someone and
they whacked on some fucking what?
They even called. Oh, you know, and they've got
like the stockings. That's it.
Stocking stockings and what's the top suspenders?
Yeah, sorry. I.
Honestly, I'd clip a lead to you and walk you out the door like a
dog for me. It's just not for me.
Obviously if you've had previous conversations and that person's
been like, that shit is so hot. Cool.
But I feel like for someone where you've had no prior
conversation about it and it is literally the first time you're
sleeping with them, you don't have to do all of that as well.
Like I just think that like you don't have to do that do.
You know what I was thinking this the other day.
Isn't sleeping with someone for the first time so awkward?
Like awkward but not awkward. I mean, of course it is.
Because it's also like, you don't know that you don't know
what they like. You don't know what they like.
Yeah. You don't know.
You don't know anything.
No shit. You don't know nothing.
You don't know what they got. But moving on from this, we have
actually asked a few of our friends for their sex do's and
don'ts. Interrupting this episode to say
that this episode of the Lesbian Supper Cloud podcast is
sponsored by Better Help. I feel like this is really tying
into everything that we said about the Christmas time, the
holiday time. You know, my favorite part of
the holiday is just being able to spend time with family, being
able to. Reconnect and everyone kind of
get together. But how do you stay cozy within
those winter months? And for some, wrapping up in a
blanket with a mug of hot chocolate or watching a movie
with family is the best way to spend the month of December.
But therapy is a great way to bring yourself some comfort that
never goes away, even when the season changes or from what we
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I have benefited so much over these past few months from
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OK, so it's the lesbian do's and don'ts sex.
Do's and don'ts now are being sent in by our friends because
we want to hear what they have to say.
And I don't know if I have too much confidence in how good any
of them are in bed to be honest with you, but.
No, I'm intrigued. But you know what?
Start with Start with Leo. So I'll tell you, we've got Leo,
we've got Eva and Jess. OK.
Start with Leo. Don't.
Fake it, I hate. Oh fair.
Like when someone. 'S so loud.
It's like, OK, that's just not genuine.
I think I actually told you about my recent experience that
you guys probably won't know, but don't be, don't be too much
to the point. It's like, OK, she's faking it.
Or maybe I'm just so good that it's genuine and I don't.
This annoying. That OK?
Yeah, agreed. Yeah, can't be faking.
It no, I agree. I agree.
She's right. I think that it's like if you're
faking it as well, you are letting yourself in for a
terrible, terrible time. Love foreplay?
Love foreplay like. Dirty talk as well, like go.
On. I can't imagine Leo dirty
talking. Can you imagine?
Love it Carrie, you dirty cunt. Like that, you filthy little
fucking bitch. I've got a really good don't,
but it's like really awkward to say.
I don't know whether to say it again.
The awkward one don't. OK, so you know when you've just
gone down on someone obviously then come up and when you see
them like literally use the entire extension of their arm
and hand to wipe their mouth like the slobber all over their
face or something. I find that really awkward.
And I also so could even saying that so.
I mean I. This is run FaceTime because you
could see how much I'm squirming.
Wait. What?
So basically what she means is don't come up for air and do
I'm. Sorry, who's doing this and
giving it like it's like Tulisa the female boss?
I think she comes, but yeah, I mean, if you, if you want to
come, if you want to come up from that situation, just maybe
a bit of this like if you don't want to like that's kind of hot.
Like, I quite like that, but not, you know.
We don't need to be slobbering. We don't wait, we're not also,
so we don't need to be doing that.
Some people after they've gone down here, they'll just come up,
come up and make out with you. Yeah, but that's.
Cool, which I'm into. But maybe just not, just not, I
don't know. It's like what's happening for
you to be well, now you can't be involved.
Giving it the whole. Can you imagine getting the
duvet? I mean, like, sorry.
Fucking hell. Oh.
Or like getting their leg to wipe it off your face.
You just rub your leg on their thigh.
Yeah, no, that's not for me. I agree with that.
And you know what? I would have never have even
thought of that. And she's enlightened me.
She has. I feel like Jess is first and
then Eva's. OK, so preface this by saying
that Jess used to work for Love, Honey, so I feel like she she's
already got some yeah in her back pocket.
I'm also gonna out just for something after the dos and
don'ts, something quite niche that we can discuss that we
already know about. So I'm not really outing her.
Like both know you're on the same page and that sort of on.
Yeah, in the. Same sort of things that
obviously you have to tell your partner what you want.
Something I've learned in like my very short time of being a
lesbian is that everyone is so different and they're like wants
and likes are so different. And unless you sort of direct
people and tell them what you want, you're probably never
going to get that desired orgasm and what you do want.
So I think that's so important. That's something that a lot of
people might figure out. Big dude.
I feel like heteron couples. Heteron couples.
I can't take that seriously. A lot of.
People forget to use Lube like more Lube is more better.
Like bring back the Lube. Personally, I like it a bit
rough, but like obviously consent first.
But to me that's such a big do and I think you go to so many
encounters and people are just scared to be a bit rougher and
try new things. And in saying that, being with
girls has been the first time shockingly, that I've ever been
asked, is this okay? Is it alright I try this?
So for me it was consent as well because that was actually such a
turn on when I experienced it. Don't baby talk fucking foul.
Get that out of the fucking. Bedroom a baby talk.
Disgusting makes me feel unwell. Don't be offended by feedback or
when your partner is asking for direction.
There is nothing worse than getting a bit myth because
you're not. The greatest sex machine in the
world is at the scene. You know everyone's different.
Taking on board, taking on The Jets like a tramp.
Don't have a fake an orgasm. I have learned this the hard
way. And if you start faking them,
they think they're the greatest and then you can have shit sex
the rest of your life. So don't fake that orgasm.
You get what you want. And lastly, this is going to
come as no surprise I feel to both of you.
But don't be afraid of using sex toys, whether that's on
yourself. As a partner.
Whoever it is, they would enhance the experience and not
replace a person. So get those sex toys in the
bedroom, start using them, and that will absolutely change your
sex game forever. Spoken like a true PR girly.
Hang on, we still have one more from her also.
One more, this is probably the most important one for me is a
massive do and the massive do slash kind of don't is don't
focus on achieving an orgasm. Like focus on the pleasure,
having fun with your partner, exploring each other's bodies.
I feel like that's when I've had the best sex and the best
orgasms. It's like when you're not
focused on that end goal and you're just enjoying yourself
and enjoying a partner. So that is my biggest sort of do
out of everything. Why are you laughing?
I'm just laughing. I'm just because it's her.
Yeah, Yeah. I mean, no, I do agree, though.
I think like if you're, if you're focusing on achieving an
orgasm, like you're not, you're not gonna have the best time.
No, it's all about the journey, not the destination.
Thing is, but I get what Jess say, I just can't take her
seriously. I think, I think, yeah, I think
that's all pretty valid. I think the sex toy thing, it's
like, I don't think it's a necessity though, but I do think
that it can be fun. But I know that so many people
don't actually like using them so.
No, and you don't. Just because you use them once
doesn't mean you need to use them every time exactly because
then it sometimes takes away from like, you know?
The normal. The good old finger and.
Tongue, I think you kind of want it to be like that like fun
thing because you're like, oh, we got this out tonight, yeah,
you know, and it's like, like fun.
Whereas if you have it all the time, it's like.
Here we go again, Natalie. She's got the harness back on
for fuck's sake. She's got the sex swing out, off
we go. Off we fucking swing would.
You ever use a sex swing? Yeah, Would you?
I feel like it's kind of fun though.
It's swinging. I've never really.
Thought about it. So I answered you really
quickly, but. I want to Google but I would
swing. But I would, but I, I just feel
like that's a lot of admin involved.
Like where are you putting it from?
I'm looking around in my room. I'm looking around in this room
right now and I'm thinking, wow, where would I put this?
Put it in the garden rather than neighbours.
To watch have a garden. You know what I mean?
Hang on, sex. Like a hammock.
Like a sex hammock. Oh wow.
Let me see. Wow.
Oh, my God, the stirrups. The stirrups for me, Aaron.
OK. I don't think I'd like it
anymore. I don't think I want it with the
stirrups, just maybe. Just a fancy one.
OK, like a fancy cushioned one or like this one where she's
just kind of like that. That's that's fun.
If she's just kind of like swinging up a little bit, that's
fun. I'll get fucking banned.
You can't put that in there. OK.
Yeah. So, yeah.
OK, that was. OK, right.
Final one is going to be from yours truly, Eva Adamson from
Ancaster. Girl, is that her last name?
Adamson I had no idea. OK, Eva has sent a grand total
of 12345. Wouldn't be able to understand
any of those. Seven voice notes.
I will put them in one time Speed because she's Irish.
OK, I'm just going to yap and then you can like select
whatever you want. You know what I mean?
I'm terrified, OK? What am I doing should be don't
stand up right after you've like done receiving and because you
might pass away, right? And this is what right.
OK, this is stand. Up she's I mean after receiving.
Stand up straight away because you might just talk.
About who's just having an orgasm and getting up straight
away I. Don't know man, but obviously I
mean this is spoken as if she's been there.
Well, it's happened to her. Do for me, right?
You need the sauce if they like nipple stuff before you go near
the nipple. Oh, because, well, just in some
circumstances it can do nothing and then you're like a spare
day, you know what I mean? Like looking like another
nipple, but then they might fucking like rely on that.
So I would figure that out first.
Are they nipple person or not? Then.
You know what such a good point. That is a good point because you
could but then I feel like, don't you kind of know straight
away if they're not into nipple stuff?
Some people might not say that. No, but I mean.
They might just be letting you suck on them.
Just be like. Oh my God, imagine you sucking
away and they just feel nothing. Because like, for me, my my
nipples are very sensitive. So I might go for it.
Yeah. Go to town.
Yeah. But I forget some people just
there's no sensitivity going on That Interesting.
Wow. Absolutely do not finish after
they have climax once. You've got to keep going until
they physically are like right OK I actually can't go anymore
because it's probably well in personal experience anyways.
My later ones are always better than my first one.
I. Didn't I?
Didn't send the rest of that. Absolutely do not ask them to
repeat themselves or like anything like that.
If you don't hear what they're saying, you're.
I'm not being funny, but only that could happen with Eva.
Because if I was. Having sex with Eva?
PSA you mumble. We've said this too many.
Times I would be asking you like what?
Because you could be saying something that's like, Oh my
God, don't do that. And I haven't and I haven't
understood you. So yeah, I will ask you again
for clarity. I don't think you're gonna have
sex with Eva. I mean no, but you know what I
mean. Like don't.
Don't be like, sorry, what was that?
Because like just just smile and and say, yeah, absolutely do the
longest, most dramatic amount of time for for play.
And but OK, now this is something you need to suicide
to. Some people actually can't be
fucked for going for a long time.
So suicide, whether they want to go for like 20 minutes or two
hours. Two hours what?
I'll do would be to make sure user on the same wavelength
about the strap and any toys who likes what etcetera.
Some people don't like wearing a strap, some people don't like
taking a strap. That's what I would suggest.
Thank you, I'm going to reply to her whilst we're here.
I think that's that's. Really we would just like to say
those were absolutely fan fantastic suggestions, very
concise, especially the nipple one that really threw me me and
frame for what a valid point I think.
It's also very valid about the sex toy thing as well.
Yeah. So thank you.
Yours. Do you know what yours were the
best? Yeah.
Thank you, Eva. Well.
Done, Eva. That was fun.
Yeah, I do. I do think that that makes a lot
of sense because. What for Eva's?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You definitely want to know if
you're on the same wavelength in times of like in terms of time,
having sex and also like because, because some people are
just like, yeah, I could fuck all night.
And some people are like, I don't just don't enjoy that.
Yeah, it's just not for everyone.
Agree. That is that.
And you just push Eva's, Eva's advice and just push them to
that absolute limit. Yeah, Eva's like.
Eva is like get them so. Far gone.
If they say something, don't she's like if they say
something, don't ask again. They could be saying stop and
Evas. It's like yeah yeah, just cute.
Yeah, woohoo. Our advice was to smile and nod,
not. As they're literally crying,
like please stop, Eva whips out the strap.
No, I do think that that's really valid.
That is really valid. Yeah.
Well called girls. What?
Some fucking. That is amazing.
I feel enlightened. I feel enlightened.
I feel like I. You feel like I really know I'm
going to do now I. Really know I'm what I'm doing
now actually. And last but not least, I really
wanted to do the hear me out because like, people have been
doing the hear me out. Late to the trend We are late to
the. Trend, but I feel like I'm
always late to the trend because I'm a fucking millennial.
Do you write any of yours down? It's not my fault.
Yeah, no, I know. I've remembered some of mine.
So hear me out now, for those who don't know, hear me out is
basically like someone who you shouldn't really want to sleep
with, but you do. So it's like, hear me out on
this one. So and so, right?
And we've got a list of some of ours and I'll let you go first.
She's going to get annoyed that I'm going to say this because on
my last one I was like, I'd kill her.
OK, but hear me out, Leo. I mean, after what we just heard
on that as well. I've said it before and I'll say
it again, Dark Horse. You actually said to me
yesterday you secretly always hoped me and Leo would get
together. Which on the flip side is weird
because of a few months ago you wished me and Polly would get
together. Yeah, well, I just think it'd
be. I just thought at the time, like
it would be quite cute. But never mind.
It's fine. Yeah.
Dark horse. I can see that.
I think she'd surprise you. I reckon she's very good in bed.
Even though I can't, it's one of those Leo.
I can't picture her having sex. No, but I know that she'd be
good. So I'm.
So I'm hope you want to hear me out, OK?
OK, hear me out. Your mum.
Why? Why?
What do you mean why your mum is sexy?
Your mum, Your mum is really, really sexy and she's beautiful.
I. Hate this.
I hate this narrative because Olivia says it all the time as
well and it's so annoying. She is.
I'm sorry. Hear me out.
Your mum, I know you're not going to agree with me, but I
know loads of other people. Will imagine like yeah, I got
it. Yeah, I got it.
Yeah, I'd fuck her too. She said shagger too, yeah.
She just got that thing, you know, she eludes sexuality.
Stephler's mum kind of vibes, isn't?
It it is Stiffler's mum vibes. Yeah, MILF.
Next, this is the pet. I've got 2 buns that are quite
personal to my life. HR Amy.
I'll insert my picture of HR Amy.
HR Amy is my old. Yeah, I know you don't stop
going on about her if she's messaging you.
Of course I know that you'd shagger.
Yeah, she's great, though. The thing is, though, she's not
like conventionally my type, Yeah, like at all.
But she just. Alludes something OK, but also
hear me out OK, and I'm not saying that she I think that
she's beautiful as well. I'm not I'm not making this
about her. A four in real life is A7 in
office life. 100% I'm not saying if I walk past her in this shit
I'd be like I'd fuck you because I probably wouldn't.
Yeah. Why is it that the IT that the
level? Of the level.
Goes down I. Think it's something because,
you know, like she's like supposed to.
Bossy and it's like work. Yeah, and I don't have a really
serious. Conversation.
There's just nothing sexy about work.
There was something sexy about her.
I don't know what it is, because she's also like a fucking twat.
Like I love her. Like, as in like a silly twat.
Like she's stupid. Yeah.
Also, I just think she'd be really dirty.
Nice. Yeah, that's fine.
Hear me out, Marge Simpson. Oh fuck off.
Yeah. You have the most vanilla sex of
your life. No.
What would Marge fucking? Healthy blue treat Marge is
always walking around with her little titties out little
balcony bra. Yeah, but Marge would be going.
No Marge would be going down you and the whole thing or her hair
would be like stop. Be here about.
The hair would be in your face like that.
I'd just be like moving it out. Of the way.
No, that's. No, there's something kind of
sexy. There's something sexy about
Mars. Do you?
Reckon Marge has blue pubes? I mean, do the curtains match
the drapes? I think so.
You know, and if they don't, I hope she dies.
Impressing question for me. If anyone is a Simpsons fanatic,
please let us know your thoughts.
Yeah, there's something to see about Marge.
I'm sorry. OK, always thought so.
Hear me out. My ex's sister as in.
Wait, which ex live divines OK, your ex's sister or that's T?
I always found her a bit hot. She's just like.
Oh, she is hot. She looks like Sarah Hyland.
Yeah, but like. Yeah.
Yeah, she likes like Sarah. Hyland from A Modern Family yeah
yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Hot right yeah and like yeah I mean, fair
I. Remember when I met up?
Just make your way through the family.
With my ex's ex and we were both like her sister.
Yeah, fuck the sister. Yeah, fair.
Hear me out, Jeffrey Star. No.
I don't know, I. What do you mean?
I don't know what it is. He's almost like so feminine
that he's got this thing about him that would.
I don't, I mean, I'm confused myself.
I've. Got.
I think I'd be scared. Right now, I mean, yeah, he's
pretty. Fucking scary.
He's terrifying. I mean, I'd love, I'd love to be
friends with Jeffrey Star, but I think being in the bedrooms, I
think I'd trick myself. I think maybe it's the fact if
he but this sounds really weird because I never would say this
in any other sentence. If he was like attracted to me,
that would almost turn me on because I'd be like, cool.
OK, yeah, I got that. Do you know what I mean?
But then I think you would get to an.
Anomaly. Sex part I'd be like.
I mean, like there's there's no, there's no rules in hear me out.
No, there's no judging. We listen and we don't judge.
OK, what was my other one? Velma on Scooby-doo.
Come on, everyone wants to fuck Velma from scooby-doo.
Daphne Val no Velma's The Nerdy 1.
Yeah, but specifically when she has the sexy face.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's hot.
Yeah, OK, fine. Yeah, it would have been more
niche for you to have, said Scooby-doo dressed up as a woman
to go on the plane, but. I didn't find that tractor.
You probably would. I might.
Yeah. Hear me out, Trisha Paytas.
OK, OK, I see it. Do I agree that no.
Me and Trisha would have a crazy night together, one I know I
would never forget. Trisha.
I have watched her porn. Yeah, and I'm.
I mean, so have I survived. So have.
I, I didn't enjoy it. I mean I I don't know why.
No, you didn't not enjoy it, you mean?
Yeah, you said you didn't enjoy. It Oh right yeah I don't know
why I didn't not enjoy it no, I don't I.
Didn't not enjoy it. You enjoyed it?
I enjoyed it. OK.
But yeah, Trisha Paytas and and I just.
I don't know, I feel like because she'd but she's such a
freak and she loves sex so much that for me I'd be like fuck.
Yeah, and it's. Trish Trisha's a legend.
I mean, it'd be quite funny to say that you fuck Trisha Paytas,
but I thought actually bring my Domino's into the bedroom.
Do it with the bed. I'm no fucking idiot.
You check yourself. You like those intolerant.
Yeah, I'd ask her for a vegan one.
OK, my other one, Christine Quinn from Selling Sunset, who's
no longer on. 100% no because I've said this people before and
they're like Oh no way I'd fuck her.
She to be fair, she can't let me get a picture of her.
I don't feel like she's that niche.
I then come on babe, you're giving me people that are just
no, because people are like. I think she looks like Jeffrey
Star, so maybe that's why you're quite into it.
I mean, she's not my usual type, but I can see why.
Exactly. She's not like, she's quite
scary looking. She doesn't like Jeffrey.
Yeah. Thank you.
Hear me out, Kris Jenner. 100% for the power.
Yeah. I just say you shagged Kris
Jenner. Yeah.
Chris Jenner, Chris Jenner, Me and Chris after a few shots of
tequila in the bed. Chris loves the boots as well,
so you'd have a great time. Let me think of someone else.
The nanny from The Parent Trap. Who the fucks the nanny from the
Parent Trap? The one that you know in the
horse, in the ranch, She's a main character.
Oh, right. You don't class her as a nanny.
She's like, yeah, I know. She's like the nanny, yeah.
Fit, yeah, I would fuck her. Would fuck.
Yeah yeah yeah, 100% she eludes sex and lesbian and yeah yeah.
Yeah, 100%. Oh, have you ever seen the movie
Cars? No, I'm going weird now because
I'm going to go into cartoons. OK, OK, so if anyone's watched
Cars, you'll know what I mean when I say Sally from Cars.
Show me Sally from fucking. They're all cars, but you know
what I mean? Yeah, I mean, I get.
It Sally from Cars. Yeah, she's quite cute.
Yeah, she goes out with the main guy like.
She looks a little bit too young for me.
She's probably, I think she's mine.
She's probably 2. She's a car.
OK I have I have another really weird 1 like this.
I think this is like. This borderline.
Yeah, no. Do you know what's so weird?
Because. It's don't What is it?
The toast from my little toaster.
What's my little toaster? No, what's making me weird is
because they're cartoons. I see them as like little
people. Now I see, now I feel weird.
Let me see. OK, so have you ever watched
Blues Clues? No.
What? No, because I'm not 12.
Blues Clues. I feel show me side table draw.
Side table draw from Blues glues.
Fuck you need therapy. You need severe.
Severe what? What can you Can you sell it to
notice? That's really like cute and that
would really look after. You.
It looks like you. Mr. Salt on top of side table,
draw there. How you fucking side of table
draw fingering there drop. In the draw, open the draw.
Do you know this is something really endearing about a side?
Table draw, okay, I think side side table draws looking a
little bit too innocent for me, I think.
I fear you know, yeah. That was my niche, ones I had
held. Back I love.
That. Yeah, I feel really ashamed of
myself now. More.
I feel like I need more. I don't have any more.
I don't have any more I feel. Like everything was just like on
Sky. Like Nickelodeon.
Like I didn't have Nickelodeon. You never watched SpongeBob?
Yeah, I watched SpongeBob. I fucked the squirrel from
SpongeBob, Sally. No, Sandy.
Sandy the Squirrel. No, she was a prick and she was
called Sandy Cheeks. Sandy Cheeks is 100% a lesbian,
as is Pearl. Oh, big old Pearl.
Big old Pearl. She is 100% gay.
I'd probably shag Squidward. So I reckon squid was probably
got a vagina. It's.
Just miserable, just like me. I the more I get older, the more
I relate to Squidward. Yeah, I totally get it.
OK, I thought this is getting weird now.
OK, anyway on that feel a bit, I think I think we're done on this
episode. I think I need to go to the pub,
I need to have a drink. We're going.
To the pub because our favorite person in the world who works in
our local pub, It's her last day today and we're feeling very
emotional. I'm not.
Happy there was an event, I'm happy, but I'm going so I can
have a drink. We.
Have to go to show support. Yeah, very sad.
Yeah, bitch. Off we go now if we fucking go,
all right? Anyway, lesbians, we love you
and we will speak to you next. Week Hi guys no one judge me for
psych double draw please. I will bye.
Bye.