Hi everyone, and welcome to episode 6 of the Lesbian Supper
Club podcast. I feel like we're going to have
to stop saying the numbers soon because.
I know, but do you know what's really weird actually that you
would say that is that I was randomly looking at other
podcasts earlier and a lot of people number their podcasts.
Yes. And we don't number the titles,
that's why I feel like I have to number the intro.
I feel like we give everyone quite a warm welcome on ours.
I feel like whenever I listen to a podcast I don't even hear
welcome. Yeah, it's because we don't have
any sponsors yet for attacks. That's why I'm the sponsor.
We're having myself personable. Please love me.
Give me some cash please. I'm on my knees.
Welcome back everyone, we hope that you loved episode 5 as much
as we did because honestly, Lewis had me absolutely creased.
I was kissing myself like. That that episode when we had to
go through and send the edit notes over to Marcelo, like we
were actually crying like at some points because there's just
something about him that is so fucking funny as well.
And I also think it's got to a point now.
Oh God, the dogs just stole the limp roller.
He's like, don't you dare raise any memory of me.
Go, sit, go, go, sit down, please.
Because we're not having it. We're not right.
Up and lie down. Lie down.
Good boy. The Invisalign is up.
What did I say? I actually can't remember.
No, we were talking. Yeah, we're talking about Lewis.
Lewis. And it's got to a point now
where, you know, we. Say it again.
Oh, sorry, it's got to a point now where we edit, you know, we,
we help edit these, these podcasts and I get so bored of
the sound of my own voice and yours actually.
And it's nice to have someone else just just voice coming in,
you know? Yeah, and and also we we kind of
had to keep in a lot of the mistakes that we made just
purely because he made them so much funnier.
Just the way that he talks is just like and just interprets
things as hilarious. So thanks again, Lois, because
we love you and we loved having you on and we can't wait for you
guys to see kind of what guests we've got lined up as well and
in store for the Lesbian Supper Club.
So it's only up from here, baby. A couple of days ago we put out
a story on your Instagram to say that you guys should send in
some topics that you really want us to talk about and a massive
one that kept coming through was our coming out stories.
So we've listened and we're going to do today on episode 6,
our coming out stories. We've got a van of therapists
parked outside, particularly for Freya because Lord knows that
she's going to need it when? She's going to say I'm going to
have to relive this, which is yeah.
And yeah, so today we're going to be mainly focused on a coming
out story. We're going to start off talking
about the L Word again, because what else do lesbians talk
about? And we're going to finish off
with, I know we say this every time.
But this is this is a pretty viral.
One, this is the worst Horror Story if you think piss in the
mouth was bad. Just you wait, baby.
This is this is actually took the medal and I didn't think
we'd. Be able to medal that no one
actually wants. No, I don't know.
Some people might. Want some people might want it
OK well I think we should start handing out medals of like the
most fucking disgusting lesbian supper club Horror Story the.
2nd. Idea one we should give.
Lesbian medals If your story makes the Lesbian Supper club
podcast, you get the lesbian. It's a bit like a Blue Peter
badge, but just more disgraceful.
Yes, yeah, that's such a good idea.
And I think it's like going back on the L Word thing because
there's been more development. So we listened and we love, by
the way, the pants pod. So shout out to the Pants
podcast by Alicia Haley. And Kate Menig is her last name,
I think so Shane and Alice from The L Word.
And this podcast is amazing. And the way that they speak
about things is, is just really. The way they don't speak over
each other, that's. Beautiful.
Yeah, I walked home and went. Babe, they don't talk over each
other and it's not my cars. No two people are the same.
No2 pussies are the same and no two people are the same.
If I all right, and if you want someone that's not going to talk
over to you, hinge, you've mentioned a few times how much
it's progressed since you were on there.
Off you fucking are. Looking a lot better these days?
No, honestly. Everyone thinks we're in a
polyamorous relationship, so they probably.
They do on there anyway, yeah. That's for another episode.
We Oh.
Shut up. We're actually in one with
Marcelo. No, I think listening to that
podcast made me think, shit, I didn't realise the kind of back
story behind what happened with L Word Generation Q, So I didn't
know that. So Kate and Lisa, Shane and
Alice were behind the development of bringing back the
L word with Jennifer Beals and Eileen Shaken.
So they were trying to release another L word.
They obviously could see that there was a massive gap in the
market for it and it needed to be done.
And like so they also loved their characters, which I
really, really love. And they wanted to bring that
back. And then I think it got taken
over and and turned into a way that they really didn't want or
like, which I could see just by watching it wasn't it was
nowhere near on the same level. I don't think Alison, Shane,
Kate and Lisa were not happy with how the L word developed
because it didn't develop in the way that they thought it should
have done for a start, which I agree with.
I don't think that the characters developed quite in
the way that we would have all. I also think the whole way that
it was filmed was not reflective of the L Word at all.
So understandably, there were things that needed to evolve
from the first kind of, you know, L word, which we all agree
on. But what I loved about the
filming of the original L Word is that you did feel like you
were there, like it felt very raw.
Whereas L Word generation Q, despite the characters, despite
the storylines, despite anything else, the way that it was
actually filmed felt very fake and toy like.
Yes, do you know what I mean? It had no like authenticity to
it. It felt very like almost like a
cartoony. I really hated the vibrant
colours. No queer lot are that fucking
happy. No, we're not.
Do you know what I mean? The.
LGBTQ flag should be pastel. What?
Because we're not be like a pirate flag?
Really. Yeah, because we're not that
fucking shiny, do you know what I mean?
No, we're not shiny and we're not happy.
All right. Generally genuinely laughed for
once in my whole life. No, no, no.
Don't laugh. I did.
I laughed at Jessie Carson. Yeah, you did.
I think that's the only time I've ever.
Yeah, actually, I want to say really quickly, if you guys
haven't heard of Jessica Carson by now, you need to check her
out. She is the funniest comedian.
I don't even say that loudly. She's a legend, the funniest
comedian I've ever seen in my life.
And when we went to go and see her live, I was in pain, but I
was also in awe, like watching her.
I was so just like, what's even the one inspired?
Like I watched her and she did AQ and A at the end where she
was really like she had a lot of like humidity about her.
Like not only is she hilarious and, and talks about things that
maybe like other people don't want to talk about, like her
grandparents having sex and reenacting the whole thing,
which I thoroughly enjoyed. Scarlett then and me were like,
OK, well, we want to go say hi to her afterwards because we
we've kind of shared a few comments online to one another
before and like we follow each other.
We follow each other. And I was like, I love her.
And now I'm a bit starstruck because she was so funny.
I don't know what to do with myself.
So we were then in the quietest room after everyone had kind of
said thank you and got in a photo with her.
And Scarlett said to me she was like, my asshole is wet, I've
been laughing so much, I said. This whilst we were laughing
like so whilst the show was taking place I looked up for I
was like I'm laughing so much I'm sweating from everywhere
including my asshole. Yes, OK, right.
But I. Don't ever give the correct
context. You're fucking weird.
Nobody needed to know that anyway, so I then was like, this
would be a really funny thing to say.
I'm just going to go up to her and I'm going to break it to her
anyway because the room was so quiet.
I go up to Jessie. I'm like, hey, yeah, that was
amazing. That was amazing.
Her assholes wet. And then, oh, she said, and then
and then I just looked at her and then she looked at me.
Jessie, to this day, I don't know if you actually heard what
I said or if you did hear what I said and you were mortified or
you didn't understand what I said and just kind of wanted to
move past it. But I just looked at looked at
her with the most mortified look on my face.
And I was just and Charlotte was like, and I could I I can feel
Scarlett's energy when Scarlett is like, you're a fucking.
Idiot, I don't think it takes any energy feeling to think that
when you've gone up to someone you don't know and looked at
them after saying hello, pointed at me and gone her assholes wet.
You're not fucking spiritual for thinking I might have been
pissed off for that, you fucking idiot.
I literally in that moment was like I the last five years have
been a terrible mistake. I wish I was getting in the car
on my own. I literally, I, as soon as we
walked away, you know, and you're like, you think about
that moment and every day I've been thinking about that wet
asshole moment. It's been months.
Sleepless sites. Yeah, I'm sorry, Jesse.
I do. Really.
Love. I do think it was a bit of gay
panic. I panicked massively.
The gay panic came over me. I was hot.
Just quickly back to the L word. Then I so they had basically
they were the ones that come together, put it all together.
It'd been, they said 10 years in the making, yeah, of really
getting the show back off the ground.
And then they had and they were one and also one of the last
people to be told that it was actually going to end, which I
think is. Disgraceful.
That's one. Disgusting that you just
shouldn't do that. Right.
I also mentioned that they there's a lot, there were a lot
of new people involved that didn't actually give a fuck
about the project. That was very clear.
Which makes me think that back in the early 2000s, right, No
one else would have touched this unless they were quit because
they wouldn't have wanted to have jeopardised their career,
you know, Whereas now people will jump on things if it is
quit because they think it elevates them in a lot of ways.
So there probably was a lot of CIS heterosexual people on that
set who had no fucking idea the lives in which they were trying
to portray, and that was obvious.
The L word has like helped me develop yeah like and and accept
my sexuality. L word generation Q would have
made me go back in the fucking. Closet but it just gave me
nothing either it. Wasn't good, It wasn't.
Good. And there was, there's still a
lot I have to learn about this community.
You know, even speaking with Lewis a few days ago made it
really prevalent that there's still a lot of things that I
just haven't, you know, understood about the community
or or don't know enough about because I stay in my kind of
lesbian lane, so to speak. And for the diversity that the
ELWA Generation Q brought, it didn't, I mean, it did show me
things about different characters that maybe you don't
see as much on TV. I don't think it really dug deep
into a lot beyond the surface of just tick boxing.
That's. How I think it was just surface
level and yeah, I mean, it just wasn't for me.
I think like with the original Our Word, I loved the fact that
Dana did that line, which is like, I don't want to be seen
with you like a dyke, like for me.
Because those conversations do do.
Happen and it's funny and it's just stupid and it's in like
little pass away things like that.
But actually the deepest storylines within the original
our word really dug into the lives of lesbian women and what
that looks like and what the what toxicity looks like as
well. The positives and the negatives,
just everything about it. It didn't seem like they took
that blueprint. It just seemed like they took a
few of the older characters and kept the name and then that was
it. And also why didn't they use the
original theme tune? Because the hat theme tune, but
no. It would not leave my head then
for another decade. They need yeah, every lesbian
can recite that off my heart. Just to end the L word
generation QL word chat here, I'm sure we'll revisit it many
times going forward is I really want all of the so Jennifer,
Leisha, Kate. Bring Kit back.
I don't care if you killed her off in Generation Q, just bring
her back. And Eileen to come together and
launch their own L Word again, forget L Word generation queue
even happened. Yeah, L Word coming back,
bringing new characters. Obviously update it in all the
ways that needs to be updated, but keep the basis of why the L
Word was so successful. Very there.
I don't work with Cox, which I know is really hard in that
industry, but try not to. I will come there and put a
fucking producer's hat on. Do I know a thing about
production? No.
Would I give that a good guy? Yes.
And yes to lesbians as well. And do it again.
And because we still don't know who fucking killed Jenny.
Yeah, they didn't even fucking do.
They didn't even give us that in Generation Q.
Just pretend as if she never existed.
And she did exist. Yes, we all may have hated her,
but she very much existed. Yeah, very true.
Well, I'll take you on that one, darling.
I think your blood pressure has gone.
High. I've wound myself right up and
now I've got to talk about coming out stories.
But yeah, let's go into coming out because.
That's gonna wind me up even more.
I know that so many people have asked about this.
I think that everyone's coming out stories is actually really
important because I think that it I think expressing that and
telling people about it is somewhat comforting, even if
you've had a bad experience. So because mine was not a good
experience at all. I was in the closet for 21 1/2
years of my life. I had already had a girlfriend
and was going out with her for two years before I came out and
we were in a long distance relationship, which is another
thing that I kind of want to talk about on another episode
because I know quite a few of you have talked about, you know,
how do you handle that? And I know that lesbians fucking
love to travel. So so I think that that's quite
like an interesting story. But that aside, my coming out,
the one thing that I'm going to mention and you'll understand
why is never let somebody force you to come out and never let
somebody come out for you. I think when I when I was in
this relationship and it was a very serious relationship with a
woman, I really, I felt petrified to come out to my
parents because I even though I actually have an older gay
sister, Megan, my mom was not okay with Megan's sexuality when
she came out at all. So knowing that bit of
information kind of made me very reluctant can.
I jump in there though and say that your mum did come to accept
her again and absolutely love her and love Whitney as well.
Megane wife. Yeah.
And all was good. All the storm had come.
This is something that is important.
I know that you very much remembered the difficulty that
Megan had, yeah. But by this point, everything
was absolutely. Yeah, and she loves, you know,
my sister's wife and she's welcomed her into the home and
has been fantastic. But you know, when you just
know, you know, it's not going to go down.
Well, she was always asking about boys.
She always seemed a little bit shady whenever I was like,
speaking about anything queer related.
So even when I said, oh, I, I mean, I remember I was 16.
I went to go see Jessie J for like a fiver and then I came
back and I was like, oh, I could marry her.
She literally looked at me and was like what the fuck?
So I knew, I knew in my in my gut that it was going to be bad.
But I had spoken to a few people about this because my sisters
knew that I was in this relationship.
I tried to keep it very, very quiet because I also just
because of this, I wasn't comfortable in my sexuality at
all. I was like, I'm only in love
with this one girl. There's no way I could be gay.
And I pushed it down so much because I was petrified as to
kind of like what that would look like for me in my life and
what that would look like for me in terms of my family.
And I remember, actually, I don't know if you guys will be
able to relate to this, but before I came out, I remember
every time that I would see my mom and she didn't know about,
you know, my sexuality. I was thinking, I'm going to
cherish this moment right now because she's being really
loving and she doesn't know about my sexuality.
And it made me feel so inherently guilty all the time.
So anyway, Long story short, I ended up travelling to Brazil
for a few months and I had an amazing time.
I came back. Let me tell you why it was
amazing. Brazil's fucking sick.
Secondly, because I was able to be gay and openly gay over
there, which I just didn't categorically didn't do in the
UK, just in any fear of getting caught out.
So then I came home and I was depressed because obviously I
was away from Brazil and I was away from the girl that I was
going out with. And my mom actually saw me
crying because, you know, obviously I was in a terrible
way. And she was like, why are you
crying? Is it because you miss Brazil?
I was like, yeah, yeah. I just really miss it, really
miss it. She's like, is it because you
miss Natalia? Sure, she won't care.
Is it because you miss Natalia? And I was like, yes.
And then she said, are you in love with her?
So she coerced me to come out. So by this point I thought, well
I can't actually now lie and. Everybody asking that question
in that way, it's quite like a nice way to ask it is, do you
know what I mean? It's quite like open.
And also, my sisters have said go on.
I think mom will be all right with it.
Just go for it. Just you've got to do it.
You can't keep lying to her. And I knew kind of in my head I
was like, oh, well, Dad was fine when Megan came out, so I'm not
really too worried about that. But I was like on my own with
her in her room. And I said yes.
And I started crying my eyes out and she was like, you're
disgusting. Sorry, I'm laughing, I mean.
Because I find you disgusting for many rays, but not that one.
Thank you very much, babe. I was in you're a cunt.
I was in a really, really bad way.
And I was like, what? I kind of, I knew that she was
gonna react badly, but actually the reality of them then acting
badly is like, you're joking me, right.
And she was like, you're sick, you're sick.
And I was like, okay. And I and I said as well though
she's like, are you gay then? And I was like, no, I've, I
mean, this is, this is stupid on my behalf, but I had to try and
claw back anything that I could. I was like, no, I'm straight,
but I'm just like in love with this one person.
I'm in love with her. And my mom was like, I can't
believe you. You know what?
My mum is like Jesus Christ. And she just really.
How they make it out as if it's a choice, like you've told them
that you've just gone and robbed a bank.
I think as. Well, she's like, I don't
believe you made they always make it kind of like sexual,
which I don't really understand why they always.
Make it about sex. Because you could me, I'm like,
just can you not mention that at all?
Do you know? Like it just makes me feel
inherently uncomfortable. I'm already.
Fucking actually care who your child is having sex.
No why? That's what I would like.
It is a weird when you think about it, because that's what
they always come down to as well.
And it's that's like such a small part of being of any kind
of sexual orientation. I mean, I was so she was like,
tell your father. So obviously I went downstairs
and I was like, no. And I and I told him I said I'm
in Natalia. And he was like well why fuck
me, my daddy's bad as well. Yeah, because you really thought
your dad was gonna give you a bit of support.
But I think it is also because my daddy's brain doesn't tick on
all the same levels that he then in his head was thinking.
If you like men as well, why don't you just choose the easy
option and just stay with a man? And that's exactly what he said.
Why don't you just make it easy for yourself?
And I was like, OK, it's not like that.
And then my dad just whatever. Earlier on in the day, I bought
myself some, like, some vodka, some ice and some limes because
I was going to make them kind of Oscars because, like, they
really wanted to try them. So I said, well, fuck you.
I got the vodka and the ice and the limes.
I was, like, crying, driving away over to my sister's house.
I just, like, knocked on the door.
And as soon as she saw me crying and she's like, OK, yeah, I get
it. I was in such a bad way because
it was every everything that I had thought and more, you know?
And I ended up having a few drinks with Megan.
And then I think Lauren, my other sister, spoke.
To her on the phone just about to just come in there because
you know, you've, we've spoken about this at great lengths.
And I think the one amazing thing about this is that your
sister's really rallied for you. I mean, Megan you would expect
because she'd been through it. But but also but Megan was
getting the wrath as well because it was also like you're
the gay sister. This has happened because of you
or the but Lauren. Also, you know, being the
straight one, yeah, she she also really defended you both and
stuck up to your mum. And I think at that point as
well, Lauren was always the voice of reason.
Yeah. So for Lauren to come forward
and say it and call out that injustice was a massive, I mean,
I turning point. I think if I could have done it
differently, I wouldn't have been alone because it would have
been much better to have had a room full of my sisters there or
like a good friend or whatever I think.
But I got fucking bamboos or didn't I?
So I don't really have much of A choice.
I then. One of those things as well
though where there is never a right time.
No, there isn't a right there's. A right time for you.
There's never a right time for anyone else.
Hey, look. I'm glad I did it right because
look at me now. I'm very happy.
But it but it's more so, you know, I, I went back to the
house and I, you know, I said, look, I could be pregnant.
I could be addicted to heroin. She was like, that would be
easier to deal with. Jesus Christ.
And then she's and I said, would you rather I just didn't tell
you then and just lie to you the rest of my life?
Yeah. Wow.
And then she said, you just go swanning off into the sunset
with your girlfriend. And I was like, wow.
That sounds like a bit of jealousy.
That's lovely, doesn't it? Sounds like a bit of jealousy.
As far as I'm jealous and. And for the following weeks
after that, I just got ignored. Like proper silent treatment
just was. Yeah, but it made me feel how.
Long did it take for? Her to see.
How long did it take for her to come round roughly?
Well idiot little bitch over here me I it was her birthday
coming up in like 2 weeks after I came out.
So what did I do? I fucking throw a surprise
birthday party while she was ignoring me.
I was like yeah, but also trying to mention this before.
You are the beaten puppy. I am the beaten puppy.
So yeah, I know. So it gets kicked, it's starved,
it's riddled with worms, and it's like.
All of those would bring. You a bit of like infested
chicken carcass and Freya will throw you a surprise birthday.
Yeah, literally not. Probably one of the best ideas
you've ever had, darling. You know what?
It's also probably not one of the worst.
No, I've definitely done worse. I mean, it worked.
She loved the party. OK, it's a great party back in
her good books. And then I think over time, The
thing is, is that she actually really liked my girlfriend as
well. And then when Natalia came over,
I was like, right, well, I'm obviously not going to because
at this point I was living at home with my parents.
I was like, obviously we're not going to stay here, so we'll go
stay over at Megan's. She's like, no, I'm like, you
actually joking? Oh my God.
So even though she'd made your life hell over it, then when
you'd been like, well, I'll go and stay somewhere else.
No, no, no, no, no, you won't. Oh, no, you don't have to.
Oh, don't be so. Were you allowed to stay in the
same bedroom? Oh.
No. OK.
That's still snuck in there, yeah.
But that's that is weird because you're both like fully grown
adults at this point. So again, yeah, it comes down to
a bit of a control thing, doesn't it?
Because it's like she's. The same I don't.
Necessarily want you here, but I don't want you to go anywhere
else anywhere else but if you stay here it has to be on my
rules yes, which I really don't like like if my parents told me
they just would never but I'd be.
I think also I was like, I was really just like clinging to any
form of acceptance. So, you know, whether that
looked like spare rooms or not. Yes.
And I also didn't want to kick up a fuss about it because she'd
already been weird about the whole sexual thing and if I then
she wants it to be like. We're together, but we've never
talked. With the best of friends, honey.
OK. Yeah, I kind of get that.
Yeah, and but over time, you know, is what it is.
I ended up just getting more and more confident in my sexuality.
She then very slowly figured out that clearly it wasn't just
Natalia, there were other girls because it.
Took until me. I.
Still like until me remember we were all sat down having
breakfast and one day a remark was made like, oh, do you know?
But you're not you're not a lesbian.
And I went yeah, she fucking is. And she looked at phrase if to
be like you taking the piss, bearing in mind I was her third
girlfriend at this point. You'd also dated other girls.
Yes. Yeah.
And she was like appalled because I think she thought like
you were going to do a bit of a Libby May, if you don't know,
Libby May, by the way, is. Libby May with a boy, No.
But she always does this stupid fucking TikTok.
She was like, when I turned 30, I'm going to marry a man.
Oh, that one's annoying. I think your mum genuinely still
believed that you were going to end up with a man one day.
So that was a second quite hard swallow to pillow.
Swallow pillow. Swallow to pillow.
Pillow to swallow, pill to swallow because she was
convinced that this would be a. Tale I wasn't doing any
swallowing at all. But I do just want to say that,
you know, now she's amazing. She's amazing with me, has
always been amazing with me as well.
And day one has always been very, very welcome and very
amazing. This is no tea, no shade on my
mom because I actually love her so much, right?
It's just the situation and that moment, it was horrendous.
You don't need to say that, I always feel like you have this
guilt thing where you have to disclaim it but you loving your
mum has got nothing to do with the fat.
But that was fucking traumatising.
For you, there's two things in this world that you can control,
and it's your reaction, but it's not somebody else's actions.
So you know your reaction to things is something that you
have. God, I need to take that advice.
But but with somebody else's actions, you're not responsible.
There's nothing that you can do. And I think the key take away
that I would give to you guys if you're either going through a
similar thing have been or feel like you may reach a bad
audience when you're coming out is that don't.
Do it until you're ready, first of all, to deal with that.
To deal. With that, go bad.
Make sure that you have a great support system around you if you
feel like it is a really dangerous.
Environment and women say support system as well because I
think we're in a really privileged position and always
have been where we've always had amazing friends.
Not everyone's in that position. So we will make sure to tag a
lot of amazing resources and places that and people that you
can turn to. And also, this is one of the
most incredible things about the Internet now is that you can
find your people online. So even though they may not
physically be there, there are so many queer groups, queer
spaces like you guys. I mean, there's us.
Well, yeah, but that's the thing.
Make friends in our comments, you know, like the lesbian
horror, sorry, the lesbian heartbreak story.
People are commenting underneath saying, yeah, it was
heartbreaking for me this happened, that happened.
And I, I briefly see other people come in and sort of help
help that person, which is amazing.
We're all there. We've all been through the same
thing. No matter what our coming out
looked like, we're all going through the same thing.
We've all had that worry for sure all.
Had that worry, that anxiety, but also it's so cliche.
It does get so much better. I think that when you start to
really accept who you are as a well look.
At you now you literally have a podcast called the Lesbians Saba
Club. Yeah, I if that.
Doesn't say it all, then I don't know what does.
I'm scissoring left and right. That was a topic for another
time, someone said. Yeah, actually.
Scissor. I know.
It's really interesting. An awful lot.
Did you not make your Barbie scissor?
That's how you know you're gay? I am my Barbie scissor.
Yeah, that's why you're a lesbian.
I. He walked into it every.
Time, I know, but I honestly am so glad that I did do it.
It was a horrific story. I live to tell the tale.
But but also I, you know, we are here and we are very visible as
lesbian women. I am so deeply happy to be gay.
Back then, if somebody said to me you can be straight tomorrow,
I would have done it. Somebody said it to me.
Now I'd run for the fucking hills.
I love being gay. And get us away.
Yeah, I am. Shout out to those who are going
through a really shitty time. I'm looking at the dog right now
so this is really distracting. By the way, lovingly looking
into my eyes like I am the best thing he's ever seen in his.
Whole life come over to me first.
Because I said to him, mummy and your mummy, all right, piss off.
No, I'm Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, mum and mummy.
So my. Coming.
But I want to hear, yeah, I want to hear your coming out story
because mine's very different. It's a lot lighter, but there
was still, there was still some painful moments in it.
So I grew up, I think a lot of you know this now.
So I grew up in the depths of Somerset.
So I've said it before, like I quite literally, I think for a
period of time was the only gate of the village village.
Well the one that was definitely only out.
I mean I know there's loads down there, yeah, I could probably
name them all, but I'm not going to do that.
I'm going to out all of those straight men at the local pub.
I fucking hate gay people all. Right, Jeffrey, we know you're
taking out this is. Not a Jeffrey, but yeah.
And so I had a lot of because I think you grew up in a really
liberal place. No, no, you would think that
Windsor was liberal. It wasn't.
There was no one was gay when I was at school, obviously in the
time that we were coming out, but that we were actually, I
mean. With you being in quite close
proximity to London, but you never actually really went to
London as a child, did you? Oddly enough lived really close
to it, but never. OK.
So we both grew up in quite conservative places, so mine was
conservative. But then also, you know, like
they're 20 years behind. So like we're living now in
2023, they're living in 2000. And yours is definitely worse
than Windsor for. Sure, yeah, Windsor was still
quite progressive in the sense of like you live in the same
time relatively, probably about 3-3 years behind London.
Somerset is probably a good 20. So I mentioned this briefly
before. Was in love with my best friend
that didn't work out. Had a fling with someone else
who it made me realise that it wasn't just one person that was
definitely a rebound just to make sure that I was gay.
And once I realised that I chucked that person.
So yeah, had a bit of a fling with this person.
It definitely validated what I wanted it to validate.
Realised that me and this person, I mean they were
absolutely lovely, but like I had honestly absolutely nothing
in common. So I got up one day, walked out,
just never went. Like literally never showed up
my face again. Met my first girlfriend in Bath,
which we all had the absolutely delight of hearing about in the
heartbreak episode and kept going back and forth to Bath.
And I kept dropping hints to my mom because me and my mom are
super close. Like my mom is genuinely one of
my best friends. Like I FaceTime her about three
times a day. And other than Jessie Carson, I
think my mom is one of the only people that can make me laugh.
Like, I love her, but again, didn't know how she was going to
react because, like, we just hadn't ever been around gay
people. Or, like, you know, she's never
outwardly said anything really homophobic.
I mean, they definitely say slurs down there, but it doesn't
come with hate. Right?
So they say things that are problematic, but because it's
just a regurgitation, not because they actually feel that
way. Yeah, it's a really weird thing
to say, but it is the truth. Like there were two gay men that
used to work at my auntie's pub and they'd come down from being
upstairs and my nan would be like, you just had a bum in.
And she loved him. She absolutely loved him.
I'm going to go to the pub to see Paul and Chris.
But she would just say things like that, right?
So I just didn't really know. And my I kept dropping hints.
Then one day my mum was like, is that girl your girlfriend?
And I was like, you know, this is my moment.
So I just turned around and I was like, yeah, she is.
And she just looked at me and went, what am I going to do
about grandchildren? I was like, mum, are you that
fucking thick? I can still have kids.
And she just went all right then.
And that was it. And I was like.
This is the best story. Ever.
Anyway, told my mum, didn't really feel the need to tell
anyone else, didn't tell my dad even though my dad literally
adores me and me and him are also really close.
He comes from quite a devout Catholic background and again,
he'd he's my dad's super, super liberal, but I'd never, I think
because I was always such a straight girl as well, I think.
As well, you always live with the fear of never being that
same person that your parents adore.
Yes, right. So you, you, you feel guilty
about taking that away from them, even though you're not.
You're just being yourself and you're always who you were.
You. You fear that they're just going
to turn around and be like, no more.
Yeah. And and, you know, in a way it
would have been easier if I'd had those kind of hints about,
you know, I don't know, like the the the classic hints that down
in Somerset you'd be at Vash on lesbian, which is wrong.
But if I'd have like shaved my hair or got tattoos or, and then
because I just was so straight passing, particularly at that
time, because I was trying to just actually blend with all of
those around me, it just would have never have crossed their
minds like ever. Whereas Lewis was saying, you
know, his parents knew before he knew pretty much.
And sometimes that makes it easier.
So hadn't told my dad for the first year and a half of dating
my girlfriend. And then it was New Year's Eve
and we were, I was out with my girlfriend and two of my best
friends from home who also grew up with my dad.
So knew him really well because we'd often, you know, go to like
Thorpe Park together and he'd take us all shopping and things
like that. And I, I said to them, I was
like, oh, my dad. Like, I still haven't told him.
I've just, it's just one of those things, like I just really
didn't know how to say it. I wasn't even particularly
scared, but it was like, how do I just drop this into
conversation? So because they know him so
well, they were like, well, if you don't ring and tell him now
we will. And can I just PSA this by
saying that wasn't them forcing me to come out.
My friends know me very, very, very well and they know my dad
very, very well. It wasn't like a pressuring
like, well, we're going to out you.
It was like, we know he's going to be absolutely fine.
So if you don't do it, we'll do it for you.
That kind of thing. So at that point, he rings me
because it was New Year's to be like, happy New Year's.
I'm going to ring you before it's 12:00.
And it goes absolutely mad. And I was like, what you're
doing is like, I'm having a bit of a like house party, a few few
friends around. And I was like, OK, well, I've
got something to tell you. And he was like.
What? Because my dad has also with
some things like, you know, I'll never forget once I drove around
his house and the the tread on my tyres was well, it was non
existence. And he was like, get round to
the garage now, like he could get really angry about the not
the weirdest shit, but dad shit, dad shit, like the classic
stuff. And he's like, what?
And I was like, oh, fuck. And I just went I'm gay.
And he he just in the most calmest way ever, just went
Scarlett. I don't give a fuck.
And I was like, oh, and it was. That was the biggest relief.
I think I broke down in tears because even though I think I
knew deep down he'd be OK, there's.
Sort of worry. And I, and as well, I think it's
because I know how much my dad loves me.
I really didn't want to let him down.
And then my stepmom told me that apparently he put the hung the
phone up, went into the house party where all the music was
going off, turned off all of the music, looked up to everyone in
the house, and went. I just want everyone here to
know that Scarlett's a lesbian and if any of you don't like it,
you can get the fuck out of my house now.
Like. And that's legend status.
That is your legend and. Like ever since then, like both
my parents have always been incredible, amazing.
The only person I had a problem with was my nan, who I was also
really really close. If still am like a second mum.
So my mum's mum and me and my mum had kind of always just
hidden it from her and I don't know why.
It wasn't like my mum had ever asked me to.
It was just an unspoken thing where we just didn't mention
that side of me to Nan. So we'd all be out shopping and
she'd see someone and be asked a nice bit of stuff for you Scar.
And I'd be mum would just look at me and like roll her eyes and
just be like go along with it. And I'd be like, yeah, whilst
I'm literally like my vagina is turning inwards.
Does it usually turn outwards? Maybe you wouldn't know.
You don't go near it enough. I'm joking.
So yeah, this had gone on for ages.
And I then got to a point where I did start dropping hints.
And she definitely knew, but she was playing fucking dumb for her
own purpose. Like not satisfaction, but for
her own comfort. And then it was my, I was either
my mum's 50th, like a big birthday.
I think it was my mum's 50th and we were talking about who was
going to come and I said, well, obviously me and my girlfriend
are going to come. And she was like, oh Scarlett,
you know, Nan's going to be there.
And I was like, so she was like, well, you know, it's going to be
awkward. I don't want to cause a thing
about that. And at that point I just lost my
fucking time because I've been with this person for over 2
years. My cousins had boyfriends coming
in and out every fucking six months.
They could come to every family event ever.
And I was just like, do you know what?
At this point, the level of fucking disrespect because I at
this point as well, I got so confident in my own sexuality.
That you couldn't give a flying fuck.
I don't. Care if people don't like me for
being gay? Show me as soon as possible so I
can boot you the fuck out of my life, yeah?
Especially when it comes to family members.
Like, man, she just fuck you, Mum.
Me and mum didn't have an argument about it.
Actually. It was more me flying off the
handle. I think of the kind of the, the
secretness that I'd had to keep him for so long that I blew up,
packed my stuff and drove back to London because I was at home
at this point and I. Was like, you know what?
Fuck it, like I don't care, didn't say anything.
Obviously my mum was then so upset, had gone round to my
nan's and been like, look, you cannot put this strain on the
family anymore. Like Scarlett's gay and you have
to accept it whether you like it or not.
So my mum's actually a legend for doing that and I wish I had
the text and I tried to find it and I couldn't.
But about two days later, I received a text from my Nan and
it went something like Scarlett, this is your nan as if her
number doesn't come up on my phone with their contact
details. I just want you to know that me
and Charlie love you very much and I am sorry if I've ever made
you feel a certain way, but you have to understand it was
different when me and Charlie growing up.
And I'm thinking, well, it wasn't.
People just went out or you were just too.
Blind really quickly before you say this.
I feel like so many people find comfort in using their
generation to back up their own bigotry.
And I fucking it's not OK. It's not OK a great.
Excuse, carry on. Anyway, she goes on to say all
this and then basically was like, if you're in love with
this person and you're happy, then I'm happy to love you
always Nan. And then that was it.
And then she was fine. But I did hold on to her
projection of homophobia for a while.
And so we met actually, and I was so nervous to introduce.
I've been. I'd again had two girlfriends
long term. They'd met my No, they hadn't.
One had, one hadn't kind of kept them away because I was just
really awkward by this point. She hadn't said anything bad.
It just made me so awkward. So my Nan's a massive country
song. Sorry country music enthusiast.
So I was so nervous of her meeting Freya.
Within literally 2 minutes of Freya coming through the door, I
threw a guitar in Freya's laugh and was like sing for her
because it was like that was my brain's way of breaking the ice.
And to be fair to me, I mean it worked.
That was a good she was. Stroking my leg.
Within no time I was playing that she.
Yeah. And now my nan is so fucking
funny, like she loves Freya more than me.
And we were all sat at her house a few months ago and sadly my
granddad passed away last year. And we were all talking and
Freya came over and just gave me a kiss on the cheek and she went
oh isn't that lovely? And then she just looked up out
of no and went do you think I could be a lesbian?
And Freya looked up and was like, well, I don't know, Nan,
do you reckon you could? Well, I think I could, but I
couldn't do all that licking and.
We were like. Probably not.
Then no, I didn't say probably not.
I said that's fine, you just be a pillow pillow Princess.
What's that? But don't you worry, you'll find
out. But.
But yeah my whole family now are absolutely fine.
I was really blessed. My 2 closest friends, when they
came out, they literally laughed in my face and was like do you
think we're fucking blind? We know I've been crying over a
girl. For the past five years, as if
it wasn't obvious that I was in love with her.
I mean, we always think that it's not obvious, but yeah, it
was obvious. Yeah.
And yeah, I was really lucky by then, everyone surrounded with
me. I had a couple of bigotry
comments from like family members.
Once my auntie looked up to me and was like, oh, you're gay.
And I was like, yeah, I thought she knew.
She was like, oh, why? It's disgusting.
And I looked up and I was like, yeah, a bit like you having a
different boyfriend every fucking three months for the
past six years. But I don't look up and say
anything, do I? No, you fucking should.
Well I did. I did look up and said that and
that shot her down. I'm not slut shaming anyone, but
it was more like it. Was more like, you're coming to
judge me. It's more the earth.
That's what gets this done. I'm facing your growth.
One thing I could say that, yeah.
No, it's a pretty good one. It's pretty good comeback, I
mean. I'm quick because.
I remember that when you are very quick it's actually fucking
annoying when I when I went to an all girls school which was
literally like a factory of just cunts everywhere and in the
worst way. Possible factory, not the kind
that we'd like. Yeah, shit cunts.
And, and it was it really was like lesbian.
They'd be like like it was everything was like, do you know
that she kisses girls or like there was this one girl who was
obviously a lesbian and it was like, stay away, don't let her
look at you. When, whenever like we were in
the changing room, they were like, oh, she's walking in hide,
hide your tits, like those kind of stuff.
Meanwhile I'm there like ello tits.
Jokes so bad. I didn't want to fuck any of
them, they were all ugly. PSA so all of those straight
girls are like, Oh no, she's a lesbian.
She's going to fancy me. It makes me feel uncomfortable.
You being straight and a female doesn't make you any higher than
A2. No, like you you do you know
what I mean? Yeah, it doesn't suddenly make
you attractive. So and also probably fine.
That attitude sends that rating straight down to the that guy
Sarah. No one's going to want to touch
you with a 10 foot barge pile. So you're fine.
You're absolutely fine. I hate it when girls say that.
Oh, it's. The one it's going to.
Fancy me? No, I've got a pair of fucking
eyes. Trust me, I'm not.
I've also got a pair of ears and the shit that comes out of your
mouth even if you're a 10. I wouldn't.
I have to. Two drinks I'd probably consider
it, but before that I would never.
So on the coming out story, we kind of mentioned this during Do
it when you're ready. Yes.
Freya's advice would be different to mine, so I'm going
to give mine, and I know that I'm in a privileged space to be
able to say this. Do it when you're ready.
You will lose people and I know even if some of those are family
members I couldn't actually imagine so I can't really
comment on that. But definitely friends,
acquaintances. Fuck em.
Do you not just fuck them? If you tell them and they react
badly? Thank you and fuck you goodbye.
It will make space for you to be freer in yourself and find
people who love you just for who you are.
Like even when I was in the midst of worrying and I was
lucky because a lot of people did accept me, but people don't
accept me every day now for being gay.
You know, we meet people every day who don't accept me or us.
It doesn't bother me because I don't care because I'm so happy.
And I think that's the biggest piece of advice I can give is
hold out going through, you know, keep hold of yourself
going through the, the trauma and the, the difficulty that
will be coming out. Because I'm not sure if it ever
is 100% easy because it will always be very emotionally
fueled, even if it's positive. So I think everyone's always
struggles with it, but know that you will come out the other side
eventually and you will never regret it.
No. You'll never regret it.
You would regret never coming out and living a life.
Yeah, you've really got to be true to yourself because I think
about all those years that I beat myself up and wasted, and I
did waste it. And like I said before, I'm so
incredibly comfortable now. The only thing that I can say to
you is make sure you're in a safe space to do it.
Yes and no. But also, you know, I do
genuinely think that we're also not here to educate other
people. I think that the resources are
there for everyone. They have to be fucking blind
and deaf to not be able to know that gay people exist.
And we are very happy. We can live very fulfilling
lives. Yeah.
Don't also let them say, you know, I'm just worried about you
because of what this might look like for your life.
No, no, no, no. Our lives are great, OK.
We've been and. You had amazing jobs, you.
Do have the odd thing that happens, you know, and that's
just due to big to people everywhere.
But honestly, just live your live your truth and come out and
do what's best for you. And just know that there is a
massive community behind you that will love and support you
no matter what. Absolutely, yeah.
I wish you all the best of luck. If you're looking at doing it
and if you have done it and you've had a bad experience,
then I'm so sorry, but I'm right there with you.
Ben, you will also find your way.
You will find your way eventually you will.
So Marcelo, our producer just made a very good point there in
the background that we will, we're going to just mention is,
you know, when, when and people make comments about, oh, you
fancy the same sex, like that's disgusting, or your two boys or
your two girls. And it's actually quite funny
because they're talking about, these people are talking about
themselves. So if you're a man saying that
you find 2 men disgusting, you're basically saying you find
yourself disgusting. And the same with a woman.
So that's actually a very bizarre angle to yeah.
How bizarre being like, oh, so you're like going down on girls
then? But it's like, but do you not
like? I mean, in all fairness, I don't
understand. 99% of the time now I actually get straight women
say to me I fucking hate my husband.
I'm disgraced that I'm gay, I'm straight.
I wish that. I was gay.
You're, so the tables have turned.
Not even in the way where, like, I wish it could be of a woman
because it'd be easier as in like, fuck me, I really, really
wish that I was gay. Yeah.
So the tables are turning. They are.
They're turning. But yeah, that's a really good
point. Yeah, for sure.
So on a much lighter note, but it's not, it's not light on the
stomach. We've now got Horror Story,
which I'm going to get Freya to read out.
So today's Horror Story is next level like I this out to me
earlier and I was like, oh man, but we got to say it because I
can't I can't keep this one away from you guys.
So this has come from a I'm going to keep her anonymous
because I think she might need it.
You asked for horror stories about a year ago.
I went down on a very hot girl, or tried to.
It turned out that she had a really bad executive dysfunction
which made it very difficult for her to shower.
I found this out because I dove down very enthusiastically,
touched her with my tongue, and immediately threw up.
In fairness, there was alcohol involved, but it's probably the
most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me.
Yes, I literally threw up on this poor girl's crotch.
I still think she should have said something when my face
started descending, given that she had to have known that she
hadn't showered in weeks. She only told me this after I
profusely apologised while sobbing because I literally
threw up on her pussy because it tasted so foul.
She goes. Please don't mention my name if
you do tell this story and I'll be able to go out of public
again. OK, look.
Oh. God, wow, Oh no, right.
I've got a lot to say on this. So first of all, very much
understands that some people have physical and mental health
issues which make it much more difficult for them to keep their
personal hygiene app. Right, that's just a preface.
We know that, okay, This is not the point of the story.
That is fucking disgusting. That is disgusting.
You're a dirty. Bastard, Nan would say.
Dirty old bastard. Just get a bit of Imperial
Leather up there. What's wrong with it?
Well, Thrush and BV Nan but. Yeah.
That is no. Do you?
Know what it is the not telling. It's the not telling, right?
It's just a bit like rude. If you know that you have this
problem, you're probably not best off engaging in oral sex
with someone or. Any kind of sex, I'm sorry,
don't dismiss. You because like you would see
them go because like even like no.
I'm sorry because even if you were to.
But also you think about the amount of public toilets that
they've used as well. I can only hope they write wipe
front to back and not back to front.
Just a bit of poo. That's just come into my mind.
Yeah, you say not oral anything. I wouldn't even want to strap
someone who'd not showered and weeds because you'd smell it.
I'd probably fucking pass out. And then as you'd pass out,
you'd pass out into their pussy. That would just be my.
Wearing a strap on. Oh, I just.
Yeah, no, I'm really sorry because like, that is a really?
Did she? I have a question though.
Did you not smell it before you put your tongue on that though?
Because I feel like you've been drunk.
I feel like me and you are very very sensitive to smells though,
so this may not. Apply to the general and she.
Drove down so she was dedicated to the purse, which.
I respect the dedication to the purse, but I also feel like you
would smell that if I can mile away shortly.
Depends. Depends what the girl was
wearing and as you say as well, like sometimes like my perfume.
It's not her fault. No, babe, it's not your.
Fault. Sorry.
My perfume's quite strong that I don't really.
I can smell my perfume a lot when I'm walking around, so I
don't. No, sorry.
I don't necessarily always detect other smells.
Yeah, because I'm smelling my own smell.
But I think that she just owed her that common courtesy to just
say absolutely, let's not do this right now, absolutely.
And she didn't even have to say that she has this issue.
She could just say no, I'm not failing.
She could have said, look I do have an issue, I've not showered
in a few weeks and go down there take a whiff and if let me know
if you fancy it and if not no worries.
I imagine it to be like you don't have a pink.
You know, yeah, they will. You know, when like you've just
bought a load of cheese and then you open up the fridge door?
I imagine it to be like that, worse gone off milk.
I quite like that smell. Maybe.
Me and you would be fucking great.
Maybe you'd be great. That's another charity, Dirty
Purse Charity. The Dirty Purse Foundation.
The DPS. Yeah, I can't.
I'm just so, so grateful. I've never.
I've never encountered that I can actually safely.
Say that I've never. Yeah, obviously all vagina
smells and tastes stiff right in it.
None of it is. Ever.
You know when there's a? Problem.
Oh, you know when and again, we all get BV, right?
We do. We all get BV.
But that again is also very because that's not a cleanliness
thing. That's actually a dog best
friendliest thing. Dog biscuits and a packet of
skips. But that's very different.
Oh, what a lovely dessert. I love skips.
Spit out for a couple cocktails, nothing in the fridge.
I'll munch on that pussy because it's some dog biscuits and a bag
of skips. I need to get rid of this
microphone. Put it in the bin.
Yeah, put the mic. I need to put myself in the bin.
Yeah. Well, so to this person, I mean,
you are, you're actually an Angel for crying and
apologising. I would have been calling it out
way before this person told me that she had an executive
dysfunction disorder because I would have literally just been
like, I don't know if you've noticed, but that reeks.
And that's why I've had to vomit, because that was like
jumping into a Victorian sewage. What now?
She now she has. Oh, imagine if she didn't.
No, Imagine if she didn't clean it.
Or after it got vomited on as well.
Maybe that's why it smells so bad, because every girl just
keeps vomiting on her. It's like the.
Human Caterpillar, but the pussy, the human centipede.
I'm. The Caterpillar.
We've really taken this too far to the girl, I'm sorry that ever
happened to you. I hope that doesn't put you off
vagina and to any of those straight in quotation marks
girls that listen to this podcast, let me tell you
statistically, and this is a made-up statistic in my head
that I fucking. Know 99.9%. 99.9999% of pussy
tastes like vanilla and sugar and I can guarantee that that
pussy is 99.999% cleaner than the smeg that is building.
Around your ex-boyfriend. 'S bell end.
OK, that was. Was.
True. That was beautiful.
You bring Smeg into the conversation.
It's true. Once you bring, I can't.
Go through an episode of The Lesbian Supper Club without
dicking on men. So true.
Anyway, that is it for today's episode.
Thank you guys so much. Honestly, it just gets better
and better as far as I'm concerned.
My advice for today's episode is wash your Bajaj, come out Bajaj,
be gay, be proud classic and wash your puss puss.
Use back balance active clean your bajean.
Don't spray it though. Because then you will get nose
spray nose just. Just a bit of water.
There are products out there, I mean.
I Oh my God, are you? Gonna say what I personally use.
No, that's wrong. Well, yeah.
Until Fem Fresh want to sponsor? No, until Aesop want to fucking
sponsor us, I'm not going to go into how I use their products.
Anyway, thank you guys. We love you.
Thank you. We'll catch you next week.
Catch you next week, guys. Bye.