1 00:00:15,790 --> 00:00:18,390 Hello lesbians. I want to start off today a 2 00:00:18,390 --> 00:00:24,030 little bit differently. It's Freya speaking, and I feel 3 00:00:24,030 --> 00:00:28,310 like everyone wants to talk about this one thing that has 4 00:00:28,310 --> 00:00:32,750 obviously happened within the USI think it's pretty clear 5 00:00:32,750 --> 00:00:36,960 where we stand. We do not support Trump and we 6 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:41,360 were obviously rooting for Kamala Harris to be the next 7 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:45,480 president. I think now what's happened is 8 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:51,160 this really horrendous man has managed to get into power, 9 00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:54,680 someone who you probably wouldn't trust to hold your 10 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:57,560 drink for you. I mean, I know that I certainly 11 00:00:57,560 --> 00:00:59,240 would not be trusting him to hold my drink. 12 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:04,720 A man who has been convicted of multiple sexual assaults, fraud, 13 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:09,560 felonies, you name it. I mean, all hopes that can't 14 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,360 just go straight into jail. Do you know what I mean? 15 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:15,240 And just stays there. But regardless of whether he's 16 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:18,600 gotten in or not, I and I know that Scarlett feels the same. 17 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:22,280 We want you to know that we as the Lesbian Supper Club, we are 18 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,560 here for you. If you are in the States right 19 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:27,680 now and this was against your decision and you're feeling it 20 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:31,600 very, very hard like the rest of a lot of LGBTQ plus individuals 21 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:36,800 and also not to mention women, then fucking hell on this 22 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,680 podcast. And we will be as gay as 23 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:46,000 possible for you and try and shed some light on this 24 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:49,240 horrendous man getting into power. 25 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:52,240 And as much as people like to say it's just because you hate 26 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:56,200 Trump, it's based on facts. It's an opinion based on facts. 27 00:01:56,200 --> 00:02:00,040 I'm not making up facts. You cannot possibly do that. 28 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:05,960 I as Auk citizen, I believe that I actually do have more 29 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:10,320 knowledge on the bills that he is looking to pass and the laws 30 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:13,600 he is looking to pass and already has passed that is 31 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:16,920 against the LGBTQ plus community and also women. 32 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:18,920 And that's the best case scenario. 33 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:22,120 The worst case scenario is I know exactly the same if not 34 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,520 less and they still voted him into power. 35 00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:29,360 It is absolutely incomprehensible and I feel for 36 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:34,520 all of you who just didn't want this asshole to dictate your 37 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:36,560 bodies, your lives, your freedom. 38 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:40,200 And when people say to me and Scarlett, they say this is a 39 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:43,640 lesbian supper club page. Why are you getting political? 40 00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:46,200 This is on Instagram. I don't know how else I can say 41 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:50,080 this to you. Being a lesbian, being a woman, 42 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:54,720 being anything under the LGBTQ plus umbrella. 43 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:59,720 We unfortunately are heavily impacted by politics. 44 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:03,120 Heavily. Not only that, it is also there 45 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:07,520 to build laws that restrict our freedom because we are gay, 46 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:10,440 because we are a woman. So you want to ask me why I'm 47 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:14,680 political on a lesbian podcast or a lesbian page? 48 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,840 That is why. Because the whole purpose of our 49 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:21,040 podcast is for equality. It's for representation. 50 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,920 You want to I, I just, it baffles me. 51 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,000 It baffles me. But sometimes you just cannot 52 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,160 argue with thick. You cannot, like it is 53 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:32,520 impossible to argue with Dick, but I think just like in this 54 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:36,480 time now, you can't change what has happened. 55 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:40,040 You just can't. OK, let's let's just OK, park 56 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:44,480 that to the side we go. How are we going to ensure I, 57 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:49,440 like myself and my friends and my family, are safe, happy, 58 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:53,120 secure? And I think that by sticking 59 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:55,960 together tighter than ever within the LGBTQ plus community 60 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:59,280 or the allies and the women that are all on the same page, that 61 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,240 is the most unbreakable thing that you can do. 62 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:04,360 Because as soon as you will start pointing fingers at one 63 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,120 another, it's just going to get so much worse. 64 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:10,880 And they also want you to be hysterical, These right wing 65 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,560 bigots, not a fucking tooth in their head. 66 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:18,760 People love seeing liberal people get up and there's a 67 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,440 fucking good reason why we're upset. 68 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:23,040 Yeah, of course there is, but they they love it. 69 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:26,040 They thrive off it. They think that we are 70 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,840 uneducated. They probably don't have one 71 00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:31,560 singular GCSE between the whole family. 72 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:34,520 That's you know, but it's fucking it's a classic and it 73 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,160 happens everywhere. It happens everywhere. 74 00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:38,720 But the main thing to do is just yet we we stay together. 75 00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:41,760 I really hope that these laws and bills is trying to pass, 76 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:44,640 especially within Project 25, which of course he will love to 77 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:47,320 say that he has no involvement in, even though 25 of his 78 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:51,400 administration wrote it and 140 of his employees work on it. 79 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:55,760 So he's got dementia, he's got severe cognitive like 80 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:59,600 dysfunction, or he's lying. Which one do you fucking think 81 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:00,760 it is? OK. 82 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:03,160 We've just got to hope that those don't get passed. 83 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:06,000 And in the meantime, be so kind to yourself. 84 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:09,160 Be so kind to other people. Don't let this make you wish 85 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:13,360 that you were any different than you are, please, because there 86 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:17,040 is nothing better than living your truth and feeling that 87 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,040 freedom. This is something that people 88 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:22,480 like that are never going to feel, never going to feel 89 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:26,720 because they are not one either brave enough or they just lack 90 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,920 that empathy. Imagine living a life where you 91 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,960 lack empathy. You're a miserable human being 92 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,240 and talk about miserable human beings. 93 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:37,720 I really want to talk today about mental health. 94 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:41,120 I know that me and Scarlett have like spoken about mental health 95 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,240 quite a bit on this podcast because I feel like it's super 96 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:46,360 relevant and also having better help as our sponsor. 97 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:49,160 I mean, come on, it's great and we love talking about mental 98 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,440 health. But recently I've just been 99 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:54,640 working a lot more on my mental health and kind of understanding 100 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,800 actually the impacts that it's had in my life. 101 00:05:56,800 --> 00:06:00,280 And I only really want to talk about the areas that I've 102 00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:03,360 personally like struggled with mental health because I feel 103 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,880 like, you know, I can definitely lend an ear and have some kind 104 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:09,920 of advice for people who, you know, suffered with something 105 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,280 that I don't that I have never gone through. 106 00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:14,600 But I think it's always best to hear it from someone who's 107 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:17,080 actually gone through it or is going through it. 108 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:19,560 I think you all know, I mean, I've mentioned it before, like 109 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:23,280 how bad my anxiety, it's like I have like a generalized anxiety 110 00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:25,040 disorder. It's more like a panic disorder 111 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:30,200 where it will, I will spiral into panic attacks and some days 112 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,000 obviously much better than others. 113 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:36,480 But when I tell you it's so fucking exhausting, it is 114 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:41,760 sometimes just debilitating. And not only does it make me 115 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:45,200 feel kind of, it makes me feel like I want to jump out of my 116 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:46,400 own skin. It makes me feel like I don't 117 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,280 want to be here. It makes me want to completely, 118 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:51,240 I mean, just erase myself, like get out, get out. 119 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:54,560 It becomes so overwhelming. But also then I feel sorry for 120 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,560 people who are around me and people who have to deal with it. 121 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,840 You know, whether that be Scarlet, whether it be family, 122 00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:03,720 friends, I, I feel terrible within those moments because and 123 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,080 by the way, no one's made me feel terrible about it, but it 124 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:10,160 makes you feel really the way that I can put it is like 125 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:12,800 pathetic as it makes me feel pathetic. 126 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,360 And I think my ADHD has quite a lot to do with that because 127 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:17,840 obviously I think it's got to do with that and also like 128 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:20,480 rumination. So if you've got a DHDI think 129 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:24,000 it's a lot easier to spiral. It's harder to talk yourself out 130 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:28,840 of a spiral when you have ADHD because your brain just is wired 131 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,160 so differently. And some people suffer in 132 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,840 different areas, like struggling different areas with ADHD, But 133 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:37,280 for me, a big part of mine is rejection sensitivity dysphoria 134 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:39,800 and that like emotional dysregulation. 135 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:43,240 And so therefore it's hard to kind of understand those 136 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:46,440 feelings and walk through them and get out the other side. 137 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:49,400 And instead, sometimes I'll be like the fucking Tasmanian devil 138 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,920 in my head. And there's too many thoughts to 139 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:57,000 even to even grab one to like understand what that is or where 140 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,360 that's come from. And also, it'll just make me go 141 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:02,640 to point blank, worst case scenario at all times. 142 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:06,280 It is a miserable, miserable existence. 143 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,480 And the same goes for depression. 144 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:11,040 I think for a while I didn't really think that I suffered 145 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,120 with it. And I think a lot of it does 146 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:15,240 have to do with the fact that I have anxiety. 147 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:17,600 I think the anxiety came first before the depression. 148 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,320 And I think that the amount of times where I feel like anxiety 149 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,800 has ruined just about every amazing thing in my life. 150 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,720 It doesn't mean that those things weren't still amazing and 151 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:29,120 I didn't enjoy them, but that anxiety was still there. 152 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,080 And the only time when I've ever really been able to enjoy 153 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:35,200 something is so why the fuck am I crying? 154 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,880 It's like in the past. So. 155 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,280 So I think about that, that thing and be like, oh, yeah, 156 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,480 that that holiday was really fucking good. 157 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:47,520 And like, I had a great time. And then I'm like, oh, why 158 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,200 couldn't I felt like that when I was there? 159 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:52,160 And I think it's because when I know it's because the whole time 160 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,240 that I'm there, there's that worry that something is going to 161 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:58,760 happen and my body is fucking rearing itself like ready to go. 162 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,880 So when it's in the past already, I'm like, nothing bad 163 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:03,360 happened. It was great. 164 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:06,240 So I kind of can just see that for what that is. 165 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:09,200 It's tiring. But yeah, I think it's that. 166 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,560 I know that a load of you guys agree. 167 00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:13,680 And so many of you have asked me about this and This is why I'm 168 00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:16,240 going into the detail. But you know, you have that 169 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:20,760 anxiety that stops you from enjoying the things that you 170 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:24,120 love. And then that builds this kind 171 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:27,520 of like resentment in your body. Your your brain learns behaviors 172 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:30,280 really not words. It learns those behaviors. 173 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,200 It learns. I won't like that if I go there 174 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,320 because I had a panic attack the last time and it was quite 175 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:36,240 literally a pub. Do you know what I mean? 176 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:38,200 Or it like it wasn't a dangerous space. 177 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,480 I had all my friends there. It was great. 178 00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:42,600 But my anxiety was saying go the fuck home. 179 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,280 And the amount of times I have to force myself to stay in 180 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,040 situations because I understand as well that going at home, it's 181 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:51,360 just telling your body that, yeah, you were completely right 182 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:54,760 with the anxiety shit. Like 100% I had to get the fuck 183 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,160 out of there. You have to feel the fear and do 184 00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:00,280 it anyway. And that is one of the hardest 185 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,160 things to do. And that goes for anxiety and 186 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,280 depression. And then depression, I think is 187 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:07,920 like a whole other ball game because it it makes you lose 188 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:13,200 love out of your life and lose that light and it changes who 189 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:19,000 you are for, by the way, not forever, but it changes your 190 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:22,040 perception and you start to second guess yourself. 191 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,960 You no longer trust yourself. You don't want to be in your own 192 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,960 skin. You want everything to just be 193 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,200 over. You want the struggle to be 194 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,400 over. It doesn't mean that you 195 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:33,360 necessarily are like suicidal within those moments, but you 196 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,960 just want it to be over. You don't want to feel those 197 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:37,640 things anymore and you get kind of desperate. 198 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:41,520 You want it to just go away. And then when those that when 199 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:44,560 you are like a ruminator, but like me, it's like you will like 200 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:48,320 hang on to those thoughts and you will have a circuit of 201 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:50,960 thoughts that just kind of go around and around and around. 202 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,600 And it's because you're trying to control something that you 203 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,920 don't have any control of. And you're trying to make sense 204 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,760 out of things and you're almost trying to think that it's going 205 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,560 to give you like a justification, but it just 206 00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:03,200 won't. Like you will never gain 207 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,640 anything from ruminating. You'll never gain anything from 208 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:09,080 going over the same scenario 100,000 times. 209 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:14,000 What you can do, you can build on your present and your future. 210 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:17,680 You can build on that. And it is hard. 211 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:21,640 And let me just say, like if you even managed to get out of bed 212 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,720 today, fucking well done. When you are depressed and 213 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:26,880 obviously people deal with depression so many different 214 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,080 ways and so many different tactics work for different 215 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,720 people and obviously there are different levels as well. 216 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,080 But that massive hurdle of that day could have been just getting 217 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,040 out of bed for somebody else. That massive hurdle could have 218 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:38,440 been going to work. The other person could have been 219 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:39,880 going out for dinner with a friend. 220 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,480 And and it can also fluctuate as well, right? 221 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,920 It can always be different. But if you have done those 222 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,800 things, you need to congratulate yourself every single time. 223 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,480 You can't say fucking hell wise it's so hard to do this thing. 224 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,000 God, I just wish it was easier, blah, blah, blah. 225 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,840 No, no, no, you go, I'm going there. 226 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,040 I'm so proud of myself for doing that. 227 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:58,160 I'm so proud of myself for getting out. 228 00:11:58,160 --> 00:11:59,920 I'm so proud of myself for having a shower. 229 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,160 I'm so proud of myself for brushing my teeth. 230 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:05,000 You have to. Even though you don't love 231 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:08,720 yourself within this moment of depression, you need to force 232 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:12,560 yourself to tell yourself affirmations of love and 233 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:15,080 kindness. It is so hard. 234 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:19,040 It is so hard and it makes you flip out and it's so hard trying 235 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:22,000 to love yourself when the depression has made you feel 236 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,480 like an entirely different person, a person that you don't 237 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:26,080 recognize. So in your head you're thinking, 238 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,120 how the fuck am I supposed to love this? 239 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:30,800 Because I don't love what's going on right now and I don't 240 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,480 love this person. This person isn't me. 241 00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:35,680 But you need to show that person love because that person, you 242 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,480 are still there, right? And that person, the more that 243 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,960 you shed that love on it, you're just kind of washing away, 244 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:44,520 washing away, washing away and bringing back your core, your 245 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:47,160 person, who you are. And depression takes the most 246 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:50,200 lightest, beautiful souls. It has no mercy. 247 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:53,240 It doesn't matter who you are, doesn't matter how much money 248 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:59,280 you have or how many friends you have or success, family, house, 249 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,040 whatever it might be, it doesn't matter. 250 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:05,960 It has no type. Depression is basically like the 251 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:10,480 mental health version of a slag. It doesn't really matter who you 252 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,320 are, what you got. They'll fuck you anyway. 253 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:15,040 Do you know what I mean? Like, like the depression will 254 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:19,080 fuck you anyway. And I think that sometimes in 255 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,560 those moments of lightness, and it could just be that you saw 256 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:24,400 something really cute. You saw a dog earlier when you 257 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,640 were getting a coffee that really, like, warmed your heart 258 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,520 or you watched a film that made you feel better. 259 00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:30,920 You know, those things you need to, like, be like, fucking. 260 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,640 Yeah. Like, there is. 261 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,120 There is goodness. And we've and we've been in that 262 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:38,240 good place before. It's so trust me, you'll really 263 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:40,480 saying Freya, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. 264 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:42,120 And I and I get it. I get it. 265 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:45,280 I fucking get it honestly. Like fuck, it's exhausting. 266 00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:49,120 It is fatiguing. It makes you hate everything in 267 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,240 your fucking life. But Jesus Christ, please just 268 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:56,160 listen to me as the voice of reason, as someone who knows 269 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:59,560 exactly how it feels that you kind of raise this. 270 00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:02,000 You can get over it. And you will have your moments 271 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,520 of flipping out and say you've had a few weeks where you're 272 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,840 feeling so much better. You've been able to do normal 273 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,840 things again. And you're like seeing your 274 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,440 friends. You're managing to laugh and 275 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,240 you're and then you have that one day on a Thursday and you 276 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,120 fucking break down in tears and you can't leave your room. 277 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:16,760 It doesn't mean it's coming back. 278 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:18,440 It's because healing isn't linear. 279 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,680 Healing doesn't just go whoop, let's fucking go. 280 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:23,280 It's not like a plane. It's basically like a turbulent 281 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,960 plane, actually. It's like you will get up there 282 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,960 and you will have some rocky moments. 283 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,760 It doesn't mean that the plane is going to crash. 284 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:34,920 It just means that you are still on your journey to reach this 285 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:39,480 destination that you can't wait for, but you're up in the air 286 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:43,240 and you've managed to get off the runway and you're up here 287 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:47,680 and you're doing the best that you can and you are carrying all 288 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:50,720 of those problems. So depression is like a plane 289 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:54,480 now that I've decided you are carrying all those problems, 290 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,880 you're carrying all that baggage, you are lifting the 291 00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,680 load. You are a fucking heavy machine 292 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:04,440 and you're supposed to fucking fly when you're a machine, a 293 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:07,080 metal machine on the ground and someone's saying you need to 294 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:09,120 fucking fly now. And you're going, no, because 295 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:12,600 I'm literally like 20 tons. I don't even know how fucking 296 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:13,600 heavy is a plane. I don't know. 297 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:18,040 You're like, I am literally, I am this huge fucking thing with 298 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:20,400 some little wheels. How on earth am I supposed to 299 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,800 get up there? And the more and more 300 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,320 encouragement, the more engineers work on you and you 301 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,320 finally realize that you've got these, like you've got these 302 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,760 turbines behind you and some wings. 303 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:32,400 And those wings can be the people that really fucking help 304 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:35,200 you and who are just or even just there for you or even your 305 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,120 own thoughts that are there for you. 306 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:40,080 And those turbines is the power. That's the power that you need 307 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:44,600 to push yourself. And not too much by the way, but 308 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:47,400 you need to give yourself that like healthy encouragement. 309 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:50,840 And then you find yourself slowly gliding up. 310 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,440 And then when you are up, you will have those moments of 311 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,840 turbulence where it feels like you're going to fail and you 312 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:57,760 feel like you're going to crash because you've still got all 313 00:15:57,760 --> 00:15:59,640 these people on board. You still got all these problems 314 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,880 on board, but whilst you're up in the air, those problems are 315 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:05,560 so much lighter than they were when you're on the ground and 316 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,080 you are about to reach that beautiful destination that's 317 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:13,320 going to make you feel warm and happy again and be able to enjoy 318 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:15,400 your life. But it takes time. 319 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:17,800 And some people's flight could be to fucking Santorini. 320 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:19,240 The next person's flight could be to Bali. 321 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:23,120 Like it's a we all just process things differently and that's 322 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,480 absolutely OK. I think comparison is the thief 323 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:26,800 of joy. Don't compare yourself to 324 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:28,960 anyone. And I think sometimes as well, 325 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,560 that's what's hard. Like people find depressed 326 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,160 people, right? And then they compare themselves 327 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:34,280 to that person and then that person might start feeling 328 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:36,400 better before you do. And then you're like, what the 329 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,200 hell, Right now I'm alone. I think The thing is with mental 330 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,400 health as well, it's such a lonely feeling like you, you 331 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,680 feel alone. You could be in a room full of 332 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:43,920 people. You feel so alone. 333 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:47,960 And it's something that when I was younger, like the only way 334 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,760 that I can really put it, it is like I've always felt like my 335 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,880 life has been like a very like long struggle. 336 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:56,080 I've struggled a lot in my life with so many different things. 337 00:16:56,240 --> 00:17:01,760 And I really, I really tried, like I spent so many years 338 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:06,560 trying to better, whether that be myself or my career, partner, 339 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:11,839 friendships, family issues. And I pushed and pushed and 340 00:17:11,839 --> 00:17:16,200 pushed like against all odds. And I did finally get to a spot 341 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,880 where I, you know, I get to plenty of spots where I feel 342 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:20,720 better. Like I'm so I'm so proud of 343 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,400 everything that I've managed to achieve. 344 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:25,119 And that's why sometimes it can be so frustrating that I still 345 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:30,760 feel this way because I thought that once I achieve everything I 346 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:36,480 wanted and I have more money, more friends, that I'll feel 347 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,920 better and that the anxiety will just wash away. 348 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:42,240 And that kind of depression, those past issues that I haven't 349 00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:44,920 actually dealt with properly will just go away. 350 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:48,320 And that's not how it works, unfortunately. 351 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:51,600 I wish someone told me, no, it doesn't work. 352 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,840 I mean, I'm in a way I'm kind of glad for it because I'm like, 353 00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:59,080 that is what strived me to do as well as I could in my life. 354 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:00,640 And I'm, by the way, I'm still going. 355 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,000 I don't feel like I've reached the peak, but like, that was 356 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,760 what strived me was that I was like, I will feel better. 357 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:11,080 So I'm kind of glad that it was there in a way, you know, 358 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:13,520 because I feel like I probably wouldn't have achieved as much 359 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:17,320 as I have so far at the age of 30 then I would have done had I 360 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:19,720 not had those issues. You know, I think it's like 361 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,600 trying to see the Silver Linings maybe. 362 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,520 But it does. It does get better and I know 363 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,560 that it gets better and I've definitely had moments in life 364 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:30,760 where I felt 100 times better than I feel today, for instance. 365 00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:33,600 And I've had days where I felt 200% worse. 366 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,160 So I think it's about remembering those things that 367 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:39,400 you can put that effort into. But fucking hell, like, I don't 368 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:43,840 know about you guys, but I also feel like intro prospection. 369 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:48,040 I think that's the word introspection is where you is 370 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:53,160 basically where you where you are always thinking about your 371 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,320 mental health in the sense where and just the person that you are 372 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:59,000 because you're trying to like continually like better things. 373 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,760 You're trying to analyze things and sometimes we don't need to 374 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:04,440 analyze everything. Not everything can be put down 375 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,880 to an attachment type. Not everything can be put down 376 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,960 to a mental health illness. Not everything can be put down 377 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,720 to a neurodivergency. Sometimes we are just who we 378 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:18,440 fucking are and we are all humans and you can't just shove 379 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:21,960 a fucking label on everything because it's just not how it 380 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,680 fucking. It's just not how it works. 381 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:27,080 Like you need to be able to have more like compassion for just 382 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,400 the person that you are and be like, I said no to that because 383 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:33,200 I just didn't want to fucking go or I, you know, and just own 384 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,960 your shit and be like, yeah, I got angry. 385 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,280 You know, I don't want to maybe I don't want to have to talk 386 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,240 about like all the fucking triggers which got me to that 387 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,560 point. Like I just say like something 388 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:46,600 angered me and I got angry because we're still animals. 389 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:49,400 We still have that like animalistic instinct that's 390 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:52,280 within us, right? To have that like right out, 391 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,400 like to have that thing that goes that like protection. 392 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,120 You know, I don't know. I think I think as well, like 393 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,080 obviously with mental health issues, I don't know if it's 394 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:05,280 because people within the LGBTQ community are more open. 395 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:09,440 We talk about it more, but I do actually think that we similarly 396 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,280 just kind of suffer with a lot more in our lives, a lot more 397 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:16,680 adversity where we face homophobia every day, whether it 398 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:20,280 be microbe, we face it. We worry about telling a 399 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:21,880 stranger that we've got a girlfriend. 400 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:25,000 We worry that any person really just won't accept you for who 401 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:29,240 you are and true truly just based on your sexuality. 402 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,520 So it's no longer got to do with your personality. 403 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,680 It's got no longer to do with the way that you look. 404 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:37,640 You know that your your worth is up to debate with just about 405 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:39,640 anyone just purely based on your sexuality. 406 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,720 So basically just be a cunt because they're going to hate 407 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,160 you anyway. And sometimes you can't kill 408 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,720 people with kindness. Sometimes you just can't. 409 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,240 Like I feel like people, people don't like what they don't 410 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:52,120 understand. People don't like what they're 411 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:54,600 scared of because potentially it triggers a little something 412 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,320 inside of them. It's not much you can do, but I 413 00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:01,200 think everyone is like deserving of a different answer. 414 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:05,360 Some people I will go full on complete, I will humiliate you 415 00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:08,720 mode and another time I will just literally laugh and just 416 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,760 walk away because it's just not worth my energy. 417 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,720 You know, if that's your if that's your thought, I'm not 418 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,200 here to convince you. I'm not here to convince you to 419 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,080 be a decent human being. That's not my job. 420 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:22,560 And this is another reason as well, guys, why I fucking 421 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,640 obviously, if you're in a safe space to do so, I lead with 422 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:29,360 telling new people that I meet that I have a lesbian podcast, 423 00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:33,240 I've got a girlfriend, etcetera. I lead with that because it's 424 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,920 gonna give me an answer as to whether I continue on that 425 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,240 conversation or not because if they react weirdly, I will 426 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:43,360 remove myself. I have no fucks given and people 427 00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:45,320 say you have no shame. It's like no, they have no 428 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,440 fucking shame. And they also just don't deserve 429 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,960 to be in my fucking company. That they don't deserve to be in 430 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,400 my company. They don't deserve to have that 431 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,200 conversation. They don't deserve to fucking be 432 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,440 in the air that I breathe. I will leave. 433 00:21:56,680 --> 00:22:00,880 I don't deal with that anymore because I find it pathetic. 434 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,120 And I think that especially when it comes to lesbians, I think 435 00:22:03,120 --> 00:22:09,240 that women are like forced and ingrained to appease men. 436 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:14,240 And so as soon as a man like says that like, oh, can I join 437 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,560 or whatever. I know a lot of women, 438 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:20,760 unfortunately, because they are trying to appease men and 439 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,600 because they don't want to upset them, they don't want to make it 440 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,440 awkward. They'll make a joke out of it 441 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:28,080 or, you know, they'll feel uncomfortable, but carry on that 442 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,000 conversation. And I think for me, I have to 443 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,720 look them up and down and be like, even if I was straight, 444 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,680 there is no fucking way I'd go near you. 445 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:39,640 People who say jokes when you come out are so little. 446 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:42,840 They're like little small men or a little small women. 447 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:44,680 But let's be real, it's usually men. 448 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,920 And also like circling back to the Trump thing, obviously it's 449 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:51,160 terrifying that there's our boys in school saying your body my 450 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:54,240 choice. But what I can't wait for, I 451 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:55,920 can't wait for the gay men to say it. 452 00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:00,480 I can't wait because if it's all men that are going to go around 453 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:04,160 saying your body my choice, please let it be the gay ones 454 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,160 and see what happens. OK? 455 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:09,320 You see how it feels when a big old burly gay comes your way 456 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:13,480 with a your body my choice Do you puny little man? 457 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:17,360 I don't understand why men believe that they have power 458 00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:20,200 over women's bodies. They certainly fucking don't. 459 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:24,800 You don't owe men shit. I mean people say not all men. 460 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:30,120 I can't be asked you know who you are if you're not that guy, 461 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,640 right? That I'm talking about may not 462 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:36,600 be not all men, but it is all men that are doing this shit. 463 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:40,440 OK. And unfortunately now there are 464 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:46,040 female supporters of Trump even with all of this anti female 465 00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:52,120 laws and they're pro-life. I'm pro-life, I'm pro-life. 466 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:56,520 I'm pro existing lives too. No, God, I'm not pro-life. 467 00:23:56,520 --> 00:24:01,320 Fuck, no, I don't No, I mean, like I'm, I know no, I'm 468 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:02,760 pro-choice. I'm pro-choice. 469 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:06,480 I'm pro-choice, but I'm pro-life for the person carrying that 470 00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:08,920 baby. I'm pro-life for the person that 471 00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:12,400 got fucking raped and they are now carrying a baby that they do 472 00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:15,440 they cannot categorically have. It will be trauma. 473 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:19,640 I'm pro-life for the women that are suffering with multiple 474 00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:24,280 years of abuse or they then get pregnant and then the the the 475 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:27,040 fetus is, is decaying inside of them. 476 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,040 And this recently happened in Georgia. 477 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,160 This recently happened in Georgia as a 28 year old woman 478 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,800 and she took Plan B, but it left some of the fetal composition 479 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,520 within her body and it started to cause an infection within her 480 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,960 body. So she went into the hospital in 481 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:46,440 Georgia, in Atlanta. They couldn't physically remove 482 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:50,480 that dead, decaying fetus inside of her. 483 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:53,080 So they waited and they waited and they waited until she got 484 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:57,040 sicker and sicker and sicker and then they performed the surgery 485 00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:59,400 and she died. And this is the reality that 486 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:03,240 sadly, we are now facing. This was a procedure that would 487 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:07,080 have been quite routine and these doctors would potentially 488 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,640 have faced 10 years in jail for performing it. 489 00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:12,400 And she has a six year old little boy that now doesn't have 490 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:15,840 a mom, a 28 year old. She's two years younger than me 491 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:19,880 and this is what you're after when you're going pro-life? 492 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:23,600 pro-life, Fuck off. Just fuck off. 493 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:27,040 Educate yourself, get some education. 494 00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,960 Why? Like also, why the fuck do you 495 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:32,200 care? Why do you care what other 496 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,840 people do about their body? Why do you care whether they are 497 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:38,600 bought a baby or not? So literally, it's the furthest 498 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,400 thing that has got to do with me. 499 00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:43,120 But yeah, I think, can you tell I'm fucking wound up today? 500 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:49,120 I just think that honestly, the education system needs a revamp, 501 00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:52,000 but it's not going to get it because Trump wants to ban a 502 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:55,480 load of books too, honey, a load of very important books. 503 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:58,600 But God, fucking hell, Freya, this is a depressing episode. 504 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,280 I'm sorry, guys, I am sorry. I think that I haven't I haven't 505 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:02,640 been in the best space this week. 506 00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:05,720 It's been a hard week for me. And I'm just trying to be honest 507 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:08,840 because I felt like I felt, I felt a little bit less alone 508 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:12,440 when I'm like sat here and I'm talking to you, I feel like I'm 509 00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:17,480 able to actually talk to people and, and I don't feel incredibly 510 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,440 judged. I think it's kind of easier that 511 00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:20,440 you're not sat in the room with me. 512 00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:23,280 I'm going to be honest. But it's, it's good. 513 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:27,320 It's good and it's therapeutic. And I promise, not every single 514 00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:28,400 episode is going to be depressing. 515 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,720 So if this is the first one that you're listening to, I'm sorry, 516 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,840 but I need to sometimes be fucking real. 517 00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:37,120 And sometimes we need to talk about the hardship and sometimes 518 00:26:37,120 --> 00:26:39,800 you need to be encouraged. Sometimes you need to hear 519 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,520 what's going on with people's lives because it's just real 520 00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:45,720 life. And I mean, I know that I, I 521 00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:50,200 find solace like hearing someone who I listen to normally, like 522 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,960 talk about their issues in their life and their mental health 523 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:57,200 struggles because I'm like, OK, so yeah, I, I'm really not 524 00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:59,640 alone. I know I put on the best front 525 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:02,040 ever. I know that people never guess 526 00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:05,280 that there's any mental health issues apart from being like 527 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,040 clinically insane. No, I, I think it's weird. 528 00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:10,640 It's funny because, yeah, I'm a very outgoing person. 529 00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:13,800 And so I think that there's this kind of stereotype that I, well, 530 00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:15,880 you don't really suffer from that. 531 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:17,440 And it's like, no babe, I do. I do. 532 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:21,160 And so it comes in all different shapes and sizes. 533 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:25,680 Guys, I didn't even fucking, I didn't even find a Horror Story 534 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:28,840 to read out because I'm literally a well, I will say one 535 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:32,400 thing though, guys, Oh my God. If you do have ADHD and you 536 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:37,360 suffer with like depression, take your meds or get prescribed 537 00:27:37,360 --> 00:27:41,360 some meds that are good at regulating emotions. 538 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:46,800 Because I didn't take it Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and I was in a 539 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:50,840 hole, a spiraling hole. I was literally like I couldn't 540 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,760 even walk on the Wednesday morning. 541 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:56,280 I took my pill that I remembered. 542 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:58,720 I went to go and get a coffee and like whilst I was going to 543 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:00,040 get a coffee. By the way, guys, this was a 544 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:03,040 struggle. I bumped into my friend whilst I 545 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:06,680 looked like something deranged. She looked at me like, Oh my 546 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,640 God, OK. And I'm like, yeah, I know. 547 00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:12,280 And then I went to go and get my coffee, came back still 548 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,520 depressed, tried to do some work. 549 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:20,520 And then it went like, Ding. I was like, oh, oh, oh, yeah, 550 00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:23,160 OK, that's better, that is better. 551 00:28:25,360 --> 00:28:27,680 And I was like, oh man, I'm a fucking idiot. 552 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,680 I actually am. I've just lost three days. 553 00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:34,720 I'm a fucking idiot. I cleaned my house, I went over 554 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:37,240 to Westfields, bought a new Hoover, picked up our new 555 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:41,160 phones. Oh my God, I could eat again. 556 00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:44,280 Christ, fuck, what a fucking idiot. 557 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:45,480 Anyway, we'll be doing that again. 558 00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:49,920 And yeah, I think, I don't know what I was thinking by not 559 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:51,280 taking them. It was stupid. 560 00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:55,960 It was dumb. But anyway, guys, speeds you 561 00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,000 say? Oh by the way, also God Jesus 562 00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,680 Christ, I did actually take my meds today. 563 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:02,800 I don't feel like they're working on the 22nd of this 564 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,840 month. We've got another lesbian pub 565 00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:07,840 night which I cannot wait for. The one last month was just a 566 00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:13,280 fucking hilarious Oh my God, and you guys bring it every single 567 00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:15,680 time. So if you want to come have a 568 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:17,960 look at the link in the bio 22nd. 569 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,520 It's on a Friday, which is great. 570 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,200 And also I'm going to pop in some links in there as well 571 00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:24,760 because like if anything I've said is like resonated with you. 572 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:27,800 Obviously I always advocate for therapy through better help, but 573 00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,560 also you feel that you really need that like severe help and 574 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,080 like right now, like emergency care. 575 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:35,040 I will put those links in there. So you have access. 576 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,960 I'm here for you reach out. I love talking about this kind 577 00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:42,840 of stuff and I promise you I'll be happier next time. 578 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:46,280 But I love you all and I'll speak to you next week. 579 00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:47,120 Bye.