1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:05,000 Hello lesbians guys, I have two guests of me today and yes, they 2 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:07,800 are my friends. One of them being Nat Traxel who 3 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:11,960 was on the podcast a few months ago where we discussed all 4 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,920 things insurance and out for 2026. 5 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:17,440 And we also have again, lip sing, bling bling lip sing. 6 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,760 The best thing about this episode is the fact that Nat 7 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:23,640 just turned up expecting to just take photos of me and any guests 8 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:25,080 that she thought was going to be on. 9 00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:26,280 And she said who are we getting on? 10 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:30,560 And I said you because it turns out I can't actually let anyone 11 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:34,080 know what they're doing in the right manner. 12 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:36,920 My text to me seemed very clear. Turns out it wasn't. 13 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:41,360 Poor girl is shocked, horrified, and now we have her in quite 14 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:44,680 literally the hot seat. So thank you, Nat so much for 15 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,640 coming on the Lesbian Suffer Club podcast once again and this 16 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:51,240 time in the Spotify studio. I love you think that everyone 17 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:52,320 gave now a round of. Applause. 18 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:57,200 I didn't know if I was going to be back and not in this setting, 19 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,640 my friends. Not in this setting. 20 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:02,000 Yeah, I walked in. It was kind of like a horror 21 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,239 film, you know, I, I thought they were just like joking. 22 00:01:04,239 --> 00:01:06,440 I was like, who's the guest? They were like you, baby girl. 23 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:09,280 And I was like, good one, who is the guest? 24 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:13,080 And it is me so. You looked as though we told you 25 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:16,520 we've just killed your mum. No, literally, it looked quite 26 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:18,840 dramatic actually, because the look of sheer shock. 27 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:21,400 Yeah, I had to. I say that I swore on Ziggy's 28 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:25,000 life just for you to believe me because you know my OCD is way 29 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,240 too strong to ever swear on my dog's life or anything. 30 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,600 I think the irony was I was just having coffee and I was talking 31 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,720 about being on the pod. I was like, yeah, I mean, it was 32 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:34,400 a great episode, but I don't think I was that good. 33 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,160 I think I really like, I'm not great at the like, I really 34 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,160 missed the brief. I started talking about line 35 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:42,680 bikes and, you know, Dairy Milk. I was like some angry 36 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:45,080 middle-aged woman, and yet here I am. 37 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,960 Well, babe, I'm just really happy to have you back on and 38 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:51,600 bamboozled or not, I'm glad that you still rose to the challenge. 39 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:52,640 And I think. That says a lot. 40 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,480 About your character. And judge your ass. 41 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,000 We'll get you. We'll get you a drink afterwards 42 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,720 to make up for it. I mean, that's all a girl can 43 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,280 dream of. So I mean, I'm going to pretend 44 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:02,600 that we weren't going to do that anyway. 45 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:03,920 Yeah. It's fine. 46 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:04,880 You know what? It's fine. 47 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:07,960 My glasses are on. I mean, there's glassness. 48 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:10,759 I'm ready. Yeah, and I thought there is no 49 00:02:10,759 --> 00:02:13,360 better person to have on than you for any kind of advice 50 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:17,200 sessions and we got you guys to write in some questions for us 51 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:20,760 to answer. So I think my most mindful and 52 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:22,880 smartest emotionally intelligent. 53 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,320 Friend, I wanted to see what she's doing now. 54 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:28,160 Very, very. Some people call them 55 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:29,320 manipulation. Some. 56 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:31,400 People call it nice, some people. 57 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:32,800 Call it manipulation. It's working. 58 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,040 I don't know. Blushing. 59 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:36,240 Yeah. Come on, let's talk. 60 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,000 Oh yeah. But before we get into that, 61 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,400 there's a couple of things that I wanted to talk about, and it 62 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,440 was things that I was talking to live about whilst we were 63 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:45,040 getting ready. One thing I wanted to broadcast 64 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:49,640 to the lesbians can you all start washing your your hands 65 00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:53,040 before fingering, please? Because I've noticed not in like 66 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:57,640 people that I'm sleeping with, but like a person, all of the 67 00:02:57,640 --> 00:03:01,760 people that I don't think it's something that's ever actually 68 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,160 discussed. Like girls, do you actually know 69 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:06,560 how awful it is to finger somebody without washing hands? 70 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,240 It's terrible. And that's why there's a lot of 71 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,560 like, BB and Thrash going around the world in the lesbian 72 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:13,520 community, because they're actually just not washing their 73 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,920 fingers. Why did we get on to this? 74 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:18,080 We were just doing our makeup and I can't remember how. 75 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:20,400 Were you doing your makeup after like being on the tube or 76 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:21,280 something? No. 77 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:23,840 No, it was. It was when one of my makeup 78 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,680 brushes fell on the floor recently and Anastasia came in 79 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,240 and flipped her actual shirt and I was like fair fucks, I should 80 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,200 not be putting a brush that's been on the floor on my face. 81 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:35,120 And then it got me thinking, stop fingering with dirty hands. 82 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:38,400 Yeah. The rule of thumb is for me it 83 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,720 depends on how weird you are with your hygiene. 84 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:43,840 If you wouldn't put your fingers in your mouth with the 85 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:46,760 cleanliness level, don't be fingering it. 86 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,200 Don't be using it to finger. Something no, I support this as 87 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,760 like as an OCD gully, you know, I think that's very. 88 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:55,320 It's not going to ruin the moment for me. 89 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:56,800 If you're like, bear with me one second. 90 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:58,160 I'm just going to go and wash my hands. 91 00:03:58,200 --> 00:03:58,920 Do you think? Yeah. 92 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,320 Was that the way that you say it? 93 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:04,320 Yeah, Yeah. 01 second then I go and wash my hands and I'm back 94 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,120 back in the zone. And if anything, you feel like 95 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:09,000 safer in that moment because like I think in my head as I'm 96 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,840 thinking, when was the last time you wash your hands? 97 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:12,840 Like, do you? Think that in the moment. 98 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,200 Yeah. How much of this is just on 99 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:18,360 mental illness? Well, a lot of it is based on 100 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:21,200 mental illness, but I think a lot of it is based on like, you 101 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:24,000 know, some, some bad situations I've been in anchors. 102 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,720 Yeah. I think it's a considerable 103 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,360 thing to do. Yeah, you also like give me NHS 104 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,120 vibes when you say that I felt very safe, like you were like 105 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:33,280 nurse free. I like I'm Yeah. 106 00:04:33,280 --> 00:04:36,360 And, you know, wash my hands. Yeah, I'm going to take care of 107 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,120 you here. Yeah, just bear with me. 108 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,560 I have to sanitize my fingers before penetrating. 109 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:40,960 You. Yeah. 110 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:43,000 Because a lot, like, terrible things can happen. 111 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:46,400 You know, one of my favorite, one not favorite, an interesting 112 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:50,320 court case was that someone was done for manslaughter because of 113 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:53,560 an injury that they had caused during fingering. 114 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:54,320 Shut up. Yeah. 115 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,680 What was the injury? Well, there was someone died 116 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:57,960 through fingering. Now I've got another fear. 117 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,560 Great. Well, I think there was like a 118 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:04,960 signet ring involved and there was a an injury that then I 119 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,960 believe that the victim got sepsis. 120 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,520 A sepsis. I was going to say sepsis. 121 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:11,120 Wasn't my like taught law course? 122 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:13,960 I was like, wait, hold up. That's terrifying. 123 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,920 Take off your signet rings. Yeah, I mean, that's a niche 124 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:19,520 problem, but also just take off rings in general I think is a 125 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,960 good rule of thumb. Oh God, I know. 126 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,760 What the fuck is up with that? Yeah. 127 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:27,440 Take your rings off. Do you take all your rings? 128 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,280 I'm just looking at your hands because you've got loads of. 129 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:31,280 Rings on. That's another thing that kind 130 00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:33,120 of destroys the mood slightly, but it's only on the. 131 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,680 Oh, it's only on the right hand. There you go. 132 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:37,320 It has to be done. Shove it straight under the 133 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:43,720 pillow, straight up the vagina as soon as I take them off. 134 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,880 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was the one thing that I 135 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,000 wanted to mention and the second thing I wanted to mention. 136 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:52,520 And I love how I'm sat here again with my sheehy loafers on 137 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,720 with the socks, but how the Michael Jackson movie has come 138 00:05:55,720 --> 00:06:00,360 out and I can't wait to see it. And as a long term, long time 139 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:05,120 Michael Jackson stand an apologist, can I just say you're 140 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,400 all fake? Because look at everyone now 141 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,560 loving Michael Jackson. We can't get a booking. 142 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:12,680 No, I'm not complaining, by the way, because I'm happy that, you 143 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,120 know, he's having his renaissance. 144 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:17,720 But you should have just always been Team Michael. 145 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,720 What about when he was alive and he was going through it? 146 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,640 Everyone demonized him. One other thing I was thinking 147 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:25,120 as well, because I constantly have like a conspiracy theory 148 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:27,400 hat on now. Have we noticed that not too 149 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:31,160 long before the Michael Jackson movie was announced, they 150 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:34,760 started to release evidence of how he was like basically 151 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:39,360 helping the kids from getting into situations with Jeffrey 152 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,840 Epstein and how he'd actually actively mentioned Jeffrey 153 00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:45,560 Epstein in interviews and also was kind of like going against 154 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:47,200 it pro Winfrey and all this kind of stuff? 155 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:50,760 I find it very funny timing that all of that came out before the 156 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:55,040 movie was then launched and released and announced. 157 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:59,000 And who's benefiting from the movie and are they the people 158 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,280 that were in the circle that probably got him killed? 159 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,800 Perhaps. So now it's like, I don't know, 160 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,160 I don't know, but I'm really excited to see it regardless. 161 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,760 I thought you were going to go yesterday with Anna. 162 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,440 It was sold out. Couldn't get booking crazy and 163 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,080 then we would like, oh, let's go Friday. 164 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:17,040 Can't no Absolutely gutted. And me and Anna are really going 165 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,480 to cause a ruckus in the cinema. As you should. 166 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:21,480 Yeah, he he, she devil was proud of. 167 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:22,880 No, I need to see that is it good? 168 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,840 Is it? I mean, it is. 169 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,000 It's like sweet and nostalgic and like feel good. 170 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:31,960 I spoke to Olivia about this the other day and she said but she 171 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:33,880 loves it was good. But she said there was a lot of 172 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:37,720 references to like modern day stuff like Instagram and like 173 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:42,120 likes and the digital world and she's like, wanted it to be a 174 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:45,400 bit more nostalgic. Yeah, I think at times that kind 175 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,240 of like worked. I think it was quite good. 176 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:51,160 Like obviously a lot of shit that went down then wouldn't be 177 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,000 like appropriate now. So they did like a tongue in 178 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,240 cheek when, you know, she was Miranda was saying something 179 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,120 like, you know, you can't, you can't say that anymore. 180 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,640 And she's. Like, well, now the film's 181 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:01,560 boring. I know, but she still kind of 182 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,160 says so. It's quite as well, yeah. 183 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:05,760 I wanna see that. They just say you can't say that 184 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:08,240 anymore when she says something. When she's already said. 185 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,600 It yeah, like that. No, like you can't, you can't 186 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:11,920 mention. That was their loophole. 187 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:15,040 Yeah, like it was quite funny in a clever loophole, but the one 188 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:18,800 that really annoyed me was in Practical Magic to the trailer 189 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,760 when they like mentioned Tinder and I'm like. 190 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,000 Oh no. That's too far. 191 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,080 They're like my Tinder bio and I'm absolutely not that film 192 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,880 means some. That film means so. 193 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:30,760 Much and if they mess that up and. 194 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:35,320 I have a fear that they already have like and and I also have to 195 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:38,280 say Joey King and Maisie Williams is the cast of the 196 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:39,400 kids. Why didn't they keep the 197 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,880 original cast? Joe, that one of them actually 198 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,840 reached out, Right. Big actresses I know. 199 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:45,440 Because Evan, Rachel would, Yeah. 200 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:48,560 I mean, maybe it's because she probably looks the same age as 201 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,240 Nicole and Sandra now. It's like a classic Hollywood. 202 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:55,320 They, they are practical magic themselves, but like the same 203 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,040 amount of time has supposed to have gone on. 204 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:59,600 So wouldn't it be more realistic that their kids at the age that 205 00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:01,440 they just would be now? Yeah. 206 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,160 And it's the fact that Evan Rachel Wood actually reached out 207 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:05,960 and was like, I'll even do a cameo. 208 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,720 And they said no. That's Dad, that's me. 209 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:10,520 Brilliant. Yeah, her and True Blood. 210 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:13,320 Also someone and I, I feel like you'll really appreciate this as 211 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:17,640 an artist and very visual. Someone did a TikTok. 212 00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:20,960 Basically, she's starting a petition for them to bring back 213 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:25,360 the old cinematic cameras so that that gives off that warm, 214 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,360 glowy, nostalgic feel. And they were saying if you're 215 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,480 going to do a sequel, film it with the same cameras that you 216 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:35,160 filmed it with the first time. And everyone is like, hard. 217 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,120 Agreed. They're like, bring back that 218 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:41,960 like magical glow and that grade and like not everything has to 219 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,480 be so HD. Yeah. 220 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:46,080 And it, you know, I saw that some of the posts and they were 221 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,720 like, it just looks like a commercial and it does. 222 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:51,040 It looks so clinical and like you're right. 223 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,800 So HD, it's like, I don't want to, I don't want to see. 224 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:58,120 Actually going to request this starts getting filmed on a 225 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:02,520 little broken film. Too many paws are being 226 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:03,720 witnessed now. No, but it's true. 227 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:07,400 I think it's, you really see the difference when they do a sequel 228 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:11,120 as well, because it's so sad. Yeah, it's so sad because it 229 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:14,080 just takes you off that world and it brings you to the modern 230 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,400 day world, which is very clinical. 231 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:19,920 And using words like Tinder and stuff and like, you know, it 232 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:23,040 just, it does take it away. I think that's a real shame. 233 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:26,120 I mean, I all hail Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock. 234 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:29,280 They can do no wrong in my eyes. And no doubt they're going to do 235 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,480 an amazing performance. But I also think it's such a 236 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:35,320 queer film, but practical magic. Yeah, it just is anything witchy 237 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,560 like immediately gay. Yeah, sorry. 238 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,640 Gay spot is Yeah, so gay. The Craft Gay gay. 239 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:44,960 Like so gay. OK, yeah, I love it and I, I 240 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,960 can't wait. But it was, it is a real comfort 241 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,680 movie to me. So I really hope that they just 242 00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:51,320 don't make it too commercialized. 243 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:52,800 And I have a fear that they're going to. 244 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,760 The colours look really muted as well. 245 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,880 They do. And I'm like, it's a, it's a 246 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,800 witchy, witchy film. Like what are you doing? 247 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:00,760 Just You 2 turning into movie Chris. 248 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,880 We should have our own podcast. It's literally just like movie. 249 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:07,560 Be critics as this game this bad very. 250 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:10,040 Minimal. Freya and I want to do our our 251 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:12,880 own little podcast in Freya's house in the creative room, and 252 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,880 it's just called What the fuck, Yeah. 253 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,280 I would listen. We literally sit down and we 254 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,600 only wear sunglasses and caps and we'll just go what the fuck. 255 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,600 I was going to sit down and be like on this week's episode of 256 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,280 What the fuck I think. That's A and just. 257 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:24,880 Talk about what the fuck's going on. 258 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:26,680 Yeah, because there's always something where I go. 259 00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:31,400 What the fuck? Always I'm in a constant state 260 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,120 of WTF, like all the time. It's fucking mental. 261 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,560 A great being on a constant state of what the fuck we got 262 00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:40,800 you guys to write in some messages so I will answer them 263 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,600 or will now that. You're experiencing the board in 264 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:48,680 live action. Sorry, Perry, the board, but 265 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:51,600 yeah, I think it's always good to have a board to bring your 266 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,880 problems to them. I got quite a few more here by 267 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,280 the way girls, so it's. Like, oh, I'm excited. 268 00:11:56,800 --> 00:12:00,200 The first question that I want us to answer, somebody said how 269 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,600 to deal with a homophobic environment. 270 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,800 Like it? Depends what. 271 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:08,560 Friends. Family. 272 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:12,200 School job. She just. 273 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,240 Girl. I know what you mean. 274 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:17,600 It's like a different approach to each one. 275 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,320 So I think that we go family first. 276 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:25,520 So if we have a homophobic environment in your family, what 277 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:29,960 is the best way that we would deal with that now knowing what 278 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:30,440 we know? I'm. 279 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,160 Going to be so annoying. And I'm like so much depends on 280 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:38,800 your age, your financial, like independence, like where you are 281 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,600 in the world because yeah. Yeah, because I feel like when I 282 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,600 came out and my mum was really homophobic, I couldn't just like 283 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:49,200 get up and move out like it was before I went to uni. 284 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,440 So it's kind of stuck there and it was a bit, it was a bit like. 285 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,080 Yeah, morning. But a lot of people like stay in 286 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:59,560 the closet until they, you know, hit that like 18 years old. 287 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:02,400 So what made you like, bite the bullet? 288 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:06,000 Or was it just circumstantial? Because I had a girlfriend at 289 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:09,280 the time and like, she kept coming out, like coming over to 290 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:11,880 stay. Obviously my mum didn't know the 291 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:14,280 girl had already come out and I'd already told my friends. 292 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:17,400 So I just thought my mum's going to be cool with this. 293 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:19,840 I'm a teller. Because she has gay friends too. 294 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:24,880 Yeah, I mean my mum, my mum's great now, but at the time it 295 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:26,680 was rough. It'd be rough out there. 296 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,720 I think I was. I was 21 when my mom found out. 297 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:32,400 My parents found out that I was gay. 298 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,520 I didn't still have the financial freedom, though, to 299 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:38,480 move out, and I didn't really know what the first step of even 300 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,680 kind of doing that really looked like. 301 00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:46,200 And I threw my mom a surprise birthday party. 302 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:49,960 Yeah. For like her birthday. 303 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:52,520 Wait, how did you come out? I'm confused. 304 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:53,320 I. Come out. 305 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,120 I was in the trenches of the coming out. 306 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:58,160 She wasn't speaking to me. I threw her a surprise birthday 307 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,880 party that I paid for. Insane. 308 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:06,280 However, it did work. Yeah, when in a homophobic. 309 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:10,200 Place, throw a party. I think for me it was like a 310 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:15,320 gesture and it was out of sheer panic and it was out of a lack 311 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:17,440 of acceptance and I wanted to feel loved again. 312 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,840 So I obviously did something that I knew that my mum would 313 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:25,120 like, which is attention. But I would also say in any 314 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:28,920 situation is just to like stand your ground within yourself. 315 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:33,400 But getting angry never normally fixes the situation. 316 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:37,320 As much as we are allowed to be angry, hate telling people that 317 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:39,800 they can't be because of course you're going to be angry like 318 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,640 you're getting hated for who you are. 319 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,560 But the way to approach it is never anger. 320 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:48,680 And it's standing in your confidence within yourself and 321 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,400 kind of we find ways of making ourselves safe. 322 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,520 But like you said, you know, if you can, if you know that you 323 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,080 are in a very heavily homophobic family. 324 00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:00,400 I know this isn't the advice that maybe I should give, but 325 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:04,880 wait until you are in a position where you can move out before 326 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:08,280 you come out because it could be potentially very dangerous as 327 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:10,640 well to live like physically within the house. 328 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,360 And you don't want to make yourself like you're homeless, 329 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:13,880 you know, and. I agree. 330 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:17,400 I think in in a utopia or hopefully one day the future, 331 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:18,920 you know, that won't be the case. 332 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:21,680 But I think there's a lot of, I think at a certain time, there's 333 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,360 a lot of like pressure to be like, you must come out and 334 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:25,920 things. And then sometimes it's, it 335 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:29,200 might not be the best for you right in that moment to come 336 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,480 out. And it's like, you just have to 337 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:34,400 put your health and your mental health and your safety fast. 338 00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:37,880 And yes, it should be all like, you come out and you're accepted 339 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:40,720 and everything's fine. But if you're like, look, I got 340 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:44,360 one year left in this house and I'm off to university and then I 341 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,800 can be myself a wise star. The part why make that life so 342 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,880 much harder, unfortunately. But what this what this listener 343 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:54,680 might have said, though, they might already be out and be in 344 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:56,280 that homophobic environment environment. 345 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:57,720 That's one thing that I'm thinking of. 346 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,760 So one thing that I would say is find your safety. 347 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,280 So like find queer people that you can be friends with. 348 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,640 You know, you kind of create your own family. 349 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,240 Also, of course, like listen to podcasts like this and other 350 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,760 queer things and watch queer characters and like 351 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,800 representation. I think that all of those things 352 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,640 will help you through that really difficult time. 353 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,720 Or whether that be if it's at work and you can't quit your 354 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,640 job, then again, having that same thing, I don't think that 355 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,000 anyone should ever put up with hate those. 356 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,520 So I'm sure you can find another job. 357 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:28,200 Like, shut the fuck out if they're your friends, dump your 358 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:29,760 fucking friends. Get new friends. 359 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:31,560 I'm sorry. You don't have to be stuck to 360 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,360 the friends that you have. Yeah, you might love them. 361 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:34,680 They're not good people. Sorry. 362 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:35,800 They're. Not for you. 363 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,040 They're not for you. And like, if they're going to be 364 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,360 homophobic, they're also going to have a load of other shit 365 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,280 that like you're clearly not going to align with. 366 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:44,720 They're not going to be your people. 367 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:48,600 And if it's your family, annoying but. 368 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,480 Hopefully in time it'll get better and. 369 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:53,400 Hopefully in time and like I'm proof, you're proof that over 370 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,280 time it does get better and it can get better. 371 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,200 But I understand that for some people, they don't have that 372 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,360 luxury. And that fucking kills me 373 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:03,960 because I just think how awful that must be to be in that 374 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:06,839 position, you know? But it doesn't mean that you 375 00:17:06,839 --> 00:17:09,400 have to be alone. I think the main killer of all 376 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,240 of these things is like feeling so alone. 377 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:15,359 And maybe I should start like hiring myself out to come to 378 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:17,839 situations. I would actually love it. 379 00:17:17,839 --> 00:17:18,839 You'd be like. Brilliant at that. 380 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,079 Be like. Go to a family. 381 00:17:20,319 --> 00:17:23,040 Hope, yeah, but like I want to come up can you come hire a 382 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:24,760 freighter that. Would be brilliant. 383 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,400 Oh, come along and be like, yeah, she's gay. 384 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:29,400 Yeah. And what so am I? 385 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:34,120 Also, you are very strong so. Phoebe, like, do you want an arm 386 00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:36,680 wrestle? Yeah, I'm actually just flexing 387 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,360 my muscle now. I've got like 1. 388 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:41,520 It's like full Popeye. Oh yeah, just just the one. 389 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,720 Don't worry about it. One needs No, I think that's 390 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:44,360 really good. Advice. 391 00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:45,560 Yeah. Don't let it. 392 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,480 Don't let the. Don't let the buses get you 393 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:50,240 down. Mic Drop. 394 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:52,640 Did you ever used to like, read Agony Arts? 395 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,720 Back in the day on like in like magazines. 396 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,160 Yeah. Love them. 397 00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,920 I don't know why I was so invested like as a as a youth, 398 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,280 an 8 year old, I was like, what would I do in a divorce? 399 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,040 I was like, really great. Really. 400 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,760 Like I must not. Sure I could do the the the 401 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,280 micro cheating one. I just said like. 402 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,560 That OK. Someone said the micro cheating 403 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,360 debate. My girlfriend says flirting 404 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,880 doesn't count as cheating because it's just vibes. 405 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:19,400 She's replying to girls on Instagram with her eyes and come 406 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,840 over then jokes. Am I being uptight or is she 407 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,000 taking the piss? Dump. 408 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:28,960 I I think the board are going to disagree on this one. 409 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:36,320 Okay, replying to stories with girls with flirty emojis I think 410 00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:38,720 is showing intention A. 100%. Right. 411 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,840 If you're doing it to your friends, totally fine. 412 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,800 If you're doing it to people that you don't know, I think 413 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,240 that that's suspicious. I do. 414 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,280 I think that it's totally fine to say like, wow, that's 415 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:49,600 beautiful. You're useful. 416 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:52,160 Liking photos. I don't give a fuck about that. 417 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:55,560 Like as many photos as you want flirt with people, that's also 418 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,760 fine. As long as I'm aware that like 419 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:01,440 that's kind of within your nature rather than just being 420 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:04,920 outwardly trying to get someone and also jokey come over text, 421 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:09,440 no. That one, that one's not great. 422 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,920 I mean, come on. Yeah. 423 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,280 I mean, I will preface this. I think it's like whatever you 424 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:18,560 decide in your dynamic is considered cheating. 425 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:20,240 That's it. I know some people are very, 426 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,400 very, very militant. Others have a more laissez faire 427 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,480 approach. So it's kind of, I don't think 428 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:29,560 that's like A1 shoe fits all approach, but I think yeah. 429 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:32,360 So it really does depend personally. 430 00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:35,760 So if you vocalize like, hey, I'm not OK with that, then your 431 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:36,880 girlfriend shouldn't be doing that. 432 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,400 I do agree with that. Like there are boundaries and I 433 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,640 think that falls into a reasonable boundaries. 434 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:46,120 Well, it's not like you are looking at that girl, but I do, 435 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:50,800 I do think that it can get a bit slippery and people can be 436 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,840 acting out of a place of possessiveness and insecurity 437 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:57,280 rather than a healthy boundary. And then I think it's really 438 00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:03,520 hard to decipher where that's like that line is because as, as 439 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:06,080 I say, it is subjective and it depends on the couple. 440 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,240 But sometimes I don't know, sometimes I hear other people's 441 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,440 roles and I'm like, I know, different strokes for different 442 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:14,560 folks, but my God like. Have a little flirt, you know, I 443 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,960 mean, I think I think flirting is like something it's very. 444 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,720 Human it's. Fun and you should exercise it. 445 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:24,280 It's like a muscle and I think it's a wonderful thing to flirt 446 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:26,240 with. No intention, you know. 447 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,960 That's my issue is the intention right? 448 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:33,400 So like send as many emojis as you want if your intentions are 449 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,720 pure, but I don't. I think it gives off an 450 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:40,240 impression though, to the person receiving it that you're DTF, 451 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:44,400 like you're done to fuck. So I think that yeah, like I 452 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,400 said, like flirting for me fine. And I think that that is a very, 453 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:50,560 like you said, like healthy boundary to have that if your 454 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:54,000 partner and you're that type of person, you love doing emojis 455 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:57,080 and come over then text, you love it, but your partner is 456 00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,520 like that actually makes me feel a bit like shit when you do 457 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:00,840 that. Like it's fine to be flirty, 458 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,360 etcetera, but you know that you're giving off like this 459 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:07,360 impression then, but surely you should also like it's not 460 00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:09,960 impertinent that you do send those emojis. 461 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:13,640 It's not a more death situation. It's not necessarily even a part 462 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,720 of your character. It would obviously depend if I'm 463 00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:19,160 being outrageously flirtatious and being inappropriate, then 464 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,720 Fairfax that she can say that. But if you're just picking up on 465 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:26,240 my general way of being that like, you know who I am from 466 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:30,600 like day one, then I would need to say, OK, there's no intention 467 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,040 there. That's genuinely just who I am. 468 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,520 So like that, it's such a personality traitor. 469 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,640 And I do think when you meet someone and if you've you're 470 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,800 like, wow, that person is so electric and charismatic and 471 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,040 magnetic and she's such a flirt. How brilliant, you know? 472 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:46,200 And then you get together and you're like, oh, she's flooding. 473 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,400 And you're like, yeah, that's what you signed up for, baby. 474 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,920 Like that's in the product description. 475 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:54,600 You know, I think it's, you have to kind of know if you're 476 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:58,240 capable of being with someone that's flirty with other people. 477 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:01,160 Or if that's because I know some people, they love it when like 478 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:02,800 their partner flirts with others. 479 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,720 It's like or when their partners like flirted with others and 480 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,600 they're like why would I want to be with someone that no one's 481 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,360 flirting with? Oh, I want everyone to want my 482 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:11,480 girlfriend. What do you mean? 483 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:15,520 It's such a compliment when they do that and it's such a like the 484 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:18,040 worst thing is I think when someone walks up to someone and 485 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:19,560 it's just starts talking to them and they're like, I have a 486 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:22,440 boyfriend, I have a girlfriend. Like like immediately like also 487 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:26,160 like rude. Like don't put like presume I'm 488 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:29,680 making a move. But yeah, I think there is a 489 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,840 fine line, but also I don't know. 490 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:36,280 It's it's a tricky one because I I feel in. 491 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,400 Like. Autonomy with people. 492 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,960 I think if I were to see my girlfriend sending like heart 493 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,520 eye emotions and stuff, I don't think I'd even really bring it 494 00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:45,840 up. But I'd be a bit like, yeah, but 495 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,000 I don't think me and my character would really bring 496 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,960 that up. But if I saw like a come over 497 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:51,640 then text I'd be like OK what the fuck is that? 498 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:53,440 Yeah. And I think the main crux of it 499 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,680 is if you vocalize something makes you unhappy, and if that 500 00:22:56,680 --> 00:23:00,000 person he dismisses that, that's weird like. 501 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,640 Yeah. That's not a good partner, so 502 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:06,360 for you agreed. So what's your take on the micro 503 00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:07,080 cheating? What? 504 00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:10,600 What do you think as the most jealous one out of the board? 505 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,200 Hi, I am. Aren't I the most jealous one? 506 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,640 Yeah. I just wouldn't like it. 507 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:22,040 Like I just wouldn't like if it. If it was to their friends, 508 00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:24,520 fine, whatever. But if I saw them do it 509 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:29,480 continuously like like flame emojis, heart eye emojis come 510 00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:31,840 over and I'd be like, what is going on? 511 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,800 That's not just vibes. Especially consecutively to the 512 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:39,880 same person. And also I'd want to see what 513 00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,240 the person receiving it as replying saying. 514 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,480 Imagine they're not even replying and they just keep 515 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:45,040 doing it. They're. 516 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,960 Like, well, that's embarrassing. Yeah, I feel like that's just 517 00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,920 also beyond flirting. I feel like that's like pursuing 518 00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:52,200 someone, which I think is a very. 519 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:53,280 Different. By that point I've gotten the 520 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,440 ick because the other other person hasn't responded. 521 00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:57,880 Yeah. And then I'm like, oh. 522 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,040 Yeah, exactly. I was like, God, you look like a 523 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,200 loser. I don't want to be with a loser. 524 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:03,320 Sorry. See you later. 525 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,280 Yeah, Nah. I just no, I wouldn't like. 526 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:10,440 It. I'm too sensitive. 527 00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:14,440 I was about to say your star sign but it's the same as mine. 528 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,240 Yeah, must be different moons, right? 529 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,880 What are you I? Have to check my costar, bear 530 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:24,560 with me. I'm a Capricorn Scorpio moon and 531 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:26,360 then Capricorn Capricorn Capricorn. 532 00:24:26,360 --> 00:24:27,440 Capricorn. Capricorn. 533 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,800 That's my sister sign. Well, our sister sign. 534 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:34,120 My my Moon's Capricorn. Oh, oh, that. 535 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:39,840 My son, my my son is my son's Cancer, my Moon's Capricorn and 536 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:43,640 my rising Sagittarius. Riddle me that then who knows? 537 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,880 OK, I'm just damaged. I. 538 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,040 Think it could also just be like past experiences shape us into 539 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:53,040 who we are, right? And it doesn't necessarily. 540 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:58,520 Yeah, not to discredit, I guess psychology and experiences. 541 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,760 Yeah, I'll do it. Quite a few that have just come 542 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:03,000 through. Oh, fun. 543 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,640 Unrequited love, constantly falling for friends and having 544 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:10,840 limerance. Damn girl limerance be bad. 545 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:13,560 Yeah, just. Talk to me about it. 546 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:16,400 Sucks. I think it sucks. 547 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:22,880 Limerance probably feels more powerful than love and is more 548 00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:26,720 dangerous, but will not last as long. 549 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:31,760 And once the limerance has been realized, not just by being like 550 00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:35,880 oh I realize this is limerance once the reality sets in and 551 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:37,880 that limerance will then just magically go away. 552 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,400 Which is quite fantastic really. But. 553 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:43,240 Is it not a good thing? No, no, that's good. 554 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:45,480 No limerance. Oh, you think it's a good thing 555 00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,960 this is? You're kind of like fantasising 556 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:49,120 someone in your head, aren't you? 557 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:51,600 Being like, oh, we could be this and this is. 558 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:53,440 And if it's like never going to happen, then it's like, oh. 559 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:58,120 That's like a crush, no? It's it's more intense than a 560 00:25:58,120 --> 00:25:59,240 crush. Yeah, like obsessive. 561 00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:01,800 Yeah, OK. Yeah, like it is quite obsessive 562 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:05,000 and you've kind of it, it feels as if in that moment that 563 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,800 they're actually like in love with this person, but they're 564 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:11,640 not so. And it's not the honeymoon 565 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:13,720 stage, it's something different. No, no, not even the honeymoon 566 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:15,560 stage. It is like you really don't know 567 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:18,360 this person very well and you've brought up this kind of like 568 00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:22,960 image and fantasy and like just, it's just like a mixed bag of 569 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:27,080 like desire and fantasy and everything you know that it 570 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,120 makes your body think that you're in love and. 571 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,840 And this person keeps having that, but it's unrequited. 572 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:33,280 And it's unrequited too. And. 573 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,760 I feel like it could be quite fun if it's quite, can it not? 574 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,440 Usually the limerence happens when it is unrequited, when it's 575 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:41,720 like, not real really, do you know what I mean? 576 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,160 So like, if that person were to like her back, how would she 577 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:47,440 really feel, you know? How do you deal with unrequited 578 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:51,240 love or limits? I'm required to anything like 579 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:56,480 it's, it's fun. It's not fun, I can say that. 580 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,720 For free that much. Yeah. 581 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:02,440 I think it also just like, hijacks your brain, like by the 582 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:04,600 terms of it, like your neurotransmitters are like, Oh 583 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:08,000 my God, intermittent reinforcements, like a little 584 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:12,240 chase, a little self worth at the end of this carrot for the 585 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:15,720 donkey that is, you know, me literally. 586 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:19,440 I think, yeah, it's a nightmare because I think once you can't 587 00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:23,440 have something, it puts it probably on a bit of a pedestal 588 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:25,760 and makes you chase it more. Whereas if you had it, you'd be 589 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,080 like. Think it like consumes your mind 590 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:29,000 as well. How do we? 591 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,040 Ruin a person that you have limerance over like what do we 592 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,520 do? Do you start imagining them in 593 00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:37,520 like really it worthy scenarios? Yeah, Yeah. 594 00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:40,960 I think so. Like or just write down every 595 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,800 like floor. Yeah, yeah. 596 00:27:44,120 --> 00:27:46,480 Or like imagine them straining on the toilet. 597 00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:49,720 That will do it. Yeah, that works. 598 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,920 I think. Do you know what I think my mom 599 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,680 actually said something similar to me once when I was obsessed 600 00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:58,640 with someone when I was a teenager. 601 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:02,000 She's like, she's like, you need to, you need to get over this. 602 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,240 Like, imagine, imagine him shitting good. 603 00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,880 And I was like, oh, God. And it worked. 604 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:09,640 So he doesn't shit. He would be like, yes, perfect. 605 00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:13,600 Yeah, I think, I think that's a really good way of getting over 606 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,640 a crush quite fast, actually. We're not really getting over 607 00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:18,080 it, but kind of like putting them in the reality box, right? 608 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:20,120 Do you know what I mean? But I think. 609 00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:22,320 The friend. Thing, the friend thing is 610 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:26,440 difficult because it's like maybe you are craving a level of 611 00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:30,000 intimacy from friendships that you're, you know, could actually 612 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,600 be normal. Like I am very intimate with my 613 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:35,120 friends and we have sex all the time. 614 00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:39,360 No, but that's true with me and all my friends, always very 615 00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:41,880 intimate, like I'll happily like kiss my friends on the lips and 616 00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:43,320 like all this kind. Of stuff we were holding hands 617 00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:45,680 in the street we were holding. Hands in the street today 618 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,360 because I'm like, I just want some physical touch, you know, 619 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,400 And like, I'm just with touches with yeah, with touches and 620 00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:52,720 like, I'm only friends with touches. 621 00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:56,640 OK. But I think, you know, is there 622 00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:58,960 a level of intimacy there that is actually normal? 623 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:03,360 And are you confusing that to with like crushing on them when 624 00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:06,560 maybe you don't understand your sexuality to the point? 625 00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:10,160 Because also there's another thing with being gay is that 626 00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:14,840 sometimes you'll feel like almost like a predator being 627 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,560 like close with your friends and you're like, oh, maybe I maybe 628 00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:20,080 this is actually a crush because I don't even know what that line 629 00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:22,080 is with my friends. And like, I'm really getting in 630 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:25,200 my head now because I don't trust myself to not have 631 00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:28,120 feelings for someone that is maybe like beautiful, has a 632 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:30,800 personality that I like, even though they're my friend. 633 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:32,840 Yeah, I think it is also confusing. 634 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,280 Like, you know, that whole in general, when you're friends 635 00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:38,600 with a bunch of gay people and you're gay, that probably is 636 00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:42,200 this like friendship or flirting element, which I think you 637 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:46,880 probably as you as you age, you become more, you know, able to 638 00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:48,800 sense. But maybe it's also that. 639 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:51,840 And then it's like a self fulfilling prophecy where you're 640 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:54,200 constantly falling for people who don't like you back. 641 00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:57,680 So you're like, well, you know. Yeah, and you keep speaking into 642 00:29:57,680 --> 00:29:59,560 the universe. Oh, I just keep liking people 643 00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:01,920 who don't like me back. So therefore you just. 644 00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:03,120 Yeah, the self fulfilling prophecy. 645 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:06,240 You just keep doing it time and time again because you now 646 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:09,280 believe that this is like your trope as a person. 647 00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,760 Like this is your thing, You know, I don't know. 648 00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,400 What do you think, love? How do you find being really 649 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,640 attracted and fancy me so much? And how do you measure it? 650 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:22,760 How do you cope? So it's so hard, so hard. 651 00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:25,840 I see you every day. I'm just yearning for you. 652 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:31,880 Great beyond I think, I think, I can't imagine like being deeply 653 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,560 in love with your friend, like someone like you're really close 654 00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,640 to and seeing them all the time. Like I'd really struggled with 655 00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:40,000 that because I'd be like, what is going on here? 656 00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:44,080 Maybe you just have to like sleep with someone else just to 657 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:45,720 get it out of your head. True. 658 00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:49,200 Or maybe just like friend zone yourself really. 659 00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,680 Hard to have a good talking to yourself. 660 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:55,400 Yeah, like friend zone yourself. Like if you can see that they're 661 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:58,960 really not interested in you, start making these conversations 662 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:03,080 with your friends quite vulgar and vile and conversations you 663 00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:04,920 never had with somebody that you actually fancied. 664 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,880 Throw yourself into the deep end, start to see maybe more of 665 00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:09,800 who they really are. And it might just. 666 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:11,280 Change. But I think you probably need to 667 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,400 like say to yourself at some point, like if it's quieted that 668 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:15,920 night, there's nothing you can do. 669 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:17,680 No, it's not going to happen. So you've got to and. 670 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,680 It's painful, but yeah, they're not your person. 671 00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:24,440 I think also there is a certain personal state of mind that 672 00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:27,440 makes you more susceptible to chasing that type of person. 673 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:31,920 And often it's like if you're lacking a certain sense of self 674 00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:34,640 maybe or you like want that validation, like going on a date 675 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,240 with someone that's like, I really like you. 676 00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:38,920 It's not going to hit the same as like the chase. 677 00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:42,360 Like I will make them love me and I will win them over and 678 00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:44,920 then they will love me and then I will love me and it's like. 679 00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,320 They've tied their worth to that person now. 680 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:50,920 They've done it now. You haven't done it now and 681 00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:53,840 there is no, there's no light at the end of the tunnel because if 682 00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:55,760 they start liking, you'll be like, well, why would they like 683 00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:57,720 me? Like let's go for another 684 00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:01,120 person. So yeah, do self work Friendzone 685 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:02,960 them. Yeah, I think, I think 686 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,520 ultimately the self work becomes a big part of that because 687 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:08,600 you've got to think, why do I keep having these this, this 688 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:11,360 intense feeling of luminance for people that don't even like me 689 00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:13,200 back? Yeah, you're OK there, Lev. 690 00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:15,480 Yeah. So you did this thing with the 691 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:17,160 eyes? I know, but I think it's just 692 00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:19,280 honestly it's just the advance crash. 693 00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,840 Oh yeah, don't know this. Is delicious delicious snack 694 00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:25,400 that you guys are having. The ADHD medication. 695 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:28,520 Come to Mama. Do you know what? 696 00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:30,880 Once I have a beer, it'll be fine. 697 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:34,800 Somebody said I'm a baby gay. Do I stay with the first girl 698 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,440 I've seriously dated or explore? Am I missing out? 699 00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:38,960 Explore. Explore. 700 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:43,200 What do you think? Why have you paused? 701 00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:46,360 Well I was going to say grass isn't always greener too like. 702 00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:48,280 Well, you can come back. Yeah, you can go back. 703 00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,880 OK, OK. We leave the relationship with a 704 00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:53,800 foot in the door like the toxic girls we are. 705 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:55,920 This is. You got to go and see the world 706 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:57,600 and then realize your hometown's the best. 707 00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:00,160 Like that's the plot. That is the plot of the movie of 708 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:03,280 many, many movies. But I think it's dangerous, the 709 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:07,680 1st girl, yeah, because you are going to tie all the emotions 710 00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:11,640 that you feel towards her and like, make them synonymous with 711 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:13,840 her. Like, you know, it's not the 712 00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:16,080 novelty of the experience. You'll be like, no, this is 713 00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:17,720 love. This is this is her. 714 00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:18,880 It's like, no babes, you're just gay. 715 00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:22,080 And you've been like, dating men before, you know, like, it's 716 00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:26,000 really dangerous because if you don't go elsewhere, I think she 717 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,680 can hold a lot of power. But she's nice. 718 00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:31,280 Fabulous. Yeah, I think if you're already 719 00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:32,880 having the question, should I score? 720 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:34,360 That's the answer. Yeah. 721 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,920 Because if yeah, if you weren't thinking that, you'd just be 722 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:38,720 happy. To and I remember having that 723 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:43,480 feeling as well, you know, like should I explore like from my 724 00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:47,440 first female relation think it's important, you know, explore. 725 00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:51,520 I've explored I've done many in exploration. 726 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,160 I've done Dora the Explorer horror, the explorer, so brave 727 00:33:54,560 --> 00:34:00,000 or the explorer is brilliant, but I think that I needed so 728 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:03,040 much of that in order to grow into the person that I am today. 729 00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:05,600 And I say the same thing all the time. 730 00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:07,840 If you truly are meant to be with somebody, I really don't 731 00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:09,360 think that that's ever going to go away. 732 00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:13,400 People come back into your life, you know when the moment is 733 00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:16,239 right and for you to maybe like receive them again and them to 734 00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:18,600 receive you. I don't think you know unless 735 00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:22,639 you've done something insanely heinous to somebody that that 736 00:34:22,639 --> 00:34:26,159 ever, you know, really changes. I think that you need to go and 737 00:34:26,159 --> 00:34:28,560 explore your life and otherwise you're just going to be thinking 738 00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:32,360 what if forever I? Will say that maybe maybe I was 739 00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:35,159 too quick to say explore because like if the relationship is 740 00:34:35,199 --> 00:34:38,159 really brilliant and you know everything is going right and 741 00:34:38,159 --> 00:34:41,800 your only inkling to leave is like, oh, should I explore? 742 00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:44,400 I think I've actually come across a few couples that are 743 00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:48,440 like one of them is a baby gay and the others like go off and 744 00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:52,560 explore like within the remits of our relationship like you 745 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:53,840 could. Also have a conversation about 746 00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:55,360 it. You never know, you might just 747 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:58,680 say, look, this is my first ever relationship in this space. 748 00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:01,600 And it doesn't mean that I don't love you, but I have this like 749 00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:04,200 urge within me that like, I don't want to lose you. 750 00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:07,000 But I also need to explain that has happened like quite a few 751 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,440 times. And maybe might be best to have 752 00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:11,200 a conversation like that with like a couple therapist, 753 00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,200 depending on like how long you've been together, like, you 754 00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,400 know, and have someone who can kind of guide that for you. 755 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:17,760 Because I do think that that's also a really difficult 756 00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:20,440 situation to put yourself into or conversation to have. 757 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:23,120 But again, that comes with privilege and money and all this 758 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:25,880 different stuff. So yeah, I would just say 759 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:28,360 explore, but you can do it in many ways. 760 00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:30,960 Yeah. Because like, like I said, the 761 00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,560 grass isn't always greener as well, though there is, I do 762 00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:35,480 think that it's such like a human nature thing to be like, 763 00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:36,520 what else? What else? 764 00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:38,400 What else? And always feel like you're 765 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,800 missing out on something. And it's like you're not honey, 766 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:44,120 you know, like odds are you're not missing out. 767 00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:45,880 And if you've got someone who like you're in love with, then 768 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:47,400 they're in love with you. Like that's one of the most 769 00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:48,640 beautiful things that you can have, so. 770 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:50,680 Amen. Amen to that stuff. 771 00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:54,600 So true. Gut feeling. 772 00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:57,640 Nothing is technically wrong, but I have this constant gut 773 00:35:57,640 --> 00:35:58,600 feeling. Something's off. 774 00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:01,200 Do you trust your intuition in relationships or can anxiety 775 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,360 trick you? Oh wait, did wait, did she say 776 00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:07,080 nothing's wrong? Nothing's wrong, but there's 777 00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:09,160 something in her gut that's saying something. 778 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:10,680 'S off. Always trust your gut. 779 00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:14,120 Always. Trust your gut, but anxiety can 780 00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:17,280 be tricks on you, as can OCD. Don't we know it that track so? 781 00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:22,560 Oh yeah, yeah. It's it's hard. 782 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:27,840 Maybe maybe that's just, maybe just be open and say to your 783 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:32,120 partner like, hey, I know nothing's wrong, but I'm feeling 784 00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:34,040 a certain type of way. Maybe she just needs some 785 00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:36,960 reassurance that like, you know. But then they could also take 786 00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,720 that wrong because imagine you're like a great partner and 787 00:36:39,720 --> 00:36:41,560 you do everything and then someone's like. 788 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:46,120 So I actually don't really trust you fully. 789 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,160 I don't know, I. Feel like a lot of the time 790 00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:52,680 though your gut doesn't lie. Like my guts told me in so many 791 00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:55,080 situations when something was off and the worst thing I ever 792 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,200 did was ignore it. I actually agree and there was 793 00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:59,440 no signs. Intuition and you will figure 794 00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:03,680 out with age the difference between intuition and anxiety 795 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:05,480 because they do feel a bit different. 796 00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:08,240 They I'm team trust gut as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 797 00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:11,280 And maybe, yeah, try and try and see is this anxiety or is this 798 00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,520 gut like maybe do some tests, There's probably a test online 799 00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:15,800 to be like, is this your gut feeling or is that OCD? 800 00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:17,200 Like BuzzFeed test? Sure. 801 00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:22,440 Yeah, because like, especially like female intuition is crazy. 802 00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:24,760 Oh yeah. Like it's bad, the amount of 803 00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:25,840 things. Yeah, all. 804 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,640 Comes back to witches. It all comes back to the. 805 00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:31,560 Witch sense it's like how did I do you see that reel, which was 806 00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:34,040 like how I found out and it's just like waking up in the night 807 00:37:34,240 --> 00:37:37,680 with your eyes shooting open. Wow, I know. 808 00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:40,480 Really I didn't see I'm on witch talk you guys. 809 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,800 Wow, I need to. Go on witch talk, I think yeah. 810 00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:47,360 I'm just on tarot talk. Still, it doesn't leave. 811 00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:49,840 No this is great, comparing yourself to her ex. 812 00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:52,600 Her ex is hotter than me. Like objectively I can't stop 813 00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:54,560 comparing myself. It's making me insecure in ways 814 00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:56,200 I've never felt before. How do I get over that? 815 00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,840 That might be just you saying that she's hotter than you. 816 00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,120 Yeah, I would. I would say the same thing as 817 00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:04,680 well. Yeah, objectiveness, I realise 818 00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:10,800 it doesn't really exist. And yeah, the more I like shoot 819 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,920 people in photography. By the way, she's a 820 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:15,600 photographer. I'm not a serial killer. 821 00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:18,080 Yeah. Just claim the more I realized 822 00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,880 that because I think I had a very kind of analytical 823 00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:23,800 approach, I was like that's, you know, this is what beauty is and 824 00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:26,240 etcetera, etcetera. But I've had people like 825 00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:30,400 genuinely, hand on heart, look me in the eye and say I think 826 00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:31,840 Angelina Jolie is not attractive. 827 00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:35,120 There you go. And that's when I realized I was 828 00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:38,680 like, holy, he really Is it really? 829 00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:40,400 Is the beholder. It really is. 830 00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:44,600 And also devil's advocate, maybe she is hotter than you but she 831 00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:50,400 might smell or be a terrible person or not really be funny or 832 00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:53,800 is arrogant and selfish. Like it's so cliche to be like 833 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:56,680 looks on everything but. It's true, it's so easy to 834 00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:58,960 compare yourself to people, but I think maybe you just need to 835 00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:02,560 remember like your partners with you, not the X. 836 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:06,840 Comparison thief of joy, but it's it is difficult. 837 00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:10,280 I would also say as well that the way in which you are with 838 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,600 someone makes you way more attractive or least attractive. 839 00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:16,400 So she might look back at her ex and actually see her as like an 840 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:20,280 ugly person. I genuinely, genuinely changes 841 00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:25,840 the way that I look at someone. Once I've been witness to their 842 00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:29,240 bad behaviour or like who they are, suddenly that person is no 843 00:39:29,240 --> 00:39:30,760 longer hot. And I was like, God, I used to 844 00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:32,600 think they were hot. And they're like objectively 845 00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:35,640 like a hot person. As well, like when you fancy 846 00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:39,560 someone, it's like, Oh my God, they're like Victory secret 847 00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:41,760 model. And then the goggles, you know, 848 00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:43,840 might come off a little. Bit yeah, exactly. 849 00:39:44,240 --> 00:39:47,560 And just yeah, just having that like inner confidence. 850 00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:49,880 Stop comparing yourself to her ex, to her ex. 851 00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:52,960 And also, if you're doing this, don't do it, but like, like 852 00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:56,440 don't mention to your to your girlfriend that like you're not 853 00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:57,760 as attractive. Do not do that. 854 00:39:57,920 --> 00:39:59,960 Don't put don't put it out there into the world. 855 00:39:59,960 --> 00:40:01,960 And if you've done it, take it back. 856 00:40:02,720 --> 00:40:04,360 Think it back. Remember what I said that one 857 00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:06,240 time when I didn't think I was as hot as your ex? 858 00:40:06,240 --> 00:40:07,480 Take it Back didn't. Mean it. 859 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,120 Yeah, No, I agreed. Also, like social media, let's 860 00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:13,760 be honest, it's fake. Yeah. 861 00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:17,400 And it's just, it's a recipe for disaster because, you know, it's 862 00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:21,880 just it's propaganda of the person she's going to be putting 863 00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:24,320 her best. Foot forward social media is so 864 00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:25,520 insanely fake. That is very. 865 00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:27,440 Very rare. It's all a lie. 866 00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:31,240 All. Right last one dating straight 867 00:40:31,240 --> 00:40:35,240 girls first timers yes or no, they've got to start somewhere. 868 00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,760 I like that ending. They stole my life. 869 00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:42,440 Have you ever done it? Would you ever do it? 870 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:45,720 Thoughts you? Slept with straight girls, yeah. 871 00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:48,080 Tried to get entangled with straight girls. 872 00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:53,360 Didn't go to plan. And I yeah. 873 00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:55,840 There is like a fetishization of it. 874 00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,480 Slightly like the straight girl trope, right? 875 00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:00,480 Oh, is that a good thing? Yeah, because it's like you're 876 00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:02,880 like winning a trophy. You're the Turner. 877 00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,240 Yeah, Tina Turner. What do you think? 878 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:10,480 I had this thing probably about God maybe six years ago, and I 879 00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:14,040 was sleeping with this straight girl for quite some time. 880 00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,480 And I was like, I don't know. I didn't really think of it in 881 00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:21,720 like a romantic sense where it was going to progress anywhere. 882 00:41:21,720 --> 00:41:25,920 But then she got a boyfriend and I was like, oh, that's stung. 883 00:41:26,240 --> 00:41:29,640 Also, be careful that their internalized homophobia doesn't 884 00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:31,960 sabotage you all your reputation. 885 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,760 There have been times when I've heard about stories of girls who 886 00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:37,600 are like, straight girls, and they will be like, on the sly, 887 00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:39,520 sleeping with, like, another girl because they're clearly 888 00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:42,480 like, not straight. Yeah, but then will make the 889 00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:46,280 girl look weird, who is the lesbian or almost predatory to 890 00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:48,320 save their back that she will happen with jazz. 891 00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:50,400 Jazz and Inger. Yeah, but this Chelsea? 892 00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:52,160 Also happened to me with said girl. 893 00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:55,760 She then all of a sudden was like this is done, one can't do 894 00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:57,960 it anymore. You've groomed me and I was 895 00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:00,840 like, what? Yeah, me too fat. 896 00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:02,440 You do give off a grooming impression. 897 00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:05,880 With my cap giving Joe from you. Being realistic. 898 00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:08,440 She was like, yeah, all those shots you bought me when we were 899 00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:10,520 out, like I could see what you were doing. 900 00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:13,080 And I was like, hang on a fucking second, there's two of 901 00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:16,720 us in this so. Disrespectful to actual victims 902 00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:17,960 as well. I know. 903 00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:20,840 And she was the one who actually not to be that person, but she 904 00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:24,000 came on to me like I obviously never saw it in that way. 905 00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:26,440 And then she did. I was like, oh, but now she's 906 00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:29,040 engaged and she's pregnant. But they would rather put 907 00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:32,440 somebody, and this is not to negate there are such things as 908 00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:36,120 groomers and abusers out there, but it does happen to innocent 909 00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:40,720 victims of this where they would rather make the lesbian look 910 00:42:40,720 --> 00:42:44,560 like a predator and a groomer. Then this is obviously quite 911 00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:46,000 rare. But I want to make it very, very 912 00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:47,880 clear. And I think that Inger has done 913 00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,480 a very similar thing to Jazz. I'm in Chelsea because, sorry, 914 00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:52,240 Inger, if you're listening to this, and I doubt that you are, 915 00:42:52,240 --> 00:42:58,960 but you might be, she has put herself in a situation on TV to 916 00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:02,960 not look gay in the slightest, right? 917 00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:06,000 So in order to do that, she's kind of had to Chuck Jazz under 918 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:12,360 the bus and make her look a bit crazy and inappropriate when 919 00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:15,760 that wasn't the case, you know? So I think that that is really, 920 00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:17,960 really harmful. I think with the straight girls, 921 00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,080 yeah, you can sleep with them. Maybe just don't put all your 922 00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:22,080 eggs in the basket, though, you know? 923 00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:24,480 Yes, it's fun. Yeah. 924 00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:28,680 It is, but they're never truly straight. 925 00:43:28,720 --> 00:43:30,160 OK, that's. What I was going to say, I feel 926 00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,440 like it's almost like an oxymoron, like sleeping with 927 00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:34,400 straight girls. Like if you're sleeping with 928 00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:37,120 them, then I mean, they're not straight. 929 00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:39,040 They're not straight. And I guess they realize that 930 00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:41,760 depends where their relationship to their sexuality is. 931 00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:44,160 If they've always been straight, they're like kind of want to try 932 00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:45,960 it out. No, not for me. 933 00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:48,400 Depends on their approach. Depends on their language. 934 00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:50,080 Listen to language that people use. 935 00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:52,960 If they keep saying, oh, but I'm straight, Ben. 936 00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:55,560 Yeah, OK, sure. Because at that point, but they 937 00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:57,160 were like, God, I always thought I was straight. 938 00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:59,560 But however, like, this is clearly not giving straight 939 00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:01,200 right now. So, you know, I think that 940 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,200 that's also OK. Agreed. 941 00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:05,760 But you got to be, you got to be a tough cookie, I think to 942 00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:07,720 handle that so. Yeah. 943 00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:09,960 Yeah, don't. I don't have it as like your 944 00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:12,920 first radio I feel like. No, you could be quite well 945 00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:14,680 seasoned to handle a straight girl. 946 00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:18,440 It's like a level 10, level 10. What level do you reckon where 947 00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:21,040 all that? I reckon we've maxed it. 948 00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:23,600 Yeah, I've got a fucking lesbian podcast. 949 00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:26,000 Do lesbian events. Yeah, that's true. 950 00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:28,280 You're at the top of the. Total. 951 00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:30,920 But you never know. We'll do this again next year 952 00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:33,440 and you're like, you know what? That was actually only level 6. 953 00:44:33,720 --> 00:44:36,680 Yeah, more levels I've. Got many war badges I don't want 954 00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:39,080 anymore. We've graduated, yeah, I've 955 00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:40,080 graduated. I've. 956 00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:41,440 Graduated. Yeah, right. 957 00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:45,080 That's it for the questions, but some girl who I'm actually 958 00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:47,920 obsessed with her like she always is on my TikTok lives and 959 00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:50,480 like puts in the funniest little like comments and everyone on 960 00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:51,960 there. And the other day when I was on 961 00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:55,520 TikTok live, she was like, oh, I just sent you a voice message 962 00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:57,960 Horror Story and I have not yet heard this. 963 00:44:57,960 --> 00:44:59,240 Neither is it, but none of us have. 964 00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:02,640 So I'm going to play it and you guys are going to hear it for 965 00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:05,080 the first time with us. Are we ready, kids? 966 00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:08,040 Today is full of surprise. Today is full of surprise. 967 00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:09,680 Ready, Liv? Yeah. 968 00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:14,160 Hi lesbians. Actually, I just want to say 969 00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:19,320 thank you to all of you, Freya, Scarlett and Liv. 970 00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:23,240 Oh, everything that you do has not gone unnoticed. 971 00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:28,240 I discovered your podcast in June of last year, when I say, 972 00:45:28,720 --> 00:45:31,840 and it was around the same time that I had come to terms with 973 00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:36,600 the fact that I was a lesbian. And obviously I don't know you, 974 00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:40,200 but I really, really appreciate everything that you guys do and 975 00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:42,360 continue to do. And I look forward to whenever 976 00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:44,480 it is that you decide to come here. 977 00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:50,040 Really cute. Just really thank you for being 978 00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:53,720 people that I admire and hopefully can grow the balls and 979 00:45:53,720 --> 00:45:55,560 the confidence to get to that level at 1:00. 980 00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:59,840 Point level 10. So anyway, this is my first 981 00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:01,520 dating story. This is the most recent dating 982 00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:05,040 story. So I started dating this girl. 983 00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:09,560 Went off really really well. We met each other about like 984 00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:14,440 another month now, so not too long and whatever. 985 00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:18,840 When we went through our first date, super super lovely, super 986 00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:22,000 super chill. Nothing happened, just a little 987 00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:26,800 kiss at the end. Second date came over, had a 988 00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:30,280 bottle of wine, one thing led to another, had some fun, it was a 989 00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:35,760 fantastic night. The third date was last week. 990 00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:40,480 We went for a coffee and then she had previously invited me to 991 00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:45,480 her art show, but unbeknownst to me, her brother, her brother's 992 00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:48,880 girlfriend were all there, all of her friends. 993 00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:51,480 And it was at her work and I didn't know that it was at her 994 00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:53,120 work and. Why am I already scared? 995 00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,760 Like I'm like on the edge of. My yeah, yeah. 996 00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,640 Yeah, I'm already getting nervous. 997 00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:03,640 Till the week prior. So obviously that's a little 998 00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:07,720 intense, but I had given her like plenty of, you know, ways 999 00:47:07,720 --> 00:47:11,040 out like I didn't. I said if you want me there, I 1000 00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:13,160 will be there. If you don't want me there, I 1001 00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:15,320 won't be there. It's a little bit intense. 1002 00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:18,480 When you're dating someone, you know, not establishing what we 1003 00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:22,360 are or anything like that. So the kind of a weird mixed 1004 00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:25,440 signal a thing for me, which is quite annoying. 1005 00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:31,520 And then yeah, got her the flowers like you all suggested. 1006 00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:35,960 And she just kind of. Just really quickly, she was on 1007 00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:40,000 a TikTok live the other day and she said to me, and it was 1008 00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,320 actually Anastasia that was also on the TikTok live, I think. 1009 00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:44,520 And she was like, oh, I'm going to go meet a girl for a date. 1010 00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:47,240 Should I bring flowers? And I said, yes, bring flowers 1011 00:47:47,240 --> 00:47:49,320 because it's always so nice to receive flowers. 1012 00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:52,080 And if she doesn't receive them, well then bin her off. 1013 00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:55,760 OK, That was that was my advice. So she bought the flowers. 1014 00:47:56,240 --> 00:47:59,160 So cute. It was like, this is a bit too 1015 00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:02,520 intense. And I said, oh, that's fair, the 1016 00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:04,040 flowers. But also I think you're 1017 00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:07,320 contributing. I feel personally offended. 1018 00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:11,080 To her art gallery opening. I think it's a beautiful 1019 00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:12,360 gesture. Yeah, but there was. 1020 00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:14,560 It was the flowers. Afterwards, after she had 1021 00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:19,120 invited her to a fucking reunion of her family and friends at her 1022 00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:21,760 work, she brings her flowers and she says it's too much. 1023 00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:24,360 Yeah, not that it matters. Did she bring it to the gallery 1024 00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,680 or did she just bring it? Afterwards, after the invite, I 1025 00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:28,560 think it was like another date that they had after. 1026 00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:30,760 That's so. That's so nice. 1027 00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:33,280 Always bring flowers. Yeah. 1028 00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:35,400 I've brought flowers to a I've brought flowers to a. 1029 00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:36,960 First Anastasia, what flowers are second? 1030 00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:38,960 And it was so cute. I loved it so. 1031 00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:41,280 Like who is unhappy to receive flowers? 1032 00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:43,880 I'm grateful, actually. That is, but they're an. 1033 00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:44,760 Invoice. Yeah. 1034 00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:47,800 Factor in that is that she's not out as a bisexual. 1035 00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:51,840 I think a lot of her friends know that she is, but not her 1036 00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:54,360 brother or her family. So I think that that's that 1037 00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:56,440 impetus as well that she has like this. 1038 00:48:56,920 --> 00:49:00,920 Oh, I'm, you know, I'm gay and I have to deal with the fact that 1039 00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:04,120 I'm dating someone that I like and she's giving me no 1040 00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:05,640 indication that she doesn't like me. 1041 00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:08,720 So I just, I'm a bit like, that's the first dating story. 1042 00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:13,840 Oh no. That's the first story. 1043 00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:16,400 Hold on, there's another one. But first of all, let's just 1044 00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:20,920 what the fuck? And again, this is prime example 1045 00:49:20,920 --> 00:49:24,800 of how internalized homophobia can really ruin a situation and 1046 00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:27,000 make somebody else either look or feel crazy. 1047 00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:31,600 Yeah, because what this girl did here, that was not intense. 1048 00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:35,600 You showed nothing but kindness, charm and generosity. 1049 00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:38,600 Yeah, what the hell. Like what the fuck? 1050 00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:42,160 Odd. Also it's completely insane that 1051 00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:45,040 she would make such a grand gesture of like inviting you to 1052 00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:48,400 a family event and then kind of say like giving flowers is too 1053 00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:50,320 much like. Yeah, and then saying that 1054 00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:53,200 you're like in the closet still give me a fucking. 1055 00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:55,720 Break this is. A much juice this may be a much 1056 00:49:55,720 --> 00:49:58,120 juicier story. So you do with it what you will. 1057 00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:03,320 So when I first came out I started, you know, exploring my 1058 00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:05,720 sexuality as you do. You hook up with people, you 1059 00:50:05,720 --> 00:50:07,080 meet people. That's certainly other. 1060 00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:12,480 Oh yeah. I went on Hinge for the first 1061 00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:17,720 time in a while and I ended up talking to this girl matching 1062 00:50:17,720 --> 00:50:20,440 with this girl. Little did I know that she was a 1063 00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:23,320 little fuck boy of all of Sydney. 1064 00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:25,560 Now did I? Probably know her. 1065 00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:28,840 Then. We go to the community about 1066 00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:31,560 each. Other on a Sunday we had both 1067 00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:33,480 prior engagements on a Friday night. 1068 00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:37,840 I had a wedding, she had a just a night out at the pub. 1069 00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:42,040 Got a bit too soon. Ended up texting each other 1070 00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:44,960 hooking up that night. I ended up staying the night. 1071 00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:48,920 She sent me home in her clothes, Classic and shoes. 1072 00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:51,760 By the way, classic. Can we just say going home in 1073 00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:53,520 their clothes? It is, yeah. 1074 00:50:57,000 --> 00:50:59,360 I bet she has like a wardrobe full of like clothes that girls 1075 00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:01,480 can bring home and she's the the Sydney bike. 1076 00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:04,520 It's the other girls. And then cancel the date on the 1077 00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:06,520 Sunday saying. Just really quickly, that's 1078 00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:09,360 really funny you said that. Just said it's just the the 1079 00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:10,720 clothes that the other girls leave. 1080 00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:13,360 On rotation. Now, what's it called when 1081 00:51:13,360 --> 00:51:15,200 you're in PE and you'd have to go lost and. 1082 00:51:15,240 --> 00:51:18,600 Found lost property. Lost and found was it. 1083 00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:20,400 Lost and found was. It mine was lost property. 1084 00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:21,520 Yeah. Lost property. 1085 00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:23,640 She's got a lost property box in her house. 1086 00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:24,960 She's like treat yourself to anything. 1087 00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:28,800 I'll have that Juicy Couture track pants please. 1088 00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:32,640 Oh amazing, what a. Family things happening, this 1089 00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:36,880 sat in the other blah blah. So that was really cool for me. 1090 00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:38,520 I was like whatever, whatever, whatever. 1091 00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:45,840 Flash forward to two weeks and we go to pub night here in 1092 00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:49,120 Sydney Which? Is doing well. 1093 00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:51,720 Let's be in my nights. Hang on, that's. 1094 00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:56,200 The Horror Story, right? Hold on now. 1095 00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:58,520 Just that, that's the whole. Story A Horror Story. 1096 00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:01,280 The way we the. Real Horror Story is somebody 1097 00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:05,160 taking my dad? Oh, that's funny made. 1098 00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:08,440 Out with me in front of everyone at the club. 1099 00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:12,520 It's kind of like a bit too much kind of thing. 1100 00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:17,800 And then we had subsequently started seeing each other after 1101 00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:24,040 that for about 3 months and I knew she was seeing other people 1102 00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:26,280 just because of her the way she was. 1103 00:52:26,280 --> 00:52:28,400 And I was also like, I don't know what I'm doing. 1104 00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:33,200 Like this is all very new and it was just diabolical. 1105 00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:36,280 It was actually diabolical. I should have known, sort of 1106 00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:38,640 should have, could have, would have seen the red flags, 1107 00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:40,600 etcetera. Should have would have cut out. 1108 00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:47,320 Then when she decided to just see me as a friend, which is 1109 00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:50,680 fine, I had a little bit her shit. 1110 00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:53,560 So what do I do? I ended up selling. 1111 00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:56,800 Maybe I'm the problem. I ended up selling it on Depop 1112 00:52:57,120 --> 00:52:57,920 because. You don't want. 1113 00:52:58,040 --> 00:52:59,920 Stuff out. She was like you could take. 1114 00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:04,880 It to yours. Like we said, it was lost 1115 00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:07,400 property. Yeah, probably just add the 1116 00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:10,160 girls on Depop just buying their stuff, yeah. 1117 00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:13,920 I lost it I. Think that's fine I actually 1118 00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:15,920 don't see a problem with that. I think that's quite funny. 1119 00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:17,960 Like that's funny revenge. It's harmless. 1120 00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:19,240 She. Said she tried to reach out, 1121 00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:20,280 right? Did she? 1122 00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:22,280 Yeah, well she was just like fuck this girl because she 1123 00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:25,040 messed her around. So goodbye, sorry and our to 1124 00:53:25,040 --> 00:53:26,840 your stuff and I'm going to get some cash. 1125 00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:28,760 We. Have seen each other so it. 1126 00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:29,600 Hasn't. Hold on. 1127 00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:31,200 I hope that she used that cash to buy the flowers. 1128 00:53:33,280 --> 00:53:37,000 But we have seen each other almost every couple of weeks at 1129 00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:41,960 this Lesbian white night and also at a music festival. 1130 00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:45,920 She was the first person I bumped into one of the nights 1131 00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:52,200 that we went to the my nights. Her ex-girlfriend was there whom 1132 00:53:52,200 --> 00:53:56,520 she had bitched to me by about by the way, and she introduced 1133 00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:59,640 me to her girlfriend, her ex-girlfriend and was like hi 1134 00:53:59,800 --> 00:54:03,480 like this is so and so. Her ex-girlfriend literally 1135 00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:08,600 grabbed my arm, walked me to the back of the pub and was like 1136 00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:11,840 whatever you do this girl is not worth it. 1137 00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:13,840 And I'm not saying that as anything. 1138 00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:18,480 She is a user. She will like do this the other. 1139 00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:20,880 It's taken me 4 years to get over her. 1140 00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:23,920 Wow, we love a girl's girl. I love. 1141 00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:27,000 Her. Yeah, what a legend like. 1142 00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:28,240 Don't do it. Don't do it. 1143 00:54:28,240 --> 00:54:29,080 Don't do it. Run. 1144 00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:30,720 Run. Take it. 1145 00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:32,520 Take the hoodies with you. Don't look back. 1146 00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:35,600 And I was like, this is like a lot. 1147 00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:39,680 So I really touched a bullet, but you can do with what you 1148 00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:42,440 will with this. But then she started trying to 1149 00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:45,000 egg us on and trying to be like, you guys should date each other. 1150 00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:47,480 You guys should date each other just. 1151 00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:50,520 Oh, you. Know the Rose tinted glasses 1152 00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:53,160 came off. So guys, you can do with that 1153 00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:54,720 what you will. This might be too long. 1154 00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:57,800 Wait, who was saying? The Sydney. 1155 00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:00,280 The Sydney. Was the Sydney bike saying you 1156 00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:00,920 too? Would be. 1157 00:55:00,920 --> 00:55:01,800 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. 1158 00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:05,400 Well, she should have dated her, yeah. 1159 00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:07,960 Maybe Jesus Christ? Holy fuck. 1160 00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:11,400 Oh. Yeah, bad news from the get go. 1161 00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:14,120 This happens so often though with these like fuck boy 1162 00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:16,640 lesbians I can't stand them I think. 1163 00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:18,880 What leg do you have to stand on? 1164 00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:24,360 Also, like, it's just so disrespectful to women that you 1165 00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:28,400 claim to love, you know? I'm like, you treat them really 1166 00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:31,240 horribly. Toxic masculinity lesbians. 1167 00:55:31,240 --> 00:55:34,800 And I'm like, guys, come on. Well, you know what? 1168 00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:37,000 Maybe just the most upset about that, though, was the flowers. 1169 00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:38,280 Wasn't it? No the flowers? 1170 00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:39,560 That's just horrible. Can. 1171 00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:41,240 We circle back. No, that's killed me. 1172 00:55:41,240 --> 00:55:43,520 Off can you send us your address so we can send you some flowers 1173 00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:44,120 please? Yeah. 1174 00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:47,400 Because I always get really sad when I see like flowers like in 1175 00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:48,920 the trash can. Do you ever see that on the 1176 00:55:48,920 --> 00:55:49,600 street? And I'm like. 1177 00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:52,120 Brutal. I hate chopping away flowers. 1178 00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:55,040 Like even after they're dead I'm like oh this feels sad. 1179 00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:58,720 It feels so brutal just shoving it in the bag afterwards. 1180 00:55:58,720 --> 00:56:01,040 You know, you escaped. Yeah. 1181 00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:02,960 I'm glad you escaped. Yeah, you know what? 1182 00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:06,160 You dodged about it twice. Because like flower girl has 1183 00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:07,600 shown you her true colours. Don't. 1184 00:56:07,600 --> 00:56:09,560 Just please tell me you're not still talking to her because 1185 00:56:09,560 --> 00:56:12,880 honestly, fuck that. And then Sydney bike. 1186 00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:15,880 Good riddance, yeah? Goodbye, goodbye. 1187 00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:20,600 And Sydney bikes eggs amazing. Maybe I give it a good try. 1188 00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:22,840 Yeah, no, I really rate her for saying that, actually. 1189 00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:24,840 Yeah, I want to know who Sydney bike is. 1190 00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:26,960 Me too, I probably know. Yeah. 1191 00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:29,320 Well, I just mean because, like, the world is so small. 1192 00:56:29,400 --> 00:56:30,320 Yeah. If you're listening to the 1193 00:56:30,320 --> 00:56:31,920 podcast, you want to put your hands up and be like, hey, 1194 00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:35,080 that's me, Come out. Come out, come out, come out, 1195 00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:38,600 wherever you are. Well, I really appreciate that 1196 00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:41,760 and thank you so much for saying that was the sweetest message as 1197 00:56:41,760 --> 00:56:43,520 all of the her voice. Was so cute. 1198 00:56:43,520 --> 00:56:46,520 I know her voice is so nice. To this anonymous stranger. 1199 00:56:46,520 --> 00:56:49,000 No, I feel. And she's so beautiful too, I 1200 00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:50,440 think. Keeps keeps sending us your 1201 00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:52,120 stories. Yeah, just keep sending them in. 1202 00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:53,800 I actually really love listening to her voice. 1203 00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:56,320 It's very sweet. And and yeah, saying those 1204 00:56:56,320 --> 00:56:58,320 lovely things like never goes unnoticed. 1205 00:56:58,320 --> 00:57:00,000 So thank you. And we couldn't do it without 1206 00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:02,520 you guys. So big love from us. 1207 00:57:03,200 --> 00:57:05,680 Is there anything else that we would like to say before we 1208 00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:07,840 depart? I've got. 1209 00:57:07,960 --> 00:57:11,680 I've got nothing else to say. Any other sprinkles of advice? 1210 00:57:11,960 --> 00:57:14,600 No, I just hope she bought herself something nice with the 1211 00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:15,960 depot money. Yeah. 1212 00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:19,360 Some flowers, yeah. Sell more of her stuff and get 1213 00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:22,360 it as a flight to the UK and come hang out with us, yeah. 1214 00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:27,920 Yeah, yeah. I didn't say that allegedly. 1215 00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:32,680 How do I how do I protect myself in that coming from the the past 1216 00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:34,760 legal. No. 1217 00:57:34,760 --> 00:57:37,560 Just to say, maybe you could steal it. 1218 00:57:37,560 --> 00:57:39,680 Throw and then maybe I'm not advising you. 1219 00:57:39,680 --> 00:57:41,120 To. I'm not advising you to, 1220 00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:43,720 however. However, if theoretically. 1221 00:57:44,600 --> 00:57:47,120 Yeah, if it has. Done things and then sell it and 1222 00:57:47,120 --> 00:57:49,520 it just so happened to end up on a website where you can get 1223 00:57:49,560 --> 00:57:51,000 money for it. You're doing great. 1224 00:57:51,240 --> 00:57:52,240 Thank you. You're doing so. 1225 00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:57,160 Good lesbians, we love you and we will speak to you next week. 1226 00:57:57,600 --> 00:57:58,440 Bye bye.