Hi everyone, welcome to today's episode of the lesbian sub club.
Welcome back, lesbians. Why are you looking at me like
that? I'm not.
I feel like you're looking at me like.
You, I just know you're struggling because you're wait,
you, you can't cope if you're not, If I'm doing the intro.
Well, I thought that you were just going to go in and say
something. You.
Don't like it when I don't jump in and cut you up.
No, I like it when you cut me up some.
Well, that's funny because you complain about it in Awful Life
for some of you enjoys it as well.
Hi, everyone. It's Scarlett here.
Now we'll get the podcast going for good.
We are here. I'm gonna jump.
I'm gonna jump straight. So you want me to take over and
own this, and then you suddenly jump in and find something to
say? I'm actually.
In a very annoying. Mood.
I'm gonna jump straight in and say over the last week I have
been violently obsessed. Not violently sick.
Violently obsessed with watching food tik toks like it's my new
thing. It's actually become a bit of a
think. Of yours it's actually it's
always been a thing but over the last week I have got a new found
obsession for watching people load the fuck up on calories,
smash it to the point where it's like 95% of my TikTok feed now
is people eating copious amounts of food like 4 McDonald's a day,
noodles, chocolate and I can't stop and I need to know if I'm
the only one that does this. Babe, they're so popular.
But we're not. That is true.
These people are getting millions of views.
It ain't just me. I mean, I'm who's your.
Favourite. Go on, tell it to the crowd.
Hot topic of the moment is Becky Jones.
Becky Jones. Becky Jones is fucking.
Jones. Becky Jones, we love her.
Yeah, Becky Jones is up there at the.
Moment and also Corey's world. Corey's world obsessed.
Yeah, Corey's been smashing 3 McDonald's a day quite
frequently, to the point that today he's actually publicly
announced he's made himself sick of McDonald's and he's not going
to be eating it for a while. And I think a while is probably
going to be 3 days. That's going to be a while for
Corey. Actually, how long that's going
to be OK. Two days.
What are you? Saying I'm going to go to two
days and I know it's going to start with, I know I told you
all that I'd gotten the ick from McDonald's.
However, here I am again. However, I'm back and I'm better
than ever now let me get 20 chicken Nuggets, three triple
cheeseburgers, 4 loaded fries and then I'll stop off on Costa
on the way back and get a frap with no coffee.
Then I'll go get myself a corned beef pasta.
But yeah, I absolutely love him. Like no hate at all.
I'm I'm genuinely obsessed. It's a guilty.
Pleasure though, I remember when I went on this like really
strict diet when I was younger and I was obsessed with watching
the Food Network whilst I was on this diet.
No, see that. That's because I've definitely
eaten more this last week from watching these videos.
I'm starving, I'm hungry. Mouth is all the time.
We've been talking about. Hungry all the time, but I'm
living my best life. She was really annoying though
is that she'll do this, I'll be like, we'll have dinner and then
we'll like chill for a bit and then as soon as we get into bed,
those videos come back out and then both of us are then lying
there like what the fuck can we eat?
You definitely more than me Friar bike I will say it and
hold a bit of self restraint. You'll be there. 3 Mars bars
down. Back in the car it is 2 Mars
bars. It is not the other.
Day you scanned 3 Mars bars. I never have.
Dying little piece of shit a few days ago that was.
No, it wasn't. Actually, look, we're going to
have a fucking. Fight it was it?
Was two. OK?
It was 2. You have definitely done three.
You have. In the day, not now.
You've done many three things in one night.
Mars bars. Just one of them.
Which one tastes sweeter? I was just going to say as well,
we've been like struggling with hay fever at the moment and
everyone in London is suffering. Like everywhere I turn, there's
is anybody else. Like I've diagnosed myself with
something a lot worse than hay fever.
Yeah, this is there because my throat at the moment is probably
only working at 50%. Capacity so scarlet sounds a
little bit frog throat. That'll be why.
Because I one of my glands is so swollen, you can see it out the
side of my neck. I come up in a rash of the whole
over the whole of my body the other day and my throat is agony
and I don't know why. And I think it could behave
fever. But if you're anything like me,
I've been on Google, I've gone through the whole of the NHS
website, I've gone through Doctor Web MD and I'm I'm, I'm
about. Four weeks straight for you as
like an on resident fucking doctor because it is constant.
Yeah, yeah, I would love that. I'd love to be the level of rich
where I have a fucking hospital ward in my house where I can go
and check in, put myself. I'll be.
There everyday babe. Yeah, I'd hook myself up to an
IV. Two hours.
I don't know what's in it. Might even just be a bit of
water because I don't like drinking water and I have a
doctor on hand to reassure me that I'm not moments away from
death at any given. Moment you're actually just
going back to you not liking water.
It reminded me what we were saying about these people who
are like eating this copious amounts of food that they just
they have such a childish palate, but they also don't
drink water. No, they certainly don't fucking
drink coffee. They don't drink anything that
is for an adult. Fizzy drinks, ice coolers and
anything with a copious amounts of sugar is all they're looking
for. Which?
It like cherry coke I The thing is is a little bit of you,
though, isn't it Scarlet, but it.
Is but I, I can't do it to that degree.
And I wish I could like, because I'll see these things and be
like, I could do that. And then I'll start to give it a
good go when we're like eating dinner or sometimes when we will
get a takeaway. And after like half of half of
my dinner plate, I'm like full. Crying.
I bought her a cinnamon barn the other day and that was a fucking
mistake. Yeah, because it wasn't for it.
It was like a fucking brick. What did you say afterwards for
the rest of the day? I feel sick, yeah, because I did
feel sick for the rest of. The day, yeah, because it was,
she said. You know, when it's in front of
me, I'm eating it. I didn't even eat all of it.
But it wasn't like a it wasn't a good cinnamon button.
Let's just put it that way. Why?
Did you? Why did you fucking shovel it
down your neck then if it wasn't I?
Didn't I ate about 1/4 of it, and that's only because, and
that's only because we're in a cost of living crisis and I
refuse for the whole of it to go to waste.
Yeah, that cinnamon bomb was like 20,000 lbs.
I don't actually want to know how much it was.
Don't tell me I've sat in the car whilst you got it.
I don't want to know how much you spend on food.
That's why I don't come and do the food shopping with you.
I can't talk. About the price.
Denial is a river in Egypt. Talking about denial, we're now
going to move on and talk about friendship breakup.
So we spoke recently in a couple of episodes before lesbian
heartbreak, which by far is the worst kind of heartbreak you'll
ever go through for some. Some people are thriving post
lesbian heartbreak. Some people are sat in their car
taking selfies. Who who knows what side of the
fucking, the river you're going to be on, but I know what one
I'd rather be on. Yeah.
So it doesn't really get much worse than lesbian heartbreak.
But I, so my take on this is lesbian heartbreak hurts more in
the moment. Like the pain in the moment and
the trauma right there and then is really, really painful.
But I think for me, the friendship breakups that I've
had over the course of my life have definitely hung around and
stung more longer term. I think it lingers.
Yeah, it lingers it. Lingers it's I find it
personally a lot harder to get closure.
I think it's more so because it's harder to rationalise,
right? Whereas when it's a
relationship, I do feel like it is easier to rationalise in a
very strange way, right? And also a friend is someone
that you go to when you're having those breakups with your
significant other that is your kind of like rock there.
So then if that foundation is like crumbled, that's really
heartbreaking because. You're.
Like, oh, I have some side to go to, you know?
And I think for me like it's particularly bad because I've
had a lot of friendship betrayal.
So my worst friendship betrayal, 2 of them are quite similar.
One of them she just didn't succeed because she's a pussy
ass little bitch. But the first one who was meant
to be, I think I mentioned this before, meant to be literally
one of my best friends and just cut me off one day.
Like literally cut me off one day and started to speak to me
in this like really condescending tone as well.
And I was like, this is weird because me and this person have
been really close for a long time.
Stop speaking to me. And I was getting to a point in
my life where I was more maturing to a point of not
begging for anyone's attention or love or acceptance of me.
So if people start to go quiet, fine, fuck off.
I'll see you never like I can't be bothered.
So I started to take that kind of that that journey, I think as
this was happening to find out five months later, because she
was with me ex for four years. And that is like that upset me
more. I was more upset that my best
friend had gone with my ex than that my ex had gone with my best
friend because I think at this point I'd established the ex
would fuck anything with a pulse actually.
But the best friend I truly held in such high regard.
I think that was what was so painful is that I really
respected this person. I thought this person had a lot
of love and respect for me. I really did think it was a very
like close mutual friendship because I think sometimes you
you have those friends where they're your friend, but you
know certain things about them that you don't necessarily
wholeheartedly love and respect, but you love other things about
them and you keep them in the wouldn't trust you for all of
these types of things box, but love you anyway.
And then there's your friends where you're like, I rely on you
as a person. I love you as a person and I
think that's a very much shared and when those people hurt.
So much as well about your situation, right?
So then when they're they, they know all of the things that make
you sad, upset, trigger you. They they've been there, they've
heard all the stories and they've been there through
relationship issues and then they turn around and they
fucking do it to you. I know, it's so bizarre it makes
me. So cross also the ones that
because you can be gaslit hard by friends real.
Well this person must have gaslit me so hard I didn't
realise I was being gaslit. Well, we've both been gaslit by
the same fucking person. Yeah, we'll get on to that one
in a minute. But yeah, like I, I don't Care
now. Like I honestly can say I don't
Care now. I could bump into my ex and this
person now and I, I genuinely would just be like, great, I
hope you're happy. Like I wish you well.
But I, yeah, I don't, I don't feel anything.
And it's, it's one of those things, and I will probably
repeat this a lot throughout this episode, which is like,
thank you because you taught me a lesson and I'm so much better
off for you not being in my life.
But definitely at the time, that really, really upset me and
affected me for probably a couple of years.
Sometimes that's why you can't see the energy that someone's
bringing into your life until they've gone and you feel a lot
lighter and you're like, hold on.
I look back at all those those nights that we spent together
and had like a really heavy feeling and I was thinking to
myself, oh, this is just the kind of era that I'm in at the
moment or whatever. And actually it's a fucking
person because they subliminally get under your skin and just
their atmosphere is really bad. And we've had this with a.
Well, two people, yeah. So there's one that we actually
very much shared the me and very, very much shared the
experience of. And I wonder if any of you guys
have been through a set a similar thing because this is
quite a unique situation. But I feel like particularly in
the lesbian world where everyone's ex is everyone's ex,
someone's ex is best friends with someone's girlfriend,
someone's girlfriend's sister is girlfriends with the ex.
Like we're we're very much intertwined.
Yeah. And so I would imagine we aren't
the only ones that this has happened to, but.
Yeah, I want to know. Freya.
Yeah, become really good friends with someone really very quickly
that we met probably about 14 months into our relationship, I
would say. We weren't very.
We were obviously established in our relationship.
We hadn't been together. That we hadn't been together
that long. No, no, no.
And we met this person and very, very quickly formed a close
friendship with them because we really like them like they
brought, I wouldn't say a good energy looking back now.
It was a bad one they. Didn't bring a good energy but
they brought a lot of fun. Yeah.
And we, outside of this person, had started to form quite a
great friendship group at this point as well, where we were all
going out, we were all having fun and this person was part of
that. And this person also was new
over to London and so didn't have a solid foundation of
friends. So, you know, we very much were
like, well, we will be your people.
Also, we were very much like, because I feel like we're like
this as people as well. If we see that someone kind of
like needs help or support, like we're happy to give that and
that doesn't take anything away from us.
Yes, at all. So she kind of had an element of
that needed in her situation. Very much so.
There was a lot of things we'd done for this person like CVS,
job searching, job applications, emotional support, lifts, like
basically anything. And, and I am not saying that
from a sense of like, look how much I've done because I would
do that tomorrow. And I'll do that for anyone.
I I won't ever stop being the person that I.
Am, but I think it forms a stronger relationship though,
when you're kind of doing that because you're kind of a bit
more involved in their life. And she relied on us to a
certain degree, right? Anyway, looking back now, it was
very prevalent and I'm a fucking idiot considering like the story
that I just told about my best friend with my ex that I, this
is very, very, very prevalent that this person was very, very
into Freya. And whilst not only being into
Freya, I clearly hated my guts. Which fair, like you don't have
to like me, but it's quite weird when you're pretending to like
me, actively disliking me and then trying to get into my
girlfriend's pants. So I have this thing probably
sometimes to my to, to to almost like a negative degree where I
won't. There's a lot of things I'll
bite about right? So like Freya left the window
open of our car. Don't fucking.
Start last night wide open overnight of our car, bearing in
mind we've had a vehicle stolen from outside of our house.
Before Was it stolen? Was it ransacked?
No. No, it wasn't, but you still
left the window open. And obviously that irks me quite
considerably, but when someone is going out of their way to
kind of literally shit on me in person, it takes a lot for me to
get annoyed because I will have a lot of empathy as to why a
person is behaving that way. So when this person was like all
over you and then kind of smirking at me and would
disregard me and would do that horrible thing that friends do
where they try and like out you and take the piss out of you in
front of all of your other friends to try and get an
advantage on you. I sat back and let it happen
because I was like, hey, I wanted this person to like me a
lot. Yeah, 'cause I couldn't
understand why they didn't. So I would then go out of my way
further to keep them like they're trying get, make them
like there was. No reason, actually.
No, there wasn't. It was very bizarre towards you,
I mean, but I think she think she has a reason.
But I will have to jump in here. And it was jealousy.
There was a lot of things that you had that she didn't have.
There were there were so many multiple things that I, I'm not
even going to get into, but it was very prevalent that like
there was an element of jealousy there.
And I think that some people just kind of have that green
eyed monster in them that they are just that type of.
Person Oh yeah, because this person had it towards other
people. Like it wasn't just me and we,
we saw it very clearly with others, but I didn't want to
believe that for myself because then I was kind of like, well,
if you're actively choosing to hang around with me, you must
like me. It turns out that they were
probably just there for Freya, which fine, I I'm here for Freya
as well. What happened was, was that
during the year that this friendship was happening, this
person had told us that they were very much in love with
someone and that it, it was very difficult for them to make it
work for multiple reasons. And we were trying to help them
through that journey, weren't we, of trying to make it work
with this person. And that was fine.
And then one day, there's so much to this.
But basically one day I just got a text being like, I want to see
this person and I want you to be OK with it.
And if you're not OK with it, then tough.
And basically this person, you know, the Harry Potter girl, it
was the Harry Potter girl. So if you listen to the other
episode, so. You need to listen to episode 3.
It was the Harry Potter. No, it was episode 4.
I can't remember. I'm trying to think of which one
it. Was the she the she cheated on
me one? She cheated on me so the.
Harry Potter girl that was the the cheat girl is the girl that
our. Managed friend and friend.
Very much in fucking inverted commas.
Yeah. So this fucker who I thought you
know would ruin my life from America I've never see again.
She wing guardian Leviosa the fuck over to England and she
quidditched her fucking actually to London over to just destroy
more of your life. Actually, she at this point, no,
she didn't destroy I'm. Actually so grateful to this
person. I feel like she's, yeah.
I'm going to give her. Credit.
Thank you so much, but it makes me laugh so much because it's
almost like, does she have a thing for something that you've
touched beforehand? Does she?
This is a Slytherin. Isn't it?
This is Slytherin, every pussy I do you think she'd be a
Hufflepuff? Hufflepuff.
She's a fucking Slytherin. OK she is a Slytherin.
So I had a text from the friend basically being like I want to
be with Slytherin and I want you to be OK with it.
To which my stupid ass initially initially went back and was like
yes, because I desperately don't want you to dislike me, I will
try and make allowances for that.
And then a couple of days later was like actually no, fuck you
because you have the penny suddenly dropped and I was like
fuck you. You've actually just spent the
last 12 months openly berating me, trying to embarrass me in
public, trying to quite literally put your hand down my
fucking girlfriend's pants, pants, pants, whilst I was in
the room in front of our other friends, which we can all vouch
for because they were there in Ascot.
Yeah, exactly that I'm talking about.
Yeah. And when all that wasn't enough,
you decided to pair up with Slytherin.
Which fine. No, it's not fine, because
actually a good friend, a loyal friend, a normal fucking friend,
would have never even been given that person the time of day, let
alone managed to go on a fucking date with them and then
subsequently fall in. Love.
Well, yeah, but then we found out that actually so that we'd
been this person had asked to go on a date with the months before
and I was like, weird. But I also can't tell you what
to do. Why are you asking me to for
permission to do something you know you shouldn't be doing?
Because if you're having to ask and get clearance, you shouldn't
be fucking doing it. So that was the first thing.
But remember, I went back and I was like, well, it's, I think
it, it's really upset me because this person has caused me a lot
of hurt in my life. I actually just don't want to be
associated with them. I don't really care what they
do. Can we just say very quickly as
well though, actually before any of this happened, you bumped
into Slytherin. Was very rude.
And you tried to put a bit of water under the Ridge you you
went over. So let's say, look, you know,
we're in this situation. It's a bit.
Awkward, I said. Look, can we settle this over a
game of Quidditch? Yeah.
And she laughed in my face and said no.
No, but she actually smirked at you.
She smirked at you. She was fucking rude.
She. Snubbed me so basically all of
our friends went to a gig and before I knew this person had
made it over to London. Had no idea and this is again
where the friend's a cunt because the friend knew this
person was coming and went to the gig with me and our other
friend knowing that this girl was going to be there Slytherin.
So I I don't know what else to call because can't call her by a
name was going to be there and not at any point looked up and
said by the way, this person's coming so did not give me a
chance also to pull myself out of that scenario.
I also. Found out though they were
dating. Oh, this is what I've been.
Getting they've been dating for months so yeah well she's doing
things with other people and she's.
Friends, by the way, we're trying to set her up with our
her mates because she's pretending she's heartbroken
over another girl in another country to find out.
Then a year later by a housemate she'd been dipping her hands and
Slytherins honeypot the whole fucking time.
What the actual fuck do you know?
I haven't really thought about this situation since when I say
it out loud I'm like, you're fucking cook, do you know what?
Yeah, you're a. Cook So yeah, I'm at this
concert. Turn around, Slytherin said
That. I'm like, fuck, say to our
friend who we're with, I'm like, right, I've got 2 minutes before
Cub Sport come and blast out to give you the lowdown on this
situation. My mate's like fuck, this is
intense. So I was like, Nat, do you know
what I think? By this point, three years had
passed since I found out about the Harry Potter night.
I'll try and be the big person and go over there.
I was like, look, this is a bit of an uncomfortable situation.
For you, because you also said to me as well actually, that
you'd said a few things that you wish that you had.
When I found out the night that my ex was cheating with this
person, I said some things which I shouldn't have said.
I went mental, which I, I don't regret being as angry as I was.
So I went over to say, look, bit of an uncomfortable situation
for you. Bit of an uncomfortable
situation for me. Clearly we have mutuals.
Let's try. And, and she just looked at me
and sniggered and I was like, OK, you're, you are a piece of
shit then. But you weren't just in love
with my girlfriend and at the time, and it was maybe something
that could have worked out. No, no, no, no, you're just a
bad person. You're actually, that was kind
of the start of it. And then the friend, our friend
was like, wanna go on a date with them?
That was the whole thing. They clearly.
Been doing it the whole no. But do you remember the next day
she was like, yeah, didn't, didn't actually enjoy it.
She said no got messages. No, she said.
I went on the date and yeah, I literally didn't feel anything.
Yeah, she's like no vibe, no chemistry.
I'm so sorry I didn't. Mean to upset you over this?
It wasn't even worth it. Do you?
Remember she sent a photo of her crying in the morning with
conjunctivitis. Do you remember that?
Yeah. Meanwhile, she obviously had
slept with her, was probably walking home.
It's a casual bit of pink eye, calling it conjunctivitis and
saying you're crying. Yeah.
And then got into a relationship with this person, wanted me to
be OK with it, turned around. I initially accepted it and then
was like, no, I'm prioritising myself.
I'm not accepting it. Never heard from her again.
Can we just say in a way, actually there was no argument
there. Actually, we were all very, we
were very civil. It turns out like a year later
she wrote this big old post about, you know, having fake
friends basically, which was us. That is so.
When absolutely ballistic at me when I just basically called her
out for it because I was like, oh hold on a minute.
I'm sorry, I I can be an asshole sometimes I will say things I
shouldn't say in a stupid manner and it can be a bit like OK, I
fucking shouldn't have said that.
Or like never nasty though, just like no a bit annoying.
Like I can be annoying and I know that I'm annoying, but the
the audacity to do that? Like how delusional can you
actually be? But.
Very quickly we had another friend as well who was very this
again, when I'm talking going above and beyond, I mean above
and fucking beyond. If they needed me to fucking fly
to the moon to go and get them an iced coffee, that's probably
what what would have fucking happened.
You had a lot of love for this person, had had a lot of love
for this person. Can I just say we're moving on
to another person now, But it's a very much the same type of
characteristics because I do think friendship break UPS
usually happen for these types of scenarios.
Whereas relationship break UPS usually happen because someone's
falling out with someone or there's been a monumental
argument you can't come back from or someone's cheated.
Where friendship break UPS, I think it's usually one side of
the friendship is abusing the other side of the friendship for
multiple things. Friends.
Friends are supposed to be forever more so than
relationships that you go through you.
Can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family.
But going off of that, I mean, very, very similar friendship
situation. And this person and me have been
friends since we were 12 years old.
Again, a very much similar situation.
I had just a lot of love and respect and care for this
person. And they were almost like a
brother to me. And then, you know, over the
years, it gave a lot more support.
You know, they'd gone through a breakup and I was really, really
helping him through all of that and, and I wanted to be there
for him. I had a lot of love, care and
respect for him and I honestly, again, was one of those friends
who, you know, he would even say to me that like you're a friend
for a lifetime kind of thing. And, and that was how I felt
with him, because I felt so. Close like watching you 2 from
the outside as well. Like, yeah, was always sort of
this will be someone in your life for your whole life.
He was going to so like, because I, I did love him a lot and
there were some flaws that we both had like within our like
friendship, but we would just kind of like bicker like brother
and sister and just get over. And it was, it was never like
anything big. And then again, I really helped
this person through a lot of different things and whether
that be helping them get different jobs that they needed
or, you know, taking care of them when they were going
through heartbreak. Yeah.
And emotional support, we supported with business support
as well, secured financial things for them.
Yeah, that was a lot. Yeah, that was a.
Lot and they gave a lot back to you, I'm sure as and when you
needed it. I don't think to the same
degree, I mean same. Degree.
I can't. When I look back for time when I
was heartbroken, where the fuck was he?
He wasn't anywhere to be seen. That should have been a red
flag. But again, I gave him a lot of
slack because some people in your life you do tend to give
more slack to than others just purely because I think as well,
when you're like a real empath, you are like, Oh well, I
understand that, you know, they are XYZ way and blah, blah.
And you kind of ignore those red flags.
Actually now looking back, I'm like, that was a red flag.
There are other things as well. That was like, oh, it shouldn't.
Have and just to highlight why that relationship disintegrated,
was that basically it was. So it really is pathetic.
It is pathetic but it was one of those things where you had to
put your foot down on. Like I said, I would do
everything for this person and very specifically within the
last few months of our friendship, I, I went above and
beyond as much as I physically and emotionally could.
And I started to see a change in this person's behaviour and it
shocked me because again, like I'd I'd known them for so long
and I was like, where is this coming from?
It's. Almost like the more you done,
the more you done, the more you got trampled on.
Yes, yeah. And so the whole.
As my mum would always say, the more you do, the bigger the cunt
you are. Yeah, bigger the cunt.
More you do, bigger the cunt. But I mean, it's, it was very
true, though, in this in this circumstance, because it wasn't
until I stopped going above and beyond for this person.
And when I say stopped, it wasn't like I just suddenly
went, I'm not doing anything for you anymore.
There was just one situation, which is the most pathetic thing
of all time, actually. I'm, I'm.
And The thing is, we knew it was pathetic, but it was principle
based, right? Because you'd finally got to a
point where it was like this. The actual thing we're
discussing, we're talking about is not a big deal.
On the grand scheme of things. It's not a big deal, but the
principle, but the principle of it was the final straw to be
like, no, I'm, I'm going to put my foot down on this one thing.
Very small thing. Because that you've kind of
taken it too far. Even though the thing itself was
minimal. The chair.
It was the cherry on the cake. But it was also a.
Catalyst for you being like no. But I think it was a very
telltale sign that this person then completely after this von
very minor thing where I put my foot down on one small thing.
In a really nice way, by the way, in a.
Very nice way when I've gone above and fucking beyond so much
out of fucking pocket for this person constantly and then I
don't do this one thing that they want and now I haven't
heard from them since it's been over a year and.
You. You were.
Called like a terrible person. Yeah.
And that they learnt a very fucking valuable lesson and all
this kind of shit. And I'm like, I actually, you
learnt the lesson. Valuable lesson, yeah.
There was a bigger thing and I think that's why they started to
get frustrated to towards you towards the end because they
wanted to go and do things that you would have been like.
Hell, fucking hell. Not because we're talking about
stuff that's dangerous, right? Not because I'm judging.
No, no, no. Don't do that.
Dangerous. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that was that was one of the the reasons so.
So that was. Heartbreaking.
That was really heartbreaking and it made me so fucking sad
because again, like I said, I pumped in so much love and care
for this person and then all of a sudden I was just absolutely
nothing to nothing. So, you know, overall, like, why
are we talking about this and why have we decided to discuss
this today? And I think it's because like
it, it goes back to a lot of the situations in your life.
So it ties into, you know, coming out and having negative
experiences from friends and family.
How do you hold yourself in those situations going through
your first lesbian breakup? How do you hold yourself in
these situations? And again, with friendship
breakup. And it kind of comes back to
that thing. And I think all of these things
are are truly interlocked as like it gets to a point in your
life that you have to realise that if you don't prioritise
yourself and set your own boundaries, you won't ever be
happy. No, if you live having to put
other people's feelings before yourself, not being able to
show. Hold yourself with love and
compassion. And my biggest thing was being
scared of people not liking me. You stunt your own personal
growth and you close yourself off to doors that will make your
life better. And but also, that's the thing,
right? One door closes, another one
opens. And when a relationship like
that rids itself, then maybe at that time with that person,
you're like, OK, do you know what?
This was clearly then never supposed to be a forever
friendship and like relationship with this person.
Not only that, but it's like, if you're showing your true
colours, whenever somebody shows you their true colours, fucking
believe them. Then yeah, you listen because
like. The red flags like when we were
talking about the red flags like it's not a one off.
Those things don't just happen on a one off.
If you know, people can have bad days.
And I do think sometimes friendships, like any
relationship is give or take. You can go through six month
period of giving because like that person's going through
something and then you can be going through something and they
give, go through six months of giving.
That's fine. But when it's constantly one
sided, you need to be able to recognise that and not hold on
to those types of relationships. They don't serve you.
One thing that I would say as well is always when you leave
the room with someone or you've left a situation and say you've
spent the weekend with them or you've spent a night with them,
whatever. If you've spent, if you get home
and you feel drained, that is your telltale sign because you
can feel exhausted. Like I had a fucking great night
and I feel exhausted and whatever.
But if you feel energetically drained after someone, you know
it, you feel very heavy. That person isn't actually
supposed to be maybe in your life, but maybe not to like a
close. Yes, capacity, yeah.
And that, yeah, very much recognised that looking back at
situations with with people that, you know, are no longer in
our lives is. And we'd even say it in the time
we'd get in the car and be like, because there's two other people
that I'm thinking about now that we were really close with that
again one day just disappeared. Don't know why.
Bit of a bizarre 1. Riding them left, right and
centre, yeah. That we'd get, we'd come away
and be like, oh, we don't feel good.
No, I feel like shit. We feel really like kind of
anxious and why? And I think it's because those
people were projecting a certain kind of energy that maybe isn't
even a bad energy, but definitely not an energy that
aligns with us. Whereas now when I walk away
from any of our friends, always feel amazing.
Also. Especially when it's Polly
Cooper and she's that Polly Cooper idiot and I can just
rinse her the whole time and I walk away feeling godly.
Brilliant. No, but yeah, they probably.
All go Polly, there's your shout out.
Polly actually messaged before and was like, guys, I'll be
buzzing if you mention my name on the podcast.
And I said, I don't want to mention your name because you're
quite a shameful person, but I've done this for you, Polly,
because I'm feeling generous. But yeah, that, I mean, yeah,
that is it's it is a very clear sign that you're just not in the
right space with that person. They're not right for you.
And also, if you feel like you have to ask for loyalty from
someone, they're also not right. Loyalty is a fucking given with
a friendship. And if you're listening to this
and resonating and thinking shit, this is this reflects some
of the relationships in my life. And like, what do I do about
this? I think there's also a point
there with self prioritisation, which is the hardest thing you
can do if you're quite an empathetic, empathetic person.
Yeah. God, that was a tongue tie for
me. I don't know why.
It was a big actually. So I know I had a brain
haemorrhage a few years ago. So sometimes when I pronounce
things wrong, it's because of that.
It's not, is it? No, that is genuinely why.
It is because I get like a bit of a speech pediment since the
since the I. Think I genuinely think it's
because you're trying to say so many fucking words at once that
you start stumbling over them because.
That could also possibly be it, but that's not as forgiving is
it that you have to self prioritise and and you have to
get to a point in your life where you go, if I don't do this
now, I am allowing my life to look a certain way because that
negative energy will spill over into your work, into
relationships with other people, into new opportunities, into
personal growth, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
So yeah, if you're feeling it, babes, rid yourself.
If you're feeling step away. Yeah.
So that was our little kind of deep dive on friendship breakup.
I hope that was useful to some people because I do feel like
it's something that happens a lot and we don't talk about a
lot because relationship breakup consumes a lot of the
conversations, not just here, but you know, generally in life.
And I think we can all really acknowledge just quite how
painful friendship breakups are. And to, you know, again, touched
on this at the start, in many ways worse than relationship
breakups because you depend on them more.
You think that you you go into relationship knowing that it
might not always be forever. You go into a friendship,
deciding to become friends with someone, thinking it will be
forever because otherwise you're like, what's the point, right?
It's meant to be unproblematic talking a problematic.
We're actually now going to speak about X and I fucking love
this game. If you've if any of you have
been on phrase TikTok, I'll actually post it on the
Instagram as well. Does anyone remember like a few
months ago? You will remember because it was
a few months ago when the ICK challenge was going round on
TikTok. Frey had been begging me to do
this for a while. And I was like, I don't really
want to do it. I don't really want to do it.
She's like, come on, come on. It'll be really funny.
Oh. She found her niche.
When I tell you I got into it, I loved it, Loved it.
IX. I'm like an ick master I was
saying this to. You, as in you are the master
ick. Don't come me off already, don't
I? It's hard to describe.
Them when you are one, isn't it Frey?
It's so. Irritating.
That's giving me a nick. Just you.
No, I was actually gonna say if I compliment.
Me 4 1/2. Years.
I was gonna give you a compliment.
Basic one it Yeah. Need anything from you.
I don't need anything from you in this friendship.
I'm still what's. Annoying me, your eyebrows right
now you're doing all sort of fucking things with your
eyebrows and you're getting all grouchy.
You look like, do you know what you look like?
You look like that thing from Sesame Street.
Just. Because I've got a decent set of
eyebrows unlike you ever since you fucking.
You know, the one that comes out of the bin.
They're barely existing. You are.
That bin Muppet, whatever the fuck it's called, that's you,
Grouch. Oscar the Grouch.
That is Scarlet. Wait, I'm gonna can.
We get a photo of Oscar the Grouch and Scarlett.
Fuck. Oh my friend, is it.
Especially when you do. You've actually.
Yeah, please. You've actually got a mark from
where you've been frowning so much so.
So too. Yes, you did, cunt, you did.
Talking of friendships becoming enemies, that is the story of
your eyebrows, isn't it? Because they were once friends.
That is brilliant. That was really funny.
And now they're so far apart. There you, Oscar.
Good for you, babe. Now I I was going to say that
every like I get the ick really, really easily with with people
that I'm seeing, and I've never actually had it with you.
I've been annoyed at you, but I've never had the ick.
You know that ick feeling where it like shoots up your spine and
you're like, oh. Were they like sniff things with
their mouth open? I hate that one.
That one really bothers me as well and I never really thought
about it. So when they sniff, you know.
When people you like hand them something and then they go,
yeah, you know, I go that exists.
Same. You'll.
Be like you'll no, they're like, you'll be like can you go and
have a can you go sniff this and they go.
Later. Disgusting.
It's disgusting. Absolutely.
Yeah. Vile.
And I was talking about this earlier as well.
Like when somebody when, when you're like dating someone and
then you go over to the car and they've got to get themselves
into a three car door and they've got to move the seat
forward and and bend over and get in there in the back.
Especially if the bum cracks hanging out.
Butt crack. And they're like, oops, sorry,
oops, sorry. Someone putting on running gear.
Just putting on running. That's an ick, you know, and as
well, and they have those condom hats as well.
Not the swimming cats, the condom running hats.
No. Do you know what's fine?
As if they wear all of that but actually can't run.
Yeah. So like, they get themselves all
geared up, then they run to the local coffee shop, and then
that's it. That's basically me.
So we put this into our friend group chat this morning was
like, can you give us some ick ideas What was Polly's one again
because it was really funny she. Says that she once broke up with
the girl because she was eating crisps loudly in bed.
No, but she also said she broke up with the girl because when
she woke up in the morning she was vaping on her.
What's it called? Lost Mary gave her the ick,
which is so funny because Liv, who sat in the room now, is
always such a lost Mary. Have you lost her?
No, you're not. You're sucking on a vape when
Freya's playing COD with you there and you're you're losing.
Oh yeah, I love watching Liv lose to COD.
It happened once. Yeah, she does that at me.
She's fucking hardcore, man. Actually guys, if any of you are
into COD, I challenge you to A1V1.
Yeah, if anyone wants to interact with Freya on COD,
please add her. She loves it.
Add me. She thinks she's really, really
good at it. You're quite good at it, to be
fair. Better.
Than you lives the. Best.
Well, that's fine. Liv is where we both live is the
best. But you sound better than you.
But there's actually been quite a VP.
Yeah, there's been a lot of times where we've been playing
in a in a group and I get the MVP.
So we asked into the into the lesbian group chat that we've
got with our friends, and this one just got me because it was
just Jess. It was just the way that she
said it. It's not so much what the ick
is. So our friends Jess and Rihanna
kind of in some ways a copy and paste version of me.
Yeah. And when the four of us get
together, it's great because we all just attack each other.
Then it's it's I love it. Excellent.
My biggest fucking Eck. I love you, Rihanna.
I can't wait to marry you. But fuck me do I hate this.
When she's like looking at her phone, laughing to herself, like
really laughing. Oh my God.
It makes me want to like strangle her so much.
I don't know why. I just fucking hate it.
I love it. This one is so niche.
Like your, your fiance. Why that too, right, Freya?
Yeah. I hate it.
Yeah, because you either do it really late at night when I'm
trying to drift off to sleep, or early in the morning when you've
decided to wake up at 6:00. Darling, you're always asleep.
Find me some time when you're not asleep.
And no, go out and sit in the living room if you're awake.
You. And The thing is, Freya doesn't
just laugh, she loves to the point that her whole body
vibrates and shakes the bed. And then I'll finally be like,
fine, what? What's so fucking funny?
And she'll show it to me, and it's potentially one of the most
unfunniest things I've ever fucking seen in my life.
It'll be like a dancing plan. And she'll be.
Like I've never laughed at no, but I'm fucking.
I'm saying it for dramatic effect for yeah, but.
What I'm saying to you is. Remembering of them because
they're so unfunny. Just say.
You don't have a sense of humour.
Just say you don't have a sense of humour.
I do have a sense of. Humour.
No, you only find yourself funny.
Sarah Allen, You don't find other things funny in life apart
from yourself, do you? Go on, name me one.
My mum, my nan. Because Jake.
Foster makes me laugh a lot. No, do you know what this is
actually going to upset? I actually this is actually
upset me. What, because I haven't said
your name? Yeah, maybe I do laugh at you.
At me, I got it. Fucking idiot.
But yeah, no, we what was another?
Oh, yeah, I was speaking to this girl earlier.
This the, the girl that's barista down the road.
I love her. And I said, oh, we want to talk
about icks on the podcast today. And she was like, oh, I get the
ick all the time, all the time. And I said, give me one.
She was like, if a guy wears a helmet, she was like, that's
fucking pathetic. She was like, I want you to just
die for me. I don't care, she said.
If you're not prepared to fucking die for me, then I don't
want it, she went. Because if you crash really bad
and you've got that helmet on, I'm not looking after you.
I need to be looked after. It's so funny.
That made me laugh though, so that's obviously not being
serious. But she might be.
She probably is, but it just made me laugh, the fact that she
was like, yeah, if you wear a helmet, that's a neck.
Do you know what else is an ick for me?
People who can't use chopsticks stick.
I love it. Yes.
Oh no. Eloise can't use chopsticks.
She gave it a good go, bless her she did.
It was fine because I just ended up feeding her so I benefited.
From her better, actually. No, but yeah, it's a bit of a
nick. People who can't use chopsticks.
It's a bit of a nick because just like it, like, I struggled
for a bit, I'm not going to lie, but it doesn't take much to just
fucking. Do that you go on a date with
someone to a pub and they order either a cider or a recorder
leg. Really is, what else was I going
to say was a Nick? That's a Nick.
What this. Yeah, I think, isn't it?
Because I can't do it. You look like you're doing
something else and it's not with female genitalia.
Can you do it again? Oh, oh wow.
I don't know how to do what you just did.
That's what I can do. I actually want to stop
recording because I'm going to go and throw up.
Wow, do you know what else is a Rick?
A Rick? What else is an ick?
That's fine. You running?
I wish we had a mic on Lib just for that.
There is it. Oh.
No, Sarah can't run. So Sarah Hallimer.
Don't bring in give me some jokes by the way, because.
No one will understand it. I OK yeah, I can't fucking run.
What's my ear I? Try your ick.
What you've said, you've already said.
I've never given you the ick, though.
I'm. Trying to think of things though
that are fucking. Annoying things.
You do icky things, but it doesn't give me the ick.
Leave the toilet roll on the side of the bath.
Leave the toilet roll on the side of the bath every single
time. You never replace the toilet
roll. That fucks me right off.
But that's not even an ick, it's just annoying.
Lesbians don't pay for therapy. Do you know what we do?
We download costar and blame everything on our moon rising.
It's so true. I wonder what so true scope?
Said today you're gonna get fucking emotionally abused by
your girlfriend on a podcast. That's funny.
That's correct. Ohh, well I don't think that's
true, is it? Why?
Well I'm definitely not emotionally abusing you.
I might go. Cry.
I'm gaslighting you now, but I'm not emotionally abusing you.
Horror Story. Can we go for the Horror Story?
Of course, because of course, of course this is going to get you.
The eggs are. Going to get nasty and I can't
be bothered because I just want to have a nice night and I want
you to cook my dinner so I'm going to start.
I'm not cooking dinner, by the way.
Tonight I'm having pizza. Oh, what?
No, fuck the fuck off. You're not doing me a burrito.
I'm not doing you a burrito, sorry.
Yes, you are. No, I'm not.
I'm sorry, I'm actually not. I've been ill for the last three
days I'm. When is she not?
I'm Medicare. Yeah, but I have been.
Oh, all right. Well, I'll insert the photo of
my rash on my face in this podcast, then.
I'm not. Saying that you're not ill, but
I'm saying when are you? Not well, I can't help it.
My immune system shot. Probably from the fucking stress
of having to live with you, you said to me.
It's. So stressful is that having
having someone to wait on you hand and well, exactly.
Everything that you need. Not right now.
You said to me this morning. I'll cook you whatever you want
for dinner tonight, you know. That was before I knew that we
were going out. We're going out like 5 How the
where? Where am I going to have the
time to make you a burrito? Very nasty, That's all I'm going
to say. I'll buy you a pizza.
Do you want me to buy you a
burrito? No, I'm going to get a tortilla
and I'm going to go and sit there on my own that is a
burrito and have your Pete. Yeah, but I said, do you want me
to go buy you one? You said you could end up going
to Taco Bell and get me a burrito.
I want a burrito from Tortilla. OK sweetheart.
Not Chipotle or anything. A tortilla.
Do you want to grow up? There you go.
You don't need to. Talking of X, moving on to the
Horror Story I. Love a Horror Story and I really
love this one. And what I love is that you
haven't. Read it.
I haven't read this one you. Have to slide by the way because
I screenshot it. OK, fine.
OK, so I've got to start off with the obligatory fangirling
and say I love you both. I need weekly consistent
episodes because why would you make us wait?
First of all, we do actually now do weekly episodes.
Yes, they're not always on the same day because.
They are. Weekly.
But you guys have to understand that at the moment it's me,
Freya, our producer Marcelo who is incredible, who also is a
very successful busy musician. And we're all doing this off our
own backs whilst working full time and like self funding this
whole thing. Trust me, when we can afford to
do go big or go home, we will. We love you.
We're trying to get them out as frequent as possible, but you're
going to have to bear with us. But thank you anyway.
And that's why I put a little shitty fucking response to the
Patreon statistics, which by the way, we're a joke.
And so many people were offended because like, but in order to do
more, we need to have more money and we physically can't afford
to keep pumping more of our own into it.
Anyway, a little rant there, but I just that needed to be said.
It needed to be said because people need to realise that I
agree. Sony, Spotify, universal, TikTok
listening. Call me You want a big dyke
podcast on your books, you know where to come.
Anyway, here's my Horror Story. Please keep this anonymous.
I'd met this woman on Hinge and can I just say, although we are
no longer together and haven't spoken in years, she's still one
of the most phenomenal human beings I've ever met.
It's really nice. Not only was she professionally
successful Hollywood producer Wow who'd also travelled the
globe, she is also a successful lesbian erotica author.
Think Dom Femme. Yeah, she's already ruining my
life. Great.
I felt nervous and was intimidated by the confidence
and fast experience this woman possessed.
I'd never been with a woman previously, a much less topped
one. She mentioned that she was
always the one to plan dates and she never had been topped and
wondered what it would be like. This prompted me to plan the
most romantic date ever. Picnic at sunset overlooking
downtown next to a lake with the light up boat Swans.
As the evening went on, 4th of July fireworks lit up the sky
around us and it was truly more romantic that I'd ever planned
it to be. And although we had told each
other we'd wait one more day to hook up, we both couldn't
resist. Classic.
We ended up hooking up in my car.
Classic. Never ideal, but couldn't wait.
While going down on her, I was nervous about not doing it right
and wondered if she was enjoying it.
I was completely in my head and out of nowhere she toots
straight up my nose. Pretty sure I tasted it too.
Being that I had committed to make her cum, I ignored it and
kept going. This.
Is what I. Love about lesbians?
We won't give up. No, that's good going, girl.
We never spoke of it again and I'm pretty sure she was too
drunk to remember it. I hope for her sake she wants
she was. I now fear this might happen
again with another woman. And it stopped me from hooking
up. Geez, she's got some real
fucking. She's quite extreme, didn't it?
I didn't particularly enjoy being the human centipede to her
flatulence. Flatulence.
Sorry. And I've never confessed this to
anyone, so I'll just do it now on a podcast for thousands to
listen, much less ask for advice on how to move on from this
unfortunate event. Please frame scholar.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated girl.
First of all commend you babe for.
Can I just say first of all. Power in on three.
This is actually one of my worst nightmares.
Is it? Yeah.
It crosses my mind a lot, really.
And better be. Careful then, girl, that you
treat me right, honey, because. But I it's something that I
really worry about. I can imagine she was obviously
having a great time. The.
Other very relaxed if you've had a bit to drink.
She's not. Yeah.
But at that point she probably found it a bit awkward to like,
react to it. Maybe she was just hoping that
the. Other one didn't notice and that
it didn't. Stink.
I think I that I would leave that for me.
I'd have to say something. I would get back.
Up. I would get back up at that
point though. I would get up and be like you
just farted in my mouth. That's full circle.
For me, for the one that's, yeah, that is full circle.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You feel like that that was,
that is, that is something else because it depends as well on
the level of the fart. Smelling a fart and then tasting
a fart is two different. Warm, warm.
Yeah, in the on the tongue. Yeah, just imagine as well what
they probably added that little picnic.
Taste it twice. No sour cream and chive dip?
No, that's all I can say because that you're asking for trouble.
Imagine if it was right. Let's be serious.
How can we help her move on? I think the main thing is right
is that I've I've gone down so many times that has never
happened to me. So like can can I just say on on
different people? No, no, I mean on you as well.
I mean, I've gone down. Yeah, yeah.
On five years, I can safely say that's never.
That's never. Happened right so it's like
don't don't you worry about that happening again statistically it
won't happen ever again statistically it's more likely
to happen to me than it is to you I.
Think you're lowering her into a false sense of security.
I think this is probably more common than we'd imagine 100.
Percent, no. But I do also think though,
statistically, statistically. Yes, like it's happened now,
it's probably not going to happen again, which is good, but
I do think this is probably quite common.
She goes, so This is why we guys, we all have to be really
careful about the way that we treat our bodies because what
you put in is what comes out. We all need to make sure we're
healthy. We're drinking some pineapple
juice before we're having fun and we're holding each other in
OR. Maybe just hold your farts.
Actually, don't hold each other in a high regard, Just hold it
in. Yeah.
So how do you get over this? I think you've just got a power
on three because I think if you go ahead and you have a really
positive experience, then you'll be like, oh, what was I worrying
about? I think sometimes when you spend
so. Long worrying also.
Build it up in your own head. You know, you've got the crazy
hot scale, you've also got the crazy fart scale.
You really do. No, the hot fart scale.
So like for me if she's super fair.
And she farts in my mouth. I.
Probably wouldn't mind. Neither would I, actually not
mind is that's extreme, but imagine Joni Coma farting in
your mouth. I'd be like, OK, yeah, I'd take
it. I'd take you would I'd.
Take a bit more than that. I'd be like do it again.
I'm not sure I'd actively asked to do it again.
The more I think about it, the more I'm like, well.
I think I'd move on from it. Yeah, I would move on.
Like things happen. Things do, People make mistakes
happen is bums make mistakes. I just think you've gotta get
back out there. Just get back out there saying
windy pops, you've just gotta get back out there.
Do it. And then you'll be like, oh, why
was I so worried? Yeah, exactly because.
You can build it up in your head.
It goes the same for so many things in life.
The the longer you put something off, the bigger it gets.
Yeah, we caught a snippet of Cammy Scott and her wife's
podcast, I think it was on TikTok.
It came up and they were talking about lesbian bed death, which
we're going to do an episode on as well.
Just to put it out there, everyone and they were saying
basically like the longer you go without it, the worse it is to
do it because you build it up in your head and it's kind of the
same as the fart we've. Even said that before, yeah, as
you said, it's building nation now and it's but it is the same
with the it's. The same with the fart.
The longer you go without a fart in the mouth, the worse you
think the fart in the mouth will be.
What I think the tactic was from the Dom femme, she's not used to
being topped and I think that she couldn't fucking handle it,
so she had to sabotage it. She's like, I'm actually going
to dominate. This experience by farting in
your mouth. And distressing you so you never
dare. Woman and and you never want to
touch another woman again because I've absolutely
annihilated your. Mouth.
Do you know what that is? Yeah, you've got it bang on.
Yeah. You've Hollywood, baby.
It's showbiz. Do you know what that's giving?
It's giving Cate Blanchett. Maybe it is.
Do you know what else it's giving James Corden?
Fucking James Gordon. On that note, we're ending now
'cause I'm not getting on James cording chat again.
I'm not giving him any more airtime than he's deserved.
Although I will say I'm so fucking happy.
Carpool Karaoke carpools over. So now what we need to do
Carpool Karaoke. Now karaoke.
To do our own version of carpool.
Kapoo kapoo. Not a poor karaoke.
We need to. I'd love that.
It's the end of an era and I'm so happy about it.
No more of that shit, no more of him singing over actual.
Singing, although we did go out of a with a bang with going out
with a Dow. I mean, you can't really get
much better than that, can you? Fucking love a Dow.
Thank fuck that's over. Yeah.
And thank fuck this episode I was.
Gonna say that. My mouth is dry.
I'm done. We're off at.
Least it's not a fuck. Bye everyone, everyone thank
you. Love you.