Get the fuck up, I can let me like.
No, I just. Didn't fucking song.
Do you know what? I hate it.
I. I.
Hate it? When that happens, I just don't
understand the You're having like crack about something and
then someone doesn't get on your level and then you just sat
there looking like a twat, said Jess wouldn't do that to me.
Hi lesbians, it's another week. It's a sunny week, it's a
glorious week, It's a fucking fantastic day.
This is Freya speaking and I'm sat here with manager live.
Hello. Hello.
Suddenly everything has changed because it's sunny.
Everyone's happier and it's bloody brilliant.
Yeah, I definitely did cry in the sun in public for three
hours yesterday morning. However, not every day and not.
Today, you know what a wins a win.
A win is a win. At least it was sunny.
It could have been raining. Exactly.
Although sometimes you always want it to rain when you're sad
because you're like you kind of you.
Want to lean into? It lean into it you and it hides
the tears a little bit better It's kind of more obvious when
you're crying in public in the sun.
You know it's it's not the best look, but you know, we moved we
all sat here with a gin and a tin we got.
There are so many updates look guys, there's the obvious update
which I know all of you want to know about.
However, I'm not discussing it on this episode.
But there will be 1 coming which will have a bit more of an
emphasis on what's going on. But right now I.
Think you just need some breathing?
I need some breathing space and I'm not talking about it today.
So that's why I just wanted to talk absolute shit with Olivia.
I've got a topic that I want to talk about, but like first I
want to speak about the the updates.
Like I feel like a lot has happened in gay news.
Recently got Lady Gaga's new album.
Yes, which I still feel like I need to watch it, watch it,
listen to it properly, because I did half asked this morning.
I half asked it with you and on. I half asked it with Jess as
well and it's still just, I don't know, I.
Feel like what we should do is when we when we're done with
this recording, we should plug it into the speakers and give a
good old listen to a couple of them.
Because I feel like maybe listening to it from the iPhone
is a bit anticlimactic, you know, but.
We were just saying them. We were expecting from
Abracadabra and disease, we were expecting some full gay hype pop
and it's not really giving that, sadly, but you know.
A saying, Jess just just described it as 80s pop.
So I feel like we need to go in with that in mind, you know?
80s pop look, 80s pop can be cunt, but come on.
I just say that I don't know I need to.
Fuck you, gay man. That is the worst thing you
could have ever said to me. You are twink you.
Are acting like a twink at the minute you.
Are sure what is really. Bothering me as well as how
short everyone keeps saying that I am a.
Short twink. Short twink.
No, it's fucking me off now because I genuinely, I'm not
short, but it just so happens to be just the reason.
I'm short so for God's sake, but.
Just a lanky fuck. Like what you need to understand
is, is that everyone around me is just freakishly tall.
That's the. Difference.
They're not. And can I just say when I meet
you guys at the events, you will say how tall I am going into
that the events can people? Stop giving Freya a complex
please. No, everyone's giving me a
complex by calling me short when I'm not short.
I've got height dysmorphia average.
I'm actually above up. Hold on.
If you try and say you're 5-6 and a half, I'm honestly going
to kill you because you're not. I'm 5-6 and a fucking half
bitch. OK, What is the average height
of a 30 year old woman in the UK?
31. Shut up.
Five foot 3 inches. So suck on that bitch.
Why is Jess gasping? Jess is shit.
Absolute 53. We'll have a bunch of pushkins
walking around here. That is not actually an
accurate. But they're all in like Somerset
and Cornwall in Wales. They're not in London.
I feel like that's wrong. Munchkins running around London.
No, I'm sorry. But you just don't see them
because you're so fucking tall. Yeah, true.
Just not let them all down. Look, I'm not being funny.
You're not short, but you're not tall.
What I what I lack in height, I make up for in personality, I
think. I think they've got a very tall
personality. Telling.
Yourself that fucking hell, man. Kick a dog when it's down.
You know what I mean, Joe? What?
Is there not a small Dick Energy?
Yeah, small men's energy. Well, me or her.
No, me, yeah, I'm giving Chihuahua that will like bite
your ankles kind of vibe right now, but.
That that's the only place you can reach because you're that
short. Oh, good one.
Yeah. So going into the events, we had
one recently at the Garden Bar that was so much fun.
Feral as always. We haven't even discussed wine.
Night wine night. OK, so let's go from wine night
first. So wine night we had a few weeks
ago, I think when was it that we I don't know it doesn't matter
just over 2 weeks ago and no it's more than that now like
over three like almost a month. It is a fever dream because it
was actually. A lot has happened, so a lot
starting off with wine. Wine night.
So we had wine night at least as
Italian on Portobello Rd. and it was so nice because it was an
older crowd. I mean, not to say like the
crowd is so eclectic at the bar anyway, like at the pub nights,
but it was more of an older crowd and women that wanted to
have more of like a sophisticated, maybe like bit
more chill night. And by the way, if you don't
drink wine, that's not a problem.
It's just called wine night. But everyone was just having
such a good time on great form. It was the first one that we've
done. It was so fun.
It was a lot of fun and definitely think that we should
get a DJ like coming up for like the next one there just to have
a bit of like a vibe, you know? It was such I can't wait for the
next one. My highlight of wine night
probably was Doctor Emily Wu. Let me give her a shout out
here. I love you.
What was Doctor Emily Wu? She was running.
Around running around with her cheeky grin as.
Always. Yeah.
Well, I love it. I absolutely love her.
She is. There's incredibly on him.
There's nothing more that fills me with joy when I'm on that
door and I just see Doctor Emily Wu's eyes and just her big grin
coming over to me. I thought.
Now the party started. Now the party is going honey.
Yeah, no, she is fantastic. To be honest, all of you are
fantastic. Like I have the best time
because I literally pinch myself every time.
I'm literally, I'm stood there speaking to amazing women who
are so inspiring, like have so many great stories.
And to be in the position to be able to hold that space for you
guys as the best thing ever. And I'm so glad that we started
doing this. So we also have, like,
personalized matches for the wine nights as well, which says
lesbian supper club on one side and then flick me on the other.
Then we had our coasters. It was like, get wet.
Was it get me wet? Yeah, get wet.
Were very fun and we had lovely gift bags from injectual.
We did. So Injectual have done us an
absolute solid. They love the lesbians and they
love keeping the lesbians moist and that's what I like.
We had like a bag full of creams, lace, cleaning oil.
And also anyone who has the tote bag, remember there's £100 off
voucher of your first treatment. Yeah, which is so worth it.
Which is so worth it because I saw a video of myself last year
in like the same situation. I was like stood in my kitchen
miming along to some song like an idiot.
And I did the exact same thing a year later, and I didn't realize
how much my face had changed. And it's all thanks to
injectual. And then when someone asked me
what have you had done? And I'm like, oh, not a lot.
And then I go to list it and I'm like, oh, I have actually this.
Was so funny you did that. Yes.
Was it? Yeah.
Still the day before she was listing everything.
And then she's like, oh fuck, I've actually had a lot of work
done, but you know, it's not. Fuck it.
The thing is, I've only had filler in a couple of places.
A lot of it is just Botox, but it's incredible how the Botox
actually changes the structure of your face and can really help
push out different details and accentuate different details.
So like my cheekbones are bigger even though I have had a bit of
filler in them. You've had your BBL.
I've had my Can you imagine? I need a BBL.
Get me a Brazilian butt lift ASAP.
I've literally got the flattest ass I've ever seen.
It's so bad. It is terribly flat and Jess is
nodding her head in disapproval and approval.
It's a love hate relationship. She loves me, I hate her.
And I hate you both. And you hate us both.
Very nice. Yeah.
So we had that.
That was great. And thank you so much for
injectual again, because you are sorting out my life and my
sanity. And with all of the absolute
despair that I go through, getting my face frozen in the
middle of it is potentially the best gift that I could ever get.
So yeah. So we did that and then we went
to Ibiza literally 2 days later, Yes.
Which myself, you and Jess. Yeah.
So it was a friend of mine who has this gorgeous, gorgeous
villa in Ibiza. And she was so beautiful enough
to let us stay there, which, honestly, I can't thank her
enough. No, it was like it was soaked.
It was so nice. So very grateful.
Yeah. So that was so nice.
And it was so needed. It was away.
Yeah, Yeah. Like I haven't been away from
London since May last year and with all of like the most
chaotic year ever. And then I was like, I need, I
just need to go. I just need to.
Think it was just good to get out of London and just escape
the madness and just have a week of.
Downtime. Yeah, I had my dyke dream.
Where the Ford Bronco, which fuck me I need one now.
Well. I think for the listeners, you
probably know the fear that I endured in the.
Bronco, you were fine. Everyone remembers last year
problem in the Jeep in Greece. Yeah, yeah.
However, yeah. So I did.
A stress. I was under stress this this
time. I mean, I booked a Jeep Wrangler
and I thought I was going to get a Jeep Wrangler, which obviously
is like half the size of a Ford Bronco.
Then they're like, we don't have it.
We have a Ford Bronco and I have a look at this car and I go
fuck. No, look, you weren't bad.
I'm not saying you were bad. However, because you tend to
drive a bit fast, sometimes you get a bit excited and the roads
are very windy, so sometimes when we were approaching a bend
I didn't think you were going to slow down.
Well, maybe I wasn't going to, because you know what?
On quite a few occasions I wanted to drive that car for
fucking Cliff and take you both with me to.
That's not fair on Jess and I. No, I mean, yeah, you know what?
I think Jess was asking for it, honestly, but it was, no, it was
amazing. It did have lane assist, thank
that. Yeah.
And it had like a satellite view when you were rehearsed
reversed. So that was good.
But just being there, and it's actually a very spiritual
island. A friend of mine, a good friend
of mine, Florence, if you haven't already checked it out,
actually, I was on Florence's radio show when I was out there
because the hustle never stops. And I really wanted to go on it.
And it was so fun to do that with her and let somebody else
be in the driver's seat of a recording.
And she is so fantastic, like the nicest, nicest woman.
And she kind of took us under her wing when we got there,
showed us around the island, took us on a hike up to.
Hike I forgot. And we set our intentions up
there over sunset because it's a very spiritual island and, and
is like a limestone rock where a lot of mystical happenings
happen there. And so it was really nice to do
that. Like I felt even though I I did
do a lot of crying on that holiday, like towards the end, I
felt like I needed to do that, Yeah.
I still wish I threw my phone off the Cliff.
I mean, I wish I did too. I really think I should have
just done that, but hey ho yeah, here we are.
Yeah, but but it was really good and I just, I needed that and I
need to get away again. I felt like because then when I
got back, everything got really hectic and I was like, oh shit,
get me back on that. Fly itch.
But I mean, I'm going away next Thursday.
OK, nice to Berlin, right? Yeah, Berlin, Berlin, Berlin,
baby. But I didn't go back home.
No. Have you met me?
I have, but I felt like Jess might persuade.
You. No, Jess wants to go somewhere
called Kit. Kat lesbians, if any of you have
been to Kit Kat, please DM us with your stories because this
place intrigues me so much. It is.
Is this the place with the pool? Yes, I'm terrified Pool.
I feel like Fred, you need to like look this.
Up Fred, people fuck in the pool.
I really want to go, I just want to see inside, have a little.
Let me know if you have any stories please, I'm desperate to
know. Look, I'm not one to kink shame,
but a pool fuck is no for me. Also a like a.
Communal. No, that's what I mean.
I don't mind a singular pool fuck, but a communal fuck?
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly.
And then you're going to fuck in the piss pool.
No, I'm sorry babe, that's a bit ranked.
You shouldn't be doing that, I'm sorry.
No, that's you're asking for it. You're asking for it, but.
What's just pushed me in the pool?
You are asking for thrush without you a bit of chlorine,
you know, not fun. Although I feel like sea sex is
way more fun. You can't be getting seawater up
there. Oh, why not?
Yeah, go on, give it a try. Get why don't you do the Thames
River Water put that. Oh my God, Can you imagine a bit
of vials disease? You'll get like.
How did she die? She got she got shagged in
Thames. In Thames.
In Thames, yeah. And then after that we then had
the pub night and the pub night was really, really fun it.
Was so much fun. The pub nights are getting
better and better. They sell out in they're so
silly instantly. It's so much fun. 500 women.
The best. I just remembered one point in
the night, our friend Olivia came running over to me.
She was like Olivia. Olivia's like, what?
She's like Freya needs Jess. And I was like, why?
She's like, I don't know. So I was like, Jess.
I was like, you're needed inside.
Oh my God. Purely just because you were
dancing on the table. No, it wasn't.
I was like fuck, because I didn't.
So basically Jess's phone was on the arts chord for the music and
everyone decided at this point to get up onto the tables and
the least vibeious songs were coming on and I didn't have your
passcode to unlock your phone. So I was going Elyria get Jess
and I was like still on the table.
I queued up some bangers to be fair.
I I just love now how just one person will get up on the table
and it's. Could you say I'm always
outside? I don't know some what is the
deciding point when the tables happen.
Do you know what I think? It's just, it's a vibe.
If someone's there, they see the first person getting on the
table. Can you let us know how it
escalates because I'm very confused.
I genuinely think it's like magic, like I feel like
something some an ancestor whispers into someone's ear and
goes get up. It's time, it's time.
And I love getting on the table too.
I mean, some organizer, I'm fucking up there.
Got to get involved. I get people like tease me to
get up and I'm like, no, because the last time I got up and the
table's really slippery because people take their drinks up and
then obviously dancing, they spill their.
Drinks I know it's the lawsuit waiting to happen.
Honestly, no one come for me. No, they can see the garden bar
but not. No, they can't.
It's just you take your own risk.
Okay, yeah, if you're getting up there.
Maybe I should make everyone sign waivers when they come into
the garden bar. I mean, nothings happened yet.
Fingers crossed. Knock on wood, but the girls
know how to dance. Yeah, and we've got Wine Night
coming up on the 20th, which is sold out, and then the Garden
Bar event on the 28th which is also sold.
Out God, it's all happening. But April events will be coming
out soon. And April's gonna be so good
with the Garden Bar, too, because of how, like, the space
will be so much bigger outside. Yeah, because it's kind of
closed off. They'll get rid of the monkey,
Yeah, and it's gonna be. Big It's gonna be a big old
lesbian. And they have the second bar
outside as well, which is gonna be so.
Far, yeah, lesbian cook up. It's just you.
Doing the BBQ. Yeah, I'm just there like apron
on. Nothing else.
Just an apron. Wow, why are you saying?
Oh you little fucking bitch. First you call me short.
Oh, Australian tour. First you why she look like
Edward Scissorhands. First you call me short and then
you you at me at wearing an apron with nothing else on.
Do you want me to have below 0 confidence?
Because I'm already there. What are you?
On about. Me.
God. Joe.
What? I'm sensitive.
There's. Absolutely not enough time in
the day for me to answer that question honestly.
Make time. I sit there.
Maybe I've got a humiliation king.
I can't tell me you hate me. What does it do?
I do not. I have the opposite of that.
Like nothing will turn me on less than if someone humiliates
me. Same.
I get so embarrassed, I get so shy.
No, I'm just like, why do you want to fuck me then if they're
like, you're not shocking humiliation, king.
Oh, I thought we'd just take. Us no, you know when someone's
like you're disgusting, you're this, you're that and it like
turns them on. Nah, Nah, I'm like, OK, you
think I'm disgusting. I'm going to leave now.
I'm out of here. I'm out of here if I don't know
what the fuck is coming out of my mouth today.
So that all happened. Brianna chicken fry.
I want to talk about this. So Brianna chicken fry was in.
If you don't already know, she was in the plan Bri podcast with
Grace Armani. Grace Armani, who I stand.
I love her so much too. Fucking love.
Her So Brianna was in Notting Hill the other day and I want to
just take a moment. What?
I was most annoyed. I'm annoyed, everything.
No, my most particular grievance with this is that she made a
TikTok in the cut that I usually stand in with Ziggy.
Yeah, whilst you're in Tesco. I know it's and she was.
There, do you know what? And if Ziggy was here, I reckon
we would have seen her. Yeah, she loves dogs too, so
that and watch. This space, because I, Brianna,
if you're listening to this, I really want her on.
I want her on so badly because now we've got a few headlines
rolling around which I'm intrigued by calling her a
lesbian. So she, I think she made a
statement saying like, maybe I'm a lesbian, that's why I can't
keep a relationship down with the guy.
Was that? And.
Now they're like. So it was along the line.
Farrell for Brianna, I don't know what her stance is on
sexuality. I have no idea.
I mean, I hope she is. I mean, the more the merrier.
I just want to go on a night out with her.
I definitely do. I don't think I'd survive though
in all honesty. You wouldn't.
I don't think you would. No, because I'd do anything that
she wanted me to do as well. Like I would just go to town.
Like, I don't know. You wouldn't sleep.
No sleep club, Another club. Yeah, I think she's.
Yeah, I'm I'm intrigued to see what will come from this.
Apparently loads of the lesbian lesbians in New York have been
sliding into her DM so. Hilarious.
I love that and talk about New York.
Gabby Windy and Robbie Hoffman just got married.
Yes, I saw that. I haven't seen too much.
Of Cosmo have been like all over it.
This marriage looks so cool because I love how low key it
is. The photos are insane.
Obviously Max Goswell, who we know was there.
Oh yeah. And I think he was covering the
wedding. I fucking love that.
So there's like a photo of them just like smoking outside the
Chapel. Like how are you?
But she is Gabby. If you girls don't know about
Gabby yet, you need to check her out.
She is so funny and she was actually on, I think she was on
The Bachelorette, wasn't she? Oh, I.
But like date man and then has like come out as gay.
Like how you looking at Jess? Like do you know?
No, she's cool. She's cool.
She's so funny. She's so funny.
She's like, if you were to take a young Jennifer Coolidge, mix
it with Moira from Ships Creek, that's her.
She is really, really funny, loves her wife so much.
She has so she says the most beautiful things about her and I
absolutely love that. So I'm super glad that they just
got married. I think they just kind of got
hitched kind of vibe. I love that.
I love that vibe of just getting hit.
Just getting hitched, Yeah, fuck it up.
Doesn't need to be a whole Hoo ha.
It doesn't. And The thing is like marriage
can look different on so many different people.
Some people might want the legal part and no party.
Some people might want the party and no legal part.
Some people want both. Like I think that it's we're in,
we're in a very good century now guys.
So we can just decide whatever the fuck we want to.
Do and what you do. What you want, That is the
motto. Do what you want.
Do what makes you happy. Talking about that, Trump.
Literally what I was about to say.
Let's talk about that orange prick.
I don't have a word for him anymore.
Jess and I were watching some tik toks last night and he was
coming up but I was literally like I am horrified.
And what makes it worse is when he's saying all these comments.
It's all the people in Congress around him standing up and
clapping. I'm like, what is wrong with all
of you? Because he's building a
dictatorship. Because he has fired anyone with
opposing views to him in his cabinet, which should be
illegal. I'm surprised it's not.
It's terrifying. So it shows he's going so far.
North Korea vibe that I genuinely think he's quite
literally like Putin's number one fan.
I believe. I think like I saw this meeting
the other day where it was like a photo of Trump and it was like
employee of the month to Putin. Like it is so awful what he did
to Zelensky. He did it on purpose.
He did a. That was off riot.
He. Humiliated him, he bullied him.
He's a fucking prick. And is that stupid vice
president as well, this stupid round penny looking?
Oh my God. Looks like he, they, they all
are the ugliest men I've ever seen in my life.
I've seen Twitter rinsing the vice president though.
Like making memes with him. Like, really, really fat.
Mum said that three had to play. Yeah, literally.
And you look at him and you're like, wow, someone dropped you
on your fucking head and then it's just ran you over and then
picked you up and you're like 2D like.
I feel like as much as everyone's laughing about it, I
mean like, this is fucking ridiculous.
Ridiculous. It's actually so sad that this
is reality. Well, this is a tactic, right?
So this is a political tactic. And what they do is that they
make it so ridiculous. So a bit like the Trump Gaza AI
video, right? They make it so far out there,
so ridiculous that people don't take it seriously.
Yeah, which is exactly what's happening.
Yeah, it's all real. He has ethnically cleansed, but
not him alone. But the US have ethnically
cleansed Palestine. Yeah.
And now he's saying they won't want to come back here where we,
you know, why would they want to come back to a place where they
had suffering and they had nothing?
We're going to create this fucking.
Sorry, that voice. Yeah, that's his fucking voice,
that he's saying that they now want to develop it, which was,
by the way, there were plans which everyone called me a
fucking conspiracy theorist for years ago when this all started,
there were plans of a development on the Gaza Strip.
And this is exactly what they're going to do.
They want to get rid of all of the Palestinians out of.
I had a debate with a man in a pub the other day about
Palestine. I'm just sick to death of it.
And it's about time that people started to have a bit of
humility, have compassion, have empathy and a bit of
intelligence. And I'm so done with it.
Like, Joe, what made me laugh though, Like on the in the video
of the Trump Gaza thing, the Trump supporters were going in
being like, hey, hey, I love Trump, but I didn't vote for
this. You voted for it of.
Course you did. You voted for this.
You. Absolute imbecile, but do you
know what? I'm almost, I don't want him to
do anything bad, but I'm always glad that he is To all those
Trump supporters that were in my DMS on my comments and I was
like, just wait and see. So kind of told you so you know.
Very scary. Time.
I feel sorry for the Americans right now.
It is going from bad to worse. And what I was going to say
earlier, I think he's gone so bad it makes me think that the
world is genuinely going to end soon and he knows it and they've
got somewhere to go. Really.
Like honestly almost like a last hurrah, fuck it all up.
Not going to have a fucking care in the world.
No consequences because him and Musk crew are going in SpaceX.
It's like, don't look up. Like I genuinely at this point,
it's that bad. I'm like, you're so brazen with
how ridiculous you're being with everything.
Then it makes me think that you. Oh.
God, I'm not ready for it to all end.
I've got things to do. But you know what?
It's the best way to go if everything ends in Mongo.
No I, no I. There's no missing anyone, it's
just. No, I agree.
I'm not saying. That's what I think.
So I think it's. Easy.
It's all going. Bam, gone.
Just. Don't and I'm like 9 I'm.
Just saying I'm not ready yet because I need I need a bit more
time. Like you're not ready yet, but
like there's nothing left like. There's not.
Yeah, we're talking about there's nothing left then.
Yeah, fine. Dead.
You won't know. But life's pretty good, you
know? Yeah, I I appreciate that.
But there is going to be something else, a parallel
universe that we'll all go into and.
Fair. I mean, we'll all be in hell, so
we'll just. I just see you there.
What? I was saying the other day, if
heaven in hell is real, I don't want to go to heaven like no one
I like is going to we've. Discussed this so many times.
We are all going to hell, and that's fine because all of my
best friends are going to be. There, Charlie, that's going to
be there. Yeah.
All my best friends, Michael Jackson, OH.
God, no comment. No, no.
Who is going to be there? Like all the greats?
Like Betty White. Betty White?
I'll find her there. Dolly Parton.
Kardashians will be there. The Kardashians will have a
great time. Yeah, honestly.
And I'll be in heaven, what with fucking Anne Frank and Greta
Thunberg. Hayley Bieber.
I like Hayley Bieber. But she's very religious, so
she's definitely. Going and I'll just.
Be sat there like, So what? We're gonna Frank.
Frank. Rosa Parks will be up there.
To be fair, not saying that they wouldn't be good conversation
list, but I don't think it'd be very fun.
Do you know what I mean? Like where's the fun in?
That. Frank, I don't know where that
came from. I'm sorry guys.
I do not have Frank. I read a book.
Who else would be in heaven that'd be a bit rogue to talk to
Mother Teresa? Yeah, she'd be kind of cool.
Morgan. Freeman.
Morgan, you can't have heaven without Morgan Freeman because I
feel like he's going God, if I get to heaven, Morgan Freeman
isn't there to go. Hello.
He's standing at the gates. I'm like, I made it, OK, Yeah,
no, let's be real, none of us have actually done anything to
go to hell if that's the case, you know?
No, but if I go enough, what the bloody Bible says, off we go.
No, because the Bible, remember the interpretation of it is what
people use to suit their own narrative.
It's not real. God loves the gays.
Anyway, moving on from this, my topic of today that I wanted to
talk about. I've had a few discussions and
this has been throughout the course of my life really, But
actually more recently at the Y night, I was discussing this
with a really, really lovely girl.
And it brought me back to these conversations that I would have
when I was younger and like younger gay people when I was in
that crowd before people were out.
And it's the sentiment of this. I want to come out to my
parents, but I want to wait until I'm in a relationship
first to do so. OK, let's discuss.
I Yeah, OK, So I find this really interesting because when
I came out, I was 17 and it was when I was in a relationship.
And I understand why people do it, right?
Because you've got your person there, you probably feel a bit
more comfortable. However, you don't know how your
parents are going to react. And I'm just taking this off.
My experience, the way that my mom was when I came out was
really, really bad. And I think that had a huge
impact. Well, you don't know how your
parents are going to be right when you come out.
And if you're in a relationship, I think, yeah, that can cause
some strain, like what happened with mine, because my mom was
really bad. And then obviously my girlfriend
at the time knew that my mom was being bad that had she couldn't
come over to the house anymore, I had to lie to my mum when I
was going to see her. She also knew that I was lying
to my mum because I was in her company.
And it just, I don't know, I don't blame people for doing it
when they're in a relationship because I did it, but.
OK, combating. Sorry.
So I think it's potentially one of the worst things that you can
do. Yeah.
To wait until you're in a relationship with someone to
come out to your parents, because first of all, you're
putting that person in a very uncomfortable position.
And I'm talking by the way, like the people that I'm talking to
are in their 30s that still haven't come out.
Like, it's not like you and you were 17 in school.
We we owe it to ourselves. It's the fact that if we have a
girlfriend or if we don't doesn't change the fact that
you're gay. It's not like they're going to
miraculously accept you more because they see you with
someone. And if anything as well, they'll
probably put more judgement onto that person and be like, oh,
it's not that I just don't like them, you know, make your life.
And I think. It can put unnecessary pressure
because coming out is a huge thing in life.
You can lean on your friends for support, maybe your siblings,
other people. I don't think that you need a
partner. To support you through.
It so I have say could twofold on this.
I remember when me and my first girlfriend broke up, it kind of
wasn't a discussion with my mum anymore about like if I was gay
or not. Obviously I knew I was, but it
just didn't really come up fine. And then I got into my second
relationship and that was a bit of, I was worried to tell her.
And then I did. And she did get her knickers in
A twist for a bit. And then the girlfriend that I
was with at the time, I remember like two days later, she was
like, yeah, I was going to break up with you over the way that
your mum was reacting. And I was like, oh.
But this is what I mean. Right, I kind of The thing is
like. No, no, just really quickly so
you can get yourself into a relationship finally with
someone that you find after coming out to yourself really
struggling with the whole thing. It might also put them off when
you meet this person that could be your person that you haven't
come out to your parents. Because to be honest with you,
that would put me off. So if I met a girl and I was
really into her and she is like fully gay and has known for
quite a while and hasn't come out to her parents, it would
make me feel like that person wasn't, I don't want to say the
word ballsy but like wasn't headstrong enough but I think I
think. Because I experienced that now
going into like a new relationship and say that person
hadn't really fully come out to their parents and just has and
their parents have been a bit like not OK.
It's different. I think because I know what it
feels like. I'm very empathetic towards it
and I'm very understanding. I would never want to be that
person to be like, well, this is a fucking because I honestly
like, I don't see it. It's really different.
I don't think see it as a problem.
For me, if I'd see it as a problem if they hadn't already
come out, You're saying if they'd just come out and it was
a bit tragic, like I don't mind about.
I'm not saying. I don't mind about dealing with
the shit of the parents acting badly because that's not that
person's fault. OK, I don't care about that, but
OK, obviously different circumstances.
So say for instance, if they come from an extremely religious
background or things like this, which has stopped them from
coming out, that's very different.
I'm talking about plain old average family, like, you know,
and they just haven't come out and they're like, especially at
my age. Yeah.
You know, I would see it as a bit of a red flag.
I just would. I think that.
But but more than that, I don't want that to discourage someone.
I'm I'm not insult. I'm not saying that to be nasty,
but I mean it in the sense of like, you need to have that
self-confidence within you and the fact that you know that
you're gay and that is not changing whether you have a
partner or not. Yeah, I think as long as you're
like confident in yourself and you feel comfortable and if your
parents are a bit whatever and you're and you're fine with
like. You know, and especially when
like, you're no longer living with them, things like that, you
know, it's like, come on. And I get it.
It's really fucking scary. But we've all done it.
We've all done it, We've all been there.
And it is really hard and it's not a nice thing to do.
I think maybe even later on in life it might be a bit harder,
but because they've had longer, you're like, oh, fuck me, I'm
like 3132 and I'm coming out. And that's not a problem at all.
As long as, as long as I think for me, as long as you are
comfortable within your sexuality.
And by the way, I'm not talking about like friends or anything.
I mean in like a love interest way.
As long as that person is secure in their sexuality and they're
happy about it, then that's fine by me, you know?
But what it screams to me is internalized homophobia.
If they aren't, if they're not able to come out after so many
years of knowing that they were gay.
I don't agree with that. Really.
What do you think? Because some people are just
fucking scared. Like, yeah, it's it's.
Like they're always scared because of the judgement that
your parents are going to put on to you that you have.
No, you have. You don't know what they're
going to say. You're almost judging yourself.
But if you've been in the closet for so long and then you were
starting to like have these feelings, it's very scary
thought and like it's very daunting.
You're going into a completely, you know, it's scary.
That's what I'm saying. But if you've been in the closet
that like yes, I came out at 17, probably a bursting in disguise.
It's been out for 10 years now. I can't imagine now coming out.
I'd find that way more scary. It was funny.
I'd find it easier to come out now, but then that's all
different situations. That's what I mean.
That's what I'm saying. It's all relative like it's
very. Different persuasion because I
think the reason why I'd find it easier now is because I have my
own place and my own life. I'm not financially dependent on
my parents, things like that. Whereas before I was I was in
their space. I was financially dependent on
them. Yeah, I completely, you know, so
like, that's why I felt like they held more of the cards, so
I let them walk all over me when it came to that.
Yeah. I just think it's very dependent
and I think it just depends on the time.
I think if you want. To look at it in a really,
really, really black and white way, because we're aware of the
fact that there are different nuances which change the
situation. And I'm not, I'm not disagreeing
with that. But if we were to look at it in
a really black and white situation and you are genuinely
saying, OK, I'm going to wait until I get a girlfriend until I
come out. My concern is, is the fact that
that's just another hurdle that they're going to push back
against again. So they will then get a
girlfriend and be like, oh actually I'm not going to come
out because of XYZ, you know? It's really interesting.
I mean, I'd like people to write in and give their.
Experience. I'd be really interested to hear
about it because I mean, I had a girlfriend when I came out, but
I didn't come out. I was asked because I had a
girlfriend. Do you?
Know what I mean? Yeah, your mum just guessed.
My mum just guessed. I mean, it was a pretty easy
guess, but yeah, she guessed. And I was with a very
understanding partner throughout all of that.
And that was really, really nice, you know.
But equally, that girl wasn't with me in the country like she
was all the way in Brazil. So it's.
Probably very easy to separate that though.
Yes, but I felt very alone in it all, you know, and I I just I
just really worry and this is it more comes from like motherly
place of concern that you could potentially, you know, not ruin,
but but more a relationship because you decided that you
were going to come out whilst there with you and it adds a
whole other dimension of problems.
I just think the best way forward if that is your, if that
is what you're doing, if you're coming out when you're in a
relationship, I just think be as open and communicate with your
partner. And then if your partner has any
issues with that, then, you know, just be commutative,
commutative with one another. Would you?
Say you OK, Jess aside, say you met like a 30 year old woman.
As in as in 26 year old live meeting a 30 year old?
Woman, yes, right. And there's an interest there,
right? There's a really good
connection. You're getting it on.
You start a relationship with them.
And she then says I've actually been like dating girls for
years, like on and off, but I've been waiting until I've got a
girlfriend until I come out to my parents.
I probably. Well also, I think it depends
where we are in the world, right?
Where her parents live, they live around the corner.
You don't know how they're going to react.
Probably a bit or. Get your face smashed in.
Yeah, honestly, I honestly think though it's because I've been on
the receiving end of it. I'm very just like understanding
of the situation. I just don't I don't think their
parents having a problem would put me off If I'm if if me this
said 30 year old woman or in a very loving relationship, I
don't think I'd let it. OK, hinder.
I get it. So.
The way that I would view this differently, obviously
connection above everything and you're falling for someone.
It's so different because it's like you make so many
allowances, right? It's very easy to say, oh, I do
this, I do that if they've only just discovered.
That they're gay. Later on in life and then they
want to come out with a girlfriend that's different to
me than if they have known for like 15 years and still haven't
come out to their parents. Just to try them in here.
I feel like. It also depends on the
relationship that you've got with your parents, right?
Like when I was like classifying myself as probably like by like.
Even when I was like with a guy, I would not talk about that with
my parents. Like even when I started dating
a man didn't tell them for multiple months.
Very valid point because I was the exact same.
You know, like it's not something I would organically
speak about. So like, I don't feel the need,
like, you know what I mean? I totally get that.
I think like it's difficult. My main concern is is that I
would hate for if this was me and I was waiting to have a
girlfriend until I came out. I would really hate for my
parents to blame this person that I've fallen in love.
With Oh yeah, yeah. That's what I, I'd be concerned
about because they might be like, well, you weren't gay this
whole fucking time and now you never hurt.
Yeah. And then it's like, boom, we
fucking hate her. Whereas if you have, that is if
they're bad, right? Whereas if you had already come
out and then they're thinking the worst and then you bring
home this gorgeous girl that you've met who's so lovely, that
then can be like, oh, I've changed my mind.
I mean, isn't about you in this situation.
I think if your parents are doing that, you've got bigger
fish to fry then like, yeah, you know, like if they're saying
like you're gay because there's one person, like there's bigger
issues here. But baby, you'd be surprised,
like it happens a lot, that that's the problem.
This is why it's an area of concern for me, because parents
would rather blame anything else rather than IE themselves.
Because they believe it's their fault that you are gay and they
see it as a bad thing. I mean, I thank my parents if
they made me gay. Yeah, cheers.
Lisa genetically, I've won the genetic lottery.
I'm so glad to be gay. I just think that it's, it's
obviously it is every, everything that I say needs to
be taken with a big pinch of salt in this area because there
are so many different situations in which you can be in.
I'm just saying you are scared to come out just because you
don't want to like potentially disappoint them or something and
you're waiting until you have a girlfriend to do so.
Then maybe don't put that new person in the firing line and
take it because nothing is going to change whether you have a
girlfriend. A wife is not going to change
the. Fact that you are gay.
True. So just very interesting.
I'm go. I said I was like, honestly when
you do it, I said put me on the phone.
I. Texted my mum and told her yeah
I'll text them. I sent her an iMessage.
I don't actually see anything wrong with that.
Because if you're terrified. I mean, it went down like a sack
of shit, but we are where we are.
I mean, didn't she storm over to the house?
Yeah, she was at my grandma's house and she just came bombing
over and she had the side door open and I thought, oh, here we
fucking go. Here it goes, Here it.
Comes It's all good now. We love mum.
My mum loves Jess, so happy days I love.
Lisa, I think that when you come out as well, you can come out
like that. I think you can.
I think you can do an iMessage, send them an Instagram DM, send
them an e-mail, request money via PayPal and put it in the
caption. I'm gay A.
Fax. Yeah, fax them.
Send them a postcard. Yeah.
If you didn't get my fax, that's that's on you.
That's on you. I don't know what to say.
Air drop them. Air drop them a photo of Ellen
DeGeneres and go. Guess what, Mum?
What other ways could you do? Just hit him with a guess what
me and Ellen DeGeneres have in common.
Because me and me and Perry always pretend we send each
other messages from different things.
I'm just I now can't think. I'd send them a personalized
T-shirt that says my daughter's a rug muncher.
Oh. God.
My daughter Hartsmenge go proud Mom of the Year award with a
rainbow underneath. Send them tickets to Pride.
Send them tickets to Chapel
Rome. Yeah, I think bring facts back.
You could typewrite them. You could do a hostage style
letter with cutouts from magazines.
There's many, there's many ways girls, you could write a song.
You could 100% write a song. You'd do that.
I think I'd get Becky Jones to do a cameo video.
Oh my God, yeah. I get someone to do it.
I should do cameo of like, by the way, you pay you not to
speak to me. You pay me not to speak to you.
Honestly, how much? I'd happily not fucking speak to
you. The less I have to look at your
face, the better. The.
Limit does not exist. The limit does not exist.
Pay me to not speak to you. Oh my God, I would so get Becky
Jones to do that. I'd get Grace O'Malley to it so.
Yeah, but Becky Jones actually does cameos, so that's why I'm
like, it would work. I feel like Grace would do it
for a good. Price 70 lbs.
She probably has. 70 lbs I think.
She probably would have upped the price as of now, but. 70 lbs
Look. She's becoming a national
treasure. I not becoming she is one but 70
lbs a bit sleep babe, come on. You should see how much some
people charge on cameos. Should I start going on Cameo?
I get nothing. I usually do it for free like
people will be like can you send me a video?
It says have birthday to my friend.
I'm like, yeah, OK, go. On go on then I have to do.
It at the event sometimes quite funny.
Oh, and one last thing, going back to the event, there was a
girl that everyone kept thinking with Scarlett.
Oh yeah, that. But I didn't think that she
looked like her. She's a pretty girl.
She's tall, she's brunette. But like, I didn't think that
she looked like Scarlett. And when I was stood there with
her, people were coming up and they were like, when's the next
episode coming out to her? Yeah, I didn't.
I I didn't see the resemblance. But no.
But yeah, kept happening. I thought, you know what, if it
stopped people from asking me where Scarlett was, It made it a
lot easier to be honest. I don't mean that to be harsh.
No, I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to bond to
that. No, I mean, because it's a bit
awkward, isn't it? Then I wear Scarlett and I'm
like. No, obviously a lot of you have
been asking where Scarlett is, and I think we've just been in a
bit of a teething of like figuring out how dynamics are
going to go. But you know, you'll see her at
the next events, You'll see everyone's faces.
Yeah, exactly. Threat There's a lot going on
for Scarlett as well, and she's obviously still going to be
doing episodes. She's also got all of her
amazing bike content that she's doing.
The girl is going to smash it, she's really going to smash it,
and I'm really proud that she's going forward with the things
that she really, really likes to do.
We'll discuss that more on the next episode.
We will, we will, but there's only a lot of love and care
there and I don't want you guys to go anywhere.
I know that there's change, but change can sometimes be good,
and there's a lot this year coming up already.
Can I just say something as well?
Can everyone please start submitting horror stories again
because you guys have stopped and I need more because I think
they were feeding me. Yeah, I think because we stopped
asking for them though, in all fairness, so.
That needs to be started. Again, Yeah, drop in your
lesbian horror stories and what I'm thinking of doing as well.
People used to e-mail as well. E-mail us the emails there.
I do still get some emails but I have been so hectic that I
haven't read them so that's on me.
But I want to do a full episode that is just lesbian horror
stories. Yeah, they were so funny.
And by the way, like I met some of You Beautiful girls at the
event, and you were saying, like a lot of you were saying that
you fall asleep to the podcast. They say that they listen to it
to fall asleep and then listen to it properly the next day,
which is really sweet. So what I'm going to start doing
is hypnosis. What?
Yeah, just randomly dropping in things so that when they're
asleep their subconscious is getting it.
So you just want everyone to dream of you?
Yeah. Are you dreaming of Maybe I?
Think we need to wrap this up. I need to get in that sunshine.
I think it's gone in. I know I do too.
Anyway, lesbians, what a time to be alive.
Love you all so much and we will speak to you next week.
Goodbye, goodbye.