1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:13,280 You nasty little bitch. Hello, lesbians. 2 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:17,440 Hi everyone, welcome to this week's episode of the Lesbian 3 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:19,560 Supper Club Podcast. I'm just going to jump straight 4 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:24,080 in and ask if anyone has seen the Real Housewives of Beverly 5 00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:26,120 Hills reunion. This is. 6 00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:31,520 Breaking news. Kyle is getting a good old 7 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:37,120 grilling, Ari. Her situation, lesbian filled 8 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,400 situation with singer Morgan Wade. 9 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:44,880 I think we spoke about this a few months ago when Kyle 10 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:49,440 featured in Morgan's Video Music video and they were hanging out 11 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,440 all the time together and they had gone and oh, we. 12 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:54,560 Were saying they were fucking. Didn't that matching? 13 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:55,720 They're fucking. Yeah, I mean. 14 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:57,840 That's no surprise to anyone, no. 15 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:04,040 But an interview has surfaced whereby Kyle is getting asked 16 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:08,000 multiple questions surrounding Morgan like, well, are you a 17 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,680 thing? And instead of just saying no 18 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,640 like any normal person would do if they weren't seeing 19 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:18,040 something, she's very hesitant with every single response. 20 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:22,400 But what I found really interesting is the response that 21 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:27,040 she wasn't necessarily hesitant with or denying was when she was 22 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:31,240 asked would you and Morgan ever potentially be a thing? 23 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:35,120 So when she was asked if they were a thing, she said no. 24 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:37,520 But kind of no. But then yeah. 25 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:41,320 But then when they asked, would you ever consider being a thing? 26 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,560 She didn't say yes and she didn't say no. 27 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,400 She went, oh, I might, yeah, maybe. 28 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:50,440 So I controversially said to you, I actually don't 29 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:54,880 necessarily think this is potentially an issue with Kyle. 30 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:58,040 I think you don't think that it's an issue with her coming 31 00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:58,760 out. No. 32 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:03,680 Yeah, I think the problem here is with the Jan her little Jan 33 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:07,000 Morgan. Yeah, actually maybe doing the 34 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,919 whole fuck boy thing. And I think Cole has been played 35 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:11,039 by her first. Lesbian. 36 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:14,360 But also maybe the difficulties around her, like divorce. 37 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:18,080 True, like it might mean he. Fucking cares about him though, 38 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:20,400 'cause he might give a cheated on a left, right and fucking 39 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,080 centre. I couldn't give a fuck, but I 40 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,200 think that, like maybe that's what's making her cry, because 41 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:28,680 like, I genuinely think that Kyle will just own being bi, 42 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:31,040 queer, whatever. But also, it kind of hurt my 43 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,280 heart though, when I could see her crying, because that is 44 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,480 honestly what I fucking. Well, she's just been fucking 45 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,160 outed publicly, which is horrible. 46 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:38,800 Really bad. I don't think that he should 47 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,680 have done that. I really don't. 48 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,560 Yeah, but surely going into those because it's the reunion 49 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:44,800 thing of The Real Housewives. You. 50 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,080 I think if you watch Real Sorry if you don't watch Real 51 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:48,640 Housewives, by the way. But if you listen to this 52 00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:51,440 podcast, you're going to have to start it because we love it. 53 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:52,960 The same thing happened with Brandy. 54 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,920 Do you remember when Brandy said that she's sat with Denise 55 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:58,280 Richards? Yeah, so, but surely, like 56 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:02,680 legally they have to be prepped somewhat of the questions that 57 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:05,400 are going to be asked that she. Knew it was going to be asked of 58 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,280 her. What I love though, is Erica. 59 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:08,800 Erica was sat. There with like. 60 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:12,600 Stoic support, yeah. You could see in her eyes where 61 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,120 she was, like, it's all good, baby girl. 62 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:15,800 It's all good. Do you want me to laugh You for 63 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,040 more, though? Her sister. 64 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:19,640 What's her fucking name? Kathy. 65 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:21,520 Kathy. Her face. 66 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,120 She looked like she was on the wiser already. 67 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,760 She's just sat there like. Yeah, but I don't think. 68 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,880 Kathy looks like Donald Trump in a wig. 69 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:31,040 I think Kathy. Just didn't know what was. 70 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,480 Going, Yeah, But I think that's her whole thing. 71 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,920 She knows exactly what's going on all the time. 72 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:40,480 She's very calculated, yeah. So she knows how to play stupid 73 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,640 whilst actually manipulating everyone in the room. 74 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,200 Yeah, so she'll fucking know. She will know I love. 75 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,560 Kyle, so much so when we go out to, by the way guys, we're going 76 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:50,720 out to LA this year, just just putting. 77 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:51,880 That, Yeah, just dropping that in. 78 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:56,680 When we go out to LA this year, I have to find her and I want 79 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,480 her to be my best friend. I think there's not a problem 80 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,800 with us, like camping outside our house and ringing our 81 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,080 doorbell every now and then. I'd walk our dogs because I'd 82 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:05,520 read that That's what I was about to say. 83 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:07,880 I'd really just love to spend some time with all of our dogs. 84 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:10,480 Yeah, I really love her dogs. That would be the winning. 85 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:13,280 Like I I love her because of how much she loves dogs. 86 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:14,960 Yeah, that's like a big thing for me. 87 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:19,959 It's been a big Kyle's constant green flag throughout all 88 00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:24,160 seasons of The real House of Beverly Hills is her dogs. 89 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:28,040 Couldn't agree more. Oh God, I just. 90 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:32,240 But yeah, being outed publicly, it's just fucking shit. 91 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:34,880 It's just horrible. Regardless of if she. 92 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,680 It felt very sorry. It felt very much the same as 93 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:41,960 the Krish L&G Flip selling Sunset Reunion. 94 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,880 No, it didn't. It felt a lot worse because in 95 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:46,480 the reunion, Krish L was owning it. 96 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,680 She was like, yeah, I've met. They were still grilling her. 97 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:50,440 Really. Quite they were, but nowhere 98 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,360 near as bad as this. And Chrishell already had the 99 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,680 power by already outing herself, right? 100 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:58,320 So this is that's very different to being outed. 101 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,600 Fair enough if you know people are asking uncomfortable 102 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,840 situations, but I do think that that was irresponsible of them 103 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:06,720 to do. Andy Cohen is a gay man, baby. 104 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:08,400 Showbiz. But he's a gay man and I know 105 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,880 for a fact to be a cunt. Andy Cohen, is he? 106 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,840 Izzy, I didn't. I honestly, I didn't think he. 107 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,440 Was gay. You didn't know who? 108 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,960 No. I I honestly thought he was a 109 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:22,720 straight man. No, that has shocked me. 110 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:23,720 You. Yeah. 111 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:27,560 I swear that to God needs a bit. I thought Andy Cohen was no, I 112 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,400 don't care when it comes to men. I thought Andy Cohen was a 113 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,280 straight man. No, fuck no. 114 00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:35,600 My God, he's hold on. I've just. 115 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,640 Got that? Makes it even worse that if he 116 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:40,200 is a straight man and he is grilling another part of the. 117 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:41,280 Community. You mean gay man? 118 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:44,560 Sorry, gay man. If he is a gay man and he's 119 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:49,520 grilling another member of the community in that way, hang on, 120 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,040 we're just Google. He's straight, isn't he? 121 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:53,680 He's gay. Has it said he's gay? 122 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:57,000 Where gay? I'll put Andy Cohen gay. 123 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:00,640 Openly gay? Oh. 124 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:03,320 Showing us the first openly gay host of American late night talk 125 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:08,000 show. Fuck, I'm so surprised that you 126 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,080 didn't know that he. Was gay? 127 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:13,360 No idea. He's like little orange face. 128 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:17,080 I had no idea. So yeah, this makes it even 129 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:21,720 worse that he. Would I know? 130 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:25,240 Happily and because I know it's their job, but like, happily and 131 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,200 openly grill. I wouldn't have done it. 132 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,840 Potentially a member of the community, or even if not a 133 00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:33,160 member of the community, anyone about being queer. 134 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:36,040 Just like I think it's fine, like in media, if you're in the 135 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:39,440 public eye, to accept that people are going to talk about 136 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,960 things and assume things, and sometimes they may be right, 137 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,840 sometimes they're really fucking wrong. 138 00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:47,760 And that is the part, sadly part of being in the public 139 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:48,680 different. Grilling in it. 140 00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:51,440 It's different. Very different. 141 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:56,120 A news article writing a little fucking paragraph on you is very 142 00:06:56,120 --> 00:07:00,000 different to you being placed in a room full full of your 143 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:05,080 friends, actually your family there as well, and being grilled 144 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:10,080 on your sexuality in person. Is is is very different? 145 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:13,240 Yeah, exactly. Well, I just want to let Kyle 146 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,120 know because she clearly listens to the podcast. 147 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,840 We support you. We support you. 148 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:19,680 I love you. And if you ever just need 149 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:21,200 someone to give you a nice little hug. 150 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:25,000 If you ever just need, you know, some new queer girly pops, we'll 151 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:26,360 do it. We'll do it, yeah. 152 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:27,880 But yeah. 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We love you, Ripple. 173 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:26,360 Moving on from this, like something really similar. 174 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:29,240 Actually, what we wanted to talk to you today was being gay at 175 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:30,040 school. Yeah. 176 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,720 So being outed potentially or or. 177 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:36,360 Being or just being a gay person at school, even if you're not 178 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,600 out. I wanted to talk about this from 179 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:43,000 like my and our own experience of what that was like for us 180 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,360 growing up. Now I know I've, I definitely 181 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:47,680 have spoken before on this about like my coming out, and I think 182 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:50,560 that's entirely different. Also, when I came out, I was 21, 183 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:55,760 so I was the the closet was literally sewn shut from the 184 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,400 insides. But when I was at school, what I 185 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:02,880 want to talk about that was so kind of traumatic is when you're 186 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,840 younger and I don't know what it's like now for for kids at 187 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:06,680 school. I really don't. 188 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,600 I hope it's better. I think it is better in some 189 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,480 cases. Sometimes you know you still 190 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:11,960 think. In some countries it's better. 191 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,880 I definitely. I mean we can only really speak 192 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:18,640 from the uki do think from speaking with younger people and 193 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,600 parents of younger people it is better. 194 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:27,400 There are a lot more protections in place, open conversations in 195 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,480 place. And also young people today are 196 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:35,480 consuming media in all angles. I mean, particularly TikTok, 197 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,440 Yeah. And there is an awful lot of 198 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:43,040 representation on TikTok. So I don't see how they could be 199 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:46,920 exposed in such positive ways consistently and then go and be 200 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,880 homophobic in school in large scales. 201 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,240 I'm not saying you're still going to get the odd little 202 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,880 piece of shit. Yeah, no, I'm just on about my 203 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,920 previous experience. So, so now that I preface that 204 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,440 like if anyone saw me at school and if anyone's listening to 205 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,760 this, who went to fucking school with me, I know you all thought 206 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,720 I was gay because you all called me gay. 207 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,760 You called me a dyke. You called me a lesbian. 208 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,720 Being gay in school in the early like, OK, so like what, mid 209 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:12,880 2000s? We're talking like 2008 to 2000 210 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:19,640 and 1415 was horrible. Hold on, I left school. 211 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,760 Yeah, but I'm talking sixth form as well. 212 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:24,320 I went to a sixth form. OK, I left school in 2000 and. 213 00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:27,880 Ten I left school in 2012. I Oh my God. 214 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:30,640 I was like, someone wants Chuck to fucking Jack a potato. 215 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:33,080 But. Not for being gay, though. 216 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:36,440 No, but no. But like, I was actually in a 217 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,680 relatively, like, popular group of people knew that I was gay. 218 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:41,640 Like they sensed it before I did, right? 219 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:44,720 So they'd always make comments. So then what I'm trying to get 220 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:47,720 at is what's worse than what happened there? 221 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:50,680 Because obviously other girls got it a lot worse. 222 00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:53,360 You know, girls that were a lot more kind of like Butch 223 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:56,720 presenting would literally get heard that you're a dyke, you're 224 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:59,560 a lesbian. They'd always yelling it, go go 225 00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:01,280 gay all the time. And I went to an all girls 226 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,680 school as well. So being a lesbian in an all 227 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:07,240 girls school is literally you're asking for people to think that 228 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:09,720 you're a predator. And that's the worst part 229 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,360 because I remember the girl would walk into the changing 230 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,440 rooms and everyone would cover themselves up. 231 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:17,160 He was like, you're a Dick, like you're such an asshole. 232 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,920 And and then that's why I didn't come out because I saw how badly 233 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,200 the other ones were getting treated. 234 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:22,800 So I was like, I don't want to be. 235 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:27,000 I've just found my group and I want to stay safe and I kind of 236 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,320 didn't know anything about myself. 237 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:32,080 But what this led to was really dangerous behaviour. 238 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:40,520 So I would go out and I would be very underage, like 15, and I 239 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:46,760 would sleep with the guys and do things with guys I really, 240 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:50,480 really didn't want to do. And mainly because I knew that 241 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,840 it was going to get back to the group that I had done that. 242 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:55,000 In yeah. So it was kind of like, they're 243 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:58,960 not going to think I'm gay if I've given a handy to Tom. 244 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:05,760 I had it different where I definitely like HID under the 245 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:11,360 radar very, very well. I was also in the quote UN quote 246 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:15,800 popular group, which I actually hated because I didn't. 247 00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:19,400 So I liked half of the girls in the group. 248 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:22,080 I didn't like the other half of the girls in the group, but I 249 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:26,920 also just didn't like the group mentality that happens within 250 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,480 those groups. And I also didn't like the fact 251 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:31,600 I fucking joined in on it sometimes as well. 252 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,200 And I would feel uncomfortable whilst doing it. 253 00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:39,080 But it was kind of because again, I'd had so many bad 254 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:42,720 experiences with school when I was in year seven, you know, it 255 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,480 was awful. I was so desperate to just fit 256 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:53,120 in and not be the victim of the IT was just, I wouldn't say it 257 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:56,480 was bullying, I would just say it was just shit bagness. 258 00:12:56,800 --> 00:13:04,720 So I hid it really well, but I knew deep down probably from the 259 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,320 eight. I mean we've spoken about this a 260 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:12,560 bit like 8, even younger. It wasn't something that was 261 00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:15,040 like at the forefront of my mind, but it was definitely 262 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:19,000 something. I, looking back now, hid within 263 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,280 myself every single day of my school life. 264 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:26,480 Because when all of my friends were talking about the good 265 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:29,520 looking boys on the playground and I was joining in on those 266 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:34,120 conversations knowing I was lying, but I didn't consciously 267 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:38,120 feel like I was lying. But it felt uncomfortable for me 268 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:43,200 because I knew that I didn't feel and view these boys the 269 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:46,680 same way as that my friends did. I also was obsessed with my PE 270 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:52,200 teacher like I loved her. Classic Must be listening to 271 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,240 this. I love you. 272 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:59,680 I I don't even know why. Because she wasn't, yeah. 273 00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:01,000 But her. Breath stunk. 274 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,160 Her Breath stunk. Yeah, but I really hope she's 275 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,640 not listening to this. She had quite her name, but 276 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:06,280 like. She was. 277 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:08,280 She had quite she had a good body to be, yeah. 278 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,160 And. Like the Jani personality 279 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,800 though. She's very, very queer coded. 280 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,240 Because maybe because. I'm pretty sure she was 281 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:15,000 straight, by the way. Oh. 282 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:17,080 But maybe because you related to her. 283 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:19,720 Yeah, she was queer coded, but I'm pretty sure she was 284 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:21,600 straight, really. I mean, she was outwardly 285 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:26,160 obsessed with Mr., Who was our other PE teacher, A guy. 286 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,360 And she was like, quite literally, we head over heels 287 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,600 for him. Outwardly, everyone spoke about 288 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:33,240 it, so I'm pretty sure she wasn't gay. 289 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,440 I mean, she could be now, but. She might not have been. 290 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,960 She was young, though she was quite young as well. 291 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:43,680 I honestly, I I found every day to be uncomfortable knowing that 292 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:45,960 I was gay and I wasn't living my true self. 293 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:49,320 I knew that I felt so entirely different to everyone else. 294 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,280 The way that I would describe it is you've all gone out for a 295 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:54,120 meal and everyone absolutely fucking loved their food, but 296 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,200 you didn't and they're all ranting and raving about it and 297 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:57,280 so. You pretend to like it. 298 00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:59,000 Pretended to like it. You don't want to let anyone 299 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,560 down. That was genuinely how it felt. 300 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:04,760 Like you I just. I wanted to be straight. 301 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:05,680 So. Bad. 302 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:09,840 See, I didn't. I felt so false in my existence. 303 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:15,080 I was desperate to find my peace, which is why when I met 304 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:20,920 my ex and she had a gay group of friends, that awakening for me 305 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:26,520 or that finding that community for me was so liberating, I 306 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,040 can't even describe. Yeah, but I think that you 307 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:32,280 describe it better than me. You interpreted that feeling 308 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:34,320 better than me because ultimately that's what I wanted 309 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:35,720 as well. And I thought the only way that 310 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,360 I could get that was if I was genuinely straight. 311 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:43,640 I didn't realise that that was a world out there for me and then 312 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:47,360 I knew that I could study in Brighton when I was 17, so then 313 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,920 I moved over there thinking this is going to be the gayest but 314 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:51,800 it. Wasn't though, was it? 315 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,400 No. I thought, this is going to be 316 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:57,400 the gayest time of my life. I cannot wait because I'm away 317 00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:02,000 from everyone that knows me and I can entirely be myself. 318 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,800 And that's when the internal struggle came in. 319 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:07,280 And can we also say that even though Brighton's really gay, I 320 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,520 was studying with a load of people who are my age, maybe 321 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:13,880 slightly older, and it still was in the time when being gay 322 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,760 wasn't an out and ready thing, even in Brighton, even sudden 323 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:18,640 'cause these people had come from all different walks of 324 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:19,680 yeah. But Vanille was gay. 325 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:22,800 Vanille was gay, but I felt. I still felt. 326 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,200 Was Vanille confident in her sexuality? 327 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:27,520 Very confident, Vanille. She's a friend of shit. 328 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,520 She literally grew up in a commune. 329 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,760 She never had to care. But The thing is for me is that 330 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:34,400 she was the only other really like openly gay one there. 331 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:35,960 You need to understand what this was like for me. 332 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,160 I thought I was going into pussy heaven. 333 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,720 So you thought that and I went to finally find like safety and 334 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:42,920 actually you didn't even find it? 335 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:44,560 There I didn't find anyone that was there. 336 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:48,000 I found this one girl that I was semi sleeping with. 337 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:52,240 It was a really weird situation. God, she gave me the ick so 338 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,280 badly that I don't know if I can even recover from it to this 339 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:58,120 day. And she was, Yeah. 340 00:16:58,680 --> 00:16:59,960 And. And it wasn't really her fault. 341 00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:02,320 She was just a little bit Nancy. Like, do you know what I mean? 342 00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:04,160 And. Like that is her fault. 343 00:17:04,319 --> 00:17:08,400 Yeah, true. But I I remember when I I want 344 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:10,160 to talk about this story because it's funny. 345 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:14,000 I remember when I met her and I ended up just like making out 346 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,000 with her on this dance floor. And then we went out for like a 347 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,040 cigarette and she was like, oh, so what's your deal? 348 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,440 Like, are you straight by? Was it? 349 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,440 It wasn't even like gay was an option. 350 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:28,319 I was like, no, like, I'm, I'm straight fucking loser. 351 00:17:28,319 --> 00:17:30,880 So I kind of let myself down. But I think it was because of 352 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,960 the years of oppression that I had at school. 353 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:38,240 Yeah, I tried to convince myself so much that even when I was met 354 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:41,520 in the face of someone, yeah, but if if it was like a gay 355 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,960 group and I felt really confident, no, Because different 356 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:44,240 for. Me. 357 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,800 No. Because when I met my ex on a 358 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:51,720 dating app, I owned it. Then from the moment that I 359 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,120 found another gay thing. No, I'm not saying I'm just 360 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:55,480 saying. It's funny how. 361 00:17:55,960 --> 00:18:01,760 But then on top of all of this school stuff, I didn't have my 362 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,680 mum in my back pocket. Basically hate criming me. 363 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,080 Very true. So you had another. 364 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:10,040 Layer But you openly did have a gay thing going on from the age 365 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,960 of 14. So no, it wasn't at school. 366 00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:15,040 No, but I mean, like you had an ongoing gay. 367 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,920 Oh, so did I I had gay shit going on when I was at school. 368 00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:23,760 Yeah, I like going through school was really tough, hiding 369 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:27,480 who you are. But I didn't have anyone to 370 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:32,680 reflect myself with or to. As soon as I found that I just 371 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,320 owned it. Yeah, that's fair enough. 372 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,640 Because I think I was just so. But I think this is where, like 373 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:44,520 my sense of self and like my justice complex comes in, where 374 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:51,840 once I had found someone else to kind of justify how I felt, no 375 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:55,360 one was going to make me feel bad for the person that I am. 376 00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:57,080 Do you know what put me back in the closet though? 377 00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,880 What? Because like when I was in 378 00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:03,720 Brighton and I just remembered that and and I really, it's 379 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,400 something that I haven't been able to stop thinking about. 380 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:11,040 There was this girl who looked gay. 381 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:14,120 I thought she was gay, OK? Just thought she was gay. 382 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,040 She acted gay. She looked gay. 383 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:20,040 Thought she was gay. We were at a house party and I 384 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:23,120 was just like really drunk. And like, we were kind of like 385 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,800 flirty. And I went to go and kiss her 386 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,880 and she looked at me and she went, Freya, no, I'm not. 387 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,200 I'm not gay. I'm not like that. 388 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:31,640 And we. Just searched on social media 389 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:32,720 said. Yeah, yeah, she married to a 390 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:33,840 man. Oh, which is? 391 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:35,560 Absolutely. Fair enough, right? 392 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:36,800 By the way, that is fair enough, yeah. 393 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:39,480 But it was fair enough that she wasn't into that and whatever. 394 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:44,920 But I felt so ashamed and I felt so sick. 395 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,560 Yeah, but this is because I think at the time as well, you 396 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,280 had so much internalised homophobia, you were going about 397 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,640 this all wrong. So you were going out. 398 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:56,240 You weren't living your truth in your broad in the broad 399 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,040 daylight, right? So what you were doing is you 400 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:02,280 were going out getting absolutely fucked up because you 401 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:05,840 could excuse it to yourself if you had a queer thing whilst you 402 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:10,960 were so drunk it wasn't real. So you were then doing that and 403 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:15,240 then making these poor judgement calls like trying on with girls 404 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:18,600 who hadn't actually told you that they were straight despite 405 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,760 your assumption, and then looking they were gay despite 406 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:23,440 your assumption and them looking so. 407 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,800 So then what you were doing, you were coming on to them, you were 408 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:30,360 getting rejected, which was then further enhancing the hatred you 409 00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:32,520 felt towards yourself. I mean, she was the only person 410 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:34,720 who rejected me, but I still fucking bear this burden. 411 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:37,840 Hold on, let me I've got to find her now. 412 00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:40,880 Because I need you to be like, yeah, she looks gay. 413 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:42,880 Or you look at it and you go, yeah, but I do. 414 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:47,080 Think, and I like shout out to you guys listening as well. 415 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:49,760 Some of you will still be in the closet. 416 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:55,480 Do you think, because I do feel like this is a universal thing, 417 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:59,960 that people's schools experience, either delay them 418 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:04,320 from coming out or keep them in the closet? 419 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:08,960 Because I think we can all be so easily, like these are our 420 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:13,960 formative years, right? Being in, I mean, Americans 421 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,160 would call it high school, we call it secondary school. 422 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:20,760 Being in high school, being a teenager starting to try and 423 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:23,640 work out who the fuck you are. You're having intense 424 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:25,800 friendships, relationships, etcetera. 425 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,760 If you're doing all of that and not living your truth. 426 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:34,080 And then also hearing or witnessing homophobia, both 427 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:38,440 indirectly, directly within your friendship group conversations, 428 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:41,280 etcetera. You're going to be plastered 429 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:46,240 with shame. Did that delay you from coming 430 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:50,400 out or has it? If you're a straight listener, 431 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:54,160 you can send this in anonymously, quote UN quote. 432 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:58,560 Straight has those kind of actions and words that your 433 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:03,840 peers spoke to you in school or spoke around you in school. 434 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:05,360 Do you think that's hindered you? 435 00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:09,120 Because despite me coming out when I was like just about to 436 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:15,880 turn 19, if I was in a school environment where I saw more 437 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:17,800 people like myself because there would have been more people like 438 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,200 myself. But obviously they were just all 439 00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:24,440 in the closet too and the fucking education system was 440 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,960 addressing it. We didn't have one gay fucking 441 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:29,960 conversation in any of my lessons. 442 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:34,000 Not talking in fucking geography, not talking in 443 00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,480 history. Oh yeah, she looks gay. 444 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:41,160 Not talking in English, like all of these queer novels, like 445 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,320 everything. None of this was mentioned. 446 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:48,960 If that had of been addressed, I think I would have worked out 447 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:53,120 consciously who the fuck I was a lot sooner. 448 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,760 And I think it's really sad. Like our education system 449 00:22:56,760 --> 00:23:01,480 definitely has a role to play in fucking helping people accept 450 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:06,160 who they are and educating bigots as well, from bullying 451 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:09,480 and harassing the LGBTQ plus community. 452 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:14,080 Yeah, but we're talking very much in the past tense. 453 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:16,680 I know some of you listening to this will be actually going 454 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,560 prayers just showed me the girl that she came onto. 455 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,080 And yes, she does absolutely look lesbian. 456 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:22,960 Like 100%. No two ways about it. 457 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:28,240 Some of you listening will be in school, in college, quite 458 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,880 literally going through this, I hope. 459 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:35,880 First of all, you can't relate because things have got so much 460 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:39,680 better if you can relate. The only piece of the advice 461 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:43,520 that I can give you is that this will not last forever. 462 00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:47,800 These people that you have to be around sadly every day at the 463 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,880 moment. Going to school will not last 464 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:54,520 forever. And you will be out of there 465 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:57,960 before you know it, and you will find liberation, and you will 466 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,600 find your peace, and you will find your. 467 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:04,560 People, Yeah, listen to me when I say these are not the best 468 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,440 years of your life. Whoever says that to you? 469 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,240 Is lying. Whoever said school the best 470 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,680 years of their life peaked it. Fucking school. 471 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:12,400 Yeah. Lame. 472 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:13,480 Yeah. Yeah. 473 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,080 But also my mum says that sorry mum. 474 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,000 Does she? Yeah, my mum says it all the 475 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,120 time. Love school? 476 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:23,000 Best years in my life. Best years in my life, School 477 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:24,080 was. I loved it. 478 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:28,040 I was top of the class in history. 479 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:30,680 She says. It all the time and I'm like, 480 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:34,440 OK, Mum. But I think as well, like, I 481 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:38,320 kind of want this to be therapeutic to those who might 482 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,440 be still holding on to it. Like it could have literally 483 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:42,920 been 20-30 years ago that you were at school. 484 00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:46,320 I don't ever want any of you to like, hold that in. 485 00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:49,160 You being like that was really fucking rough because honestly, 486 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:50,480 like we've all fucking been there. 487 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,000 We've all done it. We've all come out the other 488 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,640 side. And if I could go back now, it 489 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,560 would be an entirely different situation. 490 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,160 I would own the fact I was fucking gay. 491 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,840 Obviously, you know, if you're in a safe space, etcetera, 492 00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,800 you're not going to get like kicked out or anything, say if 493 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,640 you're in like a, a country that doesn't accept it. 494 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:10,760 But I would own if I was back at that same school, but these 495 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:14,240 years and knowing what I know now, I would completely own it. 496 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,120 And also, you just take away the power off of everyone, like 497 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:18,920 holding it over, you'll be like, yeah, I am a lesbian. 498 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:20,080 Exactly. Yeah, but you do. 499 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,000 Not mean that lesbian, but yeah, I am a. 500 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:23,880 Lesbian. And The thing is, like a lot of 501 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:27,160 the stuff that we get feet like you guys comment on, etcetera, 502 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:32,480 all the time is, is that you love how much we love and own 503 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,880 who we are. And I love that about myself 504 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:37,800 now. But that wasn't always the case. 505 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:43,040 So if you. Feel a bit of self hate or wish 506 00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:46,640 that you could get to a point where you felt or feel how we 507 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:51,520 feel you will get there. It is just like growth. 508 00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:55,240 Totally. You just have to sometimes go 509 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:58,080 through these shitty things to be able to get to a point where 510 00:25:58,080 --> 00:25:59,160 you're like, actually, do you know what? 511 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:02,360 Fuck you. I don't care about irrelevant 512 00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:05,280 people's opinions. But as soon as you start to 513 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:09,440 realize that, you do free yourself of like, the only true 514 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:13,840 opinion I really care about when it comes to me and who I am as a 515 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,080 person is my own. Yeah. 516 00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:23,200 Do you know what I mean? Like I I have to care about what 517 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:26,800 I'm putting out there. Yes. 518 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,600 Like that means more to me to feel like I'm doing the right 519 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:34,280 thing with the best intentions, rather than someone telling me 520 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:35,160 if I am or. I'm not. 521 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,080 Yeah. And like, if I know in my heart 522 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,720 that I'm doing something with the best intentions, I could 523 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:42,040 definitely be wrong. Still with what I'm doing. 524 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:43,520 But at least I'm like, look, I didn't. 525 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,120 I didn't mean it. I didn't like me to be a cunt. 526 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:52,000 Ultimately, Oh, I want to talk to you lot as well though, about 527 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,080 how fucking expensive the fucking dentist is. 528 00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:56,320 Can someone do something about this? 529 00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:57,680 Didn't you speak about this last week? 530 00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:58,800 Did I? No. 531 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,760 I think you did expensive did because we went and recorded 532 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:04,240 straight after. No, we didn't. 533 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:07,240 Yes, we did. No, we didn't. 534 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:10,360 We did. Well, I'm saying again, no more 535 00:27:10,360 --> 00:27:12,600 expensive dentist. If anyone's a dentist on here, 536 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:16,280 can you give me a call, please? I'll let you look in my mouth 537 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:19,000 for free. We're recording in bed today, by 538 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,480 the way, which is fucking amazing. 539 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,680 I'm in my. Little I love Slumber. 540 00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:24,800 Ziggy snoring at the end of the bed looking really cute. 541 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:28,680 Do you know what Ziggy loves? Nothing more than laying in this 542 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,480 bed with us and hearing our voices. 543 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,480 Yeah, it sends him right off, doesn't it? 544 00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:35,280 We're like this white noise. Loves it. 545 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:40,840 So today's Horror Story is titled Please Call Her A Cunt 546 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,280 For Me, OK? Which obviously I'm I'm happy to 547 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:44,520 do any. Does she listen to the podcast? 548 00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:46,360 I don't know. She doesn't have to have done 549 00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:47,800 anything can I'd happily call her. 550 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:52,400 I can't. So this person has written in hi 551 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:56,120 LSE emailing from the land down under love Aussies. 552 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:58,880 I do love saying fucking love you Aussies. 553 00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:01,080 I think the Aussies are my favourites. 554 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:04,120 Yeah, I can't now. I can't pick a favorite. 555 00:28:04,120 --> 00:28:06,320 But I do love the Aussies. I think I'm going to have to say 556 00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:08,640 I love the Aussies. I mean, I've just expressed how 557 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,680 much I love the word cunt. So Aussie. 558 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:15,240 Aussie. Anyway, that was a fucking ick. 559 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:17,960 Oh God. Right. 560 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:18,760 Oh, no. Hold on before. 561 00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:21,240 We get on to this. Can we? 562 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:24,280 Freya's new obsession is husband calling. 563 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:27,560 OK, so I don't know if you lot have seen this, but on TikTok 564 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:31,560 there are videos of the Ohio women's contest for husband 565 00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:36,360 calling and they all basically have to get on a mic and display 566 00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:39,880 how they call their husbands to come in from something or to 567 00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,160 come in for dinner. So I've got 3 favourites. 568 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,040 One of them I will start with Randy. 569 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:53,960 Randy, no come for dinner. I know where she goes, come for 570 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:58,080 dinner. And then there's Roy. 571 00:28:58,280 --> 00:28:58,840 Roy. Roy. 572 00:28:58,960 --> 00:28:59,600 Roy. Roy. 573 00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:00,320 Roy. Roy. 574 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:03,680 Roy. I'm waiting for dinner. 575 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:06,520 Roy. Roy. 576 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:07,520 Roy. Roy. 577 00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:09,240 Roy. And then? 578 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:13,760 Dero. Dero, Dero. 579 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:19,480 Come inside, Dero. She thought there was so many 580 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:23,520 things that Freya says. And does that make me question 581 00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:27,840 how much I'd like prison life? But for some reason, there's 582 00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:32,120 also the odd thing that she does, which is potentially the 583 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,360 most insufferable of all the things. 584 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:37,200 And yet somehow I really enjoy it. 585 00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:39,760 And I don't know what that says about me. 586 00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:41,800 I always. Enjoy the most annoying things. 587 00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:44,040 The most annoying and the most rogue. 588 00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:50,560 So you're absolutely barbaric alter egos and you're really, 589 00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:56,320 really barbaric behaviour, which is like, not it's the annoying. 590 00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:58,400 Shit, you know, if I've done something naughty, I did 591 00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:00,080 something very naughty the other day. 592 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:01,880 I'm not going to mention it on here, but I did do something 593 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,760 very naughty the other day and it wasn't too scarlet and I 594 00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:06,480 don't think I've ever seen anything make her laugh. 595 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:07,400 More. It really. 596 00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:09,920 It's still tickles me. It's tickled me two or three 597 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:13,960 times a day, Every day since, anyway. 598 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:20,400 My love. Sorry, back to the Horror Story. 599 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:24,560 Please call her account for me. Hi IC emailing from the land 600 00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:26,960 down Under. I've recently found your podcast 601 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,280 and have loved the content. Thank you for all you do for the 602 00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:32,520 community and for fostering such a safe space to talk about 603 00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:36,440 everything gay. We are more than happy to do so. 604 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:40,120 I have a Horror Story about my first relationship which was a 605 00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:42,400 five year long distance relationship. 606 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,480 Fucking hell. Five years. 607 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:48,600 Five years LDR. You poor little. 608 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:52,280 Girl, unfortunately it's not much of A funny one, but I hope 609 00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:54,160 this oh we'll make it funny, don't worry. 610 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:58,000 But I hope this story helps to initiate a conversation on self 611 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:01,480 love, self esteem and to think twice about why am I laughing. 612 00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:06,520 Way Self Esteem Wanker. Sorry self love. 613 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:08,640 No, I'm joking, this is really bad. 614 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:12,440 But I hope this story helps to initiate a conversation on self 615 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,360 love, self esteem, and to think twice about anyone who treats 616 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:18,640 you poorly, even if they claim to love you for who you are. 617 00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:21,680 I've only been here. I can hear. 618 00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:23,680 The laughter. In your voice, I'm laughing 619 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:25,360 because I've probably said that to you at some point. 620 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:26,960 No, I'm joking. I haven't carry on. 621 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:29,320 I've only said that to you and you've complained about not 622 00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,840 liking your body image. And then you've smashed 4 bars 623 00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:35,160 of chocolate at 11:00 at night. And then I go, don't ask me for 624 00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:37,080 sympathy, which I think is fair enough. 625 00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:40,720 It is too far. I've only been able to be brave 626 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,000 enough to laugh and share how fucked it is now. 627 00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:46,200 Some mild trigger warnings for body shaming and diet culture? 628 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,160 Oh. My God, no, this isn't funny. 629 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:51,200 Oh no. I got together with my ex 630 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:53,200 partner, who I met through mutual friends. 631 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,960 She lived in another continent while I lived in Australia. 632 00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:59,480 She was five years older than I was, and at the time I was 21 633 00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:03,320 years old, closet of baby, gay in unique, with a limited idea 634 00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:05,560 of what our relationship was. So basically what we've just 635 00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:08,320 been talking about. I was studying to become a 636 00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:11,520 therapist and together with the nature of a long distance 637 00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:14,560 relationship where all you can do is sometimes talk, our 638 00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:16,680 relationship became very deep and emotional. 639 00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:21,040 Here I was exposed to some of my ex's unhealthy dot dot dot 640 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:25,400 views, if you could call it that, some small context. 641 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,760 I've struggled with weight my whole life and I've always been 642 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:30,760 a size 14 to 16. My ex was thin. 643 00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:34,640 Hence we had many conversations, both directly and indirectly, 644 00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:36,400 about how I needed to lose weight. 645 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:40,880 Oh God, I only saw this as problematic in hindsight, but at 646 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,920 one point she mentioned she was afraid she'll find me so 647 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:47,000 unattractive because of my weight that she would no longer 648 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,840 want to be intimate with me anymore. 649 00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:52,360 OK, yeah, she's a cunt. Oh my God, she is a cunt. 650 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:55,480 All this was coloured under the concern of health and love. 651 00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:57,280 Why do they always do that? It's. 652 00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:59,920 I'm doing it because I love you. But she was a size 1416. 653 00:32:59,920 --> 00:33:02,880 It wasn't, actually. Fucking obese, unable to fucking 654 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,400 get out of bed. And also because her family 655 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:07,600 thought I was too big to be healthy. 656 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:10,080 Oh my God. So she even, like, let her 657 00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:11,520 family talk to her about it as well. 658 00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:15,560 Being naive and gaslit, I chose to agree and apologise. 659 00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:19,200 Throughout the years I starved, exercise and did all I could to 660 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:21,560 lose weight. I lost quite a bit eventually 661 00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,080 but it was never good enough for her. 662 00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:27,200 The relationship has some crazy highs and I stayed because love 663 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,560 really blinds your judgement. Sometimes it does. 664 00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:32,920 Fast forward to our 4th year. We met my side of town for my 665 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:35,040 birthday. We booked a nice place with the 666 00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:37,760 intention to spend some time together on the night of my 667 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:39,640 birthday. She said she needed to chat for 668 00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:43,280 a few minutes to this girl who she met and was supporting her 669 00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:45,400 through her Olympic journey into sport. 670 00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:48,400 Oh, here we go. A few months before this, I 671 00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:51,360 remembered my ex saying that she was hosting A fundraiser for 672 00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:54,360 this girl for some new equipment so she could compete at the 673 00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:57,560 Olympics. A fundraiser which I donated 674 00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:01,120 some of my money to. Needless to stay a few minutes 675 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:04,080 turned to nearly three hours. Oh my God. 676 00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:05,880 So she was on the phone for three hours whilst it was her 677 00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:07,640 birthday? Yeah. 678 00:34:08,199 --> 00:34:08,760 Sorry. I was. 679 00:34:09,199 --> 00:34:10,320 Yeah. What the fuck? 680 00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,440 I was upset but she told me this girl had a troubled past. 681 00:34:13,679 --> 00:34:16,159 Hence I put it down to a genuine need for support. 682 00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:19,920 I gave her some advice too, from being a therapist as to how she 683 00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:23,120 could best support her. Fast forward again a few months. 684 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:25,639 Things were a bit distant, but I put it down to busy work 685 00:34:25,639 --> 00:34:27,400 schedules, both between this time. 686 00:34:27,679 --> 00:34:30,639 She had asked me to get tickets to the Olympics, which I could 687 00:34:30,639 --> 00:34:32,960 because of connections to the country it was held in. 688 00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:35,679 One day I had enough of the distance and asked for one of 689 00:34:35,679 --> 00:34:37,400 those. Let's try to communicate better 690 00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:40,480 discussions over the phone, which was agreed to very 691 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,480 quickly. When time came to chat, however, 692 00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:43,840 she proceeds to break up with me. 693 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:46,239 She tells me that she's been emotionally cheating on me with 694 00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:48,159 the athletes she was supporting. Oh, shocked. 695 00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:51,840 And that that athlete had been staying in her home for several 696 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:53,199 months. No. 697 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,880 So it was more than just a fucking mental? 698 00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:57,160 They've definitely been shagging. 699 00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:59,080 Shagging. Come on. 700 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:01,480 And the fact that she was staying there and she didn't 701 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:02,920 even tell her that's. So bad. 702 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:05,640 I found out the only reason she had finally had the balls to 703 00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,440 break up with me was that her mum had picked up the feelings 704 00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:11,480 for this girl, incidentally, because she saw them in bed 705 00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:13,840 together. Your jokes. 706 00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:17,440 Cunt's own mum was so appalled by her own daughter's behaviour 707 00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:20,320 she was willing to expose her. I mean take us to the mum. 708 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:22,720 Take us to the mum. Her mum, bless her, threatened 709 00:35:22,720 --> 00:35:25,200 to kick her out of the house if she didn't come clean to me 710 00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:28,120 rather terribly during this our conversation, whilst I was 711 00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:31,160 trying to keep it together, she played the victim saying she was 712 00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:35,840 hurting too and that it was hard for her to fucking hell. 713 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,600 Needless to say it was lesbian heartbreak at his best. 714 00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:41,440 The rage, sadness and all kinds of fucked I felt was literally 715 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:44,840 out of this world for months. I felt disgusted at the help I 716 00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:46,920 gave, both emotionally and financially. 717 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,360 I fucked around with my body image being cheated on for 718 00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:53,560 literally a world class athlete. That is shit like that is shit 719 00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:56,760 because not only was she cheated on, she was cheated on with a 720 00:35:56,760 --> 00:36:00,040 world class athlete who no doubt is going to have a really 721 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:04,400 athletic, quote UN quote fit body because it's her fucking 722 00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:07,080 job and this girl's been ridiculed. 723 00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:10,920 Bless her for years by her cun TX for not having the. 724 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:12,480 Idea of what? The type that she wants. 725 00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:15,840 Really, really, really bad. Yeah, worst of it all. 726 00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,720 I did get the tickets for the Olympics, which were we were 727 00:36:18,720 --> 00:36:20,920 supposed to travel together to go to. 728 00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:24,280 She also ended things a month before and already paid for an 729 00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:27,040 expensive trip to Europe with her and her friends and three 730 00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:29,640 days before I was due to have major dental surgery. 731 00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:32,160 What a horrible, horrible fucking hell. 732 00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:35,680 The aftermath for both of us was incredibly dramatic and there 733 00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,080 are a few other horror stories said within the relationship, 734 00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:40,040 but I do risk being too long winded. 735 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:42,920 Briefly, the Olympics got cancelled because of COVID. 736 00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:46,840 I still went to Europe but embarked on a solo E play Love 737 00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:48,680 Journey instead. Brilliant. 738 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:52,280 And the sedative meditation for the surgery recovery helped numb 739 00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:54,800 the heartbreak, too. Well, you've got to take what 740 00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:56,360 you. Can get I just. 741 00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,920 You know what I mean. Yeah, I think that ultimately 742 00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:00,360 fuck me. What? 743 00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:03,040 A The only thing I never got to do was to tell her that she was 744 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:05,720 a terrible person. I've taken the high ground so we 745 00:37:05,720 --> 00:37:08,160 can be cordial, but in truth part of me will probably 746 00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:10,480 remember the heart and resentment of what had happened 747 00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,600 for a long time. As such, to end this long story, 748 00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,640 I'm seeking some help to tell the universe that she was truly 749 00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:19,920 a cunt in the most British and crude way possible, which 750 00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:24,080 arguably is the best way to finish mending a lesbian heart. 751 00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:27,720 Right, well, you've got it here. First you. 752 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:37,920 Are the the biggest cunt I have ever heard of, You nasty little 753 00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:42,240 bitch. That wasn't actually planned. 754 00:37:42,240 --> 00:37:45,240 Can I just say I was just intently watching the way in 755 00:37:45,240 --> 00:37:46,680 which Freya's lips were going to move? 756 00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:54,160 Carry on and. And and I hope you get get so 757 00:37:55,000 --> 00:38:03,480 fucking fat. You hold on. 758 00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:08,000 And I hope you get. High. 759 00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:12,720 Cholesterol Hang on, let me just sing a song for her. 760 00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:16,760 You are a cunty. Cunty cunty cunty cunty cunty 761 00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:19,320 cunty cunt, cunt, cunt. Cunty, cunty, cunty, cunty, 762 00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:21,280 cunt. Cunty, cunty, cunt, cunt, cunt, 763 00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:23,880 cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. 764 00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:30,280 Cunt, cunt, cunt. Cunt, That's shit. 765 00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:30,920 I'm sorry. I've got. 766 00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:33,040 I honestly sometimes just don't have the words. 767 00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:37,560 I mean that is a Horror Story, but one of like such deep 768 00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:39,760 emotional that probably. Would have been better off for 769 00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:43,680 one of our sessions. Because in hindsight, yes, it's. 770 00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:45,560 So bad that it is actually Horror Story. 771 00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:48,880 Yeah. So yeah, I mean, look, you're 772 00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:51,360 better off without that bitch. That cunt. 773 00:38:51,720 --> 00:38:54,800 I mean a key piece of advice here, don't do a fucking five 774 00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,000 year LDR again. What a waste. 775 00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:01,720 A waste of time. Also, I hope you're enjoying 776 00:39:01,720 --> 00:39:04,320 your food and you're loving your body and. 777 00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:08,560 I hope you ate every fucking bit of pasta round your trip in 778 00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:11,480 Europe, around Italy, every bit of bread. 779 00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:16,960 Cheese, doughnut, Pizza, Pasta. We've got some great food in 780 00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:20,360 Europe and I hope you were fucking loving it. 781 00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,840 Yeah. And on that note. 782 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:24,440 And she is a cunt. And she is a cunt. 783 00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:28,080 And on that note, we love you all and we will speak to you 784 00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:31,360 next week. Goodbye. 785 00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:34,440 Bye Cunt. Goodbye. 786 00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:38,000 OK, just bye. Bye.