1 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:13,680 What was it you just said? You're tired of me already. 2 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:18,200 I'm, I'm absolutely, I'm absolutely fucking exhausted. 3 00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:21,520 I don't blame you because I'm actually tired of myself, but I 4 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,720 can't stop this alter ego that I've picked up. 5 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:26,920 It's darling, it's not an alter ego, it is just you. 6 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,920 Yeah, but now I've seen the embodiment of me and someone 7 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:34,320 else, it's making me worse. So if anyone is on TikTok, I'm 8 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:41,520 sure that you've all seen the small Chinese girl called Xiao 9 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:48,920 Zhao and then her friend Wolong that I'm sure that will jog your 10 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:54,800 memory. Freya and Liv both recognised 11 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:59,040 very recently that this person Xiao Zhao is me. 12 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:00,840 I am her. We are of 1. 13 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:05,680 Like the way that she kicks off. And it has. 14 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:10,080 If my behaviour wasn't bad enough as it is, it has made me 15 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:15,880 worse because I see her do it and I find it so iconic. 16 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,760 I'm like, well, I'm just going to be more of me. 17 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:22,000 I'm not going to say that it's not iconic, but. 18 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,920 But to live with it to live with. 19 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,640 It like, yeah, like, I mean, you're, you're very. 20 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:28,240 Imagine having to live in my brain. 21 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:31,560 No, but you're very lucky that I have a very good sense of humour 22 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,000 because I find a lot of that shit really funny. 23 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:36,680 I think other people would have eated you across the room 24 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,800 already, but when? Zhao Zhao. 25 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,280 Baby, you ain't eating me anywhere, darling. 26 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:44,920 Babe, you think that you're able to eat me? 27 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:48,280 You couldn't eat me. Two fucking centimetres I. 28 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,440 Might not be able to eat you, but I can't eat you. 29 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,080 No you can't. The only thing you could do is 30 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:58,360 toe pant me in the vagina. All right, you are like her and 31 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:02,520 especially when she has her tantrums so like she will sit 32 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:03,400 the food. Tantrum. 33 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:07,000 This is very good food tantrums. It's like that is so you. 34 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,759 It's so you. Like it is honestly like 35 00:02:09,759 --> 00:02:11,640 looking. It's not even a joke. 36 00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:13,720 Like I don't watch it. So that's a joke like that is 37 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:15,480 genuine. No, because the phrase doesn't. 38 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:18,680 Serve my dinner quite right, it really does give me an anger 39 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:22,400 that I know, and I know in the moment it's unacceptable. 40 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:26,720 I know it is ridiculous. I can't stop myself. 41 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:30,600 So when I see Zhao Zhao get served something that is not up 42 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,160 to Zhao Zhao Stand. Does it make you? 43 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:33,600 Angry. Now watch her kick off. 44 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:39,320 No, I feel a deep sense of recognition because this is what 45 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,040 you must see when you're looking at me. 46 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:45,160 I'm glad you found your soul twin. 47 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:48,960 If any of you are really good, and I know a lot of you are with 48 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:53,720 like art and IT etcetera, can someone merge my face with Xiao 49 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:56,360 Xiao? No, not merge your face, but 50 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,600 just put the Xiao Xiao haircut on scarlet. 51 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,320 Oh yeah, I'd. By the way it goes. 52 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,520 Fuck, I should've gone to Xiao Xiao for Halloween. 53 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:03,080 You. Should have. 54 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:04,640 There's always. I'm just going to say every day 55 00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:08,680 is fucking Xiao Xiao day. We have also said that Liv is 56 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:10,000 Wolong. Wolong. 57 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:14,240 Because Freya's the interviewer that winds me up and like, geez 58 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,280 me up and. Then the one that stood behind. 59 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:19,600 Wolong, who's there to kind of calm me down and keep me 60 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,520 grounded. So it's like a whole thing 61 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:25,640 moving on from Xiao Zhao. Although I could sit and talk 62 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,560 about Xiao Zhao all day long. If anyone wants some Xiao Zhao 63 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:31,720 content, I've got a list of. We've got a lot of iconic videos 64 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:35,520 of hers. I want to talk about the first 65 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:39,520 ever lesbian suffer event. It was so good I. 66 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:41,560 Don't want to blow our own trumpet? 67 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,560 That was like the best party I've been to in a very long 68 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:45,680 time. There's. 69 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:49,760 I'm sorry, but it was. Very, can I just say, and I've 70 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,400 like literally told this to everyone afterwards everyone was 71 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,960 hot. Honestly like if you're single 72 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:59,840 don't go to dating. No events just come to a 73 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,520 lesbian. Everyone was attractive, 74 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:04,840 everyone had good crack. Fucking funny, but I did say 75 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:07,600 this though, I was like, they've got to kind of like get on a 76 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,080 level without crack if they listen to the. 77 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,400 Podcast I feel like you've already listened to this podcast 78 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,400 and find it enjoyable if you've got shit crack. 79 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,440 If you've got shit crack, you're just you're having a shit time 80 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:16,519 if you've. Got shit crack. 81 00:04:16,519 --> 00:04:18,040 You're going to be put on your back. 82 00:04:19,079 --> 00:04:20,279 Oh, that was so. Bad. 83 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:22,200 I'm so bad. I'm definitely keeping that in. 84 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:26,120 I think. I think that it was just so nice 85 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:32,160 to have a space where everyone was fucking queer and these 86 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:34,840 beautiful women were just having a good time and enjoying 87 00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:37,680 themselves and being in an era I didn't have to cover my glass. 88 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:39,120 I. Actually, I literally didn't 89 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,480 even think about. It no, but nobody always do 90 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:42,120 that. Yeah, never. 91 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:43,160 I'm that's. What I'm saying I didn't. 92 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,000 Even have to think about it over my glass. 93 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,000 I've only realised now I didn't even. 94 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,240 Don't let this give any of you any fucking ideas. 95 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,520 Except for be that little shit it. 96 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,640 Was shoving fucking. Baby Guinnesses. 97 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:59,440 Have a shot, I don't want one. Have one I literally don't want. 98 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,480 One if anyone sees be at one of the other events. 99 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:03,840 Can everyone just laugh at her laugh please because I bullied 100 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:06,360 her about her laugh and now she's got a complex so I just 101 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,280 want to kind of keep. It I haven't heard her laugh. 102 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:12,760 Oh, like that. It's fantastic. 103 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:14,800 I hope she's not breaking that out on the first date. 104 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:16,920 I mean, no, I think, I hope she is. 105 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:19,160 She'll be one of the only gingers in the room, so she's 106 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:21,840 recognisable. I feel like she is. 107 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,520 We're in the Levi's studio and I think we're chatting. 108 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:28,200 Been really loud in the because of Bee's laugh anyway so yeah it 109 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:34,080 was it was fantastic and fun honestly like doing that was an 110 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:37,440 eye opener for me and it's kicked started something up I 111 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:40,400 asked I was really shitting myself out quite we. 112 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,080 Both had really bad anxiety and Freya described it in the best 113 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:46,560 way possible, which is the birthday anxiety you have when 114 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:48,760 you're throwing something and you want everyone to have a good 115 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,000 time. Put that on crack. 116 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,520 Like that's how we felt because we obviously we are responsible 117 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:57,000 for everyone having a good time. But there's also only so much 118 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,600 you can do. Like if the vibe's not there and 119 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,120 everyone's shit and the vibe. 'S not there. 120 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:04,920 Can we talk about Beth McCarthy? I love her so much. 121 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:08,320 She did us such a solid by performing as well which was 122 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:12,760 like a surprise for everyone. Beth is amazing and her newest 123 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:16,640 newest edition of the EP is I Don't Know How to Talk to Girls, 124 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:19,680 which is an amazing song like it is such a fucking. 125 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:23,080 Banger I like her whole thing is like her marketing around this 126 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,920 is her getting really bad gay panic because she does I've 127 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,920 never known anyone gets she. Genuinely does. 128 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:31,360 She's not even alive as. We, you know, as good friends 129 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,320 would do, we start to give her gay a panic mid performance. 130 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:37,920 And then, as Freya always likes to do, which is take it as too 131 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:42,320 far too far is Once Beth had finished singing. 132 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:45,040 I don't know how to talk to girls Freya shoved her tongue 133 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:48,040 down Earth right in front of the whole audience of people there. 134 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:52,600 I just don't have the words. I'm like Xiao Xiao. 135 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:56,840 I'm also like, really? I'm all about committing to the 136 00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:59,520 bit, and that was purely committing to the fucking bit. 137 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:03,520 Babe, I, you know, it's not a personal perspective that I can 138 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:04,840 actually. Want a T-shirt that says commit 139 00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:06,640 to the bit? Because I feel like so many 140 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:08,360 people do it. Everyone does something for the 141 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,880 bit, you know, you do something. You're like, this is so 142 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,240 ridiculous and I'm doing it for the plot. 143 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:13,600 Yeah. That you commit to the bit, 144 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:15,520 Yeah. So yeah, the event was amazing. 145 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,720 We're going to be doing loads more so if you didn't get chance 146 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,320 to come, hopefully you get tickets for the next. 147 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,680 Time I was saying the next. One, we're trying to make it 148 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:28,400 more monthly with the next one, we're trying to make more bigger 149 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,840 numbers. The next one we're no, we're 150 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,200 trying OK, but we don't want to make it too many numbers 151 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:34,520 because. Max 100. 152 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,560 Max 100. We still want to have it to be 153 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,720 intimate and not like a club. So we don't want to club. 154 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:41,400 Yeah, people can talk. It can still be a bar. 155 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,600 Just whatever I think works. And I think that for us, we want 156 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:49,000 only the best for you guys. So we're we're keeping on, 157 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,760 keeping on. Bottoms. 158 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,960 We went to the screening. Warner Brothers invited us to 159 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,560 the screening of Bottoms which was released on the 3rd of 160 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:01,240 November if you haven't seen it. It is hilarious. 161 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:04,240 It's very quit it's, it's very our humour. 162 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:05,960 It's. So good. 163 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:09,920 What I loved it was just so non politically correct. 164 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,600 And don't get me wrong, people always take it a step too far 165 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,640 and just hate crime. I don't mean it that way, but I 166 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,880 mean in the sense that I feel like nowadays film is a joke, 167 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:21,480 so, so overly politically right that it just takes the funny out 168 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:23,560 of everything, right? It was. 169 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,080 Really good, but it was. So it was so good, the premise. 170 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:29,480 There was a line in it. Someone was like, the rest of 171 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:34,080 the school don't hate you because you're gay, they hate 172 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,440 you because you're gay and untalented. 173 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,880 And like and ugly just. PC things like that, that like, 174 00:08:40,039 --> 00:08:43,000 yeah, a lot of people wouldn't say now in comedy or TV because 175 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,760 it would be like, oh, it's like, is that. 176 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:46,320 Honestly, I was raised on little. 177 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,960 Britain, it was so funny, like it was, honestly, it's amazing. 178 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:51,680 So if you haven't seen it, go and watch it. 179 00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:53,800 I was, yeah, really pleasantly surprised. 180 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,200 So was I, because I didn't. I really wasn't expecting much. 181 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:56,880 I could. I wasn't. 182 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,440 Not to sound like an asshole, I just wasn't. 183 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:00,600 No. And it was really amazing. 184 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,440 It was one of my favourite films I've like seen in the past. 185 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,080 The last couple of years really, that's been a comedy. 186 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:09,360 So yeah, check it out. I am happy as well today guys, 187 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:12,520 Zhao Zhao is still Zhao Zhao ING, but happy Zhao Zhao because 188 00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:16,960 I've been to the incredible injectual on Westbourne Grove 189 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:20,680 AKA Notting Hill and have my lips touched down. 190 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:25,440 They look amazing which. I'm really happy about Phrase. 191 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,040 Still not getting near him, but they're looking. 192 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:34,400 So I can look at the. And for my migraine girlies, I 193 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:39,160 have got some Botox as well. So basically my migraines are 194 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:42,640 all to the right hand side in the back of my head and down my 195 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,560 neck. So initially I consulted with 196 00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:48,040 injectual because like basically they're all doctors in there. 197 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:53,200 So they're not just like aesthetic medical, They're not 198 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,520 just there to do aesthetics. Like a lot of them have come 199 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,400 from medical backgrounds. So I was speaking to them 200 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:01,200 previously about doing the Botox and at the time they had advised 201 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:04,040 me they didn't think Botox in my forehead, etcetera would be very 202 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,160 useful. And because of the amount of 203 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:09,240 Botox and then the size basically of the needles that is 204 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:12,640 needed for the type of migraines that I have down the back of my 205 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:13,960 head and down through my shoulders. 206 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,880 They were like, we're basically, we can't do it. 207 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:20,640 It has to be done by like a higher grade like medical 208 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:23,080 profession, which is great. Fine. 209 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,480 Like I really respect that. They weren't like, oh, let's 210 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,920 just do the forehead. But what I have noticed in the 211 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,640 last couple of months since having these load of migraines 212 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:34,280 is that obviously it creates tension all over your head. 213 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:38,400 So I've started to like clench my jaw more, frown more, if that 214 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:42,000 was even possible, and like hold a lot of tension in the front of 215 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,160 my head. So today as well as getting my 216 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:48,520 lips done, I have gone and got my grouch frown lines done. 217 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,720 I said that she's getting degrouched. 218 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:55,880 I'm getting degrouched and the like my foreheads and basically 219 00:10:55,880 --> 00:11:01,000 like the side of my head so my temples and I am so excited to 220 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,640 see if this makes a difference. I really feel like it's going 221 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:05,480 to. I honestly think as well, and I 222 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:08,160 was saying this is Scarlet. I've noticed that when she just 223 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:11,440 talks, generally she just frowns like when she tries to think 224 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:13,680 about, so she'll just frown. So that can't be good for your 225 00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:15,160 headaches. If you're always doing this when 226 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:17,320 you're talking, Can you imagine the amount of pressure that 227 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:18,080 you're putting on your head like? 228 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:22,880 Oh yeah, when so we we get our work done by a lady called 229 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,280 Chantelle. She's fucking amazing, 230 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,240 Chantelle. Love you. 231 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:31,560 She like, obviously has to mark. So they mark your head for the 232 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:35,160 Botox. And she was like, Oh, yeah, 233 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:37,480 yeah, the lines are deep on the frown. 234 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:40,160 I was like, Chantelle, I've literally got photos of me as a 235 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,920 fucking child with those frown lines show. 236 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:44,320 And that's. Just since birth, honestly. 237 00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:48,440 So I know that they're there, OK, they're thriving. 238 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,200 So the frown lines are going to be gone. 239 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:54,160 But beyond the aesthetic side of it, I'm really excited to see if 240 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,320 it makes a difference to like the tension in my head. 241 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:59,440 So we'll keep you guys updated. And also as I know there's so 242 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,320 many migraine girlies in the DMS. 243 00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:05,640 So if if we can all find a solution to get even a fucking 244 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:08,600 bit of. Also for pure aesthetic reasons, 245 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,400 because I've been telling everyone obviously about my 246 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,400 sauna trips, the Gwashah. By the way, the Gwashah is still 247 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,000 going fully fledged. I've actually really noticed the 248 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,800 difference, actually every day. Dedicated to something and kept 249 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,960 to it for once. But hasn't it made a difference? 250 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,160 And also my jaw looks way better. 251 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,720 Yeah. And also the supplements that I 252 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:27,120 take. So every single morning I take 253 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:30,960 probiotics, the proven ones, the women's Ant probiotics. 254 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:36,240 I take Coq 10. I take vitamin DA 1000, whatever 255 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:41,920 the hell it is and my antidepressants as well. 256 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:45,760 But now I'm doing that, the Gua Shah, and then next week I'm 257 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:49,160 going to get some work done on me face because there is no 258 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,440 shame in the game honestly, especially if you want things to 259 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,920 be preventative as well. Yep, Botox. 260 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:55,400 All about preventative baby. Exactly. 261 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,960 But then also when you see yourself being recorded all the 262 00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,920 time, I've noticed how much I've raised my eyebrows. 263 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:01,200 I was like, I just don't want that anymore. 264 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,440 I mean. There's a really fine line in 265 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:07,080 doing things that make you feel better about yourself and then 266 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:10,840 getting dissociated. And I think that's where like I 267 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,560 am. So I'm really good, I feel and 268 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:18,160 being so I'm hypercritical of the way I look right to a 269 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:23,680 massive default, but I wouldn't, I know I would never end up 270 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:26,680 looking like a Geordie Shore in any ways Essex type person. 271 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,240 And that's that's up to them. That's fine. 272 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,960 But I know that I would just I could never and would never get 273 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,720 to that point. And again, with injectable, I 274 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,200 know they'd never let us get to that point. 275 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,920 No, they wouldn't. The first time I ever went 276 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:41,480 there, I had migrated filler on my lip and it was like a bit 277 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:42,640 like above my lip. And they were like, we're not 278 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:43,640 going to. It wasn't even that bad. 279 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:45,560 And they were like, yeah, we're not going to do it. 280 00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:48,200 And they, like a lot of places, will just fill on top of that 281 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:49,760 and let you get on your merry way. 282 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,640 I know this. At some point, these guys would 283 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:55,520 be like, no girls, that's too far, you're not doing this or 284 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,760 you really don't need that one. We're going to refuse to do it. 285 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:01,640 And that's what I really like is that they are genuinely like 286 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:05,760 accredited trustworthy people, which makes a massive. 287 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,720 They're the real deal. They're the real deal and. 288 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:13,600 Joelle, the The Like owner is like one of the most captivating 289 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,160 people you'll ever be around. She is just stunning. 290 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,720 She's fucking beautiful. But she's just cool. 291 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:20,840 She's just got an air. You know when someone's just got 292 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,240 an air about them. But you know, someone's got star 293 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:24,480 quality. That's what I call. 294 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,440 It Oh yeah, for sure. You could see her on Selling 295 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:27,760 Sunset. She'd absolutely. 296 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,880 She's like Christine from Selling Sunset. 297 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:30,480 But wait. Nice. 298 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:33,120 Better but like a nice yeah, but like. 299 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:34,640 That kind of we. Should get her on Selling 300 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:36,000 Sunset. Yes. 301 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,480 So guys, yeah, we want to talk about closure today. 302 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:43,280 And I think this ties into a a lot of previous episodes that 303 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:47,000 we've done because we've spoken before about friendship 304 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,200 heartbreak, we've spoken about personal heartbreak, like 305 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,800 relationship heartbreak. We've spoken about cheating, 306 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:55,400 we've spoken about lying. We've spoken about people 307 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:59,680 treating you badly. And obviously part of all of 308 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:05,080 those experiences and the emotions that you take from that 309 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:09,280 closure comes into that at some point or another or sometimes 310 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:10,960 doesn't. So I think today it was really 311 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:15,720 important to kind of pick that apart and discuss what closure 312 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,720 feels and looks like for us. I. 313 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:21,600 Think it really does depend. Some people I feel like you 314 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:26,800 genuinely need closure from genuinely like I feel like you 315 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,760 need a moment where you can have a conversation with them and 316 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:34,040 they can say to you, right, I fucked up here. 317 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:37,080 We're no longer friends. But I just want to let you know 318 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:41,720 I'm sorry or say it be like an ex and say, you know, I've come 319 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,880 forward. I've thought about everything 320 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:48,080 that I did in our relationship and I in the clear light of day. 321 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,600 Upon reflection, that was bad, however, right? 322 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,320 So that can be good. It can also be triggering. 323 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:59,680 Like if you if you are a not ready to hear that conversation, 324 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:01,680 it's still, I don't think that's closure. 325 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:03,680 Does that make sense? I feel like you've almost got to 326 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:08,000 give yourself closure because somebody kind of definitely got 327 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,080 to get. Far away enough from it on your 328 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:13,000 own, yes. So to give a specific example of 329 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:20,080 that, one of my exes, it ended very badly and it was a long 330 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:26,760 time ago and I feel like I've really processed it at the time, 331 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:30,840 like I went through all the motions and then I moved on with 332 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:36,120 my life. But it always just niggled me. 333 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,080 It just so I've spoken about this before because I've had 334 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:44,440 another ex where like The Dirty was done and I just don't care. 335 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:48,400 Like no to the point where I could see this person out and 336 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:51,920 they could say hi to me and I'd say hi and I would feel nothing. 337 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,360 And I've never got an apology. I'll never get an apology. 338 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:57,000 I'll never get an acknowledgement and I do not. 339 00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:58,440 Give a shit. Do you know what? 340 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,520 I don't actually think it'd make you feel any better. 341 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,640 No, I think if she reached out to you now and sent you a 342 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:03,920 paragraph. I just don't care. 343 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,599 You'd be like, oh, OK, it just. Like for some reason that it 344 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:13,920 just doesn't bother me, but the other one, whenever I would to 345 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:19,000 hear about this person or it just triggered me and it, it 346 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:22,680 made me feel a lot of emotions that I always kind of thought 347 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:27,680 that I'd got away from. So I recently had a scenario in 348 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:31,720 which I had an opportunity to discuss this with this person. 349 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,360 And I think this is a bit of advice for everyone. 350 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:39,120 It's like this person reached out to me and you have to be 351 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:42,720 really careful with the the questions that you ask yourself 352 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:46,040 when you enter into conversations with your past. 353 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:52,200 Because for me, I had to really ask myself what I would get from 354 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:56,960 that and what I'd want from it. So irrespective of if the other 355 00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,920 person is coming at you with an agenda, so if they were to be 356 00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:03,360 apologising to make themselves feel better or if they were 357 00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:06,320 apologising to look good or something like that, right. 358 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:11,280 You kind of have to let go of any of that and ask yourself, am 359 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:12,880 I doing this for me? Yeah. 360 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,240 And that was the question that I asked myself when I went 361 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,160 through, like, is this the right thing to do? 362 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,960 I sort of said to myself, Scarlett, it's been years now 363 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:24,840 and something has still affected you by the situation. 364 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,720 And I had to ask myself, like, what am I going to get from 365 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:29,400 this? And I thought, irrespective of 366 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:34,320 whatever happens, if I can say my truth, get peace with that, 367 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,160 get acknowledgement, whatever that person's coming at it from 368 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:38,440 or whatever they're getting out of it. 369 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,320 And I'm not saying they were coming from and getting it, 370 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,600 trying to get anything out of it for personal gain by the way, 371 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,800 but I'm just saying for other people, if that were to be the 372 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:51,360 case, I had to let go of that potential and say to myself, I'm 373 00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:53,720 doing it for me and anything else beyond that. 374 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,760 And you know what? It has made a massive 375 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,560 difference. Now if someone had come to me 376 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,960 and said you need to speak to that person, I straight away 377 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:03,760 would have jumped out the chair like someone had shoved the 378 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,760 fucking rocker up my ass and told them that I didn't need to 379 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:08,280 do that. That wouldn't do anything for 380 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,160 me. I definitely had to get there on 381 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,440 my own. I do think that you've matured a 382 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,040 lot though. Yeah, you really have and and 383 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,000 and there's less than. That than like Xiao Xiao. 384 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,280 Yeah, a little bit. I, I, I feel like maybe that's 385 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,800 why you do act like Xiao Xiao, because you spend all your time 386 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,720 trying to be emotionally mature and then it has to come out 387 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:26,280 somewhere. Yeah, it's relaxed. 388 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:29,480 No, I'm joking. No, but I do think that you, I 389 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:32,680 should give yourself two credit because I think that that was 390 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,880 actually quite a difficult situation that you were put in, 391 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:39,200 to be honest. And I think that you dealt with 392 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,160 it extraordinarily. Well, thank you. 393 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:45,320 So, yeah, and, and I got out of that actually what I needed. 394 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,560 And I, I can't even tell you what that was. 395 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:49,760 I think it was a series of things, but. 396 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,240 Feel a little bit better? I just, yeah. 397 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:52,800 And it wasn't, it wasn't a big thing. 398 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,520 It wasn't like this was like knocking on my door every day, 399 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,920 you know, causing me substantive problems in my day-to-day life. 400 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:03,680 It was just a little. Thing and I just don't feel that 401 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,680 anymore. So, yeah, I, I got from that 402 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:10,000 what I feel like I needed. And that's a really positive 403 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:13,400 kind of outcome. As I say, I feel like with my 404 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:16,680 other ex, I just genuinely, and this isn't even me trying to 405 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:18,560 convince myself that like, I don't need it. 406 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,400 And I think for you, definitely with your exes, we've spoken 407 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,520 about this, you're in really good places. 408 00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:25,400 You've had that closure for a very long time. 409 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:28,000 And that's a very healing thing. I think there's a difference 410 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:32,880 though, between getting closure and genuinely being completely 411 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,400 over the things that someone's done to you. 412 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,200 And I don't, Oh, for sure. But I and I don't mean to the 413 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,760 sense where you're like putting it against them, but actually 414 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,400 being triggered by their past actions. 415 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,960 Some things you can't forget. Like there are certain things. 416 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:46,080 Yeah, there are certain things, right. 417 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:49,240 So I have closure with both of my with with my exes. 418 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,600 However, there will be moments within our relationship that 419 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:53,480 will trigger me. There's. 420 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:56,640 Certain things they could say or do that would completely snap 421 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,440 you back into. And then I'm like, well, it 422 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,160 reminds me of when I was with so and so. 423 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,200 And they did this. Yeah, yeah, this is how I felt. 424 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,840 And so it is like a triggering thing, but I also just think 425 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,480 that that's a completely different thing to. 426 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:08,960 Closure. I'm not sure if that's like 427 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:11,400 closure or just like. I think that you need the 428 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,920 closure yourself though, like you do need to be able to give 429 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:15,880 it to yourself. We had. 430 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:18,760 That therapy. It's kind of like, yeah, but 431 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:21,800 also like, talk to yourself. With so much kindness in an area 432 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,720 like this, you can't always drag on negative feelings. 433 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:28,720 It's not good for you. I'm so there are certain 434 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:34,400 scenarios in my life where like, and even back to my childhood, 435 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:38,000 like there was a woman from my childhood who was really awful 436 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,760 to my mum and she was like a really close family friend. 437 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:45,040 And this woman like was just awful, an absolutely 438 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:48,800 traumatising time. And she weirdly reached out a 439 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:52,760 few months ago because she'd like seen the podcast and things 440 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,960 and basically was like, you know, congratulations on doing 441 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:59,400 well. I just want you to know that 442 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,400 like, I always like, loved you guys and like miss you and blah, 443 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,000 blah. And I thought the message was 444 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:12,120 nice, but I thought in no way, shape or form would you ever be 445 00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:15,240 anywhere near my life again. Like there is no forgiveness to 446 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:19,720 be had there because what this person done was so just awful. 447 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:21,560 Like there is just no forgiveness. 448 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:23,440 No, no. And, and do you know what 449 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:25,400 obviously say you can say cheers, but. 450 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,640 Yeah, exactly. I actually really respected this 451 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,600 person saying that it didn't negatively affect me for them to 452 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,960 just reach out, but there was definitely no conversation to be 453 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:36,840 had I from my. Side I think that it is. 454 00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:40,520 I think that a lot of the time it's just them trying to clear 455 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,080 their own conscience. It makes them feel better, yes. 456 00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:45,480 Did she genuinely write that because she wanted you to do 457 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:46,640 well? I don't know. 458 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:50,640 I think that it's that guilt that builds up in you and you 459 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,200 think, shit, because I've even had this with a girl that I was 460 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:54,640 telling. You know you've done something 461 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:55,480 wrong. Yeah, sure. 462 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,800 There was a girl that I was seeing a few years back and we 463 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,040 weren't anything serious. It was very on and off. 464 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:05,520 It was whatever and I definitely fucked around. 465 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:07,920 She fucked around but then I fucked around worse and I 466 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:11,240 definitely acted like an actual child because same as me because 467 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,560 I was just so like underdeveloped. 468 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,560 Quite same as me then as well. Like there was a, there was a 469 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,360 person in my past as well who we're we're friends now. 470 00:23:18,360 --> 00:23:22,120 But yeah, I was really awful to her, not intentionally, but 471 00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:24,920 because I was like going through so many different, like 472 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:29,480 emotional changes within my life and my relationship that every 473 00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,960 time she kind of ended up being on the brunt end of that. 474 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,840 And it was so frustrating because I really loved and cared 475 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:37,720 for this person. They're like an incredible 476 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,240 person, but I carried a lot of guilt with. 477 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:43,000 That but now. I was like, actually, I gave all 478 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,040 my best parts to people who didn't deserve it. 479 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,880 If anything, you would have deserved that more than anyone. 480 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:51,680 And actually, you got the worst version of me, which was, you 481 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,840 know, not great. It's not like I ever done 482 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:55,200 anything nasty. But it was. 483 00:23:55,240 --> 00:24:00,440 Like white lies to try and not make this person sad that then 484 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:03,040 always got found out and made this person feel sadder. 485 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:04,440 And I've apologised for it since. 486 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,680 And I agree, that was not only to kind of accept my 487 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,760 responsibility and hopefully give that person's like, 488 00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:13,520 acknowledgement of like I've had my actions. 489 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,480 But also, again, yeah, selfishly I'd say of course we don't want 490 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:19,600 to have those horrible scenarios hanging over our head when we 491 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:21,280 know that we could have been better. 492 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,120 I think that's fine. It's how, but it's how much this 493 00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:26,200 person is self. Serving, yeah, because, well, 494 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:29,400 look, listen, because if I were to apologise to this girl right 495 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:32,240 now and and give a whole spiel about how I was acting. 496 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:35,680 Didn't you try? And she was like, no thanks, you 497 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:37,680 did. Who did I? 498 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:42,600 Yeah, I think she she did. It was years ago, but oh, maybe 499 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:43,520 I did. Oh, fuck. 500 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:47,480 But Even so, would that really help her? 501 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,600 No, it wouldn't actually, I don't think. 502 00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,800 No, but with my person it did because we actually. 503 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,800 Became like our friends different situation we're. 504 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,760 Talking So during being friends and all the conversations we 505 00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,920 have now, I was like, look, I feel like it's really important 506 00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:02,800 for me to acknowledge and just like tell you that I'm sorry for 507 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:04,440 the way that I made you feel at certain points. 508 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:07,520 It was never because I was trying to make you feel that 509 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:09,640 way. I was just fucking immature. 510 00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:14,720 My ex kept really, you know, jading my my mind and I 511 00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:18,720 prioritise that over being honest and truthful and being 512 00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,920 genuine to you. Yeah, but I think. 513 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:26,040 Closure On the flip side, though, where we haven't got 514 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,360 closure is a lot of the friendship breakups that we've 515 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:32,440 spoken about previously. That's a weird. 1. 516 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:37,600 Would I feel better with an apology? 517 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:39,360 I think you would from a couple of people. 518 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,720 Yeah, I actually would. Yeah, I genuinely would. 519 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,400 Depending on the scenario. Am I carrying it around with me 520 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:46,360 every day? No. 521 00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:48,240 Do they appear in my dreams though? 522 00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:52,440 Yes, like for example, obviously you can cut the layman like 523 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:55,360 there's one person that would. Be we had a really. 524 00:25:55,360 --> 00:25:58,240 Close relationship with it was only for about a year. 525 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:02,320 It was kind of like a lesbian U-Haul but with a friend. 526 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:07,040 I don't care about an apology. I really, really don't care. 527 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,720 Like that person exposed themselves far beyond. 528 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:11,400 Some longer friendships. I would. 529 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:13,600 I would appreciate it more. Yeah, you would. 530 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:18,400 And I think that also just like, opens up a door where you can be 531 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,640 completely truthful as well, because I feel like that's 532 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:22,680 another thing that you almost get annoyed about, that you're 533 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:25,520 like, do you know what? I didn't even tell you like, how 534 00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:28,920 I felt or how what you did made me feel. 535 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:32,400 Upset me, yes OK you could tell them but I don't think it would 536 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:34,920 be healing or give you closure to do so because they think the 537 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:36,040 response. But then I think just an 538 00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:38,640 apologise, but just an apology. I take an apology. 539 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,120 Not the type of not gonna happen. 540 00:26:40,120 --> 00:26:42,560 Yeah. But then also you can make peace 541 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:45,880 with thinking, do you know what? I don't think that person's ever 542 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:47,440 gonna say sorry. And I'm just gonna have to 543 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,800 fucking be OK with that because ultimately it is somebody else's 544 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:51,760 decision. Yeah. 545 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,920 You do not own anyone. If they have not come forward 546 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:59,960 and apologise because for X, whatever fucking reason it is, 547 00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,760 just let it be, let it go. Yeah. 548 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:05,120 And if that person is behaving that way and not accepting 549 00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:08,560 accountability for anything and not apologising, they're going 550 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,720 to go through and have a repeat of relationships where they're 551 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,880 going to do that with people. And sadly, you probably will 552 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,360 never then get to a deeper level of friendship with anyone. 553 00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:19,640 It will be very surface level. Things will happen and they will 554 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,680 screw themselves over, and you kind of just have to let that 555 00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:24,960 happen. I mean, we had a scenario very 556 00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:28,200 recently as well where a friendship breakdown quite 557 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:29,880 literally happened out of nowhere. 558 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:31,960 I mean, it shocked me. Shocked. 559 00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:33,640 Me. A lot, yeah. 560 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:37,120 Like I did not expect this one. I think with the other the other 561 00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:40,080 two friendships that we're referring to, we kind of knew 562 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,680 for a long time that something was going to break the camel's 563 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:43,760 back. Yes. 564 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:45,280 Something was going to be the stick to break. 565 00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:48,480 The camel's back because there was like there were repetitive 566 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:52,320 things that at some point were going to like snap with this 567 00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:57,880 recent one honestly took me completely like by by surprise 568 00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:01,160 and I don't think that's one that we'll ever get closure for. 569 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,840 But that is 1 where I'm just really not interested in getting 570 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,880 it. I think I'm just like, wow. 571 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,080 Yeah, because there's. Not, there's not a lot of other 572 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,200 words that you can use, but it's just wow. 573 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:12,760 Yeah. The thing is, though, is that 574 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,000 you can never really tell how you're going to feel until that 575 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,360 person does actually reach out, though, because you may be 576 00:28:17,360 --> 00:28:19,320 saying, no, I don't care. But then they might reach out 577 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:22,160 and be like, oh shit. You know, it depends on how like 578 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,160 this this. Scenario and this friendship 579 00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:28,920 breakdown came so out of nowhere I would have anxiety it felt so 580 00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,880 personal yeah. That I think it's not about the 581 00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,440 apology because, yeah, I think you're absolutely right. 582 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,120 If they came forward with an apology, I probably would be 583 00:28:37,120 --> 00:28:38,720 willing to at least have a discussion. 584 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,200 Yes. And I think it would make me 585 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,640 quite emotional because I loved these people. 586 00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:44,160 Yeah. But you're absolutely right. 587 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:49,040 I think the problem with that is the the the anger and the 588 00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:52,920 breakdown happened there so out of nowhere. 589 00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,040 But maybe it still feels raw to us though. 590 00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:56,720 You know when I said you really? Don't think it. 591 00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:58,080 Does no. But you know when you've got to 592 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,520 be open to getting the closure. I just don't think they're open 593 00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:01,920 to no. Because I'm getting open to 594 00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:04,000 getting the closure. What I'm saying is I'm open to 595 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:06,800 having the conversation and the understanding from the other 596 00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,920 side and the apology, but I don't think I'd ever rebuild the 597 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:10,880 friendship. No. 598 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:13,040 So there's like 2 parts of closure, isn't there? 599 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,520 Because there's the closure of the apology, which I think can 600 00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:18,480 just like serve itself. And then you can walk away. 601 00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:22,400 And then there's the part of you can get the apology and then 602 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:25,360 also consider if you want a relationship or friendship with 603 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:28,480 this person again. So like with your exes, you've 604 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:31,320 been able to do that. I can't think about it now, and 605 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:32,640 this is probably Grouch coming through. 606 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:35,360 There are people in my life that I would accept an apology and 607 00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:37,680 OK, there has been people in my life before, like one of my 608 00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:39,720 really good friends. I think you're really fair. 609 00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:43,880 You put on this air of I don't give a fuck on whatever and once 610 00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:46,640 they're dead to me, you're done. But actually you are a very 611 00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:48,560 reasonable. Person I have actually forgiven 612 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:50,680 a lot in my life. You have forgiven a lot. 613 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:52,960 And I can I actually just say you are probably the most 614 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,240 forgiving person I've ever met. Yeah. 615 00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:57,080 Because genuinely. For me, it's about respect. 616 00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,640 So if someone's like, OK, I respect that. 617 00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:01,920 I was like wrong. And I apologise if I think 618 00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:06,000 they're a good person. Yeah, for sure this specific 619 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,120 scenario. And it's not because I don't 620 00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:10,320 think they're a good person as you mentioned just a minute ago. 621 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:13,240 I think the closure would be nice to just walk away on like a 622 00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:14,560 mature. Path. 623 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:17,240 I just don't know if you can ever get closure instantly 624 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:18,440 though. You know when people are like, 625 00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:20,280 oh, we've had a breakup, but I've got closure. 626 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:24,080 I feel like you have the breakup and then it's got to be at least 627 00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:28,480 a few months and then you have a real discussion about it and I 628 00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:30,320 feel for you. Girlies are going going through 629 00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:34,040 that because I know that in that period it is really, really 630 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,680 fucking tough. But I will say one thing, if 631 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:39,920 you're the one that's been wounded, so take and I, and I 632 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,680 mean you really are the one that you know that you would like 633 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:47,040 someone done dirty to you. I my advice would not be you 634 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:50,240 cannot be the victim and also be the person seeking foreclosure. 635 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:53,040 Yes, you cannot be there. Has to be. 636 00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:58,800 It has to be the person who initiated the issues to come and 637 00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:00,440 seek. Closure And if you don't? 638 00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:02,360 Because otherwise that balance is off. 639 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:05,440 So like in all the scenarios where, and I'm not saying we've 640 00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,800 always been perfect, me and you have had to apologise for things 641 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:11,520 before 100%, but in these specific scenarios we're talking 642 00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:14,560 about, I will fight to the fucking death that there was, 643 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,080 that we didn't do anything wrong there. 644 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:18,760 Yeah. So I will never come forward and 645 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:20,400 ask foreclosure for something I didn't do. 646 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:22,640 No agreed. And I would say that to everyone 647 00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:24,920 listening to this as well, you know that it was the other 648 00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:26,640 person. You cannot get closure. 649 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:29,280 They have to take the moral high ground because that is part of 650 00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:31,800 that person accepting that they've done something. 651 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:33,160 Wrong. And that is part of the closure, 652 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:34,920 yes. And The thing is for me is that 653 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:38,320 I have been the person who has done the wrong thing and I have 654 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:39,840 gone out there and I have apologised. 655 00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:41,320 You're amazing at that, to be fair. 656 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,960 Like you are one of the best people. 657 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:46,480 I no it not always straight away. 658 00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:49,800 Sometimes it can take you a little while, but that's better 659 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:53,680 than a lot of people. You to a default sometimes will 660 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:55,760 actually take the blame for things that you haven't even 661 00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:56,720 done. Yeah. 662 00:31:57,120 --> 00:32:01,040 But yeah, you are very, very good at actually swallowing your 663 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:01,880 pride. Yeah. 664 00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:03,880 And saying no I done something wrong. 665 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,920 I just don't think that I gain anything from walking around 666 00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:08,840 with my head held high when I know that I've done something. 667 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:10,720 Fact. And I no and and as much. 668 00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,400 As I I feel like shit. Yeah, and as much as I'm a fiery 669 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:15,920 bitch, like I will do the same. That's the double edged sword 670 00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:17,640 with closure. I think there's so many 671 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:20,680 different avenues with it and you have to do what's right for 672 00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:22,200 you. You can't force people into an 673 00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:24,880 apology, nor can you force people into a forgiveness. 674 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,600 And bitch, listen up, if you were the 1 in the wrong and you 675 00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:31,720 feel like somebody deserves closure, pick up the phone, 676 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:36,120 you're probably blocked. Go through PayPal. 677 00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:38,960 PayPal. Go send them something for my 678 00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:43,360 cat, transfer a penny on Monzo and say I'm sorry. 679 00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:48,280 OK, unless you've been harassing them, then maybe just let it go. 680 00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:51,800 Right, the Horror Story. So it's not a Horror Story, but 681 00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:54,880 I know it's again, something that people are still writing in 682 00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:58,040 about all the time asking for advice on. 683 00:32:58,040 --> 00:32:59,800 So we're going to go over it again, girls. 684 00:32:59,920 --> 00:33:03,800 And. Quiz No, they don't deserve for 685 00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:04,480 me to say it. Nice. 686 00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:09,960 Xiao Zhao No title is I want to kiss my best friend badly. 687 00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:13,880 In brackets, she is straight. Oh, here we fucking go. 688 00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:16,440 Hello girls, I'm about to explain the situation with my 689 00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:18,600 best friend. They go classic. 690 00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:22,640 Let's start by saying that I'm a 20, I'm 23 and I think I'm 691 00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:25,080 bisexual but I haven't admitted it to anyone yet. 692 00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:27,640 All my relationships have been with men and I've been watching 693 00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:30,360 myself for a while and I've moments where I wish or imagine 694 00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:33,640 how I'm in a relationship with a particular girl friend or rather 695 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:35,960 acquaintance. We are not close, we have 696 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,320 written to each other a few times and we bump into each 697 00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:40,920 other outside. I find her very interesting as a 698 00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:42,400 person. I'm not sure if I just want to 699 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:46,160 be closer with her, be a part, be a part of my life, or I do 700 00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:48,920 want a relationship with her. I mean, it's all free. 701 00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:50,640 I think. Like you don't. 702 00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:53,000 These are just the classic feelings that we've all had. 703 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:57,360 You're not alone. So on the essential part of this 704 00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:01,120 e-mail, in the fall of 2021, I met a girl, the sister of my ex, 705 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:03,080 now boyfriend. He told me at the beginning of 706 00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:05,800 the relationship that his sister did not like and approve of any 707 00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:08,199 of his girlfriends. In my case, the exact opposite 708 00:34:08,199 --> 00:34:10,120 happened. His sister and I really liked 709 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:11,639 each other. She's a year younger, our 710 00:34:11,639 --> 00:34:14,320 personalities match very well and we get along great. 711 00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:17,239 After a few months I broke up with her brother because the 712 00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:19,400 relationship itself wasn't working and I wasn't getting 713 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:21,480 what I deserved. Me and his sister became very 714 00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:24,159 close, started going out regularly, she even introduced 715 00:34:24,159 --> 00:34:25,840 me to her friends and we were having fun. 716 00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:29,000 Within two years we mutually managed to earn our trust to 717 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,800 such an extent and we would have so many moments together that 718 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:35,320 she is now one of my closest in bold friends. 719 00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:38,040 She's one of your funny friends and. 720 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,639 One of our fingering friends an FF. 721 00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:44,040 I'm not ABF and I am hers in brackets. 722 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:46,440 This is a serious title for me and it should be earned. 723 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,400 Don't think I'm giving it away just like that. 724 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,400 To this day we are inseparable in constant contact. 725 00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:53,960 We share everything, repeat and show each other that we love 726 00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:55,480 each other. Go. 727 00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:59,520 My hometown is Varna, located on Black Seacoast. 728 00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:01,720 God you're being so specific. You better hope she's not 729 00:35:01,720 --> 00:35:03,360 listening. I know maybe she spent. 730 00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:05,160 Almost the whole summer in my city. 731 00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:07,800 One of the things we have in common is that we are both very 732 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,920 loving and love to show our love to those closest to us. 733 00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:13,080 Our love language is physical touch. 734 00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:16,720 Oh. But like, you just still don't 735 00:35:16,720 --> 00:35:19,360 do that with. Friends like yeah, but yeah. 736 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,760 Because I love language. If it's your love language, it's 737 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,720 for the person that you're with. Right. 738 00:35:25,720 --> 00:35:30,840 We are constantly hugging, cuddling, biting, which is 739 00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:34,520 sexual like tension tenfold. We've got a biter, aren't we 740 00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:38,080 holding hands or just touching in some way? 741 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,440 The rest of my girlfriends aren't into cuddling and we 742 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:43,080 genuinely have very generally have very little physical 743 00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:45,720 contact and I'm super happy when someone else shows their love in 744 00:35:45,720 --> 00:35:48,680 the same way that I do. I'm sure you don't want your 745 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:52,160 other friends though to be constantly hugging, cuddling and 746 00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:55,320 biting you. When we are not together, we 747 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:56,920 repeat how much we miss each other. 748 00:35:57,240 --> 00:35:58,880 Oh, this is so. It's just so. 749 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:03,960 Queer this is as I said, she spent almost the whole summer in 750 00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:06,200 my city and most of the time she slept at home. 751 00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:08,680 We have already slept in the same bed a lot of time and she 752 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:11,840 cuddles into me all night. And before that she says how she 753 00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:13,640 can't wait to lie down and cuddle me. 754 00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:17,440 So she says. So gay, she says. 755 00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:20,040 I. This is just so gay. 756 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:23,000 It's literally my life, like my previous life, like my young 757 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:24,360 life. Gonna say which friend. 758 00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:28,360 We draw things on our backs with our fingers or simply scratch. 759 00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:31,680 She is not ashamed to be naked and change clothes and. 760 00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:33,600 Are you taking? Just fucking ready. 761 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,640 Like honestly. Taking the fucking piss. 762 00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:38,520 While I'm more shy, she has only seen me without a bra. 763 00:36:38,720 --> 00:36:40,600 She is much, much more girly than me. 764 00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:44,000 She regularly wears dresses, oh short dresses and likes to take 765 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,360 pictures. She has contacts with many men. 766 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:49,000 She likes men, she she wants sex with men. 767 00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:52,720 I'd argue she's over sexualizing herself to keep herself in the 768 00:36:52,720 --> 00:36:54,120 Hetch normative world, but here we are. 769 00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:56,880 Sometimes I find myself getting annoyed when she talks about 770 00:36:56,880 --> 00:37:00,200 someone who is texting her. Only fools are not serious for 771 00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,760 relationship guys in my opinion. Well you better fucking hope 772 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:03,880 not. She'll be more heartbroken if 773 00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:05,840 they are. I want her to be with someone 774 00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,320 who will love her as she deserves, cherish her and give 775 00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:10,280 her the world. Oh babe, you're in deep. 776 00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:13,440 Oh no, I know she wants a relationship with a boy. 777 00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,360 She never seemed to be interested in a girl. 778 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:18,440 Our personalities are quite compatible, we are a good duo, 779 00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:20,920 we have similar thinking about most things and we care for each 780 00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:24,080 other. We tease each other in a cute 781 00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:26,680 way and we argue sometimes, but not in a negative way. 782 00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:29,200 She has repeated many times that I'm one of the few people who 783 00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:31,960 does not annoy her. Now this summer, every time we 784 00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:35,440 cuddle in the evening I feel my heartbeat faster, I start to 785 00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:38,680 breathe harder and I feel she does too and I just really want 786 00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:41,800 to grow and kiss her face. Oh God this is giving me back 787 00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:43,720 like. Yeah, deep memory. 788 00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:45,720 Deep, yeah. I run my fingers down her back 789 00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:48,880 more gently and sexually ensure I feel sexual tension. 790 00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:51,200 I'm curious and I want to know what it's like to kiss her 791 00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:54,120 initial kiss me back. Part of me feels she would also, 792 00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:58,280 I imagine how I finger her sometimes she looks at me quite 793 00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:00,600 dirty and we just sit and look at each other for sometimes. 794 00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:02,520 Girl, she definitely wants a fuck. 795 00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:05,480 She's giving gay. Yeah, you're giving gay as. 796 00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:07,760 Well, she recently suggested that we make up our own 797 00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:10,080 nicknames so that we could only call each other that. 798 00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,160 As I mentioned, she's always been interested in boys and I 799 00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:14,440 don't know how she will react to me kissing her. 800 00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:16,880 I don't want to confuse her, ruin our friendship and make it 801 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:18,320 awkward. I'm afraid to do it because I 802 00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,160 know I don't know what her reaction will be. 803 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:23,920 At this age, I do not tend to do anything different than before 804 00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:25,600 and our relationship will remain the same. 805 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,800 That's torture. I want the best for her and I 806 00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:32,120 think I can give it to her by character and attitude. 807 00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:34,520 Unfortunately, she used to say she likes to feel a man's 808 00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:37,080 presence, to feel smaller and tenderness to a man. 809 00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:42,480 So hetch normative and boring. Just like this is society coming 810 00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:44,560 in hard. And the rest of things that 811 00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:47,440 we've talked about convinced me completely that she wouldn't 812 00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:48,560 have a relationship with a woman. 813 00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,920 No, I don't mind kissing or just playing with each other 814 00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,920 sometimes if she was OK with it and we both agree and know it's 815 00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:55,800 purely sexual and just for the moment thing. 816 00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,480 OK, OK. What advice can you give? 817 00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:01,280 I would make the first move because it sounds like right now 818 00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:03,560 they she's probably thinking it is that same thing. 819 00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:05,120 Someone just needs to make the first move. 820 00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:07,400 I think she. Sounds more like the one in the 821 00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:10,960 closet than yes, for sure. But that's that's always the 822 00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:12,640 case, as we've gone through before. 823 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:15,800 Yeah, I don't think you can go wrong by kissing her. 824 00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:17,520 All the signs of it makes you. Feel any better? 825 00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:19,400 You know, and she says about like, feeling a man's presence 826 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:21,640 and that I remember telling my first ever girlfriend before we 827 00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:26,040 did anything, that I love having sex with men. 828 00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:27,320 No, you didn't. Yeah. 829 00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:31,840 Why would you say that? Because I was so not because 830 00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:34,280 like, that can't be true, but for you it's certainly not true. 831 00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,520 So not me. I was just. 832 00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:39,240 So, babe, when I tell you I was so in the fucking closet, I 833 00:39:39,240 --> 00:39:41,400 would do anything to appear a straight. 834 00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:44,840 So I would say, yeah, I don't really like the look of a penis, 835 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:49,800 but I like the feel of it. Yeah, exactly. 836 00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:54,200 So just take that I think. Like, all the signs are there 837 00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:55,920 that you should do this, right? Yeah. 838 00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:57,560 OK. There is a percentage that 839 00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:00,840 you're going to get rejected, but better know than live in the 840 00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,280 fucking what if. And also, I've been there 841 00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:05,000 before. This is exactly what happened 842 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:08,240 with my first love, my straight best friend. 843 00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:11,080 I went through four years of literally what you were 844 00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:14,320 describing now, OK. And I did not get the result I 845 00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:16,040 wanted. Like, we kissed and stuff, and 846 00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:17,560 then we pretend that it didn't happen. 847 00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:19,320 And then she'd tell me how straight. 848 00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:20,880 She was and blah blah blah blah blah. 849 00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:23,480 Do things to protect. Your that did not kill me. 850 00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:25,840 OK? At the time, I felt like it was 851 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,840 going to kill me to be rejected by this person. 852 00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:30,240 It didn't. I went on to bigger and better 853 00:40:30,240 --> 00:40:32,040 things. And now I'm with someone that 854 00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:36,400 I'm very, very, very happy with. And at that time, that person, I 855 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:39,600 honestly, because it was my coming out as well, thought that 856 00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:41,680 that was like the only person in the world. 857 00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:45,320 No one else would ever compare. Like it was a feeling that I 858 00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:47,880 can't even describe because it was like desperation of four 859 00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:49,920 years of sheer build up. Yeah. 860 00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:54,080 It felt amazing when I finally took the thing and I'd done it 861 00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:56,960 and we made out and whatever. And then yeah, I got rejected 862 00:40:56,960 --> 00:41:00,200 multiple times after and I would get told that she's like 100% 863 00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:02,440 straight, she likes men, she's not interested in me, all of 864 00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,400 this shit. And it fucking killed me. 865 00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:07,400 But it made me who I am today. But I don't regret any of it 866 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,240 because like. It's a journey. 867 00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:12,600 It's a journey and I'm glad I'd done that and went through the 868 00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:14,800 heartache. Then staying is trying to just 869 00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:16,840 be the gay best friend who's in love with her. 870 00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:20,240 Watching her getting dicked down by a man, knowing what it was 871 00:41:20,240 --> 00:41:23,200 like to feel like to kiss her is that I'm glad I went for it you 872 00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:26,320 even if I got rejected. Like after maybe she needs a bit 873 00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:29,320 more she's to see what lesbians are actually like. 874 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:31,320 Maybe you should send her like one of our videos or something 875 00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:33,600 on Instagram and be like, oh, have you seen these girls? 876 00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:36,640 Just see her reaction. Also another bit of side advice, 877 00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:39,200 maybe what you need to do is become comfortable in yourself, 878 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:42,600 comfortable in your sexuality. Go on your own journey, go out, 879 00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:46,400 date girls, get with girls, talk about it openly with her, see 880 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:47,160 how she. Reacts. 881 00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:50,200 This is a very good idea. You go out because you're not 882 00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:52,880 making peace with yourself, so you're trying to find peace of 883 00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:55,840 your sexuality with this other girl who clearly doesn't really 884 00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:58,520 understand her sexuality. It's not going to give you that 885 00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:00,400 because you're not surrounding yourself with your people. 886 00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:04,400 You need to go out and you need to find queer friends or go on 887 00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:07,960 dates, kiss girls, have a bit of fun, discover yourself, think 888 00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,920 about who you are, own who you are, be happy in it. 889 00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:13,760 Present that back to her. It'll go one or two ways. 890 00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:16,760 She'll either you'll create a path for her that she didn't 891 00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:20,120 even know existed where she will be like actually maybe you know, 892 00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:22,560 I do really like this person even if it's through jealousy. 893 00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:24,680 Or you send her on her own path of discovery. 894 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:28,440 Or she turns around and goes that's great for you, really not 895 00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:30,520 my vibe, Whatever. By that point, you're probably 896 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:33,400 having so much fun with loads of other queer people you won't 897 00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:35,240 even give a share. Yeah, well, I'm just really as 898 00:42:35,240 --> 00:42:38,720 soon. As I found my people mm hmm, the 899 00:42:38,720 --> 00:42:42,200 the infatuation I had with my straight best friend dissipated 900 00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,160 with an about. 3:00 And also you've just got other people to 901 00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:46,240 just like talk about this kind of shit with as well. 902 00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:48,960 And there is plenty more of a fish in the sea. 903 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:50,160 Oh, there is. There's plenty of. 904 00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:53,040 There's plenty of pussy in the sea. 905 00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:55,000 There's. Plenty of Puss in the Ocean. 906 00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:59,800 There's plenty of there's plenty of minge in the Mariana Trench. 907 00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:03,200 There is plenty of Puss in the Pond A. 908 00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:06,160 Puss in the. Pond that took me a long time. 909 00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:09,800 It did. There is plenty of no, I'm I'm 910 00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:13,080 out, you're out, I'm out. I was trying to think of AO word 911 00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:19,120 for vagina for ocean. Plenty of clit in the Pacific. 912 00:43:20,240 --> 00:43:22,720 Pussy in the Pacific. Pussy in the Pacific there is 913 00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:26,600 plenty of vagina. Labia. 914 00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:33,680 But what's of? Labia in the labia in the the 915 00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:38,440 stream. No plenty of labia in the land. 916 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:44,480 Wow, we are. Pathetic. 917 00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:50,040 There is plenty of There's plenty of boob in the boomerang 918 00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:54,760 tube, no? There's plenty of cunt. 919 00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:56,360 What's that? Wait wait, what? 920 00:43:56,360 --> 00:43:57,960 Rhymes a cunt? Front. 921 00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:02,640 No. Cunt munt done 1 shunt Lunt. 922 00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:07,840 No, you need to think of like world What rhymes of earth 923 00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:12,680 girls. No, because that's men isn't it? 924 00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:14,720 There's plenty of breast in the West. 925 00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:18,520 What about those in the South? I think she's in West Varna, she 926 00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:19,840 said. Oh, perfect. 927 00:44:20,240 --> 00:44:22,920 OK on that. Note there is plenty vagina in 928 00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:24,240 varna. I know it. 929 00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:28,240 There's plenty of vagina. If you're in Varna, can you 930 00:44:28,240 --> 00:44:31,840 reach out so we can give this baby Gay some initiation? 931 00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:35,080 Please be kind. We love you guys, we will speak 932 00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:36,360 to you. Oh, we've got a very. 933 00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:37,920 We've got a. Very special guest. 934 00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:39,760 The next episode which is actually in 2 days. 935 00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:41,840 Yeah. So will this be out by then? 936 00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:43,920 Yeah, you're going to get it out that quick. 937 00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:45,000 I'm going to try. OK. 938 00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:48,320 So should we just tell them before just in case, OK. 939 00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:49,400 Just. You tune. 940 00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:51,800 In I mean, you're all gonna know who you wait, You're not gonna 941 00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:53,320 know who it is, but you're gonna know it. 942 00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:55,920 Well, it's a reference to you and we cannot fucking. 943 00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:59,440 Wait, I am pissing myself I feel like. 944 00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:02,040 We've already reached the peak very soon in on this. 945 00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,400 Podcast I can die now. Like I don't need to do it. 946 00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:07,040 After that, no, fuck it, give up after that yeah right. 947 00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:11,000 Love you guys and next event we will be putting on our YEAH. 948 00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:12,360 It will be. Instagram very soon. 949 00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:15,120 We're trying to work out venues at the moment. 950 00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:15,920 We're trying. We're doing a. 951 00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:20,360 Christmas clit edition. Christmas clits, Tinseltit. 952 00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:24,960 Santa's shit. Elfie Minge. 953 00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:30,520 Elfie polar purse, camel toe mistletoe. 954 00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:35,640 Do do do do do do do. Santa's Grotto. 955 00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:36,800 In my bottle.