Hi quiz lesbians and Narnia straight women welcome to
episode don't know what anymore of the lesbian supper club.
I've been having so many messages from you guys recently
talking about how much you're loving the podcast, Which I know
that like you say to us, you're like, oh, you must get so many
of these, blah, blah. But like, please be aware, we've
read every single one of them and we love it.
And it like, spurs us on. If there's anything that we need
is our ego stroking. Yeah, continuously, 100%.
I need compliments all the time. A lot of things need stroking in
our life. Actually.
Shut up. If we sound weird today, it's
because the hay fever in London is fucked.
It's vile and I can barely breathe.
As mentioned in the previous episodes, the Sudafed Blue is
getting rinsed to say the least. Also word of warning, if you're
not on Sudafed blue, don't don't go on it.
On it, No. It's a dangerous, dangerous
addiction. Because every night I hear the
following No, wait, wait. Nasal Spray.
That. Please.
And then you go fray, can you go into the car and get my nasal
spray and that really when you've just gotten into bed and
then. Maybe I actually feel like
bringing. This mic across the room just
for that. Well, maybe if you were a
responsible adult and thought about taking it out the car for
me, you wouldn't have to go get it, would you?
Would you? At the end of the day, that
sounds very much like a you problem.
Fair. Do you know what?
What, put 3 minutes in, we're 3 minutes in.
I don't have the energy the hay fever is pulling my lids to
fucking Australia do. You choke on the spores or do
you like sniff them? Do you know what I mean?
They get. I think both Oh, I, I'm a
choker, she's a sniffer. I'm I'm.
Doing both. So yeah, I am.
Pray is. Definitely a choker.
It goes right to the back of my throat.
Every time I walk past you, you just give me a little sniff.
Actually, you're I feel you're a chronic.
You smell nice today. No, that's her.
That's for me. She's the sniffer.
I'm a sniffer and a choker babe. I've got all.
I mean that's why I am with with the with the fucking allergy
that I am choking on at the front and centre.
Like it literally catches me off guard and then I'm choking.
It's the only time in my life I will be actively choking.
Yeah, really bad. Really, really bad.
We've had a crazy few days ago as well, haven't we?
Yeah, I mean, you got yourself far too trashed, which will come
as a surprise to absolutely no one.
But we were just saying that I have drank more on nights out
very recently and not. Felt actually have those nights
though. AI still think I'm tiny bit
unwell B. It was my first day of my period
C I had barely eaten and that's that's where the problem comes
in is when I think that I'm fucking hard and can just sink
booze like a six foot £200 man I.
Mean you literally can. Well, I'll give it a good go.
I felt like you could handle alcohol.
I felt like you could outdrink Scarlet though, like.
You guys have never seen me drunk.
No, and I'm shine to see you drunk.
Yeah, how many nights out have we been on?
We've been on so many nights out and Marsala has never been drunk
for any of those nights. Why?
I think it's kids.
I don't know, you guys are fucking hilarious when you're
drunk and on our nights out, like The Yellow Door and Lisa's
are some of my favourite nights out.
Yeah. So, yeah, yeah.
Like literally better than anywhere.
Yeah, but why? Is it because you want to be
sober? To actually witness.
I'd probably want to witness and save myself.
Well, we do strip, so we do. Strip.
There's always. I'm waiting to get Marcelo drunk
so he can strip as well. Maybe we'll make a tick tock
about it. Be a lot of fun.
I'd enjoy that. I would.
Love that. Let's be in supper club night
out. We are talking about two topics
today, one of which is why do lesbians stay friends with their
exes? Which I really am excited to
talk about and then we're going to talk about you guys have
always in the DMS asking us a how do we meet lesbians or like
how do you meet someone? And I get out of their day as
well. And B, how do you talk to Fleur
and have a successful first date?
I don't know why the fuck you're asking.
Any of you would think that we'd be giving you good advice
because clearly you haven't listened to our first date.
But maybe they can learn what not to do.
Well, clearly you. Can learn from my mistakes I've
made plenty of but. Doesn't this just go to show
there's not a lot of lesbian shit in the media?
The fact that these fuckers have to ask us is no cry for help.
Scraping at the barrel. Guys desperation it truly.
Is. So if you want to continue to be
a little bit chaotic, be our guest.
Take our advice, go for it. So the lesbians being friends
with their exes is a really interesting one because you're
friends are both of your exes. Yes, and I'm friends of neither
of mine, Yes. What?
Does that say about me? And what does that say about
you? I'm a cunt.
You're not. I don't give a fuck.
There you go, conversation over. No, I think no, no, you can
never put it down. I don't think to, actually.
It's a combination of the two, right?
It's a combination of the person that's the the new girlfriend
and the ex. I think it's a combination of
the dynamic between the two. Yeah.
Also how things were left. Yeah.
And also if there's yeah, if there's like carried on malice
without any kind of like resolve to that or like resolute, you're
not going to really want to hang out with.
Her I think there's just so many layers to this like because.
But it is more more prevalent. Sorry to like jump in.
No no, it's more prevalent for lesbians to stay friends with
their ex than straight. So why do we think that is?
To start off with, I think it's because the connection.
I'm not saying is is better, but it's definitely different to
that of heterosexual relationships.
And I think it's easier and I, I think this goes back to the last
episode as well, when we were talking about lesbian bed death.
It's easier to become best friends with your lesbian
girlfriend. I.
Think it's more than that. I think the lesbian pool is so
small. I think you might fuck yourself
a little bit by not still having that connection.
In a way. I think a lot of people
thriving. I know you're thriving.
I don't absolutely. I can understand why a lot of
people would want to stay friends because it's quite
difficult because they're all so interconnected.
Especially if you've got like a bigger friendship group.
It's like all lesbians, they all hang out and your ex was a part
of that. So say for instance, if if me
and you, we'd have. To we'd have to go, we'd have to
stay to stay friends. Amicable.
Yeah, when 100? Percent intense therapy.
I'd probably have to move country to be honest with you
because like I couldn't deal with the with the hassle.
I can't be arsed. I don't know if that's
necessarily it. I I will go back to disagreeing
with you and thinking it is down to the connection because I
think and, and you're right, it's down to the person because
I am a lot more cutthroat than you, which we all know.
Yes, there's pros and cons to being cutthroat.
There's pros and cons to not being cutthroat.
You are more willing to give people 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th six
chances. Whereas I'm like, on my 103
strikes, you're fucking out. Out.
And as you say, I think it depends on the ex as well.
So like your ex is particularly your first ex.
It was very much, you know, like it was never going to be a long
term thing because she lives in Brazil.
You were really young. It was your first lesbian
relationship. Those things you like.
Yeah, it goes against you, right.
And so there was a lot of, but there was still a lot of love
there. And you, I mean, you can talk
about this, but you, you formed a relationship with that person
that was originally built on a friendship, wasn't it?
No. I thought you said when you were
messaging back and forth you were friends for.
A There was no there was intent from the get go.
We weren't like, it wasn't like we went from.
You lied to me, little lion fucking slut.
No, it was, it was friendly, but it didn't mean that there was an
intent from there from like quite early on within the
relationship building. I think that you kind of don't
make fucking pen pals anymore. Like, however, 1000 miles away.
You make penpers. Penpers, but no pen pals.
So yeah. And that was definitely, I mean,
I've just thought about some of the rogue voice notes I used to
say, because I don't think it was like, I don't think WhatsApp
was around there. It was.
What was it called? MSN.
No, not MSN Facebook Messenger. I think it was Facebook
Messenger, but there was also this one Viber.
Where you called. Skype.
Viber is a bit like live. Genji in the room hasn't got a
fucking. But yeah, that was.
Years younger than me. Grow up.
Grow. Up live there, there are
obviously like there are differences within why you would
want to stay friends as well. So like, I think for me, I yeah,
there was still a lot of love there and and I didn't.
And ultimately it comes down to the point where like I will
spend years with someone. I can't fathom cutting them
completely out of my life because that's really painful to
me. Unless they are a piece of
fucking shit then I can't. You know what I mean?
But let me say this, it doesn't happen straight away.
I couldn't just like break up with someone.
It took. A while to get back to that.
Oh yeah, it took years for me and my first ex to be friends
again and be on like a good level without talking, without
any kind of like little niggles or something.
And and it's whether you're willing as well, because I
wouldn't, I wouldn't say that you have to be friends with your
ex at all. But I think in a way it's a
shame because you, you clearly liked that person for having
listening. That's the.
Rule and there's always like in every in every case, but I would
say from an outside perspective on your situations, I would say
Scarlett and you like your personality types make the
perfect balance in place. And I think that that's why you
guys are successful. Whereas I think in a different
relationship, Scarlett's personality traits was someone
who maybe is more similar to you or has conflicting.
Or is really sensitive, would be fucked.
Yeah, I think you're. Someone who wouldn't let you
care for them. Someone who wouldn't accept your
generosity. Someone who wouldn't.
Would take advantage of that as well.
Take advantage. Of that and I think you've
experienced that in friendships and I think that's yeah in my
opinion why well totally see that but I also.
Because my first girlfriend I actually really tried to stay
friends with. I really did try.
I really wanted to be friends with this person because beyond
the relationship, I did really like this person.
But she made it impossible because even in a, even when I
was trying to be friends with this person, she continued to
lie to me, which was really bizarre because I was really
clear about the boundary and was like.
I think what I'll know I don't care about as well of like
friends of your ex, they tend to stay in that same mentality as
if you were still. Together, they don't know how to
break. Away from that.
So even if they're not in love with you anymore and you're not
in a relationship. It's hard to communicate
differently. It's.
Hard to figure that out because you've got to relearn the way
that you talk to this person because you'll have to speak to
them very differently. You talk about different things.
And so, you know, I can understand why she probably
stayed in that man. It's not saying it's right, but
no, she probably. It was really, it was just
really difficult to navigate a friendship, really difficult.
Like we met up once properly after the breakup, I I'd had a
new girlfriend at the time she was dating my best friend, which
obviously I didn't know about, but I thought she was single.
And we met up and IA found it really sad.
I found it really upsetting actually.
I found it really hard to be. Take care.
I don't think that you were over her when you met her that time
because I don't think you would have been as upset.
Or agreed I also. Think I.
Yearned for her. I didn't want her back but I
yearned for something now and I don't know what it was but I was
also. But I The thing is, you say
that, but at the time I thought she was dating one of our other
friends and that wasn't my best friend and it didn't bother me.
I wanted her to speak about it. I was quite happy to discuss
that that didn't upset me or but then.
Maybe again, falling back into that same like what we used to
be kind of like expecting a person to be a certain way.
Even if you're not into them anymore, it's kind of upsetting
to see them in a different light because it's a it's a real
reality change. Because sometimes as well, it's
hard not to think that, you know, I would have sat in this
same pub with you that we're having a drink at now as a
friend before on a date, and the conversation would have been
entirely different. How the fuck do I now feel like
that meant nothing? No, because it meant something
at the time. But just because you say
something at the time and you're with someone and you have
intention at the time to be a certain way, doesn't mean that
you owe them that forever either.
With with this and 1st ex is like there was a deep love
there. Even though it was really like
not meant to be. There was a deep love there, but
looking back now, me and that person could not be more
different as individuals and not in a good way, not in an
opposite subtract way in a we just don't like.
Now I understand why we're not friends because I wouldn't
choose that person as my friend. And that's not even to say
because of the things that they've done or that the
mistakes in the relationship. Just as a person, we are so
fundamentally different, there'd be no common ground for us.
Can I just quickly like I'm going to jump in and say like
complete opposite. Thank you on the on the complete
opposite side of the spectrum, just because I'm friends right
with a couple of my exes and keep in touch and you know, it
doesn't mean that you can't say fuck you, you're a cunt.
I'm never speaking to you ever again and just cut them out of
your life because some people. Do hate to do that.
They do. They do hate to do that.
You've got issues with that. I.
Don't know we've got issues. Well, we already know that we're
doing this is what we're trying to do that I, I, I think it is
because going back to my initial point, you can slip in to best
friends. So the love.
I think friends, you fucking let them go.
That's I don't. Think it's no, but you don't.
I think it's different because I think a lot of straight couples
form best friend relationships with their friends as well.
I want to know what it is. Why does it agree?
Completely, there is the breakdown of girls nights and
boys nights. There's this whole thing in
Hetchinormative society where they're like the lads go and do
their things and the women go, go and do.
Their yeah, I get that. But what I'm saying I knew.
I don't understand that. You don't have that though,
which is why yours and lives relationship will be closer in
that sense because you don't have that toxic masculinity
where you're like, I want a fucking large night where I can
take shots of someone's burned and she's not desperate.
You know what a loads of you know.
What do you know what screams gay lads nights?
Yeah, it's gay it. Screams gay.
Heterosexual people do are like more best friends.
Like I don't know how. To listen.
OK Joe, what? I think you missed my point.
Now what I'm saying is, yes, lesbians definitely do make best
friends with their girlfriends, right?
But I don't think that that is the reason as to why.
Why do you think the? Reason I'm trying to work it
out. I'm not saying that I know, but
what I'm saying is I don't think that that is the solid reason.
I think it's more to do with like, there's almost like a
level of it probably goes back to what we were saying before
about not being any rules and relationships as much, but like
lesbian relationships and straight relationships.
We don't know what the fuck that.
Suppose it's not that thing where it's like done and over.
Yeah, but a divorce papers have been signed, but there's also a
lot of like similarities and a lot of solidarity with a lesbian
partner because you go through so much with them.
Probably I would say more than what a straight couple with just
generally. So I don't know if it's more of
like a lonely feeling that you're like, fuck, this person
isn't there anymore. And if you don't have like a
solid foundation around you, like how are you supposed to
deal with that? Like it's hard.
I think goes back to the thing that I've always said with you
girls about about I, I, and please correct me if I'm wrong
because, you know, obviously this is completely out of my
field and, and, but I do think that the connection that girls
have as friends, like two straight girls as friends is a
lot deeper than men have with. The yeah, 100%.
I actually, and I think that's because of toxic masculinity.
Do you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna message.
No, I'm gonna message both of my answers right now.
And I'm gonna say, why do you think we're still friends?
I'm talking about it on the podcast.
So I'm doing it now, OK. You do that.
I'm so I live my life so, which isn't always correct, but I live
my life so black and white and I have my my thoughts on what I
think is right or wrong for myself and what I let into my
life and, and the people I let into my life that I don't really
put things into a grey area, whereas I think Freya does.
But both of you, I think both of you are like you've got so much
intelligence and I think that both of you deal with those that
intelligence in different ways. Yeah.
So for me, I'm like, OK, it's
done. Like my second breakup, like it
was just so done. There was just nothing.
There was just nothing for me there that needed to stay, you
know, like and I imagine and I and I imagine it's probably the
same for that person. Like I don't think again, deep
down, like we had much in common.
I think we did she. Was more of like a transition
relationship. I think, yeah, I think looking
back now and I'll hold my hands up, I think it was like I, I was
passing the emotion on from the 1st to the 2nd and it really
wasn't intentional because I would have swore blind at the
time I was over my first girlfriend genuinely would of.
But looking back now, now I've matured a bit, I can definitely
see that. And yeah, I don't think me and
that person have just had any need to stay friends.
I, I have, no, I have no hate. Like if I saw that person out,
I'd like, I'd be nice. Like I, I, you know, I, I have,
no, I have, I have no hate towards either of my exes.
I have a lot of, I don't have a lot of time for the things that
happened, but I don't have any hate there.
But there was just no need for me to be friends with them.
Whereas like we've gone back to it like me and you, there would
be a lot of. Of similarities there, there'd
be a. Lot of needs to keep you in my
life for various like first of all, you'd still have to cook.
I was about to say, would I be cooking for you still?
100% I just if. You break up with me, get
fucked. Do you know what I would never?
And do you know what I would do to get back at you?
I would cook for the hottest girls ever and I would just post
it every night. Just different meals, different
girls. That's fine, so I'll keep the
dog away from you. Oh, interesting, that isn't it.
Yeah, I'll keep the dog away from you and I'll never look
good. Good.
Good luck going out pulling all these hot girls.
Yeah, in your fucking creased, stinking clothes that you don't
know how to wash. You don't care how to.
No, they're not now, but they would be if I didn't do the
linen for you. No, you don't.
You don't know how to hang them. And when you hang them, they
dry. Dacking shirt.
When I go out, I'll just wear a T-shirt.
That's fine, it still be creased.
Go out, try and pull these hot bitches in your creased Yankee
fucking clothes and cook them. Whatever.
You want I managed to pull you so.
You're on salt in yourself with your mum.
Yeah, she's holding yourself even faster.
Than you're washing. No she didn't.
Yes she did. Yes she did.
Call her up like chillies washing.
Call her up now and I already like chillies.
She did my washing. I did it all myself for it was
Jelly. Me.
It was Jelly, right? So.
Don't hold food over my head, Fred, 'cause it'll make me
really fucking. Angry.
I'll get those fucking cat boots and I'm going to whack them
around your head in a minute. I'm going to.
Shove them up, you're fucking. Make it a promise.
Gaping vagina. Escaping.
So I asked. I asked both of my exes, I said,
recording the podcast at the moment and talking about staying
friends with your exes. Why do you think we've stayed
friends? Hashtag how?
Yeah. Come back.
One of them has so second ex has come back already.
Fucking how? I thought it'd be the first one.
So she came back straight away. I love this.
Good question. There was obviously a long
period of time where we weren't friends, which is what I said
before, which allowed us both to heal and get perspective
simultaneously. We watched each other fall in
love again and be able to separate the person from the
past and build on that friendship because we didn't
carry grudges. And we at the bottom line is we
care about each other. That's a philosophical analysis.
On a less serious note, I think you're calling girlfriends fit
fair. I'll take it, I'll take that.
And that's really. Interesting.
Actually, that's really funny because that is kind of what I
said that's. Beautiful, that is.
Really nice. That is amazing.
That was really nice thing to say.
Thank. You.
That's why you're still friends. Yeah, Well, well.
That's the main. Thing for me right is that I
wouldn't stay friends with them if they were cunts.
I just couldn't. I also want to talk about that
because linked to that, if you then meet a girl who's still
friends with their ex, how do you navigate that?
Because this has obviously happened with me twice with
Freya and I know that it would be bothersome for a lot of
people to point. Of contention with every
relationship. Yeah, 100%.
But for me it wasn't because it was that whole thing of like,
we're together now and I trust you.
It's not down to me to decide who you can and cannot be
friends with. Unless I thought those people
were actively treating you badly in our life now, your history
has got nothing to do with me. I wasn't there.
I couldn't comment if those people are being good to you
now. And that is a choice that you
make. I think it's got nothing.
To support me somebody's decision, because at the end of
the day, you can't change my decision.
And also where you're at for a reason.
So again, if you, if you that didn't work out for a reason, it
doesn't take anything for me for you to allow those people in
their in your life. And I know a lot of people would
be like, well, what's the risk that they'll get back together?
Well, then do it. Yeah, like, I'm not going to.
But it's the same with everything.
Stay with me. If you want to get back with
your ex, fuck off and get back with them.
Like, yeah, would I be heartbreaking?
Yes, I would. But if anything, maybe you want.
To see them more. If somebody says you can't see
them, I'm like, well, I've already said to you, I want to
see them. You've now said that I can't.
So now I really want to fucking go because you've tried to put
control over me and I don't like that.
My mum wanted me to be straight and look how that turned out.
She should have never asked for that.
It's all her fault. It is all her fault.
I was like, oh, you want me to do straight?
Disgusting. Yeah.
So we haven't actually got anywhere with this conversation
in terms of like, we don't have the answers, I think.
It's really good ideas. No, we've got we've, we've
explored a lot of things. There's no conclusion here.
I just think it's like, if it's right for you and you and that
person are meant to be in each other's lives in a platonic way,
you'll find your way. And if not, you won't and you
just wish them well and you carry on with your life.
Someone commented on the TikTok tattoo thing of me rinsing you
about the Emma Chamberlain tattoo.
She obviously and was like, this is coming from someone who got
an unstoppable tramp stamp. Unstoppable.
What is? Unforgettable someone.
Thought you forgot it. Literally I forgot it.
Someone come at me and was like this guy, like she's rinsing her
and she got an untouchable tramp stamp.
Is it unforgettable? Oh fuck, now.
And I was thinking a little cunt.
Yeah, I did and BI wasn't rinsing the.
Can I just clarify? I love phrase tattoos.
That wasn't the point of the conversation.
That banter and yeah, they came. What people do.
You know what people don't seem to understand sometimes in the
comments is our banter. Oh.
My God, can you stop telling us we're toxic?
We fucking know. Can.
I can. I clarify this being as I I
spend most of my. You're this year third person.
I'm holding a water. This is our third.
Our third relationship is ourselves as well.
It's Marcelo. Yeah, well, I can say safely
it's definitely not toxic. They love each other in the
world. And also like I think it it it.
Like so it's banner. Banner.
But it also like. It adds just the.
Crack you. Guys, it makes you guys happy.
Yeah, name Alice it. Makes you happy.
Because we enjoy it. Malice intended.
Not to speak, maybe like was is it better to sit there and just
not talk or? You have a bit.
Of fun and. Neither of you, but also never
get hurt. No, no.
Both tough as nails. She'd fucking know if it hurt my
feelings as well. And then you would stop.
Yeah, but that's the thing. I don't like to be perceived as
being like some little girlfriend of yours that's
getting offended left, right and.
Also, can I just say. You went for that.
I'm going to have to clip that. Also do.
You know what? Scarlett doesn't start just
really quickly. Whenever I edit these videos, it
makes me laugh so much because the whole time I'm speaking,
Scarlett's like this. She's just wait.
She's not listening, she's just waiting for a chance to talk.
Ohh, well that's funny because I can relay probably every single
thing you start. You said from the start of this.
You know, Podcast today said it all before and you know it.
People think that I rule the roost, but you actually in some
sense rule the roost. You do, because I'll be quite
like Bang Bang, Bang, but like, I will come off the ledge quite
quick. Yes, you.
Can get a little bit more like calculated with like your your
shit and I'm like fuck, she's gonna come for me and I actually
poo my pants a little bit. You'll admit when you're wrong
in 10 seconds. Yeah, you know what as well with
me. She.
Doesn't because because she OK, so listen here because.
And I don't have to because. I don't in 10 seconds a lot of
the time because I'm not the handle as quickly as you, right?
You're always on the edge, right?
You're always up here. Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding,
Ding, Ding. Because I'm not up here, it
means that. This fucking IPA I am trash.
So, so as soon, so as soon as I as soon as I tell anyone off or
anything happens, people take it way worse when it comes from me
because like it's not the norm and I fucking mean it.
Whereas you fly off the handle all the time.
So people are like, Oh, I need. To sort that out because I want
to be taken seriously. Can I?
I would like an example where Scarlet's flown off the handle
without without obvious, you know, agitation or reason.
God, the last 24 hours, what's up?
Could I just say? So Liv has noticed, Liv has
witnessed this happen. Is it can be little things.
So it's like, say, for instance, we'll be like.
Keep your mouth. In the car and I'll ask a little
something and be like, OK, babe, can we just like we were, we
were outside this pub that I really wanted to go to.
It was really busy outside. No listen, it was really busy
outside. So I so I want to stay outside
the pub for like a second in the car just to see if anyone was
going to move. We literally because she hadn't
even stopped the car, right? So I was like, OK, can we just
have a quick look Freya, it's going to be busy.
No one's going to move and I want to fucking have a pint and
I don't want her to sit here and I got the dog.
What am I supposed to do with the fucking dog anyway?
So straight away, right, she's flown off the handle over
something that is so minimal, so minor.
OK. And you go off on what?
OK, let me come back with this. Thank you.
Freya has very much my way or the highway, so if Freya.
Wants to go. That's not true.
Shut up. I let you speak.
That is category. Untrue my way or the highway a
lot of the time. So she decides she really wants
to go somewhere she'll try and make it happen right.
So we went past this pub. She really wanted to go there.
I wanted to go there as well. When we initially drove past it
was quite empty outside. So I was like great we can go
and get our friend we can come back to this pub.
I have been to this pub a lot more than Freya and she's like,
I used to go message Caroline Davidson right fucking now and
ask her how many times we used to go to that pub before I was
with you. Ask her messenger.
No, she hasn't. Messenger.
Carry on, Messenger. Carry on.
I have been to this pub a lot more times than Freya and I know
that when the clock strikes like basically 5:00 it.
Gets. Round straight away.
So as we pulled back round to this pub I could see from a
distance all of the seats were full and because we had the dog
up with us we didn't want to sit inside anyway.
So I was like it's full out, it's full outside, like where
should we go? Fred doesn't answer me, and I'm
like Freya because I know she still wants to go in there,
which is fair enough, but we can't because all the fucking
seats are full and I know. And people are going to stay
there as well because they've just turned out.
Because it's whether you. Have this opinion or not, I'm
not. Saying like, we're fucking going
because you then stand there and look at me because you still
want to go in there. So you'd rather sit and wait in
the car and it's like, let's. Just go through seconds.
I'm not saying that your opinion was wrong, but what I'm saying
is your delivery can be. Your delivery is what offends me
and what fucking annoys me and makes me want to smash your
skinny little ass into. Oh my God, the ice lolly
incident. OK, so this actually upset Liv.
So the other day I was out and about getting picking up
Scarlett's antibiotics for her strep throat, right whilst I'm
out. I had to wait because the the
pharmacist was actually on a lunch break.
So I was like, well, I'm not gonna go home, I'm just gonna
poop it around. And I was on the phone to live
I'm. Fucking coming for you for this
episode the whole time I fucking AM.
The whole time I was walking around talking to them, I went
to go get myself a coffee. Then I went into M&S 'cause I
just remembered that the doctor had said previously, make sure
you're like sucking on like an isolated.
That was just in my head. I'm not saying that I don't
already know this sensory issue of yours, OK?
But in my head, I was thinking of what the doctor said, and I
was thinking of something that was gonna calm your throat down.
So I purchased a coconut lime ice lolly from M&S and then I
took it home already. Watering, and not in a good way,
because. My feet.
I took it. Home burning right now because I
have such bad sensory. I took it home with your
medication, with some other bits that I bought you from Boots to
help you out right which? I was very.
Grateful. And then as soon as I put the
ice lollies on there, Scarlett acted like I'd just gotten a
fucking dead cat and placed it on the bed.
You reacted so badly and so vicious and shouted at me just
for buying you those ice lollies because you're.
Sensory just now handed. It was out of order.
Yeah right it was. But I've been really ill for
days and I. Managed to shout though, didn't
you? Sore throat, yeah.
Didn't have a problem with shouting to swallow.
But not shout. Yeah, so liver's on the other
end of the bone. That I have like I literally
can't even bear to watch someone eating ice lolly like it's so
bad it makes me want to throw up do.
This on the next podcast. Like I can't even.
Think about it makes. Me gag like I'm actually
sweating I'm sweating now I'm actually sweating and thinking
about it so I'm really ill in bed and Freya just chat yeah you
don't understand like my. Teeth are hurting, I know so
when she. Chucks a bag of ice lollies on
the beds. Yeah, it makes me furious.
I'm not saying it's rational. I never once said it was
rational. But in that moment in my brain,
I was like, you know how much I hate.
I couldn't be about to cry. I could be dying and someone
could say to me. It really is a level strong.
Dying. Knees.
I could be dying and someone could say.
Lollies on a sweater. Already it will save your life.
And I would not eat the ice lolly, OK?
You wouldn't save my life for having.
No, I don't. My life.
I fucking certainly would save yours.
No, even less. You're joking.
You're fucking joking. I'm not fucking joking.
I probably take a nibble for Ziggy.
That is it. So you wouldn't you wouldn't
suck on an ice lolly, would I say?
But yeah, well, you wanted. To.
I don't. You wanted.
To fuck off as well in the corner.
Yeah, well, Liv was just trying to help me thinking of a
scenario. Do you know when you and assy to
me is on you've? Done.
Nothing, Liv. You've started to do this thing
now, but Freya hates me singing. No, I don't hate you singing.
Whilst I hate is that whenever I start singing, whenever I
whenever I start singing to something, she has to sing 10
decibels higher than I do, so louder.
When she starts singing it excites me.
Then I start singing a great but but then you have a go at me.
I don't have a go at you. Ruin the song, because you'll
be. Trying to sing along to
something and then all of a sudden I hear and so much and
I'm like Oh my fucking God. Well, it's not my fault that
you're meant to be the professional singer and I can
belt. You don't.
Belt, you shout. Oh, it's not the same.
Tell me that when I was singing in the Kitchen by Renee Brown
singing you said I no sing it. Go on, go.
And you said I absolutely. Sing it and I'll manage to
Renee. Sing it No. 1st dates Oh and how
right you guys have asked us a lot of times how do you like
approach women, have successful first dates, find women, et
cetera, et cetera. As we mentioned earlier, I don't
know why you'd be asking last night Freya, I feel like you've
got better wrist than me and I will give that to.
You. Thank you, baby.
Freya. Has.
Freya's got. The I'm just like, I think The
thing is, is that I've just, I'm just you're a flirty person, but
I'm even more of a flirty person.
I think I'm just very tactile, whereas you're not tactile as a
like I'm very touchy feely, just naturally.
So I kind of feel confident when I meet women.
I think that's what it comes down to is confidence in
yourself because like you really have nothing to lose.
You can go on a date. What are you actually going to
lose if it goes wrong? How do you?
OK, no, but that's not. How do you approach the date?
How do you get there and approach?
Someone in a bar. That's what.
People want to. Know it is confidence.
So my advice on this would be the reason why I think we, well,
the reason why I think we attract a lot of people is
because we own who we are. Yeah, straight up.
So we leave no room for apology, and we wear ourselves of
confidence and we wear our queerness with confidence.
But it goes the same thing as what I just said.
If you've got confidence and you go over and you like compliment
someone so like you can not the fuck.
Boy lesbian. Not no, no, no, no.
But you're just confident in yourself as a person, right?
You can turn around and then you can say, sorry, I just wanted to
say you're you're so stunning. Or like you can say something
like this. Think about find something about
them or be like, I love like your eyes or whatever it is.
It can be anything. And like I do this even now,
like to like get friends. I'm like, I like you go over to
them and you compliment them, but say I just want to know
like, Oh, I love that jacket or like whatever it could be.
Your rizz is why your rizz is genius in my opinion, Freya,
it's because it comes from both angles, from both a.
Friendly. Or we could be.
You know, yes, she's trapping. You, you're trapped.
But can I say? I think something that we should
point out is that I think you guys go up to the people more
than people come up to you. So it's like just so it's like
in case anyone says, oh, but you know, you're both.
No, yeah, we got to them, I would say.
That you guys go up to more people than people come up.
To you, although we don't go up. OK, listen.
Yeah, we don't. We don't go up unintentional
eventually. So there could be like, a lot of
looking across the room and you kind of catch eyes a few times
and then you go over and you're like, yeah, hey.
And then you just, like, have a chat.
And again, is you. I started off very, like,
friendly. And then you gauge if that
person is a bit flirty because you can do a few things like
touch their arm when you're talking to them or something.
The way that somebody reacts with their body shows you
whether they want it to be flirty or not.
I feel like you need to let, if you don't already know how to
read people, you really need to learn.
Yeah. Reading body language.
Yeah, I would never say it out of turn.
So like if I genuinely didn't think that they were beautiful,
I would never got someone just to try and raise them up.
You're beautiful. No, I just wouldn't do it.
But. It's very honest.
We walked into a bar and there was like a fucking beautiful
person in there. And we much straight up and
we're like, you're beautiful. And like could tell that that
was very well received. Whereas sometimes people are
like, oh, thanks. I'm like, OK, there's like,
there's no like, there's no like conversation to be had here.
I mean, we're saying this like me and you were out pulling.
We're not. No, no.
I think, though, you're for friends, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, like we're
constantly like networking in a way, I suppose, like building
like a not that's the wrong way of putting.
It like me and you are always very open to new.
Friends. We're always very open to new
friends like we love. Yeah, we love.
Meeting people and I think. It's why you know people, you
just. Gain so many different
experiences with different people and I love introducing my
older friends with my newer friends and getting everyone
together and just like having a laugh.
Because about community, which is the whole reason you started
this podcast. Yeah, exactly.
Although we are, we did make our fucking huge faux pas with two
of our friends a few months ago. And we're actually going to get
them on the podcast because they're like, their story's
very, very interesting. And I know that they will not be
the only ones where we assumed something big about them that
wasn't true. Yeah.
Oh. And then after sitting down and,
like, being quite outward about this assumption for at least
half an hour, found out that we were entirely wrong.
And when I told you, I wanted the ground to swallow me up.
So yeah, I think, like, just just approaching it with
confidence. And I think these days as well,
like, you don't know who's gay. You don't know who's not.
I mean, sometimes there's subtle signs, sometimes there isn't.
You know, there's lots of straight passing, straight
passing girls out there. Girls that you don't have.
The fucking caravan is on and the Doctor Martins and the baggy
jeans and the my desk. Can we actually do a nipple
piercing, invent a sign? Should we invent a sign as part
of the podcast that is like the lesbian sign?
You do this fucking sign. It's a Caribbean.
A bit like a hand sign or
because a lot of some. Everyone just buys lesbian
supper club tote bags when they come out.
Just carry them around with you every.
If that ain't a fucking sign, I don't know.
What, or a lesbian supper club signet ring?
Or a lesbian supper club lighter so the Lezos, the lesbians can
go out in the smoking area. I was always looking for a
lighter. Here's my lighter.
Oh, cool. Lighter.
Oh, thanks. Do you listen to this gay
podcast, The Lesbian Soccer Club?
Oh, yeah, I do. Or.
Oh, my God, no. I can't believe I heard about
it. I love gay podcasts.
There you go. There you go, sorted.
It's like a Zippo but lesbian soccer.
Club. Yeah, it's red.
Yeah, red one with LS like an embossed.
LSD and then you can walk around with that.
Yeah. And even if you don't smoke,
have it. Smashed.
Yeah, smashed it, yeah, so. But also, sorry, just really
quickly just going back on that, loads of like loads of women
always worry that like they are just going to come across as
friendly and it's just going to be like a friendly vibe.
What I would say back to that is if there is no obvious chemistry
right, then why would you want it anyway?
Also if you're wondering just fucking ask, what can they say
is they can either say just say no fine, or they can say no in a
bit be a bit homophobic. Then you will then fuck.
Off, but like you don't really have anything to lose.
I know it. I know it can be quite
uncomfortable. But this is where, again, I
think me and you, like we've reached a point where we're so
comfortable in who we are, there is nothing anyone can say that
would offend. Me, that in me.
But when they say that they're straight, I'm like, oh, OK.
Oh. That's embarrassing.
But yeah, no, I'm joking. I just, you just, yeah.
Project, I think like just being confident.
Pardon. We do.
Yeah. Everyone wants to woo woo.
Exactly. Yeah, and then first dates.
This is a hard one because everyone's different.
Some people want to do an activity, some people want to go
and just have a drink and get a bit pissed.
Some people want to do the formal dinner.
Do you know what? I'm always a drink.
Girl, I'm always a drink girl. I was sold the other day though
by this guy telling me how he prefers a coffee date.
So for me I was like fuck no. Will I be seen sat down with a
coffee with a girl when I want to be able to relax, have a
drink, have a bit of a laugh, right?
And he said, I totally get that. However, you are letting them
see you're like, you are being able to not only identify what
they're like, but they're able to identify exactly what you're
like, right? And if that coffee date goes
well, it can turn into a drink or it can end.
But for me, I would rather, personally, I would rather go
out for a drink. I'd have a backup plan on me.
So like a friend of mine has to call with a fucking crisis at
any point. I mean, I don't feel like those
are believable anymore, but yeah, so many people do it.
Now, and well, they. Do always say in a frank order
of a crisis, I bet. Well, OK, this.
Is OK, but what I would also say is when, when are you lot going
to learn right from the other end of the spectrum.
So not the person who has to have the crisis call right, but
the other person. When are you going to learn that
that somebody isn't into your other day isn't going well?
Yeah, because I don't think this happens with.
That's usually men who just don't see it, like our friends a
lot. Of no, I think it happens with a
lot of lesbians as. Well, really.
Yeah. OK.
Interesting. I So let me tell you why I still
wouldn't go for a coffee date, because I get the point where I
was like, yeah, it could turn into a drink.
No, I want to go home. I want to scram some food.
I want to refresh my makeup. I probably want to change your
clothes. True, I want to.
Go out and feel as I. I hate that.
I hate I. Don't I always feel my best
drinking for that reason? No, I always feel my best though
once I've had longer to get ready like agreed and like be in
my night time. I wouldn't feel relaxed because
like for me, going from one to the other, that no that.
Would I also feel like the Viber sexier on a drink deck?
Agreed I. I think it's.
I mean, I think it's as simple as just like going for a drink
for an hour at the end of your day with somebody that doesn't
work out, not a big deal. Spending an hour in the middle
of your day takes up a little, a big, a much more a big chunk of
your day because you've got to think about it.
After get. Ready before Yeah, and it just.
Yeah, yeah, especially Yeah, no, I agree.
Actually, yeah, this is. No, I'm no, I say go, no, go
for, go for a drink or dinner. I don't care.
I wouldn't want to. Add the book Reading lesbians.
Oh God. Well, count me out.
Yeah, don't fucking invite me to your library club.
I don't want to come first dates.
I think just get to know the person a bit before and again,
just ask the question. Don't pussyfoot around.
Yeah. Do you want to go for a drink?
Do you want to do dinner? Do you want to do an activity
especially? And it's not say what you don't
like. If that person says I want to go
roller skating and you're like me and you're fucking at risk of
slipping a disc, say no, I'm at risk of slipping a disc.
I'm not going roller skating with you.
Can we just go and get piss please?
So, yeah, so lesbians, if you have anything like more
specifically talking about dating, we'd love to hear it as
well because there might be something that we're missing.
We haven't. Dated.
We haven't. Dated in ages but we do like
friend dating which is just as scary sometimes.
So you can actually practise going out and picking up friend
dates if you feel like you. If you feel like you don't have
much experience in this realm, maybe try something a little bit
easier, like going up to someone and becoming their friend, You
know, if you're really shy. Don't do it just practising for
romance, do it for platonic relationships as well.
Exactly right. Moving on now to the Horror
Story. So this person wrote in and said
hi, love the podcast. Thank you by the way.
So Horror Story for the pod. And by the way, sorry if my
English is terrible, I am Swedish and dyslexic.
That's fine. We love a dyslexic queen, I
fancy. Love the Swedish as well.
We love the Swedes. I found this cute woman at a gay
club and we hit it off, started making out and everything was
great. So we went to her place and had
a very very nice and steamy night.
We fell asleep for a couple of hours just to wake up and
continue. Classic that is classic.
There's classic lesbians. On the first date, in the middle
of sex, me between her legs, her screaming, her fucking husband
came in. I did not know she was married
and the guy was fuming so angry, flipping furnitures and
threatening me. One of the scariest moments of
my life. Great sex though, so worth it I
guess. Oh my God.
Next message I would like to be kept anonymous.
That is fine. That is for Oh my God.
I actually haven't read it so like I just had it as a
screenshot. What the fuck?
Yeah, iconic. Iconic.
How do you deal with that? We don't advocate cheating.
I. Do.
But so I have a problem. So.
So we were talking about this the other day.
You cannot continuously treat someone like a piece of shit and
expect them to not find care, love, and affection somewhere
else somewhere else. So I don't condone cheating if.
You're However, if this was rookie, Yeah, this was very
rookie, baby, you should have been more careful.
No, no, not the. No, the wife.
The wife, yeah. Why?
Why were they in their house? Are you joking?
She. Probably wanted him to find out.
Maybe. Maybe she couldn't tell him and
she just wanted him to find out. Maybe she knew she was gay,
didn't want to tell him. So she was like, actually, I'd
rather you just fucking caught me.
That's also so iconic. Why is that hot?
The what the problem that I have with this is him going mad
straight away and flipping tables in front of this poor
woman, right? Because she didn't know she.
Didn't know, it's not her fault. Also, even if she did know and I
hold this and people may disagree, if you're single you
can do what the fuck you. Want.
Yeah, You don't know it to anyone.
It's not, it's like it's the person who's in the
relationship, it's up to them to make the decisions on their
relationships. It's up to them to make
decisions as an adult. It's not your, it's not your
problem to carry. So I hate it when these things
happen. People cheat.
It happens all the fucking time. Like it's one of those things
that happens all the time. And our friends actually gave a
really good, there's an actual psychological study on this and
I've mentioned it previously and I need, we really need to talk
about which is the 2 year, the serotonin depth thing.
Serotonin, which is like there's been there's been a whole study
done on it, but you where if you've been cheated on and I
like I've done it in the past, I've gone marred and it like
that person, you can decide that is not a good person and you
don't want them in your life. You obviously don't ever
probably want to be around someone who your fucking
partner's cheated on you with, but to blame them?
I personally think it's wrong because that person, unless they
were your friend or related to you in some way, or someone
completely detached nothing to do with them, it's got nothing
to do. With them, it's not their
responsibility. No, you can dislike them and you
can actively not want them in your life.
You can't blame them. You can think, but it's it's not
their problem. But I do genuinely think that
that the other partner that's been cheated on though, will
automatically just find anger everywhere and they will start
to blame that other person because they feel so heartbroken
by their loved one that they could do that to them, that
they'll be like, well, fuck, it's the other person then.
Yeah. But yeah.
But going back to the actual story itself, Jesus fucking
Christ, I would have shipped. I mean, I love the fact, though,
that she went back and was like, but it was hot though, so it's
worth it. Worth it if it was worth it.
Love that. Thank you.
Fuck, the sex was good. Yeah.
Can you imagine if the sex was she?
Imagine she was doing a bit of charity work and then he caught
them fucking. You'd be more embarrassed than
anything, wouldn't you? You'd be like, actually, do you
know what, Ava, Ava, I don't even.
Want it Different accents? While she's.
While she's doing all the different accents, yeah, that, I
mean, it's iconic. It is iconic.
It's a great story. See, now I'm a massive advocate
for the good story. I've also don't feel better to
sleep with a married woman. It's a bit of a kink.
It is a bit of a kink, yeah. I mean, I don't have any advice
on that one. There isn't any advice, no.
It's just. Like it's just a great story.
I think that man's a cunt. Yeah, I mean, I think he reacted
way too high. Furniture I'll have.
Pathetic. You know what he was probably
more upset about? He's putting the poor.
Girl on that was a woman. No, but I yeah, he was
dangerous, but also he's probably upset that she was
making her scream and he's probably never done that.
You're upset, Go toss a little table.
You just go into the story quickly, which I know doesn't
relate to the Horror Story, but this, this serotonin.
Sorry. Yeah.
So basically our friends, our friend Elle's found this out and
posted it and I found it really interesting.
So there's basically been a study done because cheating is
very common. It is so common.
Oh yeah, it's super common. I don't.
Know how common it is but I would probably take whatever
percentage there is and add 10 to 20% on top because people
will be lying about it. It's very common and apparently
a study has been done recently. I can't reference it because she
just posted it and I don't remember the reference, but it
was basically about they're trying to work out like why this
is and it's come back to like literal biology.
So apparently what happens is, as we all know, when you meet
someone, you're in honeymoon moon phase.
You don't know any wrongs about this person because everyone's
got them. You see all the positives.
You're having mad crazy sex all the time.
It's fucking great. Then the routine starts to kick
in, but you're still super happy.
You think you found your person. Like everything's good.
Apparently as you hit the two year mark, your serotonin starts
to drop. So you're when you meet someone
you that serotonin really high. That's why you feel fucking
amazing. That's why probably you think
the sex is incredible blah blah blah blah blah.
You reach the two year mark and it literally drops.
And that statistically is when people cheat is around 2 years
because the the serotonin's dropped.
You start to probably maybe find out that that person isn't
everything you thought they were.
The flaws really start to show and you go and look for that
increase elsewhere. So it's not even to do with it's
not necessarily to do the other person, it's not to do with you
not loving them. It's literal biology that you're
kind of animalistic side goes. I want that hit back.
It's like a drug. Yeah.
And I'm going to go and try and find it, which I just found so
interesting because. But people see those are too
small to let someone if they feel like they wanted that
serotonin boost or get it with the partner or whatever it might
be or to have that conversation. This comes back to so many
previous episodes, doesn't it? It's like the sad thing is as
well, the society that we live in, being able to be honest
about that. Is forbidden.
Then they go behind the bang. You cheat.
Yeah. Whereas actually, if we lived in
a more progressive, open society, you'd be able to say,
look, I feel like we've hit the two year mark.
We've hit a bump in the road. The relationship doesn't feel as
fun anymore. What can we do?
I think we've got some communication issues, but you're
my person. How do we work through this?
People don't know how to have those conversations because we
haven't been taught and we've been told it's bad.
Yeah. So they cheat.
Yeah. And that's almost acceptable as
well. I mean, if we think about like
celebrity culture and stuff, like people cheat all the time,
it becomes like a kind of frantic news story and then
everyone just gets over it, which fine, I like.
I think there's different layers to cheating.
Some I think are fucking disgraceful, Some I think.
So for me, like I used to work in sales with a bunch of men,
right? And like a lot of them were
married, 98% of them were cheating.
Yeah, the wives never knew. So yeah, the majority of them,
all of them was taught. And if they didn't outwardly
tell me, another one would say, Oh yeah, so and so has got
prostitutes this weekend. So he they'd come in and buy
like a gift for the wife and gift for the the girl.
Sorry, I used to work in sales with men.
These men would talk about thought you were no, no, no, no,
no, no, no. In an office, they would talk
about their. Shit, yeah, and I remember you
saying as well when you're working in cosmetics.
Crazy. Would come in and buy 2 lots of.
Gift for me. I would sit there and be like
what the fuck is going on when? People brag about it.
That's awful. I think the bragging is the
worst part. Yeah, you're bragging about it.
That's weird. The boys are liar.
Yeah, no, I just, I was not keen
on that work environment after I got out there very fucking
quickly. But it was just gross.
Even the recruitment, yes, even even the ones that treatment
men. But listen, even the ones that
you didn't think were cheating, who you thought were really
fucking sweet and really lovely and loved their wives, they were
also cheating. Wow.
Yeah, it's crazy mental. Yeah, can't just.
Stop doing that shit. Just talk to you, but just.
Talk. Yeah, just talk.
Or if you really don't want to fucking be with them anymore,
just hang up them, Yeah, don't put them through it.
God, guys, I'm more now. We've got to go.
We've we've had a big one. This has been a big one.
Like I've said it before as well, we're going to be doing
advice episodes going forward on our Patreon.
So bring in those questions, even if it's like based on what
we've just said or anything else, send it in.
Send in more horror stories. We love you, goodbye.
Bye. Bye.