1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:04,480 Nothing beats a Jet 2 holiday. It's the smile that you do 2 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:06,800 whilst you do it as well that's amazing. 3 00:00:22,350 --> 00:00:25,630 Oh I love silly, but I also I want to dig into some of your 4 00:00:25,630 --> 00:00:27,750 some of your shit please please. You're. 5 00:00:29,350 --> 00:00:32,790 Little vibrato, I really feel like you did start the hate for 6 00:00:32,790 --> 00:00:36,150 Benson because no one hated him until I saw your video. 7 00:00:36,150 --> 00:00:38,110 Correct. I want to fucking deck. 8 00:00:38,110 --> 00:00:40,390 Him it's really bad. I feel very sorry for the 9 00:00:40,390 --> 00:00:42,590 flipper. I I do, I feel a bit bad. 10 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:44,760 Benson Boone. So basically like. 11 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:46,520 Isn't he gay? I gay. 12 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,440 I don't know, I don't know, but he. 13 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:50,080 Was just like an entitled straight man, but I think he's 14 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:52,760 gay. Maybe, but he literally like so 15 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,080 he came out with that song The Beautiful. 16 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:57,160 Thing I think it's a really fucking annoying. 17 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:58,600 Song, though, I'm going to say it was really good. 18 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,080 No, I really, I really don't like it. 19 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:04,239 So I felt like, you know, when you feel unified by someone's 20 00:01:04,239 --> 00:01:08,280 hatred for something, I feel more unified for things that I 21 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,320 hate than things that I love. Perfect. 22 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:13,720 I love hating the same shit with someone on way more than I do 23 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:16,600 loving the same shit. Me and like I feel quite bad 24 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,480 because I don't think don't. You really, you actually don't. 25 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:20,440 You know what it is? Someone. 26 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,880 Commented and they were like no one hates Benson Boone more than 27 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,880 you Moldogger, and I was like listen, oh, I listen. 28 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:27,680 And I was like, I don't hate him. 29 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:31,200 I think he seems like a funny cunt, but like he shall like 30 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,160 moon. But like I will say moon bean 31 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,280 ice cream, but it's in my head. I can't. 32 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,400 I see it and I saw your hatred video. 33 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:43,680 I well, I just said it sounded. This is where I said it sounded 34 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:47,160 like let's get physical. So I said it sounds like let's 35 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:51,160 get physical, physical. Like it sounds like that. 36 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:52,880 But then, yeah, everyone was like. 37 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,200 You're gonna bust these fucking YEAH speakers right out. 38 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:59,360 That is true. But the problem is, the problem 39 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,840 is I'm coming at it being like, hee, hee, hee. 40 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:03,880 But then you get the crazy people who are like, I hope 41 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,400 Benson Boone dies and it's like, all right, let's take it. 42 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:07,880 Wait. So let's calm down, babes. 43 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:08,479 Let's calm. Down. 44 00:02:08,479 --> 00:02:10,400 Yeah. I mean, look, I feel like 45 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:11,440 everyone takes it too far, though. 46 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:14,360 Like, I feel like we take it far, but in a funny way. 47 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:16,040 Yeah. Like, I love it when a bit goes 48 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,640 too far. Yes, but you just keep it going. 49 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:19,920 Yeah. I'm the type of person who would 50 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:22,280 carry on a bit for, like, a Goodyear me just to, like, fool 51 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:24,560 someone. I just feel so much joy in my 52 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,200 heart if I knew that I was fooling someone. 53 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,920 It's like the equivalent feeling to when you're like hiding in a 54 00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:30,960 closet knowing that your sister about to walk in the room to 55 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:31,960 jump out them. Yes. 56 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:35,360 What's that feeling? Yeah, exactly. 57 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,400 Just like pure, like Dicky, like really, yeah. 58 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:39,440 Like, wind myself up in like a really happy way. 59 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,640 But we're always, I feel like people, like people lying us. 60 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,760 We're doing it in a funny way. But then you have people who, 61 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,560 like, take it too far. Yeah. 62 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:47,800 Like, I don't like that. Like. 63 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,200 We don't like the hatred. No, that's not funny. 64 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:53,280 No, but it's. But moon like someone, someone 65 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,320 once said like what the fuck is a moonbeam? 66 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:58,600 And like, yeah, like be. Fair, I think he fucking hates. 67 00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:00,880 It I don't think he like no, I don't think no. 68 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:05,240 And apparently he he was saying that he wrote the album in 17 69 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,680 days. And I was like, I don't think 70 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:08,920 that's something to. Yeah, and I think it's kind of 71 00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:10,400 obvious. I think it's kind of obvious. 72 00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:12,480 Firstly though, I need to introduce you. 73 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,520 What do you mean? That was my introduction. 74 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:16,400 We talked about Benson Boone. Hey, OK. 75 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,080 And it's actually, hey guys, it's me, Benson Boone. 76 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:20,880 And that was it. And that was. 77 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:23,360 The And that was it. And then the episode Moonbeam 78 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,360 Ice Cream. It's really fucking annoying. 79 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,720 I won't lie. It was on my June playlist. 80 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:30,920 It was on my Pride playlist. Really. 81 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,160 Yeah. You have a pride. 82 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:32,840 Playlist. I mean, I'm. 83 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:34,760 Gonna put that on tonight. It was just every month. 84 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:38,280 I do like a playlist. So I'll be like June 2025, July 85 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:40,560 2025, who do that? And it's not organized. 86 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,880 No. Well, it's a really good way to 87 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,760 like keep track of the months. But like, I put that on because 88 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,760 Moonbeam ice cream reminded me of June. 89 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:49,640 Yeah, and June Beam ice. Cream. 90 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:50,920 That's good. That's. 91 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,920 Sorry, yeah, but introduce me. I will. 92 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,000 Hello lesbians. I'm sat with another lesbian. 93 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,600 Yeah, Molly, but she also goes by Moldoga. 94 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,200 Yeah. On Instagram and tick tock. 95 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,280 Yeah. I have followed you for years. 96 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,840 So the very fact that I've got you right here and very excited, 97 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,360 it's very funny. It's been years. 98 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:06,720 It has you. Yeah. 99 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,720 And I don't even know what the first thing was that I saw, but 100 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:13,000 your tick tocks are hysterical. Like, hysterical. 101 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:17,079 And I love just like I love the fact that you do do the bits you 102 00:04:17,079 --> 00:04:20,440 have like such a repertoire on TikTok that I don't really know 103 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:21,959 where one thing ends and the other one begins. 104 00:04:21,959 --> 00:04:24,840 That's exactly my now looking inside of your brain a little 105 00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:26,640 bit. Like it's very similar to me. 106 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:29,240 Like I fucking love that. And you know, we call that 107 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:30,880 diverse. Yeah, diverse. 108 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,480 Yeah, diverse. Talented. 109 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,680 Yeah. So you're like, so I'm going to 110 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:37,440 tell you from what I've seen from you on the years online 111 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:41,240 we've got. I don't explain the fucking law. 112 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,520 I'm going to explain the law of what I've seen. 113 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,720 Right. There are videos of you that are 114 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,720 kind of like, acting out, like certain scenarios. 115 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:51,360 Yes. I mean, like the friend who 116 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:52,400 dead. Yeah. 117 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,480 So like the friend who can't be vulnerable, like that kind of 118 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:54,920 thing. Yeah. 119 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:55,480 Right. Yep. 120 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,200 You've also got the songs that you've written. 121 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:02,480 Yeah, that you. Boyfriend I didn't like. 122 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:03,880 I've got some really good songs, guys. 123 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:04,920 Go listen to them, they're really good. 124 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,080 Yeah, yeah. I mean, they're actually a 125 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:07,360 fucking bop though. They are. 126 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,760 They actually are good. And bop it is also. 127 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,920 Bop it, right? So I've got a song called Bop 128 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,760 it. It is about a bop it and one of 129 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:16,720 the first lines is bop it, twist it, pull my tits. 130 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:17,800 Yeah. And I really like that. 131 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:19,960 I resonated with that. Yeah, it was very, it was quite 132 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:21,480 emotional to write that one, but yeah. 133 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:22,840 That is something that I would say to a girl. 134 00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:24,520 That's not a joke. I would literally say bop it. 135 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,760 Twist it, pull my tits, pull my tits, smack my ass. 136 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:30,120 Don't be a bitch like that is poetry like fucking never. 137 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:31,840 Shakespeare could. Shakespeare is fucking. 138 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:32,480 Wrong. He's. 139 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,440 Great, Right now he's. Like literally twerking to us at 140 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,200 Stoke Upon. Where's he fucking live? 141 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:41,400 Stoke Upon fuck knows no, and I don't know he lives. 142 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,960 Where's that? Stoke on Trent, Yeah, Where he 143 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,160 is, She'll go find him. She'll go find him a song and 144 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:46,760 see what. Happens, guys. 145 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:48,120 We'll be right back. We're just gonna go find 146 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:51,800 Shakespeare in. 200 years time people in school are gonna be 147 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:52,600 reading this? Yeah. 148 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:53,880 What do you think? Yeah. 149 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,280 What do you think she meant when she wrote Bobbitt Twisted? 150 00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:58,200 Pull my pets. But yeah, back to me. 151 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:01,400 What else did I do? So you also do some of the most 152 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:05,840 like unhinged, like the way that in which your brain works really 153 00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:08,000 intrigues me of how you come up with these ideas. 154 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,280 Like. You there was the song and which 155 00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:11,920 one was it? I see trees of green, was it 156 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:17,080 that one? So one of my main law indicators 157 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:22,080 is indicators, but basically I had a series on TikTok where I 158 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:25,040 took the song of Louis Armstrong's What a Wonderful 159 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:28,680 World. And then I sang the first 160 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:32,480 minute, but I just sang the letter S, So I was like, so for 161 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:35,600 example, I see trees of greens. So if I go, I see. 162 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:38,280 So yeah. So can you do the S every time? 163 00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:42,000 Yes, I see cheese of green. So that was red. 164 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:44,240 That's insane. So basically, did you even think 165 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:46,360 I'm doing this? Bye, Bye. 166 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:47,880 It's my brain. And then I, yeah. 167 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:51,280 So I just like, did that letter. And then someone famously 168 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:54,160 commented they wrote you should do the whole alphabet. 169 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:55,560 Yeah. And I was like, OK. 170 00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:58,960 And then I did amazing. And basically the whole thing 171 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:03,360 was I added a letter each time and it got more fucked. 172 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:04,880 Yeah. And more insane. 173 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:05,560 Yeah. And. 174 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:09,760 And just more cooks. Absolutely insane, but like also 175 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,600 really fucking clever. Like thank you that's actually 176 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,760 really hard. It was well that is like you 177 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,680 need difficult to do. Well, people, no thank you. 178 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,840 And people thought I did it all in one day, but I didn't. 179 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,440 Every time I did it, I had to like Reap because as I went on, 180 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:23,760 I like. You did this like face. 181 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,520 Yeah, I dressed like a kind of clown was fucked. 182 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,480 But you like Beetlejuice? Yeah, I was giving Beetlejuice, 183 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:32,080 but yeah, I like, I would as it got more cooked. 184 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:36,000 I like, looked more like looked crazy. 185 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,120 I love that. And it was. 186 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:39,800 But then, yeah. So then it ended and I did every 187 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:40,960 single letter. Yeah. 188 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:44,480 And then I did, I ended up doing a lot of like duets of like back 189 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,560 story to the whole thing. And I made like a whole plot. 190 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,200 And then I now I pretend like it never happened. 191 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,080 Not fair enough. So if any, like if anyone's 192 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:52,400 listening to this, it didn't happen. 193 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:54,880 But I've sometimes people will comment, they'll be like, aren't 194 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:56,800 you like the wonder wonderful world girl? 195 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,960 And I always write like, I'm sorry, I don't know what that 196 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,000 means. Don't know what that means. 197 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,400 And then what is a wonderful world? 198 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:02,880 Yeah, like what is? And then all the comments 199 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,760 underneath are like, yeah, you must be thinking of someone 200 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:05,240 else. And that's. 201 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,400 Really good. I love how your fans are like, 202 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,080 very like to the bit too. They're the same. 203 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:11,400 They're really funny. Yeah. 204 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,920 And like, the same goes for the songs when you're like, oh, this 205 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,640 is how singers online like introduce their songs, etcetera. 206 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,360 And then it's also, by the way, so fucking spot on. 207 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,880 And that's why it's so funny. You're like, hey guys, this is a 208 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,520 song for when you're feeling depressed. 209 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:27,440 I'm sad and it's like the worst. I love it when you're like, when 210 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,320 you're LA. What was it it was like when 211 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:33,640 you're LA boyfriend? Becomes your LAX. 212 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:36,440 I love that the airport and it's just so good. 213 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:38,600 Awful but really good love. It yes. 214 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:41,400 And so then like you've leaned into all of that, but again, 215 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,840 like you just kept it going. Like you kept doing music videos 216 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:46,200 to the same song. People are like, is this a joke? 217 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,000 And you're like, obviously, no, it's not a fucking joke. 218 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:50,200 It's really a great song. Yeah, this is fantastic. 219 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,960 Best thing I've ever done. I, I, I want more and then I'm 220 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:56,080 trying to think of other things that you do as well, like you do 221 00:08:56,080 --> 00:09:01,560 like the siblings thing you did the I love the gender reveal 222 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,760 video. Yeah, all that I'm your Mima and 223 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:05,880 I've. Yeah, we did a video at the 224 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,040 start of this year where we like pretended to be like a 225 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,520 Republican family in America from the South. 226 00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:13,080 And we all did like doing their like gender reveals where 227 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,920 they're like, I'm your Mama bear and I think you're going to be 228 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,800 beautiful big boy. And then like all. 229 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,480 The it's like and I hope you're. Born. 230 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:21,520 I hope you're born. If you're not, there's going to 231 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,160 be trouble. And this is like that. 232 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,520 And he's on you to be straight. Yeah, yeah. 233 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,280 I just fucking love it because what you what you do is that you 234 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:32,280 encapsulate everyone and like everything very, very well. 235 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,520 Like that's what I always get drawn into. 236 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:36,800 And then you also had that one last thing that I wanted to 237 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:40,600 mention, which was in and I saw it on a reel and people on reels 238 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:43,920 don't have like people just don't have a fucking sense of 239 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:47,120 humor, like a lot of stuff. But it was this one video where 240 00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:50,360 your friend is like, not like, don't rush me, Katie. 241 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:51,520 And like, don't. Rush me. 242 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,280 Katie, you go, you go to kiss him in the car and then he 243 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:58,280 fucking slams your so funny, hilarious, I think. 244 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:01,160 I think people think that you 2 are together and they were like, 245 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:03,440 yeah, I used to think this was funny too when I was with my 246 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:05,320 boyfriend. Now he's in jail like. 247 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:09,640 And look, I can understand the concern, but you guys need to 248 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:13,080 know we're both so gay. And it was staged. 249 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,680 And also I asked, so it was with my friend Harrison. 250 00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:18,080 I asked him four times. I was like, you need to fucking 251 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:19,200 shove me against the wall. Yeah. 252 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:22,520 He was like, no, I was like, fucking shove me because we were 253 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:25,280 recreating a scene from Monsters versus Aliens. 254 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:26,480 It's really funny. Thank you. 255 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,160 And I was like you to do the bit. 256 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:31,240 You need to shove me. And like I I'm any, I believe in 257 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:34,280 being hurt for the bit. I think that there's essentially 258 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:37,120 there's no, there's no such thing as going too far for a bit 259 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:39,600 exactly and you have to be committed to it exactly. 260 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,280 That's absolutely fine. But yeah, all the comments are 261 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:42,560 like, what the fuck? Yeah. 262 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,160 And they're like, babe, run. Yeah, babe, run. 263 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,880 You should just the one you should just start doing like 264 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,520 story times to me when I thought it was funny when he was doing 265 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:52,320 but actually it was fucked. What? 266 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:53,720 Fuck. Yeah, how's me? 267 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,760 Like, what do you? He's literally so gay. 268 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:57,320 He'll be like I didn't approve of. 269 00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:00,880 This, yeah. And then also like, because you, 270 00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:03,720 I don't know if you've like, openly talked about being a 271 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:08,480 lesbian too much like on TikTok. Yeah, I've like, I've done well 272 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:09,800 at the start of last. No. 273 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,080 Oh God. Because I don't even know how I 274 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,160 know. I've done some videos on it like 275 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:19,360 I've I've done, I did the song. So in 2023 I did a song called 276 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,560 Do you have the Ick or are you just a lesbian? 277 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:23,640 Yeah. And it was like a one minute 278 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:27,840 song that I put on TikTok and it people like I loved it. 279 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:29,200 It was fun. And I've basically the whole 280 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:32,800 thing was like people who say like, oh, like, I hate when he 281 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:36,480 like walks to the beach. Yeah, that's an egg. 282 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:40,240 It's like, that's not an ick if you like men like you're fucking 283 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:43,200 gay like and it was just like how people come up with the 284 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,000 dumbest fucking reasons for not liking. 285 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,200 I've heard some of the most outrageous reasons. 286 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:48,840 It's like, no, you just don't like. 287 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:50,880 Yeah, You are a lesbian. Yeah. 288 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,720 And I think like it was for me as well, because I think it's 289 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:55,800 very relatable. Like a lot of lesbians have like 290 00:11:55,800 --> 00:12:00,760 a full you'd meet the right person and right guy in inverted 291 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:02,560 commas. But then it'd be like, oh, but 292 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:05,480 he has. He did like this slide. 293 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:08,960 Yeah, he, he has a green shirt. And I, I just can't do green 294 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,840 shirts. And it's like, yeah. 295 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:14,200 And it's like, all right, Queen. Like what was your like? 296 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:15,520 What was your gay awakening like? 297 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:19,560 What was your story with that? Wow, so like I, I feel like 298 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:23,800 growing up like I have sort of like on TikTok as well. 299 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,120 I've done like a few videos on this where I'll talk about like 300 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,680 it was hard to know. I think I've missed this. 301 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,520 Yeah, it was quite so. I'm actually quite glad. 302 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:31,320 I really agree. Yeah. 303 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,480 But there was like, videos where I was like, talking about how 304 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:38,160 male validation can be, like, confusing in knowing that you're 305 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:39,360 like a lesbian. Do you know what I mean? 306 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:42,360 Because it's like the feeling of like, wanting men to like, you 307 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,920 can feel like you like them. And then when they don't always 308 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:49,040 reciprocate, it like, sparks that like, crazy thing in your 309 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:50,840 head where you're not crazy, but like, that thing in your head 310 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:53,200 where you're like, oh, I want them to like, want me. 311 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:56,240 Do you know what I mean? So do you think that you confuse 312 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,520 wanting them for wanting them to want you? 313 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:02,280 Like in I've been, I feel like I've kind of just to be 314 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:05,440 transparent, like at the moment I'm sort of really facing my 315 00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:08,800 sexuality head on in the last like year more than I ever have 316 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,000 before, which has been really good. 317 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,680 Do you feel like you? What do you feel like you 318 00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:14,640 denied? I, I think what it had, what 319 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:17,880 it's been is like growing up, I just be like transparent, like I 320 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,560 didn't get heaps of like male validation at school. 321 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:23,280 And I always had this pattern where it was like I'd have a 322 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:26,720 male friend who I was really close with, but they'd always 323 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,080 boys go for my other friend. Yeah. 324 00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:30,920 And that was me, too. Yeah. 325 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,960 And also they called any guy that was interested in me gay 326 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,520 because I look like a boy. So I mean, it kind of checks 327 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:38,440 out. Now you're like, and that's 328 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:39,920 working for me now. I was like, fuck you. 329 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,920 But like back in school. And it's like that thing where I 330 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:46,320 think this like knee jerk reaction sort of started to 331 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:49,040 develop where it was like, right, like if I see a guy, like 332 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,320 I have to get him to like me. Yeah, of course. 333 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:54,320 And like that that happened where like I'd have like really 334 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:58,600 close male friends and they'd then be interested in my like 335 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,800 close. Female and then because that 336 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,760 hurt you, yes, you would then like, well, I couldn't be gay 337 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,280 there. Yes, exactly. 338 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,640 Really funny that you put it like this because I've never 339 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:09,840 really heard someone talk about like this. 340 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,360 And I resonate with that a lot actually. 341 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,440 Like I really wanted them to just want to be with you, yes. 342 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:18,480 Yeah, but it was like the them wanting to be with you part was 343 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:22,440 so strong that it wasn't actually obvious that you didn't 344 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:25,240 like because. And I remember like there was a 345 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,200 guy in high school who was my really good friend. 346 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:31,560 And I've again, I've been like, I've had to like, really, really 347 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,560 think about this and like unpack it because I was like, oh, like, 348 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,960 I remember we had a time where we were walking up to like the 349 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,480 bus stop after school and I was like alone with him. 350 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,720 And I remember being like, I have a crush on you, but I'm 351 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:45,400 really uncomfortable, you know what I mean? 352 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:46,640 And I was like. Did you say that? 353 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:49,480 No, like I didn't say it to him, but I was like, like I didn't, 354 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:54,280 but I was like, I like this man, but I'm I don't like I feel. 355 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:57,000 Weird, but I don't feel comfortable with him. 356 00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,680 Yeah, and I didn't realise that at the time. 357 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:04,160 I'm a stuck like the anxiety and like the for like feelings of 358 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:07,320 like lust. Yeah, yeah, lust, lust is that. 359 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,040 Are you thinking of the Shrek 2 quote? 360 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,160 Please say yeah, you know, you know, And she's like. 361 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,000 Honestly, no Shrek two, I've missed the boat. 362 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,640 No. You know when you know when the 363 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:18,280 fairy godmother is like pouring the thing and she's like in just 364 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,520 a bit of lust? Yes, thank you. 365 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,040 Because he said it like that and I was like, surely you'll be. 366 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:26,280 That's just my fucking. Voice man Jennifer Snow. 367 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:30,280 But yeah, like, and I feel like what started to happen. 368 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:36,760 So yeah, like that happened so much up until like 20, like 20. 369 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:40,400 And then in the last couple of years, there's been times where 370 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:44,720 like I will, what started to change is I've had, I had an 371 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:49,840 experience where I was like at a party and I was like interested. 372 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:52,920 I was like flirting like again, like I, I'm not proud of this, 373 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:56,000 but I was like an out lesbian. But I still had that like knee 374 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,640 jerk thing of like impressed men, impressed men. 375 00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:01,240 And I again like compared. Yeah, we want to talk about. 376 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:04,040 Yeah, it's so fun and like, but here's the thing, every time I 377 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:06,080 would flirt, they like, wouldn't be interested, right? 378 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:10,000 So I was like, oh, well, I could be straight, but then this guy 379 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,680 was interested in me. So at the party he was like 380 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:15,400 actually reciprocating. And then I, I literally, I was 381 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:19,200 very drunk, but I like burst into tears because it was the 382 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,400 first time I was like, Oh my God, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 383 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,720 Was it more so that you were crying because you had that 384 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,840 realization of Actually, no, that's this is the case. 385 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,160 A. 100 because you know what it is. 386 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:36,640 I think sometimes for me, because the guys aren't like 1 387 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:39,800 always reciprocating, it was like that little voice in my 388 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,000 brain was like, well maybe I'm not a lesbian. 389 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,400 Like maybe I'm maybe I'm like because. 390 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,840 You weren't confronted with it. Yeah, exactly, because it's like 391 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,000 literally being straight is literally shoved down your 392 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,000 throat so much. Like everyone knows that. 393 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,000 And then like, but yeah, like you don't realise how like on 394 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,600 like a micro level, how much it. Feels safer to be bisexual 395 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,840 within that round, right, because you're like, well, I've 396 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:04,160 still got my toe in the pond, yes and of this normality, yes. 397 00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:06,119 And so I'm kind of half. OK, Yeah. 398 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:08,960 And like 100%, that's how I always viewed bisexuality for 399 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,240 me. Like when I was younger, I was 400 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,920 bisexual like, me too. That's how I identified as. 401 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:14,240 Yep. Knowing. 402 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:15,880 Really. That was, that was. 403 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:18,800 My but then I also just kind of thought, well, I could just say 404 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,680 that I'm bisexual, which kind of like keeps me in that round, but 405 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:24,200 then just never day man. And then I was like, no, this 406 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,200 just isn't me. That's just not me. 407 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,960 So then that realization happened, and that was in 2020. 408 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:33,120 Did you say or look it's? Is it very recent? 409 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,840 It's it's like literally I had like so yeah, at the at that 410 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:41,200 party, this guy like turned around and was like, Yep. 411 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:48,920 And I was like, because again, I was like, oh fuck. 412 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:54,040 Like again, like it was like, Oh my God, like it was only for me. 413 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:57,240 I've learnt like so much of this shit happens in your fucking 414 00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:59,400 head where you like can romanticize men. 415 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,920 You're like, I do like men. No, no, like I do like I do. 416 00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:04,000 But then it was only when he was there. 417 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:08,320 I was like, not an idea like a 3D fleshed out person that I was 418 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:11,000 like, Oh no. And I. 419 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,400 Like this joke has gone away too. 420 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,160 Far, but the bits over now like not and that, yeah. 421 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:16,400 I meant. Yeah, yeah. 422 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,880 I don't like men, but yeah. And it was like that. 423 00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:24,280 But then like I have noticed like I think that like like 424 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:28,120 muscle of when I was younger of like wanting men to like. 100 425 00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:31,320 percent 100. Percent it's still like this is 426 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,680 what I'm saying like I've been unpacking it literally since 427 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,880 like last year. I had another thing where there 428 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:41,480 was like a guy and I was like, oh, maybe I do I do and then 429 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,160 like the same thing happened where that where did that like 430 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,000 sorry, that party experience hadn't happened for a while. 431 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:48,880 So I was like enough time had passed. 432 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,760 I was like maybe and then same thing happened. 433 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:55,880 I was like, I my body just like. It's the body that like, just 434 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,600 will tell you, right? Because your brain will tell you 435 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,600 stories and your body won't. So your body will always be true 436 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,720 to you. And your brain is filled with 437 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,080 information. It's not your own. 438 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,280 Yep, Your brain is filled with information from other people, 439 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,760 from other sources, from films, like songs, whatever the fuck, 440 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:12,880 right? Yep, and compulsive 441 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:15,840 heterosexuality is. My biggest fucking OP, Sorry. 442 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,680 It is, yeah. It's biggest fucking OP for me 443 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,280 too, yeah. Especially growing up, like you 444 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,680 are more one and two as well, like you're very straight 445 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:27,000 passing. And so it is that whole thing of 446 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,520 just like, do I fit within this mold? 447 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:33,880 Is that me? And then also maybe I think as 448 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:38,520 well, when you have ADHD, you're so used to gaslighting yourself. 449 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,880 Fucking get on to this if you Oh my, you're. 450 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,800 So used to gaslighting yourself. You're so used to not trusting 451 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,080 yourself. Then you think, well, what if 452 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,960 I've just taken it too far with this whole lesbian? 453 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,840 Yeah, that's what if I. Well, the thing was as well. 454 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,040 Here's the really interesting thing about it. 455 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:57,080 Growing up with I've heard a few people have different 456 00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,120 experiences with this. I've literally gone on like, the 457 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,720 depths of every corner of the Internet to like, hear people 458 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,200 talk about like, hey, Reddit, but yeah, like. 459 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:08,760 For me, growing up, I never felt like a lot of, you know, some 460 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,600 women who are like identify as gay are like, oh, I'm scared of 461 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,480 other women and stuff like I don't have I've. 462 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,120 Never had that I've never had I've. 463 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:18,640 Never that yeah, that I've I when people say that I'm like, 464 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,600 what the fuck are you talking about? 465 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:24,800 It's so weird to me because I've found for me growing up like 466 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:29,080 again the close it was class like but like even in general 467 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:32,840 what made it always so confusing is because I always felt so 468 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:37,560 scared and anxious around the boys like but I felt really safe 469 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,920 around the girlies so then I didn't feel like. 470 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,080 Send you thought, oh, I might just nervous around them because 471 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:44,760 they fancy. Yeah, exactly. 472 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,480 Again, like growing up, I never felt like when I was around the 473 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,360 girls, there was this thing where I was like, yeah, I get 474 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:52,600 like nervous and stuff on dates and stuff, but I don't feel this 475 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,760 hankering need to impress them and like, no, because I just, I 476 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:58,640 just don't, I feel like a fully 3D functional. 477 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,160 You know, you are. You're just a fucking player, 478 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:00,760 babe. Yeah, I'm a. 479 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,000 Whore. Yeah, but like. 480 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:04,120 I'm a slut slut. I'm a fucking. 481 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:07,480 Slut but but I just like doing. That while you're only here for 482 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,480 like a couple of days, I'm like, I'm beat and delete, babe, beat 483 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,280 and delete. I have been to the Tower Bridge 484 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,360 with my cousin. I'm a whore. 485 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,880 No, but yeah, no, I've done the town hall. 486 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,240 Yeah, that's. Now you're coming to the 487 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,000 lesbian. This is true I'm. 488 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,640 Very never know. You never know. 489 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:27,880 And I bought my deck of cards. Yeah, who would like me to do a 490 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:31,640 magic trick? Honestly that would work on me 491 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:32,880 though, but I'm not even. That would work. 492 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,760 You know, I'm honestly, I'm actually just excited to play 493 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:40,120 games, but literal games I'm like, who wants to get play 494 00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:41,280 game? No, no, not not mind. 495 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,920 Games, board games play. Snap. 496 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:45,040 That's like all I. Fucking love. 497 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:46,000 Yeah, fucking love. Snap. 498 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,920 I'm not even here to flirt. I'm here to be silly. 499 00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:49,960 Yeah, silly. Yeah. 500 00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:53,680 This episode is sponsored by Better Help, so let's talk about 501 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,840 workplace stress. I don't know about you, but it 502 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,720 feels like everyone is 1 minus Slack notification away from 503 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:02,360 combusting. And it's not just US, 61% of the 504 00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:05,120 global workforce is dealing with higher than normal stress 505 00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:07,240 levels. And look, we can't all just quit 506 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:10,360 our jobs and move to a Greek island, although I'm kind of 507 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,320 want to. But we can start making small 508 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,640 changes. For me, that might be a solo 509 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,680 walk with a podcast or just actually taking lunch away from 510 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,600 my laptop. Tiny things that give your brain 511 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,400 space. But while holidays and sunshine 512 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:23,840 help, they're not a long term solution and therapy can be a 513 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,280 game changer when it comes to managing the everyday chaos. 514 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:27,880 And that is where Better Help comes in. 515 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:31,600 With over 5000 therapists in the UK, Better Help is the largest 516 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,520 online therapy platform in the world. 517 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:37,240 It is super flexible, you can switch therapists at any time 518 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:39,480 and it fits around your life, not the other way around. 519 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:42,640 So if you're curious to give therapy a go, our listeners get 520 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:46,920 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/LSC. 521 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:52,680 That is Better Help help.com/leslie, we love you. 522 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:53,680 Better to help. Thank you. 523 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,680 You were saying how basically you, you felt like maybe you 524 00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:58,880 were straight because you don't ever get nervous around men, 525 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:00,400 right? So you thought that you were 526 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,680 contextualizing other people's experiences with women as you 527 00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:05,960 with men? 100% and like this is the thing 528 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:10,720 I've realized I will get fucking hell, fuck my fucking life. 529 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:14,920 I've heard I've like again, I've stalked TikTok users who like 530 00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:17,240 mentioned this and I've only seen people talk about this a 531 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:18,360 little bit. So I'm going to bring it up. 532 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,000 Go on. Limerance. 533 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,960 Oh, limerance with men as a lesbian. 534 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,920 Oh, interesting. I know this again. 535 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,480 For so long I was like, this doesn't make sense. 536 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,480 You can't have limerance with men as a lesbian. 537 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,520 That means you like men. No, Because here's the thing. 538 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:38,440 Limerance isn't actually about liking. 539 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:38,920 Someone. No. 540 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:40,520 It's an obsession. That's the reason why it's 541 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:42,600 called limerance and not love or not liking. 542 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,520 So here's the thing, right with men, here's how it will manifest 543 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:47,640 with me. OK, I'll be obsessed with them. 544 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,480 I'll have really intrusive thoughts about them. 545 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,200 I'll care if they like like all my stories, my Instagrams, my 546 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,200 posts, like my videos, whatever. Like it'll all be. 547 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,400 About like it's like an OCD, yeah, but it is like a 548 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,000 compulsory. Yeah, and it's like, and it's 549 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:02,000 all about like kind of I'll have thoughts about them. 550 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,840 I'll like base my worth around them and everything. 551 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:08,680 I'll think about them a lot. But then but then it's like the 552 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,360 whole idea of limerance is it's like not a real person. 553 00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:14,280 It's the idea of them, right. And then what happens is the 554 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:19,240 more fleshed out 3D and like real in inverted commas they 555 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,560 become, the less I don't give a fuck, you know what I mean? 556 00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:25,920 But it's like, this is my little loophole sometimes. 557 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,600 This is where I go fucking crazy. 558 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:31,080 When I barely know them, That's when I go insane because my 559 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,160 brain, my fucking. Really need to know them. 560 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:35,240 Yeah, like you need to. Yeah, I'm like, right, let's 561 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:36,400 hang out and then I'll get the egg. 562 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:40,960 So I kind of have like this might be a hot take, No, but 563 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:44,120 like based on what you just said there, I think that you have. 564 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,520 So it definitely sounds to me that you've got like 565 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,640 subconscious entire homophobia, right? 566 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:52,000 So, so subconsciously your brain is trying. 567 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,360 So yeah. It's the Westboro Baptist Church 568 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,720 in here and I'm like, cool. Let's work on that. 569 00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,920 And so I'm kind of more interested as to maybe why like 570 00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:02,080 did you have like did you have a hard coming out? 571 00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:06,040 I, I had, I grew up in Australia. 572 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:10,440 So I feel like here's the thing, like I grew up in, I was born in 573 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:14,760 1998 and when I was in school from I was in high school from 574 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:19,880 2011 to 2016. And I towards the end of my high 575 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,680 school experience, things got better. 576 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,840 But again, like I remember like in year 7, everyone was like, 577 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,840 that's gay. Like everyone would use that as 578 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:29,960 like a slur, like people would use lesbian as an insult. 579 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:33,600 Like, and you just don't even realise how much that what. 580 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,440 And this is what? Builds a shame within you. 581 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,480 It does and it makes you. I think people don't realise 582 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:40,840 that, like, this is what I've been really like working on is 583 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:44,520 the internalized homophobia can make you try to be straight. 584 00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,640 And that's like, oh, babe, yeah, yeah. 585 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:50,120 And it's, and you feel, I feel like especially now that there's 586 00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:51,800 like. I was worse than you, OK? 587 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:53,440 Does it make you feel any better? 588 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:57,560 Like I would get to the 3D version of the man and feel that 589 00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:00,720 feeling that you felt, but still go ahead and punish myself for 590 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:02,600 it anyway, just for the fucking fun of it. 591 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,880 Like, and it was fucked. And that's the trauma that I 592 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:09,080 have to live with because they genuinely like, I traumatized 593 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:09,760 myself. Yeah. 594 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:11,960 It's not even on them. Like, I can't even for once 595 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:13,160 can't even blame the fucking man. 596 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,640 Like, I very much behaved like I wanted it. 597 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:17,800 Yeah. And I, you know, it was very 598 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:22,480 consensual, but like internally it fucking wasn't right dying 599 00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,640 inside. So like I slept with so many men 600 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:28,560 like when I was younger and like, I wish that I listened to 601 00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:30,160 my body in the way that you did that. 602 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:33,080 So you might say that you're like factualism and stuff like 603 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:36,680 you still actually had more control than maybe you realized. 604 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,080 So like, so when you were at school, there was a lot of like 605 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:40,720 slurs that were like chopped around. 606 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,960 And then when did you, did you always know that you were like 607 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,400 slightly? So, OK, so like here's how it 608 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,960 happened. Like again, I think I've 609 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:52,760 realized, like I don't think I can overestimate how much 610 00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:57,640 chasing those guys and having them, not if one fucking dude, 611 00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:01,680 if one fucking guy had come up to me in school and been like, 612 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:04,280 hey, Molly, I've got a crush. You would have gone, Oh, I'm 613 00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:06,440 gay. I would have been like oh yuck, 614 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:10,680 but like that again, like the muscle just kept developing of 615 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:14,360 like OK, two men. I am not worthy like I am not 616 00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:16,320 enough and that. That made you want it more. 617 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:20,160 It overshadowed every ability to like, tune into my body and be 618 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:21,720 like, oh, what do I actually want? 619 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:26,200 And then it also feeds into the horrendous lesbian trope of you 620 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,600 just can't get a man. That's what. 621 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:30,040 Yeah, that shit is fucking ridiculous. 622 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,200 So dumb so. But also it's way harder to get 623 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:33,640 a girl than it is. Yeah, everyone. 624 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:34,880 Yeah. No, literally. 625 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:36,640 But yeah. Like, so growing up where I 626 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,240 remember when I was in like primary school or like 12, it's 627 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,680 so weird things have come so far in such a short amount of time. 628 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:44,880 Yeah, but like, and. But when I was in high school 629 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:47,360 there was no like I know with TikTok as well. 630 00:27:47,360 --> 00:27:49,720 Like I think a lot of people found out they were gay on 631 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,120 fucking. On that, they fucking did. 632 00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:52,880 And like, it really helped me. I'm not going to lie. 633 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,800 I really TikTok helped me a lot. Like, yeah, but yeah, like when 634 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,560 I was in school, I didn't actively seek out anything 635 00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:00,240 because like, I didn't really know. 636 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:02,200 It was only like 1 of my experience. 637 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,280 I've been unpacking. Oh, you'll fucking hate this. 638 00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,720 Ready. So, yeah, so I had experiences 639 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:09,040 of like wanting the guys to like me and like there were those 640 00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:14,480 like, oh, when I was in year 9, those fucking hot lists of like 641 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:15,520 the hottest pit. Do you do? 642 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,480 So there was what ready do? You have this Perry. 643 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,040 I'm looking at Perry. Is this like an Australian? 644 00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:21,440 Do you remember? Ask FM. 645 00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:24,000 Oh, I remember. Oh fucking. 646 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,280 Ask FM Should we do an ask FM right now? 647 00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:29,440 Let's do like and on. Let's fucking name you're A. 648 00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:33,160 Fucking you're a fucking bitch. But yeah, like Ask FM, there was 649 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,080 a list right Ready. So they had a thing When I was 650 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:39,040 in year 9, there was a like, who are the hottest girls in the 651 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:39,520 year? Yeah. 652 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:43,280 And again, just things like that make you you, you don't realize 653 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:44,640 how much it. Like, Oh my God, I would have 654 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,000 not been on that. And I wasn't. 655 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,480 And I was like, and it was always like, oh, like you're 656 00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:50,800 funny. But I was like, I want you to 657 00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:52,080 think I'm the hottest bitch ever. 658 00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,320 What do you mean funny? Like be call me hot. 659 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,800 But yeah, again, like it just we're taught so young that like 660 00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:59,800 if the guys want you. By the way, funny, you're 661 00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:01,720 worthy. Yeah, I know, I know. 662 00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:04,240 Now I'm like, Oh my God, shut up and all the guys. 663 00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:06,760 When you're a kid. When you're a kid. 664 00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:08,960 But then there you go and oh, oh, everyone, sorry, but 665 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,360 everyone from my high school now, all the boys are so fugly. 666 00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:13,520 But like, yeah, growing up I had that. 667 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:17,080 And like, again, it got better, but people were still 668 00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:18,480 homophobic, you know what I mean? 669 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,160 There was still. It's still there. 670 00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,640 Yeah, it was. Still there and like 2016, 671 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:25,040 that's just when Netflix came out. 672 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:28,160 Just around then, like streaming services, more inclusive shows 673 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,560 were starting to come out, but. And TikTok help because the 674 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,200 algorithm was larger. Yes but that was but again I got 675 00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:36,680 TikTok in 2019. I was what I was like 2021 ish 676 00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:40,640 like it was like it was not in my like really vulnerable state 677 00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:42,840 as like a fucking child. Should have really done with 678 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:44,120 that. Yeah, that's why I always say 679 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:45,440 that representation is so fucking. 680 00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:46,320 Important. So important. 681 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,440 Is why we do this, which is why we do like everything that we do 682 00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:51,000 because it's just like you can't always just rely on that 683 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,720 algorithm to feed you as well the right shit exactly you want 684 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:56,560 to see. So then when did you come out 685 00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:57,800 like what? How old were? 686 00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:59,120 You, well, it's really interesting. 687 00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:01,440 I remember the body. You can do whatever you want, 688 00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:04,400 but the the body will hunt you down and tell you, you know what 689 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:04,760 I mean? Like. 690 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:06,360 That you're a dying. And yeah, yeah. 691 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,600 And I remember, like, the same thing you said, like where it 692 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:11,120 was like your body was like, what's going on? 693 00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:13,200 It was really interesting. I had this thing where I would 694 00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,760 like, really publicly be like, I like this boy. 695 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,120 I like this guy. I will like, I like this boy. 696 00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:20,040 And like, if you have a question of boy, I don't think you're 697 00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:21,560 telling everyone, babe, like this. 698 00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,080 You may have sounded a bit emotionally stunted because of 699 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:27,440 Yeah, because it really wasn't real. 700 00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:29,960 Yeah, well, I didn't know it wasn't real, but because like, I 701 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:33,040 didn't get the chance to, as you said before, you were like, it 702 00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:34,480 didn't play out or something like that. 703 00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:36,720 Was it like it never because it never played out. 704 00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:38,320 I was like, well, I don't know, like. 705 00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:40,720 An experience with a girl though, that made you be like 706 00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:43,120 oh. So when I was in like Europe, I 707 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:47,000 went on like a school trip and I remember school trip we love. 708 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,000 I was very, I would say I was very repressed in school. 709 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,840 I didn't realize I didn't even know it was going on type thing. 710 00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:55,600 But I remember I met like she was on the school trip. 711 00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:59,360 Oh, this, this is this is my fucking origins to like villain 712 00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:01,440 origin story. And I remember as I was going to 713 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,880 sleep, I said to this other girl who was my friend. 714 00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:07,640 I was like, I think I like the girl. 715 00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:11,360 And then at school in front I didn't I hadn't told anyone. 716 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,160 I didn't. It was very because again, all 717 00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:14,800 the boy crushes like I like them. 718 00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:18,000 But this girl I remember being like don't fucking like no one 719 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:21,280 fucking like no, And I remember being like, oh, I think I like 720 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:22,920 like her. Then I remember being like, what 721 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:25,800 the what the fuck like that? That's new. 722 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:28,600 And then in front of a whole group at school, she was like, 723 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:31,000 oh, Molly, remember when we were going to sleep and you said you 724 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,160 liked blank? Yeah, I have that fucking that 725 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,120 fucking bitch. Yeah, honestly, yeah. 726 00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:39,760 And she's freak anyway lol. Oh my God, that's so. 727 00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:41,600 Bad. It's so and I remember bit, but 728 00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:43,960 again, as you said, like you know how you just spoke about my 729 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:46,160 upbringing and stuff. I think my body. 730 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,560 I remember in that moment, you know, I'd be very public about 731 00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:51,440 being like, I like boys. But then my stomach dropped when 732 00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:53,040 she announced that because it was like of. 733 00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:55,160 Course, it probably felt like your whole body was on fire. 734 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:56,280 Exactly. Really. 735 00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:58,520 That's a lot. And also to just be like outed 736 00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:00,400 like that and something that you were so vulnerable. 737 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:02,120 Yeah, that. I fucking hate. 738 00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:04,640 What the fuck in the world fucking. 739 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:07,320 Hell, like that kid, I'm sure she wouldn't do that now, but 740 00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:09,280 fuck you. Yeah, fuck you. 741 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:12,440 Beep, I won't say her name, but but yeah, but yeah, but just 742 00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,040 like as you said, my body, I think the fact that it felt such 743 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:18,720 shame like that shows like how my upbringing resulted in that. 744 00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:21,920 And like one thing I've been so embarrassed about is I not 745 00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:25,280 embarrassed, but I am now I I am a lesbian, but having all these 746 00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:28,280 annoying, I call them like compact crushes is like, you 747 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:29,360 feel like, oh, I'm not a lesbian. 748 00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:30,320 Then you. Feel like you're frustrating 749 00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:31,160 yourself a little. Oh, it's. 750 00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:34,080 It's literally like fucking so annoying in my head. 751 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,640 And then like, you meet these men or you see them a year later 752 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:39,320 or something, you're like, Oh my fucking like, what the fuck was 753 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:42,600 like, like, who cares? Like it's just like it's just 754 00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:46,640 your subconscious brain just trying so hard to get this out 755 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:50,320 of your system in a way like, and that is really heavy to have 756 00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,880 to deal with whilst you're also aware of the fact that you are a 757 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:54,480 lesbian. Do you know what I mean? 758 00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:59,120 But I think that like the more I would say that the more that you 759 00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:02,000 like embrace being a lesbian and being like so fucking proud of 760 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:03,480 that. And also surrounding yourself 761 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:06,040 with lesbians is like a big thing that do you have many like 762 00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:08,640 lesbian friends and I. Was going to say like in this 763 00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,840 last year, like I've started like going to like, like events 764 00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:14,000 and like going out to like more like queer bars. 765 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:17,120 And that's again, like I literally went to like a queer 766 00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:20,760 bar and I was like, oh, I feel 1000 times better. 767 00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:22,520 Like things like that, you know what I mean? 768 00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:25,800 But like, it's really interesting and I I'm if this 769 00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:27,920 stuff kind of resonates with people. 770 00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:30,000 Like I'm sure it does. I will, I will say something 771 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:31,960 that I've found really helpful for me. 772 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:35,160 So can I do like a little story because I think I think this 773 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,320 might help. So I was at like a games night 774 00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:40,200 and there was like a new guy there and he was very 775 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:41,640 conventionally attractive and stuff. 776 00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:44,240 And like usually what I will notice when I'm around someone 777 00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:46,640 like that is all kind of not like always flirt, but kind of 778 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,560 try to like impress them a little bit. 779 00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:52,840 So what I've been really working on now is having like quite a 780 00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:56,720 neutral stance around men's not being like, I fucking hate them 781 00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:59,720 and and ignoring them because so because I find if I then go the 782 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,080 other way, it does, it's still it's still. 783 00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,600 Feeding into the attention. We want to, we want to just make 784 00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:07,440 them little, little background NPCS. 785 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:11,320 So like what I'll do now is I'll relax my body language, relax my 786 00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:14,800 face and like I'll kind of do the opposite of what my body. 787 00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,360 Like the quick reaction it wants to do is like flirt and like 788 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,679 look good and like perform. And I try and like just drop my 789 00:34:19,679 --> 00:34:22,719 shoulders back, breathe through it and just like talk really 790 00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:26,320 slowly and look them in the eye and just notice the urge to be 791 00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:29,639 flirty and not act on it. And I will say like that guy 792 00:34:29,639 --> 00:34:32,159 came to this games night and rather than it turning into a 793 00:34:32,159 --> 00:34:34,639 thing where I meet him once and then obsess over him for a year, 794 00:34:34,639 --> 00:34:38,360 the idea of him and then like go crazy, I just like did that and 795 00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:40,080 I was like, that's good. Like you know what I mean? 796 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:41,840 And I. Think, I think it's, I think as 797 00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:44,719 well because you what I think that maybe you internalize it as 798 00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:47,920 when you're flirting, yeah. You are giving them permission 799 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:48,960 and control. Yeah. 800 00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:55,360 So then when they don't reciprocate, that need for that 801 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:59,400 control back becomes way more important to you. 802 00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:02,920 So therefore, you're going to spend all that time obsessing as 803 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:06,360 to how you can get that power back because you gave it up so 804 00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:09,360 freely and that shamed you because you didn't even want 805 00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:10,720 them in the first place. Right. 806 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,840 And then you're like, I've almost made a fallout of myself. 807 00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:16,000 I've been above and beyond trying to impress him. 808 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:17,440 And he's at what? He's not even. 809 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,360 Oh, so he's liked that now. So that's a little bit of 810 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,880 validity, and I'm trying to claw back from the 100% validation 811 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,480 that I gave away. I can understand that. 812 00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:28,000 Yeah, I can really understand. That and that's not like you 813 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,880 seem like someone who's so you know, like, yeah, I'm in break. 814 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:32,720 So it's not, but it's nice to hear it, isn't it? 815 00:35:32,720 --> 00:35:35,280 Because it reminds you that like, you can still be an like I 816 00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:39,440 am an out lesbian God. I'm a fucking loser like me. 817 00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:40,880 I'm a loser. I'm a loser. 818 00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:43,000 I'm a loser. I'm a loser. 819 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:46,280 Loser. Yeah, and literally sorry. 820 00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,240 I'm like, I'm a sucker. Like sucker, it's like a club, 821 00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,520 literally. I'm such a sucker and I am a 822 00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:56,000 very out lesbian. Obviously I've got a fucking 823 00:35:56,040 --> 00:36:00,160 everything is gay, but I also for so many years had that like 824 00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,480 compulsion. And even to this day I find that 825 00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:05,200 my body language is probably naturally flirty. 826 00:36:05,240 --> 00:36:07,520 I do tend to say more neutral with men. 827 00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:09,080 Like I am not one of those lesbians. 828 00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:10,320 It's like don't fucking speak to me. 829 00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:12,160 And that's what I mean, because it's like, I also don't care 830 00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,200 about you enough to even do. That which I think is, you know, 831 00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:16,520 that's great. And then and then. 832 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,200 That's great. That's great. 833 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:20,400 If I'm find someone, like genuinely interesting, then it's 834 00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:21,680 like, yeah, I want to have that conversation. 835 00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:23,960 But in the back of my mind, all the time I'm thinking, is he 836 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:25,960 thinking that I'm being flirty? Yeah. 837 00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:27,440 Is he thinking that I'm being flirty? 838 00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:29,400 And I will think about it that way. 839 00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:32,200 And then it is that thing where it's almost like there is that 840 00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:34,280 desire to just want everyone to want you. 841 00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:35,000 Yeah. Right. 842 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:38,200 But you know what's interesting? I think this is what's made it 843 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:41,960 all a bit odd is that that like this is just Oh my God, no, I 844 00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:44,000 love it, but it's literally patriarchy, right? 845 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:47,160 It's like it is with we are taught that like men and what 846 00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:51,800 men want should be the most upheld thing ever 2% and like 847 00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:54,400 like women. I know for some women that is 848 00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:56,760 great if they're like, I care so much, like, like, but I 849 00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:59,640 obviously care but like as in like, I'm trying to unlearn 850 00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:01,640 that, but. It's putting men on a pedestal, 851 00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:03,760 yes, right. They've always been up there. 852 00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:05,960 But I also think that it is a very different experience you 853 00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:08,760 growing up in Australia. That is also why there's a lot 854 00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:11,400 of Australian lesbians living in the UK. 855 00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:15,400 Perry over there. You're just one of them, hey? 856 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:17,440 Perry. Or also like yeah. 857 00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:20,360 I'm also good at. That getting that you are 858 00:37:20,720 --> 00:37:23,520 getting like understanding their sexuality when they move over 859 00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:27,000 here yeah, that's yeah a few times as well because the compat 860 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:29,720 is a next level over there like I do know that it's way worse 861 00:37:29,720 --> 00:37:33,000 and. It's fucking, it's all like the 862 00:37:33,240 --> 00:37:36,200 rugby boys. I like the girl and like it's 863 00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:40,720 such like a like it's like there's like, as you said, like 864 00:37:40,720 --> 00:37:42,600 I grew up in a very. Well, it's just the fact that 865 00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:45,360 like, the men can walk around in a fucking dodgy moustache and a 866 00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:46,480 mullet and all the girls are like. 867 00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:48,800 Oh yeah, yeah. Like, wow, yeah. 868 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:50,400 What are we looking? Are we looking at the same 869 00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:53,080 answer the? Standard of men is so fucking. 870 00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:56,080 Yeah, no, it's. Grim and but but even there put 871 00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:57,960 up on a pedestal. Yeah, exactly. 872 00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:00,840 So imagine like, no wonder why you feel like you're like, you 873 00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:04,200 know, but I feel like within like fixing that insecurity will 874 00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,720 also allow you to feel that same level of respect. 875 00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:10,480 Yes, not respect, but like what's the word that I'm looking 876 00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:15,120 for that that same level of who want to say pedestal not even 877 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:17,560 like hierarchy. Is an equal, isn't it? 878 00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:21,840 Equal like do you feel like you will put women higher once your 879 00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:23,720 own insecurities about being a woman? 880 00:38:23,720 --> 00:38:24,800 Yes. Is higher. 881 00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:27,520 It's literally like, it's so interesting, like, and I think 882 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:32,080 what I've learnt, I think a lot of people I'm I for me, I was 883 00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:35,240 like, oh, I'm a lesbian. I should just like be able to 884 00:38:35,240 --> 00:38:37,480 like focus on women. And it's actually for a lot of 885 00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:40,520 these things, it's actually been a very like mechanical thing 886 00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:42,480 that I've had to do to like unlearn this stuff. 887 00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:46,000 So for example, like I will watch like a lot of women only 888 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:47,640 media now. Like, I'll listen to songs by 889 00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:48,880 women. I'll read books. 890 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:50,760 I feel like, I feel like you're going to like. 891 00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:51,320 Yeah, I know. I'm like. 892 00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:53,480 What is it? It's like the opposite of a 893 00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:55,080 conversion. Yeah, no, literally I'm. 894 00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:57,840 Like I'm just like, here, go and watch the album. 895 00:38:58,120 --> 00:38:59,680 No, you fall asleep to this hypnosis. 896 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,080 Yeah, yeah. I like women. 897 00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,280 Like like literally. And I think for some people it 898 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:05,360 might be like, well, do you even like women then? 899 00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:07,240 Because you have to do. It's like, yes, like this is 900 00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:09,240 what for some people, this is doing it. 901 00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:10,000 Can you? Care. 902 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,280 Yeah, care do. You know what it actually feels 903 00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:14,760 like, and I'm so sorry to cult survivors if this sounds 904 00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,200 insensitive. It feels like coming out of a 905 00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:18,560 cult. It literally feels as dramatic, 906 00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,840 real. It feels as like intense as it 907 00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:23,400 feels like can't. Pet is, is like a cult is a 908 00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:26,880 fucking and the amount of women, yes that make their lives 909 00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:30,440 miserable because they and never get out of it because the cult 910 00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:34,960 is there to convince you that even if you are starting to 911 00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:39,040 think about like a woman, that that's actually just it's not 912 00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:41,040 the same and it's not going to be as good and you're as good as 913 00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:43,040 the guy. So even if you're a bisexual, 914 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,560 right, it's like, no, no, no, that's not going to happen 915 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:48,000 because the guy you, you're so much better off doing Yeah, 916 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:49,600 yeah, right. So why would you why would you 917 00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,760 leave the cult? Yes, Why would you leave that 918 00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:55,200 and be happy? Yeah, if you could actually kind 919 00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:58,440 of suck it up and grin and bear it with a man and make sure you 920 00:39:58,440 --> 00:39:59,880 have the kids. Like, look, look at all your 921 00:39:59,880 --> 00:40:01,680 friends are having children, all getting married. 922 00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:04,320 And I want to go and run around with a spiky little dike around 923 00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:06,000 the corner. Like, you know what I mean? 924 00:40:06,240 --> 00:40:08,680 That that's the that's the way that they view it, whereas the 925 00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:11,920 way that I view it as. Fuck them kids. 926 00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:14,080 Fuck. You, well, you don't. 927 00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:15,200 It's like it's one of those things. 928 00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:17,400 That you could live a life with a beautiful woman and have a 929 00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:19,800 very fulfilling, yes life. But it is. 930 00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:21,760 But it is really interesting that like, this is your 931 00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:23,960 experience. Because I also feel for people 932 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:26,400 like us who are very outgoing. Yes. 933 00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:29,640 And we have a lot of opinions. And yes, you obviously see the 934 00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:31,800 world in so many different ways, which is how you're able to do 935 00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:34,000 what you do. That they don't almost think 936 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:35,440 that that struggle comes with it. 937 00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,840 Yeah. You know, And all of us have got 938 00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:39,320 like a fucking struggle somewhere. 939 00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:41,520 I'm fucking riddled with them, so don't worry about that. 940 00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:45,600 It's literally that it's like guys like fucking out like 941 00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:48,120 fucking fucking out. This compare is it's it's my 942 00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:50,360 biggest upload. No, but like I think for people 943 00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:52,880 to hear that you've experienced it as well will be really 944 00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:55,320 helpful and like I trust me, like I. 945 00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:56,360 Get out the cult. Yeah. 946 00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:59,120 And do you know what, on your point, I think a lot of people 947 00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:02,120 as well. For me, what I've realized, just 948 00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:04,320 to be transparent, my therapist was like, she was like what? 949 00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:07,320 What is like one of the benefits and like, how can like being a 950 00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:11,120 lesbian be good and like pussy? Yeah. 951 00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:14,440 But I couldn't, I couldn't answer it. 952 00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:17,520 And I was like, wow, this goes deep and it goes deep. 953 00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:21,200 And what? So what I've, I think don't this 954 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:24,040 is what I'm literally in the process of telling myself is 955 00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:27,160 it's if you don't know what it's going to look like, it makes 956 00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,000 sense that you want to go back in the closet. 957 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:30,560 Do you know what I mean? A little bit. 958 00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:32,120 Oh my God. So it's the fear of the unknown. 959 00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:35,320 Yeah, it's literally not. It's like, it's so now all I'm 960 00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,680 I'm literally I'm leaving that cult of like. 961 00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:40,240 The fear of the unknown is the worst, Yeah, because it is the 962 00:41:40,240 --> 00:41:43,360 fear, and the fear will only ever build up negative 963 00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:44,960 scenarios. Yeah, ahead. 964 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:46,080 Right. So it's a bit like if you have a 965 00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:48,200 fear of flying before you get on that flight, the whole time 966 00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:49,920 you're thinking, well, it's going to fucking crash. 967 00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:52,160 Or if you've never been on the plane and all you've like, it's 968 00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:53,280 like. All you've ever seen is plane 969 00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:54,800 crashes. Yeah, you'll be like it's lit. 970 00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:57,680 That's literally it's like, and if everyone every homophobic 971 00:41:57,680 --> 00:41:59,640 thing around you has been like, oh, this, this, this, this and 972 00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:01,920 this, of course you're not going to be like right time to be a 973 00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:03,040 lesbian. Like you're going to be like, 974 00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:05,920 holy, Oh no, I'm doing something in inverted commas. 975 00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:07,280 But. The thing is, I mean, I can say 976 00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,200 it from like being on the other side that it is the most 977 00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:14,280 freeing, amazing fucking warming feeling ever. 978 00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:19,800 And I've never felt prouder and but that took me so long to get 979 00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:21,240 there. But it doesn't mean that just 980 00:42:21,240 --> 00:42:23,480 because it takes it might have taken me longer than like 981 00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:25,200 somebody else. Some people really quick, some 982 00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,560 people are longer, some people take longer in life because 983 00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:29,160 they've also been like. Boyfriend. 984 00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:29,840 Boyfriend. Boyfriend. 985 00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:30,640 Yeah, Yes. Compact. 986 00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:31,360 Compact. Yeah. 987 00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:32,040 Compact. Yeah. 988 00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:33,960 Something's really wrong, but I don't know. 989 00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:35,560 Yeah, do it again. Compact. 990 00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:37,720 I don't. Know he's perfect, Fuck him. 991 00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:40,880 You're on such a buzz. Yeah, but yeah. 992 00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:43,760 Thing so like for me, I'm just like I know that it shouldn't be 993 00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:45,560 a while, but I know it's taking other people longer and I know 994 00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:47,960 it's taking other people like a different amount of time yes but 995 00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:52,720 like my thing that if I could go back to me when I was younger, I 996 00:42:52,720 --> 00:42:55,600 would shake my. Fucking shoulders. 997 00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:58,160 Don't look at these fugly. Men, don't look at any of these 998 00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:00,200 fugly men and stop putting yourself through it. 999 00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:01,880 No, you're not gaslighting yourself. 1000 00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:03,520 Yes, you are gay. Yes. 1001 00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:06,600 And actually it's fucking great. And gay doesn't look like that 1002 00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:08,560 nightmare that you have in your head, right? 1003 00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:09,200 And. It's. 1004 00:43:09,240 --> 00:43:13,760 Great and it's great and it's so much fun and you feel so alive 1005 00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:16,240 and you genuinely will now get to feel love. 1006 00:43:16,240 --> 00:43:19,480 But the good thing is like in working through all this, what I 1007 00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:22,400 can really say now and I've I've not it's not been like only 1008 00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:23,800 since this year I've had glimpses like I've. 1009 00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:26,640 Had glimpses but I think it's more now you feel ready to face. 1010 00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:28,600 It and yeah and I. Think it's identifying it as the 1011 00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:30,080 issue. Yes, it's good that you did. 1012 00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:33,280 I'm really like unpacking it and like what I feel like, no, you 1013 00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:35,960 are. But it's like, but it's 1014 00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:37,880 literally that. And it's like now I'm starting 1015 00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,640 to sit like, even when I said like, I went to that queer club 1016 00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:43,880 and I was like, oh, oh, so this is what it's like for your body 1017 00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:47,280 to feel like horny. Yeah, we love feeling horny, you 1018 00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:49,000 know? What I mean it's like I love it. 1019 00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,960 Yeah, it's like so like that feeling of dread in a straight 1020 00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:55,000 club like that you that I thought I was like, no, this is 1021 00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:56,400 woo. I'm flirt. 1022 00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,320 It's like, no, it's. Also just like not fun because 1023 00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:01,760 you don't have that drive in you to kind of almost just be around 1024 00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:03,960 your like your people, yes, in a way, right. 1025 00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:05,160 So you feel a bit like out of place. 1026 00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:06,840 You just don't know. Why, Yeah, you're like, what's 1027 00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:08,120 going on? And you're like, oh, this is a 1028 00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:09,680 weird feeling. But yeah, like when I was in 1029 00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:12,480 that club, like the quit club, I was like, hell yeah. 1030 00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:14,040 And it's like, it's nice, isn't it? 1031 00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:15,960 And like your body and it's so weird. 1032 00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:18,640 It's like it kind of, I think they've said this, I think it's 1033 00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,720 on. I was watching like love Simon. 1034 00:44:20,720 --> 00:44:25,360 I love that film. And like they were who's who 1035 00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:27,960 isn't suddenly 30 The actress. I do. 1036 00:44:28,240 --> 00:44:29,800 Oh, my goodness. What? 1037 00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:34,520 This is no 3013 going on 30. Oh, Jennifer Garner, Jennifer 1038 00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:36,240 Garner love her. She's there's a bit where she 1039 00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:41,040 says to Nick Robinson, the main guy, Simon, She's like, you can 1040 00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:43,840 like breathe now. And I was like, oh, and it's and 1041 00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:45,520 it's really cute and it's just like, it's true. 1042 00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:48,520 Like, yeah, it feels like you've been like holding your breath, 1043 00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:50,120 holding it in. And it's just like. 1044 00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:54,520 And then you can actually just go, Oh yeah, you know, it's 1045 00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:56,680 easy. And it's a huge thing, like to 1046 00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:59,360 be able to do that, to like combat it, combat the compat. 1047 00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:01,200 Honestly, we need that on a T-shirt, but I can't. 1048 00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:04,920 No like I literally want to get a shirt that's like compat is my 1049 00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:07,760 biggest fucking OP. It is your fucking OP Like for 1050 00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:09,280 real. But we, we working on it. 1051 00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:11,760 We are working on it, but it's getting, it really is getting 1052 00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:12,840 better. I'm like, yeah. 1053 00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:15,440 The people with just the struggles are just the best 1054 00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:17,440 comedians. Like, what is it that you want 1055 00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:18,920 to do now, though? Like, going forward? 1056 00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:21,280 So you've got your online creator. 1057 00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:23,680 Yeah, you're doing all different types of stuff that because 1058 00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:27,200 like, I think, I mean, I can assume you've been some good 1059 00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:29,120 drama school girl. Like I feel like You Can Dance, 1060 00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:30,600 sing, act. Yeah. 1061 00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:34,600 So I have a podcast, I do TikTok. 1062 00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:37,560 I do like acting stuff as well. Love that, love musical theatre, 1063 00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:39,320 love making stuff, love writing stuff. 1064 00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:41,200 I'm very much wherever it takes me. 1065 00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:43,840 I love doing lots of different things and I love having like, 1066 00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:46,040 yeah, but I love doing comedy stuff. 1067 00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:48,480 So I feel like it all feeds into each other, right? 1068 00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:50,960 Like I was like doing a piano lesson. 1069 00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:54,520 Oh my God, I do like beginner piano lessons at the school. 1070 00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:56,560 And we were learning Welcome to the Black Parade. 1071 00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:59,600 And then I did like a group end of term concert with a bunch of 1072 00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:00,600 eight-year olds. And it was. 1073 00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:02,680 Just I fucking love that I fucking. 1074 00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:04,480 It was just me and these children and they were better 1075 00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:07,200 than me and I was like, this is this is fucked. 1076 00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:11,440 And it was like when I was a young boy and it was just, but 1077 00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:13,680 yes. But again, like all these things 1078 00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:16,320 feed into each other and like help each other. 1079 00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:17,920 I'm Australian. I'm in London at the moment. 1080 00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:20,600 Like just being in different places just helps, I can't 1081 00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:21,760 believe. You're only here for two days. 1082 00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:24,160 I know I am. I look, to be honest, being back 1083 00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:25,920 here, I'm like, all right, I love it. 1084 00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:28,880 I'll go back. I'll go back to London in it. 1085 00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:32,200 But yeah, that's why, because I was born here, guys. 1086 00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:33,280 I was born in London. Born here. 1087 00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:36,800 Can you not tell by that accent? I was fucking born in London in 1088 00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:39,680 it, but now I'm in Australia I can't. 1089 00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:42,760 So yeah, I've got like a bit of those bit of both accents. 1090 00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:44,360 I love you so much. You know, you've got the, you've 1091 00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:46,720 got the passports. Yeah, yeah, I have a British 1092 00:46:46,720 --> 00:46:52,400 passport appreciation. Yeah, I actually am. 1093 00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:54,040 I Willy. Willy. 1094 00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:56,400 I'm from Britain, but yeah. I love you. 1095 00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:57,560 Yeah. I actually love you. 1096 00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:00,040 And before you go as well, I was like thinking of this new 1097 00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:02,240 segment, which is called lesbian or lesbian out. 1098 00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:03,200 Right. So it's like. 1099 00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:05,720 The insurance and outs of like lesbian stereotypes. 1100 00:47:05,720 --> 00:47:07,680 Interesting. And then you're going to tell me 1101 00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:09,880 your like hot take on that, like whether you think it's in or 1102 00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:13,640 whether you think it's out. OK OK so my first one would be 1103 00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:15,640 saying I love you within the 1st 2:00. 1104 00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:20,120 Months out. Shut the grow up, grow up. 1105 00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:22,280 No, you don't. You don't know. 1106 00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:28,040 Him no freak Limerick weird. Don't be a freak, don't be a 1107 00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:29,800 fucking freak. Shut up. 1108 00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:34,600 Like no you don't I you. It takes like 5 years to learn 1109 00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:36,080 how much you fucking hate people. 1110 00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:38,240 Like all right, none of that shit. 1111 00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:41,800 Yeah, no, five years and then you say something OK, like a 1112 00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:44,280 normal. Person that is, if anyone said I 1113 00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:47,880 love you to me, no. I kind of love you. 1114 00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:50,760 It's kind of bad. It's been like 2 hours. 1115 00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:51,480 I love. You. 1116 00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:53,720 I love it. No, but like, genuinely. 1117 00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:56,360 Yeah, 2 within two months. That's far too soon. 1118 00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:58,680 So embarrassing. What would be your like your 1119 00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:00,920 your time frame of saying I love you though? 1120 00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:04,480 I mean, like four to five months, I thought that's OK. 1121 00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:06,840 Like 4 to 6 months, Four to six months, OK. 1122 00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:09,400 But the two months, no. And the two months, no, you 1123 00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:11,520 don't know. You don't know someone in that 1124 00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:13,040 time. You don't know someone. 1125 00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:14,520 And I think just because. You've been there. 1126 00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:16,320 That asshole does not mean that you know that. 1127 00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:20,520 That is poetry. That's beautiful. 1128 00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,480 That's what I'm feeding to all these U-Haul lesbians. 1129 00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:25,480 I'm like just. You don't know, but I can 1130 00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:28,480 understand how people do. It's intoxication. 1131 00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:29,920 Yeah. It's like you finally come out. 1132 00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:32,080 You finally meet someone. You finally feel like you're in 1133 00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:33,320 the right place. But it's lost. 1134 00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:34,960 But yeah, it's lost. You don't know them. 1135 00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:36,760 It's it's just they could be anyone. 1136 00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:37,800 You don't know. You don't know them. 1137 00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:39,160 Next. Next. 1138 00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:41,680 Lesbian in, lesbian out dry humping. 1139 00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:47,640 In I think that's I. Think so too. 1140 00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:49,640 I think that's silly. I love how you're getting all of 1141 00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:51,320 these right. Yeah, yeah. 1142 00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:54,000 No, I think that's yeah, it's giving like, yeah. 1143 00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:55,640 Hump is fun. Yeah, it's funny. 1144 00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:57,200 Yeah. It's like, oh, and it's like 1145 00:48:57,200 --> 00:48:59,080 everyone's like, yeah, I think that 100. 1146 00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:01,760 Percent lesbian in lesbian out dating within a friendship 1147 00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:07,000 group. God, if you've really thought it 1148 00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:10,240 out, like if everyone's on board, if you've thought it out, 1149 00:49:10,240 --> 00:49:11,720 you've thought of the consequences. 1150 00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:14,880 If it's if you really do feel like it's someone who. 1151 00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:16,800 Is worth. It is worth it and it's not 1152 00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:18,800 going to ruin everything. And everyone in the group is 1153 00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:20,760 like, you know what? This feels right. 1154 00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:23,480 If we, if you guys were suddenly a couple, yeah. 1155 00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:26,560 But if it's just like, we met yesterday, now we're in love. 1156 00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:28,040 I'd be like, shut the fuck. Like no. 1157 00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:29,800 Like no. Someone's getting kicked out the 1158 00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:31,600 fucking group. If everyone's just horny and 1159 00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:35,160 like doing no, but if it if you honestly feel like if if you 1160 00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:37,680 guys were, you know, like in fucking friends when Monica and 1161 00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:41,280 Chandler. 100 and it was just. Suddenly like, yeah, all right, 1162 00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:43,120 cool. Like if it's like that and it 1163 00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:45,720 honestly feels like it. Would want to happen. 1164 00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:47,720 Yeah. Then I think it's honestly OK. 1165 00:49:47,720 --> 00:49:50,680 But if it's just like, I think also like, it's a bit tricky, 1166 00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:52,120 isn't it, when you're friends with people? 1167 00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:53,640 I think it's like transparency. Yeah. 1168 00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:55,360 It's like a big thing, right. So it's just that you don't want 1169 00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:57,720 to be like, yeah, yeah. Because then there's like X is 1170 00:49:57,720 --> 00:49:59,320 in the fucking room. Exactly. 1171 00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:00,880 Lesbian. You know, it's going to be 1172 00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:03,080 careful in this town and then in or out. 1173 00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:06,800 That was good strap. Good one. 1174 00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:08,200 Straight. I thought we said straight. 1175 00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:10,400 I thought we've been like straight, straight, right? 1176 00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:14,320 In, so in, so in. If you say out, come on. 1177 00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:17,360 Get a fucking get a grip literally get a grip. 1178 00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:21,640 You can go and join that other can in and out in and out. 1179 00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:25,920 Yeah, no, very keen with the whole life if you. 1180 00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:29,720 Don't know it's so in. Yeah, it's so in and I'm so 1181 00:50:29,720 --> 00:50:31,880 fucking sick of people saying if you like this trap then you're 1182 00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:34,000 straight. Fuck, what does that even mean? 1183 00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:36,480 Who says that? And it's who says that? 1184 00:50:36,760 --> 00:50:40,000 Do people say that? OK, it's not fucking hate that. 1185 00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:41,280 It's always connected in my darling. 1186 00:50:41,280 --> 00:50:43,640 Straight to call a girl handsome, and I don't think so. 1187 00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:46,600 I think a girl can be handsome. What are Why are people so 1188 00:50:46,640 --> 00:50:48,800 stupid and ugly? Oh, you must be straight then 1189 00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:49,920 it's like, oh, it looks like a Dick. 1190 00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:52,640 Yes, because that is the. That is the shape of the. 1191 00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:54,800 Who's it connected to? Who's it connected to? 1192 00:50:57,280 --> 00:50:59,040 Yeah. And it's just like, it's. 1193 00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:00,800 That's dumb. I've got tits swinging in my 1194 00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:02,400 face. Yeah, someone is strapping me. 1195 00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:05,080 That's not that's not straight. Yeah, yeah. 1196 00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:07,400 The name, name the straighteners in there. 1197 00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:09,440 No, that's name. That's so dumb. 1198 00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:11,240 It's so dumb. Where the fuck? 1199 00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:14,240 If anyone or if anyone says anything bad about that, they 1200 00:51:14,240 --> 00:51:16,160 can come to me. Should we ask all the lesbians 1201 00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:17,880 the one night tonight and just like, fucking stuff? 1202 00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:20,600 Yeah, yeah, that's not a fight. OK, thoughts on this? 1203 00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:24,680 Let's get the police involved. OK, story time to when we had a 1204 00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:27,240 strap fight at the event and the police got involved. 1205 00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:29,480 There's no such thing as bad PR. Yeah, exactly. 1206 00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:33,000 I you know that girl and she's like get ready with me for SIDS. 1207 00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:33,800 Really. Greece. 1208 00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:36,600 You know the chick and she's got the the makeup girl. 1209 00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:37,760 Jesus. Yeah, yeah. 1210 00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:41,440 With that Kim Kaddis great thing. 1211 00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:44,400 Yeah. I think we I know I do because 1212 00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:46,920 she because I just went to Greece and she has this video 1213 00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:50,400 where she's like get ready with me for said to really grease and 1214 00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:52,720 I've been saying it, but I fucking need to do that. 1215 00:51:52,720 --> 00:51:55,280 Yeah, I've had that just really quickly guys. 1216 00:51:55,280 --> 00:51:57,320 All right, while I've been here, these would be my 3 vocals. 1217 00:51:57,320 --> 00:51:59,080 Go on. OK, so I've had get ready with 1218 00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:03,520 me for said to really grease and nothing beats a Jet 2 holiday. 1219 00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:07,080 And the last one is, it's really old, but it's this video of this 1220 00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:09,000 lady and she's like. Who the hell doesn't love 1221 00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:11,520 macaroni? And it's from like 3 years ago 1222 00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:14,000 but it's like lady on TikTok and she was like 60. 1223 00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:17,640 So now this is your your 3. Those are the three top three of 1224 00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:19,840 your holiday. That's like the three recurring 1225 00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:21,480 thoughts I've had on a loop for like I. 1226 00:52:21,720 --> 00:52:22,560 Love. This it's. 1227 00:52:22,720 --> 00:52:24,480 It's just that's how it happens. I love this. 1228 00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:27,880 Nothing beats a Jet 2 holiday. I'm fucking you do. 1229 00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:29,640 It so. Well, fucking hell. 1230 00:52:29,720 --> 00:52:31,640 You've got so much of like a vocal depth. 1231 00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:35,120 When you do it, it's always nothing beats a Jet 2 holiday. 1232 00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:38,080 Joe, I'm going to it's like a show reel and descended up to 1233 00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:40,280 some advertising companies you had to do. 1234 00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:42,480 Your voice over here. Is my voice real? 1235 00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:43,920 It's that one. Yeah. 1236 00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:44,600 It's. Really good. 1237 00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:46,120 Could you do like a Tesco's checkout? 1238 00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:50,720 Like what do they usually say? Item in bagging area, Yeah. 1239 00:52:50,720 --> 00:52:53,000 Is it like that? Yeah, it's like that unexpected 1240 00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:56,400 item in bagging that. Was unexpected item in bagging 1241 00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:58,560 area. And then in Primark they go till 1242 00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:02,760 #3 please. That was till #3 that was shit. 1243 00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:03,560 I really been. To. 1244 00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:06,320 That's pretty good. Please, I'm going to Benson 1245 00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:07,680 Boone. Yeah, you are going to Benson 1246 00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:09,680 Boone. Then you should do the flip as 1247 00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:11,560 well. I actually should, yeah, 1248 00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:16,320 actually should I? I should I should I do some 1249 00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:17,720 flip? Molly, yeah. 1250 00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:20,720 I love the fact that I've only just tried to get to know you 1251 00:53:20,720 --> 00:53:22,120 within, like the space of an hour. 1252 00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:24,720 Yeah, but I really. Feel like, yeah, it was like, 1253 00:53:24,720 --> 00:53:25,800 no, that was really good. Yeah. 1254 00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:27,600 You know more than a lot of people babes like. 1255 00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:30,000 Well, where can people find you? Tell the lesbians where they can 1256 00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,440 go. What to click on? 1257 00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:35,960 OK you can find me on TikTok at Benson Boone at Moldogger 1258 00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:42,240 MOLDOGA, on Instagram at M fuck at MOLDOGAI don't know my. 1259 00:53:42,240 --> 00:53:44,600 Name on Spotify. I'm sorry what the fuck I'm on 1260 00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:46,080 Spotify. I also have a new song coming 1261 00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:48,240 out very soon. It's about milfs lol. 1262 00:53:48,440 --> 00:53:50,640 I can't wait for this. I've already heard the snippet 1263 00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:53,240 and I'm just fucking gas. He I showed Freya a little 1264 00:53:53,240 --> 00:53:56,160 snippet and it's I love it. It's funny, but yeah, I need. 1265 00:53:56,160 --> 00:53:59,080 To be the MILF somehow when you do you need to try and create. 1266 00:53:59,080 --> 00:54:00,640 Well, what? You will be the MILF of the 1267 00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:03,280 song. 100 I know that I'm only a few years older than you, but 1268 00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:06,920 like, people know your mother, so it's it works, but I also 1269 00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:09,160 want to hold like a baby and just like The Hobbit across the 1270 00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:12,160 room. Yeah, just throw a baby, yeah. 1271 00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:13,920 It's like, it's like you come along. 1272 00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:15,600 Yeah. And you're like, oh, I love 1273 00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:17,840 Milfs and you come on over and I've got the baby and I'm like 1274 00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:20,440 ashing onto its like head. Yeah, put my cigarette. 1275 00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:22,640 Yeah. And then you were just like, I 1276 00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:25,240 want to be your baby. And then I take the baby. 1277 00:54:25,240 --> 00:54:27,400 Yeah, I. Drop kick it OK because it's 1278 00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:30,080 like showing my dedication to like why to MILF? 1279 00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:31,280 Hood yeah. To MILF, Yeah. 1280 00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:33,240 And to your like, to your role as a MILF. 1281 00:54:33,240 --> 00:54:36,480 And also listen to the is is it It's so Silly podcast. 1282 00:54:36,480 --> 00:54:38,480 Kind of silly, yeah. So we have a podcast. 1283 00:54:38,560 --> 00:54:40,960 Yeah, if you if you think, if you thought this was silly, you 1284 00:54:40,960 --> 00:54:42,480 can see be silly over there, babes. 1285 00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:46,240 I love you guys as well. It's you and your friend. 1286 00:54:46,240 --> 00:54:47,600 Yeah, it's called Kind of Silly Podcast. 1287 00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:49,440 Go and check that out too. I'll obviously put everything in 1288 00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:51,800 the show notes for everyone to check out, but that's Queen and 1289 00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:53,360 thank you so much for coming on as well. 1290 00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:55,040 Freya and I are going now get jacked. 1291 00:54:55,320 --> 00:54:55,920 Bye.