This is the nourishing, Amy podcast and I am your host, Amy
Rankin. I'm an emotional intelligence
and well-being coach and a mum. And I am here to help you to
find your sparkle. Again, we are going to chat
about mindset, mum life, self-development pulling
yourself out when you need to, because life isn't perfect,
right? And basically learning to become
a happier version of you think of this as your time, For you,
I'm here to help you understand yourself, more feel, less
overwhelmed, and more self-confident.
And to navigate the ups and downs of life, if you're ready
for all of that and more, let's get into today's episode.
Hello and welcome to episode 121 of the nourishing.
Amy podcast, today's episode is going to be a little life update
for you. I know I mentioned in the last
episode that I've had some time off, things have felt really out
of control. I would say in the last few
months, really busy really crazy.
I felt a little bit crazy for a little while there.
Yeah, look, it's just been a lot and I want to talk Through some
things that I've really been enjoying some habits that have
been helping me to get back to myself and be feeling really
good. Again, some podcasts.
I've been listening to some books.
I've been reading updates on different habits, that the kids
have things, like, you know, eating breastfeeding, sleep
routines, all that kind of stuff.
Basically, all of the questions I get over on my Instagram.
I want to go through them with you and yeah just do a bit of an
update. I also want to talk about my My
personal experience with postnatal depression.
Of course, this is going to be different for everybody, but
it's another topic that I have been getting questions about
whenever I pop up a question box on my Instagram as well.
So I'll dive into what it looked like for me or also what it
currently looks like for me and how I'm navigating some
different warning signs that I noticed coming up for me and
what eventually led me to actually going and making an
appointment with my daughter? So I mean look as you know, from
my last episode, We have welcomed beautiful little Lila
into the world and it's just been a bit of a ride.
So I am actually back at work now.
So, Lila is 8 months old, I went back to work having my
one-on-one clients back in January.
So Lila was nearly six months old, so she was five and a half
months. When I went back, I was quite
emotional about it at the end of last year, but I think I'm glad
that I made that decision and gave myself about a month and a
half. A half or two months to really
get used to the idea of going back.
What seemed so soon to me? Because I didn't actually go
back taking one-on-one clients with Ali until he was about nine
months old and so she's at daycare.
So, both of the kids are at daycare Mondays and Tuesdays,
which means that Mondays and Tuesdays are a lot of the time
during the week some of my favorite days of the week
because anybody that has kids knows that they are very
unpredictable and things can really just hit the fan at a
minutes notice. S and Mondays and Tuesdays are.
Now my days that I really enjoy. Like I'm a routine person.
I love structure. I love to know what's going on.
If you have listened to any of my other podcast or heard me
talking about the certainty driver in our hoop, incites
human, psychological needs, I very much lean towards that
certainty driver and I definitely lean away from the
variety driver. So yeah, there's been a lot of
challenges with my certainty. I've a feeling very pushed to
its limits and not really met a lot of the time recently which
has meant that I've had to really Embrace that variety
driver. So my Mondays and Tuesdays,
they're my two days that I know their structure.
I know this routine, like, if a client is booked in at 10 a.m.
I know exactly what I'm doing. At 10 a.m.
I know who I'm talking to, I've got a general idea of what we're
going to be talking about and I just feel like they're my two
days that I'm like, right? I know what?
A happen on these days and that feels really good.
But also what I've really enjoyed is that also allows me
to lean into that variety driver and that variety side of myself
on the other days of the week without feeling like, it's too
much variety. So I feel like, I've got a
pretty good balance at the moment.
I've also been doing some workshops, which I'm absolutely
loving. I'm partnered with a few
beautiful, Pilates studios and gyms on the Central Coast where
I live and I just absolutely love it.
I love I love being able to be back in front of people again.
Now that we're not in lockdowns and just creating that
connection talking to people about, you know, what lights
them up, what? They might be struggling with
some mind catching mindset changes that we can be bringing
in and, of course, lots and lots of admin that I've been doing.
I also have been leading into doing a bit more content
creation. So I'm really, really lucky to
have a little bit of a Following over on Instagram.
I would say it's very much in the micro micro influencer
field, but Partnered with some really fantastic brands that I
am absolutely loving, at the moment, I won't partner with
anybody that I don't that doesn't align with me or that I
don't actually use myself anyway.
So it's kind of a win-win because I'm like, I mean, I'm
using your products or Services anyway yes.
I would love to make a real. I have a very creative side to
myself. I used to own an online clothing
store and I loved the Photoshop aspect in the creating back then
it on in Graham, it was very much about creating static
posts. So I love doing flat, lays and
being creative in that way and styling, and getting onto
Photoshop and, you know, putting text onto my photos and all of
that kind of stuff. So I guess content creation is
just like an extension of that. It's like my creation has
evolved as the technology around us is evolving as well.
So that's something that I'm really enjoying.
Also just getting out of the house to do.
My admin is something that I'm finding is really helping me to
thrive at the moment. So instead of like, I don't know
about you, but I just feel like when I've got a lot of admin to
do, and I'm in my office and you may have seen, I did a bit of a
office. Oh my gosh.
It's pouring rain. It literally just started
pouring rain. It's sunny outside.
And I just hung a load of washing out on the line.
Oh, anyway. That's not the point back to
what I was talking about. I don't know about you, but I
get really distracted. When I'm Working at home.
So like I was saying, I did a office refresh and I love my
office space, I find that because like all of my work that
I do is working from home with my clients and my admin that I
need to have a space, that feels really inviting for me.
So I did that and I did a big Kmart Hall at the start of the
year and just reset my office space and I love it.
But I do find that because I'm at home I just get so
distracted. I'm like oh I'll just quickly
pick up the kids toys or I'll just quickly vacuum and mop or
I'll just Really quickly do this or cook dinner for tonight.
So, it's ready. And I just get so distracted.
And I started to notice that when I was on my way home from
dropping the kids to daycare, if I had a little bit of a break in
between one-on-one clients, I would take myself to a cafe and
take my laptop and I am so productive.
I could do be there for two hours and do a whole entire days
worth of admin, that would normally take me a whole day at
home. So, that's another thing that
I've been. Really enjoying and something
that I think comes under the episode that I was talking about
last episode, as well of just being really intentional with
the things that I'm doing for myself.
Like, Timmy getting out of the house having time for myself and
being really productive and getting a lot of work done.
That feels really good for me and so, I definitely don't take
that for granted. I'm really Mindful and like I
find it a bit of a treat if I'm going to go and order myself a
coffee which is a decaf coffee at the moment.
Again, if you follow me on Instagram, you would have seen
that. I've actually Giving up caffeine
for a little while and I am feeling amazing.
I actually don't know if I'm going to go back to drinking
coffee, but I'm going to do a whole nother episode on that.
Maybe next episode, I'm going to talk about just ways that we can
change our habits and habits that you might notice that
aren't serving you as well as what they used to and what to
do, if you want to change them. So, yeah, that is me some things
that I have been really enjoying lately.
I am obsessed. East with Tick-Tock.
I'm probably a little bit late on the bandwagon, like but I
just, I love it. I am following some amazing
content creators on there and I just, I don't know, I was I feel
like I learned so much and like there for you page.
Their algorithm is just on point.
So I'm really, really loving that.
I follow a mixture of like lifestyle influences and videos
and like Kmart halls and Mindset staff and inspirational.
I don't know. I just I just love it and I've
also actually in the last few weeks, really gotten back into
creating over on Tick-Tock again to I feel a lot more authentic
on Tick Tock. I don't really know if that
explains it, I don't know. I just feel like Instagram for
me has always been a place that's been quite curated.
And, you know, it was the OG place for like filters and all
of that kind of stuff. And I love that.
Curation. I love that creative side of me
where I'm like, all that would be a really nice photo.
Like, that's nice aesthetic. But Tick-Tock, I'm like, you
know what? If I'm just getting out of bed
and I've got no makeup on and I don't feel that great.
I am still more than happy to record a video if there's
something on my mind. So they're just a bit of a
different vibe. So if you don't follow me on,
Tik-Tok, maybe come and check it out and just see if you maybe
prefer that Vibe and some other things, I'm enjoying just
getting out and having some fresh air.
I'm really feeling like that is so important.
My mental health, the differences that I'm noticing
with the transition from one to two children.
The biggest thing that I'm noticing is I feel like because
Oleum, Lila nap, most of the time at different times or
they'll overlap a little bit. I used to have what felt like a
lot more time on my hands with just one to be able to like get
out and go for a walk. Like if Ali was I knew going to
have an awake window for like two and a half hours.
I could jump in the car and go for a walk or pop him in the The
carrier and go for a walk and I can't really do that now.
All he doesn't like this prayer many more which is fair enough,
he's two and a half. So I kind of can't really go for
a walk walk with him. I could maybe go like down the
end of the street but it's not the point of for me, going for a
walk is clearing my head space and it's my mindset refresh.
So that's something that I have found really challenging because
getting out in the fresh air was something that really, really
drastically improved. My mental health after I had Ali
and it's something that I am finding a lot more difficult
this time around. So even if for me at the moment,
it's just like popping our picnic blanket outside on the
grass, and taking the kids outside, and that's my fresh air
for the day. I'm really, really mindful of
that and really enjoying that. And I also find the kids, a lot
of the time. If they like having some
meltdowns inside, they're a lot happier outside as well.
And it's just like change of scenery, get some fresh air, all
that kind of stuff. What else am I enjoying?
I have the most Full group of mom friends and it's such a
mixture of all these original mother's group, my new mothers
group. Some beautiful women that I've
met along the way through those beautiful friendships that I've
created as well. And of course, my original
friends that have children themselves that I now have a
whole brand new appreciation for I just and loving my mum
friends. I'm absolutely loving my
girlfriend's, as well. Again, my original girlfriend
group like we just, I don't know.
I just Feeling so grateful for my friendships that I have in my
life at the moment. Maybe because I feel like I have
been so busy and bogged down with work and the kids that
rather than quantity time with my friends, it's quality time.
And so I really again I feel like this is a running theme and
exactly why I did that podcast episode last week and that topic
is I'm just so much more Mindful and present and intentional when
I'm spending time with my friends, because it does feel so
rare at the Want to be able to do that.
What are some other things? I'm enjoying all, I am doing
coaching sessions for myself and oh my God, it has been
absolutely without a doubt, the most life-changing thing I've
ever done and I know I said that about coaching sessions like
before I had Ali but it's probably the first time in the
last probably three years since I was pregnant with Ali that
I've really prioritized my personal development for myself.
That's not doing something like studying or just reading a book
like Actually really deep diving into coaching sessions and it
has been so transformational the things that I have worked
through is like stuff that I didn't even know has been just
sitting there. So it's just been so interesting
and like, you guys know I'm so passionate about this stuff
anyway, and I love being able to do this with my clients, but to
actually be able to prioritize myself and give myself the space
to work with a coach to do this too.
Is just The best thing that I could have done for my mental
health issue. Something else I'm really
enjoying is just having a really, really simple and basic
morning routine, but again, being really intentional with
it, so I get up. If Lila has already awake, I'll
give her a feed and then pop it back down in her cot and then I
will have a shower. I have a really nice body wash
that I use and I give my face a really, really nice cleanse and
then I get out and I do my skincare and I really love doing
my skincare. That's like myself Care for me
in the mornings. If I'm feeling like it'll pop a
podcast podcast on, maybe I might listen to like this quiz
so that I can update myself with just like news and what's
actually been happening in the world, because a lot of the
other podcast I've been listening to lately are very
much like what's the word that I'm trying to think of like pop
culture and just like kind of not nothing podcast.
But you know, it's not like information heavy podcast be and
I'm just, I'm really loving it. I think because I'm feeling
quite over stimulated and overwhelmed in like All day
today. So my pop culture podcasts are
like, let's just switch my brain off and just have some fun and
listen to something really light-hearted.
So yeah, and that is literally my morning routine, if the kids
are still not awake after I've done that or do my workout in
the morning and that's a 28-minute transform work out
with feeders, which I'm still obsessed with.
I'll talk about actually being sick in, just a minute and talk
about working out and stuff like that and what my healthy habits
of looked like but speaking of podcasts, As well.
So podcast, I've been listening to that.
You would have probably already heard me talking about but just
in case you're new here or you haven't heard me talking about
other podcasts that I like to listen to before.
So my pop culture e ones is, so dramatic Shameless outspoken and
life uncut. So they're probably my top
listen to ones at the moment. Just because like I said,
they're just really light-hearted and fun, but I
also got really addicted to these two crime podcasts.
I was already talking about, Teacher's pet before I had my
little podcast Hiatus and I just, I'm so obsessed with that
podcast. I just can't get enough of it,
but that also led me on to listening to another podcast
that is created by the Australian which is chandi
story. And I'm really, really invested
in this podcast. I'm probably about 3/4 of the
way through and I just really enjoy like, having a bit of a
storyline to follow and having my own life.
Opinions or perspectives on what I think happened.
Yeah, I don't know. It's just, I love it.
I kind of pop my ear pods in when I am cooking dinner, if
it's like a bit noisy or all, he's got one of his TV shows on
that. I don't like, I'll put my ear
pods in and just like cook dinner, and listen to one of
those episodes or clean the house and listen to that.
And I love it. I also really enjoy our catch
Killers with Gary jubilant. He does some really, really
interesting interviews. Very much crime related.
He is a Detective in the Australian federal police.
So super interesting with that. Something else.
I'm really enjoying is just absolute nothing family.
Time on Sundays, like, Sunday's is our day that we try and not
book anything in Saturday's is generally busy ish because we've
got all these swimming. And most of the time we'll have
something after that. We might go and catch up with a
friend or have like I don't know, an event or like a
birthday party or something on Sundays.
We try to keep free and we just are really enjoying at the
moment, like getting up. Up.
Going down to the Waterfront and like, grabbing a coffee, or a
hot chocolate. Great, getting an egg and bacon,
roll for breakfast. Ali takes his bike down, and we
just get out of the house, again.
I think it's just that fresh air, and then we're just like,
okay, what do we want to do? Am I going to be doing like the
meal planning and meal prepping? Do I do a click and collect
order? Like, do we have a little picnic
this afternoon, just very chill and quality time with the kids
and I'm loving it. The very last thing that I'm
Leave really enjoying and that I've really gotten back into and
I'm totally obsessed with these reading and I have a books
highlight over on my Instagram. So I actually won't go into too
much detail, the books that I've been reading recently that I've
been really really loving because it's all over on that
highlight and it'll take me forever I think I'm up to book
like 25 for this year already and it's only March.
So yeah, I just have found that I'm watching less and less TV
because Cuz I'm really intrigued in the stories that I'm reading
in the books that I'm reading. I'm very much a fiction girl.
So all of the like not true stories, they're like chick lit,
the like kind of romance. I've recently gotten into the
Thriller side of things actually.
One that I will mention is verity by Colleen Hoover.
If you have not read that. I mean I'm guessing you probably
have because it's been everywhere for the last like two
years. But again, I was To the
bandwagon and I could not put it down.
I think I read it in like two days.
But yeah, go and check out the Instagram highlight if you're
after some new books to read. And yeah, that's about it for
what I've been enjoying something that I have been
really trying to focus on is prioritizing myself only in the
last probably week and a half, because I've been really, really
sick. I thought daycare bugs were
going to be finished after a year of Ali being a day care
last year. They're not, they are back with
absolute Vengeance. It's been about seven weeks that
are in, and I have both been really sick for.
We didn't get tested for it, but RSV was going around the
daycare, we had gastro twice, we got the flu.
It just has not been an enjoyable time in our household
to the point where I actually said to my code to the other
day. I feel like our house needs a
cleanse because the vibe is just not.
It's just not a Vibe at our house at the moment.
So I found also that because I was so sick.
I didn't have an appetite, I just wasn't feeling well at all.
I had no energy Lila went through her 4 month regression
which she's now 8 months old and it's been four months that she
has not been sleeping well. For she was teething, she went
through a regression. She was teething now she's in
her eighth month regression. It's just I've been so
sleep-deprived and it was really kind of just before this that I
started to get get clear on my postnatal depression as well.
So I just feel like it was just one thing after the other for
probably the last like three or four months really and it just
all started to pile up and felt like a lot, and I just fell into
some bad habits. I wasn't eating.
Well, I was back into that habit of just like eating The
Leftovers of what was like on all these played or what Lila
hadn't eaten. I wasn't exercising because I
literally just out there was days that I was having two naps
like I would have a more a morning nap when Lila had her
nap and I would set my alarm. It was just like 20 minutes.
I would set my alarm and then be like right what else do I need
to do for work? Because it was like my brain
just was not functioning and then I was having an afternoon
nap on some days as well and I just wasn't myself.
So I have gotten back into the last like week and a half really
focusing on me but in small ways.
So like how am I nourishing my body with every meal?
Like one of the really, really good tips that my nutritionist.
Sorry naturopath taught me last year.
Was every single meal. Like, don't worry so much about
like whole list. Like overall, what your meals
look like, because that can feel overwhelming, just focus on
every single meal. Is there something healthy or
nourishing in that meal? So like have toast if you want
to have toast or like have I don't know Cheerios or Fruit
Loops or caught, Coco Pops, whatever but add something else
into that meal as well. That is nourishing that you know
there's like good vitamins and minerals and it's replenishing,
your body with nutrients that It is lacking so that was really
something that I was like yeah I can do that.
That's just focusing on one meal at a time then.
So that's something I've gotten back into this week.
I started to move my body again and oh my God.
So I did the postpartum transform program and level 1
program before I got sick. And so when I was like, I want
to get back into moving my body. Again, I'm actually feeling like
I've got energy and I'm feeling really good this week.
I was going to start level 2 and I was like, I think I'm trying
to push myself a little bit too hard.
Let's just start with level one for, like a week or two and see
how I go. And then, if I want to up it to
level 2, I'll do that. I've done two days of level 1
and literally, I could not walk properly last night when I had
to get up and go to the court to feed Lila my bum, my legs like
my arms, my shoulders just everything was hurting and it
was like this is so good like the Faction of like I'm back
into really working on becoming a stronger and healthier version
of myself is so satisfying, but also like the reassurance that
like okay, level one is enough for you, right now is also
really good. So I'm loving that I do have a
discount code for the transform program as well.
So if you're interested jump over onto my Instagram and all
my discount codes are over there in my bio for you.
I've also really been trying to focus on hydration because does
my milk supply has been so low this whole entire phase with
Lila like newborn and all the way up this last eight months or
so hydration is something that has been really really important
to me and just rest like I've really I'm not really someone
that allows myself the time to rest and not feel guilty about
it but it's something that both Aaron and I have really had to
lean into the last seven weeks and look, it was frustrating at
times but we got there something else that I've been doing to Our
ties, myself is a been booking in for regular haircuts.
Not actually getting my hair colored but I've got short hair
again and I love it. But I find that it gets quite
irritating quite quickly because I don't like it when it starts
to, like, tuck into the back of my collars and things like that.
So, I've been booking in probably once, every two months
to get a trim, and it's just like, there's just something
about seeing a haircut booked in for your week and like, I might
stop in and get like a decaf coffee on the way, or like
myself. A cup of tea and drink that in
my car, on the way there, I might just go in like listen to
a podcast and go and sit down at the waterfront or at the beach
after I finish for like 10 minutes and then go back home.
It's just it's my time, you know.
And something else that I did two weekends ago because I
really did not feel like doing our meal planning and food
shopping was. I went and got my nails done so
I went and sat down. I got a pedicure and I did all
of my meal planning I took my notebook.
Did my whole click and collect shop and I just felt like this
is time for me, but it's also doing things that I'm finding
really monotonous at the moment that I don't want to do.
So that is actually called habit stacking and look like I'm not
going to go and spend my money on getting my nails done every
single week so that I can be doing something that feels good
and getting tasks done that I can't be bothered doing but it's
just like a little treat yourself thing every now and
then you know, so I really enjoyed that What else have I
been doing? I've been identifying, what I
feel is lacking and taking action like actually doing
something about it. So I feel like I just been
really trying to be responsible for me.
I guess is the best way that I can explain it.
I just think I realized like you know, Aaron started his own
business and he's so busy like he's out doing quotes nearly
every afternoon and When he gets home, he's got to actually like
do all the figures for them, draw them up, get back to
people, chase up companies. Like it's just, he has so much
going on that. I realized, like I was relying
on him for so much, especially when I was really struggling
with my mental health. So I think it's been really
important for me just to try to be responsible for me and not
rely on other people to fix things, you know, like actually
kind of Ian or what can I do here?
What would feel good for me in this instance?
So that's been really, really great.
I guess following on from that my postnatal depression,
diagnosis and anxiety which you know I think looking back at it
is probably something that I struggled with with Ali as well
without actually probably being diagnosed and putting a label on
it. And I don't know that I can
really pinpoint the exact moment that I that things started to go
downhill for me again after I had had Lila, but I think it's
just, it was just such a combination of things for me.
Like, going back into that sleep deprivation.
All he was only 19 months old when Lila was born and I think
it was just such a huge shift for him.
So trying to hold the emotional space for him to navigate that
and the changes that were happening in our household as
well. As I wasn't able to breastfeed
Lila for the Three weeks of her life.
Because we'll what we have found out is that she has a tongue
time. We know that now, but I didn't
know that at the time and it was excruciating to feed her like
I'm talking worse than childbirth.
And I am not over exaggerating when I say that.
So there was just a lot to be navigating in the first like
month or two of Lila's life, which I found very difficult and
just the general like the general holding space of other
people's emotions. And trying to learn how do I
navigate toddler feelings and emotions?
What's the language that I should be using around all of
their sin? Oh my gosh.
It's just, it just felt like a lot.
And I noticed. So the things that I started to
notice Within Myself, the biggest thing for me was, I was
not looking forward to Christmas.
I didn't even care that it was going to be Christmas.
And I started to notice this in about, like, October definitely
in November. If, you know me, personally, you
will know, I am. Christmas is my the best time of
the year like, you can he how I talk about it?
Now, like I get excited thinking about Christmas this year and
it's only March like, I fucking love Christmas.
I just the vibe the whole, like II, start our Christmas
decorations in October, because I want that vibe to hang around
in my house and in, within me for as long as possible, like,
give me the Christmas music. If I'm in a bad mood, Mood I'll
put on my Christmas music playlist.
Like Christmas is my time of year.
I love catching up, I love the connection with friends, I love
the connection with my family. It's probably the only time in
the year that I really get quality time with everybody in
my family and extended family and I'm obsessed, I love it.
So yeah, I wasn't, I didn't care that it was Christmas.
I wasn't looking forward to it. I wasn't listening to Christmas
songs. I just that was with the Moment
for me where I was like I think something might be off because
this is very unlike me. It's was very uncharacteristic
following on from that, I just noticed like I just I didn't
feel happy and I also got to the point that I was like I actually
don't know how to feel happy again.
I was trying all of my tools I was doing my coaching sessions
like but it just I was in this funk and it felt like I was just
under water and I could not get back up.
I was crying at least 10 times every single day and I'm not
even over exaggerating the smallest of things.
Now when I look back at it would just hit me over the edge.
I was so emotional. I was sad all the time.
I was taking everything. Personally, I was so insecure.
I was a shell of me and I started to talk about it with
Aaron a like about a week before.
I went to the doctors and he was like, look, I haven't really
known how to talk to you about this and I know you had a really
hard time after Ali and I was hoping that it would pass, but I
don't know how to help you. I don't know what to do.
Like, you need to tell me how to help you, because I don't know.
And I just, I broke down. And I said, I don't know, I'm
trying so many things and I feel like I've been trying for months
now and I cannot get myself out of this and I think I need to go
to the doctors one of Of my beautiful amazing best friends
had actually encouraged me because she noticed that she was
feeling similar ish and she was probably the turning point for
me. She gave me a phone call and she
said, Amy, you need to go to the doctor.
This has been life changing for me, and I'm on medication and I
think that it might help you to and I am so grateful to her for
saying that to me, because it was probably the first moment
that I actually thought. Okay, maybe I will, I don't
know, I feel like I had a bit of a stigma in my mind like I work
in the mental health space. This is what I help my clients
with. I shouldn't be struggling with
this because I'm a coach, you know?
So I think it just hadn't crossed my mind until she
mentioned and then I went on to the panda website and I did the
questionnaire that they have on their the quiz and it literally
like all signs were pointing to like it's within your best
interest to go and have a chat with your GP and see if you have
some options that you can look into.
And I just found I was the Ellie mum.
Like I was yelling at the smallest of things and I just I
don't want to be that person for my children, you know.
I want to be able to show up for them and hold space and I'm not
saying that I never yell now and that I don't get angry and that
I don't have those big feelings and emotions.
But what I am saying is that with the help of medication and
continual coaching sessions and working on my mental health and
my self development, that I have a lot of different Tools in my
tool kit now that I'm actively using and Medicaid, And for me,
has helped me to think more clearly and to be a more
level-headed and grounded version of myself so that I can
more actively use the tools that I have in my talk here.
So I hope that makes sense. Let me know if you have any
other questions. Like if there's specific
questions, that people want me to ask.
I can do a actual separate episode about that.
But apart from that Aaron, and I are going really well now, But
same very similar to after we had Ali we really had to
redefine and communicate our boundaries.
We had to get clear individually on what our boundaries are, what
we need from each other and as individuals and navigating like
what that actually looks like, what self-care looks like for
both of us and what time with our friends and time to just
like recharge. Looks like for us, I think
that's been the absolute biggest thing that we've both had to get
really clear on because if we don't Have that time to recharge
for ourselves individually. We just do not get on and we're
just like at each other's throats because our cups are
empty. So, that's been a really big
thing. We've both had to really work on
our time management and our priority management with both of
us being back at work and really busy with like I was saying
before my clients and my admin and my content creation.
But then for Aaron, like he's quoting and he's like day-to-day
work and like scheduling and Nothing.
It's just it's been a lot for both of us and, you know, like,
relationships are always going to be a work in progress, but I
feel like we're kind of out the other side of the struggles that
we were having a little bit over the previous few months.
And I think that also just comes with feeling more comfortable in
our own routines and like Lila slotting in a little easier now,
like, she's not a newborn. She's got her own kind of
routines happening now that we're a little more comfortable,
weird. So yeah, I remember after I had
Ali, Was around this eight-month period that I did start to feel
like, oh my gosh, like I've got these, I can do this.
Like, I really started to feel a lot more confident within myself
as a mum and a person. Again, I started to get my
identity back a little bit more as well, so I feel like now
Lila's around that eight month, period.
I think, Aaron. And I both individually and
together are starting to feel that Vibe again with Lila, too,
which is really nice but something that I did want to
recommend that has been life-changing.
I'm not finished it yet, but I got recommended Bye.
Beautiful friend of mine is a book called how to not hate your
husband after kids, it's by JC done or June done, I think it is
and it is so good. If you're not into reading
books, I haven't been able to find it as an audiobook but she
has done some podcast interviews.
So if you search JC done in podcasts, you will find some
interviews with her and she'll explain and I actually think
she'll probably convince you to go and buy the book.
I'm probably about halfway through.
And it's just really good talking about conflict
resolution. She talks a lot about the mental
load, the invisible, mental load like life, has a mom and why
that can feel overwhelming overstimulating.
Basically, everything from my mum rage Series.
So if you feel like you resonated with my mum rage
podcast series that I did, I probably think that that book
will resonate with you as well. So it's called how to not hate
your husband after kids, and it's awesome.
What I have found though is, I really especially after doing
these really deep. Dive coaching sessions lately
like my kids at the moment are my biggest teachers, like, they
mirror my triggers and as uncomfortable as that has been
it's just I feel like I'm doing so much work on myself at the
moment that I do. Now.
Find it powerful and I've got find it really interesting.
Now, when I'm getting triggered, whereas Like, a few months ago
it was just like, oh my God, I'm just exploding multiple times a
day and I cannot deal. Now that I'm noticing and I
understand why some of these things are my triggers.
It's really, really interesting, so internally, yes, I'm still
feeling triggered but my reactive behaviors are so much
less. And I just feel like I'm
probably also just feeling a bit more comfortable in holding that
space for big feelings, and toddler feelings with Ali, and
learning to navigate that like, Don't know.
It's always going to be a work in progress, I suppose.
But yeah, I guess like updates on the kids, all these two and a
half now. So I guess he's like your
typical like in quotations like two year old, he's got some
very, very big feelings and we're just trying to work
through that and it is a work in progress.
Every single day. He's going through a very big
mummy preference at the moment which is I hope starting to die
down a little bit now. But yeah, that's been
interesting to navigate. He's very big on being
independent, so he loves to make his own decisions, he wants to
do everything himself again, it's all the typical
two-year-old things. But on top of that, he's just so
funny. Like he's hilarious.
His little voice, his little sayings, his little quirks that
he has. He has such an imagination now.
He's really into imaginative play and pretend play, which I
Find so cute and just like, I don't know.
It's just like you are actually a human like a tiny little human
and it's so cool. He's bedtime routine is
definitely still a work in progress.
He has gone from you guys. If you have heard me talk
previously about his sleeping, a really big struggle when he was
young until he was 9 months old. And then we actually work with a
Sleek consultant, which was the best fucking thing we ever did
in our lives. And He went instantly sleeping
through the night until he was about one and a half, maybe two.
And the last six months has just been really rough.
Really, really rough again, with that Independence and just like,
I think needing less sleep as well and just also realizing
like there's a world outside of me now.
Like I don't just go to sleep in the world, doesn't stop that.
Mom and Dad are still awake. I still want to be spending
time. I still want to be doing things
like yeah. So That's a lot and he's eating
has also really changed a lot. So he used to pretty much eat
anything that I made him which was absolutely amazing.
And I think I took that for granted because I didn't realize
how much it was going to change. Like, there's some nights he
just will refuse. Absolutely refuse to even eat
dinner at all. And there was like, I think
three or four nights in a row that he did that last week and I
was like, are you not hungry? Like I don't understand.
So I definitely find that frustrating myself.
I'm like, I just made you this food like it's like, I don't
know, I guess the triggering. Me finds a little bit
disrespectful and a little bit frustrating.
I'm like I just spent this time making this for you and you're
not going to eat it but then the mom side of me and like the
toddler mum learning side of me knows that this is all normal
and I'm trying to work around it and work with it.
Yeah. I don't know.
I guess like I don't really want to share too much about my kids.
I know I do share a lot of things like with my life.
On like Instagram and Tick-Tock and on my podcast.
But you know, I'm worried that they're going to be their own
people and they're going to listen to these things and
probably watch these things back when they get older.
So I think that's enough of an update with Ali.
Lila. Lots and lots of questions
around Lila and like just basically in the whole last 8
months, her breastfeeding Journey.
Like I was mentioning was really rough at the start and I was
exclusively pumping for three weeks, we had a lactation
consultant appointment. So Lila actually had a racist
jaw when she was first born, which is why she couldn't feed
properly. And now we also know she has a
tongue tied. That's only been a recent thing
that we've learned. So we're working on that but it
just makes a lot of sense around.
Why are breastfeeding Journey? This time around has been so
difficult and so different to Ali's.
I basically only breastfeed her now overnight and Nate maybe
sometimes, but it's definitely been dropping off the first feed
in them. Mornings apart from that, she is
Formula feeding and having bottles and she is absolutely
thriving. But don't get me wrong.
It was a very, very big mental challenge for me to get my head
around that I think because there was so much comparison
coming up for me with my breast, feeding Journey with Ali, and he
never took a bottle. He just never wanted to not for
lack of trying, and he was just an absolute boob monster.
And I think that set my expectations, Chen's that the it
was just going to be the same with Lila and it has not been
the case at all. I have had not really much of a
letdown for months now and I think that's been really
difficult for Lila as well and like they're just different
babies. Like they're just different and
that has been a lot for me to understand as well and to really
start to be like okay like I see what everyone means now.
When they say every baby is different, it's so true like her
sleep. I can literally Pop her down for
her naps. During the day, she has a dummy
again, Ali never really took a dummy wasn't interested.
I can pop her in her court with her dummies and her little
comforter with the dummies tied to it.
So, she always knows where they are.
And she will literally roll over.
Grab her dummy, put it in her mouth and she's asleep.
Ali never like, never the self settling.
I had to do with him, the self settling.
I had to do to try and get him to link his sleep cycles.
Just like absolute worlds apart. And it's not, I have not done
anything different with Lila. It just is really simply the
fact that all babies and children are different.
And yeah, she just like sleep more than Ali did even with her
regular night wakes. Now, she's waking probably three
or four times a night. That's nothing.
Compared like Ali was 12 or 13 times a night.
When we had this lead consultant with him so you know, she's not
sleeping great. And yes, she's in another
aggression and she's been teething But in comparison to
Ali, it's really fine in saying that we are going to be putting
her into her own room. So we're still renovating the
house. We're getting very close.
We're probably. I would say a bit more than
three quarters of the way done. Now, which is really exciting.
And her room is not completely finished yet, which is why we
haven't moved her into her own room yet.
So we're going to be working on that over the next few weeks.
And we're going to transition her and her own room and see how
that goes. And if she's still not sleeping
through the night, Then we'll be looking into getting that same
sleep consultant again. So for those that Wonder because
I do get asked about this a lot as well.
We used Mary and Sayers so you can find her.
She's got a website. You can find her on Facebook.
I'm not sure if she's on Instagram but she just
absolutely changed our world with Ali and his sleep.
And I cannot wait to have a night that I sleep through the
night. Although Ali might throw a
little bit of a spanner in the works with that because he
hasn't been sleeping through the night again either, but that's
okay. We're We're working with it feel
like that's just like my life motto in the moment at the
moment is like I'm working with it or let's just roll with it.
Like I don't know. I just think what has come with
my second time around and second baby is just really embracing
the fact that like this is only a phase.
This is going to pass. There is going to be a time.
When Lila does sleep through, there is going to be a time when
Lolly is not scared of the dark, and he is sleeping through.
And, you know, just all of these different things that we're
going through as frustrating as they can feel.
And in the moment I know that they are going to pass and I
think that's just like mud that motto that I keep trying to
remind myself of life. I'm just rolling with it.
Like I'm just going with it and just going to see what happens.
It's just helped me to feel a lot more relaxed.
I think as a mum and just a lot less anxious and a lot less
paranoid about things. But yeah, I feel like look guys,
that's like 45 minutes of me rambling about my life and my
life updates. I hope that there's been some
things. In this episode that you have
found interesting. At least maybe there's been a
few little things that you feel like you want to start doing for
yourself like reading having a really simple morning routine.
I don't know. Maybe there's some things that
you have found interesting or enlightening around postnatal
depression or doing some things for you.
That feel really good for you. Let me know.
I will pop. If you're listening on Spotify,
I'll pop a question box up as well as you're listening so that
you can answer any so that you can ask any questions and I can
get back to you. Some answers as well, which is a
new feature on Spotify, which is very cool.
So I'm going to start to try and make my podcast a little more
interactive for you as well, so that it just makes them a little
bit more fun, and I hope you have a beautiful morning,
lunchtime evening. Whatever time it is that you're
listening to this episode and I will talk to you very soon.
Bye, if you liked this episode, I would love for you to
screenshot and tag me on Instagram.
You guys have no idea how much that absolutely makes.
It's my day. I get such a big smile on my
face. Thank you so much for hanging
out with me today and I hope that you have got them something
from this episode. If you want to hang out more you
can search the nourishing, Amy podcast community in Facebook
and come and join our group. We're talking all things life,
love overwhelm and everything in between, you can share your
funny, memes your stories and all of the life stuff, if you
would like to get in contact with me, please don't hesitate
to reach out and shoot me a message on Instagram.
Going to find me at a me underscore Rankin.
Last but not least. It really helps to support my
podcast. When you subscribe and leave a
review on whatever app it is, that you listen to this podcast
on, I am just a little independent podcaster and every
subscriber and review helps my podcast to be seen and heard by
more people and to help more people get their Sparkle back.
Thank you again so much for being with me and have a
fantastic day.