Welcome to the nourishing. Amy podcast.
I'm Amy Rankin. I am an emotional intelligence
and life coach as Speaker, a Creator, and a wellness.
Chaser, I have created this podcast for you to learn how
'but mindset changes and get really actionable.
Takeaways to find out who you are, what lights you up, how you
can love yourself again and how to live your best life.
Give yourself the space to welcome in more self-care and
Parents reduce feelings like overwhelm and stress and let
find your sparkle again. Are you ready?
Let's do it. Hello and welcome to episode 100
of the nourishing. Amy podcast, how cool that we're
on 100 episodes. And it is thanks to you.
So thank you to every single one of you for listening.
I'm just so happy to be here and I just love chatting with you
guys and receiving all of your messages and screenshots and
things like that over on Instagram and shares and all the
fun stuff. So, Thank you for making this
possible. It's all about you, and it's all
because of you now. This is kind of fitting.
So, episode 100 bit of a celebration.
But also, if you are listening to this, when this episode
drops, it is the week before Christmas, which is like my
favorite time of year. So it's very fitting and I'm
also doing a Christmas themed or holiday themed episode today.
So, I just feel like all of the stars are aligning.
Its really working. Well, today to start off with,
I'm going to give you my recommendation.
Before I jump into the topic at hand, my recommendation.
It's a festive one. I thought I might as well keep
it in theme for you, if you haven't seen the Christmas
Chronicles on Netflix, it's just such a nice, feel good,
Christmas movie, and the guy that plays Santa Remember his
name, and I should have researched it for you guys
before I gave it as a recommendation.
But the actor that plays Santa he's just so wholesome.
It's just such a nice movie. And I think there's actually two
Christmas Chronicles movies on Netflix.
We watched one of them last year and I loved it.
So I'm actually going to make a point of having a bit of a movie
night over the weekend, getting some popcorn and watching it
again because I mean as cliche as it is.
It is the season right now, today's topic that I'm actually
going to be talking with you guys about is how to enjoy the
holiday season because there can be a lot of different feelings
that can be coming up over the holiday season for a lot of us
that can be overwhelmed, stress and burnout and I posted a
mindset reframe over on my Instagram on Monday just as a
little bit of a reminder for everybody.
Myself included. That we can really get caught up
in our mindset of like, oh my gosh, it's so busy or like, oh,
I got so much in my calendar. I'm feeling really overwhelmed
or I'm so stressed at the moment and really that kind of feeling
of like running from one thing to the next to the next and how
that can make us feel. And so my reframe that I used
was even though I have a lot on, I still have the ability to
remain calm and balanced. Just or come and present.
And I had so many people respond saying like, oh my gosh thank
you so much for sharing this. I really needed this.
My DMs were yeah, going crazy on Monday.
So I felt like perfect timing to be sharing this episode because
as much as we love this season, and this period of the year,
like I said, it can feel a bit overwhelming.
We can lead to burnout and if I'm going to be honest, I have
just been Being so incredibly busy with work.
And all of the things that come with that, all of the different
aspects that come into everything that I do for work
that I burnt myself out this week or because of, you know,
pushing my own boundaries if we touch back on our last podcast
episode in that Monday motivation and I obviously
wasn't taking my own advice, and I really got to burn out
yesterday. I was an absolute emotional
wreck, which is not Normally like me, like I'm normally
emotional but I'm not normally crying at the drop of a hat like
multiple times a day. So that was really my trigger
point, on my warning point to say like, hey, you've really
pushed it a bit too far in the last few weeks and it's time to
just resent her. If that is you and you're
feeling like you're at that point or you're getting towards
that point that you're like, oh my gosh, I'm just feeling burnt
out, like I'm pushing. Through the overwhelm and the
stress and I'm just like head down bum, up, trying to get
everything done and focusing on everyone else and everything
else around you. This is going to be a really
good episode for you but also take this as a little reminder
that you also are just as important as everybody else in
your life and it's important for you to give back to yourself
that time, that energy, that emotion, that presence that.
That you give everybody else and that effort that you're putting
in with everybody else. You also deserve to be giving
that to yourself as well at times so that you are also
filling up your own cup because we know the classic saying you
cannot pour from an empty cup. So first of all, I want to talk
about holiday burnout and what holiday burnout actually is
because it is a term. So I want to talk about what
that is and how you might recognize that coming up for you
then I'm Talk about some different mindsets that we can
get stuck in that can be leading to us contributing to our own
burnout or overwhelm and also some things that you can be
doing, so that you feel less overwhelmed and less burnt out.
Now, this is part of a workshop that I'm running with bu
happiness College. Which of course, you guys will
know, is where I work and who I like, where I do all of my
one-on-one coaching sessions through and things like that.
So I've done a few of these little episodes, which you guys
seem to really enjoy. I get some really great feedback
from them over on Instagram, giving you guys a little sneak
peek into some of the workshops that I run with bu so that you
guys can kind of see, like a water.
It's all about what coaching with me would be.
Like, of course, we have the one-on-one component with our
coaching sessions, but we also have these workshops that we do
every week between Declan and Jess and myself.
And How to enjoy the holiday season is actually a workshop
that I am running next week with my clients.
So let's jump in and have a look at what holiday burnout actually
is. Because it's interesting when I
was researching for this Workshop, I didn't even realize
that it is actually like it is actually a thing and
psychologists have studied this. So holiday burnout is feeling
overwhelmed by the perceived extra demands and expectations
associated. With preparation for and
celebration of the holiday season.
And I feel like for me when I read that I was like, oh yeah,
that perfectly explains and really embodies, I guess how I
have been feeling over the last few weeks over the last month or
so. So let's have a look at why.
Holiday burnout actually happens, though, the interesting
thing that I found there and I think the key word You guys will
know, I'm very big on language and the different words that we
use that can change how we feel. And I think the most important
word in that whole description there, that I gave is feeling
overwhelmed by the perceived extra demands perceived is the
key word there. Because what that is actually
telling us is you are creating your own reality by what you are
perceiving is happening around. Around you or by the reality
that you are trying to create for yourself.
So when we look at it in that respect, we really start to
bring that responsibility back to ourselves of hang on a
second. What are the expectations that I
am putting on myself? How am I burning myself out by
what I'm perceiving? I should be living up to at this
period of time. So why does Holiday burnout
happen realistically? It's Weakly just from taking on
too much. It's taking on too many
responsibilities because of that perceived pressure from others
or also your own expectations. Like what are the expectations
that you're setting on yourself at the moment?
If these can be things like an overloaded social calendar,
especially things like lockdown, finishing up, and things like
that for us only kind of, recently, as well.
And overloaded social calendar, at this time of year can be
Aiming enough, let alone for some of us being in lockdown for
five, six seven, nine months to then be moving into.
Boom, straight away and overloaded social calendar.
It's a lot. Like there's a lot of
socializing. There's a lot of energy that
goes outwards of ourselves when we're seeing people that we
haven't seen for a little while, catching up with groups of
people for some people that can feel quite overwhelming in
itself because it's that extra energy being put out words of
yourself that For some of us months went past that we won't
exerting that extra energy. And we can also look at a
combination of. So yes, that overloaded social
calendar but also things like gift-giving shopping
entertaining, decorating meeting work deadlines before the end of
year and just in general, living up to those expectations that
you are setting on yourself. Because if we're going to be
realistic here, no one else is setting those expectations on
your life. But you so this can also So be
compiled combined, sorry with potential family and
relationship conflicts. Maybe there's a mismatch in what
you think the holiday season should look and feel like so
what I mean by that is, you know, we have this expectation
sometimes of what we think Christmas should look like or
the holiday period should look like and we might set that
expectation based on what we see societally.
What we see in movies, He's and TV shows what we see friends and
maybe other family members doing.
And then we set these expectations in our mind of like
this is what my life or my day should be looking like at the
moment in this season of the year and we want to then really
reassess and get clear on what are these expectations that I'm
setting on myself and are they realistic because expectations,
Can be a good thing. They can help us to be setting
goals whether they're small goals or big goals.
At this time of year, they can help us to be taking action on
those goals into be achieving those goals.
So, all of those things can be great but we want to look at.
Also the limitation side of this where it's like is the
expectation bar that I'm setting on myself.
So high that I feel like I'm not in meeting those expectations
and then I'm essentially creating these feelings like
overwhelmed, like Stration like feeling disappointed with
myself. And these are feelings that we
don't want to be feeling not just at this time of the year
but really any time of the year. So we want to be clear on what
are the expectations I'm setting on myself.
What are these things that I'm also potentially bringing in
like overloading my calendar like going above and beyond with
the gift-giving, the shopping, the decorating and just having
these generalized ideas in my mind of what I think life should
look like what? I think relationships should
look like at the moment what I should be doing and is there a
mismatch in the reality of what life looks and feels like at the
moment that is leading me to be feeling some type of way.
Some type of feelings that might be coming up for you.
So there's a few different factors that can come in here.
I want to talk about three different factors that are
playing a part here. So Factor 1, Is over-committing.
Now, this can look like either saying yes to others those
automatic yeses that we look at that.
It's like someone asks you to do something, whether it's catching
up for a coffee, having some Christmas drinks, having a
friend get together, whatever it is, it might be setting an extra
deadline at work and it's those automatic yeses that come in
without really thinking about do I actually have the time the
energy The space available to do this thing.
Do I actually want to do this thing?
So we've got saying yes to others, whoever that is and
those automatic gases that come in with Factor, one of our
committing. The other thing we have is
overloading your calendar and it's funny.
I actually put a quote up on Instagram the other day.
Let me just jump on really quickly and I'll read it out for
you with regards to overloading your calendar.
So my quote was don't confuse your Are time with being
available. And what I mean by that is and
it had such a great rate of Engagement.
I had a lot of people saving that one, which means it's
obviously resonating and that there's people that are wanting
to come back to that and keep that, as a reminder for
themselves, don't confuse you having a block of spare time in
your calendar. If there is any as you actually
being available, Having that as space to be able to say yes to
someone or something else, just because you might have a spare,
I don't know. 10 minutes, 15 minutes.
Maybe our few hours in your calendar, doesn't mean that you
need to fill that with something.
Maybe what you actually need to do is fill that with nothing
space for yourself. So, we've got Factor 1, which is
over-committing. Let's have a look at factor to
that can come in here, burnout, and we've actually got Two
different types of burnout. We have our mental burnout and
we also have our physical burnout.
So, our mental burnout, we will notice coming up and you will
recognize it for you. When you're feeling quite
emotionally reactive, you might be noticing that you're feeling
a little more emotional with regards to maybe a bit more
Terry, maybe you're crying a little bit more often, maybe you
are noticing some more reactive behaviors.
Coming up for you the irritability, the snappiness,
the in general just feeling like not the best version of yourself
from time to time whether that's regularly and you're noticing it
a bit more often or whether it's just from time to time, I'm
noticing I'm a bit more Snappy and irritable, our mental
burnout comes from again, those two factors that I was
mentioning before. Saying yes, overloading, your
calendar putting in too many things, putting in a lot of
extra hours at work overloading your Moments within the
workspace within the parenting space within the socializing
space. All of these things are leading
us to mentally exerting outwards of ourselves which is fine.
Like, there's nothing wrong with doing these things but what we
want to be doing is also finding the balance of like what feels
good for me here that I'm not overloading myself and getting
myself to the point of burnout. So really thinking about what
does mental burnout --look Feel like for me, what are some
things I can be doing to prevent that?
Now other type of burnout that we have is physical burnout.
So this is for some of us that mental side and noticing the
sense of really feeling overwhelmed.
Burnt-out overly emotional, reactive behaviors coming up.
That's going to be an aspect that you really notice within
yourself, and you lean more, towards recognizing that part
coming up for you. For other people, it will really
be noticing that. You'll burn out aspect of like,
adjust my body feels exhausted and I just feel like I need to
have an app. Like I just my body needs a
break. And yeah, so we've got the
mental burnout but also that physical burnout side.
So it's really getting clear on what one of these do I notice, I
lean more towards recognizing and can I use this as a
awareness point, that? Okay, if I am feeling like
physically, My body is just exhausted or mentally.
I'm really leaning towards that overly emotional side, and
that's a real treat. These are real trigger points
for me. What can I be doing and putting
into place? And how can I recognize going
back again to last episode, where I've been pushing my own
boundaries on? What does it look like for me to
reassess and reset and get clear on what a my actual boundaries
and how can I be looking after myself, as well as everyone else
at this? Time of year.
Now my last Factor, my third factor that I have for you that
we're looking at here is comparison and expectations and
this is the classic that I know we speak about pretty regularly
here on the podcast, but it is so relevant and something that I
think we all need reminding of from time to time.
So comparison, you might notice coming up for you when you are
looking outwards of yourself on things like so.
For media, when you're looking at what friends and family
members are doing, when we are looking outwards of ourselves
and comparing to other people, we also notice comparison coming
up with comparison to ourselves to the version of ourselves that
we think that we should be at. So I should have this thing.
I should be doing this. I should.
I should I should or I need to. I need to.
I've got to I have to How are you comparing here for what your
reality is at the moment compared to where you feel like
you should be at or you need to be at and we also can look at
expectations. What are the expectations that
you are setting on your life right now, socially, career-wise
financially. What are the expectations?
You're setting on your calendar? Is there any expectations?
This is a really interesting one.
Is that any expectations that you are setting on family
members and how you think they should be acting how you want
them to be acting. That is a mismatch from what the
reality actually is. At the moment that is also
potentially leading you to feel frustrated.
Burnt-out, overwhelmed, disappointed sad.
All of these different types of things.
Expectations, especially family level or friends level
expectations. At this time of the year can be
very prevalent because we see these comparisons, or we set
these expectations based on for a lot of the time.
What Pete, what we see social media and these like perfect
families, or what we see happening in the movies or the
TV shows, we set these subconscious expectations on
ourselves and our own lives based on that.
But what that means is, we leave ourselves room.
I'm for a gap that it's like, okay, well this is what I think
I should. My life should be looking like
my relationships, my family, my friendships should be looking
like, but if they don't look like that in some way, whether
it's in small ways or big gaps, then that can feel really
off-putting and that can feel very overwhelming and upsetting
for some people. So, for some, this might not be
a thing and maybe it's not relevant for you, but for Is
this can be a huge thing that comes into play.
When we're looking at the holiday season, this can also be
really closely related to having loved ones that are not with us
anymore. And that can feel very
overwhelming and really prevalent at times like a
special or important times of the year like the holiday
period. Like when we look at things, for
example, like Mother's Day like Father's Day, like special
birthdays and all of that kind of stuff.
So we really want to get clear on what are the feelings that
are actually coming up for me here?
And how can I start to move through some of these feelings?
And one of the best ways is to really just ask yourself.
And again, I know this is something that I mentioned
really regularly, but it's just such an easily accessible tool
and mindset change. And this is what it's all about,
right? Like when we are feeling
overwhelmed and stressed and burnt out, we're not in that
brain space or that. B2B really doing these big huge
deep Dives and implementing these huge mindset habit changes
because that's just one more thing that's going to feel more
overwhelming, right? So what we really want to be
doing is thinking about what something that's easily
accessible that I can be utilizing every day.
If I feel like I need it and we are simply going to come back
to. How do I want to feel today?
And then the next question is, what can I do today to move
towards that feeling? And every day could be
different. One day you might want to feel
excited or happy or energetic, another day.
You might just want to feel calm or relaxed or just chill.
Like there is no right or wrong answers with these feelings.
It's whatever comes up for you and then it's for the second
part of that question. What can I do?
Excuse me, what can I do today to move towards that?
It's Anything, it might be that you are just setting aside, five
minutes to just do absolutely nothing and just sit on the
lounge or sit in your work chair and just put your headphones in
and just do nothing for five minutes.
Maybe it is going in catching up with a friend for coffee in that
something that's going to help you to feel more energized or
like you're feeling your cup back up.
Maybe it's getting home and having a shower and listening to
a podcast. Maybe you put your diffuser on a
light, your favorite candle and just have some me time of an
evening. Whatever it is, again, there's
no right or wrong answer but what Going to help you to feel
like you can feel your own cut back up and move towards those
feelings that you want to be feeling which in turn also moves
you away from the feelings that you don't want to be feeling.
So at the end of this Workshop, that I'm running with my
clients, of course, this is a sneak peek.
So I can't run you through the whole thing because this is just
a sneak peek into what this Workshop would be.
Like I run my clients through all a whole different Array of
steps that we can be moving towards to reduce holiday burn
out. Some of those things though, I'm
going to give you two things apart from what I just mentioned
about, checking in with yourself, feelings wise, and
simply just being aware of these other things like
over-committing like saying yes to too many things like
comparison and expectations coming up for you.
What we really want to be focusing on is just simplifying
things at the moment which is one of the things that you can
be doing. One of the tools that you can be
using, maybe that looks like disconnecting from your phone
for a little while and also the second thing that I really
encourage you to do is just to be scheduling in some nothing
time into your calendar. So exactly, like I said with
that quote before, just because you have spare time, does not
mean that you are available. It doesn't mean you need to fill
that with something. And when you're feeling burnt
out and overwhelmed and stressed, the best thing that
you can do for Self is give yourself some nothing time that
in that moment, you can just simply ask yourself what can I
do with this time? That feels good for me right
now. And you know what?
If I'm going to be honest, it's looked like just baking myself
some lunch. Like obviously, I still work at
home because I do all of my sessions from via Zoom.
So I work from home from be, it's looked like making myself
some lunch and chucking on an episode of whatever reality TV.
I'm Watching at the time, love Island, Southern Charm.
I think Max is coming back soon and just popping on an episode
of nothing TV and putting that on switching.
My brain off enjoying my lunch, for half an hour and then
jumping back into the day so nothing time doesn't have to be
fancy. It doesn't have to be, you know,
overexerting yourself and doing all of the things.
It is actually exactly what it says doing nothing.
So I hope that there's been some takeaways, maybe there's some
mindsets that you notice that you've been getting caught up in
or stuck in over the last few weeks leading up into this
holiday season. I hope that there's some
different takeaways. Maybe something that you notice
that you've been doing too much of maybe, there's something
you've been doing too little of that you can really start to
bring in at this time of year to help you to move away from
feeling overwhelmed to move away from feeling like it's just go,
go go. All of the tabs.
Open in your brain. There's like all of the things
happening and we're jumping from like the next thing to the next
thing to the next thing. Yes it is a beautiful time of
year and I want you to be feeling like you can really
Embrace this time of year and enjoy this time of year for what
it is. I hope that you have a beautiful
holiday season of course. It goes without saying, if you
have any questions or if you want to know more about anything
that I've spoken about today, please jump over into Instagram
and send me a message. And And screenshare.
If you've enjoyed this episode, share it with your friends, it
might help them to feel a little less overwhelmed and burped out
at this time of year to have a beautiful day and I will talk to
you in our next episode. If you liked this episode, I
would love for you to screenshot and tag me on Instagram, you
guys have no idea how much that absolutely makes my day.
I get such a big smile on my face.
Thank you so much for hanging out with me today and I hope
that you have got them something from this episode.
If you Hang out more. You can search the nourishing,
Amy podcast community in Facebook and come and join our
group. We're talking all things life,
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If you would like to get in contact with me, please don't
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You can find me at a me underscore Rankin.
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