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Welcome to the nourishing. 
Amy podcast. 

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I'm Amy Rankin. 
I am an emotional intelligence 

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and life coach as Speaker, a 
Creator, and a wellness. 

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Chaser, I have created this 
podcast for you to learn how 

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'but mindset changes and get 
really actionable. 

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Takeaways to find out who you 
are, what lights you up, how you

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can love yourself again and how 
to live your best life. 

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Give yourself the space to 
welcome in more self-care and 

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confidence. 
Reduce feelings like overwhelm 

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and stress and let find your 
sparkle again. 

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Are you ready? 
Let's do it. 

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Hello and welcome to episode 109
of the nourishing. 

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Amy podcast, I'm going to be 
talking to you today about how 

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to stop worrying about what 
other people think and how it 

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worrying about what other people
think of you more specifically. 

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It's a really, really common 
topic like it's a topic that 

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comes up so often with all of my
clients it's definitely 

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something that I also know that 
I experienced personally. 

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So this is also Another one of 
the workshops that I ran with bu

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happiness college. 
So, if you listened to the last 

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podcast episode on 
procrastination, and how to stop

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procrastinating, you wouldn't 
know that I run these workshops 

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once a month and there with all 
of our one-on-one coaching 

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clients so they also get a group
coaching session as well. 

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These have been my to absolute 
favorite workshops to run in the

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last few months and I just feel 
like the information nation that

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I found on these when I was 
researching and studying, these 

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topics was just too good for me,
not to share it with you. 

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And I know that I had so many 
aha moments for both of these 

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topics for procrastination from 
last week. 

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But also about this one, because
I think that, especially with 

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things like social media and, 
you know, comparison really 

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being so prevalent and social 
media being such a big part of 

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our lives these days. 
I think that that can also 

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sometimes come hand-in-hand with
this idea of like, worrying 

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about what other people think of
us, just what other people are 

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thinking in general. 
And I know that that sense of 

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worry can really lead to things 
like, you know, social anxiety, 

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feeling, anxious, within 
yourself, overthinking, all of 

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that kind of stuff. 
So, this is all of the stuff 

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that I'm going to be talking 
with you guys about today, and 

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I'm really pumped. 
Now, my recommendation for you 

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for this week is a Book if you 
like reading, there is a book 

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highlight over on my Instagram, 
because I started talking about 

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a few books that I had read and 
gave a few little personal 

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perspectives are opinions on 
some of them and I had quite a 

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few messages afterwards. 
A few days later saying, where 

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did your book highlights go? 
I want to have a look and I want

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to create my own list. 
So I saved it as a highlight for

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you guys. 
There is a whole bunch of books 

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that I have read and Also, big 
list of books that I really want

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to read. 
So I'm in a few Facebook groups,

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book club, Facebook groups, and 
I kind of go through and have a 

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look at all of the different 
posts in there and create my own

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little lists of books that I 
would like to read that have 

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been recommended by people that 
also in those Facebook groups, 

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like the same kind of, like, 
genre or type of book that I 

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like, as well. 
So, there's a whole big huge 

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list over on my page. 
I I think I may have already 

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also recommended Goodreads a few
episodes ago, but if I haven't, 

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you know what I'm going to do? 
Which I thought was such a good 

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idea. 
This is such a tangent, but here

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we are. 
I was listening to an episode of

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the Shameless podcast. 
I think it was just after 

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Christmas and you guys would 
know. 

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I love Shameless, the Shameless 
girls on the Shameless podcast, 

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very pop culture podcast, but 
they were talking about one of 

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their listeners who I think she 
might have gotten a little bit 

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sick or she had Some time off 
work. 

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And she actually went through 
and listened to every single one

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of their podcast episodes and 
documented all of their 

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recommendations that they had 
ever made throughout the whole 

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history of the podcast and she 
also categorized it. 

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And there's a spreadsheet and I 
thought that's actually such a 

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good idea because some weeks I 
can't even remember what I've 

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recommended and what I haven't. 
So I think I may have 

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potentially already recommended 
good read. 

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As before, but it is an app and 
a website that you can create 

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your own account. 
And you can read like, 

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literally, like if you type in 
any book, you will be able to 

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find it and read like thousands 
and thousands of reviews on 

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books. 
They have star ratings, you can 

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create your own shelves. 
So you've got your books that 

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you want to read books that you 
have read. 

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You can set yourself a 
challenge. 

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So, say, you want to read 20 
books this year, you can set 

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yourself that challenge and it 
will give you an update and all 

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that kind of stuff. 
It's really Really good. 

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So loving my Goodreads up at the
moment and it also gives me 

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suggestions when I finish a book
it'll pop up and say here's some

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other books that are similar to 
this. 

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But anyway that's a very, very 
long tangent. 

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Way of telling you that my 
recommendation for you, this 

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week is a book by Nicholas 
Sparks and it's called The Wish.

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Now I'm a little, I don't want 
to say embarrassed but surprised

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that I have never read a nickel.
A Sparks book before I think, 

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because I know, of course, that 
he wrote The Notebook, and I 

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think like, Dear John, there's 
so so so many books that he's 

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read. 
I think I was reading yesterday.

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He's been an author for over 25 
years now and he has had 11 of 

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his books made into films, which
is crazy, like, what an 

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achievement. 
But I know that his films are 

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quite emotional and sometimes 
when I'm reading a book, I just 

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want it to be. 
Super fluffy and light hearted 

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like a little bit Carefree or a 
little bit, silly books, like, 

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say the flatshare and stuff like
that. 

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But I had seen one of my friends
recommend this over, on her 

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Instagram, a few months ago and 
I thought, you know what? 

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I'm just going to give it a go. 
She said it was a really great 

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book. 
It was so good. 

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I really was hooked. 
And it really has helped me to 

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incorporate reading regularly 
into my evening routine and 

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really helped me to get off my 
phone, which I have been 

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absolutely loving. 
So I've been making myself a 

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robust vanilla cup of Of T of an
evening and laying down in bed 

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with my book. 
And having, two rows of my 

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chocolate, my favorite chocolate
at the moment, is the clinkers 

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block by Cadbury another 
recommendation. 

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If you haven't tried that, and 
you like clinkers or dairy, milk

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chocolate, you have to try the 
clinkers Block. 

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It's so good. 
So I have two rows of that and 

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my robust vanilla tea and I've 
been reading this book and it 

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was so good. 
It like had a few twists and 

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turns at the end that I was not 
expecting. 

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I cried. 
Five times a little bit of a 

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trigger warning. 
It does discuss the Journey of 

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like their main character, she 
has cancer. 

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So it does discuss the Journey 
of somebody going through 

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cancer, but it's just, it was 
such a good book and when I 

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finished it. 
So I yeah, I did. 

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I just say, I cried 5 times, I 
don't know. 

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I can't even remember what I've 
said now. 

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But I was reading it yesterday 
and finishing it. 

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I was in the last chapter and I 
was out the back and I was 

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bawling my eyes out on out. 
Outdoor lounge. 

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And I came inside to get a 
tissue and I was like, oh my 

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God, are you okay? 
And I was like, oh my God, is 

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this book? 
It's just like really got me and

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he was like, oh my God. 
So I don't know if it's because 

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I'm hormonal and pregnant or 
because it was a very emotional 

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book, but I think Danny did also
mention that she had a few tears

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during the book as well. 
So it was just so good at 

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really, really got me roped in 
and I got so attached to the 

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characters, it was, it was 
really good. 

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So there's a few different 
recommendations for you shall 

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Shameless podcast Goodreads The 
Wish by Nicholas Sparks. 

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I'm going to go and have a look 
at a few of his other books as 

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well. 
I think like, I really enjoyed 

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that style and I think it would 
be nice to mix it up in between 

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those light-hearted books like 
the flatshare and the road trip 

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and things like that. 
And mix it up a little bit and 

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add maybe one or two of his 
books in here and there as well.

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So on to find my next book. 
Now I'll keep you updated with 

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what I find, but let's actually 
jump into The topic at hand for 

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today. 
Now I was just having a look at 

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the workbook that I created for 
this because every Workshop that

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we do, we also create a workbook
that our clients can download 

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and save and make notes in and 
all of that kind of stuff. 

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And yeah, I was like, oh my gosh
like I can't share all of this 

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information because I need to 
leave some not to the 

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imagination but I need to leave 
you guys wanting more. 

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So you want to come and do 
coaching sessions with me, 

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right? 
So yeah. 

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Yeah, I was like, oh my gosh, 
that's also relevant though. 

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What do I leave out? 
But there's a few things that I 

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will leave out for you to keep 
you hanging so that you can get 

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a taste test and really dip your
toe into what it would be like 

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to be on one of our Workshop 
calls. 

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Of course, these are normally 
live by assume every week, and 

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they're also all saved in our 
clients. 

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They have their members Hub and 
they're all saved, and they go 

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and they can re-watch these at 
any time as well, if they're not

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available live. 
So without further, Redo, as you

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would know, from last week's 
episode, I include a quote at 

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the start of every workshop, and
I am so obsessed with this 

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quote, so, so obsessed with it. 
I think it really differentiated

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the difference between caring 
about what other people think, 

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and then also valuing what other
people think. 

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And I was like, whoa, this is 
like a bit of a mind-blowing 

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moment for me. 
I've never really thought about 

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it. 
Like this before. 

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So the quote is, there is a 
difference between caring about 

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what others think and worrying 
about it. 

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Whether you care, what other 
people think you respect and 

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value, sorry. 
When you care about what other 

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people think, you respect and 
value their opinion. 

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When you worry about it you 
depend on their validation for 

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your worth. 
So keep caring, keep treating. 

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People like they matter just 
know that you matter to whether 

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they can Confirm it or not. 
Like I actually have Goosebumps 

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again rereading that because I'm
just like, it really creates 

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that difference and that 
differentiation and the part 

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that I really liked was that 
section there where it says, 

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when you care about what other 
people think you respect and 

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value their opinion. 
When you worry about it, you 

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depend on their validation for 
your worth. 

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And for me it was like, oh wow, 
I can actually see examples of 

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times when yes, I've cared about
what other people. 

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People think but it's because I 
respect their opinions. 

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I value their opinions and their
perspectives. 

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And I want to take that on board
as like, a constructive 

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conversation or a constructive 
perspective. 

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Whereas, when you're worrying 
about it, it's really depending 

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on validation for your worth. 
And again, I think that really 

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touches on that idea of like 
social media and comparison 

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these days and all of that kind 
of stuff. 

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And then that last part is 
really beautiful. 

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So, keep caring. 
Treat. 

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Keep treating people like Matter
just know that you matter to 

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whether they confirm it or not 
like that last bit. 

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I feel like it's just the best 
mic drop moment. 

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Okay, so let's just kind of let 
that sit for a minute and think 

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about what that quote means to 
you. 

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And when you find, you can catch
yourself out. 

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Not feeling like you matter as 
much maybe feeling like you're 

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not enough. 
I know. 

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That's a very common limiting 
belief that we can carry around 

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with us and also just that 
second part there, whether they 

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confirm it or not. 
So whether you're looking for 

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that validation from other, Our 
people and looking for that 

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confirmation, that maybe a 
perspective that you have is, 

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right? 
Or your opinion is correct or 

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that you look good that your 
outfit is nice or you know that 

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your opinions perspectives are 
discussions conversations, 

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whether you are only placing 
value in them if that is 

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confirmed by other people. 
Or if you can create really 

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start to move towards creating 
that sense of identity for 

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yourself of like, I am also 
important. 

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And what I think and feel and my
opinions and perspectives and 

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and my self-worth and my value 
that I place in myself is also 

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just as important, whether that 
is confirmed by anybody else or 

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not, it's a really cool concept 
when we really start to think 

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about it. 
Because, how nice would it be to

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know within yourself, to really 
fully wholeheartedly embody, and

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believe that you do matter and 
everything about you matters, 

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you are worthy. 
You are important, your 

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opinions, your perspectives are 
important, whether it's 

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confirmed by anybody else. 
I'm not like that is so free. 

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So to start off with what I 
actually ran my clients through 

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was some patterns that can be 
learned or modeled in childhood.

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I feel like this is actually 
like, if I was going to do a 

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really big deep dive into this, 
I would do it, like, a whole 

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another podcast episode on it. 
And, you know, I actually might 

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because Is how many 1 2 3 4 5 
different patterns that I have 

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kind of described in this? 
And the reason that I went 

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through these five patterns and 
why it's important to think 

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about, okay, like what has been 
modeled to me in childhood by 

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somebody important. 
Somebody influential back when I

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was younger so you probably 
would have heard me talking 

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about those really influential 
years of creating our sense of 

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self, our value, our identity, 
Or who we are as a person, 

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really happens that first five 
to fifteen years of our life. 

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And so, when you think about 
that five to 15 age group for 

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yourself, think about activities
that you enjoyed foods that you 

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liked places that you like to go
friends, that you had all of 

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that kind of stuff. 
It's probably quite Vivid 

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memories for you and you may 
find that you still even have 

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things to this day. 
Maybe like your favorite color, 

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your favorite food, All that 
really bring back memories from 

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back then that feel very Vivid 
for you. 

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These are all part of those 
really formative ages that 

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helped to create your sense of 
self and who you feel that you 

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are. 
Now, the important part about 

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this is knowing that the 
influential people that we have 

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in our lives at those moments in
time over those years, whether 

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that is a parental figure a 
mother or a father, whether 

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it's, you know, grandparents, 
whether it's a teacher at, Cool.

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It doesn't have to only be 
parents and some people don't 

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have a great relationship with 
their parents. 

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Some people don't get along with
their parents at all. 

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Some people don't even know 
their parents. 

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So that's the reason why, when I
word this, I say influential 

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people between those ages of 5 
and 15 years old, because really

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anybody that we viewers. 
Influential in those age groups,

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we can learn patterns of 
behavior and of thinking and 

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language patterns and it might 
Even turn into negative belief 

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negative, self-talk those types 
of things as it continues to 

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grow and develop within you as a
person as a human as you come 

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out of those identity ages as 
well. 

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00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,700
So yeah. 
Look as I'm talking I'm like, 

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wow, this really needs to be a 
whole podcast episode on itself.

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So I will do that in the next 
podcast episode for you guys and

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00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:38,600
just dive a bit deeper into How 
these patterns and the behaviors

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that are modeled to us in 
childhood shape you as a person,

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when you are, obviously now an 
adult listening to this podcast 

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00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:49,400
episode. 
So let me run you through these 

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00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:54,400
five quickly, I'll give you some
definitions and some examples. 

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So, we have the first pattern 
that can be learned or modeled 

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in childhood is the helper. 
So if this Behavior was modeled 

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to you by somebody and 
influential person in your life,

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as you Were growing up. 
This would be seen as somebody 

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that is very selfless, very 
caring, really ready to lend a 

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hand whenever it's needed and to
actively improve the lives of 

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00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,099
others. 
So the helper they like to give 

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00:17:20,099 --> 00:17:23,200
they like to help and they like 
to empathize with others which 

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00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:28,400
can also lead to high achieving 
self-sacrificing and also 

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00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:32,400
feeling help. 
Sorry also feeling hurt if help 

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or giving behaviors aren't Ted 
as well. 

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So, I've tried to also include 
in here, like the strengths of 

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these patterns that we can 
learn, and that we can kind of 

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evolved into ourselves, but also
what some of the limitations 

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might be because sometimes it 
might be more that you recognize

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00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,100
the limitations that you like, 
oh yeah. 

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00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:55,400
I seen that coming up for me 
here as well. 

305
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So that is our helper pattern. 
Now, the next one that we can 

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learn is our empath. 
So the empath these people are 

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highly attuned to others mood 
and feelings. 

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Our a thrives in harmonious 
situations. 

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00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:16,300
Observe absorbing the good 
feelings but also noticing when 

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tension is high or bad, feelings
are present and absorbs that 

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00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,600
too. 
So this can lead to burnout as a

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00:18:23,608 --> 00:18:26,400
flow-on effect from not being 
able to separate their own 

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00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:30,000
emotions from others. 
So, thinking about those first 

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00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:34,500
two, the helper and the empath. 
Really, considering do I notice 

315
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:36,400
any of those Traits Within 
Myself. 

316
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:40,200
Is that anything that I say 
coming up for me or if I think 

317
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,500
about some of those influential 
people in my life, do I notice 

318
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:48,700
that behavior within them and is
that something that maybe I'm 

319
00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:52,300
starting to realize now I have 
also taken on board myself and 

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00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:56,100
has it has been grown and 
evolved with me as a human and 

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00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:59,300
now into my adult years on. 
What does this look like for me?

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00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:03,500
So the next pattern that I want 
to run you through is 

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people-pleasing. 
So this pattern looks like the 

324
00:19:07,700 --> 00:19:11,300
want and need to please. 
Others often due to fear of 

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00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:14,000
rejection. 
So it's the want to be liked or 

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00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,000
to prove that you are good 
enough. 

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This will commonly be seen as 
the yes person. 

328
00:19:19,100 --> 00:19:21,100
So those people that find it 
hard to say. 

329
00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:25,100
No, they will also value. 
Praise from others. 

330
00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:27,900
They might say, sorry when 
there's really no apology 

331
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,700
required. 
And they also push aside, their 

332
00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:33,000
own needs to accommodate 
everybody else. 

333
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:38,000
So again, similar to the Empath.
Our people places these can lead

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00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:42,100
to burnout and resentment to 
people or situations due to not 

335
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:45,100
being able to prioritize 
themselves often. 

336
00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:49,300
So because our people pleases 
are yes, people, sometimes they 

337
00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:51,700
may notice that. 
They push their own boundaries 

338
00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:54,400
by saying, yes, to everybody 
else and everything else. 

339
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:59,400
And that can really bring into 
account resentment and burnout 

340
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:03,800
because you haven't been able to
take time to recognize that. 

341
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,800
Maybe there's been a few Too 
many yeses out words of yourself

342
00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:09,800
and not enough yeses for 
yourself or not enough boundary 

343
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:15,000
setting to give you some time to
prioritize feeling up your own 

344
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,100
cup as well. 
I'm trying to remember, I think 

345
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:21,500
I did an episode on resentment. 
Let me just have a quick look 

346
00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:26,400
because if I didn't, it's coming
up, but let me just have a quick

347
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:27,500
look. 
And make sure that I have 

348
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:29,900
released that. 
Before I tell you that I've 

349
00:20:29,900 --> 00:20:32,700
done. 
One resentment is such a cool 

350
00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:35,300
topic. 
I love the topic of It because 

351
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:38,300
like I just said, we really 
touch on things like boundaries 

352
00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:42,800
like what are my boundaries? 
Yeah. 

353
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,500
What are my boundaries? 
Am I sticking to my boundaries? 

354
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:53,100
If I do feel resentment coming 
up with a specific person or 

355
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,600
circumstance or event? 
Like why is this resentment 

356
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,100
coming up? 
What are my boundaries and have 

357
00:20:59,100 --> 00:21:02,800
I been pushing them? 
Let me just have a look. 

358
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,300
I've done a Monday motivation 
episode on boundaries are here 

359
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:09,600
we go. 
So episode 99. 

360
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,800
Is Monday motivation on 
boundaries and that was a really

361
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,500
beautiful quick. 
Little 14 minute episode where I

362
00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:20,400
pulled a oracle card and we had 
a little bit of a chat about 

363
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,800
what came through with that 
oracle card there as well with 

364
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:28,100
those boundaries but 
specifically episode 97 is a 

365
00:21:28,108 --> 00:21:31,500
therapy Thursday episode and it 
is on resentment. 

366
00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:35,900
What is it and how to Let It Go?
So, if you notice really any of 

367
00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:38,900
these, the help are the empath 
people-pleasing. 

368
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:42,900
If you notice any of those three
coming up for you episode, 97 

369
00:21:42,900 --> 00:21:45,700
would be a really, really good. 
One to go back and listen to, 

370
00:21:45,700 --> 00:21:49,200
because you can learn what 
resentment is, where it comes 

371
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,800
from, and how to work through it
and how to, actually let some of

372
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,600
that resentment go. 
And when you're you feel like 

373
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:59,200
you can let resentment go, then 
it really leaves space for some 

374
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,600
beautiful connection with your 
relationships in your lives, as 

375
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:06,500
well, which is really cool. 
I feel like stumbling over my 

376
00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:09,100
words a little bit today, but 
that's alright, we're going to 

377
00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:11,300
roll with it and we are going to
continue. 

378
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:15,000
So I've got two more patterns 
that we are going to look at. 

379
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,700
Now, this one is a bit of a 
general one. 

380
00:22:16,700 --> 00:22:21,300
It is in general, your beliefs. 
So often beliefs are thinking 

381
00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:24,600
patterns, opinions and values 
that have been passed down from 

382
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:28,200
influential people in childhood 
that then grow and develop as 

383
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:31,500
you grow and develop. 
So this can lead to limiting 

384
00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:34,000
beliefs and negative self-talk a
societal perspective. 

385
00:22:34,100 --> 00:22:37,300
Perspectives are opinions that 
aren't actually your own. 

386
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:41,100
So if you think about those 
influential people in your life 

387
00:22:41,700 --> 00:22:46,500
when you were growing up, what 
are some perspectives of maybe 

388
00:22:46,500 --> 00:22:50,400
certain groups in society? 
The way that maybe certain 

389
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:54,200
groups of people live or their 
Lifestyles that they choose and 

390
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:57,700
those types of things. 
Is there any certain 

391
00:22:57,700 --> 00:23:02,800
perspectives or opinions or like
throwaway comments that they may

392
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,900
have made? 
A few times. 

393
00:23:04,900 --> 00:23:07,600
That potentially you have taken 
on board. 

394
00:23:07,700 --> 00:23:11,700
I know I've spoken about beliefs
before in a few podcast episodes

395
00:23:11,700 --> 00:23:15,700
on the cool thing with beliefs 
is when we really start to dive 

396
00:23:15,700 --> 00:23:18,700
in and question, okay, where 
does this belief come from? 

397
00:23:19,100 --> 00:23:22,100
And I'm trying to think of an 
example, that's like a bit of a 

398
00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:25,100
light-hearted example because 
some of them are a little bit 

399
00:23:25,700 --> 00:23:35,900
heavy and dark the belief that 
All men are bad. 

400
00:23:35,900 --> 00:23:40,000
Let's use that example. 
So that could be from, let's 

401
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:45,200
just say that you're I'm really 
just going to like Dive In The 

402
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:48,800
Deep End here and give a really 
hypothetical example. 

403
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:54,700
But let's say that you had a 
very close relationship with 

404
00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:58,200
your mum and your grandmother 
growing up again, this is super 

405
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,700
hypothetical. 
So like this is not obviously 

406
00:24:00,700 --> 00:24:02,900
going to be relevant necessarily
but it's just using the 

407
00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:05,500
examples. 
So you understand our beliefs 

408
00:24:05,500 --> 00:24:08,700
can be passed down to us. 
So let's say you had a super 

409
00:24:08,700 --> 00:24:11,800
close relationship with your mom
and your grandmother growing up 

410
00:24:12,300 --> 00:24:16,600
and your mom and your dad got 
divorced, maybe while you were 

411
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:22,200
young in those ages of five and 
15 and potentially, it was not 

412
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:25,600
the best of breakups. 
There was maybe some animosity 

413
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:29,600
or some negativity that your mom
or your grandma was holding onto

414
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:33,300
and over time and it doesn't 
have to be super regularly. 

415
00:24:33,300 --> 00:24:37,900
But Overtime, you overheard 
different conversations or few 

416
00:24:37,900 --> 00:24:42,800
throwaway comments that, you 
know, all men are bad or like 

417
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:46,800
it's, you know, so hard being 
married and that men don't pull 

418
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,600
their weight around the 
household and all of that type 

419
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,200
of stuff. 
We're really looking at these 

420
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,400
big generalizations that people 
can make that. 

421
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:58,400
I mean, you will know from 
listening to the generalization 

422
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,400
podcast episode. 
We all generalize we need to to 

423
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:07,400
get through life, but But when 
we are hearing these big 

424
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:10,800
sweeping statements or these 
perspectives and opinions that 

425
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,400
are being made by these 
influential people in our lives,

426
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:18,200
that can also trickle down to 
you and that can impact your 

427
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,800
perspectives and opinions. 
The way that you think and feel 

428
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:23,900
about certain groups of people. 
Whether that's minorities 

429
00:25:23,900 --> 00:25:26,700
whether it's big groups of 
people and big generalizations. 

430
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:32,000
So you could then in this 
example that I'm giving be led 

431
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:35,000
to believe that. 
All men are dick heads for an 

432
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:40,700
example or that men don't help 
out around the house, that type 

433
00:25:40,700 --> 00:25:43,000
of thing. 
So, what we want to be thinking 

434
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:46,200
about is what are the beliefs, 
the thinking patterns, the 

435
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:50,900
opinions, the values that have 
been passed down to me, when I 

436
00:25:50,900 --> 00:25:53,700
was younger. 
And they don't have to be - they

437
00:25:53,700 --> 00:25:56,900
don't have to be like, leaning 
towards that more limiting side 

438
00:25:56,900 --> 00:25:59,400
of beliefs. 
But it's really interesting when

439
00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:03,200
we start to look into this and 
realize that, oh, some of these 

440
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:06,800
things, Is that I think or some 
of these things that I hold to 

441
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:10,100
believe is true at. 
That's not even actually my 

442
00:26:10,100 --> 00:26:14,500
belief, that's somebody else's. 
Somebody else has told me this 

443
00:26:14,500 --> 00:26:17,400
or I've overheard this a few 
times as I've been growing up 

444
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:20,300
and I realize now that I've 
taken that on board as my own 

445
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,900
when it's actually not, that's 
not what I think at all. 

446
00:26:23,900 --> 00:26:25,500
That's what somebody else 
thinks. 

447
00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:28,700
And then the cool part is being 
able to reassess and think, 

448
00:26:28,700 --> 00:26:30,900
okay, well, what do I actually 
believe here? 

449
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:34,900
So anyway, That is how our 
beliefs are. 

450
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:39,900
Like I said, I should have just 
kept this as one podcast episode

451
00:26:39,900 --> 00:26:42,900
within itself because there's so
much other information to dive 

452
00:26:42,900 --> 00:26:45,700
into with all of this. 
But I will do that in the next 

453
00:26:45,700 --> 00:26:49,900
episode for you guys. 
Now, the next one that I have is

454
00:26:49,900 --> 00:26:55,300
seeking approval, so people that
have learned this pattern or / 

455
00:26:55,300 --> 00:26:58,200
had this pattern modeled to them
in childhood, this seeking 

456
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:02,000
approval approval is the desire 
to seek approval of validation 

457
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:05,800
from others, which Comes from 
the basic human psychological 

458
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,600
need of connection. 
So this can mean seeking 

459
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:12,000
approval of your own thoughts of
your feelings, your beliefs, 

460
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:16,800
your choices, your values, your 
actions and that can lead to a 

461
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:21,900
varying sense of self due to 
lack of self-awareness because 

462
00:27:21,900 --> 00:27:25,100
when you are constantly seeking 
approval from Outlets of 

463
00:27:25,100 --> 00:27:29,300
yourself and you're looking for 
that sense of validation outside

464
00:27:29,300 --> 00:27:33,800
of you, you start to kind of 
chip away at your sense of Self 

465
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:38,600
worth and that sense of like 
just that General sense of self 

466
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:42,700
within you of like, yes. 
This is what I think and that's 

467
00:27:42,700 --> 00:27:45,600
okay. 
And this is what I feel and 

468
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,300
that's okay. 
And like this is me. 

469
00:27:48,300 --> 00:27:51,500
This is who I am. 
So a lot of people that have 

470
00:27:51,500 --> 00:27:54,900
been through a big identity 
shift, whether that's during 

471
00:27:54,900 --> 00:27:57,800
motherhood, whether it's during 
a career change, maybe you've 

472
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,900
moved house or moved countries. 
Maybe you've changed friendship 

473
00:28:00,900 --> 00:28:03,300
groups. 
This seeking approval. 

474
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:07,300
Pattern or behavior can really 
start to be quite apparent. 

475
00:28:07,300 --> 00:28:11,600
When we look at an identity 
shift that we go through and it 

476
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:16,000
can really start to show itself 
when we are doing that. 

477
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,900
And we need to look at. 
Okay, where does this actually 

478
00:28:17,900 --> 00:28:20,100
come from? 
Is this a pattern from my 

479
00:28:20,100 --> 00:28:22,700
childhood that I've learnt from 
somebody else? 

480
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:27,700
So out of those five patterns 
that can be learned and modeled 

481
00:28:27,700 --> 00:28:31,600
in childhood really thinking 
about okay, is there any of them

482
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:33,900
that really come up for me that 
have been I did that. 

483
00:28:33,900 --> 00:28:37,900
I realized. 
Oh, I did say this person in my 

484
00:28:37,900 --> 00:28:43,000
life, you know, running through 
these patterns or behaviors and 

485
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,500
that is potentially. 
Also something I've taken on 

486
00:28:45,500 --> 00:28:47,700
board for myself as well. 
That's something that I've 

487
00:28:47,700 --> 00:28:51,900
learned that has then evolved 
into a version of me as well. 

488
00:28:52,300 --> 00:28:56,100
And, you know, it's like I said,
not that anything is ever. 

489
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:59,400
All right, or all wrong, it's 
just thinking about. 

490
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:01,200
Okay, what are the strengths for
this? 

491
00:29:01,500 --> 00:29:04,000
And then also what are the 
Nations. 

492
00:29:04,500 --> 00:29:08,400
Now, in the workshop, I also run
through some of the common 

493
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:12,700
cognitive distortions which you 
guys would know, is also a fancy

494
00:29:12,700 --> 00:29:17,400
way of saying thinking patterns,
but I'm not going to dive into 

495
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,600
them because I've already been 
talking for 28 minutes and I'm 

496
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:24,700
very wary of time for you guys. 
So there is a few other common 

497
00:29:24,700 --> 00:29:27,900
cognitive distortions or 
thinking patterns that can also 

498
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:31,600
really feed into this sense of 
like worrying about what other 

499
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:35,200
people think I've run. 
Through a few of them in 

500
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:38,500
previous episodes in the mindset
series that I did last year as 

501
00:29:38,500 --> 00:29:41,400
well. 
So all of those are common, 

502
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:43,700
cognitive distortions, and 
thinking patterns are all there 

503
00:29:43,700 --> 00:29:46,300
in the mindset series for you if
you want to go and learn more 

504
00:29:46,300 --> 00:29:49,300
about them. 
Now, I want to have a look at 

505
00:29:49,300 --> 00:29:53,900
the strengths and limitations of
caring about what others think 

506
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:58,300
some of the strengths is that 
you have the ability to be 

507
00:29:58,300 --> 00:30:01,900
kinder to others. 
Because you can really empathize

508
00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:04,000
with them, you can show 
compassion Passion to other 

509
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:07,200
people. 
It also means that you can be 

510
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:10,100
more sensitive to other people's
emotions. 

511
00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:12,600
So again, we have that 
compassion in that empathy that 

512
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:17,700
can come through there, we have 
a ability to help and maintain 

513
00:30:17,700 --> 00:30:21,400
close relationships. 
And it also means that it can 

514
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:26,000
prevent rash decisions because 
sometimes it might mean that you

515
00:30:26,300 --> 00:30:29,100
may be overthinking a little bit
or that you start to worry. 

516
00:30:29,300 --> 00:30:33,500
But that can mean that instead 
of kind of jumping the gun, Or 

517
00:30:33,500 --> 00:30:37,300
just you know going for it so to
speak with certain decisions, 

518
00:30:37,500 --> 00:30:41,400
you can kind of way up a few 
different options that can help 

519
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,700
you to feel like you've made a 
really informed decision. 

520
00:30:45,100 --> 00:30:48,700
So there's some really really 
beautiful strength of caring 

521
00:30:48,700 --> 00:30:50,800
what others think? 
I know I spoke about that 

522
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:55,300
psychological need of connection
that we have as humans and 

523
00:30:55,300 --> 00:30:58,900
you'll see that you know, those 
first three that I ran you 

524
00:30:58,900 --> 00:31:01,600
through being kinder to others 
being more sensitive to other 

525
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:05,400
people's emotions, Having that 
compassion in that empathy and 

526
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:08,700
maintaining close relationships.
They're really, really closely 

527
00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:11,100
connected to, that human 
psychological needs. 

528
00:31:11,100 --> 00:31:16,300
So really easy to start to 
understand why we worry about 

529
00:31:16,308 --> 00:31:19,700
what other people think and what
the strengths of caring about 

530
00:31:19,700 --> 00:31:23,000
what other people think is, but 
what we also want to have a look

531
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:26,300
at is okay, I can recognize 
those strengths and I want to 

532
00:31:26,300 --> 00:31:30,100
lean into them but what are some
of the limitations as well? 

533
00:31:30,100 --> 00:31:36,200
So limitations, we're looking It
is that us apart from like, I 

534
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:40,500
just said preventing rash 
decisions the limitations mean, 

535
00:31:40,500 --> 00:31:44,600
from that you can or it could 
also stop you from doing things.

536
00:31:44,700 --> 00:31:48,300
So, I did quickly mention just 
then over thinking or worrying. 

537
00:31:48,500 --> 00:31:51,700
So, if you are preventing 
yourself from making rash 

538
00:31:51,700 --> 00:31:55,300
decisions, you could also be 
really leaning into that aspect,

539
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:59,200
you could be really leaning into
the overthinking, the wari and 

540
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:02,100
feeling anxious about something 
and stopping yourself from doing

541
00:32:02,100 --> 00:32:04,200
it all together. 
Which can be quite limiting. 

542
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:07,800
So, what we want to do, when we 
look at that one, is really find

543
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:10,500
a nice meet in the middle ground
or sense of balance, for this 

544
00:32:10,500 --> 00:32:14,200
of, like, okay, I want to feel 
like I'm making informed 

545
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:18,400
decisions and like I am, you 
know, feeling empowered with the

546
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:22,500
decisions that I'm making. 
But I'm also not leaning so far 

547
00:32:22,500 --> 00:32:25,900
into that, that I'm stopping 
myself, and I'm procrastinating.

548
00:32:25,900 --> 00:32:28,500
And letting my emotions or my 
feelings, all my excuses. 

549
00:32:28,500 --> 00:32:31,600
Get in the way of doing things, 
that feel really important to 

550
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:34,200
me. 
So, That's our first limitation,

551
00:32:34,500 --> 00:32:38,100
the second limitation again. 
Like I just mentioned that a 

552
00:32:38,100 --> 00:32:41,200
caring about what other people 
think really can cause worry 

553
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:44,600
stress and overthinking. 
So, of course, there are three 

554
00:32:44,700 --> 00:32:47,600
very big feelings. 
We've, we're worrying. 

555
00:32:47,700 --> 00:32:50,800
We feel stressed, we're 
overthinking which can lead to 

556
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:54,300
feeling anxious. 
They're very big feelings and 

557
00:32:54,300 --> 00:32:57,900
this their feelings that we 
don't want to be feeling super 

558
00:32:57,900 --> 00:33:01,600
regularly, right? 
Like as we know yes, we have a 

559
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,500
whole spectrum of emotions 
Raisin. 

560
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:06,800
Yes, all of our feelings, are 
there to help to teach us 

561
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:09,600
something to shine a light on 
something to help us to learn to

562
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:12,700
grow and all of those things 
that are very important. 

563
00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:17,100
But when we are feeling them, 
too often, that's when we really

564
00:33:17,100 --> 00:33:19,400
start to notice, like this 
doesn't actually feel good for 

565
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:21,800
me here. 
Now, the next limitation that I 

566
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,800
have is a loss of 
self-confidence. 

567
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:28,100
Now, this is also combined with 
my next limitation that I want 

568
00:33:28,100 --> 00:33:31,700
to touch on as well, which is a 
loss of your sense of self and 

569
00:33:31,700 --> 00:33:34,900
identity. 
So these two are definitely 

570
00:33:34,900 --> 00:33:38,400
different from each other, but 
also quite similar in the way 

571
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:42,700
that we're looking at when you 
have a loss of sense of self and

572
00:33:42,700 --> 00:33:46,500
your identity, He of like, okay,
who am I, what do I enjoy? 

573
00:33:46,500 --> 00:33:49,900
What do I like like? 
What are the who am I as a 

574
00:33:49,900 --> 00:33:54,000
person when you take away all of
the labels like, you know, this 

575
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,300
is what I do for work. 
This is my career. 

576
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,900
Maybe you're a parent, are you a
sister? 

577
00:33:58,900 --> 00:34:02,800
Are you a daughter? 
A son, a father, a brother, a 

578
00:34:02,900 --> 00:34:07,500
cousin, like all of those types 
of things, all of the labels 

579
00:34:07,500 --> 00:34:11,000
that you have for yourself, all 
of the hats that you wear if you

580
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:15,500
take them away and think about 
well, who Am I like at the core 

581
00:34:15,500 --> 00:34:18,699
of me? 
That is your sense of self that 

582
00:34:18,699 --> 00:34:22,300
is your identity. 
And when you care so much about 

583
00:34:22,300 --> 00:34:27,600
what other people think, you can
place so much importance in 

584
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,900
other people's perspectives and 
opinions and views or what other

585
00:34:30,900 --> 00:34:33,699
people are doing with their 
lives that you start to lose 

586
00:34:33,699 --> 00:34:36,900
that sense of self and identity,
because you start to create your

587
00:34:36,900 --> 00:34:41,699
life for the people around you, 
or for the people that you are. 

588
00:34:44,100 --> 00:34:47,500
You know viewing or comparing. 
I'm kind of just thinking like 

589
00:34:47,500 --> 00:34:49,699
not necessarily even for those 
people. 

590
00:34:49,699 --> 00:34:53,100
But like you can start to create
a lifestyle that you see, for 

591
00:34:53,100 --> 00:34:56,100
example, maybe on social media 
that you're like oh this person 

592
00:34:56,100 --> 00:34:58,600
has this house or this piece of 
furniture in the house or 

593
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:02,700
whatever and then you're like 
well I want that lounge or I 

594
00:35:02,700 --> 00:35:05,900
want that I don't know bunch of 
flowers or print that they have 

595
00:35:05,900 --> 00:35:09,100
on the wall or whatever when 
it's like okay but why do you 

596
00:35:09,107 --> 00:35:12,000
like that thing? 
Do you actually like it or do 

597
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:15,200
you just like it because that 
person has And that's their 

598
00:35:15,500 --> 00:35:18,900
thing or their perspective or 
something that they value, we 

599
00:35:18,900 --> 00:35:22,300
can start to place so much value
in what other people have or 

600
00:35:22,300 --> 00:35:26,100
what other people are doing with
their lives that we kind of lose

601
00:35:26,100 --> 00:35:29,700
that sense of self of like well 
this is what I like and this is 

602
00:35:29,700 --> 00:35:33,600
why I like it and why I want to 
do it which then leads on, to 

603
00:35:34,100 --> 00:35:37,400
that loss of self-confidence. 
Because you don't have that 

604
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:41,300
strong sense of identity and 
sense of self within you, which 

605
00:35:41,300 --> 00:35:45,300
self really does refer to. 
To, you know, self confidence, 

606
00:35:45,300 --> 00:35:48,200
self, love, self worth, all of 
that kind of stuff, anything 

607
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:52,500
starting with self is your sense
of self. 

608
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:56,900
And when you start to lose that,
it's like, well, I feel a little

609
00:35:56,900 --> 00:36:01,600
bit unsure. 
So again, these can come from 

610
00:36:02,300 --> 00:36:05,000
Big Life Changes. 
Like I was just mentioning like 

611
00:36:05,100 --> 00:36:08,700
shifting into motherhood and 
feeling that life change in that

612
00:36:08,700 --> 00:36:11,100
identity shift, their changing 
your jobs. 

613
00:36:11,100 --> 00:36:13,800
Changing your career path. 
Moving house, moving country. 

614
00:36:13,900 --> 00:36:17,600
Changing friendship groups. 
We could also be looking at a 

615
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:21,100
relationship breakdown. 
There's so many different ways 

616
00:36:21,100 --> 00:36:26,300
that we can experience change in
our life which then brings in a 

617
00:36:26,300 --> 00:36:29,700
sense of like a shift in 
identity of like, okay. 

618
00:36:29,700 --> 00:36:33,100
Well, who am I say? 
For example, if we're looking at

619
00:36:33,100 --> 00:36:36,400
a relationship breakdown who am 
I without that person? 

620
00:36:36,700 --> 00:36:41,200
Or who am I now that I have had 
a career change or moved house? 

621
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:44,000
Or now that I'm a mom or now 
that I'm a parent goes to Types 

622
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:47,700
of things. 
And so really, your identity is 

623
00:36:47,700 --> 00:36:53,600
something that needs to be paid 
attention to and worked on as an

624
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:56,500
ongoing process throughout your 
whole entire life. 

625
00:36:56,500 --> 00:37:00,300
Because if you think about the 
person that you were five years 

626
00:37:00,300 --> 00:37:03,600
ago compared to the person that 
you are today, I can guarantee 

627
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:06,100
you, there's things you were 
doing five years ago, that you 

628
00:37:06,100 --> 00:37:08,700
wouldn't do now. 
Maybe you get like, Facebook, 

629
00:37:08,700 --> 00:37:12,200
memories that pop up on your 
feed and you like, or cringe. 

630
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:15,700
Like that was such a cringy. 
I can do for me, it'll be like 

631
00:37:15,700 --> 00:37:18,700
post from like 10 or 15 years 
ago that are popping up, like, 

632
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:21,200
oh look at what you were talking
about 10 years ago and I'm like,

633
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:24,200
oh my God, like oh, there's like
activities that you were doing 

634
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:27,400
maybe five or ten years ago that
you like I haven't done that for

635
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:30,400
so long like that's not even 
something that interest me 

636
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:34,600
anymore, that kind of thing. 
So, you know, as much as we like

637
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:38,500
to say that, we don't like 
change, you as a person are 

638
00:37:38,500 --> 00:37:41,700
changing every single day, every
single week, every single month,

639
00:37:41,700 --> 00:37:43,700
and your identity is also 
shifting. 

640
00:37:43,700 --> 00:37:47,000
And And when you can Embrace 
that that really touches back 

641
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:49,800
on, that idea that I was talking
about last week, as well of that

642
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:53,500
impermanence that nothing is 
ever going to stay the same. 

643
00:37:53,500 --> 00:37:56,800
Everything is always changing. 
You are always changing your 

644
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,700
relationships around. 
You are always ebbing, and 

645
00:37:59,700 --> 00:38:03,600
flowing, and evolving, and 
changing with you around. 

646
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:06,100
You, all of those types of 
things which is very cool to 

647
00:38:06,100 --> 00:38:08,900
think about. 
It's also a very big concept to 

648
00:38:08,900 --> 00:38:11,200
think about. 
So now that we know some of 

649
00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:13,700
these limitations, I want you to
think about, okay. 

650
00:38:13,900 --> 00:38:16,600
We've run through the strength, 
we've spoken about the 

651
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:19,300
limitations out of the strength.
What do I feel like? 

652
00:38:19,300 --> 00:38:22,600
I'm really leaning towards an 
embracing but also out of the 

653
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:25,300
limitations. 
What do I really notice coming 

654
00:38:25,300 --> 00:38:28,900
up for me as well? 
How can I start to actually 

655
00:38:28,900 --> 00:38:33,600
create change? 
Now, again with this one, I 

656
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:37,100
actually have six ways to be 
increasing your self-worth. 

657
00:38:37,100 --> 00:38:40,500
Now I can't tell you all six of 
them because that would be 

658
00:38:40,500 --> 00:38:42,100
giving away the whole entire 
Workshop. 

659
00:38:42,100 --> 00:38:47,000
But I am going to to run you 
through three of them. 

660
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:50,500
So one of the ones that I've 
really enjoyed and something 

661
00:38:50,500 --> 00:38:55,000
I've really taken on board for 
myself as well over the last few

662
00:38:55,100 --> 00:38:58,500
weeks since I ran this workshop 
and put all of this information 

663
00:38:58,500 --> 00:39:02,300
together. 
My first tip for you to be 

664
00:39:02,300 --> 00:39:05,300
thinking about increasing your 
sense of self-worth, not 

665
00:39:05,300 --> 00:39:08,900
worrying about what other people
think is to define the 

666
00:39:08,900 --> 00:39:12,300
narrative. 
Don't let it Define you. 

667
00:39:12,300 --> 00:39:15,500
And what I mean by that, Is I 
have a little question here. 

668
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:19,500
What energy do I want to bring 
to this situation? 

669
00:39:20,100 --> 00:39:22,900
What does it look like for me to
embody that? 

670
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,800
So call out your inner critic, 
if you're noticing that 

671
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:28,200
something's coming up, you're 
worrying about something. 

672
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:32,400
Or someone is this actually what
you're worried about. 

673
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:34,900
So there's this is actually a 
bit of a two-pronged one which 

674
00:39:34,900 --> 00:39:37,800
is why I wanted to run through 
it because I think it's so 

675
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,800
beneficial. 
So when I say don't, sorry, 

676
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:43,300
Define The Narrative. 
Don't let it Define you. 

677
00:39:43,300 --> 00:39:45,200
What I mean. 
By that is say for example 

678
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:48,800
you've got something coming up 
that you're feeling a little bit

679
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,500
nervous about, maybe you've got 
a meeting that's going to be 

680
00:39:51,508 --> 00:39:54,900
happening at work or you're 
doing a presentation or you're 

681
00:39:54,900 --> 00:39:57,800
catching up with a friend that 
you haven't seen in a really 

682
00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,600
long time since like, before 
lockdown. 

683
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:01,500
Maybe it's a little bit awkward,
I don't know. 

684
00:40:01,500 --> 00:40:03,500
Like, whatever you're feeling a 
bit nervous about something. 

685
00:40:03,500 --> 00:40:08,700
Okay, what I want you to think 
about because when we have our 

686
00:40:08,700 --> 00:40:11,600
physiological responses in our 
body when you have those 

687
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:14,800
physiological body changes and 
Shifts. 

688
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:17,300
So it could be that you notice 
that when you feel nervous, you 

689
00:40:17,300 --> 00:40:20,100
get butterflies in your tummy, 
maybe feel a little bit sick, 

690
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:23,300
maybe you feel like your throat 
closes up a little bit. 

691
00:40:23,300 --> 00:40:26,900
When you get nervous maybe you 
feel like your chest gets quite 

692
00:40:26,900 --> 00:40:30,200
tight or your heart beats a lot 
quicker or your breathing 

693
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:32,900
increases and you're not doing 
your full deep belly, breaths. 

694
00:40:33,500 --> 00:40:36,000
What? 
All of these physiological or 

695
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:40,400
body changes are doing is 
signaling to your brain. 

696
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:46,400
That you don't feel happy. 
Can 10th confident, you know, 

697
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,500
those feelings that we really 
want to be feeling. 

698
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:52,800
So what happens then is your 
brain is putting this recipe 

699
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:56,500
together and it's like oh I've 
just noticed my body changing 

700
00:40:56,500 --> 00:40:59,600
like my heart's beating faster 
and I'm walking really quickly. 

701
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,400
That must mean I'm running late 
for work or I'm running late for

702
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:04,500
that important meeting. 
Now, I'm feeling really 

703
00:41:04,500 --> 00:41:08,600
flustered so you can see how 
goes body changes or 

704
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,700
physiological changes of like my
heart's beating quickly. 

705
00:41:11,900 --> 00:41:14,600
I'm breathing a lot quicker than
normal and Walking really 

706
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:17,300
quickly. 
Your brain puts them together in

707
00:41:17,300 --> 00:41:20,800
a recipe. 
Also combines them with thoughts

708
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:22,700
but I'm not going to dive into 
that right now because it's 

709
00:41:22,700 --> 00:41:27,300
that's a huge topic. 
And then things, well, I must 

710
00:41:27,300 --> 00:41:31,800
feel flustered, I must feel 
rushed because these are the 

711
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:35,800
signs that you're giving me. 
So, when you think about feeling

712
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:39,200
nervous or when you think about 
over thinking or worrying about 

713
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:42,400
what other people think of you, 
you might be able to recognize 

714
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:45,300
some physiological. 
Equal changes that happen within

715
00:41:45,300 --> 00:41:47,100
your body. 
Maybe you do get those 

716
00:41:47,100 --> 00:41:50,200
butterflies, maybe you do start 
to notice your heart rate or 

717
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:52,900
your breathing increasing, or 
maybe you start tapping your 

718
00:41:52,900 --> 00:41:57,700
foot, or picking your nails, or 
I know for one of my clients a 

719
00:41:57,700 --> 00:42:00,500
few years ago, biting her 
fingernails that was like her 

720
00:42:00,500 --> 00:42:03,500
big trigger point that she was 
like, as soon as she recognized 

721
00:42:03,500 --> 00:42:05,800
that she was biting her 
fingernails, she was like, oh 

722
00:42:05,900 --> 00:42:08,400
something must be wrong. 
Like, something's making me feel

723
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:12,900
anxious and yeah. 
So it's cool to be able to 

724
00:42:12,900 --> 00:42:16,700
notice these liked Good points, 
I guess you would call them and 

725
00:42:16,700 --> 00:42:18,000
to be able to just call them 
out. 

726
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,600
So again, you can't change 
something if you're not aware of

727
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:24,600
it to create that awareness of 
like, okay, I'm noticing my body

728
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:29,400
changing physiologically, let's 
just stop for a second instead 

729
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:31,800
of letting my brain run with 
this recipe, that I would 

730
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:35,700
normally create here and just 
jump straight into feeling 

731
00:42:35,700 --> 00:42:38,600
flustered or stressed or 
overwhelmed or anxious. 

732
00:42:39,300 --> 00:42:41,900
Ask yourself when you notice 
those trigger points. 

733
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:46,600
Hang on a second. 
What energy do I want to bring 

734
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:51,400
to this situation? 
So, in some of those examples, 

735
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:53,800
what energy do I want to bring 
to this meeting? 

736
00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:57,900
What energy do I want to bring 
to this conversation to this 

737
00:42:57,900 --> 00:43:01,100
presentation at work to this 
meet up with an old friend that 

738
00:43:01,100 --> 00:43:05,600
I haven't seen for years? 
What does it look like for me to

739
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:09,800
embody that? 
And these are the important 

740
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:12,000
questions. 
So I was feeling a little bit 

741
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:15,600
nervous. 
When I was going to do the mini 

742
00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:19,700
retreat with bell movement, a 
few weekends ago, and like I was

743
00:43:19,700 --> 00:43:23,000
fine in the lead up to it, I was
really excited, super pumped up 

744
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,300
and then once it gets to the 
day, like I always get a little 

745
00:43:25,300 --> 00:43:28,400
bit nervous especially because 
it was my first public speaking 

746
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:31,600
gig in like since before 
lockdown. 

747
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:36,200
So, it had been like two years 
and I love public speaking', 

748
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:38,000
love it. 
Like love getting In front of 

749
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,200
people, love that sense of 
connection was such a beautiful 

750
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:44,300
day but I recognize that as I 
was walking out to the car, I 

751
00:43:44,300 --> 00:43:47,400
was like, you know, what do you 
call it? 

752
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:51,000
Like, not like tapping my hands.
Oh my gosh, guys. 

753
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:53,800
My words again baby brain, 
please forgive me. 

754
00:43:54,300 --> 00:43:59,700
Fiddling my hands and just kind 
of like, you know, playing with 

755
00:43:59,700 --> 00:44:02,800
my fingers or like underneath my
fingernails, like picking my 

756
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:06,300
nails that kind of stuff. 
Tapping, the steering wheel, I 

757
00:44:06,300 --> 00:44:07,500
was breathing a little bit 
quicker. 

758
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:10,300
Parker and I pulled up into the 
car park and I thought, okay, 

759
00:44:11,100 --> 00:44:15,000
Amy just stop for a second 
because like you are literally 

760
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:19,700
generating this feeling now. 
So just stop and ask yourself 

761
00:44:19,700 --> 00:44:21,300
this question. 
I'd only just written this 

762
00:44:21,300 --> 00:44:22,600
workbook, a few weeks 
beforehand. 

763
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:25,900
So it was really fresh in my 
mind and I was like, what energy

764
00:44:25,900 --> 00:44:29,500
do I want to bring to today? 
Because I don't want to walk 

765
00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:37,100
into that workshop and that 
speaking gig and my goodness. 

766
00:44:37,100 --> 00:44:40,000
Sorry. 
Scuse me and be feeling 

767
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,300
flustered and nervous and I 
don't want to give off that 

768
00:44:42,300 --> 00:44:46,500
Vibe. 
These women have put time aside 

769
00:44:46,500 --> 00:44:48,400
for themselves. 
They have prioritized time for 

770
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:51,400
themselves today and I want them
to feel like the best version of

771
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:54,300
them possible. 
So what is the energy that I 

772
00:44:54,300 --> 00:44:58,300
want to bring here that I can 
help them to facilitate that 

773
00:44:58,300 --> 00:45:01,200
feeling for themselves? 
What would it look like for me 

774
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:03,700
to embody the way that I want to
feel? 

775
00:45:04,300 --> 00:45:07,500
So that's the first part of this
one with defining that narrow. 

776
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:09,000
Native and not letting it 
Define. 

777
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,800
You is just really taking a 
second to notice. 

778
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:15,100
Those physiological changes that
you can recognize happening 

779
00:45:15,100 --> 00:45:19,000
within your body and thinking 
about, all right, how else do I 

780
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,900
actually want to feel? 
How do I want to show up in this

781
00:45:21,900 --> 00:45:23,500
situation? 
And what does it look like for 

782
00:45:23,500 --> 00:45:27,000
me to embody that maybe that 
looks like you taking a really 

783
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:29,000
nice few. 
Deep breaths like three deep 

784
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,500
breaths and just like, 
re-centering bringing your shot,

785
00:45:31,500 --> 00:45:34,300
like rolling your shoulders 
back, moving your neck from side

786
00:45:34,300 --> 00:45:37,100
to side and then, you know, 
stepping out of your car or 

787
00:45:37,100 --> 00:45:40,400
stepping. 
Into that work, work room 

788
00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:42,300
meeting or whatever. 
It is that you've got on that's 

789
00:45:42,300 --> 00:45:45,100
happening and just kind of 
re-centering yourself, 

790
00:45:45,100 --> 00:45:47,700
regathering yourself and giving 
yourself the opportunity to 

791
00:45:47,700 --> 00:45:51,400
think about like how do I 
actually want to feel here so 

792
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:54,100
that you're not just on 
autopilot with your feelings and

793
00:45:54,100 --> 00:45:56,600
your brains not just running 
with that automatic recipe? 

794
00:45:56,900 --> 00:46:00,800
Now, the next part of this is 
calling out your inner critic, 

795
00:46:00,900 --> 00:46:03,900
so is this actually what you're 
worried about. 

796
00:46:03,900 --> 00:46:08,900
So when we start to worry about 
what somebody else, Sphinx what 

797
00:46:08,900 --> 00:46:12,300
that actually means. 
And when we really start to get 

798
00:46:12,300 --> 00:46:15,400
upset about that, the reason 
that that happens is because 

799
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:19,200
there is a little part of you 
somewhere or maybe it's a big 

800
00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:21,900
part, but most of the time 
there's a little part of you 

801
00:46:21,900 --> 00:46:26,500
that actually believes what 
they're saying. 

802
00:46:26,500 --> 00:46:31,600
So for example, if you were 
worried again let's just use a 

803
00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:34,600
really General example. 
You had stepped on the scales 

804
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:39,200
over the weekend and you realize
that You have put on three kilos

805
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:41,500
and you're on a bit of a weight 
loss journey. 

806
00:46:41,500 --> 00:46:44,500
And so you're feeling really 
disappointed about that and now 

807
00:46:44,500 --> 00:46:47,200
you're like, I'm so worried 
like, you know, I'm worrying 

808
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:48,900
about what everybody else is 
thinking. 

809
00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:52,100
They're probably thinking that, 
you know, my tights, look 

810
00:46:52,100 --> 00:46:55,500
terrible on my jeans, look to 
title, like, whatever it is that

811
00:46:55,500 --> 00:46:58,500
you're worrying about and you 
kind of push that to the side, 

812
00:46:58,500 --> 00:47:02,300
you're like, okay, whatever. 
So this is your inner critic 

813
00:47:02,500 --> 00:47:05,700
talking to you as Melissa 
ambrosini would say you're in a 

814
00:47:05,700 --> 00:47:10,000
mean girl. 
And what Happens is if somebody 

815
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:14,000
else makes and it could even 
just be the most passing of 

816
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:17,700
comments, they mean nothing by 
it, but you buy into that with 

817
00:47:17,700 --> 00:47:21,200
the meaning that you are giving 
up because of the thoughts that 

818
00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:23,700
you already have, because of the
things you're already worried 

819
00:47:23,700 --> 00:47:26,100
about. 
So you might be going out to 

820
00:47:26,100 --> 00:47:30,900
lunch with a friend and maybe 
you decide to I don't know, have

821
00:47:30,900 --> 00:47:35,000
a glass of wine or get a burger 
instead of a salad and they 

822
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:37,400
might ask you, oh, what are you 
having a new say burger and then

823
00:47:37,600 --> 00:47:39,400
Oh, the burger looks good. 
I don't know. 

824
00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:42,500
Like I'm trying to lose a little
bit of weight or I had a really 

825
00:47:42,500 --> 00:47:44,400
big breakfast. 
I'm just going to get a salad. 

826
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:48,400
You start worrying. 
The overthinking starts to kick 

827
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:51,700
in all of a sudden. 
It's like, whoa, how did I get 

828
00:47:51,700 --> 00:47:52,500
here? 
Oh my God. 

829
00:47:52,500 --> 00:47:54,700
Are they judging me? 
Like, what are they thinking? 

830
00:47:54,700 --> 00:47:59,100
Is that what they think? 
No, no, this is your inner 

831
00:47:59,100 --> 00:48:01,000
critic. 
This is something you are 

832
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:03,600
actually worried about. 
They have just hit a nerve. 

833
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:07,200
They have. 
Without even realizing touched 

834
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,600
on something that could even be 
subconscious for you. 

835
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:13,400
That you don't even notice that 
you're feeling worried about. 

836
00:48:13,700 --> 00:48:16,300
So this is what I mean by 
calling out, that inner critic. 

837
00:48:16,300 --> 00:48:18,800
When you really start to worry 
about what somebody else is 

838
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:21,600
thinking just stop for a second 
and think, hang on a second. 

839
00:48:21,700 --> 00:48:23,400
What am I worried about here 
though? 

840
00:48:23,500 --> 00:48:27,300
Like, I'm worrying that they're 
thinking, my jeans are too 

841
00:48:27,300 --> 00:48:29,900
tight. 
Well is it actually do? 

842
00:48:29,900 --> 00:48:33,300
I actually think that my jeans 
are too tight and if that's the 

843
00:48:33,300 --> 00:48:35,000
case, fuck it. 
Do they look good? 

844
00:48:35,100 --> 00:48:36,100
Good. 
Do you feel good? 

845
00:48:36,100 --> 00:48:39,800
Then go and have a good day. 
Like enjoy those jeans strut 

846
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:43,600
your stuff around, but you see 
where I'm going with this. 

847
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:49,600
We really want to start to be 
aware of what your inner critic 

848
00:48:50,100 --> 00:48:51,800
and what you are actually 
worried about. 

849
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:54,000
Instead of placing that 
responsibility out words of 

850
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,300
yourself with somebody else and 
worrying, about what they're 

851
00:48:56,300 --> 00:48:58,900
thinking recognize, this is 
actually what I'm thinking and 

852
00:48:58,900 --> 00:49:03,500
what I'm worried about here. 
Now, my next way to increase 

853
00:49:03,500 --> 00:49:07,500
your self-worth is, Expect 
opinions. 

854
00:49:07,500 --> 00:49:12,400
Again, this was a really big one
for me, expect and accept that 

855
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:14,800
people are going to have 
opinions of you. 

856
00:49:14,900 --> 00:49:17,800
It's only human, but that 
doesn't mean that their opinion 

857
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:20,600
has to Define you or dictate how
you feel. 

858
00:49:20,900 --> 00:49:24,000
So another really common quote 
that you probably have seen 

859
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:27,300
around before is somebody else's
opinion, is none of my business.

860
00:49:27,700 --> 00:49:30,300
I know for the clients of ours 
that were online for this 

861
00:49:30,300 --> 00:49:34,000
Workshop, that was a really, 
like, defining quote, that they 

862
00:49:34,008 --> 00:49:36,800
were like, oh my God, I Of that.
I'm going to keep that in mind. 

863
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:38,900
I've written it down. 
I've got it on Post-it notes or 

864
00:49:38,900 --> 00:49:41,500
whatever. 
So, I really like this one 

865
00:49:41,500 --> 00:49:45,600
because instead of feeling like,
you need to change everybody 

866
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:48,300
else's opinions. 
It's like, you know what? 

867
00:49:48,300 --> 00:49:52,400
I'm just accepting and expecting
the fact instead of setting that

868
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:55,300
expectation that all this person
isn't going to think about me or

869
00:49:55,300 --> 00:49:58,900
isn't going to have opinions, 
let's be realistic. 

870
00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:04,200
Like everybody is only human, it
is only human to have opinions 

871
00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:08,000
and perspectives. 
And to put our thoughts out 

872
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:09,800
there, whether that's you 
putting your thoughts out there 

873
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:13,400
or somebody else. 
Also remembering everybody 

874
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:18,100
else's opinions and perspectives
are created and shaped by every 

875
00:50:18,100 --> 00:50:21,200
single experience that they have
had in their life up until 

876
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:24,100
literally today. 
Like, the day that you're 

877
00:50:24,100 --> 00:50:27,300
talking to them, you don't know 
what's been going on for them in

878
00:50:27,300 --> 00:50:29,700
the last few hours in the last 
few days in the last few weeks, 

879
00:50:29,700 --> 00:50:32,300
what they went through when they
were five years old. 

880
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:38,000
So when we can bring in this 
idea of expecting opinions 

881
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:41,600
expecting and accepting that 
other people are going to To 

882
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:44,400
have opinions of the world of 
you. 

883
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:50,200
It's not an opinion that has to 
define or dictate how you feel. 

884
00:50:50,500 --> 00:50:53,200
Because at the end of the day, 
that opinion, that perspective, 

885
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:56,700
that they have that value, that 
they're holding that belief that

886
00:50:56,700 --> 00:51:01,800
they're pushing, it's not yours,
you don't have to take that on 

887
00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:04,900
board, you can choose not to 
take that on board as well. 

888
00:51:05,100 --> 00:51:07,800
You can choose just to have a 
look at it for what it is. 

889
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:11,300
Recognized it for what it is. 
Okay, I see that this person 

890
00:51:11,500 --> 00:51:13,700
Having an opinion or a 
perspective about something 

891
00:51:13,700 --> 00:51:16,700
that's called that's on them. 
It actually has nothing to do 

892
00:51:16,700 --> 00:51:20,000
with me. 
Even if it is an opinion, like 

893
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:22,400
oh, I don't think you should be 
doing that or like I you sure 

894
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:25,100
you want to make that life 
choice and you're like, yeah, 

895
00:51:25,100 --> 00:51:27,300
I'm pretty sure like I've just 
bought the house or I've just 

896
00:51:27,300 --> 00:51:33,400
changed my job like whatever 
just like like it says, everyone

897
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:36,900
is going to have their opinions.
It doesn't have to Define you or

898
00:51:36,900 --> 00:51:41,300
dictate the way that you feel. 
And then my very last one that 

899
00:51:41,300 --> 00:51:44,600
I'm going to leave you with is 
to get perspective with some 

900
00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:49,300
reframing. 
So maybe this is for the people 

901
00:51:49,300 --> 00:51:52,600
Pleasers. 
This is for the helpers, the 

902
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:56,600
empaths, the people that are 
seeking approval with this one, 

903
00:51:56,600 --> 00:52:01,100
it is getting that perspective. 
Maybe you've prioritized 

904
00:52:01,100 --> 00:52:04,100
yourself in a situation, and 
that feels a bit uncomfortable. 

905
00:52:04,100 --> 00:52:06,900
You said, yes to you. 
But that also means you said no 

906
00:52:06,900 --> 00:52:09,500
to something or somebody else. 
Else? 

907
00:52:09,500 --> 00:52:11,300
What I want you to think about 
here. 

908
00:52:11,500 --> 00:52:18,700
How is this a yes to me? 
How could this potentially be 

909
00:52:18,700 --> 00:52:22,100
good for them? 
How is this a yes to me? 

910
00:52:22,100 --> 00:52:26,300
How does this feel good for me 
and remember other people don't 

911
00:52:26,300 --> 00:52:30,200
get to make your decisions, you 
make your own decisions and that

912
00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:36,500
is so empowering. 
Now, I'm going to actually leave

913
00:52:36,600 --> 00:52:40,300
a few different podcast, episode
links in the notes, as well, 

914
00:52:40,300 --> 00:52:44,000
because like I said earlier, 
this is so closely, Redentor 

915
00:52:44,700 --> 00:52:46,800
related. 
Linked. 

916
00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:51,600
I just tried to link the word 
linked and related together and 

917
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:55,300
that nearly came out. 
Very weird, guys. 

918
00:52:55,300 --> 00:52:59,700
Like I said this baby brain is 
just really, really on point 

919
00:52:59,700 --> 00:53:04,500
today. 
This sense of worrying about 

920
00:53:04,500 --> 00:53:08,400
what other people think and this
idea of that sense of worry is 

921
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:12,400
really linked to your identity 
and who you are as a person, 

922
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:15,800
your sense of self. 
And so, what I'm going to do, 

923
00:53:15,800 --> 00:53:18,900
because I actually have three 
potentially for but I think 

924
00:53:18,900 --> 00:53:21,600
there's three other podcast 
episodes on. 

925
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:25,300
Who am I like, what is my sense 
of identity? 

926
00:53:25,300 --> 00:53:27,900
Who am I as a person? 
What are the labels I have? 

927
00:53:27,900 --> 00:53:30,400
What do I like, like? 
Who am I? 

928
00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:37,400
Because that is such a huge 
question that can get Blacktop 

929
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:40,200
do I and tapped away and tucked 
away over time that all of a 

930
00:53:40,200 --> 00:53:43,400
sudden, we realize we look back 
and it's like 10 or 15 years 

931
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:45,500
since we've really had an 
opportunity and giving ourselves

932
00:53:45,500 --> 00:53:48,100
an opportunity to think about 
who we are that. 

933
00:53:48,100 --> 00:53:50,500
It's like, whoa, I actually 
don't even know who I am 

934
00:53:50,500 --> 00:53:52,500
anymore. 
Like, you know, I've been on 

935
00:53:52,500 --> 00:53:54,700
autopilot for so long. 
I haven't given myself an 

936
00:53:54,700 --> 00:53:56,600
opportunity to think about these
things. 

937
00:53:56,800 --> 00:53:59,200
So I'm going to leave the 
podcast. 

938
00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:01,800
Episode links there for you as 
well. 

939
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:05,600
I know that one of the episodes 
is episode 2. 

940
00:54:06,700 --> 00:54:11,000
Because it's my most listened to
your podcast episode ever and it

941
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:14,300
always pops up in my analytics 
to tell me that it is still 

942
00:54:14,300 --> 00:54:18,300
getting listened to. 
So let me just have a quick look

943
00:54:18,300 --> 00:54:25,500
and I'll see if I can really 
quickly a bring it up, if I look

944
00:54:25,500 --> 00:54:30,300
at podcasts. 
No, it's not coming up. 

945
00:54:30,300 --> 00:54:33,300
Let me really quickly. 
I'm only going to keep you for 

946
00:54:33,300 --> 00:54:35,600
literally another five seconds 
on this because if it doesn't 

947
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:39,000
Come up then that's fine. 
I'm just going to leave them in 

948
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:41,900
the notes. 
Can I search? 

949
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:47,100
No. 
So I will leave those podcast 

950
00:54:47,100 --> 00:54:51,200
episode links and podcast 
episode numbers in the show 

951
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:54,100
notes for you. 
I will also leave the 

952
00:54:54,100 --> 00:54:57,000
recommendations that I gave for 
you guys to in the show notes 

953
00:54:57,500 --> 00:55:00,500
and yeah, that's it for me from 
today. 

954
00:55:00,500 --> 00:55:03,800
So I hope that there's been a 
few things that you have taken 

955
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:06,500
away from this. 
I hope that you are feeling like

956
00:55:07,300 --> 00:55:11,400
you can be empowered to really 
be moving towards creating that 

957
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:13,300
sense of self. 
Within you. 

958
00:55:13,700 --> 00:55:16,800
Because when you can create that
sense of self-worth, that 

959
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:20,200
self-love that self-confidence, 
that self empowerment within 

960
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:23,800
you, then actually doesn't 
matter what other people think. 

961
00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:27,400
And again, they're going to be 
thinking things anyway, so let 

962
00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:30,900
them think expect to the 
opinions except the opinions. 

963
00:55:31,500 --> 00:55:34,700
It's except sorry the fact that 
they're going to have opinions 

964
00:55:34,700 --> 00:55:37,200
and just be cool with it. 
Be okay with it like whatever 

965
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:40,100
that's fine. 
You do you I am working on me. 

966
00:55:40,100 --> 00:55:44,600
I am working on focusing on me. 
And improving my sense of self. 

967
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:49,300
My self-worth myself, love my 
self care and that is the most 

968
00:55:49,300 --> 00:55:54,900
important thing. 
If you liked this episode, I 

969
00:55:54,900 --> 00:55:58,200
would love for you to screenshot
and tag me on Instagram. 

970
00:55:58,400 --> 00:56:02,200
You guys have no idea how much 
that absolutely makes my day. 

971
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:04,700
I get such a big smile on my 
face. 

972
00:56:04,900 --> 00:56:07,600
Thank you so much for hanging 
out with me today and I hope 

973
00:56:07,600 --> 00:56:10,100
that you have got them something
from this episode. 

974
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:13,100
If you want to hang out more you
can search the nourishing, Amy 

975
00:56:13,100 --> 00:56:16,700
podcast community in Facebook 
and come and join our group. 

976
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:20,500
We're talking all things life, 
love overwhelm and everything in

977
00:56:20,508 --> 00:56:23,300
between, you can share. 
Sure, you're funny, memes your 

978
00:56:23,300 --> 00:56:25,700
stories, and all of the life 
stuff. 

979
00:56:26,700 --> 00:56:29,000
If you would like to get in 
contact with me, please don't 

980
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:31,600
hesitate to reach out and shoot 
me a message on Instagram. 

981
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:34,600
You can find me at a me 
underscore Rankin. 

982
00:56:35,100 --> 00:56:38,300
Last but not least, it really 
helps to support my podcast. 

983
00:56:38,300 --> 00:56:41,300
When you subscribe and leave a 
review on whatever app it is, 

984
00:56:41,300 --> 00:56:44,300
that you listen to this podcast 
on, I am just a little 

985
00:56:44,300 --> 00:56:47,900
independent podcaster and every 
subscriber and review helps my 

986
00:56:47,900 --> 00:56:51,900
podcast to be seen and heard by 
more people and to help. 

987
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:54,000
More people get their Sparkle 
back. 

988
00:56:54,200 --> 00:56:56,400
Thank you again so much for 
being with me and have a 

989
00:56:56,408 --> 00:56:57,500
fantastic day.