Welcome to the nourishing. Amy podcast.
I'm Amy Rankin. I am an emotional intelligence
and life coach as Speaker, a Creator, and a wellness.
Chaser, I have created this podcast for you to learn how
'but mindset changes and get really actionable.
Takeaways to find out who you are, what lights you up, how you
can love yourself again and how to live your best life.
Give yourself the space to welcome in more self-care and
Parents reduce feelings like overwhelm and stress and let
find your sparkle again. Are you ready?
Let's do it. Hello and welcome to episode 108
of the nourishing. Amy podcast, as promised today's
episode is going to be all about self-sabotage and
procrastination. I'm going to be teaching you
about the two different areas of the brain that get engaged when
we lean into procrastinating patterns.
I guess you would say and I hope that this helps you to
understand more About what's actually going on in your brain.
When you do start to notice that you're buying into excuses, or
the procrastination is coming up for you.
But even cooler is what I've noticed with a few of my clients
since I ran this Workshop over with bu happiness college, is
that they've actively been able to notice this, and they can
actually like kind of watch it playing out in their brain and
they're like, well this is exactly what Amy was talking
about in that Workshop the other day.
So like, I just mentioned, This is a workshop that I ran for bu
happiness college and with our beautiful clients over there.
So for those of you that don't know, which I'm sure most of you
do, I am currently working with bu happiness college with my
one-on-one clients and also for our group Workshop session.
So I run a workshop on a specific topic every month as
well. So once a month, I choose a
topic that I'm either really interested in or that I noticed
that my clients would really like to be King on and I get
their suggestions and questions and things like that and put
them all together. So there's another one that I
ran last month which I'm also going to run you guys through to
because I just think the content in it and yeah, just everything.
It was such a good Workshop. It was on self-worth and
negative self-talk and things like that.
So definitely going to be doing that for you guys in the next
few episodes as well. But this is a Pretty highly
requested topic. And to be honest,
procrastination, is something that happens to all of us.
Like, I notice it coming up for me.
I know that when I talk to a lot of my clients and we have our
sessions procrastination and buying into our own excuses is
definitely something that we feel gets in our own way of
really taking action on the things that we really want to be
doing and gets in the way, then, of course, of helping us to lean
towards how we want to be feeling as well.
So before I jump, Into all of that, I am going to give you my
recommendations now. I have two this week because one
is a bit of a, light-hearted silly recommendation.
The other one is an actual proper recommendation.
So this silly one and the light-hearted one is, if you
haven't had a chance to check it out, Byron Bay's on Netflix, if
you're looking for a TV show, to literally just switch your brain
off and not take seriously at all.
This is your show, it's a reality show.
And when I say reality, I'm really putting that in like
quotations because to be fair, like the whole thing is so
scripted but it's just so light-hearted.
It's something that I have had on in the background.
If I've just been like, cooking dinner or if I've had a really
emotionally overwhelming day with Ali and he's gone down for
bed, I might just pop an episode on just to kind of wind down and
help to switch my brain off before I jump into like you
know, cooking dinner cleaning the Soul of the things that
happen. So it's yeah, look, there's so
many. Like, if you Google Byron Bay's,
it will come up. You like you can find out what
it's about there but it's a show that follows around this group
of influences that live in Byron or that have moved to Byron Bay
for a, you know, certain reason, whatever it is in their career
and kind of follows them around. So it's very silly, it's very
scripted. But Shameless podcast actually
did a really interesting feature on it.
I think maybe two weeks ago now, maybe it was last week on the
Thursday episode, but they were saying that it was really
interesting. I don't know that we and when I
say we I mean like, I guess women in my demographic but also
Australians in general, I don't know that we are the target
market for it. So there were giving a Really
interesting statistics over on Shameless and they were saying
that there was also a reality show called yummy mummies that I
think was originally released. They were saying back in 2017
and it didn't do very well in Australia and it didn't get
picked up for a second season or anything like that.
We were really weren't too interested in it here.
But once it hit Netflix and was featuring in America, it went
absolutely crazy and it was like, Like two years later.
So I think it was then 2019 or something.
They were saying that it was released over in America and all
of the stars or whatever you would call them.
I guess they're not really contestants.
Yeah, we'll say stars all of the stars of the show of yummy
mummies their social media and Instagrams and things just went
crazy like overnight because it was such a hit.
So they were kind of talking over on Shameless and saying
that maybe it's a similar kind of concept here, where a as
Australians where maybe not necessarily the proper target
market that they were really aiming for, and that maybe it is
another show that could potentially be quite popular
overseas, which I kind of tend to agree with, I guess, because
if you take away the in my personal opinion, terrible
acting and the scripting, the very obvious scripting and you
just take the show for what it is and you take on board like
the landscape and the I guess just like that particular part
of the world and the beautiful beaches that they show and
things like that, I guess it would be quite interesting.
It's just that maybe because we live here.
We're used to beautiful beaches and, you know, all of that kind
of stuff. Anyway, not going to talk about
Byron Bay's anymore. So, that's my silly
recommendation. But my actual proper
recommendation for you guys. This week is also if you jump
over onto my blog, So it's literally just a Amy Rankin.com
and I have put up a post with all of the recipes at the moment
that Ali is really, really loving.
So I have gotten quite a few questions through.
Like when I put up a question box over on my Instagram story
and people will comment and say can you please share more of
what Ali eats? So that I can get some ideas.
Which, of course I have definitely been trying to do but
I thought why not put The recipes all in one spot for you
guys. And I've put the recipe link.
So there's like maybe two or three that I've just popped to
the recipe in for you because it's something that I've maybe
just like Madoff the car for, that's very easy, but if it's
actually a specific recipe from a website that's like one of my
go twos and I'm always using that recipe.
I literally just put the link in there for you and there's some
really great options in there. I'd find at the moment, Ali is
definitely snacking. More rather than actually like
having full proper meals. So breakfast is probably his
only full proper really big meal of the day at the moment and he
will have like, he literally it's more than me at the moment,
but apart from that then during the day, so he has his afternoon
nap at about 12:30 p.m. 1 p.m. So he'll have his breakfast in
the morning. When he wakes up, I try and get
him to eat some lunch but it's more of a snack.
Of whatever I've made. And then also, for dinner.
He used to really enjoy sitting down and having a big dinner as
well, something like spaghetti, but he hasn't really been super
into that the last few weeks. So I've had to be a little bit
creative and definitely had to work on reducing my expectations
for the amount of foods that he is eating and just really
working with what we can, which has been a very big learning
curve for me. Something that I Talk a lot
about is feeling frustrated and whether that frustration is with
someone or something in your life, be it at work, be it a
partner, be it, friends family members children, or that kind
of stuff. Generally, we feel frustrated or
disappointed, if we have set an expectation that's not being
met. So I really had to call myself
out and be super super aware of expectations that I've been
setting over Ali and his eating, you guys would probably have
seen as well if you follow me over on Instagram.
Graham and again this is also why this podcast episode is like
three weeks late in dropping, we just had such a bad run over the
last three to four weeks, all he got.
He picked up a cold and had a bit of the flu that he then
passed around to the rest of the household.
Of course about three or four weeks ago.
And then two weeks ago, we went to a play center and he picked
up gastro unfortunately, which look like, you know, it's it's
going around. It's absolutely insane when I
shared that we had gastro going through our house.
I had so many people responding. I actually ended up having to
take Ali to the doctors because he was still having symptoms
after about a week. And I was getting a bit worried
about him so and the doctor actually said as well, there's
been a huge outbreak of gastro around our general area on the
Central Coast as well. So yeah, it's just look like the
last four weeks and then top that with just like, you know,
Being pregnant trying to fit all my work in.
Keep the house clean and tidy, it's just been a lot, you guys.
And I honestly just haven't felt that I could really show up in
the podcasting space and give you guys the energy that I think
you really deserve in podcast episodes as well.
So, here I am from for about four weeks late with this
podcast episode. But we're here.
And like I said, in Monday's episode, I did a little Monday
motivation for you guys on overwhelm.
I actually Have like probably six different podcast topics
ready to go, that I want to record on and I also put a
little question box up on my Instagram last week and I also
asked over in the glow up Facebook page that we have
Facebook group. I also asked a little question
in there about what podcast topics you guys would like me to
be talking about and I got some really great options there as
well. So we've got so many amazing and
very interesting, cool topics coming up over the next you
know, six. To eight weeks.
Thanks a largely to you guys as well for your ideas and your
suggestions and your questions which I always love.
So please feel free. If you ever are feeling like I
really want to know more about these for.
I'm wondering about this, I'm noticing this coming up in my
life definitely come and just send me an inbox, let me know.
And I can definitely be recording some episodes for you.
But yeah. So that blog post on all his
favorite foods and snacks are he's currently 15 months old.
But to be honest like some of these meals that Included in
their, their actual meals that like iron and I have made for
ourselves and then tried it with Ali and he's ended up really
enjoying it. So it's broken up into
breakfast, so things like French toast, loaded oats loaded,
wheat, big stuff like that and then also snacks and meals.
So, smoothies the zucchini and corn fritters, if you've seen
them over on my Instagram, the last few weeks you may have seen
them this morning and Ali throwing them on the floor.
But they were hit last week so the recipe for them is there.
Yeah, there's some chicken potato, and broccoli fingers,
there is tuna spinach and rice. Cheesy patties, there is spinach
corn, and passed, a muffin zucchini slice, a banana and
spinach pancakes, or pikelets. If you like to make them for a
snack, the banana date, and Cheon muffins that I make all
the time. Like, I would say, I make them
at least once a fortnight, they're so delicious.
But yeah, they're one of our absolute faves and That recipes
there. I also popped up a recipe for
the thermomix. Chicken, spinach bacon and
pumpkin risotto that I made last week.
I got quite a few questions on that as well over on Instagram.
So that recipe is there. And also, there is a super,
super easy meatball pasta bake as well, which has also been a
massive hit. So all of those recipes are over
there for you, literally just go to any rank and.com, okay?
Now let's actually start talking About procrastination.
So the quote. So those of you that our clients
with bu happiness college would know that we always start our
workshops with a quote that we have found.
That is relevant to the topic. And I am so obsessed with this
quote and I think it really paints a fantastic picture of
what self-sabotage and procrastination actually is.
So self-sabotage is knowing exactly what you need to do to
improve but not doing it. It's procrastinating doing the
very things that, you know, will make you happier.
It's waiting until things are 100% perfect, until you do them.
It's remaining in the comfort zone because of fear of failure
or the uneasiness of change. Are you a prisoner of your own
thoughts? It's time to take responsibility
acknowledge. You have, put yourself in this
mindset but also that you have the power to Free Yourself.
I just found that quote, so powerful.
I love it so much, and I thought, when I think about self
sabotage, a procrastination, personally for myself, it really
resonated. Now, if you guys aren't
familiar, like I said, we run these workshops.
So I do a workshop once a month and then there's also Declan and
just and Elizabeth who also run workshops.
So essentially we have a workshop every single week and
so our workshops are Runners group workshops.
So any of our members can Online live.
If they're available live that night and they can jump on and
they can run through the workbook that we've created and
the content with us together as coaches or they're all saved and
available is replays in your member resource Library as a
client with us over at bu happiness College to.
So if learning about this stuff, is your jam and if you're like,
I would love to be able to have access to a new mindset topic
every single week and have a workbook to run through and
different tools and methods and things like that.
That We're teaching you guys so that you can be learning more
about yourself. Definitely send me a message and
let me know because I can help you to understand what the what?
Sorry I'm getting my words mixed up what our program, entails all
that kind of stuff and whether you feel like it would be the
right fit for you. So let's actually have a look at
the difference between self-sabotage and
procrastination here to start off with.
So I always start off with creating awareness in my
workshops about like, what is this?
So that we can start to create Awareness for yourself because
as you always know as I always say, sorry and you would know
that we can't change something if we're not aware of it.
So, self-sabotage is, when you undermine your own goals and
values. It's acknowledging that there is
something that you genuinely want, and believe is good for
you, but then you do things that directly conflict with that
goal. So self-sabotage can be
conscious, but it can also be unconscious as well.
So conscious examples of self. Sabotage would be things like
knowing that you need to cook dinner but scrolling on your
phone instead or knowing that you really want to clean the
house but watching an episode of maps and sitting on the lounge,
stuff like that. That's all very conscious forms
of self-sabotage, unconscious forms of self-sabotage, can be
things like, withdrawing from a relationship when problems are
arising because of fear of previous relationship patterns.
So they're definitely more, I guess like trauma-based.
If we would like to use the word trauma, Unconscious self
sabotage that it's a pattern of behavior or thinking that you
may not even notice comes up for you or is happening for you,
essentially, because you are trying to protect yourself from
something that has happened before.
So this is where when we start to notice a lot of these
unconscious Behavior happening where it can be really useful to
work with a coach because we can help you to call this out to
recognize this but also to move through it and work through that
past trauma or These patterns and behaviors that you have
created to keep yourself safe, and create that safeness, is
that even a word safety for yourself.
Now, let's have a look at the difference between them and
procrastination. So procrastination is the action
of unnecessarily and voluntarily delaying, or postponing
something, despite knowing that there will be negative
consequences for doing so. So if we have a look at some
examples of where you might notice self-sabotage, your
procrastination, Coming up for you.
There's so so many different examples and I really do want
you to think about what resonates with you here.
Or as I'm going through these examples.
What about you like in your life?
Specifically, where do you notice it?
So, we could notice it with things like studying, it could
be things like taking action on achieving your goal that you've
set for yourself. You could be procrastinating on
leaving a relationship and staying comfortable in that
comfortability of that relationship.
Even though, you know, deep down it's probably Not the
relationship that you would like to be in that.
You can Envision yourself in for the rest of your life.
It could be something like moving house.
Maybe leaving a job that you don't like.
Potentially we could look at wanting to change habits, like
drinking less eating healthier having less screen time.
This is where a lot of that, self-sabotage Behavior can come
in where it's like, I know that I want to change these things,
but it feels hard, right? Or it's my comfort zone.
We could also look at procrastination on those daily
mundane tasks or Things as well as those daily rituals or habits
and things like that that you have for yourself.
So it could be your morning routine.
It could be a certain aspect of your morning or evening routine
that you notice is not really vibing for you.
That is then also resulting in procrastination or self-sabotage
as well. So with all that being said, I
do just invite you to just take a second and think where do I
notice like if I was to think about, where have I been
procrastinating? Lately.
What areas of life? Do I notice coming up for me
that's resonating here. What do you notice?
Where is that self sabotage or that procrastination coming up
for you, what things are you putting off either
subconsciously or maybe unconsciously, sorry consciously
or unconsciously subconscious and unconscious of the same
word, Amy? Okay.
So now that you've been able to create a little bit of
awareness, I want to teach you about the different areas of the
brain that affect self-sabotage and procrastination.
Like I said for me when I learned this, this was my Really
big. Aha moment where I was like,
whoa, I really wish I knew this like 15 years ago because it
would have really helped a lot. So we have our limbic system and
we also have our prefrontal cortex.
So these are the two main areas that are affected when we're
really looking at self-sabotage and procrastination.
These are the two areas of the brain that are really firing.
So with our limbic system, this is our reptilian Brain.
This is our emotional fight or flight, survival responses.
It's our limbic system is our Behavior like getting food
looking for danger reproduction caring for yourself.
Keeping yourself safe may be caring for children, looking out
for your friends, that kind of stuff.
This is our limbic system. It's it's a lot of the behaviors
that we're doing super regularly on autopilot without even
realizing that we're doing it even things like breathing, you
know when you're hungry you go and make So food.
This is our limbic system. Keeping you safe and doing the
things that you need to do to keep yourself Alive.
Now, what we also have is the prefrontal cortex.
Now, this is your logical thinking it is, you're planning.
It is your understanding of consequences and emotions.
It's your ability to be calming yourself down your prefrontal.
Cortex is your critical thinking.
It's your debating. Its considering things without
getting sued. Super emotional.
So this is our prefrontal cortex.
So it's our logical. Thinking things like I need to
do this, I should be getting this done.
It's the reasoning that comes in of like, yep, I'm going to do
this today. These are all the things on my
to-do list. I need to get this, this, this,
and this done, that's our logical thinking, it's our
prefrontal cortex when we think about that emotional side or the
limbic system, it's the things that then come in, like our, but
I don't feel like doing that. I don't really want to do that.
You can see the difference in the thinking patterns that we
can start to notice there. Now, I'm going to give you a
really, really simple. Real life example that I can.
Pretty much guarantee has happened to you before because
every single person that was online live for this Workshop
was laughing and resonating with this.
But also, when you can see how this can happen in such a simple
task, you will hopefully also be able to start to notice it
coming up in other areas for you as well.
So, my example, Sample that I have for you is getting out of
the shower. So, let's just say, for example,
it's been a long day, or maybe it's the middle of winter and
you're really looking forward to a nice warm shower.
Now, your logical brain, you've been in the shower for say, five
or ten minutes, go logical brain is thinking.
All right, let's get out of the shower.
I've got other things to do. So you're also going through
your list of, like, I want to get out of the shower, if it's
the evening, it's like I want to read my book.
I'm going to go and make myself my cup of tea.
I want to do my skin. Care.
It's your logical brain. Like I've got stuff to do.
Come on, let's go now. If you wait too long, your
emotional or limbic system and side of your brain kicks in and
starts to think maybe things like hang on a second.
This is really nice. I want to stay here in the
shower, it's warm, its relaxing. Like, I like it in here.
I don't really want to get out. I know that prefrontal cortex
and logical thinking you're telling me.
That I've got these other things to do and I know it makes sense
for me to get out, but I don't want to.
So this is the big difference here.
So some other examples that you might notice this coming up in
the simple that kind of day-to-day things is getting out
of bed. Maybe putting your shoes on and
going to the gym or going for a run.
You could be looking at things like cleaning the house studying
doing an assessment planning for a meeting that you have at work
or a presentation. That you have coming up those
types of things. So we noticed that our logical
brain is like, okay, cool. Time to sit down and do my study
or time to sit down and get this Presentation done, full.
Oh my gosh, my words today, you guys definitely not helpful to
forget words when you're trying to record a podcast episode.
So we notice these things coming up, where the logical brain is
like, okay. Other stuff to do things on my
to-do list, it makes sense for me to stop doing this thing now
or to like kick my butt into gear and get out of bed or put
my shoes on. I'll put the YouTube video on to
do my workout or I'm hungry. Let's make lunch.
Those types of things. We notice, then that the
emotional side or that limbic system kicks in, and that's when
our excuses can start to come up.
So, I want you to again, take a second and just think about
where do I notice this coming up for me?
Like, where do I notice the procrastination kicking in?
Maybe it's getting out of the shower, maybe it's getting out
of bed and not scrolling on your phone in the morning.
Maybe it is, tied in your house, cleaning house cooking dinners
of an evening doing your meal planning and Prepping on the
weekends, whatever it is for you.
Where is your procrastination coming up?
Where are you buying into your own excuses?
So again, the excuses in this example is things like but it's
nice in here, like I want to stay in the shower.
It's nice and warm. I feel relaxed Where are your
excuses coming up and what do they look like?
When you notice there's a certain area that you're
procrastinating in, maybe if you're scrolling on your phone,
it's like all. But like I'm just, I'm just
going to be on my phone for 5 minutes.
I'm just taking a time to switch my brain off and relax, or I'm
just getting a little bit of work done.
I'm just responding to emails those types of things guys,
they're still excuses. So there's a lot of different
reasons why self-sabotage and procrastination can happen.
I'm going to run you through a few of What they might be so
that you can again start to create another level of
awareness for you instead of just being like, okay cool.
This is something that I do. So there's a few different ones
like I said, there's actually so many I've just kind of narrowed
it down to what I would personally say is the top six
and I will run you through what they are.
So one of the reasons that I have is that you have too many
options sometimes. When you give yourself too many
options, it can feel really overwhelming and when you feel
overwhelmed sometimes that can also lead to shutting down and
just not making a decision at all or going for one of your
destruction techniques, like scrolling on your phone like
listening to a podcast like basically doing anything apart
from the things that are making you feel overwhelmed.
So we want to look at how can I reduce some of my options and
I'm going to talk to you about that in about 5 minutes.
Another reason that self to self-sabotage, sorry and
procrastination can happen is perfectionism.
So this is a thinking pattern that you can get stuck in or
cognitive distortion. If you're familiar with my
mindset series that I did a few months ago, perfectionism and
setting really high standards on yourself and having that high
achiever driver can be a really good thing, but it can also be
quite limiting as well. So, if you notice that you've
got a high achiever driver, if you notice that you can be a bit
of a perfectionist, if you're really good at beating, Self up,
if you're really good at pointing out what you've done
wrong, instead of focusing on what you're doing really well,
or what you feel like you've done, right?
There's a good chance that you lean towards having a bit of a
perfectionism driver here. So we want to work with our
strengths and also notice the limitations, so our strengths of
our perfectionism or high achiever driver can be that.
Yeah, maybe you are able to get a lot of things done, or maybe
you really like to put out a high quality of work now,
They're not bad things. But when we look at the
limitations of that perfectionism or high achiever
driver, what we can also see is that it can be linked to
negative, self-talk it can be linked to procrastination, it
can be linked to self-sabotage, really buying into your own
excuses, putting your own road-book blocks into place.
I would say with that perfectionism driver that can
come up there because you're continuously believing and
leaning into that. Feeling that will this is Good
enough, it's not what I expected.
It's not what I was hoping for. So again, it can look like
having really high expectations on yourself and so just getting
clear on what are the expectations that I've set for
this certain thing that I'm doing and how am I not meeting
them? And one of the things, the quote
has escaped me but I'll come back to it, it's maybe something
like done is better than look, I'll come back to it if I can
remember. I feel like my baby Rains really
kicked in today, okay? So my next reason that I have
for you is Black or White thinking or that can also be
called All or Nothing thinking. So with procrastination and
self-sabotage, let's say for example you have said that okay
for three mornings this week three or four mornings this week
I am going to do my work out first thing in the morning as
soon as I get up and so that's your goal that you've set for
yourself and your action steps. Something happens, Monday
morning you get up and you're like yep, I'm up.
I'm out of bed. I've done my work out.
Amazing. Love that for you choose day
comes around. Something, throws you off, maybe
you had a really bad night sleep.
Maybe you slip through your alarm.
Maybe you press snooze three times.
And then you feel like you're rushing around, trying to get
ready for work or get the kids ready to get out the door, those
types of things black or white thinking or all-or-nothing.
Thinking can kick in here and have you feeling like oh well
I've ruined it for They then there's no point.
Like, I've got no other time now, I was supposed to be doing
my workout in the morning, so that's it.
The reality is, yes, it might be ideal for you to be doing your
workout in the morning. That doesn't mean that there is
no time and that you cannot prioritize that, if that is a
goal that you have also realizing that.
Okay, well, ideally you would have liked to do it on Monday,
Tuesday, Wednesday, but your goal was actually to be working
out or moving your body. Times a week four times for this
week, there's seven days in this week.
So, just because you've missed one of the days that you
originally had allocated in your mind.
Doesn't mean that you've ruined the whole week, you still got
the rest of the week to be organizing that and to be moving
through your self sabotage on your procrastination.
So really getting clear on, where do you notice that
all-or-nothing? Thinking this is one that I've
got a lot of feedback from I was talking about black or white
thinking over on my Instagram stories a few weeks ago and I
had quite a few messages coming back from people saying, oh my
gosh, like I definitely noticed that coming up for me as well.
It could even be something like our normally I do my meal
planning on Sundays and I haven't done that and now it's
Tuesday and you know, we're nearly halfway through the week.
What's the point? Well, the point is that you
still have Tuesday night, you still have all day Wednesday,
Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, left in the week.
Are you really not going to be doing any meal planning or a?
The grocery shop for the rest of those five days and just hoping
to be able to throw things together.
Because what happens when you do just hope to throw things
together, you're in that fight or flight mode.
You're not feeling organized, you're not feeling like you've
got yourself sorted, it's another thing that you are then
thinking about as well. And this goes for so many other
things not just meal planning and meal prepping and grocery
shopping. But so many Any other things.
So when we get stuck in that all-or-nothing thinking pattern,
I want you to just call it out. See it for what it is and just
question. Well, is this really true?
Like am I buying into? Excuse me, buying into my All or
Nothing or my black or white thinking pattern here and what
can I do to be moving through? That is this 100% true for me.
Now, one of the other reasons that self-sabotage and
procrastination can happen is maybe you might be scared to
lose what you have. So this is a big one.
When we look at procrastination around creating change.
So like I mentioned very earlier in the episode, we could be
looking at things like leaving a relationship, getting a new job,
moving house, things like that, it's the big decisions in life.
It's the change in life and that can feel scary.
It can feel hard. We like to be in our comfort
zone because it feels safe and we like safety, safety.
Essentially, in our brain, safety Keeps Us Alive.
And so there's a reason why change can make so many of us
feel quite uncomfortable, but it's also recognizing that I
mean, changes happening all around you every single day.
You're not the same person. You are last week, you're not
the same person. You are two weeks.
You were two weeks ago a month ago, six months ago, four years
ago, you are ever evolving as much as you don't like to admit
it. And as much as you would like to
think that you don't like change, you can be scared to
lose what you have. Can be scared of change.
It can make you feel nervous and that's okay, that's very normal,
but it doesn't have to lead to procrastination and putting off
things. Now, the last one that I have
for you, as one of the reasons is being worried about what
other people think, and what other people feel.
So I guess that actually kind of touches on my next episode that
I'm going to be doing for you guys, which is how to stop
worrying about what other people think.
Literally, that whole Workshop, that Iran is on this specific
topic. But when we are worried about
what other people think and what other people feel, essentially
what we start to do and what starts to become a bit of a
habit or a pattern is you start to put what you think and feel
second, this can be a bit of a gradual change, it can be
something that's like oh I'm just doing it every now and then
but if it starts to become more of a pattern and more of a habit
for your brain, all of a sudden, you're so worried and concerned
about what everybody else is thinking and feeling And what
their days are looking like and how you can be the helper and be
that person that's there for them and helping them, and
worrying about what they're thinking and feeling and taking
that into account that you forget to connect with yourself
and check in with yourself to see how you're actually thinking
and feeling and what you want to do about that.
So, I've got some different tools.
I'm not going to run you through all of them because I mean this
is a sneak peek into what one of the workshops would be like and
what the content is like and I can't give Away the whole entire
workshop, for you. Because otherwise, why would you
come and join up with bu happiness college, right?
But there is some tools that I am going to talk you through to
help you because I don't want to also leave you in the Lurch as
well. The first tool is, literally
being aware of the different areas, of the brain, and getting
more comfortable with recognizing that coming up for
you. So recognizing that.
Okay. I've got say these three things.
I my non-negotiable things on my to-do.
List today. And these are the things that I
am getting done. No excuses, my non-negotiables
this is happening. And then I want you to start to
notice, okay, where are the excuses coming up for you during
that day? Then as well, like we said with
the shower or but this is nice. It's nice and warm and relaxed.
Like, I don't want to be moving things, I don't feel like doing
that. I don't want to do that thing.
Just be aware of it and call it out for what it is.
Recognized it. Okay this is my limbic.
I'm kicking in right now. This is my emotional reasoning,
it's giving me an excuse that. Excuse feels good.
I don't have to choose to buy into this excuse though.
I can just view it for what it is and this has been an absolute
game changer. For some of my clients over the
last two weeks that I've been working on this with is simply
having that awareness. They just feel like, oh my gosh,
like I understand myself so much more.
I can literally see and feel this happening in my brain. and
they've had multiple examples of this actually coming up for them
where they're like, whoa, This is what I mean was talking about
in the workshop. I'm like my brain is literally
doing that right now. I can hear my excuse that I'm
giving myself and all I have to say to that excuses, know I can
be better than you, you're just a thought at the end of the day,
that's all excuses are his thoughts.
Now, another one is also the five-second rule.
So if you haven't heard of the five-second rule, I really
encourage you to go and either read Mel Robbins book on the
five-second rule, because she talks a lot about the two
different parts of the brain. And she is absolutely amazing.
Amazing amazing. Amazing, definitely a leader in
her field and she definitely explains the two different parts
of the brain. Way better than what I can at
the moment. But the five second rule is
basically. So what she says is you've got
five seconds before that emotional side, and that
emotional reasoning. All those excuses start to come
in and that you start to buy into them.
So the whole point of the five second rule is That if you give
yourself less than 5 seconds and you are actively taking action
already and moving through and doing the thing then you've got
no opportunity for your excuses to even come up for you.
So she has if you literally Google Mel, Robbins, five,
second rule, there is so many different videos that will come
up. She's got an amazing, Ted talk
as well. So I really do encourage you to
go and look into that, but basically how I use the
five-second rule in my normal day-to-day.
Day life will be with the things.
Like for example, getting out of bed, if you guys are over in the
glow up, Facebook group, you would know that.
One of the things I've really been trying to focus on that, I
really resonated with our action steps over.
Our 30-day reset that we did last month was having phone
free. Time in the mornings.
I noticed that the scrolling was really starting to come into
play for me in the mornings. And so with the five-second
rule, now what I bring in is, okay?
My alarms going off at 6, a.m. I alarms going Going off and I
count down from five. So five four, three, two, one.
Once it gets to one, that's it, I'm up.
I'm out of bed. No excuses.
I am up and my day has started and I started to take action
and, you know, she's exactly right.
There is no room for those excuses to come up in that 5
seconds, then I'm not even really thinking about it.
It's like I'm automatically just up and out of bed by using that
tool. So, if you want to be better
than your excuses, don't even give them an opportunity to
come. I mean, and utilize the five
second rule. Now I've also spoken about the
five second rule as a tool to be able to reduce things like
overwhelm and things like procrastinating because Say for
example, you have said I'm going to work out today and let's say
you have bought into one of your excuses and you get up and
you're like, oh shit. I've got this email that I need
to send or I need to uh, I forgot to do my meal prep, or I
haven't cooked my breakfast or the house is a mess and that's
more of a priority for me this morning at the moment.
Okay, that's cool. Now, the reason that we can
bring in all the way that we can bring in the five-second rule,
here is okay, I'm going to make a decision.
Now, is this movement today still a priority for me?
Is it something that I want to do today?
And if the answer is still Yes. Okay, great.
Well, when am I fitting that in? And when is that going to
happen? If the answer is?
No, and that's okay. It's allowed to be no.
But what it means is when the answer is no and it's like I
actually realize I've probably put too many things on my plate.
Today, I'm feeling overwhelmed moving my body as maybe not my
biggest priority today. That's fine by using the
five-second rule, you give yourself five seconds countdown
from five to one. When you get to one, you make
that decision? Is this thing?
A priority for me today or not? If the answer is, yes, you get
up. You do it or you allocate the
time and no questions asked at that time.
Is when it happens. Or if the answer is, no, it's
not a priority for me today. Okay, well, that's getting past
again until tomorrow. I am not giving this thing
anymore. Brain space.
I'm not thinking about this anymore.
I have too many Other things to be thinking about and focusing
on. And that is what I'm going to
do. Now there's another one, I
mentioned that having too many options can lead to
procrastination. So one of the tools that you can
bring in is give yourself only two choices.
This reduces overwhelm it reduces decision fatigue.
So I know one of the examples that I really commonly used for
decision. Fatigue is say, you've had a
massive day and you get to the end of the day and you're like,
I'd really love a glass of wine. I'm going to go down to the body
shop. I'm going to buy a nice bottle
of wine and just have a glass of wine with you now relax, watch
some TV and just chill out. If decision fatigue kicks in and
your brain has made too many decisions.
For that day, you get to the bottle shop and you're looking
at the 200 bottles of wine in front of you.
And you're just, like, I don't even know, I just don't even
know. I can't even, I can't choose.
I can't even make a decision. That is decision fatigue, giving
yourself only two choices. Reduces Opportunity for decision
fatigue, it reduces overwhelm in your brain and it helps you to
come to a decision quicker. So the question could be.
Okay, if we go back to the working out example, am I
working out in the morning or the afternoon?
Am I having a sandwich or a wrap for lunch?
Am I getting out of the shower now?
Or in two minutes? Am I watching one episode of
this TV show or a my vacuuming the floor?
Like, whatever it is, giving yourself to options means your
brain has to choose between one or the other.
So, this is something that can really greatly help you to
reduce procrastination and self-sabotage.
Now, the other one, That I really, really loved.
Now there's a few, like I said, and I'm not going to share all
of them with you because if you want to know all of them, then
you can come over and join over at bu happiness college and
watch the whole Workshop. But the other one that I have
for you is to embrace impermanence, and this one can
feel hard, but it's accepting that there is always going to be
things that are changing. There is always going to be
other people's opinions and perspectives that you can't
control. Things are not always going to
go according to plan and so when we can start to embrace that and
accept that, as reality, it means that we're not holding
onto things as much. We're not feeling so
disappointed or frustrated when things don't go.
As we were hoping, we are able to be more flexible with our
days, with our feelings, with our emotions, because we can
embrace the impermanence And we can lean into the fact that this
is literally a fact of life. Yes.
I would have liked it to go this way or yes.
I would have liked to be this this or this, but that hasn't
happened. That's not how it's worked out
for me today. And that's all right.
I'm going to run with it and I'm going to be doing my best.
To reduce those expectations that I'm setting on myself or on
other people or other things. So you guys, that is it for me
on procrastination and on self-sabotage today.
Now, obviously, this is such a huge topic.
There is so many other things that we could be diving into
with this as well. So, if you do have any
questions, if you do feel, like, I'm noticing procrastination in
this certain area, how does this relate or what could I do to be
moving through this? No, shoot me through a question
or a message and I'll answer it in the next few podcast episodes
for you as well. Bye guys.
Have a beautiful day. If you liked this episode, I
would love for you to screenshot and tag me on Instagram.
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I get such a big smile on my face.
Thank you so much for hanging out with me today and I hope
that you have got them something from this episode.
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