1 00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:04,800 Welcome back to another episode of nevertheless, she persisted 2 00:00:04,900 --> 00:00:07,600 your how-to guide. Happy place and support system 3 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:09,900 for navigating the ups and downs of Life. 4 00:00:10,700 --> 00:00:13,100 Please share today's episode with your friends and family 5 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,500 members and leave a review when Apple podcasts. 6 00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:18,400 And as always, I'm not a licensed therapist. 7 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:25,000 Just a teenage, girl, hoping to help enjoy Welcome back to 8 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,400 another episode today. I'm joined by my dad. 9 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:29,700 Hello Sadie. Hi. 10 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,200 So can you introduce yourself a little bit? 11 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:37,000 Just to give listeners a little bit. that you were repairing, 12 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:43,300 you've I'm sure. Well, I'm your father and 13 00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:46,900 happily so and in addition to being a father of three other 14 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:51,800 kids who are your siblings and you're absolutely right that I 15 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:55,800 along with your mom have had the experience of going through a 16 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:59,600 severe depression in terms of you know the depression that you 17 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:03,100 had earlier in your life. And so I have that experience as 18 00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:07,500 a father to a teenage girl that suffered from severe depression 19 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:11,200 and anxiety. And so that's my background 20 00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:13,500 also. Okay. 21 00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:16,900 So I was Wondering if you could similar to what we talked about 22 00:01:16,900 --> 00:01:19,500 in one of our first episode, if you could give a little bit of a 23 00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:23,200 recap of emotionally, what it was like to be a parent to a 24 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,700 child who was struggling with depression and anxiety. 25 00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:28,600 Like you mentioned, well, I'd say that. 26 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:33,500 The brief recap is that, you know, someone who didn't have 27 00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:36,700 any experience. Just prior to when you had 28 00:01:36,700 --> 00:01:39,400 depression, I'd say that the first feeling you feel, 29 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:43,400 emotionally is just confusion and this feeling that you don't 30 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:44,500 know what to. To do. 31 00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:50,100 And so where it started was just sort of a feeling that there was 32 00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:54,300 an obstinance or a refusal on your part to do certain things 33 00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:57,300 that a normal fourteen-year-old girl would do in terms of 34 00:01:57,300 --> 00:02:00,600 getting out of bed and going to school or doing things. 35 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:04,400 That would be very normal, which is to sit at the dinner table 36 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:08,100 with us or to, you know, speak and when we had guests over and 37 00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:10,100 things like that. So, so I'd say that the 38 00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:13,500 emotional Journey for me as a parent going through that was 39 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:17,200 starting The confusion and frustration to, then a whole 40 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,300 world of things. Once we actually understood what 41 00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:21,900 was going on, what do you mean when you say a whole world of 42 00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:24,300 things? Well, I think that what I mean 43 00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:30,000 is to First recognize that this isn't anything that you wished 44 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,000 upon yourself. This is anything that you were 45 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:37,000 doing to sort of, you know, you certainly didn't want this for 46 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:41,100 yourself. And so I'd say that the big aha 47 00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:44,800 moment for us was that once we realized how how serious this 48 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:47,500 was and more importantly, how much you were suffering. 49 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:53,700 That was the critical moment when we realized just how 50 00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:58,100 important it was for us to turn our world upside down to try and 51 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,300 prove give you help and to give you support as opposed to 52 00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:05,300 thinking that we could just fix it by saying some things or 53 00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:09,700 taking you know, actions just between your mom and myself. you 54 00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:13,000 like turn the whole world upside down and you mean like The 55 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,000 country and not McClain and then being a boarding school for 56 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,400 years out you're referring to. Yeah I mean basically the you 57 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,900 know as I would think anybody would in this situation, does 58 00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:26,800 you start locally and you try and get help and support from 59 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:32,500 local doctors and clinicians and and subject matter experts and 60 00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:37,700 in our situation that was a nun, high enough level of care for 61 00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:40,400 the situation. So you know, that's absolutely 62 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,500 what I mean, when I talk about turning the world upside down 63 00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:45,500 which There's nothing that I think your mom and I wouldn't 64 00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:48,700 have done teachers try and get you the help and support that 65 00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:51,500 you needed. And you know, for your mom and 66 00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:56,700 myself to learn as much about this as as possible and to be 67 00:03:56,700 --> 00:04:02,400 really good partners and parents to you through it all Whether 68 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:06,500 that's geography weather, that's time investment, you know, a 69 00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:08,700 whole host of things. Gotcha. 70 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:13,200 So, what preconceptions do you have about depression anxiety? 71 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:16,800 Especially in adolescents, prior to be experiencing all that and 72 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:19,300 you and Mom playing a big role in me getting treatment. 73 00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:22,900 I didn't have any experience in it before as it relates to, 74 00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:26,200 teenage depression. So I like, what, like, what 75 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,500 preconceptions did you have? Were you like, oh, just pop into 76 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:32,900 kids or it? It's not a thing that they would 77 00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:36,400 experience, or maybe like anxiety is only about like a 78 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:39,300 presentation. Like what did you think when 79 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:42,300 relating to adolescents? What did you believe about 80 00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:45,000 depression and anxiety? I think I'd have to say from 81 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:48,700 being just brutally honest with myself. 82 00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:53,800 When I say this is that I guess based on my behavior that I 83 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:58,400 probably didn't think that it was possible for a young girl to 84 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,700 be so severely impacted by depression and anxiety. 85 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:06,200 In the manner that you were, and I say this because obviously, I 86 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:12,100 quickly learned, you know, kind of bad as what, once we figured 87 00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:16,100 out what was actually going on. I think I tried to do a 180 to 88 00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:19,700 really educate myself and to just learn as much as I could. 89 00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:24,600 But I'd have to say that before that moment, while I have, you 90 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,900 know, kind of an experience with through my father, understanding 91 00:05:27,900 --> 00:05:29,800 what depression is like, in adults. 92 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:33,500 And, and when I was growing up, My mom always told me about the 93 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:37,600 depression that my father had and that it started for him when 94 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,300 he became an adult when he went off to college. 95 00:05:39,300 --> 00:05:42,600 And so in my mind, I think it's fair to say that. 96 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:47,800 I just assumed that depression really can't show up until you 97 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,400 become an adult. And clearly that is not the 98 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:53,600 case. And so when you first presented 99 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:57,500 symptoms of anxiety and depression, I think, at first, 100 00:05:57,500 --> 00:06:01,000 your mom and I thought that, oh, this is just sort of the 101 00:06:01,008 --> 00:06:04,300 challenging. Years and and, you know, just 102 00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:07,800 some obstinance and some nervousness that are just part 103 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:11,800 of being a teenage teenager and that's where we started. 104 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:15,600 And so I think it's fair to say that, I didn't appreciate that, 105 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:19,400 but it was even possible for a 14 year old girl to be so 106 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:23,500 profoundly depressed and anxiety ridden in the manner that you 107 00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:25,700 were. And keep in mind, I don't think 108 00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:30,300 this showed up 100% on day one. Yeah, felt like it was a gradual 109 00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:34,800 onset and so, in those early station, the minimum. 110 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:38,300 Yeah, so that's right. It's a recognition that there is 111 00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:40,500 truth in what the person is experiencing. 112 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,900 But I think that that parents either because of fear. 113 00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:45,600 They don't know what to do with often. 114 00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:48,800 Blame the child, hey, stop being lazy, get out of bed. 115 00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:50,700 Yeah, you've got everything in the world. 116 00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:54,100 Why do you know, like, what more could you need from us and all 117 00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:56,700 of that sort of stuff? I'm so, so that, that it would 118 00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:59,500 be a, you know, sort of a validation of curiosity, a 119 00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:03,100 slowing down and on attacking Just being, you know, just 120 00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:06,500 accepting that this is. I know it's hard but it often 121 00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:12,000 gets to it will often get to Healing much quicker than simply 122 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,500 attacking. Yeah, I know my mom struggled 123 00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,500 with that for a long time because she was like I just want 124 00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:19,200 her to like get in the car and go somewhere. 125 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:21,600 And then she's like, how is it helping? 126 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,100 If I'm like, yes, I see you in pain. 127 00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:25,400 And yes, it's suffering because a lot of the time, it's like, 128 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,300 how can I get out of this little mini crisis? 129 00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:29,900 How can I keep moving? And not just look at the big 130 00:07:29,900 --> 00:07:33,400 picture and now my dad and I Laughs when he's like I really 131 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:36,600 tried to like play classical music as loud as possible to get 132 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,800 you out of bed and I don't know why I thought that would work 133 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:41,500 but he just didn't know. He didn't understand it and it 134 00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:44,300 took that Curiosity and asking those questions and then that 135 00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:47,500 acknowledgement and growth together for him to understand 136 00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,600 and for us to all move past that. 137 00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:53,300 But yeah, so if that's what you tell parents, what would you 138 00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:58,400 tell teenagers are anyone that suffering from mental illness? 139 00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:01,800 Well, I think a few things one is, I want them. 140 00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:08,100 To let me know about what it is that they're experiencing and 141 00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:11,200 suffering. It's so like I think too many 142 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:14,100 professionals like somebody comes in and says I'm depressed 143 00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:16,000 and say okay well you're depressed you is take this 144 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:21,700 pillow like I don't you tell you what what you need but I but I 145 00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:26,400 really believe that I have to it has to come from within you like 146 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:30,700 this is my experience so that I am not going to judge. 147 00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:35,400 I'm just going to listen. I'm going to understand to the 148 00:08:35,408 --> 00:08:39,000 extent that I can. I'm going to hear you out and 149 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:43,100 and ask you what it is that you want to change how it is that 150 00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:48,400 you want to live your life. And if what you're doing, Right 151 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:53,000 now is this is changing your state of suffering and if it 152 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:56,000 isn't changing your state of suffering, maybe you can do 153 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,800 something else. Now I don't know that as the 154 00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,600 thing that you're going to do is going to make things better, 155 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,200 maybe it does or maybe it doesn't, but it's going to be 156 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:06,000 different, you know, the whole saying that of insanity is doing 157 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,100 the same thing over and over again and expect. 158 00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:11,400 Yeah, salt in a sec saying okay but you're stuck in this Loop of 159 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:16,200 suffering, you can do something different so but that that but I 160 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:21,000 have to work. Came to put it to to say, aye, 161 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:25,500 you have to want to change this and I will work with you to want 162 00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:29,700 to change it, but you've also got the freedom to not want to 163 00:09:29,700 --> 00:09:33,500 change this and and trying to force you to change something 164 00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:36,200 that you at this point in time. They want to change. 165 00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:40,200 Doesn't make any sense to me. So so I will be here, but I will 166 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:43,200 be here. So when you go home and I don't 167 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,000 think that things are going to change, but when you go home and 168 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,700 they don't, if you want to All me up in a month's time. 169 00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:51,600 I'm still going to be here, that's what I say. 170 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:56,300 Yeah, no, I love that. So to our questions, one is what 171 00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:59,100 we used to do when everyone did their goodbyes from intensive 172 00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:01,100 which is what's your DVD favorite? 173 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:05,600 DBT skill and why? Yeah, so I you know I mean I 174 00:10:05,608 --> 00:10:09,000 know that people tease me a lot actually I just opened up a an 175 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:12,900 Instagram account and so I have no idea my own children. 176 00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:16,000 Laugh at me because they say I have met Jesus to them but 177 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,600 somebody's hey, Mom to she So bad at all that. 178 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:21,800 Yeah, well that's it. So so the so that was nobody had 179 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:25,500 posted a dream about like what it looks like when I am doing 180 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:27,500 mindfulness. So I love my numbers. 181 00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:30,000 I think it's the skill that I don't know. 182 00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:33,400 Keeps me most grounded kisi most present. 183 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:38,300 He seemed most connected most true most authentic and yeah. 184 00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:42,200 So that's that's the one I use most and then probably opposite 185 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,700 action. So opposite action is that when 186 00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:47,100 I'm feeling miserable and I'm doing something that's keeping 187 00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:48,400 me miserable. Well, I do something. 188 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,600 I actually caught a different action just because I, you know, 189 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,000 what's the opposite of lying in bed is sitting in a chair 190 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,700 opposite to lying in bed. Yeah, around the opposite. 191 00:10:56,700 --> 00:10:58,900 You know, so I just think it's different action from what you 192 00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:01,000 do. So those are my two favorites. 193 00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:05,300 Not rolling over and sleeping on the other side like a little. 194 00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:19,700 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the last one is pretty big, 195 00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:23,100 but what do you want to get out here like on this podcast? 196 00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:26,600 What do you want people to take away from you and just know from 197 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,200 your expertise in your opinion? Well, you know what? 198 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:32,800 I want them to take is I wish that they knew you were in you 199 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:36,800 and when I first knew you and and I wish this is such a mess. 200 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:41,800 I wish that they could see you because because, because each 201 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:46,700 and every day, when I see stories of success of 202 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:52,000 improvement, Aunt of like taking your life and owning it, it just 203 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,400 brings me, joy beyond anything and I'm so that's what I'd want 204 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,700 them is just, you know, like they can know you what you were 205 00:11:58,700 --> 00:12:01,400 like then that you know, you can tell this story. 206 00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:05,500 But but but you that's I think that, you know, your the 207 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,800 exclamation point at the end of this podcast. 208 00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:12,000 Yeah, no. I that's kind of why I started 209 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:16,400 it because I again was the firmest believer that nothing 210 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:19,900 would ever change for me. And I just didn't believe it. 211 00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:23,700 I didn't think it was possible. And I, when I got to the point 212 00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:26,000 where I was like, wait, this is what everyone's talking about, 213 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:29,200 where you experience joy and you look forward to things and you 214 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:30,800 have people around you that you love. 215 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:33,200 And I was like, I got to tell someone about this because if I 216 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:36,500 the first thing that like had no faith that this would happen if 217 00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:38,400 it happened to me than anyone can do it. 218 00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:44,000 So yeah this wonderful you know the path is never going to be a 219 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:47,900 smooth all the time. It will be bumpy but At least 220 00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:50,500 they're your bumps and their bumps, that you know, how to 221 00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:54,700 manage when the grumpiness sets in, when every look, it's okay. 222 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,100 It's okay? Yeah. 223 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,400 And I think that was like something that was crazy for me, 224 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,300 when I would feel depressed, because I would immediately go 225 00:13:00,300 --> 00:13:01,500 into, oh no, I don't know what to do. 226 00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:04,000 Like this is off like this, I was like, wait, right, but I got 227 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,900 through this and I'll do this again. 228 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,100 Well, that's the thing is that you've gotten through the worst 229 00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:11,200 moments of your life, thousands of times, you know. 230 00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:13,000 Yeah. Here you are. 231 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,700 You know, you've got them. Yeah. 232 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,400 Here you are. Yeah, that was the same thing 233 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,800 with And he started because I was like staying inside all the 234 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,400 time. Like this is the worst thing I 235 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,200 could do for myself. And I was like, wait, I did 236 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,100 this. Like I stayed at residential and 237 00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:27,200 I stayed in the hospital and I've done this before. 238 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:30,100 I know how to cope and do this, and still be happier than us. 239 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:33,800 So, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I was like, I have the perfect 240 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:37,200 special skill set for this quarantine and shelter in place 241 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,800 because I've done it. Well, thank you so much for 242 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,200 coming on and answering my questions. 243 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:43,600 Yeah, of course. If you enjoyed this week's 244 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,900 episode of nevertheless, she persisted. 245 00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:48,700 Please leave a review on Apple. Casts and share with your 246 00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:51,800 friends and family to stay updated on new episodes, 247 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:54,400 dropping and bonus content following, their fleshy 248 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:58,000 persisted on social media, Instagram at, she persisted 249 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:01,700 podcast Twitter at persist podcast Facebook at 250 00:14:01,700 --> 00:14:03,900 nevertheless. She persisted podcast with Sadie 251 00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:07,900 sign and check out my website. She persisted, podcast.com, and 252 00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:09,500 don't worry. All of these are linked in 253 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:12,300 today's episode. Let's don't forget to subscribe 254 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:23,700 and I'll see you next Friday, and I can This thing that's just 255 00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:27,600 kind of what I wanted to do. I want you brocade sorry that I 256 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,900 didn't. Yes, where did I stop right? 257 00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:32,000 After talking about business podcasts? 258 00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:36,100 Okay, yes. So I listen to a lot of business 259 00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:42,500 podcast and just kind of podcast about mindset and I was like, 260 00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:46,100 okay, is these people can do it? Why can't I I think we all have 261 00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:49,700 a story to tell and that's basically what I want to start 262 00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:55,500 my podcast but As far as the name goes, I remember it was 263 00:14:55,500 --> 00:15:03,100 back in October of 2019. I was dating a guy and my friend 264 00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:06,000 told me or actually, I was dating a guy. 265 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:10,200 And I was telling her about my relationship with him and to be 266 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,600 honest, it like wasn't, it wasn't all the bad. 267 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,800 Yeah, been healthy. We had terrible communication 268 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:19,600 and I remember she just kind of looked at me and then she was 269 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:22,800 like it ain't it sis and that's all The name because that's 270 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:24,200 really stuck with me. Yeah. 271 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:30,600 Yeah, this this isn't it and I kind of apply that to my podcast 272 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,200 and I really focus on kind of the different redirections and 273 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,000 like pivots that we all have in life. 274 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:39,800 Because I mean, regardless of who you are, we all have like 275 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:43,000 one thing at least one thing. I mean, granite, a lot of people 276 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,000 have more than one. Yes. 277 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:49,100 But we all have that one thing that really kind of set on this 278 00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:52,000 on a different path in life. And I just kind of like, To 279 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,700 interview people and talked about it and talked about their 280 00:15:55,700 --> 00:15:57,800 own. It ain't it says moment. 281 00:15:57,900 --> 00:16:00,700 So, that's just like a little bit of what my podcast is about 282 00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:03,900 and why Surya, I love that and especially just from like a 283 00:16:03,900 --> 00:16:06,400 reflection to standpoint when you're looking at your life and 284 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,300 you're like, okay, what is it? That ain't it at the moment. 285 00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:11,600 And when you change those things, when you make those 286 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,900 shifts, that's how you end up, living a life that you love. 287 00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:16,100 That's how you end up, truly waking up every day. 288 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:19,300 And being like, I'm excited for what comes next and how you move 289 00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:22,600 out of that place of depression, or anxiety, or Whatever mental 290 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,100 health stress, kind of educating yourself that life can be 291 00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:27,700 different and then accepting that your life isn't where you 292 00:16:27,700 --> 00:16:29,600 want it to be. And that's and that's scary 293 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:32,800 because like you said all these 60 and 70 year olds are like, my 294 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,700 life has passed me by, I don't recognize the life I'm living 295 00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:38,700 and I don't know how it got here and it can be the same thing 296 00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:41,600 with mental illness. Which is you didn't, you didn't 297 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,100 know, it could be different and you didn't recognize how you got 298 00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:46,800 to this extreme low. You don't know how to get out of 299 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,000 it. It's so so scary. 300 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,600 When you realize what a low, you're at even more scary than 301 00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:54,300 When you start going down, that slippery slope and and going 302 00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:57,400 towards that load, because it's gradual, but that Rock Bottom. 303 00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:01,100 When you're like, holy shit. Like this is, this is this is 304 00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:03,800 horrible and I and you're just realizing it because you've been 305 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,800 turning a blind eye to it for years, because it's been here 306 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,400 normal. But yeah, yeah, it doesn't 307 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:10,800 doesn't have to be your normal. That's freaking. 308 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,700 Exactly. And it just takes the awareness 309 00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:15,599 of that of that fact that it doesn't have to be this way. 310 00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:19,400 And right now you're choosing to have it be that way and that's 311 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,599 also more power to you because you can choose To stay in that 312 00:17:22,599 --> 00:17:25,800 low and and although you can argue that some parts of mental 313 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,400 illness are out of your control like the biological component.