Welcome to she persisted I'm your host Sadie Saxton a 19 year
old from the Bay Area studying psychology at the University of
Pennsylvania. She persisted is the Teen Mental
Health podcast made for teenagers by a team in each
episode. I'll bring you authentic
accessible and relatable conversations about every aspect
of mental Wellness. You can expect evidence-based,
Tina, proof resources, coping skills, including lots of DBT,
insights and education. In each piece of content, you
consume, she persisted It offers you a safe space to feel
validated and understood in your struggle.
While encouraging you to take ownership of your journey and
build your life worth living. So let's dive in this week on.
She persisted I'm definitely in the thick of college pressure.
My advice is really just be the best applicant you can be.
Don't try to beat the other people, try to be the best
version of you make yourself stand out and just instead of
looking at whatever in else is doing just do what you like.
Do go deep into that, do great things with it and that's what's
going to help you. The most a lot of parents are so
caught up in the comparison. Don't worry about that.
Worry about making your kid the best applicant, they can be
hello. Hello, and welcome back to
another episode of she persisted.
I am so excited because I have a fellow Teen Mental Health
Advocate on the show today. You guys know that I love having
other teenagers on she persisted because that's where I started.
She persisted. I wanted it to be.
A resource for teens made by a teenager and this conversation
is the perfect representation of that.
So today's guest is that Gottlieb, he is the
sixteen-year-old founder of talk with Zach, a gen Z movement and
community. That hosts important
conversations to change the culture Inspire activism and
make the world a better place. Before we get into this episode.
I wanted to say a huge, thank you because as I'm recording it
is Spotify wrapped day and if you didn't know, Casters get a
Spotify wrapped of their own to learn about listeners and I you
guys killed it this year. This is not me, this is you guys
you guys listened from 70 countries, you guys listened a
hundred and sixty-two percent more hours this year, which is
wild. I released over one point seven
thousand minutes of this podcast.
I hope that no one listened to all of that but really exciting.
Stat. And 39 episodes came out this
year. Which It is insane.
Additionally, she persisted was the top podcast for 176 Spotify,
listeners. It was in the top five for 632
listeners and in the top ten for 970.
So if any of those is you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
So it really does mean the world and she persisted was in the top
5% of the most shared podcast globally.
So let's add on to that. For this next year make sure to
share today's episode with a Family member, if you find it
helpful, as always, if you share on social media already, posted
it. Give you a little shout out.
But yeah, I just am so grateful for you guys.
I had no listeners at the beginning of this.
I've said this many times, my first month was like, 24
listeners, and that was literally all me.
Reloading, I built this from your listeners without an
audience, and I'm just so grateful for every single one of
you that is listened and beyond that.
I just hope this is helpful for you.
And I hope that this show in addition is I mean that I'm so
passionate about and that gives me so much purpose and pride.
I really do hope it's valuable for you on your journey with
your mental health. So without little heartfelt
moment. We're going to dive into this
week's episode with Zack. We talk all things stress and
finals and all different things that teenagers navigate.
We talked about his own experience.
We talk about male mental health, anything and everything.
You can imagine that teenagers are dealing with we dive into it
in this episode, so I hope you find it helpful.
Let's dive in. Well, thank you so much for
joining me today, Zak. I'm so excited to have you on,
she persisted. Yeah, thanks for having me.
I'm excited to do this, of course.
So I wanted to start with talking about teen male mental
health. Specifically, it's a topic that
I haven't been able to shed a ton of light on.
I've talked to, a couple of people about how nicotine use
can impact mental health. I've talked a little bit to
adults that have gone through mental health challenges as a
teenager and how toxic masculinity and things can
impact. That.
But I really wanted to get your perspective as someone who's
currently navigating the challenges of being a teenager,
high school, college, applications, all of that kind
of stuff about what it's like to do that as a male.
Because, obviously, there's so much societal conditioning that
we receive. There's a lot of different
things that the research shows about how that impacts males.
Whether it's suicide rates, whether it's rates of
depression, which is really interesting.
If listeners aren't familiar, the rate of depression in
teenage girls is higher, but the rate of suicide and Else is
higher. So, there's this kind of
juxtaposition that both are really struggling, but it seems
like females are vocalizing. It more, they're more condition
to advocate for those, not even Advocate, but just speak about
those emotions. They're more likely to talk to
their friends about the challenges, they're going
through. So what is that?
Like, have you experienced those differences?
Have you found it difficult to talk about mental health.
What has that been like in your experience?
Sure. I am not surprised by those
statistics at all. Because I've noticed that That
one thing that separates males and females is that females are
a lot more likely to talk about what they feel and share it,
whereas men, I mean, it's so rooted in our culture that men
are supposed to be more stoic. So it makes sense that they just
bought up their feelings. Then, as you can see, it just
leads to a much worse result when you hold everything inside,
in terms of my own experience. Like way beginning of covid, my
grandfather who was really close with passed away and What
happened to the message that I got was be strong?
Like you could get through this, you're tough.
And it wasn't like, I don't really have the room to talk
about what I felt necessarily. Where is the women in my family?
Were given a lot more leeway in terms of expressing their
emotions. And that's when it really hit me
that, it's very different for men and how they deal with
anything, whether it's grief, whether it's something smaller.
And I've noticed that a lot of my friends don't really talk
about their emotions a lot. A lot of my male friends at
least, where's my female friends open up a lot more and are more
comfortable doing so. So I've definitely noticed this
and I think that it is really harmful, not only for men, but
also for females because when we have this culture, it's like
only one gender group can really Express themselves.
And I think it's difficult because when you're talking to
men, you never really know if they're just saying their final.
Arthur actually find in a relationship.
It's difficult, whether it's romance romantic relationship or
a friendship. And I think that if this doesn't
change it just going to be worse and the suicide rates are going
to go up. I just feel like bottling.
Your feelings is one of the worst things you can do.
But the thing is, it's very difficult for men.
Not to do that because of what the culture dictates.
Yeah, it's also interesting to think about the relationship
type. Gimmicks, like you mentioned, if
one person is always expressing emotions, or has more
experience, handling, someone else's emotions, and someone
just doesn't have that skill set, it creates a complete power
and balance. Almost makes it very difficult
for both. Emotional needs to get met.
Do you think that we're seeing a shift towards males?
Speaking more about their mental health challenges and emotions.
I feel like at least on Tick-Tock I'm seeing more Mill
creators talk about these challenges, but it also just
feel like the adult demographic and not yet teenagers.
But I'd love to hear your thoughts there.
Yeah, I've also seen that I have seen some teams open up on
Tick-Tock. Oh, awesome LTS, which is very
nice to see. Very few people are doing it,
but I'm really glad that it's happening because I feel like a
couple years ago, you just never see that.
So I feel like we're in the right direction.
We just need to continue on this path.
I've noticed that Mel vulnerability has become
increasingly talked about and increasingly modeled by
high-profile people. I think that's really good, but
I think we need to continue with this and really I think for my
generation Tick-Tock is one of the best places.
So I think promoting it, they're making videos of content
creators, just share and be vulnerable.
I think that can really help because it's one thing to say to
be vulnerable. And another thing to actually
model, what it's like, To be vulnerable and putting yourself
out there, what can people within the community and life of
someone that is trying to be more vulnerable, trying to
express these emotions do to be helpful.
I'm thinking of what's not helpful with parents being way
over the top, like, oh my gosh, I'm so happy that you're
expressing this emotion, you are so safe and then the opposite of
just not acknowledging it at all.
What has been helpful for you or for friends of yours or people
that you've seen in the mental health space?
Obviously something in the middle there, I mean I feel like
so many people are over playing it and being like, Oh my God,
this is so amazing. And it just so overblown that it
I feel like it almost turns off people.
Yes. No.
I think meeting somewhere in the middle being open and receptive
to what they're saying. Instead of being like, Oh my
God, you're being vulnerable. This is amazing.
It's like listen and act like it's a normal thing because if
we just make it all over the top, it's going to seem like
this weird new thing instead of something that were trying to
normalize. So I think my tip for that is
just listen and be there and be open to what they have to say
and respond and you know, II think it's a really special
thing of someone opens up to you.
So just meet them in the middle. Absolutely.
And it's a very achievable thing to do to just create space for
someone else's emotions. You don't have to stress out
about saying the exact right thing back.
Just treat it like normal, continue the relationship.
So I think that's a great tip. You have created this amazing
Community where you answer so many Audience questions about
Teen Mental Health struggles challenges.
Whether it's school or relationships, or college
applications, all of these different things.
So I love to hear from you what, your top stressors challenges
that you're seeing in your audience that teens are facing.
I think it really depends on the time like a few weeks ago or
about a month ago. Now we were in the midst of the
finals so then it was really academic.
Stress is all the rage. Now, over the summer, I Think
it's a lot more of relationship pressure whether it's a breakup
or social with friends and social media is always, it's
just a chronic source of pressure and anxiety.
So I think those are some of the big ones and then there are
other things that I've talked about like, grief addiction,
gender identity, and racism, and just things like that, that are
consistent as well. Absolutely.
And especially, with the news landscape, those things are
always being brought out those emotions are consistently very
raw, so very relevant topics. So I'd love to dive into a
couple of those topics and give input and advice on how
teenagers can navigate those kind of model that vulnerability
as we just talked about. Let's start with relationships
will dive into social media after that and then cover a
couple more topics on relationships.
What are you seeing? What are the most common
concerns that are coming up and then what advice are you giving
to your audience? So, in terms of relationships,
I'm getting both, platonic and romantic relationships.
I think both of them are really important and I'll just start
with atomic. So I think the main things that
are coming up at like, oh I'm becoming a little more distant
from my friends over the summer, and I think the main thing for
that is just keep in contact and understand that it happens to
literally everyone. It just natural people go.
Places people do things. So I think just knowing that,
that's what happens over the summer.
And also just keep in contact, send them a tick tock, I don't
know, like text them, whatever, just something like that and
then the other thing is more personal and specific
relationship things. And I think the number one thing
that's important. I mean this can go for either
romantic or just friends. But communication is so key.
If people don't communicate you just never get to know what the
issue is so communicate just so you feel if you don't like
something voice it out, it's not going to hurt the other.
Person. If you do in a respectful way,
and then romantic relationships, actually did a post.
I don't know. This is coming out of the post
about breakups today because I got a blog post about it
actually, and they can be really tough.
But I think the important things to remember are just don't over
analyze, what happened? Don't stress about it.
Take some space, get away from wherever you were without
person. And just focus on yourself,
focus on moving past, it's going to hurt for a little bit.
You not going to be over her. In a day, if it was a meaningful
relationship or him or if ever you're attracted to was thinking
of me. But, yeah, I think those are the
main points for that. And then again, I've gotten some
when people are still in a relationship.
Again, communication is really important.
I just feel like a lot of times, people are scared to sort of
move forward, and I think the number one thing for that, which
is being on the same page and talking about where both of you
are are you seeing people anxious nervous?
I'm sorry. About how relationships friends,
and romantic will change. When you go to college or
graduate high school and experience that transition?
Yeah, I definitely have people worried about that.
I got a question though. This girl wrote and she's like,
my boyfriend and I are both graduating from high school, and
I'm just a little worried about that.
So I think it really depends. I mean, personally, I think that
long distance when you're starting college is a super
difficult. Yeah.
But I mean, by all means if you're willing to To do that in
your in so decision, both of you are happy with, by all means, do
it. And I just feel like knowing
that almost all relationships just, and when people go to
college is just something really important to keep in mind.
And then another thing, in terms of friends, keeping in contact
is just really key their tax, each other check-in, just build
those relationships. And, you know, if it's summer
break, winter break whenever I mean, your home, a lot in
college, you know, there are Of break.
So you could definitely see each other.
Then it's not the same. I'm not saying it's the same.
I'm just saying there are more opportunities than a lot of
people think. I've also found that
relationships at home, whether its family or friends, from high
school can be so helpful in getting support venting,
improving your mental health, because in college in most cases
your meeting an entire new set of people.
You're still building those relationships.
So to also try and lean on those people for mental health
support. When your Struggling can be a
little bit difficult because the foundation might not be there.
And so I think it's a another good reminder that you can lean
on those High School relationships, you can call
befriend and vent about final stress or this friend, you're
getting in an argument with a roommate troubles or whatever it
is or call a parrot and be like this is the worst week ever.
I'm so stressed out because that Foundation is there.
Those people care about you, they love you and they want to
hear from you and even though you're not living at home
anymore even though you're not seeing each other every day.
It In that they still don't want to support you or that they're
not worried about you or wanting to see you succeed.
And so that was something that I think I almost forgot at the
beginning of college. And then once I remembered, it
was just such a nice thing to know, like no matter what
happens. I have these amazing
relationships that I've already built and I can lean on those
for support while I'm still continuing to build these new
friendships and get to know this new group of people.
Yeah, I think that's a great strategy especially if you're
hearing from people who are at college with you.
Cuz it's giving you a different perspective and it's adding new
information in a, new way of thinking, of the situation.
And also, just having that support from someone that you
feel that comfortable with. I just feel like separating
yourself Talking someone. That's not where you are and
just make up all the different. So, yeah, thanks for bringing
that up. Yeah.
I think another thing, I love what you said about different
perspectives, and it's funny because I feel like, what I
noticed with my friends and I, we would like, share the
highlight reels of what was going on in college.
And whenever we would laugh, Really talk and catch up on what
was going on. We were all feeling the same
way. We were like, this is
exhausting. We miss our high school friends.
We still haven't found our groups yet and we will at some
point, but this is just overwhelming and new and things
aren't as perfect as they might seem from the outside.
And so, I think that's a really great thing that you're all
navigating. This new experience at the same
time, you're all awkward, new freshman kind of in this new
landscape with new challenges you've never experienced before.
And so even though you might Might be on different sides of
the country are with completely different people in different
Majors. A lot of these experiences are
Universal and a lot of them are very relatable and have the same
emotions come up for lots of people.
Yeah, definitely. I mean, I think whatever College
you go to for a big score, small school.
It's still the same things you're dealing with.
Its meeting all new people college is stressful academic
bathrooms? Yeah.
Yeah, exactly. The living is different.
Yeah, you're away from home. And yeah, I just feel like
having that support And knowing you're not alone, not just at
your college, but everywhere is really important.
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Again that is teen counseling.com.
She, persisted also relating to relationships parents, Dynamics
conflict there. What are people most concerned
about. Is it improving relationships
with parents? Is it trying to be more
vulnerable than building trust? Is it conflict?
That's coming up. What are you seeing in your
community? Yes, I got a lot of questions
about parents also got questions from parents asking about how to
help their teams, which is kind of funny, right?
Sending. So many questions.
Yes, and it's kind of funny, but all the parents listening, well,
answer all your questions. I love getting But it's funny
that they're always reaching out and it's not the Tina's much.
Yeah, I know. It is really funny and I think
what that come with and the reason for that is they really
care about their teens. They want to do everything to
help them, to lead them, to a successful life, and you've
never noticed before, they're looking for all the help, they
can get an object. So there's no manual.
So it totally makes sense. They should really make like, a
parent guide book, and there are so many books on parenting.
There are so many books. Splice the next.
I really yeah, like an official Bible.
Yes, like that. Yeah I don't know, everyone
follows that would be amazing. But anyway, I think the main
things that parents are writing in about or how do I get my team
to open up? Yeah, I think I mean the
strategy that I've noticed works, the best is just creating
a space where your team feels comfortable coming to you and a
space where you're not going to overreact.
I feel like so many teens are nervous to come to their
parents. Like on the be punished or
they're going to go crazy and they're not really going to
listen to me. And I feel like so many parents
are actually guilty of this. I feel like they're so quick to
blame their teens and I think what they have to realize is
this is a learning process. This is an age where we do
things that were not necessarily the most proud of, you know, and
I think that allowing them to come to you is just a really,
really good idea. Yeah.
And I think treating like every little vulnerability that they
share with you whether it's I don't know, a teacher that they
don't like at school or stress. They're experiencing or they've
gone through a breakup treating that as if it's this big crisis
that they need a lot of validation and support on so
then they know exactly what to expect if they really need your
support the you know that you'll be validating, they'll know
that. You'll listen, you won't judge
that you care about them that you'll give them advice if they
want it or they'll just be there to support you if that's what
you need. And yeah, so that your building
that relationship Up your building that foundation and the
teens. Not like, what would happen if I
shared an emotion with my parents because they've know
what happened. It's just on a bigger scale.
They really need that support. Yeah, yeah.
I understand. Great that.
And then on the other end for teens that are writing in about
parents, a lot of it is just dealing with overbearing
parents. Yeah, because parents, my mom is
as well, it's so common, it's so so common, especially now it's
crazy. And for college, oh my God.
I yes, you can. It's it's insane.
But I think my strategy for that is to just set boundaries and be
vocal about what you need from them.
And I think parents need to understand that this approach,
it's just not effective as they think there are things out
there. Kids need to do, but if you
control and micromanage every aspect of their lives, not only
will not help them be a successful applicant for
college. But also, Prepare them for Life.
Another thing is Parents. Try to force their kids
sometimes to do certain activities and I think this is
really detrimental, because if the teen isn't actually
passionate about whatever it is, it's not, I mean like the
parents, having them, do it for college, reasons for the resume,
but if they're not actually passionate about it, it's not
going to do much. And I feel like a lot of parents
won't they sort of dissuade their teens from doing things
that That are less mainstream but they should know that that
actually looks really good. So yeah, let your teen pursue
their passion, it'll help them for college to help them for
Life. Take a step back.
And if just be there for support, don't don't try to
incriminate on every aspect of their life because sometimes it
can feel like that. Yeah.
And I think teens do get burnt out, that's very possible, even
though they're young the schedule that they're keeping up
with and the commitments, their balancing are really intense and
so, I think it's important to be mindful of that and your teen
and as a teenager being mindful of those signs of like not being
interested in what you're doing feeling exhausted, feeling
overwhelmed, wishing you. Had a break from all these
commitments, because it's a very real thing.
And it can be really detrimental to these bigger goals.
That probably both you as a teen and your parents are pursuing
whether that's college or career or larger passions.
Yeah, exactly cool. Okay.
So, social media, another huge topic that everyone Wants to
talk about because the data does show that social media is
detrimental to mental health, it decreases self-esteem.
It increases body image issues and we're spending more time on
it than ever before. What are the most common
concerns that teens are bringing up?
Is it social media addiction? Is it self esteem?
Is that confidence? Is it procrastination?
What are people worried about? Yeah, I I think that's all of
those. Some of the big ones are really
addiction because, I mean, if you're on Tick Tock that are
just Endless videos on your page and you could just get sucked
right in and those videos do not help when you're like, you've
been scrolling on Tick-Tock for a long time.
Want to take a break? Oh my God just strong.
I'm just like, no, I'm just going to scroll past.
Yeah yeah. So so it can be so trapping and
sometimes I'll be like, you know, I'm gonna take a quick
break and be on Tick, Tock for a few minutes and then it'll be a
couple hours and I just don't know where that time.
Lat Instagram, same thing on Instagram.
I've noticed a lot of comparison and body image and lifestyle
comparison as well. And that really affects
self-esteem and confidence and I think that is really really
detrimental because what a lot of people are missing is that
you don't see any of the bad pictures.
Do you have any pictures people take to find the right?
Like how many pictures we didn't take when they're laying in bed
or procrastinate? Oh yeah, exactly.
Yeah. No One's Gonna pose.
I'm in bed doing homework. And I know they're going to post
on there at a party or they're hanging out with friends doing
something cool or they're traveling and I think that
jealousy factor is just really hurtful for a lot of people to
see. Yeah, I think another thing too
to add here is that the algorithm is really good.
It will listen to you. So if you decide to be
intentional and decide to be a critical consumer with your
Instagram feed and you're like, I know these creators aren't
supporting my mental health. I know that these friends, even
though I love them are making me have negative thoughts, you can
mute people, you couldn't. Follow you can block and you can
start consuming more content that is good for your mental
health. And my favorite example of this
is that my explore feed on Instagram, is all puppy videos
and nail videos because those are what make me happy and it's
what I go on Instagram to consume.
Its loading, here are my copy and nail videos.
It's true. So you can make social media
place that does improve your mental health, even if it's just
sprinkling and nice quotes or videos, is that make you happy
or funny creators? I think it's very possible to
alter that consumer experience, but you have to decide to be
intentional about that. And you have to be mindful about
what? Emotions come up when you're
scrolling on Instagram or Tick, Tock, or these other platforms.
So I'm going to funny to adhere. I saw a tick tock a while ago
where it was like the most toxic social media platform without a
doubt is LinkedIn. That is definitely true since
that's kind of bad. LinkedIn is terrible.
Yeah, I think that's A very underrated comment.
I think that just what people put on there is insane,
especially for teens, I mean, with this culture, there are
people in eighth grade with stacked resumes, on LinkedIn and
this is volunteered one-time, oversaw and curated just it's,
it's insane. Yes, it really is, it's over the
top, there was this one kid that went to my school and he worked
at Starbucks as a barista and he put in this LinkedIn he was like
I can't remember the exact language managing My partner
overseeing customer relations and mentioned, and he just made
coffees and it was like, can we have to check back here because
this is not accurate? Yeah, I know it's mean people
just put anything on there. I mean, they just spin whatever
it is they did and especially with college applications.
It makes you feel so insecure about yourself as well.
Because, you know, you're showing these ways that you've
invested your time and you're like, did I not invest my time,
right? Did I not do enough?
Where did I go wrong? And then there's not Anything
you can do to change that. So what is your advice for
teenagers that are in the college application process?
Whether that's SATs act essay, writing touring schools?
I know you're in the thick of that right now.
So I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Yes. So I'm going to my junior year
of high school so I'm not gonna be picking my school's until
about Midway through but I don't think you the school said I was
going to actually be applying to until right before I submitted
my application. So I'm very impressed that
that's your timeline. Yeah, I think that's what.
My school wants us to start thinking about that, but I'm
definitely in the thick of college pressure.
It's very, very tangible my school.
It's extremely competitive and I think that I mean, it's
competitive everywhere, honestly, but I definitely feel
this in my advice is really just be the best applicant.
You can be don't try to be the other people try to be the best
version of you make yourself stand out and just instead of
looking at whatever in else is doing just do.
What you like to do, go deep into that, do great things with
it and that's what's going to help you the most.
It's not going to help if you're like, oh, this person is taking
this class and even though I'm not interested in the subject, I
need to take the same class to compete.
It's just not going to help you. So I think a lot of parents are
so caught up in the comparison. Don't worry about that.
Worry about making your kid the best applicant, they can be.
Yeah, and it's also so hard because when it comes down to
it, you are competing against your classmates.
Your friends. Because if they're looking at
applicants from all around the country, even if there's 12
qualified applicants from your school, they would never admit
12 students from one school and one town are going to choose one
or two. And so, it's very difficult to
wrap your mind around. It's really not something that
you've probably experienced before, and there's so much
societal pressure associated with this.
We're getting this messaging that you don't get into a good
college. You're not going to get a good
job and then you won't be able to support a family and blah
blah blah. There's this I think assumption
that all these teams are making, which is if you don't go to one
of those schools, you're not going to be successful.
It's such a terrible - especially.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because only like five people
from each school or going to those schools and roughly.
I don't know, maybe a little bit more, but it really depends on
the year. Last year, super competitive
here, it was insane. But anyway, there's so many ways
to be successful. And going to one of those
schools helps, but it doesn't make you successful.
You could go to one of those schools and not be a successful.
There is someone that's ranked last in the class at all of
these schools. Exactly.
And it's the amount of effort you put in at how passionate you
are about, the subjects that you're pursuing and and it's not
about the school. And I know it sucks to hear that
because you're like, well, I want to go to this good school
instead of this other school or whatever it is that you're
thinking, because that is again, what we're told.
But look up different individuals who went to smaller
schools who The, the recent lawyer that was on, Johnny
Depp's case Camila Vasquez, she didn't go to a crazy, big law
school, she did go to USC for undergrad.
I will say that but the schools that you go to the ones, you
decide to pursue aren't going to make or break it your future,
your career. What you decide to do.
Once you get to that school is really what's going to make a
difference. If you are a parent or someone,
that's friend of someone, that's going through this process,
don't ask them where they want to go to school.
I know it's really hard. I asked my sister all the time
and she's like I have no idea Sadie.
You want to know your nosy, but asking someone and Cecily, like
where do you want to go to school?
What's your score? What's your reach school?
It just adds a lot of anxiety and it's very vulnerable like
yes. You're applying and risking
rejection from the school, but telling all these people and
then knowing that you might not get in and they'll all know is
something that's really scary and it's completely the teens
choice if they want to share those dream schools or not.
Yeah. So I have Some friends that are
rising seniors right now and a lot of them are just like I'm
not going to talk about where I'm applying what I'm gonna do.
Yeah, I think that's a great idea because imagine if you're
like oh I really want to go to this school and then when the
decisions come out everyone's going to be asking about and it
can be really hurtful that's a rejection or a waitlist or mean,
you know what, whatever it is? Yeah, referral whatever.
So yeah, I just feel like keeping it to yourself, it's
just a great strategy. I mean, maybe you tell one, or
Two close friends to have a support system but by no means
is anyone's business to be super public about it.
Yeah, 100%. And I did the opposite.
I definitely was pretty transparent about where I was
applying, and it was mostly because I just didn't think I
was going to get in my whole thing with the podcast is
vulnerability. And I talked about these
emotions and if I get rejected, I want to talk about what that
experience was like, and what worked, and what didn't?
And I'm looking back and like, I think I manifested it, I spoke
it into Existence, I'm like this is where I'm applying but I had
so many friends that chose not to do that and it was a really
effective boundary to set for them and it allowed them to
process those emotions without getting 50 tax.
Being like did you get rejected? What's the decision?
What's happening? This person got in.
Did you get in? Because it's just so exciti
provoking. Yeah, yeah it really is.
And I think going back to us saying about social media and
comparison comparing the school's you got into are the
scores, you got, are your grades.
Are you actually? Eric regulars, it is so
detrimental. So just avoid doing it.
And the thing to remember is it's a toss-up, it really is.
If you didn't get into your first choice school maybe last
year, you would have maybe next year, you would have.
It really depends. Maybe your reader was having a
bad day, you've no idea. There's so many things out of
your control that you really just shouldn't get caught up in
it. And I've heard of so many people
just their self-esteem being ruined by the decision, don't
let it ruin you. Because again, there's so many
things out of her control, it is crazy competitive, and you
shouldn't base, how you view yourself?
How much confidence do you have? In yourself on a decision that
you only have so much control over?
Yeah. And like when you put it into
context, how they're building these classes, it's like what
percentage the admissions Lotsa already earmarked for athletes.
And people that are recruited to fill up these teams.
And what percentage of people, I don't know our quadruple
legacies or Things like that. So donated a building or
whatever. Exactly.
And like, we all saw the cold College admission Scandal like
those slots were going to different people.
And then there's everyone in the entire country is applying and
there's this whole range of scores and different
extracurriculars. And what if one person had a
crazy recommendation, all of these things are factors that
you can't control. And so even though you are
submitting this portfolio, that feels like everything that's
good about you. And the best of the best parts
of yourself, it's not a reflection of you and there's so
much More that goes into that decision.
Yeah, exactly. I think that's so important to
remember in college, is honestly, one of the most
stressful things that I've heard teams do it with 100% Fiat last
thing that I want to touch on. Before you wrap up is navigating
big emotions and life changes things like grief, like, we
touched on in the beginning, what are your tips for teens
navigating, those types of things from your experience and
then what you're hearing from your audience.
So, my advice for that, is I've gotten a lot of questions about
these heavier topics. And what I do for those is
obviously I mean I'm 16 I'm not super versed in what to do in
that situation. So I'll bring on Experts to talk
with them about these various topics.
I was getting a lot of questions on depression and suicide.
So I had a conversation about that, I've had conversations
about serious anxiety and those types of topics and I think that
the number one thing is to seek professional help.
Yes. That's the number one thing.
It's past the data. Of.
Oh, you could talk to a friend about it.
Maybe Practice A coping mechanism.
Go take a walk or go get your mind off it or listen to music
or something. It's beyond that.
So I think you really need to seek professional help from an
adult and forming your parents or a trusted all that's other
than the help could also be really important as well.
Yeah, I think one of the biggest takeaways from struggling with
my mental health and supporting my friends that were struggling
with their mental health was to not go to each other because
just like you mentioned as a teen, you're not Meant to be
able to navigate these things. You haven't been educated for 12
years and had clinical experience on how to handle
depression, and grief, and anxiety, and all of these
things. And so, there's no reason you
should be expected to handle those alone and advise someone
on how to navigate those. And yeah, it's just not
something that team should be equipped with.
And I know it's instinct to go to your friends, but the burden
that you are putting on them. If you're not going to anyone
else. It's totally fine to tell your
friends. I'm struggling with this.
I just I want you to know that you're a big support for me and
I appreciate that. But only going to one of your
friends and only using them as your main support system is
something that both of you will become overwhelmed and burnt out
by pretty quickly. And so going to a trusted adult
whether that's like a school, counselor, teacher that you
trust, parent? A family friend, a therapist
psychiatrist pediatrician. All of these people are great
resources and they'll point you in the direction of other people
that are trained to support you and know exactly what to do to
help you feel better. Oh, better and feel seen and
validated and less overwhelmed, and like, things are out of your
control. Yeah, exactly.
I mean, I think that the emotional burden is just so
important to remember is separating yourself from your
friend, saying, someone professional is just really
important to do. Yeah.
And it's again, to emphasize, it's not that you are a burden.
It's that these things are really big and overwhelming and
know, teens should be expected to deal with them.
Yeah. Like it's not you, it's just It.
There are reasons that people go to school for decades, to be
able to specialize in these things.
There are reasons that there are hundreds of studies figuring out
how to best treat these things and how to best support people
and what resources resonate and what don't.
And so, it's important to ask the adults in your community.
What are those resources? What can I do?
Because you're not expected to know those things and they'll be
able to utilize their wealth of knowledge, they'll be able to
have other people involved. And so A game changer and I
highly recommend well, where can people continue to listen to
your talk? Was that conversations continue
to consume your content and submit questions if they want to
sure. So the Instagram is talk with
Zach that's my username you can find it there and then my
website is Taco. Zach dot org and you could
submit questions there and fly to become an ambassador.
There reach out for media opportunities and just check out
more of what Taco Zack is. So visit both of those again,
talk was that kind of scram a talk with dr.
Org is the website, awesome. Those will be linked in today's
show notes so that people can find those easily.
Thank you so much for joining me.
I'm so glad we got to do this and cover so many topics that
are front of mind for so many teens.
Yeah, thanks for having me. I think we had a great
conversation was great. Yeah, thank you so much for
listening to this week's episode of she persisted.
If you enjoyed, make sure to share with a friend or family
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And if you haven't Already leave a review on Apple podcast or
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thanks for supporting, keep persisting and I'll see you next
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podcast or Spotify. You can also make sure to follow
along at at she persisted podcast on both Instagram and
Tick-Tock and check out all the bonus resources content and
information on my website. She persisted podcast.com,
thanks for supporting, keep persisting and I'll see you next
week.